Posts Tagged ‘anger

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11
Dec
22

Checking Boxes

By Bucktown 2 Comments
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Good morning friends. Crazy week in the world. I wrote a blog about the prisoner exchange, but don’t feel like posting it. I have an opinion about it, but so does everyone else. I will simply say a couple of things and feel free to disagree. Sharing ideas and opinions is how the world gets better if you can be patient enough to listen to people and not shout them down. Your value as an American citizen should never be measured in how many boxes you check. I find that to be disgusting and it is simply one side deciding what is most beneficial to get votes. One more thing. The gun control crowd lost. You can’t tell law abiding citizens they can’t have a gun, but let a man called “The Merchant of Death” out of prison. It is estimated he is responsible for putting weapons in the hands of really bad people who used those weapons to kill hundreds of thousands of people. No no no Bucky, you got it wrong. We traded him for a gay, black, woman that we can use to solicit votes in 2024.

Okay. I’m done with that, but it does help me bring up a much brighter topic. How Bucky?? I’m getting to that. You should know by now I don’t reveal the reason for the blog until the 3rd paragraph. I framed my nieces art work the other day and it is my new favorite art on my wall. People spend $300,000 for a hand carved Italian marble alligator penis for their wall. For the record you are still a D-Bag, but now you are a D-Bag with a 300k alligator penis on your greeting room wall. Sometimes I hate other humans. Actually, most times I hate other humans, but not you. You’re cool because you read FknBucky. You’re cooler if you share the message.

I woke up and had the urge to hear a song I love. It is called “Things I’ve Seen” by the Spooks. The first time I heard it, I thought this is the soundtrack to my life. .I started to post it on FB, but thought I should expand a bit and make it a blog. Now we are here. I took a screenshot of the post I almost posted. I want to express that you should stop waiting to check off things from your bucket list. You should actively be thinking of different adventures you want to have in the next 3 months, 6 months, or in a year. Write those things down and put it where you see it everyday. Write it on your bathroom mirror. Write it on a post it note and put that up on your turned off TV so when you reach for the remote you will see your list, and work on that instead of watching the season finale of Keeping up with Kim’s big butt for the third time.

If you don’t have goals then you have nothing to reach for. That is sad. No goals means you don’t read books, take classes, work out, and pretty much just exist. What is it you do everyday that will make your life different in 6 months, a year, or in a decade from now. Take a look around you, go look in the mirror, and check your bank account. If you are 100% happy with what you see stop reading this blog and pat yourself on the back. You’re done, but if you want a more fulfilling life read on. Learn how to set goals and then start reaching them. Make small ones at first so you can begin to feel the pride of reaching a goal. Skip eating ice cream for a week. JUST KIDDDING. Never skip ice cream. That is a stupid idea. I eff’ing love ice cream.

Set things that are attainable and will help you become a better human. Tell yourself no road rage for this work week. Just let the car merge, don’t chase the guy who cut you off, and forgive the guy doing 60 in the left lane. It isn’t his fault, he is driving his alligator penis home and after spending 300K on something so stupid, it is a given that he drives slow in the passing lane. FYI – It is not a fast lane. It is a passing lane. If you ain’t passing, get out the left lane. Okay I got sidetracked again.

Learn to meditate. Learn to listen to yourself and ask what experiences do you want to have before you die?? Put everything down. Make goals for the day, week, month, year, and beyond. Appreciate the feeling of accomplishment you get when you start checking off boxes on your list. Told you I could tie it all in. If you want a better more fulfilling life you simply have to make yourself better. Read books on things important to you. Thousands of successful humans have written books about how they did it, and you’ve never read even one of them. You want a Kim K lifestyle, but put in ZERO effort to achieve it. No person is going to show up with a bag of money for you because you sat around a fire pit drinking Busch Light for the last 5 years. If they did, Traer, Iowa would be the richest town in America.

Here is the formula for success: Set goals, hate Russia, always read FknBucky, and share Bucky’s blog with everyone you know. I have FknBucky stickers now, and yesterday I got my first car. Proud moment to see my blog on someone’s car.

Remember to Love Who You Are Today, Tomorrow is Not Guaranteed.

FknBucky

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05
Dec
22

I want my gift now!!

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Content. Gotta keep up the content. I heard a quote yesterday that really hit me from multiple angles and if I can keep my “shiny” in check I will talk about this quote. Quick note though as I was watching Thursday Night Football and listened to the MassHole crowd booing the home team. Seriously??? You have been on a winning streak never before seen in Pro Football, but you boo the team responsible for many a great night the second something doesn’t go your way. Losing makes winning taste so much better. The feeling of accomplishment that comes after trying and failing over and over and over is very special. You can only earn it. Can’t buy it, steal it, or beg for it. You simply have to put yourself out there every day with a huge middle finger to anyone that says “You can’t do that!”

