Posts Tagged ‘bad

03
May
25

Cooler Guy

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Storming outside right now. I love a good Thunderstorm. I miss the warm nights in Iowa when it would lightening for hours before the actual storm showed up. The calm before the storm is the phrase that is clearly fitting. We would be sitting in a garage somewhere drinking ice cold Busch Lights in koozies watching the sky light up over and over. Every once in a while we’d yell “Damn that was a good one” and then take a big chug while motioning to Verno to get off the cooler and throw me another. No matter how many chairs we had, Vern was always sitting on the cooler.

Those organic random moments just happen in life and it is hard to appreciate them while they are actually occurring. In fact it is pretty much impossible for a lot of people to appreciate them at all. They are infatuated with being let down, unhappy, and victimized. Some people might laugh at a few buddies sitting around drinking beer in a garage for hours waiting on a storm to roll thru, but they are idiots. Just so you know. This blog is for you geniuses sitting in the garage with a beer in your hand. I salute you! The little things in life are what make it so much fun and learning to appreciate them is the key to having a good time while you’re here.

Flicking cigarette butts passed Bucky’s head (You know who you are) in a tool shed, watching Blayne suck a snack pack bone dry without a spoon, or just meeting up on a gravel road somewhere randomly on a hot summer night are magical memories. I didn’t know it at the time, but looking back I’m so thankful for those moments. I couldn’t tell you what we talked about, who was all there, and I probably was sworn to secrecy anyway. The point is I didn’t complain about it not being enough. I’ve never been one to bitch about what I had right now.

Of course I would like more. I would love to ride in a private jet. I’d love to drive a Lamborghini one day or have a friend pick me up in Rolls Royce for lunch, but those things aren’t important. The important things are simply enjoying the day. Today. Enjoy today. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Would you want to be sitting at the gates of Heaven (or Hell if you’re a jerk) thinking about how you wasted so many days feeling sorry for yourself just because you didn’t have the car you wanted?? You can want better things and should want them because it will fuel the fire in you to make yourself better, smarter, and able to achieve those goals.

The key is to not let it consume you. Being happy with what you have and who you are today is okay. Enjoy the lightening before the storm, the calm moments, and the random good that comes upon you. Want more, but remember to appreciate what you have right now.

FknBucky

24
Apr
25

SET THE PACE

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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The world is a funny place. It can also be scary, insensitive, mean, and completely unfair. You can wake up in the best freaking mood ever and within seconds your environment which includes other humans or animals can suck the happiness out of you like a brand new Dewalt shop vac sucks up insulation. Those new extra quiet Dewalt Shop Vacs are awesome. I’m hoping for a sponsorship so if you know anyone hook a brother up!! If you don’t know anyone, I say this, what good are you?

You wake up with a smile and then it happens. What happens Bucky?? Everything. You stub your toe on your night stand. Step on a lego. Forgot to buy shampoo. Ran out of toothpaste. Someone ate the last apple. The bacon is out of date and smells bad. The trash didn’t get picked up. Someone dinged your car door. You get cut off on the way to work. Your co-workers smell bad, again…. Life simply happens. That smile turns to a scowl. That scowl leads to irritation. You fake a smile and say “I haven’t had my coffee yet..”, but you know inside coffee won’t fix this storm. Bob in accounting laughs and says “I drank the last cup of coffee, but there is tea.” Kill them all the voice says.

Paragraph 3. You made it. The best part of all is it will all happen again tomorrow. Maybe not the same exact events, but things will irritate you until the anger comes. I have a couple of extremely obvious things to point out to you real quick. First one is this. You are not alone. Everyone else is along for the ride, AND sometimes it is your face that Bob sees as you pour the last of the coffee into your cup. Oh not me Bucky, I never cause others to want to smash a hole into the wall…. Liar. We all have our moments. Maybe next time you can start a new pot before you add cream and sugar into your cup. Goes a long way and leading by example is the best way to stop the circle of irritation.

