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24
Sep
21

What if vs when

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Another week comes to an end. Summer 2021 has come to an end. In a week we will be in the last quarter of this year. How does time go by so fast?? I do quite a bit of reflecting on my life. I don’t mean looking back with regrets, but looking back to see how much progress I’ve made on my goals for life. I only have one question for you. If not now, then when??? When will you start your own business, when are going to travel to the place you dream of, when are you going to talk with the cute girl at the office?? If you start looking at life with ”when” instead of “what if” you will find it to be more rewarding.

What if is what dreamers ask. They secretly wish this and that happened or will happen with no real plan. Days, months, and years go by without any tangible progress towards the ”what if” you keep saying to yourself. What if I move? What if I go back to school? What if I talk to her? What if I go out on my own? While asking yourself these questions can be useful, it can also lead to negative thinking that always finds a way of coming true. In life you ALWAYS get what you think about. Read the book ”The Secret” if you haven’t already. If you have read it again. The issue of asking “what if” is the answers you give yourself. If I move, I won’t have friends there, if I go back to school and fail, if I talk to her she might not like me, and if I start my own business and don’t make it????

The negative answers always come and now you have already been unsuccessful without doing a darn thing. Seems like a bad plan to make your life awesome. Change your way of thinking by simply using a different word. When I move I’ll have the opportunity to start with a clean slate and the reality is your friends aren’t going anywhere. When I go back to school I’ll be on my way to building my self confidence, learn new skills, and be on way to making more money doing something I love. When I talk with her I may find out she has been waiting on my dumbass to say hello. When I start my own business I can finally start to do things my way and stop making others money.

I started my own business 2 years ago. COVID didn’t help, but there will always be challenges. If it wasn’t COVID there would be something else to overcome. Regardless of skin color, gender, rich, poor, sexuality, or any of the other labels media and politicians use to divide us there will be problems. If your parents did their job you will have no problems identifying them and solving them. You don’t understand Bucky. Some random guy called me a racist word in the grocery store parking lot. Perfect now you have an excuse to be angry and complain the world is against you. You give a lot of power to some ignorant moron you’ll never see again. I say ”Fuck that guy.” Not literally. Move on and forget it. Explain to me how arguing with idiots helps you reach your goals…

The beauty of being a ”when” thinker is you will subconsciously start to put a date on it. When I talk to that girl tomorrow I’ll know if she is interested or not, allowing me to stop wasting energy on the ”what if”. You might find out her Dad is the racist you ran into at the Piggly Wiggly which helps you decide if you want to raise little white power babies. Racism isn’t funny Bucky. Thanks for pointing out some obvious shit. Now move on and take this big sack of worthless anger with you. I hope one day you learn to just leave it and not fill that sack up in the first place. Lots of great people in this world, don’t waste time on crappy people, and learn to ask yourself “when” instead of “what if”.

Many times the things that I write are a reminder to me instead of a ”lesson” to you. I get caught up with the anger, the sadness, the fear of failure, and the worthless habit of blaming others for my problems. That last one will be another blog coming soon, but for today I really hope you use this blog as motivation to reflect on your own life to see what questions you’re asking.

I wrote this at 4 AM this morning, but just getting around to sharing it now. Not sure where this all came from, but it sounded good to me. I’m a when person and not a what if.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

20
Sep
21

Just Fix it

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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A lot of time has gone by since I’ve written a blog. Well one I’m actually going to share. It has been a hard summer personally for me and for a lot of people I know. I found myself going further and further into this funk that didn’t seem to brush off. I don’t know why and I couldn’t shake it off like I normally do. The hits kept coming. I’m strong, but even strong people only have so deep they can go. The deepest of wells that hold willpower eventually have a bottom. I came to the realization that no matter what I do next year is going to be harder than this one. The one after that will be harder yet. That is a tough thing to admit to yourself.

Truth is I need to get into shape and get my weight down. The COVID excuse is over and it is time to find some actual willpower. My shoulder is super sore. I have trouble transferring right now that leads me to fall trying to get into my van. Usually worse in the AM because of my spasms. When I lift to get into my van my whole body flexes and makes me go into the fetal position which makes it impossible to get my butt on the seat. Depending on the slope of the land around me my chair will either stay put or push away just far enough I can’t get back into it. Yeah I have to think that thru every time I park. I fell this AM getting into my van so that wound is still fresh.

I don’t tell you these things for sympathy, but rather so you see how real life is. I got up, continued my day with a smile, and left the anger, the hurt, and the weakness back in the parking lot. No reason to drag that bullshit around the rest of the day. I also found my way to shaking the funk off and it came from the easiest of things to do. Be myself. Just be Bucky and stop trying to analyze my problems to death. I’m fat. Lose weight. Pretty damn simple. We tend to overcomplicate the shit out of problems we face. Stop eating sugar/candy all day. Drink water instead of soda, Gatorade, and the rest of the crap. Willpower. Simple.

