FknBucky

Do you know what cops think when they pull over white people?  Me either, it doesn’t happen often enough. 

So today I’m sitting here, imagine that, and thinking about what else in my immediate world needs to be expressed in written form so that others can read it and say “I’m pretty sure this fucker is crazy, but he might have a point.”  The thing that comes to mind right now is the fact that most of you haven’t read a book in 2010.  Fuck most of you haven’t read a book in the 2000’s.  Granted when I say most of you I realize that I’m talking to the millions of people that will start reading my blogs religiously, thanks.  

There are twenty magazines at the supermarket that explain which Hollywood star has the clap this week, and none about how Nancy Pelosi had a $100,000 bar tab last year on your tax dollars.  That’s right genius, this botox millionaire spent over 100K on booze, flying around the world last year on your dime.  Don’t give a shit??  Remember… that is only the booze she drank in the private airplane she was flying around in.  The plane cost well over 2 million dollars to operate, and you paid for that as well.  I was drunk from the age of 15-22 and I’m PRETTY sure I didn’t spend that much on alcohol.  

That is more money than everyone reading this blog made last year put together.  WTF?  We are that stupid that we let it happen and it is still happening because we aren’t any smarter today than yesterday.    Thankfully though in the last week we learned that Jessica Simpson is a great fuck, “The Situation” is being paid to bang ugly chicks in New Jersey, and of course Tiger Woods is a cheating prick.   Maybe “The Situation” and Tiger can party together and we will really go into a frenzy.  Imagine how much press that would get!!! 

Meanwhile Congress could be having orgies on Air Force One with a billy goat chaperone and no one would give a fuck.  I tend to read too much politics and start plotting revolutions in my sleep, and it sometimes causes me to dream about Nancy wearing a tight little..  wait someone is Mr. Pelosi, that is truly hell on Earth.   What I want to say is don’t leave all the thinking to other people; who knows if they are thinking for you.  I’m a crazy asshole. 

These politicians right now are out of control with your money.  The party has been going on for decades and we the taxpayers are paying for it.  I’ve done every drug on the planet and let me tell you if I had the money I would have never stopped.  I’d be knee deep in my own shit, in a crack house, trying to get a washed-up playmate to blow me.  Thank God that isn’t what worked out.   NOTHING will change until we MAKE them change.  

HOPE & CHANGE is bullshit.  Who hopes things will change?  I HOPE Carmen Electra shows up at my door with Jessica Alba and they say they want a crippled funny man to oil them down for a couple a years.  Think it will happen… I mean I’m really really HOPING here! 

Look you don’t say we are going to control spending and lower the national debt, but at the same time grow the federal government to over 2 million employees.  It was 1.7 million a year ago.  Going to be 2.4 million in a year, but yet we are lowering our spending?   HOW?  Oh yeah this is without the new government healthcare workers that are stock piling sand paper condoms as I type this.  

We need to control our own future and stop letting the media tell you everything is fine.  Pay attention to anything but the things that matter is what the headlines really say.  I’m screaming here.  THESE PEOPLE, ALL OF THEM, ARE FUCKING YOU BONE DRY, and you’re telling me you don’t have time to read about it a little??  

“Dancing With The Stars or DWTS is on tonight Bucky.  I can’t miss… oh my Gosh can you believe that Evander”… WHO ACTUALLY CARES?  I don’t watch DWTS, that is stupid, but have you seen the train wreck of Jersey Shore?  No, but I’ve seen the train wreck of our fucking country; it’s only a few years away and it’s speeding at us faster than Tila Tequila becoming the next dead D-List celebrity on the front of People magazine.  

Don’t give up your vices completely. I’m just saying don’t get caught with your thumb up your ass.  It’s embarrassing and your Grandma doesn’t ever sound like she means it when she says “she loves you” after that.  Right now we are 12+ TRILLION dollars in debt as a country.  As the richest country on earth, we are a fraud.  We are the Jones and living way beyond our means and the only way its going to stop is some serious changes made by people that know how to do it.  

Guess what it is?  Us!  The normal folks (ok I’m not exactly normal, but you know what I mean).  We know how it feels to be crushed by credit card debt, we know how to budget so the family has food and we know how to party when things are good.  Right now things aren’t good and it’s time to make some changes, buckle down, and fix the broken shit.   Then we party. 