You see the first smile of the day is free. You get to wake up happy if you choose to and you certainly should because the only other alternative is being dead and that sucks. So be happy you woke up every single day. Once you receive the free “I’m Alive” smile, you have to work for all the rest of them throughout the day. The good news is the more often you do it the easier it gets. In fact if you concentrate you can simply keep the free smile on longer and that way you don’t have to work for shii-stuff. There is a secret here I’ll let you in on. Let go of the little things that don’t matter. You have other toes. Be happy you can afford legos for your kids. Toothpaste is overrated. Bacon is well awesome, but one day without it and you might live longer. More free smiles one might say….

Happy people don’t have some magic potion. They don’t have an easier life. They simply understand that smiles equal strength. Anyone can lose their crap every 27 seconds about this and that. Real power comes when you don’t. When you are able to laugh things off. Try it. Watch the reaction of those around you when you don’t react. You might think I’m typing these words out to let you into my club of positivity, but the truth is I don’t care if you join or not. It takes to much energy for me to try and drag you along. The reason I’m writing this is to remind myself. You see tomorrow morning I’m going to wake up and read this blog before I do anything else and it will set the pace for my entire day. I challenge you to do the same thing. I promise if you do, no one will have to drag you anywhere.

And most importantly, share this message with someone else that needs a kick in the ass to get out of the anger rut. Just takes one at the right time.

FknBucky

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05
Aug
24

FRUIT STICKER

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Change. We all fear it. Even I. I love seeing and experiencing new things, but in my comfort zone I like it the same. As we get older we appreciate things more (hopefully) and with that we tend to feel safer with things we are familiar with. Don’t feel bad it is natural and in my opinion, which means nothing, normal. A a quick side note on the things I write. My opinion is mine and I share it in hopes of making others think about what THEIR opinion is. Never let people you don’t know influence your opinion because I assure you they are not thinking you. Okay now back to change. You might have some in your sofa.

I saw a news clip a few years ago that stayed with me for some reason. I think it was just so random, but it made me think which is my favorite type of stimulation. The news crew was talking to shoppers coming out of a grocery store asking this question. “Would you rather have stickers on your fruit and veggies or a laser imprint??” My first thought was NO. I don’t want no mind control crap going into my fruit and vegetables that I never eat. The man isn’t going to sneak that one by me. I’m way too smart for them.

Now I’m older and buy apples, tomatoes, and other stuff multiple times a week. I make the world’s best salsa by the way. Legit. Now I don’t care if I’m being watched by the man from my Envy apples. Did you know the more little white spots on an apple the sweeter it is? At least that is what the sign at Trader Joe’s said. I love that grocery store. Off topic again. If you chop up fresh fruit and veggies the stickers suck. I forget to take them off sometimes, you gotta dig them off with a finger nail, then you gotta stick them somewhere, and to be perfectly clear, I hate those bastards so much. Laser everything. No more eff’in stickers.

This includes people. We can meet someone that is outside our normal and think whew what a piece of work he/she is, but once we are around them more we start to see benefits of a new different friend. By different I mean someone with new crazy ideas, stories, experiences, dreams, perspectives, and love. Try to remember that change slash new isn’t always bad, but an opportunity to that might make things easier and more fun. I’ve found no matter where someone comes from, no matter what they look like, who they sleep with, how they got to me, I can make them smile. I’m pretty amazing like that.

The world is pretty eff’in awesome and full of many different fruits and vegetables. I believe it would be a real shame to not at least try all of them at least once.

Be kind to each other and do random acts of kindness expecting nothing in return.

FknBucky

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23
Jul
24

I wish I was your lover

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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DAMN! I wish I was your lover…..

What a song. Brought back some great memories the other day from a time that seems like yesterday, but I realize it was almost 30 years ago. Some of the girls I went to school with would say “Damn” and then I would sing (very very poorly) the “wish I was your lover” part. It became a thing and truth be told I’m not sure how it started. I think it was because I had a huge crush on one of them, but some secrets are meant to be kept…..

