10
Sep
23

No Bad Kids


The world is a crazy place. Different cultures, different people, different color of people, different languages, different trees, different crops, different laws, and on and on. I spent my early years getting picked on daily by the other kids at school. I’ve talked about this before. I hated it. I felt alone all the time. I was around people just like me, but somehow I was not part of the group. No differences, but clearly we were not the same. It sucked.

It was also a major blessing. These experiences made me appreciate friendships on a massive level. Not having something makes a person appreciate it more once they get it. Hence why working for something is better than someone giving it to you, but that is a message for another day. My appreciation for friendships allowed to make thousands of friends over the years. Young, old, white, black, Mexicans, Germans, Asians, gay, straight, and blah blah blah.

Having all these different points of view has been very educational for myself and I’m very thankful for that. The other side is I know a lot of people that pass away. Someday it will be me. We all go sometime so work hard to be a person remembered for the right reasons. I lost a friend this week who should be remembered by the world for things you don’t know about and it is a shame. She was an amazing human and I’m a better person because of the conversations we had. I was young when I met her as one of my friends dated her Granddaughter so when we went over there she would talk with us.

We drank beer and she allowed it because knew we would be safe there and she knew if she didn’t we would have gone out driving around. The lesser of two evils I suppose. She took care of her two granddaughters for reasons that aren’t your business or mine for that matter. I wish I was able to talk and see them as I will always care and love them, but life happens and we all get busy with the paths we have taken. Some great times and memories of those days. Sitting there at times I would find myself talking with Leona about all types of stuff. She didn’t like the drinking, but instead of screaming NO like a crazy person she would ask “Why do you think you need the beer??”

That type of conversation was foreign to me. If my Dad didn’t want me to do something he told me he would kill me if I did it again. Sometimes that worked and sometimes a it made me learn how to hide it better. I would struggle to answer her question because no one ever asked me a question like that before and actually cared about my answer. I had no idea how important those conversations were while I was having them, but later in life I would reflect on them and become very grateful for those lessons.

I assumed I was a “bad” kid because I didn’t follow the rules like other kids my age. It is easy to allow these thoughts into your mind, but extremely hard to get out once you’ve allowed them to set up shop. That goes for all negative thoughts you tell yourself. Leona explained to me that “There are no bad kids.” There are bad parents, bad environments, bad decisions, bad leaders, bad preachers, bad schools, and bad all kinds of stuff. No bad kids though.

To completely write off a child is a crap thing to do. To look at a kid and say you’re not worth fighting for is borderline evil. As humans we can do better. Some kids might say “Eff your kindness, I’m going to go rob someone”, but that doesn’t mean we stop trying for all the rest of them. My opinion of myself changed the night I had this conversation with her and thankfully I never forgot the lesson. Anyone that knows me can tell you that I will do anything to help a kid. That wasn’t natural instinct on my part, it was a piece of wisdom that Leona gave me. Her legacy will live on every time I don’t give up on a kid just because they or someone they know thinks they are “bad”.

It has been over 20 years since I’ve seen her although I did send X-Mas cards a few times. You never know what you can learn from a person if you don’t take the time to get to know them. If you want to be wise and a person of substance you must talk to people outside of your circle. I hope she knows just how much I respected her and that she changed my thought process in life for the better. I could not even begin to count the lives I’ve been able to improve using the philosophy Leona so graciously gave me. It took years for those comments to actually mean something to me, but once I understood what she meant the world around me changed.

It became much less about me and it caused me to understand that I could make a difference in the world one person at a time. It becomes addicting. To help. To see someone succeed when their whole world told them they couldn’t. I’ve already overcame so much in my own life. I know the formula. It isn’t a secret. One simply has to wake up and say “Not today MoFO” and then go out to the world with a smile that can’t be broken. I’m good. Now I concentrate on helping others see that for themselves. I have no number of lives changed except for this. As many as I possibly can. If my whole life goes by and I only help one person it will be worth it. That one person might change the lives of thousands because I helped him/her on their way.

You have no idea how many lives you change for the better. Or for the worse. Maybe Leona only affected my life, but I would say her legacy is a massive one. What will your legacy be??

No Bad Kids. I will always be in your debt Leona.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE


4 Responses to “No Bad Kids”


  1. Amanda Bonel's avatar 1 Amanda Bonel
    September 10, 2023 at 4:56 pm

    Thank you Bucky! This means so much to me and the rest of my family! Grandma would have loved to read that. You are a blessing and I love you and miss you very much.

  2. Benjamin Robert Peter's avatar 3 Benjamin Robert Peter
    September 11, 2023 at 3:22 am

    Great piece. Keep writing you’re great at it! Love you buddy!

  3. September 11, 2023 at 3:23 am

    Great piece. Keep writing you’re great at it! Love you buddy!


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