Posts Tagged ‘children

05
Mar
25

DJ deserves better

Hump day. One of my favorites. I won’t waste a lot of your time today with witty roundabout sentences to get to my point. I spent 7 years volunteering at a childrens hospital in San Diego, opening a playroom from 6-8pm every Tuesday night. It was burdensome at times as anyone that makes any kind weekly commitment can relate to. I grew to love those Tuesdays for more reasons than I can ever put in a daily blog, but that isn’t exactly what I want to speak about today.

Over that 7 years I witnessed children battle horrid diseases for months and sometimes years. They were weak, pale, and moved very slowly while attached to machines that would beep all the time. They wore hospital gowns and slippers as they shuffled from one table to another trying to distract themselves from the crap reality they were stuck with. Those images and moments changed my life and EVERYONE should take the time to volunteer at some point in their lives to fully understand what I’m writing about.

Last night as President Trump acknowledged an extremely brave young man who has had 14 brain surgeries in his young life. At the age 8 years old DJ Daniel was diagnosed with brain cancer and I wouldn’t wish this battle on anyone in the world, and certainly not a child. DJ doesn’t vote. He isn’t a republican. He didn’t ask to have this fight. In fact he isn’t supposed to be alive. He was told he would die in 5 months, but somehow by the grace of God or Big Bang Theory this young man has defied the odds and was able to attend the joint address by President Trump last night.

I’m disgusted that anyone refused to stand, refused to applaud this incredible American, and acknowledge the strength he has shown to go thru everything he faced over the last 6 years. I’ve gone into surgery, faced death, and been in the hospital for months and I’ll tell you it sucks. It is scary. The world carries on while you’re stuck in a bed. You can hate President Trump all you want, but to not give this young man the respect he is due is indefensible. Anyone that tries to defend it can go love themselves as the Beibs would say.

President Trump was just parading him out there for propaganda Bucky! Who cares?? Does that mean his story is less incredible?? Would anyone have heard about it if he wasn’t mentioned last night?? I try to find positive things to write about and this is a positive story, but unfortunately 1/2 the room is so blinded by HATE they couldn’t see it. If this country can’t stand up together and say “We love you” to DJ then we have no hope to ever come together.

DJ doesn’t set foreign policy, he doesn’t set immigration policy, he doesn’t work for DOGE, he doesn’t vote, and he didn’t deserve to have 50% of the room sit stoically while the rest of the country cheered for him. I’m glad he had this moment. I’m so grateful President Trump took the time to honor this incredibly brave young American. If you’re not, I believe it is time to look in the mirror and ask yourself where things went wrong.

God Bless you DJ. Keep fighting as millions of Americans are behind you, praying for you, and hoping that dream of becoming a law enforcement officer comes true for you.

FknBucky

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13
Feb
25

a poo story

Imagine you get up at 5:40 AM, eat some quick fruit, do some exercise with dumb bells, a bit of yoga, and then after a few more bites of fruit take your bestie out for a morning walk. The world is very wet from 24 hours of rain the day before, but at least it isn’t falling from the sky. My fur coat wearing friend takes off running for the park area only pausing at each drive way to see if I’m going to yell or let her go full speed today. It was a full speed kind of morning.

I only throw the frisbee for a good 10-15 minutes because my receiver has had a bum leg for the last few days and today was the first day back in action. I’m stoked. Feeling great to have so much accomplished and the day has barely even started. My spasms have been SO MUCH BETTER since getting the kidney out in July allowing me to actually exercise and have a life again. More on that some other day.

I see Annie drop some treasures by the mailboxes and like I do every single time, I make my way over to pick it up. I am obsessed with picking up after my dog simply because I can’t stand other people that don’t. I don’t want to be a hypocrite so wheelchair be damned, I’ll get that poo. I’ve fallen more times than I’d like to admit, but luckily that didn’t happen today. Nope I did not fall out of my chair picking up dog poo.