Grandpa was right. Go read a few blogs back if you don’t know the reference. I’m happy for those moments, those times when a song comes on the radio and I’m immediately transported back to a particular night or memory that makes me smile. I’m lucky enough to still have a memory after my 20’s so I count that in the blessing column for sure. We all have bad moments in life and that is perfectly natural so embrace them. Understand that they will pass. This year has been a freaking crazy one for me, but seeing a post on FB about a song melted all the hardship away in a moment. I smiled and life was good again.

A song on the radio. A car driving by. A shirt you see. An old picture in a box you find. A city. I have all of these things and more that remind me of amazing moments I’ve had in life. It isn’t luck they happened, these moments were made possible by showing up to the party, saying yes to that voice in my head, and simply putting myself out there. It is important to encourage the kids around you (your own kids, nieces and nephews, step kids, random D-Bag kid that keeps walking on your yard) to take the chances needed to make these special memories. We all see what happens when kids are isolated.

Sanitarium by Metallica and Damn, I wish I was your lover (kinda forgot about that one….). Chevy Lumina (couple of them). Obviously seeing anyone in a FknBucky shirt!! I have hundreds of pictures in boxes. ROME. These are just some of the special memories that I keep in my head to make me smile when I need it the most. When you have a tough time happening take a minute to go back to one of your special moments and simply smile. I promise whatever hardship won’t seem so hard when you look back at it.

FknBucky

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19
Jul
24

That one thing

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Short, tall, rich, poor, white, black, American, Brazilian, or anything else you can think of to describe what we all are. They are simply labels, but the truth when it is broken down, we are all humans. Democrat, Republican, Independent, or whatever party you choose to be a part of again we are the same. Only our minds are different. That thing inside your head that grows with you year after year. Each experience you have makes a notch in it creating who you are right now. Somewhere along the way a person cared enough about you to make sure you learned how to read otherwise you would be playing candy crush level 4,384 instead of reading this blog. You should call and thank them.

I have a point to this so hang on. People with less actually are able to appreciate the topic I’m writing about. The thing we all have regardless of who we vote for. The thing that so many humans forget to appreciate on a daily basis. We spend each day chasing a dollar, working for the man, being annoyed by those around us, and forgetting the best thing in each of us. What could that be? Simple and it is only one word. Blessings.

We all have them. Are you dry? Cool?? Do you have something to eat today?? It may not be steak and lobster, but if you have a full belly then you are blessed. You may not have a 23 bedroom mansion, but are you in the rain?? I don’t have air conditioning Bucky. Hmmmm. Do you have a fan? Blessing. I don’t have a fan Bucky. Hmmm. Got a window?? If the answer is no then you’re in jail. If you’re in jail stop wasting time reading this and go get a book. Start with this one. How to stop committing crimes for Dumbasses.

I wasn’t going to write this evening, but Annie kept shoving this darn football onto my lap. I was annoyed with her, but then it hit me that instead of annoyed I should feel blessed she wants to hang out with me. Instead of being annoyed with your family after a long week remember how blessed you are to have them. Close your eyes, imagine life without them, take ownership of that feeling, and then remember it every time you begin to be annoyed.

It is proven that people in poor countries are genuinely happier simply because they haven’t been tainted with all the BS some of us have been. They don’t compare their life with a fake family on TV. Instead they care about each other and appreciate the things they do have. I make a point to do that everyday, I always feel better about what I have today, and it reminds me to appreciate everyone I’ve met along the way. Thank you to everyone that has blessed my life.

Feel blessed right now. Be a shame to not be happy with a full belly.

FknBucky

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07
Jul
24

The light (the dark -part 2)

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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Yesterday I talked about being the “dark”, a place that I go alone when I’m angry and feel cheated by life. Truth is I’m not cheated by anything. I chose to ride a motorcycle 22 years ago in horrible conditions when I wasn’t experienced enough to be doing so which resulted in me wrecking and becoming paralyzed. I pay for that decision 24/7 – 365 and will do so for the rest of my life no matter what happens. Prison isn’t even that harsh, my sentence was instant with no jury, and I have zero chance at parole. I accept all of that because it simply is the reality I have.