We set ourselves up for losing before the game even starts. It is crazy to me how often I hear people complain about something they haven’t even started. How do you know it sucks if you haven’t done it??? Okay, I’m pretty sure prison sex is not fun for the new guy so that would be an exception to the knowing it sucks without trying category. The mindset before the fight is as important as the battle itself. I’m not smart enough, I don’t have lots of money, I’m out of shape, I’m disabled (I eff’ing hate that word FYI) I’m a girl, I’m gay, or any of the excuses you allow yourself to have. YOU give these BS excuses to yourself which is stupid and unnecessary, but it is cool because that means you can drop that crap off right now. None of those will aid you in reaching your goals/dreams so why in the heck do you drag them along your life path.

Now that you’ve unloaded all the needless baggage you find yourself in neutral. Just walking along the line in middle land. Middle land also sucks. It is boring and you’re better than that. You need to get your mind into the Nothing can stop me, if you’re not smart – read books and get smart, if you are ugly, hang out with uglier people so you become the hot one, you have no money – learn to save money and stop spending half your paycheck on beer and weed. Here comes biggie so read slow and pay attention. Take that stupid dumb-butt chip off your shoulder. Stop crying about race, sexuality, gender, and all the other crap that simply holds you down. You want to carry that excuse with you fine, but I’m not waiting for you. Those things can only hurt you if you allow it.

The quote I heard is this “Pain is a Gift” which blew my mind. Pain sucks. I don’t want pain. A gift from Satan maybe. What kind of moron thinks pain is a gift?? This moron. I thought about writing these points in crayon so you could understand it better. How awesome would it be going into battle with a smile on your face thinking I’m ready for you. I’ve been overcoming crap my whole life and you “Mr Problem” can’t do a darn thing because I’m prepared. What comes from hardships?? What do we really end up with when it is over?? I’ll tell you. Wisdom. Strength. Self Confidence. Experience. Yeah those things are pretty cool.

Here you are. The only warrior in your own personal army. There is no back up. Can’t radio for an air strike. Faster you realize it is on you to handle it, the sooner you overcome it and move on. Imagine running towards the hardship. I accept I can’t go around you so now I’m going to fight. Don’t wait. Pick up a stick and sprint towards it with an enormous smile because you know when this is over you’ll be a better, stronger, more valuable human. I’ll take two of those if you can buy this at CVS. Never happen, you like everyone before you and like everyone after you has to earn those things.

Pain is a gift. An opportunity to test your skills and strengths. I know in reality these are just words and facing pain in the real world sucks. A failed relationship, fired from a job, losing a hand, becoming paralyzed, losing a loved one, or any other situation that is sure to cause hardships. When you start with a deep breath and say “I can do this” you start out ahead instead of telling yourself “Oh man, this sucks, it will be so hard, no one will help me, I can’t cope with this, I’ll just ignore it for a few weeks, or any other excuse you let yourself use.

The world needs warriors. I am one. I’m not perfect. FAR FAR from it, but I fear no challenge or hardship. I have practiced my whole life for game day. I’ve accepted the wisdom one gets from failing. I own my mistakes. You can’t learn a valuable lesson if you refuse to admit you screwed up.

As Always: Love Who You Are Today, Tomorrow is not Guaranteed!!

Please share my message if you enjoy it. Rate it 5 stars and please makes comments below. All that helps drive traffic to my blog and allows many more people to benefit from my rants…. I appreciate you all very much.

FknBucky

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26
Nov
22

Can you be trusted??

By Bucktown 2 Comments
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Saturday. I was up at 3:30 again last night. Not sure what that is all about, but I didn’t write. I watched “Kings of Pain” on one of my apps where they get stung by a centipede from Asian forest. That might be the grossest thing I’ve ever seen.

I can “man up” when needed to kill a spider, creepy, gross, and crawly thing, but deep down I hate them. Many a time in my life I’ve had to grab a spider with my bare hand and without a doubt every single time I was secretly wishing someone else would do it. In Cali when Alex lived with me, she screamed “spider”, and pointed at her bed when I rolled in there. Sure enough a big black jerk face spider was hauling butt across her blanket. There was no time to ponder what to do. If I lost sight of it there was a good chance I’d never find it and no one wants to sleep in spider bed. I just reached out, grabbed it, and killed it instantly by smushing it in my hand. I was a hero. I went into my room, did the “Willies” shake, and thought about how much that sucked.

