FknBucky

Right now an oil slick the size of Rhode Island is right off the shore of the good old USA.   I have stated in previous blogs that I hate the Earth, but that is stupid and if you believed it so are you.   What really rocks is they are about to light that sucker on fire.  Maybe we could burn RI and that would help with the national debt?  Do you even know anyone from that state?  Since when did we let Islands become states anyway?

I’m truly sickened by the damage this does to wildlife and animals.  I get well, frustrated with humans, but I love animals and the picture of this sea lion is awful.  Ok now back to you stupid thin skinned, over liberated, community organizers of the world.   Ever meet a payroll?  You are still stuck on the last sentence of the last paragraph aren’t you?   This does raise a great issue and a problem.   Do we drill here for the natural resources that give Americans jobs, give Americans income, and keeps our wealth in, you guessed it America.  We do need to support the all important entitlement programs we just voted ourselves so that extra oil money is needed.   If we don’t use these resources we have to buy them somewhere or start walking to work, using candles, and yep turn off the TV.  Wasn’t bad until I took away America’s top Model huh?

So we decide the oil covered birds and killing dolphins suck.  Exxon making a profit by filling their blowhole’s with sweet black liquid money isn’t acceptable off our shore.  I do like me some oil covered codfish with a side of brown rice and green beans, but do they have to show the little bastards on CNN with the sad little eyes?  Can’t we just make that illegal and not think about the damaged caused when Billy Bob decides to toke one up next to the NO SMOKING sign?  One little puff and blamo a hole in the pipe starts spewing 42,000 barrels of oil into our precious ocean like Paris Hilton after martini night.  Paris is a slut.

So now that you have that vision in your head here is another one much better.  The sweet baby faced AK-47 carrying 13 yr old that hates the USA because his uneducated daddy told him to.  His parents are pissed off because Prince Abu Dabi has all the oil money and not sharing any of it, so they put him to war against the evil capitalist across the globe.  We keep pouring in millions of dollars for the black gold which allows Prince RagonHead afford to buy himself a white gold Mercedes.  Look it up online, it is sweet and I for one am really glad we gave him the money to buy it. 

Oh the situation gets even better.  We have corporations that pump millions and millions into the elections of the people we put in charge of making these decisions.  Do we drill or buy?  Hurry up, drill or buy?  So the fact that little sea lions are covered with sludge and can’t swim makes no difference to these money hungry, power loving, fuck nuggets at all.  Well unless they are being interviewed by the six o’clock news.  You eat it up with a spoon….  “Ah look at Senator Don’t Give a Fuck unless the public is watching, making a statement saying this is tragic and they are going to do better.  Want some more oil covered duck Timmy?” 

The King of Oil Land has 50 wives and 200 children that are supported by the fact you commute 60 miles back and forth to work everyday.  Fill it up big boy, King Suck the Earth & You dry is having trouble making alimony payments.   How is that extra room in that Yukon Soccer Mom?  Good thing you fit all seven of the snot filled, soccer playin, mommy’s little angels in that 7 mile per gallon beast because Princess Oily Ass needs a weekend at the spa and a wax job.  Ever seen middle east chicks naked???   Ewww.

Well we don’t want to give up our beloved TV time, because reading books, well fuck that idea, I forgot your kids are reading this out loud to you.  Hell if you learned to read then you might even realize how certain people are creating problems and then taking credit for solving them.  Sweet gig huh?  This is the best part though, they pay themselves enormous amounts of money to fix these “crisis” that are seemingly happening every fucking day now. 

Let me see if I can put this in really simple terms.  This is like your brother in law, for some of you this would be ME, coming into your house and taking a shit on your floor.  He is kind of welcome to come over at times, but not to do that.  Once he is finished wiping he looks at you and tells you that he’ll clean up the poop for fifty dollars.  Then you smile and grab your check book thanking him for being considerate enough to use Resolve to get the stain out.   Ha ha, this shit isn’t funny anymore. 

Did they blow up an oil rig on the south coast to create jobs?   What am I?  Glenn Beck??  No of course not that would be stupid, but doesn’t hurt that we have a huge mess to clean up.  I wonder if we’ll outsource these jobs  to Mexico?  Hell we could probably sell the oil to the Mexicans for a discount, just tell them they have to pick it up.   Ha ha that shit is funny.

I’m really at a loss on this one.  I don’t like sending all the money we have as a nation over to the middle  east to help fund wars against our own people.  I don’t like having the sad little sea lion look at me while I’m tryin write a blog about boobs.  Do we try to make it safer?  Do we call it collateral damage and move on?  What would you do?  Have you even thought about it for more than the 27 seconds it took to read this far? 

This is a real pickle and one that affects every single one of us in this country.  We are addicted to power.  Sweet, yummy, start that motor and keep it running power, but at what cost?  Do we raise taxes and charge more for the green power that isn’t even close to efficient?

One idea and I don’t want to hurt your fucking pea size thinking machine that spends more time thinking about the picture of boobs than the message.  How about we stop blowing all of our tax dollars on bullshit that doesn’t work and spend it on real stuff like green energy.  I don’t know anyone that is against green energy, everyone I know is against blowing money like a Thai hooker at happy hour.  I knew you wouldn’t get it, and yes George W. Bush was an idiot.  Nice argument.

Fknbucky

What a great morning.  I get called a; what was it?  Ah yes a whiney little sissy bitch that never gets laid.  Awesome.  Now why is it all in capitals?  Are you yelling this at me?  This fucking genius is the winner of the I have my head so far up my own ass, I can taste what I had for dinner last night award.   I’m sure he/she is one to be throwing rocks.  First of all why don’t you get a job and quit sponging off your parents?  Put the hustler down and go outside for a couple of days, and once you’re out there go spend some time in the midwest.  Now that your hanging out in IA for a couple days, run your mouth to the first person you come across, you know because you’re such a tough guy. 