I also got back to doing for others. This is a huge part of my life. When my time is done and I’m standing at the gates of Big Bang Theory, I want them to say ”Wow Bucky, you made a difference everyday to someone’s life.” That to me is the most important thing I can do with my life. Just help others. Stop spending all day worrying about things you can’t/won’t solve overnight. I use my weight as the example here. Dwelling on it 24/7 is not going to speed the process up, but it will kill me on the inside if I don’t stop. Find ways to make the world better around you which will keep your mind from dwelling. You don’t have to go build a house with habitat for humanity right out of the gate. Baby steps.

I walk Annie in the same area almost every single day. There is a dog poop trash can that I deposit Annie’s little treasures into every day. I noticed on Thursday the lid was not attached any longer. The bolt had rusted out leaving the lid in limbo. This is a bag full of dog shit in 100 degree heat. To say it smells is, well true. It smells really really really bad. Having the lid on helps keep the smell down to a minimum. On Friday I went by and the lid is on the ground about 4 feet from the can. Not good. I thought man they need to fix that shit. Fast forward to Saturday. The lid is still on the ground and the smell is worse than Joe Biden’s breath. Hard to have fresh breath with your head up your ass all day. I instantly think “fuck it” I gotta fix this damn thing. It wasn’t hard and took very little time.

I went back to my apartment, found some bolts, and then went up to fix it. Two problems. First bolt was skinny enough, but not long enough to go thru both holes. Second ones were to fat and would not go thru the hole no matter how hard I pushed. So I gave up and said ”screw it”. Let someone else deal with it. ha. No chance. By the way if you are giggling at my bolts that is why we are friends. I went back to my apartment to look around for something to solve this problem. That is when I saw them. Almost standing with their hand up saying pick me!! You guessed it. Zip Ties. Suck it Poop Can. I’m came to win.

I put the lid back on and used two zip ties per side. It was dark outside and no one walked by while i was doing this so I’m not getting any credit for it. If you only do good things to get praise you need to rethink your philosophy. Do good things because it is the right thing to do. If you see something wrong and you have the ability to fix it, then do it. I grew up on a farm. You didn’t walk by problems with fixing it. It didn’t matter who was to blame for it, if you got credit for it, but it did matter it got done. Walking thru the barn and notice a bag of corn is leaking out then you fix it. Whether it was you or someone else, that bag of corn had to be picked up. We have gotten to a place that many people will say ”Look at that, how wasteful, someone should really pass a law saying corn should be sold in stainless steel packaging.”

Everyone is so focused on solving the problems of the whole damn country. Fix your own backyard. Help your neighbor. Stop trying to ”fix” some person in Rhode Island that don’t want you. Pick up that one split bag of corn and go about your life. Imagine a world where everyone took pride in their home and worked to make the world better by fixing their own neighborhood. Lead by example. Trust me, if you do it enough people will notice, and if you’re not a self righteous prick they will follow your lead.

Be awesome, be happy, and be the guy/gal that puts the lid on the shit bucket.

I hope you’re ready. FknBucky has a lot to say!

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

02
Aug
21

“I’m Lovin You”

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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This isn’t how I envisioned my next blog to go. I haven’t published anything since writing about Ryan. Not that I haven’t had things to say, it just felt so trivial once I started putting it into words. We lose the purpose of existence in a moment. 9/11 – We are one!!! A few years later it is a Facebook post that catches your eye so you share it saying never forget as you grab another Truly from the cooler. I’m not saying it is right or wrong. It simply is what happens. The best way to honor the people we love that left us to soon is to cherish the moments we have with the people still here. That is the purpose.

I drove to Alabama today. I meant to drive over 2 days ago, but kept getting caught up with this and that. I believe looking back now I was looking for things to delay my trip because I knew when I got here things would become real for me. It has been real for my family here in Lower Alabama or LA for the locals. We lost Momma last week. She was everyone’s Momma. The first time little brother introduced her to me he called her Momma and said I should as well. That was that. She embraced the stereotype and simply was everything people say about Southern hospitality. There are never guests in Mommas house. Once you cross that threshold you are family. Grab a plate, load it up, and find a safe place to sit down.

Chances are you will be run over by a dog or kid at some point while eating. Some people have beautiful houses filled with expensive neat stuff. It can be impressive, but not for me. I want to be in a home. A dwelling that is filled with love, amazing smells of pound cake baking, and hopefully a muddy dog chasing a 7 year kid down the hall. I feel sorry for people that don’t get to know what that type of love is like. It simply didn’t matter who you are outside of these walls because while you are inside of them you always had food to eat, a family right here, with a large helping of love for dessert. Okay that is not true because dessert is a ginormous bowl of ice cream that Dakota has to scoop or it doesn’t taste as good.

I stayed here in Alabama with little brother and his family for a long while after I left Cali. I decided I was going to lose some weight and started eating salads for meals. Not an easy thing to do with Momma making fried chicken, fried pork chops, potato salad (MAN I LOVE THIS), pound cake, and pretty much everything. Collard greens with bacon, jalapeños with bacon, hell I think some mornings we had bacon wrapped bacon dipped in melted butter. I would eat my salad only to have Momma hand me a plate with bacon wrapped bacon on it saying it ain’t right just eating a salad. Who am I to argue??? I can lose weight next week.

