FknBucky

Booom. My life is hectic. I feel constantly busy, but I rarely think I get anything done. I am my own worst critic and that will never change. I spend a portion of each day doing for others that will never show up as “done” on my list, but it makes me feel good to make others smile. I share about 10% of what I actually do and I promise you will never know everything I do for others. Mainly because it isn’t your business, but you should know if hard times finds you, I will be one of the first to offer help. Sometimes that help is simply being a person to talk to. I have an ability to listen. I read the language of actions. I understand by mannerisms when someone wants advice or a different opinion compared to when someone just wants to let it out. Sometimes the best thing you can say is absolutely nothing.

I talk to all kinds of people everyday. I forget peoples names a lot because I talk to everyone. A fat funny guy in a wheelchair named Bucky is not an easy guy to forget. It is the cross I bear. I’m simply to awesome. I’m also very good looking and truth be told I am possibly the funniest human alive. Takes a lot of energy to be the coolest eff’ing person on the planet everyday, but somehow I get it done. Okay now that I’ve told my limit of lies for the day, let’s get to some truth. A couple I know recently had their first baby. I was very very excited for them, but something happened. I didn’t see them for a couple months and when I did it was clear something very bad happened. My heart broke.

I have seen them a few times and I still haven’t asked what happened. I never will. Someday they might tell me or they might not. Doesn’t matter. I still talk with them and after the first moment when I said “Something really bad happened, didn’t it??” They shook their heads yes and I instantly gave them both hugs and said “I love you”. That is it. When I see them now I talk about the weather, funny stories, and other stuff to help give their minds a break. They don’t need more people to look at them with pity and say “aaawwww I’m sorry”. I have an ability to make people feel good when they don’t. God gave me a gift and I do my very best to use it often.

You have to win small battles. Everyone deals with depression at some point in life. Bad shit happens to everyone. Every gender, race, income level, sexual preference, and whatever other labels you put on people. I make an effort to simply think of everyone as human and stop putting them into small categories. You should try it, but that is another blog.

What is a small battle Bucky?? Great question voice in my head. Yes I talk to myself and answer questions myself asks me. Here is a couple examples from my life. After I was paralyzed, life was hard. Physically it was harder to accomplish tasks and the mental battle I fought constantly was brutal. I could not flip a switch and be instant happy all day. I had to find little things to smile about everyday as stepping stones to get back to being my normal joyful self. These things just happened organically and were never forced. The song “Sanitarium” by Metallica was something my very close friends in high school loved and the beginning when the song goes bing ping we would always be like “EFF YEAH!!!!!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=luvv21ewfuk

I was rolling back to my car and that song came on. I had to smile. I thought about the times when it would play and we’d all get excited and pumped up. Maybe it sounds silly, but at that moment I was happy I lived thru the accident because if I had died there would be no more of those. Small battle. I love the ladies. I’ve always enjoyed the company of pretty women and that will never change. I was still in the hospital when we took an “outing” to the local mall. The occupational therapists take the new wheelchair people there to learn how to use an escalator and get around in public. A friend of mine was next to me as we were entering the mall. Two ladies got right in front of us and they both had that “Baby Got Back” thing going on. I looked at my friend and said “Hmmm guess it isn’t all bad”. My new height allowed me to stare at a lower level. Small battle.

I tell people often that it is okay to smile. It is okay to be happy. Just because some thing very tragic happened doesn’t mean you forfeit the right to smile. Trust me I get it. Trauma sucks. Getting paralyzed sucks. The reality is though when things like this happen there isn’t a redo button. You can’t wish it away. Being super sad and miserable will not erase it. It just doesn’t. I wish it did because I would be the first guy in line. If I could whine and bitch myself out of this wheelchair I’d start today. I am still working on the theory that if you eat Ice Cream 6 times a day it will make everything bad go away. It hasn’t reversed all the bad in my life, but I am fat now. So there is that.

You start with what you can control. That is your attitude. You have to be willing to let good in. A negative mind is closed for business. When your attitude is on board things begin to happen around you that will make you happy. These things will be small, but you notice them because you turned off the only allow negative in button. As long as you’re alive there is always hope for a better tomorrow. Hope alone won’t manifest it though. You have to work at it. Accept whatever it is and then start to find reasons to smile. I promise no matter what you’re dealing with, there is still great people around you, and events that will bring the positivity out of you.

I don’t have a problem right now Bucky. Good for you. That doesn’t mean you get to shut down. Quite the opposite actually. There is someone in your circle that is going thru something. Maybe they lost a pet, a family member, going thru divorce, or an illness. Make a scrapbook of their pet. Frame a nice photo of them with that family member. YOU have the power to change the world. We all do. Just have to use it. Be kind. Instead of always thinking about yourself think “What would I want someone to do if it was me going thru that??” Then do it. Help the person you love win a small battle. Then do it again tomorrow. Everyday. Never stop.

Do Yoga/Be Happy. Follow MishiahYoga on IG.

Want a better world?? Then make one. Become better. Don’t worry the world around you will follow.

FknBucky

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