I don’t care if you’re a republican, democrat, or a crazy asshole.  What I do care about is that we all get together and realize that the government isn’t going to solve this.  We are.  Why would you look to the same people that caused a problem to solve it?  That is stupid. 

Now sit down and relax.  That was more reading than you’re used to.

What do women and dog poop have in common??  They are both easier to pick up the older they get.  ha ha, that has nothing to with this blog unless Kevin Smith likes to eat poop.  He might, he is really fat.  So here we are another day with people making headlines about stuff that makes no real difference to my life or yours, but because we like to point and laugh at people we’ll be going there. 

Kevin Smith made some great movies like Clerks, Clerks 2, Jay and Silent Bob, the one when that one hot chick was a lezbo and every guy in the world wanted to bang her.  That should have won an oscar or something important, but it looks like all he got was a bag of cheetos, some ice cream, and a big scoop of American fatass to top it off.  The guy actually is now so large that he isn’t allowed to fly in just one seat on the airplane which I might add he is not alone.

So I’m reading this article about how Kevin Smith feels embarrassed and decides he should “tweet” about how awful Southwest is for putting him through this situation.  

“Dear @SouthwestAir — I know I’m fat, but was [the captain] really justified in throwing me off a flight for which I was already seated?”

“So, @SouthwestAir, go f*** yourself. I broke no regulation, offered no “safety risk” (what, was I gonna roll on a fellow passenger?)”

  He is angry at Southwest Airlines because he can’t put down a fucking jelly donut??  What sense does that make?  Take some responsibility for yourself.  This is exactly what is wrong in the world.  In fact people EXPECT him to be angry and they ACCEPT it.  When did we stop making fun of the fat kid and start saying its ok, we’ll all change our lives so you can continue not dealing with your issues and eat your problems away.  This is some dumb shit and your PC ass is sitting back and letting it happen.  Bunch of pussies.

He usually buys two seats because he knows that he is to fat to fit into one.  Instead he decides to fly on an earlier flight and just sits down and acts like nothing is happening.  When the flight attendants see that he is way to big it is their JOB to ask him to get off the plane.  That’s not ackward for them at all.  In fact screw them, its only wrong if you get caught right…. WRONG ASSHOLE.

It is wrong all the time.  He knows better and instead of saying oh sorry and understanding that it is NO ONE’s fault but his own, that his fat ass can’t fit in one seat.  We are supposed to feel sorry for this fat fuck?  I work out, I eat healthy, and I have no sympathy for anyone that has no self control.  Hey this is America so you are free to be as fat as your body will allow you to be.  I respect that.   But in America I’m also free to say look at that fat fucking piece of shit.***  It works both ways. 

****Note* Not everyone that is overweight is a piece of shit.  This is a blog to make people laugh.  If you can’t laugh at yourself for letting yourself go, then you are screwed.  First step is admitting it might be time to cut some calories. Second step is to stop blaming the dickhead that wrote the mean blog for all your problems.  The third step is to get in shape and get a boob job.  If you’re a guy, just stay fat, less competition for the rest of us.****

Personally I don’t want to sit next to someone that spills into my seat.  Who are you?  I don’t know you, I don’t want you in my space, and I certainly don’t give a fuck why you’re that fat.  Why when you are twice as big as other people would you think that you can sneak onto a FUCKING airplane and not be noticed?  This is just stupid.  I compare it to Cartmen sneaking across the stage naked because he was an invisible ninja.  If you know what I’m talking about that was funny and a cartoon.  This is real life and pretty damn stupid. 

So you go Kevin Smith.  Eat all you want.  Be as lazy as you want.  Piss and moan that others don’t go out of there way to make you feel good about yourself.  These are all freedoms afforded you by millions of brave men and women that came generations before you.  But please don’t think for a second I or anyone else that still has a set of balls gives a fuck.