I didn’t plan to say all that, but it just came out. I just type what my brain thinks and that that is what you get to read when I post these. When I’m in the “dark” as I call it I don’t spend the time sitting in a corner feeling sorry for myself. I simply can’t and you shouldn’t either. I work. I spent time cleaning my bedroom, bathroom, and living room this past weekend while being very aware of how much time I was up in my wheelchair. The pressure sore dictates that, but I also swapped out my cushion for a heavier, but much better one for skin care which I should have done 4 weeks ago, but I never thought about it. Again I accept responsibility for the problems I face.

Blaming nurses, doctors, or the hospital in my case only leads to anger and frustration which makes solving my hardship nearly impossible. You can always find someone to point the finger at. How many problems do you solve while angry??? Well besides silencing a crap talker. Man I miss punching deserving people in the face. You can also go to a punk rock shows for 2 hours of mosh pit madness to release a lot of aggression. One time we actually fought the band once at the Ogden in Denver. That was an awesome show I saw with two Daves, a Skot, and Uncle John Jameson. Anyway. Violence is bad or something.

Here is the ultimate point. Do something. Keep moving no matter how slow it is. I fixed my wheelchair while in bed leaning to the side staying off my skin. I could have been crying, cursing (still was just at the chair instead of God and Big Bang Theory), or trying to ruin other people’s weekend because I was having a hard time. That would have been completely pointless and stupid. I have wanted to fix a bracket on my chair for months, but couldn’t find or make the time. It took me HOURS, but I finally got it perfect and makes I’m so darn happy. I didn’t plan that. It just became because I just kept doing.

The light doesn’t just show up. Nope. There is always work involved. Luckily I learned as a kid that work was good, setbacks are normal, and I had to rely on myself before crying to others. If you work even a tiny tiny bit the light will come. The strength will come. Each time the strength grows. The confidence grows. The happiness grows. Wait for it….. YOU GROW!!

FknBucky

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06
Jul
24

The dark

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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What do we do when the mood is less than great?? When we don’t have a perfect photo to put up on IG or X?? When our friends are doing something cooler than we are??? When our health is hurting and it affects the happiness we wish we could find for the day?? The world tells us to make lemonade. We are told to suck it up and get back out there. FknBucky writes often about finding ways to make other people smile because that smile will come back. Today Bucky says sometimes you have to embrace the dark.

I’m not telling anyone to embrace depression and stay there. That is a very bad idea, but sometimes you have to experience the dark to remember how much you love being in the light. Nobody is “UP” all of the time, no matter how much cocaine you do. Just ask Elmo. My kidney was so infected it killed me the first week of May. I’m used to almost dying so I don’t have the “I’m going to live like no tomorrow BS” anymore and truthfully always have, but it is a good reminder to keep chasing my goals. I had that jerk kidney taken out a couple weeks ago. I was so hopeful for sunny skies and to be back after it again that I had a list of things to get after. Instead life kicked me in the nuts and the face just in case I didn’t get the message. I discovered a pressure sore on my butt.

My happiness deflated instantly. My family all had great plans for this weekend, but not me. I’m still healing from the kidney surgery with literal open wounds and now this pressure sore. I don’t want to say I was in “poor me” area, but more of an “Eff everyone else” area. My phone went to VM (I don’t listen to them FYI) and I had a couple pissed off days. I needed to accept this in my mind, formulate a plan to fix my problems, and then come out with a true I will over come this attitude. I will get this to heal and accepted my role in allowing it to happen. We all have to understand that spending some time in the darkness even on 4th of July weekend if needed be isn’t a bad thing.

This isn’t an easy thing to share, but I promised to be honest with everyone that reads this. I don’t share to hear the comments of “you can do it, you got this, or the stay strong”….. While those are not bad and needed sometimes, I’d rather hear/see “me too Bucky, I understand this, and glad I’m not alone” so that others can feel safe embracing the dark, but remember to not get lost there. You must come back out into the light and trust me you will feel stronger and refreshed. Being depressed/angry at hard times is natural, but those feelings will never solve the hard times. For that you need positivity, strength, and loved ones around you.