While your looking for your teeth, just remember that real people are out there tired of mouthy, handout expecting, virtual badasses like yourself.  The fact my blogs are about working for the stuff you get, being a man of integrity, and just plain quit whining lets me know you don’t know how to read.  On a side note you did have a good point.  Don’t worry though the next time I have some spare change, I’ll get the $4.50 needed together and get a blowjob from your mom.  I’ll drop an extra $5 on her so you can go get yourself an edumacation. 

These people are the exact reason I get so pissed off daily, and in fact I have a good feeling I touched on a nerve in there somewhere?  Is it because you’re crosseyed?  Do you work at the post office?  Does mommy’s “friends” coming and going keep you up at night?  Or maybe you’re just a saint that spends your time helping others and I’m the asshole.

I’ve strayed away from politics because it is to hard to think about for you.  I have a new idea though.  I think that we should just give up and let everyone do what they want.  No more of these stupid rules and Congress getting in the way.  Let Obama just shove his radical agenda through and we’ll all pay higher taxes and like it.    In fact I think we should make Nancy Pelosi a fucking dictator and we will all march along doing what she wants.  Let’s just see what happens.   

I brought up the VAT at the bar on Saturday and one of my friends said “What is that?”  If you are like him and don’t know please do the world a favor and play with a toaster in the bathtub.   These programs that make you feel all warm and fuzzy at night that help the less fortunate people cost money.  Where does that money come from?  It rains money every third Thursday between six and seven AM and all you have to do is go outside and collect, but make sure you have a shirt on that says; Kill me, I’m a fucking moron.

Look all these programs cost real money and they will overly abused just like the ones before them.  47% of the population didn’t pay any taxes whatsoever this year.  Great hopefully that will be 51% next year and we’ll never have a government change.  Slowly but surely they will have to keep dipping into more pockets.    That means, well it means we are fucked, and you don’t know. 

Look up what a VAT is and then see if you want it or not, and then pay attention because  this shit is going to happen.  Putting it plainly means your Busch Light is going to cost $6.99 a 12 pack instead of $4.99 and the government keeps the two dollars.  Don’t worry though taxes aren’t going up.  Whew.  Thank Big Bang Theory for that, I almost thought they were going to raise taxes. 

So now we have the government calling for the regulation of the Wall Street companies that “caused” the financial meltdown.  Great I feel so much better.  One crook watching another doesn’t make us on Main St  any safer or better off.  Spend it all, fuck it.  This isn’t the America our grandparents fought for, but how would you know?  You’re to busy jerking off to internet porn to call and talk with someone that has been through all of this a couple of times. 

No government has ever taken advantage of the people they serve right?  Nothing in history teaches us to be wary of governments that take control of every aspect of people’s lives.  Hell if we just let them do everything we can sit back and get drunk, high, and fuck everything that moves for the rest of our lives.  It will be a sinful little paradise.   It isn’t a question of if they are out to fuck us, it is a matter of when are they going to get caught doing it.

Everytime we switch the system to take care of this person and that person, we push the bar just a little further out.  Then the next guy in line says “Hey what about me?”  We say “Oh shit gotta take care of him too”.  This will not end.  We will keep pushing that bar until we all fall down.  I don’t understand how so many people can keep going for this.  We aren’t encouraging anyone to make themselves better, we are simply saying stay a piece of shit and we’ll take care of you.

We should not set the system up for people that make mistakes. We should discourage women from getting knocked up without a father around.  Close your legs if you don’t want a baby.   What?  It is a choice.  Don’t want to be homeless?  Get off the sauce, take a shower and read some books.  You’ll get a job, contribute to society, and in the process be able to afford a nice place to live.  That is harsh Bucky.  Guess what so is life.   Just because I type what 87.3% of you are thinking doesn’t make me an asshole, it makes the rest of you pussies. 

Or we can do it your way and just keep taking from those that work hard and give it to the “unfortunate” people in the world.  Sooner or later you will have created (that’s right these programs CREATE & ENCOURAGE people to be fuck-ups) to many “unfortunates” and there will not be enough people to take from.  Then you’re fucked. 

Fknbucky

Well it is Friday and you are most likely watching the clock and thinking it sucks that your parents are also brother and sister.  That is why you have a job pumping gas at the local 7-11.    You’re inbred and I hope that static electricity sparks and you burn a brutal firey death in front of a bus of school kids.  Just kidding I hope there are two bus loads of kids watching.    If that offended you, you’re most certainly inbred or worse;  you’re a pussy. 

Boobs are great.  Small ones, big ones, all of them except the ones that look like an orange in a wet sock.  If your boobs sag please do the world a favor and get a job at the local 7-11 and wait for a school bus.  Or call Dr. Tit-Better and spend a little cash so that you no longer bruise your nipples with your knees.    Why all of the boob talk today you might be asking yourself?  Either that or you’re looking in the mirror saying “Fuck you Bucky” they don’t sag that much.   For the record though, yes they do.

 The world has changed and the way we see it has changed many different times in the last few centuries.  With all of the science available we have finally figured out some very important things that might just save your life one day.   Everyday very intelligent people are figuring out important stuff to help us understand Mother Earth.  Thanks to the country of Iran we now know that earthquakes are caused by cleavage.  Sweet, gorgeous, can’t stop staring at your chest cleavage. 

We figured out volcanoes the other day and  now earthquakes are crushing people because women want to wear  v-neck’s and show off the goodies that I’ll never get to play with.  Which is a damn shame by the way.   Now this is some serious shit and I have to back it up with some facts.  That is the fun part.  So take off your shirt and let those puppies bounce while we figure out why your funbags are going to destroy the Earth. 

So the Supreme Leader over in the toilet bowl of the world also known as IRAN said that boobs caused earthquakes.     This is going down as the most awesome thing I’ve ever heard.  To be the “supreme leader” and come out with a statement like this is proof to me they have way better drugs in Iran than we do in the USA.  Seriously what do you smoke, snort, or bang to even have that thought?  Then to have the balls to say it outloud at a press conference?  I mean Abu Dabi Dippity Dippity Do does say some dumb shit, but this has got to be the cherry on top. 