I did however roll thru some other persons dog poo getting to my dogs poo. I didn’t realize it of course until it was all over my wheels, then my sweatshirt, my gloves, and finally the rest of my clothes. If your windows rattled in NC this AM it was probably me yelling “Oh darn”. I’m pretty sure I saw some children start crying at my “darns”. Children know more curse words than I do.

I was pissed. I started to yell at Annie even though it wasn’t her fault. I stopped and realized I was allowing something stupid to mess my day up. What is the point?? The person who left the literal crap behind didn’t care I was mad. They will most likely never know cause they suck. Karma should kill them. Soon I hope. I stopped being mad, but never said I wasn’t holding a grudge.

I went home, stripped down (let that image soak in), got into the shower, pulled my wheels in and scrubbed them down, dried everything off, and in about an hour was all cleaned up. It took longer than just swapping shoes like most people if they step in some dog poo, but my life carried on just fine. I thought of the monk carrying the woman and decided to leave that shit where it belonged. Behind those mailboxes three blocks away.

FknBucky

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17
Mar
21

RIP Sabine Schmitz

I don’t know if you have ever watched this show, but I have and love it. 51 years old is still too young. There was a time in my life that I thought I didn’t want to live past 25. I almost made that come true crashing that darn motorcycle at 24. I think back and catch myself thinking how much it sucks to have wrecked that bike and become a paraplegic, but I have to be realistic and remember that I was a pretty crazy guy back in those days. If it wasn’t the bike it would have been one of the other 100 crazy decisions I made on a weekly basis. Want to know how crazy I was back then ask around. I’m sure there are plenty of people with FknBucky stories. Where do you think the nickname came from???

Back to the show. I love it and this particular clip with Sabine driving a transport van at these speeds just make me happy. I would gladly go for that ride any day. I love going fast. I love when my heart beat increases and one wrong move could mean death. I am never more alive than in that exact moment. I don’t know why I am that way, I just know I am. I did the ride along in a Nascar, but was bored. I literally let out a couple of fake zero emotion “whoohoos” just because I felt sorry for the guy driving. He thought this “cripple” was going to have the time of his life, but in reality I kept thinking this is stupid, I want to drive. The highlight of the day was the anal cavity search I underwent while two clueless guys tried to lift me over the wall to get onto the track. I would have liked dinner first, but like usual they just raped me and left me. Bastards.

The 35 other people waiting patiently in line had no idea it was 2:1 day at the track. Getting to ride along in a real NASCAR and seeing FknBucky’s bare white ass all in one morning. Must have been a very special moment for all of them. Back to my girl Sabine Schmitz. Watching the clip above just made me smile. I wish I could have met her in person because people like that are rare and I always enjoy hearing stories from people that are willing to push the line. I have this feeling our three week love affair would have been special. Meeting women like this is always awesome, but after a couple weeks when we remember our personalities make it impossible to settle down. I have lots of great memories for the two weeks of madness. I’m a Leo, we burn hot and fast, but always need more fuel…

I hope watching the clip gives you a bit of inspiration to chase a dream you have. For a woman to be a respected race car driver is no easy task. Things are a bit easier nowadays, but there is still a lot of proving to be done before anyone is accepted in that small group of people. Words don’t mean a thing. You still have to prove it on the asphalt which is where the truth always comes out. The truth always has a way of showing up at the most in opportune times so be careful if you stray from it. Sooner or later it will come out. I can only imagine Sabine had a dream and went for it.

She lost a battle with Cancer. I hope someday we can find a way to cure it. I used to volunteer at a Childrens hospital with many of the kids having this awful disease. It broke my heart every Tuesday. With adults you simply hope they enjoyed their life as much as possible in the 51 or whatever years they have. When it is an 8 year old boy/girl it just sucks that much more. It simply reminds all of us how fragile our lives really are. In no time at all yours can be taken. Don’t wait for the right moment. Create the moment. Encourage those around you to shoot for the stars. Help when you can. No better feeling in the world than watching someone reach a goal that you helped get them there. Enjoy the moment with them, but leave your part out. Don’t expect a shout out every time you do something kind.