FknBucky

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There will be a part 2 tomorrow. Trying to keep the blogs shorter.

Remember to share this for others that might need to hear it.

25
Jun
24

Going In

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Hello my friends. I have been so busy trying to keep my life in order it has been difficult to find time to write on here. We have been recording podcasts the last week and I remind you I’ve only been out two weeks from my near death experience hospital time. My stupid arm is still numb and the shoulder hurts when I use it. Funny thing about being paralyzed. If one of my arms doesn’t work, I simply roll in circles which is an issue for me.

So in about two hours I will be arriving at the hospital to have my left kidney taken out. We’ve been together for 45 years. Longest relationship I’ve ever had, but like a few of my other ex’s that bitch has been trying to kill me. I’ve said in the past “It is time to cut the drama from my life”, but this is the first time it is literally happening. I’ve had surgeries before, but I’m truthful on here. I’m a little scared. This is the first time a major organ is being taken out. They tried to take my left nut about 15 years ago, but like the rest of me (minus this stupid wimp left kidney) it was too strong to quit and came back. My balls are awesome.

I gotta get dressed for this. I love you all. Thank you for all your support and well wishes. Looking forward to writing again soon. Please go to YouTube and watch the podcasts. Episode 24 is so funny. I love it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lo_0BeK2nYk

Take care of each other and let go of petty BS. Life is too short to carry anger around. Show love and forgiveness and you will have a happy experience on this beautiful planet. Travel. Enjoy. Smile. Talk to people that are different from you with an open mind.

FknBucky

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02
Jun
24

No More Air for FknBucky

By Bucktown 2 Comments
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Let’s face it you are all a bunch of sick puppies that want to know the details of FknBucky almost dying. You will get them because I promised to always be honest on here. It has been a very dark road and one I wish I could have avoided, but I will make jokes cause that is what I do. If I was about to be shot in the head, I would ask the shooter to promise to tell the hospital that I did NOT die of Covid. It is just who I am. Marry a funny man if you want to have a fun life. I’m taking apps (women only), bunch of savages….

FYI, My hand and arm are still numb and won’t work correctly. My strength is about 40%. Prayers and respect to all Quads. If you know a Quad or see one, give them an hug and say how amazing their strength is. Some of the strongest people on Earth. As my hand comes back I’ll be able to type and blogs will come faster.

On to dying. I was at home for days stuck in bed feeling sick. I couldn’t get up to take Annie outside or feed her. I could not get up to use the restroom properly and my home became a complete mess. It was overwhelming in so many ways and very disheartening to a person like me that demands the best from myself. To no longer have the strength to live with the independence I cherish came very close to crushing my spirit in the ultimate way. It hurt so much inside. I don’t care about pissing on myself as it happens when people get older and when a person is a paraplegic. The disheartening and soul crushing part was not being able to clean up myself.

My Mom (Carol – Thank You so much) came out to help after I admitted I was in a bad way. My breathing was horrid. I’ve been doing it for 45 years, but for some reason I could not get air. I had to sit cross legged with my head down to breathe. Imagine having to stay in one spot/position to get air. It sucked. Life was happening around me, with people coming and going, the lawn being mowed, packages coming, and I was a statue taking small breaths to simply stay alive. After a week, I called an ambulance. Have I ever mentioned how stubborn I am??

In the ER they found my kidney to be infected again. WOW. I could have told them that. I go thru the motions and get checked into room 7911. Small room. First time in my life I had…. Who knows. I started that sentence earlier and can’t remember what the heck I was planning to say. Oh now I do. Oxygen. First time they put the oxygen on me. It was weird. Didn’t get me high though like they say in fight club. Stupid hospital oxygen. I spent days in that room stuck in bed. No moving just fighting to breathe all day and night. Ma spent the night because it was so rough. My eyes were yellow, body beaten down, very little humor or smiles from me, just pain, hurt, and worry.