I think everyone in the US should pick a time, leave work, and run down to your local post office.  Once you are there grab the cross eyed asshole that hates his job, sucks at his job, and kick the crap out of him.  This is the guy that makes everyone that comes in contact with him ponder one question.  How bad is a life term in prison really?  We’ve all had the same thought.  I could kill this piece of shit right now with my bare hands and then go get a double double with strawberry shake.  Everyone thinks like that right??  Well fuck you then.  Pussy.

I had the displeasure of dropping some packages off for my roommate at the post office down the street.  First I went to the wrong one at which time, the lady was a complete bitch and kept commenting on how I was early.  I told her that was the point.  Then I roll my unhappy ass back to  my car and drive the six blocks to the right post office.  I have my dog, I’m singing with the birds, and having a gay old time.  I enter the post office with a smile on my face and wait for my turn to talk with the fat balding douchebag that is looking at me and away from me at the same time.  How in the fuck does that happen?  We should have cut this guy from the herd long ago and fed him to some lions, but instead we give him a job, pay him way to much, with full benefits, and a super sweet retirement plan.   So after we pay him for years to NOT help us, we pay to retire him??  WTF??? 

So you might be asking yourself “Bucky why do you get so worked up over one piece of shit postal worker?”  If you did ask yourself that I want you die with him.  How does this asshole still have a job?  When you are that pissed at work and have no concept of customer service even though you fucking job is to help the people that are there who also happen to be paying your OVERPAID salary.  Wait what was I saying.  Fuck this guy. 

So someone please explain to me how  ruining my day makes up for the fact you work at a post office, have no friends, and you are 3rd in line to buy one of those new porn robots so you can fuck something besides the customers that need your help.  Anyone that has used the post office knows exactly what I’m talking about.  It is slow, expensive, and just plain stupid.  Ok you want some details this is what went down.

A package was dropped off after hours that needed to go out the next day.  It was mistakenly dropped off because it was going international and there was no postage on this package, like a letter with no stamp.  Mind you it is a big package, about the size of a backpack.  Yes ladies I said big package.   So I get to the Post Office first thing in the morning and ask for the package so I can pay the postage and get package out.  This guy rolls his eyes (not easy to do when you are cross eyed) and acts like I just asked him to perform open heart surgery.  Finding a large package in a small drop off box isn’t the hardest task on Earth.   What is the hardest task on Earth you might ask?  Pretending a little part of you wasn’t like “serves the bitch right” when Snookie got punched out. 

He looked for a total of 8 seconds and then told me it went out.  Couldn’t help me.   I explain that it is very important, but apparently his ears are cross eyed as well and he can’t hear the words that are coming out of my mouth.  I know ears can’t be cross eyed but maybe if I punch you the face a few times you will understand what I mean. 

I then go out and get the rest of the packages that need postage and wait in line.  The same worthless should have been a cumstain postal worker has to ask me fifty questions about the new packages that have nothing to with shit.  Fuck.  Fuck the post office. I mean really out of millions of little sperms this one made it through??  His father had no business reproducing.  Who would have thought 45 years ago some drunken slut’s mistake is my Saturday morning nightmare. 

Finally I get up to the counter and this is where I find the sweetest woman on Earth.  Shame she is stuck in the shitpile we call government run mail system  Oh yeah I went there and if you have any kind of intelligence you will see where this is going.  It took this lovely lady about 22 seconds to find the package and set it up for mailing that same day. 

Within any private company the visually impaired pole smoker that REFUSED to even think about helping me would have been fired on the spot.  A new employee that is thankful to have a job in a recession with 10+% unemployment would be brought in and everyone would be happy.  Ever notice how this scenario is played out everytime you say renew your driver’s license?  Oh yeah long lines, miserable employees, crap service, and hundreds of dissatisfied customers are the results of government taking control of anything.

So lets review.  The Post Office is a piece of shit.  Worthless people are guaranteed employment there and make more money than most other people just by showing up and telling everyone to go fuck themselves for eight hours a day.  This is also a great description of going to the DMV which I might add is mostly illegal immigrants clogging up the system.  That is another blog that will coming soon. 

And now because some fancy talking man tells you that the only way to save healthcare is to allow the government to run it??  What person that even remotely considers themselves to be intelligent believes this?  It will be a disaster.  Every cross eyed dipshit in America is hoping this will happen so they can get a well paying job that they completely suck at and will never be fired no matter how many times they bend you over and ass rape you with a sand paper condom. Hurts huh. 

