Posts Tagged ‘accident

01
Apr
22

20

By Bucktown 3 Comments
Categories: Uncategorized
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Writing. I haven’t done enough as of late. Not sure why as I’ve had plenty to say. That could be part of it. Sometimes I’d rather just keep my opinions to myself and save myself from the drama of having people who barely know me tell me how wrong I am. I know thousands of people from all over the world. It was life goal of mine to meet everyone on the planet. I’ve fallen short, but not from lack of effort. Ready for the blow your mind moment?? Only a handful of people on Earth truly know me. You’ve heard about me, had a beer or ten with me, got a couple pics with me, but none of those things mean you know me.

Do you know what today is??? I can never forget. I think about it every single day. My own personal hell that will never stop. I replay it over and over and over. I have no pause button. No redo. I can’t simply turn it off or ignore it. You look at me with pity only because deep down you know that you could never be strong enough to be me. You think about the easy way out. How you would quit before the game even starts. Anyone can train their body, lift lots of weights, do two hours of cardio, take drugs for faster and bigger gains, but true strength is in ones mind. I see past the muscles. I’ve already won before we start because I know the truth. Your mind is weak and you will give up when anything becomes difficult. I welcome all challengers. Prove me wrong.

What is the point today Bucky?? If you truly know me you wouldn’t ask. The past is just that. Passed. Gone. Never coming back. So why do you dwell on it?? Some of you even attempt to live in it. Refusing to let go. Like a dog, I can smell your fear and self doubt. You can never be great because you’re too scared to fail, to fall, to look foolish, to have the spotlight on you, and when your time comes you will die. Some will cry, some will say ”Oh that’s too bad” or ”He/She was a good person”, but after a few days it will be like you were never here or there. Don’t blame me for saying it, blame yourself for allowing it to happen.

20 years. Long time. Long time for an individual, but barely a drop in the bucket of life. I wrecked that motorcycle 20 years ago today. My spinal cord crushed. My body broken forever. Never to walk again without assistance. A life sentence. No parole, no probation, no time off for good behavior. Just pain. Just hardship. The fake smiles when you say ”You’re so strong” that translates into Thank God it isn’t me, I would kill myself.” Don’t feel bad. I’ve thought about that path many of times. No more falling out of my chair, no more spasms, no more accidents, no more pain, and no more stress when one takes the easy way out.

No more parties, no more visits with my nieces and nephews, no more hugs, no more challenges to overcome, no more puzzles to finish, no more happy, no more surprises, no more frisbee with the pup, no more anything. Just whatever happens after Earth. I have thoughts on the bad, but I let my mind dwell on the good. I overcome the challenges to enjoy the laughter, the good times, the memories we make, and do the best I can everyday to help others enjoy their short time here. To leave the party we call life early is just stupid. At 43 it is just getting good. The music is LOUD, turned up to 11. Pick your poison.

Tupac – California Love https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omfz62qu_Bc

Pantera – F&#King hostile https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QcMhOFAVzE

Oasis – Champagne Supernova https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6cyIG0CRQg

Spooks – Things I’ve seen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AJ7W-HRa8g

I’m Bucky. If you know me, you know I don’t leave early, heck I don’t show up early. I show up fashionably late with a handle in each hand. A pack of pretty ladies behind me ready to make this night memorable. I pour shots and say ”Who is ready for the hot tub??” Whats that?? Bathing suits are for children. No memory worth having ever started with let me get my suit on. My smile is contagious. My dimples say ”this is a good idea” and thank God neither of those were damaged in that accident.

I could have died that day. Instead I got 20 bonus years that I have not wasted. Wake up. Stop quitting. Be spontaneous. Throw the middle finger up to those who wish to control you. You are not a D or an R. Liberal or Conservative. You’re a person. Capable of having fun, capable of helping others have fun, and hopefully capable of thinking for yourself. Hug your enemy. Pour shots for people that annoy you. Stop being a buzzkill. Stop saying ”you’re so strong” and simply cheers me when I say ”Here is to the next 20!!!”

I love life. It is hard. It sucks sometimes. It is beautiful. It is amazing. Most importantly it will be exactly as you want it to be. Want an adventurous life?? Be adventurous. Want a good life?? Be good to yourself and others. Want a crap life?? Fill your head with self doubt and treat those around you horribly. I promise you’ll have all the crap you can handle.