Go back and read “EAT YOUR BEANS” part 1 and 2. Then make your sons read it. Everyday.

I had a message I wanted to get into on this blog, but not sure I want to just yet. Life has been difficult as usual lately. The ever easy days that I had in my twenties aren’t around anymore. Waking up next to a beautiful woman on a Saturday morning, who I would offer a ride home if she remembered my name, but didn’t reveal the fact that I didn’t own a car. The ride home was the Summit Stage. Man I was awesome. Dimples are amazing. I would just smile as I explained how to walk to the bus stop and Friday night hook-up would laugh at my cuteness…. I’d have a quick puff puff, head to the hill, and snowboard all day with my friends that would most definitely be there. We didn’t have cell phones, didn’t bother making plans, and just knew where my crew would be at. Great days.

I just thought about being 19 in Iowa. I had a great friend (still a great friend) that I hung out with every day. Back in those days we always had a cooler in the trunk filled with ice cold Busch Light. I don’t recommend drinking and driving so be sure to chug as much as you can while stopped at a stoplight or stop sign. Safety first. Can you imagine the agony of hitting a pothole and spilling your beverage. Take no chances my friends. Obviously I’m kidding. There are no stoplights on gravel roads. Shoot, got distracted there, okay now back on message. This friend and I would pick one another up daily. I would grab a drink from the cooler, always grabbed an extra one for my brother, put it in a coozie, and then set it under the passenger seat. When he got in the car without question he would reach under the seat and grab his can of thirst quenching super nectar. It was always there. When is the last time you had 1,000% faith a fellow human would have your back???

I haven’t thought about that in a long time. Pretty cool though. Okay, now it is time for me to explain how my story will give you something positive to think about today. Life is not about accumulating possessions. Many people don’t understand that. They just want “more” all the time. More money, more cars, more houses, more more more. Then they can show it off to you in an attempt to prove to you how important and great they are. I saw a interview with the artist PitBull talking about his 17 super cars. I’m not impressed. Just because you are financially successful in life does not automatically mean you are a successful human. You might have to read that sentence a couple times.

A successful life in my opinion is measured by relationships. Not Friday night hook-ups, but the true relationships you cultivate throughout your time on Earth. How many people completely trust you to follow thru every single time?? You can’t buy trust. You can’t borrow it. You can’t beg for it. You have to earn it EVERY single day. It isn’t a “when I’m in the mood” thing or “I’ll do it next week” kind of thing. Can you be trusted to kill the spider?? Can you be trusted to remember your friend when grabbing yourself a cold drink from the trunk?? Those are little silly things Bucky.

You are 100% correct. They are little seemingly trivial things, but how can I trust you with big things when you haven’t put the time in gaining my trust doing the little things. Yeah that is big deal. Spend your time on Planet Earth (a very short time in the big picture) acquiring trust not stuff. A new car is not as important as a friend KNOWING without fail you will show up in that new car to give them a ride to the airport at 4:30 AM.

This blog is so far away from what I planned to write. Not a problem as I simply type what my brain is saying. Be a person of value and not just a person that has valuable stuff.

Love Who You Are Today, Tomorrow is not Guaranteed.

FknBucky

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Get your FknBucky shirts for X-mas presents. Great for the whole family!!

25
Nov
22

Mexican Monday is not a thing, YET….

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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Black Friday. I don’t participate. I go out on White Wednesday. Can you imagine the uproar if that happened??? Oh well. At least we can all agree Mexican Monday can never be allowed to exist. For obvious reasons duh. Mexican isn’t a color. Check your crayons. That weird green that looks like guacamole after sitting out 7 hours is not called Mexican. Who knew I like guacamole?? Learn everyday.

I see the videos every year of the stampede to get a $400 flatscreen TV for $325. I will pay $425 for that exact TV to have it shipped to my house allowing me to never interact with the “humans” in line. I say “humans” because putting oneself thru that for a TV is stupid and I’d like to think I’m a different species than those “humans”. Money isn’t very important to me so saving $75 on a TV I wouldn’t buy in the first place is way down the list of crap to think about. When I moved to Charlotte 7 years ago I was extremely low on funds. Very low. I had no TV for over 4 years. Turns out you don’t need one to live. Prior to Charlotte, I didn’t work for a year and spent that time mooching off my family all around the country. I helped out around the house though. I’m not a complete freeloader. Every single day I would tell my nieces and nephews to do chores after they brought me a large bowl of ice cream while I watched episodes of Snapped.