Use your own mind and look at what has happened to every other government run anything.  It completely sucks.  Why on Earth would you want your HEALTH run by this guy, pictured above?  Am I the only person that understands this is what will happen?  Of course they won’t tell this to you, but the post office, the DMV, the Court system, any government run operation is mostly miserable people that hate their jobs.

Why do they hate their jobs and take it out on you the sucker, I mean customer, or wait taxpayer that actually pays them to kick you in the nuts every time you need something?  I’m guessing because the government is a shitty boss and turns normally nice people into monsters.   We should be able to fire these people on the spot.  If you are essentially working for me because my taxes pay the salary then I should be able to grab your fat pudgy neck and squeeze until my hand starts to cramp up.  That is when I will let the next person in line take over. 

So watch your calendar and get ready for kill the local post office asshole day.  It will be sometime in April most likely.

FknBucky

A quick look into the mind of a mad man or a madman?   A little space can make a huge difference so stop standing on my dick.   I get an email from a friend that enjoys seeing how pissed off I can get in a short amount of time.  Earlier today I went from busting a nut on 18 yr old school girl to wanting to kill some baby kittens in about 14 seconds.  I know I said baby kittens so don’t waste your time commenting on how stupid that is.  There are plenty of other stupid points I’m about to get to. 

So what on Earth could ruin a man’s mood this quickly that doesn’t have a ring on its finger?  How about the fact that Captain frickin America is now a progressive liberal that is posing as a black IRS agent to infiltrate the Tea Bag Gang.  WTF is right……    Black people can’t count. 

Now that I’ve offended women, children, kittens, and black people we can get on to the point.  Nothing about me or anything I say will be PC in any way.  In fact it will be the opposite.  Don’t judge me unless you are ready to bare all and allow me to judge you.   For the rest of you I must warn I sincerely don’t give a fuck.   Anyhoo  lets finish this game. 

I don’t read comics and hopefully I won’t have any booger eating, non-pussy getting, pimple popping children that do, but the fact that a character known for fighting nazi’s and beating up flag burners during Vietnam is now fighting the evil Tea Bag Protesters is as bad as this blog.  How can CAPTAIN AMERICA be against civil, peaceful, and working class people gathering to protest their government spending enough money to buy world twice?  And not getting a damn thing in return might I mention?

With a name like Captain America shouldn’t he bring people together instead of making the gap between us even larger?  I think Capt. A and Barrack Hussein Obama are using the same playbook.    Do you think Captian America could have bashed people that were for less government, lower taxes, and keeping our individual freedoms 30 yrs ago?  And after getting caught they say it wasn’t my fault??  At least have the balls to own up to it. 

The point of America is we have the freedom to work and do for ourselves.  I thought everyone in the world wanted to come here for these reasons.  When is the last time you heard someone say “If I could only get to Kazakhstan everything will be ok”.   NEVER.

Now we have Captain America’s sidekick, Blacky (no I don’t care what his real name is) talking about trying to “infiltrate” the racist crazy white folk gathering; so he can do WHAT??  You know just maybe if he did infiltrate them he would find out that he is welcome and that most of the people in the Tea Party are just tired of the “Elites” in general.   

Which one of the three people still reading this blog are saying who cares?  If it’s you go outside and jump in front of a bus, it is now to late for you.  The rest of you start paying attention because it is only going to get worse.  We aren’t going to spend our way out of debt.  Government is NOT there to solve your problems.  You are there to solve YOUR problems. 

I’m tired of being polite and not hurting anyone’s feelings.  Life is tough sometimes and the rest of the world is starting to walk all over us.  Just wanting to blend in is for pansies and I say FUCK that.  Stop tiptoeing around;  instead stand up and yell “Hey look at me”!!   Then when everyone is watching take a shit on your neighbor’s car.  Ha ha anyone that does that is just awesome.

I feel better now. 

FknBucky

If you want to know what I think about something ask me.  I always need ideas to blog about.   I’m new to this, but I plan to write some really mean things about children, women, minorities, cripples, animals, fish, the chicks I dated in high school, and other stuff that is awesome.