Don’t be weak in your mind. Be kind to everyone. Learn to enjoy failure, but learn from each time. Turn the music UP. Stay up late once in a while. Most importantly remember you are never too old to flip the bird to those that try to control you.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

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31
May
21

The Families

By Bucktown 2 Comments
Categories: Uncategorized
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Army SPC Jeremiah Collins, says goodbye to his wife Angela (R) and daughters Skkye Collins (L) and Shyla Collins (2-R)

Yesterday I talked about respecting those that gave up everything for the idea of freedom. You can disagree with anything you want in America because you are free to do so. You don’t have to blindly agree with everything our government does, has done, or will do in the future. In fact it is your job as a citizen to question them, all of them, Donald Trump and Joe Biden, just because your “guy” or “gal” is in charge doesn’t mean they get a free pass to do whatever they want. I read a lot. I’ve read so many stories about incredibly brave men and women from all kinds of backgrounds that I know strength has nothing to do with race, gender, age, sexuality, or physical ability. I can’t do a push up, but I’m the strongest person you might ever meet. Or not.

To call me strong is easy. You see a wheelchair, think about how much it must suck, how sad or depressed you would be if it happened to you, and then label me as strong because I have a smile on my face. That isn’t strength, it is survival. I only have so many days left on Earth. It could be 1 more day or 10,000 more days, but I’m not going to waste them feeling sorry for myself about things I can’t change. Want to know real strength?? Go talk with the mother of 3 young children who’s husband is in harms way serving our country 6,494 miles from home. Yes I googled the distance from Charlotte, NC to Fallujah, Iraq. Keeping it real on FknBucky.

The families of our heroes need to be remembered on this Memorial Day as well. A friend of mine growing up lost her brother who was serving the USA when he was killed in a helicopter accident. I don’t know if she reads this blog or not, but I dedicate today’s blog to her brother and their family. His name is John Kaye and he was a hero. I bring it up to let her know a lot of people acknowledge the huge sacrifice he made to make sure the rest of us are safe and free. I didn’t know him well on a personal level, but I vow to never forget his name or sacrifice.

It is easy to forget the real reason for Memorial Day, but the families left behind to try and make sense of it all don’t have the luxury to forget. Commenting on a Meme in between beers 2 and 3 is not honoring those that gave their life in defense of our country. You don’t have to agree with the war, the military, or any of it, but you must understand these individuals believed in America enough to die for it. The sadness and the loss never really go away. It is impossible to understand the pain associated with loss like that unless you’ve been through it. We all hope you don’t experience that kind of grief.

Memorial Day is more than brats on a grill. More than having your first beer at 9 AM. It is important to take a few minutes, look around your life, and appreciate all that you have. Regardless of the hardships you have going on in your life, you are still here with the opportunity to change your life. The opportunity to read a book, start a business, have a family, or anything else you would like to do. Those that gave up their lives so we could be free don’t have the opportunity to do any of those things. Show your respect by living a full life. Chase your dreams. Hold those you love and tell them you love them often.

I’m very sorry that John Kaye lost his life serving our country. He was way too young and I know how much his sister and family loved him. He is missed by many and never forgotten. So remember him today, remember all of our fallen heroes, and don’t forget to honor the families that have lost their brother, son, Uncle, sister, daughter, or Aunt. Those labels came long before we called men like John a soldier, a Marine, a sailor, or any of the other terms used to describe service members.

I try to write about things that are meaningful and tell some jokes along the way. With a country so divided I hope that regardless of where you fall left or right you can take a moment to remember a hero that didn’t give his life to democrats or republicans. He gave his life for Americans. The least you can do is spend the day being just that. An American. An American that can see all the good we do together as a country. You have 364 other days to hate and trash the USA. Just for today drink your beers, eat the brats, and embrace the idea of freedom so many brave men and women died for.

FknBucky

Read * Think * Live Free

12
Mar
21

Mom Whore

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
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My Mom never misses a day of reading this blog. Sorry Mom, but I am out there defending your honor EVERY DAY!

It is Friday or maybe it isn’t. I don’t know what day you’ll read this. I hope you do read it though. I can be wrong at times and honestly I’m okay with that. If you’re never incorrect or on the wrong side of things you’re not trying enough. Failing or being wrong as just as important to being a good human as succeeding and being correct. Many times it is more important. Success is easy to accept. Defeat forces us back to the drawing board to analyze and then retry based on the lessons learned.

I drive a lot in my personal life and in my professional life. I see a lot of bad driving. Obviously it is always women doing the bad driving. Who’s idea was it to let women drive again??? Next we are going to let them vote. Oh man there is no coming back from that. See what I mean about mistakes??? Nobody gets it perfect the first time around, but we can learn and evolve as humans accepting we are incorrect about a certain way of thinking and then take steps to fix it. You can make new laws, but I will always believe you need to change a persons heart to measure true progress.