This incredible woman should be celebrated and losing her so young is a reason for us all to mourn. Chase your dreams, they go by fast so you gotta be ready, and live everyday like it is your last. This doesn’t be reckless and stupid, but rather question what is it that makes you truly happy. I love to make people laugh and write. I have no formal teaching for either of those. I’m shooting from the hip on this whole blog thing, but it makes me happy. No one is going to agree with me 100% of the time, hell I don’t even agree with me 100% of the time. I look back at things I wrote and think “Damn that was stupid”. Admitting mistakes and learning from them is the best education you will ever get. Can’t make mistakes to learn from if you never get into the game.

Drive fast, take chances.

FknBucky

11
Mar
21

TV people suck.

These people are not real life. They are a bunch of over paid blank-heads that make money telling you how to think. Don’t fall it. They sit on top of their fake thrones pointing out the errors of everyone else while on TV for 12 minutes a day. Most of these elite somethingHOLES can’t find a true thought inside of their own head if you offered to double their salary. They say what they think people want to hear or what the media werewolves will let them get away with. Heaven forbid you have an original thought and decide to voice it. The PC police have serious power right now, but you’re too lazy/stupid to notice how it might be a problem. We will deserve the world we create. It isn’t funny that China/Russia/North Korea doesn’t have to do a damn thing. You’re willing to vote all your rights away simply because someone gets offended every 10 seconds.

Here is an actual thought for your over inflated self importance head. These offended, angry, and cancel everything mobs are NEVER going to stop. If they even take a pause they become irrelevant. They are a flesh eating bacteria of society. Every day they have keep eating, taking, and hating because whatever happened yesterday can’t scratch the itch today. Want to know how it stops?? Stand up to stupid. Say blank off when they come at you with this BS. I’m trying real hard to not leave the curse words. I’m editing them out, but you know my 4 letter words were flying out this AM. Maybe I’ll be canceled before I get started. Here is a ginormous thought that might hurt your tiny always offended mind. You can disagree with your friends. In fact it is healthy to do so. Your mind is a muscle and unless you use it, it will grow weaker. Sitting around a bunch of people that agree with everything you say makes you lazy and eventually stupid.

This is what happens with these TV people. They are their own little circle and if you step out of circle the firing squad is circular. They will all trample their own children running to a camera to be the first to call you a racist, homophobe, misogynist, or any other label they think will get them brownie points with the other morons on TV. They are just stopping people who say mean things Bucky. Really who gets to decide what we hate today??? Why don’t you goggle societies that canceled people, banned books, and stop people from being able to say whatever the heck they want. You want to put a pillow case over your head and scream about how much you hate people that look different than you?? Knock yourself out. I support your right to say whatever you want. I don’t have to listen to it. I am certainly not going to allow you to say it standing on my property, but I will defend your right to say it to the death.

Free speech means FREE SPEECH. Not sometimes free as long as I agree with everything you might say. We allowed a sitting president to be censored overnight and people cheered it. You allowed your personal feelings to control your actions while TV people backed up you up. Let’s go burn some witches cause that was agreed upon as well so it must have been the right thing to do. You’re an idiot, you’re a self entitled jerk, and you truly think your fellow Americans are complete buffoons that can’t be allowed real freedom because they are too stupid. Not worried?? If they can do that to the President (the office, not the man) imagine what they could do to you?? Me?? Any other person you care about. Trump is gone, but they won’t stop, they can’t stop. Don’t worry morons, random talking person on TV will let you know what you can believe and say to become a good little robot/citizen. Don’t rock the boat or you’ll be thrown overboard. To that I say “I’m fat and I float.” If you pansy asses can lift my fat ass then anchors away baby!! I don’t want to ride in your floating hellhole of intolerance, greed, and self righteous BS.

I disagree Bucky. White Supremacy is wrong. No shit. If it was a multiple choice question it would look like this:

White Supremacy is ______?