Enough about me for now. Kids are awesome to order around. Watching a 4 year old kid struggle to change the trash bag is super fun. They drop coffee grounds and egg shells all over themselves and the floor allowing you to yell at them for making a mess as well. The only thing better than watching kids do chores is watching kids do chores while they cry. I’m just kidding. I don’t watch them, I’m busy watching Snapped. Darn it. Pay attention Boomer….. I do yell at them to cry quietly so I can hear my show. Best Uncle Ever.

I completely forgot what I was talking about. It is 4:29 AM and my spasms are making it impossible to sleep right now. My normal routine of screaming at them while working on my puzzle can’t happen cause I’m in Alabama. My brother made a no screaming rule which I follow, but I don’t like it. I call him my “no fun cause of the no screaming rule” brother. It is kinda wordy, but I believe the message gets across. He is not to be confused with my “no fun cause I can’t steal cash out of his wallet” brother. I mean come on. Loaning myself your money without asking is actually me doing you a favor. You don’t have to think of reasons to say “No” because you don’t know about it. It is a win win. It is extra cool cause I blame the missing money on the crying kids covered in coffee grounds. This all makes sense because coffee grounds are black and this blog is about Black Friday. Keep up.

I do look forward to Mexican Monday. Everyday items that are super useful will be 75% off. Things like rope, wall climbing shoes, snorkels, floaties, border patrol uniforms, anti-Trump bumper stickers, and other border crossing essentials. Obviously I’m joking, but if big business thought they could make a profit exploiting it, the “big guy” would make it happen as long as he gets his 10%. Insert Vice President awkward cackle laugh here. Don’t look South stupid, just sign off on sending 40 billion tax dollars to Ukraine so they can protect their border. If you question that logic you are a racist.

Some people enjoy the chaos of Black Friday. I’m not one of them, but I will say please be careful and polite. No amount of savings is worth someone getting hurt or killed. Remember that we are all “humans” so be kind to one another. If you can’t follow that rule stay home.

Love Who You Are Today, Tomorrow is not Guaranteed

FknBucky

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18
Nov
22

Have some Class

By Bucktown 4 Comments
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Good Morning. I’m short on time, but not short on message. I watched the Packers lose last night for the 7th time this year and like everyone I was disappointed. Very very disappointed. Not with the team, but the fans that were in attendance for the game. When I heard the “boos” draining down on the home team because a play didn’t go your way>> What a bunch of whiny little pricks. Oh no, we have a losing season for the first time in what 15 years?? The players get paid millions Bucky so I can treat them like crap.

No they don’t and a person with character would never boo the home team over something so petty. The big names make millions, but a large number of players still make a few hundred grand a year. Yes that is a lot to many of us, but they earn it putting on a show for us every Sunday or in this case Thursday. Yes this team needs to work out the mistakes and timing, but to rain down the boos on National TV was a disgrace.

Rodgers was off and missed some throws. It happens. For the last 25 years the Packers have had a wonderful run with the Brett Farve era and then moving right into the Aaron Rodgers time. I mean look at Detroit. That is a team and fan base that has learned to lose every year over and over and over and over and over….. You could just go west and become a purple loving %#&*%^&#%*$*(#(#*&#^&&@#^!!!!! If you do this stay there. Stupid Vi-Queens..

I don’t have a ton of time today so this one is short. It is okay the message is clear. Have some class in life. Stand up tall and take the L like a ma…. I’m not going to be sexist today. Take the L like a stand up citizen. These players were out in 25 degrees and played their heart out. Here is a little thought for you. The other team gets paid to win too.

Have fun in life. Go to the game and appreciate it for what it is. An experience to come together as a community to support the home team. The outcome of the game is what it is. The players and coaches are the only ones with any control on that. You screaming “RUN THE BALL” from seat L420E doesn’t matter and will make zero difference.

Next time you buy tickets leave the “boos” at home, but bring the booze for the tailgate party. Please like and share, give 5 stars, or make a comment. 2023 will be a big year for the blog with your help. I can’t do it alone.

Go Pack Go!!

Love Who U R Today — Tomorrow is not Guaranteed

FknBucky

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16
Nov
22

Take Notice

By Bucktown 3 Comments
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In my head I’m like why haven’t you been writing more. I wanted to follow up the other one the next day, but things just got busy. Then got busy again. Days go by so darn fast. I’m in Durham, NC at my favorite hotel at this time. It is a new AC and the rooms are perfect. I drove an extra eight miles just so I could stay here. The staff knows Annabel and I now so it is nice to come in the front door and see a friendly face. I have a rule about talking with people. The front desk guy, I want to remember his name, the guy taking care of a parking lot, and the maintenance crew at my apartment building. Well the current crew are not super observant. I had water all over my hallway and reported it. I got an email telling me it is the washing machine so it is my problem to deal with. They bought the washer so….. Yeah. I also thought there is no way. I got home and looked at it. The area around the washer was dry, but the hot water heater in the closet next door was in a pond. There was a frog. Some tadpoles and the Mexican kid next door asked if I would let him catch some catfish. I’m just kidding. He isn’t Mexican.