Iran is a stupid name for a country.  What did you run from?   I know what you’re thinking and yes Pamela Anderson caused the 89′ earthquake in San Francisco.  The longer we let Pam and others run around with these lowcut shirts showing us these silicon filled boner mounds, the more we put ourselves at risk.  Any day now the entire world is going to shake like Kim Kardashian’s cellulite filled ass does while she beats her pussy–cat.    

Now that we have this all important tidbit of knowledge what do the women of Iran plan to do??  Have national show your boob day on Monday and try to kill everyone with their fantastic, perky,  little tongue pillows.  God Bless these broads.   Personally I can’t think of a better way to go and have already bought my fucking plane ticket.  Fknbucky was killed by tits on 4-26-2010 is the headline that dreams are made of.  Ok maybe change the year to 2154.  Just saying I should stick around for a while.

You want to know what else is awesome?  I’m not sure you can handle it but get ready….  Captain Anti-Boob is also about to get a nuclear weapon.  This is obviously a great idea.  We should help him build the bomb.  Maybe we could send someone over to give them a faster pace on destroying the world so that we can get this shit out of the way.  I mean who doesn’t want the unstable, crazy, speedfreak holding the grenade in the room right?  Don’t worry that is all I’ll say about that because I know how much you hate to bothered with the problems of the world.

I like to motorboat huge knockers.        eh-he I just said knockers…

Boobs cause earthquakes?     The people of Iran should be outside of this dickhead’s house with torches and pitchforks getting ready to lynch him.  Just like the good old days when we had mob rule.  Nothing like a good hanging to get some attention thrown your way.  What a great picture.  Thousands of shirtless Iranian women holding torches watching this guy struggle for the last breath.  Wait…  Iranian women are hairy.  I’m taking this one back. 

Everyday Iran gets closer to having a bomb or anything for that matter is a nightmare to the rest of us.  There is nothing good that can happen from this.  They keep screaming at the top of their lungs “We are going to build a bomb and fuck some shit up”, and you cover your ears and hum the tune to Green Acres.   Green acres is place for me, la la la…..  Dippity Dippity Do is eating your children.

Boobs cause earthquakes.  Yeah and my balls cause herpes.  Ok maybe  thats not the best way to squash that.  Moving on. I hope that you ladies will join Uryuhasd Lkasdghop Ijhe (that is a name in Iran) on Monday and show as much cleavage (please post pictures) as you possibly can.  If the world shakes a bunch then the supreme leader was right, and if not at least we got to have a day of boob watching. 

Fknbucky

So this big thing exploded and screwed the world up and who cares right?   It is a volcano and because my roommate is complaining that I write about politics to much I’ve decided to blame the worlds problems on this volcano.  I bet that somewhere there are people protesting erupting volcanoes and on the other side of the street a different group of Earth loving ass clowns protesting the volcanoes right to erupt.  That’s right I hate the Earth. 

The airlines lost 2 billion dollars because of this eruption and that means we must do one thing.  Nuke the crap out of every volcano on the planet to make sure none of them erupt again.  Otherwise the airlines won’t make a profit and some people might get stranded for a week.  I know a whole week, crazy huh.  Wait for it…   MSNBC & FOX interview some genius for breaking news: 

Reporter: How does it feel to be stuck at the airport?

Genius:  This sucks.

Please give me back the last five minutes of my life, seriously why does this get on the air over and over.   It is a fucking volcano, they are supposed to erupt.  This breaking news is enough to make me want to shoot myself in the face.

Don’t worry soon they will pass a law against shooting yourself  in the head because you are too stupid to know that is bad for you.  I mean if we have a law that says you have to wear a seatbelt shouldn’t we make laws against all stupid things people do?  If you shoot yourself in the head, you will be subject to a $500 fine and/or a year in jail.  There should be a law that you can’t jump into a volcano although it would be some awesome live TV and I would watch.   What if we just let stupid people die off from now on??  Just a thought….

Volcanoes are cool and I think we could use them to our advantage.  I mean sacrificing a few virgins every once in a while might do the world some good.  Of course it would be a hassle to get them up there, but I’ll take a couple vacation days and drive them.  Take one for the team because I care about the world.

99% of you will never be affected in any way by this, but it is a headline.  Ever wonder why useless shit like this is all over the place?  Wait….  Don’t worry I’m not going to make you think today.   You know who I really blame for this damn volcano….

Jehovah witnesses.  If these freaks stayed home and stopped knocking on doors then volcanoes would not explode and make the world a safer place.  Why aren’t these people ever hot chicks in lingerie?  I would sit and listen for hours if you had a big set of knockers hanging out in my face.  Just saying maybe at the next board meeting someone should say “Hey if we want to recruit more members lets buy some tits for our door to door sales women?”

Alright we are on a roll today.    It’s great that I can join the rest of you with my head buried in the sand and my ass up in the air waiting for the next George Soros to come by and throw one in me.  Feels great doesn’t it.  Wow this is amazing you don’t even have a clue who is fucking you, in fact most of you are drunk enough on stupidity that you don’t even know you’re being fucked.  Stupid volcano.

Maybe we can cruise out there and bag up this smoke from the volcano and sell it to poor people somewhere and hope they get addicted to it.   Just give me one more hit volcano, I’ll suck your…  What does a volcano have?  Maybe a big fat hole like the one your checkbook represents. 

Tiger Woods banged 15 chicks that weren’t his wife and you can name 8 of them.  What’s your senator’s name?  Your Representative’s name?  What the fuck is your name?  Good now I’m going to hunt you down and throw you in the volcano, get drunk, and make out with the virgins.  You know what else pisses me off.  Schools. 