A. Wrong

Yep only one answer for that one. I wish it would go away and maybe someday it will be gone, but in the meantime as an American you’re free to be the biggest idiot in the world. You’re also free to disagree, not listen, and spend your Saturday across the street from his/her house with a sign that says White Power is bad. Defending someone’s right to say something does not equal you agreeing with the filth that may come out of their mouth. Remember this though – You don’t change peoples hearts by passing laws, canceling them, or by trying to “out hate” them. You want to change someones heart?? Go give them a hug and tell them you love them. Sit down and have a real conversation so they can see exactly how stupid their ignorant thoughts really are. The cancel culture will never tell you how to actually change things because they NEED you to hate or they no longer exist. For once in your lazy thinking life take a step back and look at the whole picture.

This Meghan broad has me all twisted up. I mean come on. Let’s take a quick look. Famous actress – Check; rich with money – Check; Marry a real life prince and become an actual princess – Check; and lets not forget cry to all TV people about how awful your life is. She just wants to be left alone Bucky. BS. You don’t marry the Prince of England if you want to stay out of the spotlight. How does anyone fall for this crap?? Someone (can’t say who) made a comment about what shade the baby might be. Cry me a river. In my family we would place bets on stuff like this. Think about how does this end?? You just went on TV telling billions that your in-laws are monsters.

That is not a good way to get invited back for Christmas dinner. We all know to go and sit down with baby shade guy/gal and have a conversation explaining why that is offensive to you is obviously not the right answer. Nope can’t get sympathy poor me points doing the intelligent thing, no freaking way are you going to miss the opportunity to tell Oprah how mean the world is to you. I hate this chick. She sucks. Talk about missing the mark completely. She had the opportunity to do so much being a person of color that just married into the British Royal Family, but actually fixing things doesn’t get the spotlight on you. I guarantee deep down Harry is like “Son of A…”, how did I get wrapped into this crap sandwich??

This is the best example of what I talk about almost daily. You can choose how you react to things in life. You can look for ways to be happy just as easily as you can find things to be angry, offended, and miserable about. No way Meghan was actually suicidal. She still has drug and alcohol abuse sympathy points to get (3-5 yrs from now) and lets not forget the divorce of the century in 8.3 years. You heard it here first. She has hit the lottery in life and this is how she reacts to it?? If this royal treatment is so difficult give it all up and work double shifts at IHOP to make ends meet. Guarantee that doesn’t happen.

So be kind to everyone. Definitely be kind to those you disagree with. No one can argue with kindness. Remember you aren’t doing it for them, you treat people with kindness for what it says about you as a person. Your character is more important than allowing yourself to be dragged down in the gutter arguing with people who don’t think like you. No you hold out a hand offering to pull them out of the mud and join you. It won’t happen overnight but eventually the gutter people will take notice and think I want to be up there with that kind SOB. Looks nice up there in no hate land.

Enjoy your life and spend time everyday helping others learn to enjoy their lives. And STOP letting the TV tell you how to think.

FknBucky

06
Mar
21

Royals

Another crazy week ending today. I kept my fat ass upright for most of it so that is a win in my book. I’m sure many of you have been glued to the TV, Websites, and every other news source following the historic events going on. There is no neutral ground you have to be on one side or the other. When things this serious are going on it is important we include the children so they can learn how to take sides and hate everyone that doesn’t agree with them. What is the point of having kids if you can’t brainwash them to think exactly like you?? I am too smart to pass on wisdom so I had to make the hard choice to not have children. That and the girls that told me they were having Bucky’s baby also screamed ”I’m carrying the son of Damien” (Gwen year 2000), Son of Satan (1998), and who can forget “This child is going to grow up and be an asshole just like you!!” I’m actually pretty proud of that last one. You know as Satan I only make babies, not take care of them. Wow that escalated quickly. Even for me.