There was a bar we liked to go to prior to COVID stupidity. It was a very popular spot and the parking lot always filled up early. Every time I went there I talked to the parking guy. He had 3 kids and that was his 2nd job to make enough money to take care of them. In the cold, the rain, the heat, humidity, or whatever else there was he was sitting there protecting the parking lot. Not to mention the jerks that said bad things to him cause they didn’t get a parking spot. Like somehow it was his fault. I could relate. I know what it is like to have more bills than money, I know what it is like to be hungry or eat the same thing for a week (Ramen) before payday. Guess who always got a parking spot. No matter how full that lot was he saw me coming picked up the cone so I could drive in and then told the D-Bag driving his Range Rover to keep going. Sorry a Range Rover jerk cut me off today so I hate those cars tonight.

I went to book my hotel and it was full. I called and asked the kid who answered if they had any accessible rooms available. He put me on hold. I only give about 30 seconds to hold. I got a life to live. Don’t expect me to sit around waiting for you to get to me. I’m FknBucky. I wait for none. Plus I knew if I called after 3, Zach would be working, and he gets it done. They are booked full he told me, and then said hang on. I gave him a few extra seconds. Sure enough my usual room (No you don’t get to know the number) would be ready when I arrived. The rate online is $171, but I paid $125. I always say “be kind to people”, treat everyone with respect (because they deserve it until they prove otherwise), and slow down sometimes. Notice people that you may have looked past in prior days. Your life will improve over night, you will be happier, and you’ll be a great role model for the kids watching you.

I feel better. I have this wheelchair I picked up from a Veteran that has a broken bracket. I usually put these on, but sometimes the VA uses an outside vendor. I have no choice, but they put this bracket on incorrectly. I thought it was a couple bolts and done, but once I started looking close at it I realized I had to take it all apart and start over. I spent 4 hours jacking around with it. The first couple trying to fix it without doing a whole rebuild. Waste of time. I could have added the bolts and it would work for a while, but I can’t do that. That voice in my head says “Don’t you cut corners Bucky” which is simply the way I’ve been programmed.

Not sure what to call this blog. Maybe we can use this to be a reminder telling us to be kind to one another. You don’t know what someone’s past is. The hardships at home that a co-worker never talks about. You just never know. A moment in my life that I will never forget was an afternoon in Solana Beach. I got off on Lomas Sante Fe rd and there is always traffic in Cali. I was 8 cars back when the light turned green and the lead car didn’t move. After a few seconds I was screaming I would kill their children like any sane person would do. I mean three seconds at a green light. Everyone was honking, yelling, and threatening. I was 8th in line so unless they had a huge litter of children I wasn’t going to get one. I was mad at that as well. People started going around them. The reality was it was only a 10 second delay, but hey don’t put me on hold with your car either!! As I passed the stopped car my heart dropped. I will never forget the image. Ever. The driver was maybe 25 and I would guess her Mom was in the passenger seat. Both of them were sobbing. Not crying. Sobbing. Whatever news they just got destroyed them. I instantly became very ashamed at myself. 10 seconds and I lose my mind. Clearly they lost someone very close.

Slow down and take the time to talk with someone you normally do not. That good feeling you get is addicting. Be kind to the world and your life will improve.

Love Who you Are Today —- Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

FknBucky

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08
Nov
22

Great Moments

By Bucktown 7 Comments
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I’ve missed you. I have written a couple dozen blogs, but never get around to posting them. I just spent a week in Hawaii with a couple of my nephews. I’ve done a lot of cool things in my life, and I’ve done some very stupid things. It is what it is. I don’t dwell on the past or the “what if” questions that weak minded people like to waste time thinking about. It isn’t hard to change. When you start down that path of thinking, identify it, accept your reality, and then smile while moving on from the dark negative thoughts. No amount of “regret thoughts” will change your future or your present. It is a waste of energy and never ends up being a positive outcome.

I volunteer at the rehab center here in Charlotte. I go in when requested to talk with people that have recently had a traumatic injury. I change lives when I do this. It is also extremely difficult on me as I relive the accident that left me paralyzed. Recently I met with a gang member that was shot and paralyzed from the chest down like I am. He was miserable. Nothing I said made any difference to him as he was determined to stay angry and depressed. I left that encounter feeling confused. Instead of sharing my positivity with him, I picked up his negativity. I second guessed my decisions, my optimistic attitude, and started hating this wheelchair and all it represented.