I pulled into the driveway tonight about 8:30 PM. I was supposed to leave on Friday, then Saturday, then Sunday morning, but it was almost 1 PM by the time I was leaving Charlotte. In my defense I do have a job and had to handle a few things before being gone this week. Pulling in I noticed the lawn was littered with cars. Sunday dinner. Every week there is a big meal and everyone eats. I smiled and thought this is what Momma left us. She didn’t leave us stuff, money in a mattress (although I’m checking first thing in the AM), or some big inheritance. Nope, she left us each other to lean on, laugh with, and share the pain with in hard times. We don’t have to face anything alone because we have this beautiful family Momma gave us. She was wise many times teaching lessons without pointing out the incredibly obvious.

We won’t need a crafty Meme to remember Momma. It won’t come around once a year to throw up a never forget picture of Momma. Nope. Every get together, impromptu Wednesday night we decide fuck it and have a few more that a couple while building a fire, and the Sunday evenings sharing food, laughs, and love with the people that are important to us. The truth is she never left. Her physical body stopped holding her back and now she can watch over us all. Momma didn’t go to bed without telling everyone she loved them. You didn’t walk out her front door without her saying she loved you. She understood how precious moments are and without shoving it down our throats she simply taught us by doing it. I’ve pondered what to write for a week now. I really didn’t have it until I pulled into the driveway tonight. I was met with 20 voices telling I was late, fat (thanks Shannon), ugly, and most importantly a tiny voice asking where did I want all my precious pictures a certain young lady drew for me. One of them is scary she said so I have to be careful when I look thru them.

It doesn’t seem fair that she is gone. I know it is incredibly hard on my sister in law. I can’t imagine the pain she is in and I never like to think about the day when well you know. We will keep Momma right here with us everyday. Every time someone leaves we say “Love you!” Every time we hand an idiot eating a salad a plate full of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and collard greens with bacon there will be Momma looking down on us proud that she left a legacy of love, respect, and a few extra lbs….. She also is one of one that passed every level of Candy Crush and became a God to the game.

We all love you and miss you Momma. We cherish the wisdom and kindness you showed us.

Always tell those you care about that you love them. Don’t wait for a perfect moment or time. Just do it every time. I can still hear the words.

“Alright, I’m loving you.” Then Momma walked up the stairs. This time Momma had a few extra stairs to climb to be with her maker.

“Goodnight, We all love you too Momma.”

FknBucky

20
Jun
21

Loss of a Brother

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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I’m trying not to puke or punch someone in the face. That is the text back I got when I asked someone about Ryan. I like everyone else am in complete disbelief. Never in a million years would I have thought something like this could happen. Not in Traer. Worst thing that usually happens is a bloody lip from a disagreement at a keg party. We are good old boys. Work hard play hard. Up at dawn, work all day, and then drink some Busch Light with the boys at night. Growing up, marriage, having kids and the responsibilities that come with those things takes away the beers with the boys time, but there is a brotherhood, a bond that gets created and once a member you are always a member. Time and distance do not cancel the membership.

Time goes by, stories get more colorful, the truth gets stretched a little further, our beer bellies get bigger each year, but the brotherhood never waivers. It doesn’t matter if I saw you last week or ten years ago we start up right where we left off. I chose to move away and haven’t lived in Traer for 20 years. Doesn’t matter I’m a lifetime member. Money can’t get you into this club, there is no leadership, and no real rules to follow except simply be a decent human. The biggest unwritten rule is when your friends come over to help you get a job done, you had better have plenty of Busch Light on ice in the cooler for when the tools get put away the beers start cracking open.

We lost a great brother the other night. I can’t think of a kinder man who could have been the face of our unofficial boys club. I met him long before I moved to Iowa. I remember he had a motorcycle when we were young and I thought that was so cool. Our Dads knew each other growing up so when we would visit Traer, we would sometimes stop at the Cooper farm. Dad and Jan would drink beer and reminisce while Ryan and I would stay under the radar doing what boys do. Cause a ruckus somewhere, but try not to get caught doing it.

Like all of us in life there are ups and downs. Ryan was not immune to the rollercoaster life, but he always had a smile and was a good friend to anyone that needed one. Like everyone else in Traer I’ve spent the last two days reliving the memories I have of him. I can’t remember a time where he was confrontational with anyone. He wasn’t weak but rather so easy going that there was never a need to embrace conflict. I’ve known a few people like this and it is special. I think that might this situation even harder to understand. How can someone so good at avoiding conflict have something like this happen in our small town?? The hardest part is knowing even if all the answers come it won’t bring our brother back. To say he will be missed is an extreme understatement.

We haven’t kept in touch the last few years, but for a while there we did SnapChat back and forth. Getting Snapchat’s from the cab of his semi truck while he hauled cattle always made me laugh. Ryan was blessed growing up in a family with a solid business helping keep them financially secure, but you wouldn’t know that to talk with him. He never presented himself better than anyone else and worked just as hard as the rest of the crew. I admired that quality as I’ve met plenty of men that sit back counting Daddy’s money as if they accomplished something.

