Posts Tagged ‘Dad

28
Mar
25

ENOUGH

Saddle up boys and girls. Today is a strong message that has been 46 years in the making. Your attention span is short so I won’t waste time playing with your mind while I finally get the to point. I recently went to Washington DC and absolutely loved most of it. My hotel was insanely expensive and the staff was 50% stupid, but that makes sense because half the government is made up of morons. We can argue which half another day because your opinion like mine means nothing. This message today is for 100% of the people so I hope you find some pride in it and possibly share it with others. Yeah I’m asking for you to spread these words I’m writing today. Please.

I called my Dad and told him I was in DC. He immediately asked if I was going to visit the Vietnam memorial or wall as some call it. I’m a bit ashamed to admit that I hadn’t thought of it before he asked, but I’m sure I would have. My visit there was very last minute and my first goal was to see the White House. When I got off the phone I wondered how I could be so dumb to not have that as my first stop, but I’m far from perfect as all of you already know. I decided then to do something special although I wasn’t sure what that would look like.

My Dad aka My Hero graduated high school in 1967 and I doubt any of his teachers would have called him gifted in academics. Ironically the movie the Graduate came out in 1967 FYI. College wasn’t in his immediate future, but I can attest that the man is incredibly smart when it comes to things that matter. You want it fixed, he can do it. You want it shot, he will hit it with the first bullet. You want a story told with pizazz, he is your guy. You want someone with heart to listen to your problems, there isn’t a human alive with more caring in his words. With college out of the question and a questionable night driving a fast car he was volunteered to the ARMY, 1st Air Cavalry. This country was at war in a far off place and he said “I’ll Go!”

What happened over there was awful. I’ve read many books to try and understand what he went through, but none of them are enough. I call it the great/horrid theory. Try describing a great sunset to someone that wasn’t there even with pictures. You always end up saying “you had to see it, the pictures don’t do it justice.” Now think about someone trying to describe absolute horror. Even with pictures and all the adjectives in the English language we can’t begin to understand the disgustingly awful things these 18 year old boys had to endure. The books I have read made me want to throw up and that is just someone relaying the experience. You can’t let experiences like those go no matter how much substance you take. Some went to drugs, some went to alcohol, some just took their lives, and all of them lucky enough to come home were forever changed.

I decided to make a sign and hold it up at the wall as a tribute to the sacrifice my Father and others made in that far off country that now manufactures corporations products dirt cheap. We can talk about that second part another day. 58,220 Americans died in that awful war. Many of you, like me read that number and breezed right by it, but when you see that wall with the tiny letters engraved into it and how freaking big it is that number hits different. Very different. To me I saw 58,220 families that never were. FknBucky’s that never got to get born because they were lost in an argument. It makes me cry when I think about it. My father was one of the lucky ones that survived and was able to over come all of the horrible he witnessed to start a family. That doesn’t mean he is perfect. In fact he will be the first to admit he made mistakes along the way, but he is still here which is a testament to his incredible strength and I love him for it.

I drove to Staples and got a large poster board, a metal sign stand, and some markers to take back to my hotel. I then made my sign free hand and accidentally drew the N backwards as you can see in the picture. I should have bought a spare board, but sometimes when things are done on a whim and from the heart they are imperfect. I then headed out from my hotel for the 1 mile journey to the Vietnam memorial with my stand, poster, and service dog. I didn’t really take into account how difficult that was going to be, but I had already committed. I know this is a long blog today, but I assure you the ending is worth it so stay with me.

I rolled up and found a respectful place to set up. I started to pull things out, put my stand together, and purposely kept the words hidden to not spoil the surprise. It was about 1 PM, the sky was blue, the air was about 60 degrees, and the memorial was quite busy with spring break groups walking by constantly. I saw some kids place letters at the wall like the one I photographed above. I finished setting up, Annie sat next to me, and we quietly watched people walk by. I was sweating and nervous thinking “what the F am I doing??” These people are going to laugh at me, they won’t get it, some might get mad, I should just take a photo and leave. I didn’t leave. I stayed and smiled at people as they read my sign.

It read: These Men Died, My Father Survived, I hope I’m, ENOUGH

It didn’t take long for people to smile back. A few men wearing Veteran hats gave me a thumbs up. Soon a Vietnam Veteran came by to thank me for what I was doing. He said he thought it was going to be a pro Hamas sign, but showed a large toothless smile when he read what I had written. A good number of people stopped to ask me about my Dad and eventually told me to thank him for his sacrifice, some asked me why I made the sign, and some tried to put money in Annie’s water bowl. Haha. I didn’t accept any money, but was appreciative anyone would want to give and asked them to buy a homeless person a meal instead. There are a lot of homeless people in DC so they didn’t have to go far.

Many people looked at me and mouthed the words “You are Enough”. I want to stress that I am blessed to be here. I’m blessed to be my father’s child. My life, like his, has been full of hardships, but it has also been a beautiful journey of happy wonderful times. My father taught me to focus on the good in life, he taught me to face my problems head on, over come them, and then let go of the bad. He taught me to find the humor in everything. Those words are much easier to say than do, but we never stop trying. Those people were right. I am enough, but more importantly so is my Father.

This photo is my Dad’s 70th birthday. This man has made a large impact on many lives.

This blog, like my day in DC, sitting in the sun at the Vietnam Memorial is a tribute and dedicated to Victor McKinley. My hero. He is enough. He always has been.

Thank you Dad for being ENOUGH.

FknBucky

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My friend Ryno’s Uncle: ROY L GRIFFIN JR – It was my honor to find his name and take this photograph. Please REMEMBER his name and if you want please share this blog as a small tribute to the 58,220 men and women that gave their lives for our freedom.