I promise nothing good comes from that way of thinking. It took a few days to purge that encounter from my thoughts, but it bothered me that I let some stranger influence my mood and my life philosophy. I have a feeling I’m not the only one that falls victim to such a thing. WHY?? Why would I let that happen?? I honestly don’t know, but I will be more guarded the next time I’m in that type of situation. I’m not going to quit trying to help, but I will be more aware of taking someone else’s feelings with me. We all should. Don’t let people with no investment interrupt or influence our lives or our attitude about our lives.

This blog has taken a turn I didn’t expect, but I just start typing and let my thoughts write the message. The wisdom I’ve gained by seeing the world while sitting down can not be measured. I enjoy spending time with kids and share some of these thoughts with them. While in Hawaii I told my nephews that we accept the bad times in life in order to enjoy the great moments. A corner suite at the Marriott with ocean views on Waikiki Beach is one of those amazing moments in life. We can’t change the past so learn the lessons from it and then pay attention to your present.

I tell them to put their darn phones down and just enjoy the moment when awesome things happen. I mean take a quick video to show your friends and then put it down. Take the time to experience that moment. What does it smell like?? What sounds are around you?? Take notice of that euphoric feeling inside of you. You can lose a phone, someone can steal your property, but memories are free, you don’t need a bag to carry them, and I have a bank full of them. I will keep accepting my situation and make plans for great moments in my future.

Love who you are today. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

FknBucky

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25
Jul
22

Squeeze those you Love

By Bucktown 4 Comments
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Been too long since I’ve posted a blog. I’ve got about 10 typed up, but get sidetracked and don’t finish them. I am kind of busy, but not as busy as I like to think. Regardless of what I do, I always feel like it isn’t enough. I can give more, volunteer more, work more, mentor more, and just about everything more. It is a good/bad thing. I don’t feel satisfied or fulfilled very often, but I’m also driven to push on and keep chasing my goals/dreams. Sometimes life has a way of hitting the “reset” button and reminding us that the only important thing is spending time with people you care about.

I moved to Charlotte 7 years ago. I knew no one in this city. Verno (great friend from high school) was 1 hr away, but in the city I was alone. The guy I replaced (job) took me around for training my first week. I was living in a hotel because I hadn’t found an apartment yet. This guy and I went for beers one night when his brother (Eddie) joined us. We clicked right away and I was no longer without a friend in Charlotte. That same week they had a birthday party (the group photo is from that day) and invited me so I ended up meeting a great group of guys that like to have some beers and laugh just like me.

Eddie and Ed

Getting to know these guys I call my Married Friends (cause they are all single) was awesome. We went on a tubing trip up in the mountains drinking a lot and floating down a river. I got to know Eddie’s best friend Ed. You read that right. Ed had the same sense of humor as me and we had plenty of bad jokes to go around. I was invited to come up for poker night and went. Nobody’s home was accessible and we had stairs to navigate on the way inside. No problem early in the night. After poker was a different story. My friend Ed insisted on being the guy to help me down the stairs. A few moments later Ed and I were spooning each other in the mud with my chair rolling down a hill somewhere. Ed was a bad wheelchair helper after drinking.

Fast forward to another poker night in a different house. We ate wings, drank beers and played cards. When it was time to leave Ed wanted redemption. You know me. Lets party. There were two stairs, not seven, this time so I thought lets do this. A few moments later Ed and I were cuddling on the garage floor. Maybe he liked spooning me and this was all on purpose…. I fell slow and wasn’t hurt so it was just funny. My man Ed didn’t want the others to see cause they would bust his balls for another 5 months just like last time. He was determined to get me back in my chair on his own.

I’m fat now. I weigh more than I look like. Ed grabbed me around the waist/belly and LIFTED with all he had. He also squeezed me so hard I shit myself. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that part of the story. Ed thought I farted and the look on his face was the same as if someone punched him in the nose. He got a good deep whiff of the Busch Light poop that he had just squeezed out of me. I thought well that is one way to make sure he doesn’t volunteer for chair duty again…

We lost Ed. He passed away a week ago. I’d given any amount of money to have him dump me onto the floor again. I just found out today. It isn’t fair. He worked hard. Took care of his wife. Was a great father to his young kids. At the beach on vacation he fell and passed away in front of his family. The thought of it breaks my heart. When you travel and meet people like I do, it becomes easy to identify good people that are fun to be around. It made no difference how long it was since we last hung out, the moment we started talking and giving each other crap all that went away.