Taking sides. That is what I was talking about. I’m not talking the JV bull crap, but the real game. The Royals. Are you on Meghan and Harry’s side or the other ones. I don’t know their names cause I don’t care, but there is Queen never gonna die, guy who divorced Diana marking him as forever Jerk, The bald son (Not the Ginger one), and Kate Middleton (of course I know her name she is hot. Idiot) who has the insane hot sister named Pippa. I will always takes Pippa’s side. If she comes out saying we need to start eating children I will be like how you like yours?? Medium Rare?? I got you baby. Think I’m joking. Need a babysitter?? Nothing like fresh off the grill children burgers. Damn I didn’t know I could escalate further! I’m not even writing a third paragraph. I’m scared of myself at this point.

Skipping this one.

Okay 4th paragraph. Hopefully I can stop being crazy now. I will tell you what I think. That Meghan Markle chick is evil. She got her nasty claws into Prince Harry and now he is screwed. I’m sorry, but if you are going to marry a woman she should get along with the rest of your family. Or at least some of it. For crying out loud she should be liked by at least one person in your eff’ing life. I’ve seen it before. Friends that get so wrapped up in a relationship for a gazillion wrong reasons and they can’t see past their own dumbass to get out. Some of them eventually saw the light and others I still don’t get to talk to. I never married mostly because I didn’t want to ruin some nice young ladies life.

Dang it so off topic. That girl is awful. As someone that has been called the Devil on more than one occasion I can see that this chick is the real deal. She is a bitch. Sorry ladies, but there is no other way to describe her. I honestly hope Harry gets out of that somehow, but it seems he is in too deep now. When your wife makes it so you can’t have a relationship with your only brother that is a problem. They are royals. The biggest waste of time and money on the planet. It only averages about 500 million a year. Why anyone gives a crap what these people do is beyond me. Tell them to get a real job and spend the hundreds of millions on homeless people or children. Fatten them little kids up…..

Why are Harry and Meghan running around trying to get paid for stuff??? Do royals even pick up the tab??? Why do think they just take whatever they want a weird group of people rush in later to handle the bill. Does Prince Harry forget his pin code??? CBS paid them 7 million for the interview that I will never watch. That figure was in the title of an article that I did not read. Nor will I. I don’t care at all except to have a blog topic to hopefully make a couple of you laugh. That and I have been trying to find a way to use the term Child Burger for a couple weeks now. It isn’t as easy as one might think…..

That brings us to the ending. Some quick bullet points to remember. Meghan is a Bitch. Harry is a Ginger that is a sucker for a bad girl. The Queen is a vampire and will never die. She is actually quite amazing and if you read (more than this crap blog) books you should read one about her life. Amazing. Will and Kate got it made. They just have to do nothing insane and the whole world will look at them as the normal nice couple. This Meghan woman married into the biggest megaphone on the planet. Take up a cause that is not all about YOU! Nope, she is on the ME ME ME highway with no exits coming for a long time. Hopefully she runs out of gas stranded on a deserted island (yes I know how stupid that sounds) and we can forget all about her. Harry should not go on road trips with Meghan for a while. Oh and Pippa…. Call me.

So Pick a side and take notice how disgusting a person looks making everything about themselves. Be smart, be kind, and be a constant warrior for helping others. Your life will become better overnight and you’ll start having these weird feelings of being proud of yourself.

Be Kind to others simply because of the feeling you get doing so.

FknBucky

Disclosure **No woman has actually been pregnant with my baby to my knowledge.**

14
Feb
21

Cancel Valentines Day

Valentines Day. Great. Single people take the day off. I’m actually good with that, but I was curious how it all got started. I assume it was a money thing where companies like Hallmark lobbied people in the government to make a holiday in the down time between New Years and St. Patricks Day. Forcing men everywhere to buy a card or face the wrath of a woman that is not happy. I googled Valentines Day to learn the origin and I kinda wish I hadn’t, but I’m going to share with you because it is what I do.

There are a handful of stories that differ a bit so I’m just going to take the craziest one I found and run with it. Feel free to tell others later today using my opinion as absolute fact. Just like the rest of your life do NO research and simply believe what you are told. How is that working out for you?? If you are able to read between the lines I’m saying “read a book dumbass” because people don’t tell the truth. They tell parts of truth while making themselves or a group they are invested in look better in the eyes of the person hearing their story. You don’t have to worry about that here though. I will never manipulate facts to make me look better simply because I’m already perfect and trying to improve greatness like me is impossible.