Back to the crap driving I see daily. I watch all the time people that refuse to let someone merge in front of them. It is true insanity. Blinkers used to mean you were going to travel from the lane you are currently in to the lane next to you. They do not mean this anymore. Now when you turn your blinker on you are calling the mother of the driver next to you a whore. I didn’t get that memo either. I had to figure it out. Now once the insult is fired off that driver is required to speed up not slow down so that you can not get into their lane. If they successfully block you from merging into that lane their mother is not a whore. Who knew?? Nobody tells you at the DMV either. I had to figure this whole system out on my own.

There is the flip back Mom whore maneuver that should not be attempted by a rookie. No this takes years of practice. This happens when the driver attempting the merge flips on blinker and starts the process. To perfectly execute this move you must still be one or more car links behind merging car. Once the blinker is engaged you must act quickly. First thing you do is floor it. Remember your mother was just called a whore by that blinker using bastard. While closing the gap and hopefully almost causing an accident (this means you’re doing it correctly) you start to lay on your horn. Very important to simply hold it down. If you only toot toot that is actually accepting the insult on your Mom. I know some of your Moms. You may want to practice the toot toot.

Now that your engine is red lining, your horn is blaring, you are ready for reverse Mom whore. This is you screaming at that other car while flailing your arms about to let them know you are legit crazy. They have no choice, but to turn that darn blinker off, and wait to insult someone else’s mother. Well done. Not only did you block the insult, but you threw it back over onto them. Sometimes this driver will actually toot toot to you accepting their Mother’s fate. The extra cherry on top is they miss their exit and have to drive an extra 7 miles. Don’t you worry about it though you’re on your way to a save the planet meeting addressing ways to cut back on needless use of fossil fuels. Go figure that one out.

Driving is true reflection of your inside character I believe. It is anonymous as nobody knows who you are unless your in a small town so you can do what ever you want with out having to answer for it. If you are a jerk it will show in the way you drive. If you don’t allow cars to merge in front of you for whatever reason you’re a Dick. Slow down and let the person in. I’m quite certain no one likes you and won’t mind if you are a few minutes late. They would probably rather you didn’t show up at all. Not only do you not let a car in, but you have to weave in and out of traffic to get ahead three spots before cutting across three lanes to take the next exit. All the cars that you practically hit weaving about pass you as you pull up to the red light on the exit ramp. The word stupid is way to kind for you. You are stupid squared. I’m going call you SQUPID. Honk again at me I dare you.

I could fill a dozen books with BS I see on the roads. I’m the guy that will let you in. I also leave space in between me and car in front of me so people can turn left while I’m at a stoplight. If I’m on a busy street I will not block traffic for 10 minutes waiting to turn left. Nope, I will go down, use the left turn lane at the stoplight that has a green arrow. Then I will do a U turn allowing me to come back and turn into the parking lot I wanted using a right turn. I added 45 seconds to my drive, but I didn’t back up traffic forever because I’m a SQUPID. Being kind has no off button. You can look for ways to be kind to other drivers. It isn’t hard.

The way we treat each other while controlling a 2 ton missile is disgusting. I swear some people do NOT want to live thru their commute. That is fine by me, but leave me and everyone else out of it. Speed up, pop a couple uppers or downers, turn your blinker on for an obscene amount of time while flying down the road and then go hit a tree. In this scenario I feel sorry for the tree.

Be kind to one another. You don’t have to follow someone home and wash their car to be kind. Just hit the brake a tad and let them merge in. In fact don’t follow people home. It isn’t as romantic a gesture as one might think. Cops, restraining orders, and the hassles.. That is what a friend told me 47 times. Only a percentage of you will get that joke and I’m okay with that.

I love my Moms. Yes I have more than one. I am so awesome one Mother’s love just wasn’t enough so God gave me another.

FknBucky

P.S. I am a master at the reverse Mom Whore so don’t even think about blinkering me.

04
Feb
21

I need help

By Bucktown 1 Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
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(** I started this blog the other day, but ran out of time to finish, hence the 4 AM**)

Well here we go. Another 4 AM morning, but it beats not waking up so like every other day, I will accept it and move on. I have a couple other blogs started, but they will take a back seat today as I wanted to talk about something I absolutely suck at. One would think that by age 27 I would have figured out how to do something as simple as the task we are going to discuss over the next four paragraphs. I know that I’m not alone in skipping over, ignoring, and simply letting pride get in the way of this ever important tool we need in life.