Ed is the only man on Earth to literally squeeze the shit out of me. I’m sure he will be remembered as a great father, great husband, great son, and great friend, but for me he will be remembered for the poop squeeze. I am sure he would want it that way. This news was my reset button. Tomorrow is not guaranteed no matter who you are, how much stuff you have, how much money you have, or any other measurement you want to bring up. Treat the people you come in contact with like it could be the last time. Be remembered for laughing, helping, loving, caring, being genuine, or my new personal favorite be remembered for squeezing the shit out of a cripple. Something tells me Ed is a on short list with that one.

This photo was taken 5 minutes before he passed. Your time here in this life is not guaranteed.

There is a GoFundMe page, link below, for his widow and kids. Please give what you can. Everyone I know can give something unless you decide to ignore others that need help. To me that is a character thing. Do what is right. My hope is to remind the people lucky enough to know Ed of how fun and funny he was. The world was better with him in it, and I truly know it is a little less bright without him. That said the memories live on forever. He is in our hearts, he is in our stories, and because of this Ed will never be forgotten.

I have an opinion on losing great people too soon or just in general. To miss someone means you had to spend time with them, get to know them, and appreciate them. To grieve for a loved one means you had the pleasure of knowing them well. The harder we grieve simply means we loved them a lot and we are blessed to have so many great memories with that loved one. Without love there is no grieving. Be proud you recognized the greatness in Ed and he felt the love from you everyday. Your love and time are the greatest gift you can give to another human. That is right. Read it again. The best gift you can give is free. Cost zero dollars.

My love and prayers to his family. There are a lot of people that will miss him dearly. I hope all of them remember Ed with happy funny stories because that is what he was. A happy funny guy.

FknBucky

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https://www.gofundme.com/f/ed-studer-memorial-fundraiser

16
Jun
22

Sometimes I want to punch the world

By Bucktown 1 Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
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Look at the pretty lights Bucky and ignore the chaos around you. It worked last night for a while. I meant every word in that blog yesterday. Some days are harder than others to ”Be Present” and blam today happened. I can’t explain why life works out this way, but I can share it with you so you understand you’re not alone. Or maybe I’m hoping one of you will share a story with me so I don’t feel alone. Facebook, Instagram, Tic Tok, Paddy whack, give a dog a bone is all BS. Nobody is happy all the time and most of the photos you see from “influencers” are fake. They use your ”like” exactly the same as a politician uses your vote. To better their portfolios, enrich themselves, and once they have it they move on to the next forgetting you exist. You are now number 183,085 and nothing else.

I got sidetracked there. I got back from my magic walk last night and made a massive bowl of dip. It is my new thing. I found a recipe online to get me started and I’ve been using different things to make it my own. If you’ve ever had the pleasure to eat something I cooked you know I don’t mess around. Everything is fresh and from scratch. The Apple Pie that started this, the blueberry cheesecake, chicken tortilla soup, beef stroganoff, tator tot casserole, and don’t forget the cinnamon rolls! I use sour cream, plain yogurt, jalapeños, spinach, green onions, cucumbers, and strawberries in this masterpiece. Everything fresh and blended together with a bunch of seasonings. I’m happy to share if you want to be the coolest person at your 4th of July party. Well 2nd coolest. Everyone knows the guy or gal that shoot a bottle rocket from their butt crack is the coolest person on Earth. If you serve veggies with homemade dip while shooting a bottle rocket out of your butt is guaranteed to make you a LEGEND. Ask my brother Jer about being a LEGEND, but NEVER give him bottle rockets or a lighter.

Morning time. Always a challenge with the leg spasms. Some days they are crazier than others, but it is 100% going to be the first thing I deal with every morning. Just think if 3/4’s of your body decided to cramp at the same moment. It is violent, painful, and usually results in me falling over backwards or sideways. If I’m ”lucky” I will be able to grab a table, bed, sofa, or anything to prevent the paralyzed backflip I’m trying to do. Maybe I could do the ParaOlympics… FknBucky takes the gold in the flip over backwards to smash the back of your head onto the concrete floor. Concrete is not soft if you aren’t sure. This morning I was saved by the night stand next to my bed as it prevented the chair from going all the way over.

I now know it is going to be like that today. I get dressed and cruise out to the kitchen so I can try this awesome dip I made yesterday evening. I take GREAT CARE with the bowl of dip on my lap because of the spasms. I currently have a work bench set up in my living room because I can. I put the dip on said workbench and start looking at some emails while I’m crushing some celery and dip. It is fantastic. I’m super stoked on my awesome culinary skills. BLAM spasm. My elbow goes straight into the bowl of dip. Right in the center of it. I’m going down and grab at anything I can to stop that from happening. Everything but me falls. 3 seconds ago I was patting myself on how great the dip turned out. Now I’m wearing half of it and see the other half all over my floor. It took me a good amount of time to make that dip and now it is gone.