I know that the Traer community along with the unofficial brotherhood there will step up and help his family get thru this. I can’t fathom what they must be going thru at this time. As my friend in the beginning of this blog said “I’m trying not to be sick” as this situation leaves me lost on what to do. I’ve traveled more than most, made friends from all over the globe, and appreciate them all. The bond that one makes with friends growing up is the strongest friendship bond there is. I’m no stranger to tragedy, but this one is so unnecessary and sudden that it is incredibly hard to accept.

Ryan Cooper will always be a member of the Busch Light Brotherhood (I know how cheesy that sounds, but I had to call it something) in Traer, Iowa. He will never be forgotten and the character I knew him to have will be honored. My heart is completely broken when I think of his boys having to continue growing up with only memories of their Dad. I know there are plenty of good men in Traer that will make sure they understand how great of a man their Dad was. It is times like this that I really dislike living so far from home, but my feelings of sadness and anger with this situation are like I never left. It hurts my heart and it sucks. Things like this aren’t supposed to happen to us. This is something you see in the news happening somewhere far away.

I know the community there will rise up to help his family because that is what small town Iowa does. My thoughts and prayers are with his family. I truly hope they get some answers and over time have some closure. There is no map to follow in a situation like this. You just have to get up everyday, do the best you can, and honor your loved one by living your best life. I have trouble expressing emotions in my real life, but I’ve found I can vent things out with writing. I’m so so so sorry this happened and my heart breaks for the entire Cooper family. The loss of a husband/life partner, a father, son, brother, and friend is such a tragedy. No one should have to go thru what they are, but the strength of that small Iowa farm town and the brotherhood Ryan was a member of will be there to help every step of the way.

RIP Ryan. You will never be forgotten and the memories we have of you will live on forever.

Tell people you care about “you love them” everyday. It is important. Don’t wait to chase your dreams.

WIth a very heavy broken heart,

FknBucky

31
May
21

The Families

By Bucktown 2 Comments
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Army SPC Jeremiah Collins, says goodbye to his wife Angela (R) and daughters Skkye Collins (L) and Shyla Collins (2-R)

Yesterday I talked about respecting those that gave up everything for the idea of freedom. You can disagree with anything you want in America because you are free to do so. You don’t have to blindly agree with everything our government does, has done, or will do in the future. In fact it is your job as a citizen to question them, all of them, Donald Trump and Joe Biden, just because your “guy” or “gal” is in charge doesn’t mean they get a free pass to do whatever they want. I read a lot. I’ve read so many stories about incredibly brave men and women from all kinds of backgrounds that I know strength has nothing to do with race, gender, age, sexuality, or physical ability. I can’t do a push up, but I’m the strongest person you might ever meet. Or not.

To call me strong is easy. You see a wheelchair, think about how much it must suck, how sad or depressed you would be if it happened to you, and then label me as strong because I have a smile on my face. That isn’t strength, it is survival. I only have so many days left on Earth. It could be 1 more day or 10,000 more days, but I’m not going to waste them feeling sorry for myself about things I can’t change. Want to know real strength?? Go talk with the mother of 3 young children who’s husband is in harms way serving our country 6,494 miles from home. Yes I googled the distance from Charlotte, NC to Fallujah, Iraq. Keeping it real on FknBucky.

The families of our heroes need to be remembered on this Memorial Day as well. A friend of mine growing up lost her brother who was serving the USA when he was killed in a helicopter accident. I don’t know if she reads this blog or not, but I dedicate today’s blog to her brother and their family. His name is John Kaye and he was a hero. I bring it up to let her know a lot of people acknowledge the huge sacrifice he made to make sure the rest of us are safe and free. I didn’t know him well on a personal level, but I vow to never forget his name or sacrifice.

It is easy to forget the real reason for Memorial Day, but the families left behind to try and make sense of it all don’t have the luxury to forget. Commenting on a Meme in between beers 2 and 3 is not honoring those that gave their life in defense of our country. You don’t have to agree with the war, the military, or any of it, but you must understand these individuals believed in America enough to die for it. The sadness and the loss never really go away. It is impossible to understand the pain associated with loss like that unless you’ve been through it. We all hope you don’t experience that kind of grief.

Memorial Day is more than brats on a grill. More than having your first beer at 9 AM. It is important to take a few minutes, look around your life, and appreciate all that you have. Regardless of the hardships you have going on in your life, you are still here with the opportunity to change your life. The opportunity to read a book, start a business, have a family, or anything else you would like to do. Those that gave up their lives so we could be free don’t have the opportunity to do any of those things. Show your respect by living a full life. Chase your dreams. Hold those you love and tell them you love them often.

I’m very sorry that John Kaye lost his life serving our country. He was way too young and I know how much his sister and family loved him. He is missed by many and never forgotten. So remember him today, remember all of our fallen heroes, and don’t forget to honor the families that have lost their brother, son, Uncle, sister, daughter, or Aunt. Those labels came long before we called men like John a soldier, a Marine, a sailor, or any of the other terms used to describe service members.