So this Valentine guy (referred to as V Guy now) married an eleven year old hag who’s best days were clearly behind her. It gets weirder so hang on. In our cancel culture I have no idea how the “hate everything” mob hasn’t gotten a hold of this yet. So this V Guy is no stranger to married life though as he was first married to his 17 year old cousin when he was 12. They had to wait a year cause marrying an eleven year old boy is not acceptable. Thank goodness they had rules. He must of had a good time though because his first wife died giving birth. V Guy’s first wife was in fact already being recycled since she was actually married at age 6 because that is not weird. Age 6. I want to puke.

We fast forward to V Guy being 21 and marrying his 11 year old wife. At some point he was arrested for being something, but it wasn’t for being a pedo which makes me sad. While in prison he sent a poem to his young wife which is said to be the first “Valentine” and started the trend we still follow today. Here is that poem:

My very gentle Valentine,

Since for me you were born too soon,

And I for you was born too late.

God forgives him who has estranged

Me from you for the whole year.

I am already sick of love,

My very gentle Valentine.

Our guy was imprisoned for 25 years and never saw his young bride again as she past away before he was released. They had no children together. I don’t want you feeling bad for V Guy though because once he was released from prison he got right back on the Pedo horse and married a 14 year old girl at the age of 46. They had 3 children together. His children were name Cory, Karen, and Billy. I completely made those names up. Feel free to spread it around as factual though,. I’m okay with that.

I do not write this up to make light of Pedophilia because I would never ever do that. I have no sympathy for people that hurt children in this way or any way. In fact they should lose all rights including freedom forever. No second chances. Keep them in jail, kill them, put them on an island somewhere, but never ever let them back into society. I honestly don’t care what we do with them, but allowing them the opportunity to hurt an innocent child again is something we can NOT allow.

What I do make light of is the fact that regardless of what tradition we have or celebrate there will be some really bad shit that happened prior. The world and humans were awful when we look back at history. This being said, it is what it is. We can’t go back and change it now. We have evolved and eventually got it right. This will continue I hope. Maybe 700 years from now people will look back on us thinking what a bunch of barbarians. I’m okay with that as well. Things don’t change overnight, but the fact is they do change. Take pride in that. Looking back at history sooner or later we get it right.

So maybe stop trying to cancel everything and use our past to teach those that will mold the future. That is a powerful sentence so read it again. When we ignore the past, we ignore the lessons that were learned from those mistakes allowing the human race to evolve for the better.

So put something sexy on, light a few candles, and enjoy the day.

Remember to do something kind for NO reward. Just because it makes you a better person.

I appreciate you all.

FknBucky

I got my information from this web page if you want to go look at it. https://www.history.com/news/historys-oldest-known-valentine-was-written-in-prison

20
Mar
15

Dropping the Cross

What a cross looks like to some people.

What a cross looks like to some people.

I rolled into the children’s hospital after an exhausting day of work. It was Tuesday night again. After closing real estate deals all day, I was prepared to help others find a brief moment of freedom from their troubles. I started volunteering to open a playroom once a week after seeing a need while visiting a friend’s child that became very ill.

Spending time with those kids became my escape for the week. One I always looked forward to without fail. I am a T-4 paraplegic (paralyzed from the chest down) and love spending time with young people. These kids just happen to have had life altering illnesses or accidents. Despite the adult sized problems they faced, these children just needed someone to pay attention to them and make them laugh.

I enabled people in my professional and personal life to see past the wheelchair by showing them the person I am instead of letting them concentrate on the hardware I use. This allowed me to quickly see past any problems those kids had. Opening the large security door I saw a girl standing near the back of the room working on something. After volunteering for two years, this was the first time a patient was in the playroom when I arrived, this told me instantly her situation was special.

