Posts Tagged ‘charlotte

12
Feb
21

Pick It Up.

Yesterday we touched on stupid. Today we have stupid, lazy, entitled, jerk face people. I simply don’t get it. I’m glad I don’t understand otherwise I would be one of them. How do you look yourself in the mirror everyday knowing how big of a shit bag you really are. It doesn’t matter if you get away with it, it is a character thing and obviously you have NONE. If you are too lazy to pick up after your dog, do you even feed him/her??? Do you give them water or too lazy to do that as well???

This was just now on the sidewalk in front of my apartment complex. It is so disrespectful I barely have words to express it. I’m trying but in reality this is where violence is a much better choice. I want to grab this persons neck and shove their nose in the pile of dog shit until they get the message. PICK IT UP. I picked it because I’m a good human and to leave it wasn’t actually an option in my mind. There is a poop station 30 feet away with hundreds of bags and a trash bin to throw it away. There is no excuse except you are a self entitled asshole that deserves everything karma decides to do to you. There are no excuses and don’t even try saying I’m sorry when you get caught.

I think this should be a big deal with the city. I mean you can get a ticket for taking a whiz in public. Letting your furry best friend crap in the middle of a busy sidewalk and leaving it should get a night in jail. After you spend the night in jail with some awesome new friends you can spend 100 hours of community service walking around and picking up dog poop at the local dog parks.

I get it. Screw the rest of the world. Let that guy in the wheelchair roll thru it, the young family with a stroller cruise thru some shit, or maybe someone else walking their dog can step in it. You’re too good to pick up poop. Don’t get your little Prince/Princess hands dirty. I wish I knew where you lived so I could bring Annabel’s daily treasures by and smear it on your front door. It happens all the time people not picking up after their dog, but to leave it right in the middle of the sidewalk is a gigantic middle finger to the rest of the world. I’m usually a fan of such things, but this isn’t cool or sticking it to the man. It is a disrespectful FU to the rest of us little people simply trying to walk our dog around the block without getting dog shit stuck in my tire, on my clothes, and eventually all other the damn place.

One can only assume that you are the person driving slow in the left lane, you park in handicap spaces when driving your Grandmas car using the handicap placard thinking you made it in life, and you’re the guy that doesn’t take his turn buying a round of drinks. Keep lying to yourself thinking you are fooling the world and nobody sees the real crap leaving person you truly are. In the meantime I’ll keep picking up after my best friend leading by example and hoping the karma Gods forget about me and concentrate on having birds poop on your head every day.

Do random acts of kindness. The world and your life will be better for it.

FknBucky

21
Feb
20

Parking Madness

FF564D62-FA7E-4BFD-98EA-B8E3602E318DLet’s get right into it. I will never understand the individuals that believe it is okay to park in a handicap parking spot.  I see it every single day.  Charlotte, NC is actually one of the worst places I’ve experienced for this problem.  If you can walk be proud of that shit and walk an extra few feet leaving the close up parking for people that might actually need it.  I tell people if I get my legs back I’ll skip everywhere I go.  Heck, I’ll park two blocks away in the rain just to skip a little further.  Plus no one get abducted while skipping.  It is a safety thing.  Okay back on subject here.  Jessica Alba is so damn hot, wait what was I doing, oh yeah parking….  Seriously what is wrong with your head that you don’t get that parking in a blue man spot, in between them, or in any way screwing them up for people that need them is a crappy thing to do???

281B8AAD-825E-4A8A-9CE4-330CB20742A0I saw this truck today while walking a friends dog.  This might be the dumbest thing I’ve seen since the last time I saw someone parked like this.  Like I said it happens way to much.  I don’t personally care about parking close to the building that I’m trying to go in. I just need the extra space so that I can open my car door the whole way.  When I park in a regular spot someone parks too close to me and I can’t get in my own vehicle.  This means I have to ask a random stranger to back my van out.  I don’t like having random people driving my car ever, as I think all other drivers suck.  My bad I meant to say I KNOW they all suck.

This part is my favorite.  What do you think it is??  Oh yeah the apology.  Which is complete bullshit.  You had the ignorance to park there, might as well own it. Come out and say “Stupid cripples should just stay home” or maybe “Old people are a nuisance and walk too slow, screw them”.  To simply throw “I’m sorry” out when you get caught doesn’t mean a thing.  You’re not sorry you did something awful, you’re just sorry you got caught.  You’ll do it again and again because you simply don’t give a shit.  Don’t act like you do care because if you did, you’d NEVER park in those spots.  It is that simple.