I try to write about things that are meaningful and tell some jokes along the way. With a country so divided I hope that regardless of where you fall left or right you can take a moment to remember a hero that didn’t give his life to democrats or republicans. He gave his life for Americans. The least you can do is spend the day being just that. An American. An American that can see all the good we do together as a country. You have 364 other days to hate and trash the USA. Just for today drink your beers, eat the brats, and embrace the idea of freedom so many brave men and women died for.

FknBucky

Read * Think * Live Free

30
May
21

Memorial Day

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Life is pretty awesome when you allow it to be. We live in America (most of us as I have some very distant readers) which is the greatest country in the world. Mainly because I’m here. There are a lot of people, millions of people in fact, that we will never get to know. They are impossible to meet. They laid their lives down to protect future generations in this country. In my opinion you owe them the respect to understand exactly how big that price was they paid. I love reading history. There is so much we didn’t learn in high school or college. Simply posting a photo on social media of a widow at a gravestone is not showing the respect all of those fallen soldiers deserve. You are free to stand on a street corner and yell “America Sucks”, “America is racist”, or “America is the devil” because of brave men and women you will never meet.

This country isn’t perfect, but no where is. Simply look at where we used to be compared to where we are now. Eventually we get it right, but it never happens overnight. I say this A LOT because it is true. You can’t HATE something or someone into changing. You can love someone so much they have no choice to trust you and learn from you. You take the most racist white power asshole out there and when you scream HATE at him/her you only fuel that hatred. Set that same person down with a black person that only shows love and compassion to them for a real conversation. That changes things. Even the biggest of ignorance can not ignore that all those feelings of hate are based in fantasy land.

Being wrong is okay. It is okay as long as when reality slaps you in the face, you learn the lesson and change your heart. On this Memorial Day weekend please take the time to understand the freedoms we enjoy 365 days a years did not come cheap. America isn’t perfect, but we have the freedom to change. We have the freedom to lead by example. We have the freedom to chase our dreams. Ignorance, evil, and just crap people are never going away. No matter how many laws you make, catchy slogans you come up with, or how many people you hate for good these type of people will always be there. Learn to identify them and then forget about them.

On another note I wanted to share a cool story. Years ago on Memorial Day I wanted to honor those that gave up all for my freedoms so I drove to Balboa Park in San Diego. Awesome place by the way. They have numerous museums for this and that. I had no plan and just went. I ended up at a military museum that honored some remarkable people who did extraordinary things when the need arose. I am fascinated at the strength some people have in the hardest of situations. Without a doubt stories like this help me daily to deal with my own challenges. Remember people don’t judge you on the problems you face, but they do form opinions about you from the attitude and strength you have facing those problems.

I was in this museum for about 15 minutes when some guy came up and asked if I wanted to meet “Gunny”?? I had no idea what the heck he was talking about, but of course I said yes. He took me into the back room where all the drugs were. Wait wrong story. When the door opened I rolled thru it and there he was. R Lee Emny. Mr Full Metal Jacket himself. I thought well this is a cool surprise. Turns out he was there as a spokesman for WD-40 to give a check to some Veteran charity. I believe it was Wounded Warrior Foundation, but not 100% on that. Point is I had no idea, but I was able to talk with him for almost an hour in that back waiting area.

He was awesome and had some great stories to share. Fun how sometimes things just happen. The world is a pretty amazing place full of incredible people. Take the time to learn from individuals outside of your circle. As we get older our circles seem to get smaller. My favorite thing in the world is talking to people from somewhere I know nothing about. I didn’t even know Estonia was a country until I met a girl from there. I think it is in Australia. Ha.

Use this day to show respect and appreciation to those that gave their lives for an idea of freedom. Learn their stories, teach those that look up to you to have respect, and mostly simply lead by example.

Get your FknBucky shirt ordered! I appreciate you all.

FknBucky

Read * Think * Live Free

22
May
21

Friday – Not the movie

By Bucktown 4 Comments
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Funny I never name blogs until after I write them, but not today. I know where I’m going with it and I’m not all that stoked about it. Problem is I feel like I have to bring it up again. And again. And again. People are so selfish that it numbs my mind sometimes. I deal with stuff everyday that you don’t even know about. Why would you?? Many of you don’t live in a city, use a wheelchair, and lets be honest you are drunk by 9 AM. That is why I love you Mom. Drunk or not she reads every blog.

I had to get my van inspected yesterday because in NC every year you have to pay $30 to have someone tell you that your vehicle is drivable. I got a guy though that helps me out. They take the dead hooker out and ask no questions. They did ask I get there at 7 AM which isn’t a real problem for me as I’m usually up early anyway. That is what I did, but as I pulled up I noticed an Auto Zone near by. Who cares about Auto Zone Bucky?? Great question. Not me anymore although last year while waiting for my van to be inspected I spent $100 at this Auto Zone killing time. I still have the armor all wipes rolling around my van that I never use. Waste of money those where. They don’t get blood out of leather. Don’t ask questions.