Day 4 or 5 I was up again. No sleep in the hospital. NONE. Remember my spasms were going crazy the entire time. They always wanted to lay me flat on my back , irritate the kidney, and make my legs & stomach go insane. My stomach spasms are so strong I can’t breathe when they go. It becomes a clamp on my lungs that makes taking a breath impossible. Think about how scary that would be. Sitting there minding your own business and WHAM you can’t bring air into your body with no idea when it will stop. Now imagine it happens a hundred plus times a day/night.

The clock was 6 AM. The nurse and doctor were talking about discharging me that day. My Mom and I insisted that would not be good for me. I told Mom that I would die if they sent me home as I could feel a lot was wrong still. Everything they were doing was not improving my situation. I couldn’t breathe and my spasms were still going crazy. Remember I had been struggling to breathe for weeks, but now it was real. I was gasping and using all the tiny bit of strength I had to get the smallest amounts of air. It is a crazy feeling to try so hard bring air in and get nothing over and over and over and over…. I was getting legit scared. I have a lot I want to do yet in life. I don’t want to die, not like this…. A fast car on a mountain road, spontaneous combustion, a crazy ex-girlfriend and a kid that ain’t mine, or my favorite going out with a smile at a decently old age after giving away every penny I have to those less fortunate than I am.

The more I struggled the more people came into my tiny room to watch me die. The door was a huge wooden one that the nurse and doctor kept shutting very hard which loud noises make my spasms go off making it double hard to breathe again. Once the doctor came in yelling at me and Mama bear yelled “Hey watch your TONE!!!” My Mom sat back and told me to trust the doctors, but when it goes too far this Farm Mama will stab you with a pitch fork.

Breath so bad it deserves 3 pictures.

The big time doctor came in. He had scrubs on and was a, well male, so you know he was in charge.. Oooo that will get some all stirred up. RELAX. Women are super important. Who else would hold stuff while the doctor works???? He was right up in my grill and clearly ate dog poo for breakfast. Worst breath ever. I was dying. He kept telling me to breathe but I was trying to blow his shit breath away. Take air in, no way, not smelling like that. Here comes death. All the money and time to train a doctor they can’t have one day to learn how to pop an ALTOID before getting in the face of a dying person. Heck, you have a woman right there ready to hold them for you. Ha.

If you mad at a couple men/women jokes this blog is going hurt long term. Take a breathe. Smile. See how easy that is. I couldn’t do it the other day. Don’t get upset at stupid words. If you do, you’ll never have a happy day. On to my death.

I had to see my Mom’s face as I going out. No one should ever have to see that. My Mom’s sad/crushed face while smelling shit breath from a doctor telling me to breathe like I somehow forgot in the last 6 seconds. Pretty much the worst way to go. I couldn’t speak anymore. Not sure if I would have said if I could have. Maybe “Goodbye Ma or Someone got a tic tac for dog shit breath doctor here??” It is a toss up. Then I ran out of gas. Completely. I stopped breathing. I had not one more gasp in me. I just stopped.

FknBucky

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26
Apr
24

My Friend named Grandma

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NEW PODCAST on YouTube and on your favorite podcast app. Simply search FKNBUCKY. Please like, share, and comment. Together we can do something great and change lives with positivity!!!

Just boarded another airplane for another flight home.  I’ve done this dozens actually hundreds of times before, but today is different.  I’m flying home to say goodbye to one of my dearest friends.  I’m so thankful for the time I was able to spend with her and will remember all the wonderful conversations we had over the last 20 years.  For those of you that know me personally you know I have friends all over the world and I’ve been blessed to have so many of them.  This friend was all alone in her category simply because of her name.  Grandma.

I have always been close to my Dads father.  I was named after him and that was a small club to be in.  I probably don’t deserve his name as he was one of the greatest men I’ve ever known.  When he was 80 yrs old I watched him carry a large metal tub filled with corn down to the hog barn to feed the chickens.  Ha.  Just kidding.  There are pigs in the hog barn you fools!! When I would visit my Grandparents, Grandpa and I would sit at the table having tea and thoseamazing chocolate chip cookies only Grandma could make, while G-ma waited on us.  Naturally most of the conversation was between us men.  It was just the way it was.  I mean we all know the golden rule.  Women have to be quiet while the men are talking.