The schools in this country are a joke as well and yep you guessed it.  It  is because of the volcano.  When volcanoes erupt and shoot tons of pollution into the air, it messes up the membrane of the band teacher who then decides to make everyone play the trombone; which makes no sense.  Neither does this blog dipshit.  How is it being married to a blood relative by the way?

You know if we luck out by the end of the year we can have no civilization at all.  Kids are a bunch of pricks these days, parents are too lazy to do anything about it, and the guy writing this blog is a stupid crazy asshole.  One day two volcanoes are going to erupt at the same time and then we will be really screwed, but don’t say I didn’t tell you so.  You’ve been warned nuke the volcanoes before they nuke us. 

Fknbucky

Hmmm it has been a while since I’ve ranted on this blog thing that I created.  That’s right I’m taking credit for blogs.  No one else has ever thought to do this until I did.  I also discovered electricity, candy apples, and how to drive an automobile with hand controls while smoking a bowl, talking on the phone, and thinking about your mom.  Look it doesn’t matter what I say anymore people are lost, gone, sucked into a world of stupidity that they have no idea exists.  We pay attention to whatever the TV tells us to, read biased newspapers, and think that the “smart” people in Washington DC have our best interest at heart.  Its bullshit and for some reason the masses have no idea.  Why won’t they wake up?  Some of us are screaming, yet people are just deaf, immune to the sounds of reason that seemingly come from everywhere.

Generations before us had to sacrifice their lives for the freedoms that you enjoy every single day. The thousands of people that died in the revolutionary war, the civil war, WW1 & WW2, and the rest of them.  No one is even asking you to die this time.  The simple thing to do is turn off your TV and start to use your brain, and then help others do the same.  Is it easier to sit around with your thumb up your ass and talk about how cool you were in high school??  Of course it is, but that will leave one hell of a legacy.  When you are on your death bed looking back at your life will you be happy you spent years watching American Idol?  Or will think about how when America was being attacked from within you stood up and said Hell NO, I’m not going to sit by and let you flush my country down the toilet.

We could take all of the wealth and put it into a great big pot.  Every single person could get an even amount and then walk away.  Everything the same on day one.  One year later the hard working people that spend time doing something, reading, and thinking will have most of it back.  That and the porn industry because most of you are just taking a break from RedTube to read my blog.  This isn’t a hard concept.  When you don’t have any self motivation, education, or even the ability to think for yourself the world is always going to be “unfair”.  I just need a little luck people say.  Well here is a real big realization for you.  Luck is when opportunity meets preparation.  That is right, the guy/girl that spends nights reading, thinking, and working gets the “lucky” break because he/she was ready for it and most importantly smart enough to see it.

We are a generation of pussies, whiners, and beggers.  I find it sickening and I find the fact that the rest of society says its ok is even worse.  It’s ok to feel like you deserve something for nothing.  WTF??  I was born black so I should get free shit.  I was born brown so I should get free shit.  I came here illegally and I should get free shit.  How about we start teaching people that you get something when you work for it.  You think the people in caves in Afghanistan are sitting around waiting for a bailout?  Fuck no when they need something they get on a camel and go steal from the neighboring cave.  Ok that is a bad example.

We make fun of Glenn Beck, the church, the people that take the time to speak out and ask questions instead of blindly following along.  Why do the Unions have so much fucking power in this country?  Why do we have a border that is wide open when we are at war with terrorists that hate our way of life?  Ever read the book about Carmen Bin Laden who is Osama’s sister in law?  She ESCAPED certain death to save her children.   Of course you haven’t why would you take time out of the busy schedule in your life of smoking cig’s, drinking beer, and playing cards for the tenth night in a row.  I’m sure when you look back forty years from now, you will be so proud of the way you spent your time.

We have become a society of liars and I see it everyday.  We lie to our friends, our family, strangers, and the worst one ourselves.  We live beyond our means and don’t know how to stop.  Instead of trying to make a difference in someone else’s life we spend our time trying to get the quick fix and make our own lives better.  There was a time when people spent all of their time thinking how I can help someone else?  How can make someone else feel better today?  When was the last time you just went to the old folks home just to talk to someone and just listen?  When was the last time you spent time with a child that just needed someone to pay attention to them?  When was the last fucking time you did anything that wasn’t all about YOU??

You know how the old stereotype of the rich kid that gets everything he wants in life and becomes a spoiled brat and can’t do shit for himself?  Everything gets handed to him and he works for nothing so in the end he is a worthless fuck.  Well stereotypes are true and yes black people like chicken, white people can’t dance, Mexicans are all addicted to crack.  Oh yeah I forgot about Asians and small penises. Ha ha you thought I wouldn’t go there huh.  Silly fucker, I’m just getting started with this whole pissing you PC pansies off.  The world is my playground and I’m going to enjoy the rest of my life fighting your one size fits all system.  Being controlled isn’t going to happen no matter what little dream world you are living in.

Sometimes you have to take a stand to make a difference and right now I’m deciding to make mine.  I’m looking forward to fight that is coming.  Everything I’ve been through in my life has prepared to take this on and never look back.  I’ve overcome incredible challenges ranging from broken home, drug abuse, being paralyzed, and so much more.  I’m sure some of you have overcome some serious shit as well and its time that you decided to put all of the knowledge to use.  Wake up, turn off your TV and just start paying attention to what the fuck people are trying to do here.

Fknbucky

 Ok I love huge boobs, but this is a true ADVERTISEMENT for food stamps.  I’m thinking about the mindset of the Nancy Pelosi types that truly believe giving stuff to people is a great idea.  My first thought is if it was such a great idea why did it take so long to have it?  Being a white male in society it is safe to say that on every street corner someone was waiting to hand me a hundred dollar bill.  On the next corner are three minorities waiting to rob me. 

Those statements are both crazy.  As a civilized society there is a sense of accomplishment that one gets when they complete something.  Anything.  It will give you confidence and the lessons you learn will help you tackle the next and bigger thing in life making you a great person.   Taking these challenges away from people is like crippling them at birth.  No waiting in a welfare line for fifteen minutes with your seven kids from eight different fathers is NOT accomplishing something. 