BA6F7B30-ED81-475C-ABD9-AA6591F02B3AMy friends in Charlotte learned how much this happens in the last year.  I would mention to them about the parking lot of a particular establishment we would meet up for prayer meetings.  Yes that is my story, moving on.  After a while they would start to look at the blue man spots to see if they were open or had cars in them that should not be there.  Now they were getting angry.  I have to let it go right after I see it or I’ll be pissed off all the time.  They had to learn this as well.  This problem happens every single day.  Maybe it is because I’m out so often and have more chances to see assholes parked illegally or maybe it is really that problematic.  If I let a parking issue ruin my day I would have A LOT of ruined days and per the last blog I’m not willing to give these idiots one of my days.

In life we all have to decide what kind of person we want to be.  This is not difficult.  It is as simple as parking in a handicap spot or not.  If you park illegally in a handicap spot you are choosing to be a shitty person. Enjoy that.

Think about it.

FknBucky

25
Jul
17

From Target with Love

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Let me be the first to say that my sister has done an amazing job with her two boys.  I absolutely loved having them come visit. That goes for all of my nieces and nephews.  Very proud of all 137 of them.  Or something like that. You would think my brothers and sisters would find a new hobby…

 

I told you the other day I would relay a couple of fun stories that happened while the nephews were here in the QC.  This would be one of those, at least I find it funny so I hope it gives you a smile today as well.

 

The boys and I had to swing by our local Target store to pick up some ping pong balls. I mean what is a trip to visit Uncle Bucky without learning the art of beer pong??  Don’t worry I made sure no one was looking when they did the drinking. I’m not an idiot.  We walk into Target and I needed to use the gender-neutral restroom. No one will ever know what I’m packing….  The boys stay outside with Murphy (my service dog) and hang out.

 

I come out of the restroom and an eloquently dressed lady looks at me and says, “Those are two fine young men you have there.”

 

I said, “Thank you”

 

Now we walk into the store area and need to cross in front of all the registers.  You know where the most people are gathered and I would certainly estimate at least 30 of them including our new nicely dressed friend.  I’m in front of the boys and rolling along nicely with Murphy still thinking “hmm they really are good kids” when I hear it. The younger one lets out a grunt that only men can distinguish immediately.  I stop and turn around already knowing what I’m going to see.

 

There is bean boy on his knees holding his God given bean bag with a red face going “Ugggg.”  Next to him is his brother with that look on his face.  You know the one you make at 2:30 AM when you pop out of your blackout and everyone is staring at you.  Okay maybe you don’t know, but it is a “what I’d do face times 1,000”!  He doesn’t get the blackout excuse yet though because we hadn’t even started beer pong!

 

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My immediate reaction was WHY??  Thru gritted teeth I’m expressing my extreme appreciation of the situation with selected words and of course the eyes that say all.  Everyone is staring and my two fine boys are now a couple of ball punchers.  Only took a matter of seconds to change that around.  While on the floor as I’m letting blackout boy know he is going to die later, bean boy looks up and says “It’s okay Uncle Bucky.  He owed me!”

 

Time and place boys.  Time and place.

 

I’m sure those of you that have young boys have similar stories.  Just had to share this one.  Remember sometimes the punch in the nads you receive is simply payback.

 

Enjoy your day.

FknBucky

24
Jul
17

Part 2 (Eat Your Beans)

blond with bulldog

 

Yesterday I described a teachable moment I had with my nephew about why sometimes adults make kids do things that they don’t want to, starting with something simple like eating a spoonful of beans.  The world is a funny place sometimes, and in my experience, everything just works out if you’re patient and let it.

 

The next day after our “bean talk” the nephews and I were getting ready to take Murphy to the park.  By ready I mean I was in my car, AC running, and about to pull out of the parking lot.  This is the male version of ready, not the female version where almost ready means still have to shower and do hair/make-up, BUT she does have the outfit picked out.

 

Now the nephew for the week prior to this moment had bonded with an upstairs neighbor who happened to have a bulldog.  He loves bulldogs and was very sweet on the cute blond owner as well.  He is a good nephew.  The cute blond comes up to my window and asks if I’ve seen the maintenance men.  Something is obviously bothering her.  I tell her no, roll my window up, and drive away as fast as possible.

 

That wasn’t true.  I told her no, and then asked what the problem was.  There was a spider in her bathroom.  She needed to get ready for work, but as we know most women don’t like to share a bathroom with creepy crawly things.  For the record NEITHER do I.  The nephew hates them as well, but he really liked the blond and the bulldog.  Real pickle for the young man now.  Hence another teachable moment.