My Grandpa passed away 17 years ago and while back visiting Grandma she mentioned she is awake until 2-3 am most nights.  I started volunteering at the children’s hospital in San Diego around this time.  Every Tuesday night I would open and run a playroom for the kids to get out of their rooms and have some fun.   My drive home was 30-40m min and almost always after 9 PM.  I like to talk to people when I’m driving, but 9 PM is a little late to call friends to just say “hey”. One night I thought Grandma is awake, I’ll call her.  I called, she was up, and we had a great talk.  As time went on, week after week, I would continue to call G-ma on my drive home. She looked forward to it and so did I.  Something happened during those calls.  My Grandma became my friend.

She told me so many stories. How she first knew my Grandfather was the man she would marry.  He was at her place to help do some sort of work and as he left the house with the others, my grandma handed him a pair of gloves and their hands touched.  Not a quick touch, but long enough to gaze into each others eyes and decide I’m going to marry this person.  Simpler times.  A hand lingering just long enough to relay the message, but not too long to be creepy. 

She told me about her wedding day.  They were going to “honeymoon” in Waterloo planning to eat a fine dinner and then going to see a movie.  For reasons not discussed the young married couple were running late and had to smash a couple burgers quickly so they could still make the movie on time.  The best part was the happiness in her voice as she relived these memories with me.  I felt and still feel honored she shared these stories with me.  I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to know her so well. 

Grandma had so many pictures and was a rock within the family.  Doing all she could to keep the family together having family reunions and always encouraging everyone to let go of the anger, be open to kindness, and forgive when necessary.  It seems fitting that our whole family will be brought together one more time by Anna Pearl.  I can envision her and Grandpa (together again!) looking down at us all with smiles knowing they did their best for their family and I’m not alone when I say THANK YOU to both of them. 

Just part of Grandmas super army. Love you forever Grandma.

I will say this.  MAKE the time to talk with people you love.  None of us are that busy we can’t put forth the effort.  Well so and so never calls me, why should I reach out to them???  Why shouldn’t you??  Whatever happened let it go.  It isn’t worth dragging that anger anchor around with you.  Don’t you want to be free of this pissed off attitude that sucks up all your energy so you can stay mad???

I loved my Grandmother without question.  She was a remarkable woman.  All that came natural.  I’m happiest though knowing I took the time to make my amazing G-ma my best friend while I had the opportunity.  She taught me so many lessons that I will use the rest of my life.  Many times people will say I didn’t know what I had until it was gone.  I have learned very hard lessons that way, but this one time I got ahead of the game.  I made sure to appreciate my friend everyday. 

The world lost a bright shining light of a human, but heaven gained an angel that will forever be looking down at our families. 

That is what I wrote on the flight out.  I’m currently on the flight back to Charlotte. At the visitation I went by, but purposely didn’t look into the casket directly.  I used a bit of side eye, then closed my eyes, and said a private prayer between Anna Pearl and myself.  I didn’t want the vision of her in my head overwhelming all the happy mental pics I’ve taken of her during my life. 

My family is far from perfect.  My Grandma wasn’t perfect.  I am so far from Perphekt that I have to spell it wrong.  I might name one of my kids that actually….  Truth is like all families there is some drama and blah blah.  I don’t involve myself in that.  Some people need conflict and thrive on it.  I’m not one of those.  I prefer if something has your panties all wadded up, say something, get it off your chest, and then move on. 

The celebration of life was awesome.  Many of my family members made the trip home and we got to visit, laugh, and enjoy the moment.  Anna Pearl got us all together one last time.

We are all going to miss her, but I’ve promised myself to replay the great times in my head and share the advice, family history, and the wisdom my dear friend Grandma passed to me.

I love you Grandma and Grandpa.  So happy you are together again.  I promise to do my best to encourage everyone to drop the anchors and be happy again.  At this stage of the game no body is changing.  Just accept your family members for who they are and simply love them unconditionally.

Thank you,

FknBucky

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