Collecting welfare for generations, getting food stamps for generations, and teaching people how to take advantage of good faith systems is bullshit.  That is all it really is.  I understand the reasoning behind wanting to help and saying I have all of this so please take some, but the problem is histroy proves that shit don’t work.  Half of you didn’t make it past the first sentence and are now on the phone seeing if you qualify for food stamps huh?  How do we help the poor & stupid people in our country then Bucky?

Give them millions of dollars and walk away.  Works so well with lottery winners right?  Oh shit that would be proving my point.  How many times have you heard of someone winning ten million dollars and then being broke two years later?  This is the same concept of giving someone free food, medicine, and money for a period of time and then expecting them to know how to do it on their own later.   Um can you say fucking stupid?

I would suggest we start by letting them grow up in a safe environment and spend the money wasted on welfare, food stamps, and other systems that don’t work, on policemen.  Give them 5 cops for every teenager so they have to go to school and learn, instead of dropping out and selling drugs.  These neighborhoods aren’t plagued by the police, they are plagued by the lack of them. 

I grew up in a town where the local kid grew up to become a cop and protected the town. Of course he was a dickhead and I smoked pot with his son once, but that’s not the real point is it Craig?  As a town we would never have let a bunch of hoodlums take over.  These places need a hand in cleaning up the mess, but after that you are back on your own and you had better learn your lesson about being lazy fucking parents.

These kids grow up and become drug dealers that terrorize the town/neighborhood.  It’s true and it isn’t my beer drinking,  Hank Williams listening, country white asses fault.  I say white because I am and I won’t be bullied into feeling guilty for being born that way.  If you are yellow be proud, black be proud, brown be fucking proud, and most importantly if you are blue, learn to breathe dumbass.  Plenty of people that aren’t white take the time to RAISE their kids, read a book, and become extremely productive members of society, but they just get lucky right??

I was taught to mind my manners, work hard, and when I needed something find a way to get it, legally and by sacrificing you criminal.  If everyone in this country stopped going to work and just said give me my check then where would we be?  This is a slippery slope and we are well over the edge now.  Some tools are needed to dig in and climb back up this mother, but right now I’m real doubtful we have the balls to do it.  Most of you would rather say give me the check and wait for doomsday.  Matt Laurer from the Today show says shut up, accept it, and follow the leader and you say “Yes Sir”.  Who the fuck is that guy?  I will punch his stupid little head until it looks like something people eat in Alabama off of Hwy 56.  You get my point here?  Violence solves problems. 

I tell jokes and laugh all day long.  It’s what I do. Well most of the time, but honestly life is a playground for me and I love it.  To be around me is to understand this and I know that my politics aren’t always popular with others.  There is one thing I have going for me.  I truly care about how you came to your opinion.  I want to understand what the end goal is and right now I feel like it is to control me and I’m going to fight that until the day I’m dead, guaranteed.  I will not be controlled by anyone, ask my parents since I was fifteen or the police that I’ve been arrested by.  I’ve learn to follow civilized rules, but I won’t be controlled. 

When you wait for a check from someone they have the power over you.  You don’t tell your boss to fuck off when he ask for coffee do you?  That would be stupid.  Think bigger now.   Too fast I know, but one day you’ll get it.  I just hope it isn’t to late.  Ok so I got sidetracked there and you followed along anyway.  See how easy it is to get pushed onto another track.  One minute I’m saying we need more cops and the next sentence I’m 19 again yelling “fuck the police.” 

So how do we solve this problem?  Is it wrong to expect people to be drug free and work for welfare checks?  Is it wrong to put strict time limits on them?  Should we take federal money make neighborhoods so safe that kids carry BOOKS instead of crack rocks?  Or maybe make the parents carry BOOKS instead of crack rocks?  These drugs destroy the youth and this is the root of the problem.  Lack of education is the root of the problem.  People that consider having kids like the rest of us consider getting a raise, is a problem.  The fucking lack of personal responsibility is the root of the problem. 

We can’t count on others to always be there to solve problems and the more we rely on that the less we will be capable of handling ourselves.  This is a trend and those that have power now wish to expand it, and encourage you to accept it as the way its always been.  Not true.  There was a time when everyone worked to solve their own problems and the world didn’t end then.  You might not agree with me, but you sure as hell have to take a few moments to think about why YOU THINK I’m wrong. My job is done.

Fknbucky

Why are we all forced to deal with less than intelligent people on a daily basis?  Look I’m not college educated and I’m not the smartest man on the planet.  You might not agree with my views politically and for that you are a dipshit, but hopefully you aren’t one of the expendable people I’m about to rant on for about 1,100 words.  Try to keep the blog less that 1,200 because I know that you will need another beer, commercial will end, or a porn site will pop up and your attention is gonedy.  Yes that word is pronounced GONE-D, like a bowl that already been passed twice.  Roastin buckets son.

So some of you might have drugs involved to blame for the stupidity that the rest of us are dealing with daily.  Some of you are drunk most of the time and that too is understandable if you are a piece of shit.  Then there is the no excuse, I’m just a moron type that we are surrounded by everywhere.  Its like a disease taking over and it does spread sexually.  I’ve worked in multiple industries in my kick ass 31 years on this planet and for some reason everyone of them is not dumbshit proof.  Well one is.  The US Government, no one that is an idiot has ever made it into the Senate, House or the presidency. 

So we know about them and see them at our jobs, on the roads, out shopping, and of course at Christmas dinner because cousin Stephanie couldn’t do any better.  This is where the spreading of the disease by sex comes into the ballgame.  God gave everyone the tools, but only a few of us the knowledge.  Pretty funny joke.  So Stephanie and her life mate who happens to be Bubba’s cell mate 50% of the time then have little creatures that they like to call children.   The rest of us simply call them future felons.  Thats right when you’re to lazy to educate your kids the prison system will do it for you.  Not to mention it cost 40K a year to house a convict in California so your little angel is earning above the poverty line.  Nice job mom.