What could it possibly be?? Any guesses?? To be honest if you don’t have it figured out by now I kinda feel sorry for you because you are stupid. Don’t worry you’re not alone. This world is full of stupid people and they are breeding at record pace. More on that in a future blog, but for today we will let the idiots on planet Earth be. If calling stupid people stupid offends you then you are going to have a rough time reading any of my blogs. I do not include people with real mental handicaps when I talk that way, in fact quite the opposite. I do include lazy when I use the term stupid. Off topic, but important I mention this story. A few years ago while spending time with my nephews I made a comment using the term ‘retarded” and it didn’t compute that I said anything wrong until my eight year old nephew called me out. He said “It isn’t their fault they are special in that way so we don’t use words like that.” He was absolutely right and I’m happy he called me out. Funny where and who we can learn from if we simply shut up and listen sometimes.

So back to the topic of the day. Asking for help. I suck at it. I will be the first one in line to help a stranger, friend, or even some of my family. I understand that it is a necessary thing to do to make it thru life successfully and learning to ask for help is a skill just like everything else we do. Knowing how and when to ask is the key. I have gotten better at this mainly because I’m getting older and the wheelchair limits what I can do. My personal stupidity is endless when it comes to this.

I once heard another person in a wheelchair talk about flipping their mattress. I have no idea what size mattress he mentioned, if it was a pillow top, or really anything else about the situation. I just knew if that gentleman (I wanted to say fucking guy, but my Mom said I have to stop cursing in my blog so if curse words offend you please don’t read this line) could do it then so could I. I can do anything and I truly believe that every single day of my life. The very next day I decided to flip my Queen sized double pillow top mattress because I’m a guy and we are born to do dumb shit like this.

I was living in a one bedroom apartment in Solana Beach, CA at the time of this mattress flipping awesomeness. I just did what you would think. I started picking one corner of the mattress, just kept lifting scooting my head and shoulder along trying to get the whole mattress vertical so it would flip. I’m not going to lie (if I was going to lie I would just say I didn’t do this) at one point I was thinking there is absolutely no chance of this ending well, but I was committed and that other gentleman did it so obviously I can to. It was looking like success was about to be mine until well, it wasn’t.

The mattress pretty much pushed me and the chair right over, it landed on top of me in such a way that I was pinned between the mattress, my dresser, and a wall. I was screwed. Now this would be bad, but we all know FknBucky doesn’t screw up a little bit, I screw up a lot a bit when it is my turn for stupid. I settled into my new position of locked on the floor with a big ass mattress on top of me which by the way was also pinned under the bed frame at this time so I couldn’t just slide it off. It needed to be lifted about 3’ in the air, but I have height issues when laying on the ground paralyzed from the chest down. This is when I also noticed my lamp that was of course on rocking and falling down onto the mattress. Light bulbs are hot so that was not good.

I laid there thinking “Wow, I am a dumbass.” I couldn’t move as my chair was pinned in somehow as well and the whole situation got so bad so quickly I was actually in awe at how bad I fucked up. Sorry Mom. I guess it was not my day to burn up in a mattress accident that was my own doing because a girl I was seeing at the time happened to stop by. She was screaming in the door “are you home??” And I debated for a few moments if I really needed help out of this one. I guarantee you I looked for any way to handle the situation on my own, but ended up yelling “I’m in here.”

The look on her face when she came into the bedroom at the carnage in front of her was priceless. Had she not come along this could be a much sadder lesson about asking for help. I have a friend now this week that happened to stop by my life and give me the help she knew I needed simply because I was too stubborn to ask. I’ve been blessed in life with great friends, but I always say you have to be a friend to have them. I take friendship seriously as none of us can do it alone all of the time. Two big lessons today. One ask for help when you need it and two make sure you offer it genuinely without expecting something in return to those you care about.

Okay fine there is a third lesson here. Don’t try to flip your mattress because some random guy at a bar said he could do his with a lamp on. The only problem was that darn lamp……

Do kind things for others every day and thank you Moonbeam.

FknBucky

16
Feb
15

Tragedy

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
Categories: accident and learning
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Support them as you never know when you'll need them!!! Thank you to all my friends and family that volunteer!!

Support them as you never know when you’ll need them!!! Thank you to all my friends and family that volunteer!!

I have this story that I want to get out, but not really sure how to start so I’ll just do as I always do. Write the first things that come to mind until I can get into it. Life is funny in how it all works out. One day I’m 15, I know everything, and then I wake up at 36 and realize I still don’t know shit. How does this happen?? I have no idea, but somehow all the “old” people in my life that tried to explain things to me when I was younger aren’t as stupid as I once thought.