I noticed the car parked out front in between the blue man spots. Notice the club. Yeah cause car thieves look for that white piece of shit to joyride in. You can’t even fit your “few extra lbs” tinder date in that tiny white car. I did take a picture, but didn’t worry to much about it as it was 6:45 in the morning. Maybe some dumbass parked there as a joke or something else. I’ve done a lot of dumb things in life too, but I guarantee that I never ever parked in a blue man spot before I was in a wheelchair. I respect myself way to much to do some character killing act like that. The moment you park in a blue man illegally your character dies. I don’t make the rules, well actually I do, and once your character is dead you don’t get a redo.

Okay lets move on in the day. I go to the hospital and do some volunteer time. A young man (36 yrs old) came to Charlotte on vacation from Iowa to see a girl. He was shot on his 3rd day here and is now paralyzed. He has no insurance, his family is of very limited needs, and he has the hardest thing in the world on his plate to deal with. Alone. His family couldn’t afford to come out. I don’t know peoples history and don’t ask. My family would hitchhike (I would as well) to be there in a time of need like this, but not everyone has that relationship. I can’t imagine going thru that alone, in a foreign city, with almost no light at the end of the tunnel. He has to fly home alone next week even though he has never been on a plane before. The challenges some people are ginormous. Thank everything you can that you don’t know this level of hardship.

I finish there after a few hours and get home. Time to pay my registration. Nope can’t. The guy at the inspection place put my Ford Edge info on my paperwork and not my van. Mistakes happen. I call the place and have to drive back down. Pain the ass – YES, end of days – NOPE. I go to leave and there is FEDEX. Right on time. Multiple times a week I have to wait on FEDEX so I can leave or park. It is annoying to say the least. I get it he has a job to do, but park in front of someone else’s car. Just because I use a wheelchair doesn’t make my time less valuable. Sometimes it is really fucking hard to keep the smile many of you know me to have. He finally comes out, tells me how sorry he is, and moves his truck. I hate the “sorry” as he and I both know he is going to do it again tomorrow.

I arrive at the inspection spot around 2:20 PM. Guess who is still parked like an A-hole at Auto Zone?? I was honestly in disbelief. How can anyone park like that?? EVER. I need the extra room to open my door all the way. When this dipshit parks in between the two spots he makes them both useless. Taking one spot isn’t enough for this chubby chaser. No, he wants to block both blue man spots. People in wheelchairs are stupid and should not leave the house. We get the message tiny crap white car. I take my van into a very apologetic (I believe his apology) inspection service center and still do not mention the dead hooker they got rid of for me. Don’t ask, don’t tell. I do ask them about the white car at Auto Zone cause at this point it is clear this isn’t a one time deal. Here is the best part. It is the Auto Zone delivery vehicle. Unbelievable.

Correct paperwork in hand I finally head home to finish up my registration issues. Remember the Geico blog?? I do cause Geico sucks. Thankfully I had to pay ANOTHER $50 to North Carolina DOT. When I got my registration active before they charged me a $50 reinstatement fee. Get this. They charged me another $50 for restoration yesterday. Can’t even make this up. I called them and the lady laughed saying “Yeah they screw you”. We punish people that can’t afford things like car insurance by charging them more money. My situation wasn’t because I could not afford it, but it could have been. Poor people stay poor in America.

What a day. I have one more errand to run, but not to be outdone by FEDEX the UPS guy decides to block me in as well. “It’s only 5 minutes Bucky.” Nothing is 5 minutes. You and I both know it is 20 minutes. It is everyday. How would you react?? Would you be angry?? It is cool though, handicap people deserve to wait, and it is only 5 minutes. Don’t forget about Amazon delivery guy as well. I didn’t catch him yesterday, but I bet he did it too. I can’t dwell on it as it makes me angry all the time. It never ends.

There is a lot in the blog today. I ask that you pray for the man in the hospital. Even if you aren’t religious maybe just send some good vibes his way. He needs all the help the world can give. Take today to appreciate your life. You aren’t shot and paralyzed in a city 1,000 miles away from home with no money or true plan on how to navigate life now.

Be kind to one another. Just simply be kind to others. Not for them, but for your character. You will never regret it.

FknBucky

FknBucky shirts will be here next week. I’ll post photos and reach out to you that expressed interest before. They look great and I’m excited to get them out into the world!!

15
May
21

All about that Gummy Life

By Bucktown 1 Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
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A short blog this AM. The world is burning down all around us if you believe the panic peddlers. Thing is you can’t let that get to you. Same as the left vs right BS. It is not really a secret which way I tend to lean, but the reality is I believe the government is not the answer to every problem. We can disagree. It is okay with me if you want to be wrong. Ha. I’m old now. I used to be cool back in the day and to be honest I enjoyed it. I haven’t had a drink since New Years Eve 2020. That is almost a year and a half. It is longest I’ve gone since I was 13 I believe. Maybe even 8. I used to sip the foam off the old mans beers when I would get him one.