I wish we could have a season on stupid people like we do deer and stuff.  You know get a license and then hunt them down and kill them.  We could give them a fighting chance and say hey November 1st thru the 3rd is killing idiots season so you might want to stay home.  Remember it has to be real dumb people not just people you disagree with.   There is a difference. 

Maybe we could just make them drive those puke colored cars?  Who buys those anyway?  I always figure someone lost a bet or won a contest that the person giving the car away got the last laugh.  Drive this dumbass.   If you drive a puke colored car I hate you. 

Everyday at my work I see people that just don’t care and they put as much effort into fucking stuff up as it would take to just do it right, or they really are that stupid.  When I ask “why didn’t you ask someone what to do with that?” and I get the response “No one told me to”, I should be able to pull out a gun and kill you.  No questions just be like repeat that into this little recorder thingy and then BLAMO, you’re dead and the world is better.  I mean really no one told you to ask what to do with a huge box that gets delivered a fucking WEEK ago?  A week is 7 full days.  Some of you still think I’m not talking about you. 

What is it about crowds that lower the intelligence of people as well.  They might not be stupid all of the time, but you put them in a building with 300 other people and suddenly they all stare off in different direction walking in circles.  Pay attention to task at hand.  Watch where you are going and DON’T stand in the middle of a fucking walk way and ask where am I?  Get over to the side and stay out of the way for other people that do know where they are going.  It is a simple concept and comes in handy in high traffic areas like the airport, the mall, or your sister’s bedroom.   Ouch, but we all know how she is.   

If you are thinking “Am I stupid?”  I can’t answer that for you, but I have my thoughts on it, but we know I’m the quiet type so you’ll have to figure that out all by youself.  Look to ensure that no one puts a tag on, loads up old bessie, and decides to up your daily lead intake when you look at them crosseyed just follow a few simple steps.  One think before you speak.  If you have a thought and just blurt it out, your chances of becoming a landing zone for a 30-06 bullet will triple .  Two, when using an auto-mo-bile (typing slowly…)  follow the traffics signs put up all around you to help you stay alive and out of my way.  Driving to slow in the fast lane is a capital offense and you will be gunned down mercilessly.

Three, if you are a woman make sure you have enormous assests that will allow others to see that your brain is working.  This means that you should have a button up shirt on that is only half way buttoned up.  This shows immediately that your brain is working and you know how to make up for the lack of intelligence inside your head.  The rest of it I don’t care about, but if you really are smart then that is a super bonus and you are one of the three left.   Alive.  As in almost extinct. 

So today was a fun blog to allow some venting from a very frustrating world.  When all seems lost just find a way to smile.  You don’t have to agree with me on anything except the fact that laughing is awesome.  The more you do it, the better off you will be, feel, and most importantly the better you will make others feels.  So take a moment and laugh about the stupid asshole next to you.  Hell you should, you married him. 

Fknbucky

Great picture huh?  Pay attention today is important.  So now that the all wonderful healthcare bill is past and as Obama has said the world didn’t end the next day.  Sweet, I’m sure the millions without a job are stoked.  I get it you don’t care because your life is so important.  Really?  I want you to name three things you did over the weekend that don’t include “I” in the sentence.  Having trouble doing so, that would be because you’re a selfish prick, at least I admit it.

Woohoo we have this enormous entitlement program that we will all start paying for now no matter what any politician says.  It is going to come from your paycheck one way or another.  The politicians exempted themselves and their staff from having to use this new program even though without it the world was going to end.  Wait so with it the world was ending and without it the world was ending??  WTF?? If it is so great why don’t they use it also??  WHY??  Just give me a real answer.   They don’t rely on social security either by the way.  Do you even know how much your congressman get FOR LIFE after retiring?  Look it up and try not to puke.

I don’t care about what side of the aisle your on.  I’m over that shit.  The republicans had power and could have changed all of this, now the democrats have the power and could change all of this.  These politicians only worry about themselves and getting more power, money, and control.    Read a paper and pay attention to that fact our government isn’t doing anything to create jobs.   

You know why, because if people had jobs, then they would have had healthcare, security, and not needed the government rescue them.  The same assh0les that said the finiancial sector was fine (BARNEY FRANK) now say it a mess and the only way to solve it is to have the government take it over. I can’t sleep at night.  In the matter of months the United States Government has taken over healthcare, auto industry, the finiancial sector, and now they want energy. 

Oh yeah they are coming to save you from the evil power companies that charge you for power.  We will soon have legislation in front of our president giving them even more control of whatever they fucking want.  It isn’t ending.  They are going to ram everything they can down your throat and you sit back and say hand me the remote.  You fat, lazy, stupid, son of a bitch.  How do I really feel?  I don’t want to hurt your feelings so I’m going to hold back.  Oh wait they did just hire 17,000 IRS workers.  Hmmm now what would they be planning on there??  My guess is someone feels bad for the royal ass raping you are about to get so they are going to go door to door and offer reach arounds. 

How many people did you talk to this weekend about how we are being screwed over by the very people elected to REPRESENT us?  They aren’t there to control us dumbass.  They are there to do  what WE want.  If we want to run off of a cliff, they lead the fucking way while we whip them with chains, not the other way around.  They are pulling us off a cliff and making a ton of money to do so. 

These greedy bastards are selling out your childs freedom and future to make a buck.  Well at least you will win the next game of trivial pursuit “American Idol” edition.  That will make your kids proud when they are busy working 80 hours a week to pay China back the money we owe them.

Politicians create problems and then campaign against them.  If democrats and republicans don’t like deficits then why are we 14 trillion in debt and not slowing down?  If inflation and high taxes are bad then why is it happening?  You’ve been spoon fed a whole lot of bullshit your whole life and you take every last bite.  Just make the airplane noise and distract me from the fact that the spoon is full of poop!! 

