FknBucky

I’m at a loss today on all aspects of what I believe and what we should or shouldn’t do as a whole.  I see kids playing all the time and remember what it was like to simply just have this vast imagination and fight make believe warriors.  I would build forts, stock up supplies, and have all of my weapons at the ready just in case some enemies got to close to my all important headquarters. 

The only thing I was 100% sure about was the fact that my little brother wasn’t going down unless I was already dead.  I was there to protect him and as life turns out, years later he was there to protect me, but that is another story.  I’ve seen the good, the bad, the horrible, the wonderful in this planet.  I hope to see much more of it before I’m done here and move on to whatever it is that we do when this body dies.  I personally believe, well if you ask I’ll tell you, but for now I’ll leave that to me.  I’d hate for someone to start saying I’m telling them what to believe in.

We grew up with no real amount of wealth when you measure it by the standards that people are obsessed with today.  Although I didn’t know it at the time, we were one of the wealthiest families on the planet.  We always had clothes to wear, we always had work to do, and at the end of the day we always had plenty to eat.  We even found time to fight off some extremely evil monsters known as big sisters that would try to infiltrate the perimeter.  My sisters are still monsters, but they are far from evil. 

We had a garden, we had hogs, dairy cows, chickens, and what that breaks down to is we had a ton of shit to scoop everyday, and somewhere to put it.  We had apple trees growing out in the horse pasture and I still remember being memorized by the new plastic yellow apple picker dad brought home one day.  The handle was a mile long, to me anyway, and well it was fun for at least 6 or 7 minutes before something else became shiny.  Funny how life changes, surroundings change, but in the end we still run around chasing whatever happens to be shiny.

Something happened on that dairy farm in Northern WI that I didn’t know about until years later.  In fact none of us kids that happened to live there knew about it, and frankly neither did the adults.  They were just along for the ride as much as were.  Not having a clue about what the outcome of it all was going to be, but just taking it one day at a time.  The amount of drama that went on at that little farm next to a town you’ll never know about is amazing.  What is more amazing is how well things turned out.

You’ll never know about the hard days that were spent making sure the kids didn’t know the power was turned off while they were at school, or being the kid that acted like they didn’t know.   You’ll never know about not getting new clothes because your brother needs glasses.  You’ll never know about going to school smelling like the barn because your dad works night and you have to help your mom milk cows before school at the age of nine.  You’ll never know about the lessons of life isn’t fair that one had to learn quick to survive on that farm.   Well I do know about it. 

 Make me special you might ask?  Fucking right it does.  Make me better than you.  Not a chance.  Makes me who I am.  I’m sure you had your own problems growing up and if your parents were worth a shit they taught you how to deal with them.   Here is the real kicker, if your parents didn’t teach you how to face them, then you need to teach yourself.  Grow up and become an adult.  Plain and simple. 

That farm taught all of us many things and hopefully with some words, I can relate to you a tiny bit of those experiences.   Just maybe I can spark a little spot deep inside your head that will cause you to remember your own moments of self discovery.  It was hard at times, but very good at others.  We learned to depend on ourselves when things got really hard, and always had faith that each other would be there when it was unbearable.  Together we could conquer anything and did.  Still do to this day.

What is the point?  The point is we learned to rely on ourselves and no one else.  We found a way when it was needed.  Everyday I hear sob stories on TV about it is to hard, and I can’t do it.  Someone give me some help.  Fuck you.  Life is hard sometimes, it is part of it, and I can’t stress it enough.  You think you have it hard here?  Go kick it in a hut in the middle of Africa for a few months.   I will take the bad days and take my chances before I give my decision making to someone else.  At least when it all goes to shit, I know who to blame.

I hated that farm growing up.  I hated working everyday no matter how wet, how cold, how tired I was.  It didn’t matter what was going on in the world we had to wake up early and go down to the barn and milk the cows.  Every single day I woke up and did what needed to be done.  Ready for something else that might blow your American Idol filled mind?  I still do.  I don’t care what challenge it is that I face today, tomorrow, or even the next day.  I’m going to get up and do whatever I can to make that problem a past problem and move on to the next one.  At no part of the day, do I sit and daydream about how the government can come to my rescue. 

Is this word picture starting to take shape yet?  What kind of person are you?  Is life to hard?  Your problems to big?  Are the things that you face more important than everyone else?  Maybe I should phrase it this way?  Are you to weak?  Has no one ever cared enough about you to sit and wait for you to get up on your own and figure it out?  Do you not care about yourself enough to make that happen? 

If you don’t understand what I’m talking about then you are part of the problem and a part of the reason that we won’t be able to solve it.  The lack of personal responsiblity is the disease and fixing all of these other “symptoms” is simply not going to solve anything.  In the end we will fall down and have no one around to pick us all back up.   It is a cycle that won’t stop until everything crumbles and the world is forced to pick up the pieces.  Score a victory for the weak, and save your sob stories for people that are easily manipulated. 

Fknbucky