That is for me. In fact unless you are personally involved in my life you wouldn’t know anything about that. I quit for me and it isn’t anyone else’s business until now I suppose. I didn’t plan on sharing that 5 minutes ago, but feels right to do so. Maybe someone that reads this blog needs to know that it is okay. You can stop. I will write something up someday detailing all of this, but not today. If you or someone you know wants to talk about it with me please reach out. I will give anyone my time if they ask for it.

So gummies. You all know how much I enjoy having my nieces and nephews around. Kids in general. I just love hanging out with them and dropping little bits of wisdom on them from time to time. Funny I’ve wasted a lot of time in my life being wasted, but I never feel like time spent with kids could have been better spent some place else. Before my nephews came over a couple months ago I asked my sister what type of food or treats they enjoy so I could purchase them. You know that whole think of someone else thing I try to pound into your head. She simply said one word that changed my life. Gummies.

When I think of gummies the first thing that comes to mind is worms. Now when I was young our gummy worms doubled as fish lures. In fact I really think they might have been. We didn’t have a lot of money so lets just say I didn’t care for “gummies” all that much. Fast forward 30 years and holy smokes. The Gummy world has changed. Lifesavers makes Gummies!! Who knew?? The Trolli glow in the dark freaking sour gummy worms… Little piece of wormy heaven. What was the point of bringing up the no drinking FknBucky?? The sugar. I love sweets all of a sudden now that I don’t drink.

I had no idea. No one told me. There is a whole gummy section at the store! Everything is gummy. Only need Jack Link to come out with beef jerky flavored gummies. Think about it. Yeah that is gross. I’d probably buy them though. Yesterday I told you to eat all the ice cream and hate everyone like Chrissy Teigen. That woman is a bitch. I don’t find her attractive either. Not even kinda. No matter as now it is time to buy a bag of gummies and share with others.

Take the time to be kind to one another. We only have one life, one planet, and why spend it hating people you don’t know. Find common ground instead of drawing lines in the sand. It is easy to hate someone. It takes strength and character to love people we disagree with. Are you strong or weak?? Kind of a deep question for a blog about gummy worms huh??

I wrote this before I left for a hot yoga class this AM. Just got back from my first class since the world shut down and I feel AMAZING. Covid can suck it. I’m never stopping hot yoga again. I’ll blog about that tomorrow.

Find ways to love people you disagree with. That is true power.

FknBucky

14
May
21

Gas Morons

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
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Obviously I started this a couple days ago. Message is the same though!

Some days it is just too easy. Sorry Mom, but I see some 4 letter words flying out the fingertips today. The human race has turned into a 40 yard dash with all of the runners being a double amputee. That means they have no legs and the race is over. I have officially called it at 9:16 AM on May 13th, 2021. Done. The only race going on now is the one to the bottom of dipshit mountain. Our society has fallen into the ME ME ME mentality with no hope in sight of it ever being fixed. This is not difficult. Anyone that raced to a gas station to fill up because the TV told you there was a shortage then you are now a lifetime member of dipshit mountain. In fact the little dipshits look up to you because you are King/Queen dipshit.

I had to drive to a VA hospital to set up a Veterans wheelchair. On the way there I noticed I was pretty low on fuel wasn’t going to make it home without getting more. Obviously I panicked so I turned on CNN to learn why my hard moment was Trumps fault. Then I felt better. After my VA appointment I went to see if I was taking an Uber home or driving myself. The first station I pulled into was 100% out of gasoline. I parked my van, kept it idling to burn extra fuel, and then had a good long cry because the world inconvenienced me. Luckily the solve all my problems fairy showed up with a container of gasoline. If you believe that I hate you.

The panic pricks cause the problem. I wish we could put shock collars onto stupid people. You want to fill up a storage container with gasoline, it is America and you’re free to do so, but I should be free to taze you while my friends watch and laugh. We obviously learned nothing from the toilet paper hoarding one year ago. I can’t even blame the media. They are free to say all the skewed things they want to push their agenda. They have one don’t ever forget that. Those in power want you scared. They want you to be afraid and look to them to save you. Maybe it is a God complex or it is good for business. Follow the dollars.

I read yesterday that someone actually paid those hackers 4-5 million dollars to get control of the pipeline again. Nice. History has taught us that when someone gets away with a crime they never do it again. I’m just going to throw this out there, but if more people focused on stuff like this and less on impeaching Trump for 9 times we wouldn’t be here. I want to be clear. I don’t give a crap about Trump. If this doesn’t make you realize how close we are to a real problem then you’re an idiot. We don’t elect problem solvers. We elect people that tell us what we want to hear. That is a major issue. When shit hits the fan and it will, we are going to be at the mercy of the morons we voted into office. I see these fools on TV and I wouldn’t trust them to fix my sock drawer. By the way I don’t wear socks.

This would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. I wonder how many preteen girls Joe has to sniff to solve this problem?? We will never know because he will “get in trouble” for answering questions. Huh?? You are the leader of the free world and the most powerful man on the planet. Who are you going to be in trouble with?? I feel like that is a fair question, but nothing is fair and it will never be asked.