Wars are bad.  Yet we fight them.  Overspending is bad, yet we continue like a teenage girl at the mall.  Please someone tell me what it will take to wake up the masses and get you to turn the tv OFF and say “wait a minute.”  I don’t want the government banging my wife.  I don’t want the government smiling at me while they steal my coins.  I don’t want 30 million ILLEGAL immigrants suddenly having the right to vote themselves more free shit.  It comes down to a real battle being fought right here in our country, right now.

You want to give all your money away?  Why is Nancy Pelosi worth millions if having money is such a bad thing?  Why do congressmen exempt themselves from laws so that they can make or keep more money?  Ever did your research on the minimum wage, Tuna, and Nancy Pelosi?  Didn’t think so.  Why should you take your eyes off of the Girls Next Door for 15 minutes to pay attention to what law congress is passing today?  No bad people are in Washington DC, you are just paranoid Bucky…..

How many times are we going to allow this to happen?  Guess who is going to prosper from the things needed to implement the healthcare bill?  That would require thought so I’ll put it this way, guess who ISN’T going to prosper.  You.  The contracts are already set up and it was only signed into law a week ago.  Still think money and power had nothing to do with it?  Right they truly care about you.   They care as much about you as you do them, and what they are doing.   Think about it that way genius. 

To busy to pay attention, well they are too busy making money and putting a system in place that will ensure they never lose their money or power.  They also happen to be trampling the constitution in the process.  You know that thing a few million people died protecting, but you are to lazy to read it  even once.  Shame huh?  Some countries (Iran for instance) people are still willing to DIE just to be heard and you can’t be bothered to speak up? 

I’m just saying where are the jobs that we were promised?  Where is that stimulus bill?  Shovel ready jobs?  Jobs, jobs, JOBS dumbass.  They don’t want you working, beginning to see it.  They want you controlled and you are.  You are now more controlled than ever and it will only get easier for them.  What number do they have to spend??  How much do they have to take from you before you say ok now I’m going to pay attention????

I’m just fed up with it and curious when the rest of you will be as well.  These leaders should treated exactly as the rest of us.  Not exempted from this and that, or tax this part but not that part.  It is our job to make sure they are honest and we suck at it. 

Fknbucky

What up?  Its Friday and I have no idea what the hell I want to talk about today.  Just feel like typing and I guess we’ll see where this goes.  I don’t create the title until after I write the blog so it is wide open right now.  Looking around the room for some inspiration I see a fish, almost naked chick, can of diet pepsi from yesterday, and my bag of nuts.  I have some berry’s in my nuts and not the dingle kind you sick bastard.

So we might as well talk about something I know nothing about.  Nutrition.  I’ll make it up as I go and you can cruise along laughing at the punchlines like the good little bitch you are.  Ha ha.  You like it rough don’t you.  I was pounding whiskey and Miller Lite’s last night watching basketball when the guy next to me was explaining how he beat cancer 7 years ago.  You know because I’m in a wheelchair I instantly want to know about whatever shit storm you’ve been through in your life.  To be honest I usually don’t care, but I nod my head and drink a bit faster hoping the alcohol will make you interesting. 

He said for a year he quit drinking, smoking, and eating shit food.  Then he decided that was stupid and started drinking, smoking, and eating bad food again.  I’ll let you be the judge of when the stupid line was crossed.  I’ve mastered the “agree with you in hopes you’ll stop talking” method of mingling in the local pub, and thought this would be the best way out of the situation I faced.  It wasn’t.  It only gave him more fuel to explain why getting wasted, smoking cigarettes and eating Jack in the Box is great idea and makes life worth living.

I asked him at one point what he thought about the healthcare bill, and he said that “healthcare is for sick people.”  I was lucky to get this nut of knowledge from my new drunken friend.   How would I have made it through today without knowing that healthcare is for sick people?  Fuck nutrition, that is boring.  Someone send me some internet pictures of a celebrity getting out of a car without panties.  That is the real point of high speed internet.

So of course when there is a discussion about something the “all important US government” is the one that has all the answers.  You as a parent are too stupid to know what is ok to give your child.  We now have towns in California looking to outlaw happy meals from fast food restraurants because the toys encourage bad eating habits.  I don’t know about you, but if I had to relive my youth without the batmobile coming with my chicken nuggets I’d cut my own throat. 

Do we really need a beauracy telling us not to eat salty, fatty, processed foods?  It is my right as an American to digest whatever the fuck I want to and if that includes snorting a line of salt, banging a shot of tequila, and then squirting lime in my eye so be it.  Not a very intelligent idea, but extremely funny and makes for some great pictures Jeff. 

It all comes down once again to the very fact of personal responsibility.  I read about a lady that only allowed her kids to drink soda because she heard once it was “more nutritious than water.  It must be because it has more ingredients” she said.  If you are going to open your legs and allow a man to impregnate you, you then have the personal responsibility to learn how to raise those kids.  I can scream this for a month into the ears of these people and when I’m done they are going to look at me crosseyed and ask me if I want to buy extra stamps.

Seriously people… the fact that we allow this is very troubling to me.  Her toothless, diabetic, soda drinking children just got healthcare that you are paying for, so its now your responsibility also.   Who is to blame for the complete stupidity of your neighbors?  We all are, we let “stupid” become ok so that we don’t hurt anyone’s feelings.  Screw your feelings, the gene pool is polluted and we are all going to become sugar addicted crack babies.  No idea what that means.

Say goodbye to your rights to do whatever you want because we have to pass laws to protect the stupid people.  Do you ever see an entire herd of gazelles rallying around the one retarded one that stepped into a hole and is about to get eaten by a pride of lions?!?  Nope, you see them run away and say good riddens to cousin Charlie that was too lazy to look where he was going.  I’m winging this so bear with me. 