Anger is an emotion and in this case it can be a verb. I was sad as well. All that work. All the money spent. All the time I spent. All of it on my floor. No five second rule here. Just a massive mess that needs to be cleaned up. As you can guess leaning all the way over cleaning up dip is not the easiest task a person can do. Very frustrating. You might be asking ”What is the point here Bucky??”

There isn’t one. What is the reason my hard work is on the floor?? Sometimes life is a real jerk. Nothing you can do about that. What you can do is control your attitude and your reaction to moments like this. I could have handled it better today, but I was mad. Being mad was wasted energy though. It did nothing to better my situation as I threw something that knocked over my Grapefruit flavored Celsius. Now my remote, phone, and some paperwork is soaking wet because I threw a tantrum. Pretty stupid.

I got more ingredients today. I’ll make more. Just like yesterday I need to remember the blessings. I have a great career and own my own company, I have amazing friends, my family loves me (well most of them), I have an amazing fur friend, and most importantly I wake up everyday being FknBucky. I write and share these moments for 2 reasons. First – I want it out of my head. Once I write about a situation I can stop thinking about it. Secondly – I hope that people that read this will drop the anchors of negativity they drag around, realize crap happens to everyone, and learn to tackle their problems with a smile.

FknBucky

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Our brother Ryan Cooper is still waiting for justice. Please never stop saying his name and asking who did this?? We will learn what happened and hold that person accountable.

15
Jun
22

Be Present

By Bucktown 3 Comments
Categories: Uncategorized
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How you doing blog readers?? I want to start off saying thank you for supporting my dream and reading my words. I appreciate it very much. I was just out with Annie on a very hot night here in the Queen City. It is 9 PM and still almost 90 outside. I was sweating like crazy throwing the frisbee and had to use the headlight on my Companion (Scooter attachment to wheelchair/ Retail as low as $2,500) to see where to throw it. This insanely bright light also attracted every bug for a 3 block radius so that was super awesome also. I was sweating like a lady of the night in church, bugs all over, and a very happy dog that just wanted me to hurry up and throw the frisbee over and over and over.

I’m a good dog Dad and threw the frisbee many many times for the second time today actually. I put a lot of pressure on myself thinking every blog has to be the most amazing thing I’ve ever written, but that leads to me not blogging often. The person that is hardest and most demanding of me, is me. I set the bar high and will never stop trying to be better everyday. You know my philosophy of helping a stranger everyday without acknowledgement and one you may not know is I want to learn something new everyday. New skill, new word, new friend, new viewpoint, or whatever you want. To me learning is fun. I don’t understand people that refuse to read, refuse to try something different, refuse to talk to someone that disagrees with them (I mean TALK, not scream at or call names), and just grow as a person.

Zooming back from frisbee session I’m annoyed. I’m thinking the heat sucks, bugs suck, the guy in that car sucks, I hate that stupid bird over there, and not even realizing how negative my thoughts had become. I took the corner and saw downtown Charlotte all lit up which is pretty cool at night. My thought right then was “Man it is awesome being alive” and everything changed in an instant. Suddenly it wasn’t so hot, the bugs were gone, I still think the guy in the car sucks (not my fault he is a Ginger), and the bird was cool. His name was… Birds don’t have names or talk dummy. You guys/gals are gullible. ha. The reality was one simple view of the city got me back on the right path.

Life is a struggle. Accept that part of it. Fighting it or thinking somehow it will just get super easy one day is setting yourself up for guaranteed disappointment every time that nameless bird poops on your head. Hey, at least the Ginger didn’t poop on your head. My thought was I’m glad I’m present. What I mean by that is I was willing to let go of the junk and simply be present to recognize the blessings around me. I have an awesome dog, I have a great apartment in a fantastic city, I have a lot of great friends, and a wonderful family that I’m going to see in less than two weeks.

So I remind myself by writing this blog to be present in the moment. Enjoy the time we are blessed with on Earth. Be kind to others, compliment a random stranger on their shirt, shoes, car, hair, or whatever as it will make them stand a little taller and love their moment. A simple “wow, you look great today, that shirt is awesome” can make all the difference in the world to the right person. Hug your family and tell them how important they are to you. You don’t have to wait for a moment, a person, or anything to be a beacon of positivity in your life. BE THE POSITIVE.

It sounds so simple, but many many people on Earth will never get it or practice it.

Appreciate you all,

FknBucky

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The world misses you Ryan Cooper. You have not been forgotten and I pray everyday the horrible person that did this to you will be brought to justice.

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