FknBucky

Sadness.  It is an emotion we all experience sooner, later, and it sucks.  It usually has no warning and hits us extremely hard.  So hard it can take days, weeks, even years to fully recover from some of the pains/scars it leaves on your heart.   The more we put ourselves out there, more enjoyable moments we have, you learn these sad moments will find you.  For to be sad, you must first have the incredible joy of knowing a person, pet, or thing that brought great joy to your life.  The sadness comes when you realize they are gone, but the memories we make with them always last forever.  

It is those moments of great joy/humor that are best remembered, kept close, and forever cherished.  In the time after losing someone close we must remind ourselves that although the pain is great, it was the fun times we were so lucky to have with them, that causes us to experience grief.  Without the fun, no one would be missed.  Thank God for those moments of joy as they are never long enough, we can never get enough of them, but make no mistake this guy will keep creating happy memories until the piper demands payment.

I will never forget an awesome moment with Valerie.  She was only 5 or 6 years old and already a special person in my life.   As a daily visitor to the Schneiders/Wendt household I would take great pleasure in picking on her and Stephen.  The smiles and warm embraces I would get when I saw them proves they hated every second of this “torture”.

Micheal and I used to flip them off and then laugh when they returned the gesture.  I’m sure LuAnn and Kit were very pleased with us (Mike’s fault) teaching the rug rats these types of things, but kids will be kids.  Once Valerie started kindergarden, Mike & I would see her in the lunch room having her afternoon snack with milk.  Hiding behind the wall we would say “Psss” until she looked over and then flip her off. 

The agony of knowing we would tease her later if she didn’t return the gesture versus the knowing she would get into “big” trouble if caught returning the finger, was extremely humorus to us.  Finally in an act of desperation she held one little hand up to shield the other from her teacher.  Slowly that middle finger came up along with a incredible look of satisfaction and very mischievous grin.  A couple of high school kids had just been put into their place by a six year old having milk and cookies.  Mad respect was given at that moment.

Upon hearing about the tragic accident Saturday I was crushed like many of you.  It isn’t fair, not right, and the bastards that did it deserve to be hung.  As much as we torture those men, it won’t change the outcome of what has already happened.  The courts and laws will have their day.  Please don’t dwell on what will happen to them as the anger will only act as an anchor dragging you down to places you never intended to be.

There is a time to mourn, a time to be sad, to reflect and hold those most affected by the loss of such a great person.  Don’t forget to take that time and really embrace it, but remember it too shall pass.  No one I’ve known would ever want any of “us” to stop making great happy memories together; to be their legacy.  Nope, we all want to be remembered smiling, and taking that big step to flip off two idiots behind a wall is a great way to do it.

I love you Valerie, and you will be very missed.  Thank you for the memories. 

Bucky.