My parents, as crazy as they might have been made sure we learned to eat our vegetables, drink milk or water, and excerise so we didn’t become fatasses.  It is not the schools fault that little Timmy brings chocolate cake to school for lunch and his parents let him wash it down with a juicy juice.  Then little Timmy grows up and bangs lazy Sarah who never heard of birth control and now we have little Timrah’s sitting around eating crap food.  This isn’t rocket science, be responsible for yourself and leave me alone.  If you can’t figure out how to ration what you put into your body, then you pay the consequences and deal with it. 

Not much to learn today. Just be careful who you sit next to while drinking beer watching basketball.  Oh and if you meet a fat chick named Sarah, run like hell.

Fknbucky

Alright enough of the sappy shit that is starting to bore the hell out of everyone already.  Some of you are addicts waiting for the next fix of anger, rage, and all out dislike of every living thing on the planet.  Everything but Jessica Alba of course.  With so much anger used up on the government where could I possilbly find a way or topic to exert more?  What is that old saying?  A picture is worth a thousand words.

Today I have a whole new area to jump into like a junior high kid jumping off of a an old railroad bridge into wolf creek that is filled with pesticides, logs, and other stupid junior high kids.  Go Northern IA.  Kicking some tournament ass, screw you Kansas you sorry bunch of overrated pansies.  Stupid flat state anyway.  Ok like I was saying we are going to touch on something that is very important, yet in no way will I be able to push all of the anger out in one blog.

Where can we go that we haven’t gone already you might ask?  Captain America is behaving, healthcare is passed, Nancy Pelosi is still sucking blood, so what could it be?  We have a lot of things to go over before we are done going there, but on this particular topic I’ll tell you when it hits me the hardest.  Before I start my work day and immediately afterwards.  It is like a brick of stupidity that smashes into my forehead every day.  Now who would throw this brick of stupidity?  Great question.

Every person that picks up a set of keys, walks out the door, and gets into an automobile with the intention of driving it.  Touching a steering wheel will in fact turn 99% of the people in the world into a fucking dipshit, sorry Mom that is only term I can truthfully use.  In Southern CA we have freeways with at least 4 lanes of traffic on each side, yep four lanes, and the reason is because we have a lot of people driving.  It can be 8 lanes on each side, and unless it is late or early depending on which bar you are leaving, the road will be filled with cars.  Most of the time the traffic flows decently and you can travel 75 mph with relative ease.

During certain times of the day the traffic will back up and these are the times when you get to driving at every level.  Good driving, bad driving, stupid driving, and the worst of all women driving.  The last one just speaks for itself.  Allowing this was truly the worst mistake in American history, well sidelined with allowing them to vote, think, and of course speak their opinions.  If you are a woman and angered by my comments go burn your bra, get a sense of humor, and then go something yourself.

 I remember reading about people being shot over road rage incidents in California while I resided in Colorado.  I thought what kind of a raging lunatic kills someone over traffic.  Now that I live here I understand why I don’t carry a loaded firearm in my car.  If I did my name would be at the beginning of that news article.  Something like, Fknbucky kills eight and was recorded saying “I just need more bullets, I can get them all” at the scene.  There are a lot of reasons for people sucking this much and I’m going to break a few of them down for you.

First of all you have illegal immigrants that have no clue what our driving laws are, what road our signs mean, or the fact that green means go you dumb tan bastard.  We have stop lights here at the end of an onramp that allows two (2) cars at a time to enter the freeway.  When there is a line 40 cars long it really pisses the guy at the end off when 1/2 of the people in front of him only go one car at a time.  Some of you have been there and this is a perfect reason to grab the handle and possibly cock the hammer, but pulling the trigger…..  We aren’t there quite yet.  It gets better.

So once you make it through the bullshit line that takes 10 minutes instead of 5 because of reasons above we move on to the merge onto the freeway.   Actaully “merging” is what our grandparents called it.  Now it is known as you will get in this lane over my dead body.   For some reason the soccer mom with 6 kids in the minivan would rather risk killing everyone on the road than slowing for a split second and allowing a car to “merge” in front of her.  I know right who the hell am I?  I mean 4 lanes of traffic and another car dare to come onto it.  That’s just crazy. 

Luckily our grandparents had some great ideas and put weapons on our cars for these short daily wars.  One weapon used in this war is the all important on/off switch usually located on the left of the steering column.  That sweet little devil controls the all important blinker.  What is a blinker?  Ha ha, the fact that 37.8% of you have no idea means I’m pulling the trigger when I see you next time.   If you don’t slow down and let me in we both come to a point in a   /\   situation and everyone behind us stops and traffic is stuck that much more. 

Quick review women driving was a bad decision.  Illegals immigrants need to learn to read road signs, and blinkers are real and not just there to give tripping high school kids something to look at.  Although they do look pretty cool after 3-4 tabs.  Like I said early on, the anger that swells while driving can never be relayed in a 1200 word blog, but come take a ride with me and I’ll show you.  One last thought before I leave you to think is that guy I just cut off going to follow me home, nail my front door shut, and then drink beer with my neighbors while they burn my house down??

Oh yeah its time to call you out Mr. weave in and out of traffic guy.  You ride my ass so close I can see the snot running out of your cocaine filled nostrils.  Then you pass me so you can cut me off, and not surprisingly take the next exit after cutting across all six lanes of traffic.  This would make sense if you were a doctor and someone’s life depended on it, but considering you drive a1992 toyota corolla, I’m going to guess that isn’t true. 

In fact going out on a limb here, I’m thinking the only place your going is straight to hell when I pump six .357 magnums into your fat stupid head for ruining my morning commute.  The amount of crappy driving is unmeasurable and most likely you are one of idiots out there making me inch closer to an all out meltdown.  It isn’t a tough concept, and in fact just pay attention, allow others to use the road, and if you’re hot make sure you flash 2002 Silver Honda Accords every chance you get.

Fknbucky