The machines are what stood out to most people at first glance. A tall white pole with hooks at the top and four small black wheels on the bottom for balance. Two different IV bags hanging from the top with tubes running into the tiny frail arm that had yet to experience so much in life. The beeping from the blue box shaped monitor that kept track of her vitals like heart rate, blood pressure, and whatever else the nurses needed to know at a moments notice. It was a modern day cross this child had to drag around as a constant reminder that she was not well.

The girl wore Spongebob Square Pants pajama bottoms with a hospital gown covering her top. From the side I could see where the gown was tied in the back exposing bits of skin to the chilly air of the hospital. The air conditioner seemed to never take a break in this Southern California environment. A pink bandana on her head seemed to be decorated with Hello Kitty, but I wasn’t positive and truthfully didn’t care. To know for sure meant I would have had to stare and that wasn’t something I was willing to do. Tied on like a Harley Davidson biker would have worn it, this one covered her balding head that had lost most its hair from months of painful treatments. Plain slippers covered her feet that stood next to the black wheels of that damn IV pole that was never more than inches away.

I wasted no time and went straight up to her. Looking at the table before her, I saw a large piece of red construction paper, about three feet by three feet with what looked to be random pictures strewn about it. I said “How’s your day gorgeous?” A shy girl, beaten down by life and sickness, about twelve years old, struggled to get out the word okay while never taking her dark sad eyes off that table and those pictures. The child life specialist next to her gave me an awkward smile, but I would not be shut out. I came to this children’s hospital every week to make sure these kids could check out for a couple hours, laugh at the crazy guy in a wheelchair, and even if for a brief moment, truly forget the life and death struggle they faced on a daily basis.

I inquired. “Who are the pictures of??
“My brother and me” she replied in a barely audible voice.
“Those are great pictures. Are you at Disneyland??”
“Yes”
“Whom are you making this for??”
“My parents”

I knew I had to work harder to infect her with what I was carrying. I am contagious and giving up was not an option. I rolled closer to her, smiling the whole time, knowing that the positivity and happiness overflowing out of me was exactly what she needed.

“I’m a good looking guy, do you think I could get a couple pictures of me in your collage?” I asked.
She looked up for the first time and looked into my eyes. She saw me looking at her. Not at the machines, her sickness, or her situation, but simply looking at her and cracked a small smile while saying “Maybe.”

She could sense I was being genuine, slowly started to open up, and we began a real conversation about anything other than why she was in the hospital. I asked about this picture and that one pointing to them and waiting to hear the story behind it. Within minutes those sad eyes opened up, showing signs of life and happiness, and soon, filled with the positivity I had shared with her.
“What was going on in this picture?” I would ask.
“We had just rode that rollercoaster and my brother was dizzy so I was laughing at him. He was such a wimp when it came to the fast rides.” She told me.

She would pause from time to time, reliving the moment in her mind, before continuing to tell each story. The ice cream break when she got chocolate and her brother got vanilla, the sandwiches for lunch in the parking lot, and the constant begging for her brother to go just one more time on the rides that he didn’t like so much, but ended up going on anyway to please a younger sister.

The wall she put up to guard herself crumbled. She felt like a normal kid again, forgot about the situation she was in, and let go of the cross she was holding. The machines melted away, the lack of hair no longer mattered, and standing in front of me was a girl. A beautiful girl with sparkling eyes, memories to share, and the courage to ask the obvious question.

“What makes you think you are so good looking??” She asked.
“I um… well I…” For a quick-witted guy I had no words. She got me good there and we both busted out in laughter.

The whole hospital world was gone in an instant while we played with those pictures and told funny stories. It only lasted for about fifteen minutes, but it is a memory that will never leave me.

As the young lady left to have dinner the child life specialist told me it was the first time she had seen her have a genuine smile and truly laugh in months. The brother in the photos had passed away four months earlier of the same disease she has. My heart broke in two. I’m glad I didn’t know sooner. Everyone that looked at this broken hurting body saw this horrible situation instead of a beautiful child that just needed to laugh. It is one of the happiest memories I have spending with another human being.




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