FknBucky

Monday.  The day after the 3 days of weekend binge drinking when you have to try and remember how many people you owe apologies too before next weekend so you can do it all again.  Some of you are all grown up and pace yourself and to that I say Fuck you.  Pacing yourself is for amateur porn stars that think people actually like watching that crap.  I remember once this high school kid had a porn dvd that some other high school kid left with him as collateral for some weed.  I could really get to the nuts and bolts of why, but it doesn’t matter.  What does matter is we watched it and there was a huge fly that landed on the dude’s balls for like five minutes.  It was funny, but then again my sense of humor isn’t exactly normal.

Kind of like when this chick I used to “hang out” with used the term “fly on the lip poor”.  I never heard this before, but when she explained it I understood.  Those commercials that everyone ignores begging for money, just the cost of a cup of coffee per day, and you can save little Timbukatoo.  Send him to school, give him medicine, and blah blah you know you already changed the channel long before they give you any information on how to actually donate your hard earned money.  So you are so poor you don’t even care flies crawl around on your lip.  Sad huh??  Still think you are getting a raw deal here in  the completely unfair USA.  

How many of those kids have you sponsored??  I haven’t done any either so I’m an asshole too.  I just admit it.  I do give money to charities that supposedly do some good over there, but like most organizations how do you know how much actually gets to the kids??  These do gooder’s have to fund the people in the administration and in the end you feel good, but in reality some asshole just got a six figure annual income.   Makes me sick, but once again I’ve done nothing to stop it just like you.

Anyone else heard about these FEMA “camps” that are being built all over the USA??  I saw it last night and it has my attention.  Old military bases being transformed into residential living centers that have locked doors and barb wire fences that are aimed at keeping people IN not out.  Troubling to say the least and you should educate yourself about them.  I know I will be in the next few months. I’m not one for conspiracy theories, but I’m also not one to get blindsided by an out of control group of people.  It would not take to much for civil unrest to happen in this country and for your own safety the law reads our president can execute martial law taking the place of all elected individuals in your community. 

That kind of stuff is enough to make me want to start smoking weed again.  Life was so different when I didn’t give a fuck about what was going on around me.  My only worry was making sure my jar (never keep good weed in a bag) was filled with enough purple cush to quell the anger.  Now I write stupid blogs and post them on Facebook along with pictures of my dog.  Fuck I used to be cool.   The lady that cuts my hair mentioned “Wow you are really putting on some pounds.”  This makes me almost feel bad for the Chicken McStupid blog and the fact I make fun of fat people all the time.

Instead of going home and eating a couple cartons of Ben & Jerry’s liberal named fat sauce, I went to the store and bought some veggies.  I will be dieting and exercising for the next couple weeks to get my fat ass back into shape.  I won’t be suing Mickey D’s, instead I will take responsibility for my shitty health decisions I’ve made the past 8 weeks and get it together.  I’m glad she said that because it really motivated me.  I love people that tell the truth.  If you don’t have the balls to say exactly what I need to hear, then you are an awful friend.  For the record, smoking weed does NOT induce weight loss.  Once Richard Simmons figured that out, he became a speed freak and invented sweating to the oldies.  He is a weird little man.

On the honesty front though, a word of advice don’t go calling out all of your obese friends this afternoon thinking you are doing them a favor.  Some people enjoy being lied to and live in a little bubble world.  Have any of you heard about this man from North Korea that escaped from that prison camp??  Talk about a bubble world.  That is the worst thing I’ve ever heard about and I’m going to read his book ASAP.  Hell it has to be better than the “Hungar Games”.  Did I ever fuck up there.  The first two books were cool when the kids were killing each other, but the third one… Holy teenage girl drama.  I delt with that shit in high school and no reason to relive it. 

Just a bunch of shit today.  Kind of felt good to rant away though.

Fknbucky