The truth is things can get very fucked, very fast, these days with computers running everything. Take my advice and get some storage food and water and just have it. Grocery stores will be emptied in minutes if there is a real problem and panic. Have some MRE’s in a closet along with some water. Or call me an idiot and do nothing. I’m not sharing any of mine though. Actually I probably would, but secretly I’m going to be pissed off about it while telling you it is okay. My apartment complex made me get rid of my milking cow so we will have to settle for almond milk. Takes forever to squeeze those little tits though.

I usually say to do something kind for a stranger right about here. Not today. I hate everyone. Go to the freezer, grab the ice cream container, and eat the whole thing yourself with out sharing. Welcome to the ME team. Only for today. Tomorrow you have to go back loving everyone, but for today…. Enjoy the ice cream.

FknBucky

08
May
21

Elephants and Jigsaw Puzzles

By Bucktown 1 Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
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2:59 AM. Seems to be a theme the last few months. My back decided to scream out at 2:24 and my only choice was to get up. It’s okay I was meaning to watch the SkinWalker Ranch show on History. That was sarcasm although now I want to know where all that damn water went. Guess you’ll have to watch too now. My brain wanders while I’m doing different things like taking Annie for walks. I don’t need all my brain power to throw the frisbee so it allows me to almost meditate while I throw the disc for her. I think of the “problems” I face daily and search for solutions. I like to do jigsaw puzzles and when I look for a new one I literally type “worlds hardest jigsaw puzzle” into google. The one I have now is awesome. I love to find answers. To look at things from multiple angles and learn from them. It is simply the way my brain works.

This current puzzle of just a bunch of lines drawn randomly (so it seems) looks to be impossible when a person first sees it. Well not to me, but we are about to get into that. I see a challenge. 1,000 pieces. The first thing is to get my first match or fit the first two pieces together. Boom not impossible anymore. I think well even if I only get one match per day I’ll be done in 1,000 days. When someone says that will take forever, well not anymore. 1,000 days is not forever. When I get two fits, then I think okay now it is only 500 days. This leads me to a couple metaphors that are popular. First one is how do you eat an elephant?? One bite at a time.

The other one I like a lot is imagine a giant ship like the one our friend from the last blog was stuck on. Big deal to turn that beast around. If you were to turn the Rudder only 1 degree to the right that massive ship would slowly start to turn. That ginormous ship will turn all the way around as long as you stay on the path. I use this analogy in my life. I don’t have to make a complete about face today. Just shift the rudder 1 degree and then stay with it. You can change your life with very little immediate sacrifice. Maybe tonight you only drink 5 beers instead of 6. Skip that last cigarette before bed. Ask your partner how their day was. Slow down slightly and let the car merge in front of you. You don’t have to become a different person overnight. All that you need is a willingness to try to change, and then follow thru.

I was planning to talk about a completely different angle on this whole puzzle thing, but I think I should split it up into multiple blogs. For today I think it is a perfect time to remind you that it is never to late to make a change. You don’t have to turn the ship around in one day. Just tweak the rudder a bit to the left or right. The change in direction will be slight at first, but soon you and others around you will start to see the shift. There are some people in your life that will be proud of you, some will be confused by you, and unfortunately there will be some people that want you to go back in the original direction. They don’t want you changing because it reminds them that they aren’t doing anything.

I am reminded of a time that a friend of mine after listening to “Jim Rohn – Excelling in the new millennium” decided to quit drinking for a week. A whole 7 days. For someone that drank daily the 7 days was a reasonable goal. It was insane to me how many of his friends could not handle it. They would show up with booze and say “come on” just have a couple with us. Good friends would respect his decision and help him reach a goal. He made it the week, but told me that he wouldn’t do it again. Kind of sad.

Ugh!! Twice now I have finished a blog only to have it not actually save so I have to write again. My frustration level is 1,000 right now. Oh well. Here is the point today. You can change. You can go the complete opposite direction you are currently on. it doesn’t have to be all at one time. Just make that 1 degree turn, put two pieces together, or simply start taking bites of the elephant. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life that I’m not proud of. I am proud that I paid attention and learned the lessons on these mistakes.

Don’t be afraid of the harder path. I could do easy puzzles, but I’ve already done that and so have you. Never underestimate your strength as we all have it inside us, but you have to test it, exercise it, and prove to yourself nothing is impossible. I wanted to start my own business and have. October will be 2 years. I am very proud of that. I wanted to write this blog more often and then make t-shirts. I am proud of that as well. I am in the process of starting a non-profit that will be making a film. More details on that in the future. Life is short, chase your dreams starting today, and never let anyone hold you back.

Remember to be kind. Be the person to give random smiles to strangers. A simple honest compliment can turn someone else’s day around. Most importantly you have to start whatever it is. Find two pieces that fit and boom you are on your way.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

FknBucky shirts are almost done. Here is picture of the black ones. I also have grey, light blue, and maroon shirts available. The spot with my face is actually a soft cloth for cleaning your glasses I had printed and then sewn onto the inside of the shirt. Yeah that was all my idea! 🙂 A formal announcement will be coming soon allowing you to order.

I appreciate all of you very much. Chase your dream!

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