You see the other night my younger brother and I were watching TV when his wife ran into the room and said “I think I just heard an accident.” We all just kind of looked at each other for a moment, but then sure enough his radio went off. He and his wife are on the volunteer fire department in Lower Alabama. She is a trauma nurse in Mobile and he works for a funeral home. Good person to know if you have anger issues.

The radio said a car was in the ditch and my brother left. The accident was only about a quarter mile from us on the highway that runs in front of his house. This is where things get serious and why I had trouble figuring out how to write this out. You see there were four kids in the car that wrecked and they were just out having fun like all of us did many many times before.

There was 2 girls and 2 guys in the car with a boy about 24 years old driving. They cruised by my brothers house and might have been going a bit faster than the posted speed limit, but who isn’t guilty of that. A dog was in the middle of the road and the driver of the car decided to swerve and miss the dog at the last second. This is something that you should never do. Hit the dog. Any of you that know me know I love my dog like a child, but if she was standing in the road and you can’t stop in time, you have to hit the dog. Swerving leads to much worse consequences. In this true story though the driver swerved and lost control. He went left and then hard right ending up in a big grassy ditch.

The grass was wet and no real traction to be had there. This isn’t a movie or a video game. It is real life and shit happens very fast without a warning. That is why you need to pound certain things into your kids heads while you have the chance and pray that they listen. I never listened and I think back wondering how in the hell did I survive?? I never wore my seatbelt and always said “I don’t want live if I’m all messed up.” How ironic is that?? Well this car could not control where it was going and hit a very large cement telephone pole. These poles do not give and the car stopped immediately.

The driver hurt his arm a bit, but was able to get out of the car. My brother showed up a few moments after it happened and described it to me later. The girl that was in the front passenger seat was not wearing her seatbelt. She was ejected from the car through the windshield. He checked her pulse immediately and could not detect one. This is when he got on the radio and said they may need a flight for life helicopter and there might possible fatalities so others coming to the scene would know what to expect. In other words things are very bad. Everyone hurry up. My sister in-law handed me their new baby and raced out of the house knowing she was needed on scene. The boy in the back seat had severe head trauma and was not able to comprehend what was going on.

The girl in the back seat was injured, but not life threatening. I had a very sick feeling while I was holding the baby and waiting for news on what was going on at the accident. The girl who had been thrown from the car started to gasp for breath a few moments after not having a pulse and my brother was there to help her until paramedics arrived. Being in that situation is awful enough, but to be there alone would be much worse. Please remember to support your local volunteers as they are regular people that can instantly be put into very hard positions. The girl was 17, smart, well liked in school and the community, and only guilty of not wearing a seatbelt. She did not live. Her last name was McKinley although no relation to my brother or I.

The boy in the back seat was her boyfriend for the last 2 years and was 16. He was not wearing a seatbelt and after some time passed with the volunteer firemen using the Jaws of life to get him out, he was on his way to the hospital. He and his girlfriend spent 2 hours fighting for their lives. Both of them passed away. There was no alcohol in the car or in anyones system. They were simply out riding around and swerved to miss that dog which cost them their lives. It bothered me greatly as I pass by that pole everyday and if they had been 5 feet to either side they would have missed it, hit some small trees/shrubs, and hopefully have lived to tell about it later.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to write about this, but I felt like I had to. First to get it out of my head as it is the only way I know how, also to help you start the conversation about wearing seat belts, and teach those you love to not swerve their cars. Real life has real consequences and I felt truly sick thinking about those poor parents that were going to be woken up at 2 AM to be told the one thing every parent fears the most. Lives were ruined in a split second. It is truly a tragedy. The boy who was driving the car is in real bad sorts. He can’t get over the fact he was the one driving and if he doesn’t it will certainly kill him as well.

http://www.al.com/news/mobile/index.ssf/2015/01/teen_couple_killed_in_fatal_ca.html

I can’t pretend to know what its like to be in his shoes, but I pray he finds a way to deal with the demons. It was simply an accident and sometimes the only reason is there is no reason. Have the conversation with your loved ones and make sure they understand that seat belts matter, swerving is not your first option, and speed limits are there for the things you don’t see. If you are driving a car make sure everyone buckles up as it is you that will “feel” responsible regardless. Driving fast seems easy when the roads are clear, but when the unknown happens YOU CAN’T STOP. And most importantly tell those around you that you love them every chance you get. It makes you and them feel better unless you’re on a first date. That can make dessert awkward.

Fknbucky

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