 

I tell bean boy to get my chair and let the blond know I’ll come up to see if I can help.  Between you and I, I wanted to grab my 12 gauge and just pump five shots thru the bathroom door before I enter, but that isn’t very manly.  Darn testosterone.    The nephew comes with knowing as I do battle with the spider he gets to flirt with the blond.  I’ve taught that kid too much I’m starting to realize as I put this story down on paper.

scary spider

I enter the apartment, look to my right, and see the bathroom.  Blondie points and says “it’s in there on the counter by my jewelry stand.”  I go in and close the door so that no one can see the EWWWW face I make once I find this spider.  And then it happens.  I see the Count Dracula of spiders!!  It had fangs, mean eyes, and 47 legs.  It used to have 48 but lost one battling a tank in WW2.  I’m thinking what the beep did I get myself into.  My first thought was, offer the boy to this creature as a sacrifice, and get out of there.  Then I thought about those darn beans.  Me and my big mouth.

 

I made eye contact and it snarled at me.  Not willing to back down I said “Hello kind sir, sorry to bother you.” I was using an ancient orient distraction technique while grabbing some toilet paper known as “grabbing some toilet paper to kill spider.” It worked.  He never saw it coming, well until he did, and then I had to chase that sucker all around the counter top praying it didn’t fall in my lap.  That would have resulted in me squealing like a 7 year old girl, urination of my pants, and NEVER making eye contact with the blond neighbor again.

Luckily that didn’t happen and I killed the spider.  For you ladies yes, I could feel him squish as I, just kidding.  Of course, I teased the blond and told her that I got spider parts all over her jewelry because that is what guys do.  It is our reward for coming to the rescue.  Plus, I just really like to mess with people.  She was very grateful and repeatedly said thanks while bean boy and I made our exit.

 

On the way back down I asked him “do you think I wanted to come up here and kill that spider?”

He said “No, but sometimes men have to do things they don’t want to.”

 

Funny how the world will present opportunities for us if we just take the time to recognize them.

 

Enjoy your day.

 

FknBucky

23
Jul
17

Eat Your Beans

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I recently had the pleasure of hosting my two nephews (10 & 13) for a little over a week here in the QC.  We had an amazing time with lots of laughs and in the future, I’ll share some of them with you.  We did all kinds of things including kayaking, paddle boarding, whitewater rafting, zip lining, drinking beer (that one was me), and just living.  We also went to visit some very good friends of mine that cooked up a barbeque with ribs, homemade mac and cheese, and of course some beans.

 

My youngest nephew was having the time of his life until he saw those beans.  It was like someone told him that Hillary actually won.  Ha ha. This isn’t political, I’m just having fun with you.  He dreaded those beans with true fear on his face.  I pride myself on being the cool uncle and play that role incredibly well if I may say so.  With that being said, it would have been very easy for me to say don’t worry about, you don’t have to eat those.  Why fight it?? SO much simpler and I get to be COOL.

 

I like being a prick though so I made him eat some beans.  It was comical.  They were pork and beans and he ate HALF a bean at a time.  Gagged and chugged water afterwards.  I was dying inside.  I’ve never seen anything so funny. I almost gave him another scoop just to keep the party going.  4 hours later (slight exaggeration) he finally finished his beans and we said thank you and goodbye.

 

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While we drove back to Charlotte a real conversation about life sparked up and I make a point to always be honest with the boys.  I told my nephew that I didn’t care if he ate the beans for dinner as it had nothing to do with that.  He asked “Why make me do it then?”

 

I told him “Because you’re a man in training, and as men we have to do things we don’t want to do all the time.”

 

Some of you get it and others think that he is only 10.  Let him be a kid.  Here is my answer to that.  He is a kid while swimming, playing, hanging with his buddies, and all the rest of the day.  If the adults in his life don’t teach him that sometimes you HAVE to do things you really don’t want to, how is he going to be a functioning adult.  God willing he will grow up to be an adult, but that doesn’t make him ready for the world.

 

If you don’t learn to overcome LITTLE things in life, how are you going to react when the world throws real problems at you?? I’ve had my fair share of challenges in life same as you.  Everyone has setbacks, beat downs, and sometimes life just kicks you for no reason, but it is how you react to those moments that make you the person you are.  Now at 38 years old I smile and ask for a bigger spoon!

 

I’m glad people cared enough about me when I was young to make me “eat my beans.”  I don’t pretend I know anything about being a parent.  I just know what it takes to overcome and that advice is good for anyone.  You don’t pick up a football for the first time at 26 and then go win the Superbowl right??  Those guys start at age 6 now and train for decades to make it.  Shouldn’t we expect EVERYONE to be training every day to be ready for what life might throw at you.

 

Life is going to come at you that is inevitable.  Rich, poor, black, white, boy, or girl we all know that it will hit the fan eventually. You can sit and wait for someone to “say it’s okay someone else will solve your problem.”

 

Or you can smile, grab a spoon, and EAT YOUR BEANS.

 

FknBucky




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