12
Apr
22

Driving Stupid

I got the RAGE. The road is mine. “Get out the way B___!!!” as Ludacris would say. I’m not alone as thousands of videos on youtube show idiots freaking out over driving issues. That in itself is the problem. I drive a lot. More than most people I know. I drive to work as I cover North and South Carolina for a sales territory. I also drive back to the midwest to see family a few times a year. I’ve driven from coast to coast multiple times in my life along with from Canada to Mexico/Gulf. What is the point of that?? Point is I’ve driven a lot. Stop interrupting me.

I see it every day. People out driving that would be better off thrown into a small box and left in the jungle somewhere far far away. Actually that would be a waste. We wouldn’t want that so we put them in a box, cook them in the sun for 5-6 days, and when nice a ripe we feed them to cannibal tribes in Brazil. It is a win win. I see you. I watch your crap car switch lanes. No blinker. No plan. Just you driving like all the other cars are simply obstacles. You can’t be bothered to think about the family in the car you just cut off. You got no time to think about the 52 year old man that is just trying to get home after working a long shift. His wife and kids have no other income as they are living paycheck to paycheck, but you don’t care because you have need for speed.

I watch as you swerve into this lane and that lane. Going up three car lengths to slam on your brakes when you finally see what the rest of us see. Traffic is backed up. Nowhere to go regardless of how many people you cut off. You try to do 85 mph on the freeway when traffic is moving 50 mph. Obviously you are a brain surgeon needing to go save lives in your 2001 Honda Accord. My guess is your meth dealer called and said he will meet you at the truck stop your Mom works at as a Lot Lizard. Yeah I went there.

I watched this happen on the way to the VA yesterday. Two cars could not accept that traffic was heavy. They came on about exit 60 going very fast to merge into traffic that was not going very fast. Both cars had to brake hard to not ram the cars in front of them. 4 lanes of traffic all going the same speed. I like go fast too when traffic is light, but I know when that isn’t happening. We’ve all seen these drivers who are happy to endanger every person around them to get 40 feet further. It is stupid beyond all. If you do this you are STUPID. Both cars exited on Exit 70. 10 miles. They maybe got a 1/4 mile further along than I was.

That quarter mile. What is that in the time of life clock? 10-15 seconds. Heck I’ll even be generous and say they saved a full minute driving recklessly with complete abandon for anyone else on that road at that time. You got away with the swerving, bumper riding, crap selfish driving this time, but what about the next time. It is a habit because you’re STUPID. You do it everyday, multiple times a day, year after year, and somehow you still have the balls to say ”It was an accident” when you cause a wreck and kill someone. Is that 1 minute worth a persons life??

Tell you what. Do me a favor and let me know which person you care about in your life that we can sacrifice so I can start driving like a jerk as well. If you are willing to gamble the lives of people I love so that you can get your precious minute then you got to ante up. Doesn’t sound so cool when you think about it in real life terms. This isn’t Grand Theft Auto where you simply crash, jump out of the car, and steal a new one. There are no extra lives for the people you hit or the people you supposedly love riding in your car. If you drive like this with your kids in the car you are a special sort of STUPID. Not only do you endanger them, but you are teaching the next generation of STUPID.

People die because of drivers like this. Kids, adults, Moms, Dads, and families are ruined for your precious seconds. Seconds. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10…. That amount of time cost someone their life by a STUPID driver. Slow down, let that car merge in, enjoy life instead of riding a bumper in front of you screaming at the driver like they care or can hear you. I hate the cars going slow in the passing lane as well, but when traffic is heavy it doesn’t matter. The next time you catch yourself doing these things remind yourself that no amount of time is worth a life. How much are you willing to gamble??

Be Safe my Friends.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

P.S. I’ve written about this before, but the message should be taught to EVERYONE that plans to drive or ride in an automobile. I ask that if you read this blog and agree please post a comment or share it. Please love yourself and others enough to let the minute go. Better yet ask your dead self if the 15 seconds were worth it.

03
Dec
21

Tragedy and Smiles

I want to share a story with you today. A very important one that I hope will open your eyes, your heart, and help motivate you to count your blessings instead of constantly wishing for more. There is a club that no one wants to join. There is no name for it, it has no leader, and it is guaranteed that all members wish they could unjoin. It is a club of tragedy. Accidents that change the body is the cost of membership. I became a member April 1st, 2002 and have been dealing with it every single day since. This isn’t my story though.

I volunteer because I am able to help and I know that. I offer my everything to the people I talk with at the rehab hospital. I will answer any questions no matter how personal, help with any equipment they may need or want to know about, and I’m happy to talk with family members that want to learn/understand how to best help the loved one that is going thru this physical nightmare. I’ve probably talked with at least few hundred confused/scared people over the years and I’m very proud of that.

Travis and Staci Hoyle gave me permission to use their real names in this blog. Travis was injured a couple months ago and is currently using a wheelchair. I want to express one thing here very strongly. It isn’t your business how it happened. Don’t ask. Ever. It is not okay. Don’t say I’m one of those people that just blurt it out. Travis will tell you if he wants to. Instead do something easy. Talk to him like you would without the chair. He is the same person today as he was 6 months ago. Bust his balls, call him ugly, give him a hard time about driving a Nissan, or whatever else you normally do.

The Hoyle’s have a tough road ahead. It isn’t impossible, but it is hard and they will need that 4 wheel drive of his F150, (it is actually a 2004 Nissan 4×4 Supercharged) to get thru it. “Travis made sure I corrected that.” I have no doubts that they will. This is a strong family from what I have seen. Leave your pity at home. Nobody needs that crap. Bring your happiness, smiles, never give up attitude, and instead of asking for details on what happened say ”I know you got this and I’m here if you need anything.”

I see strength, fear, and determination in Staci and Travis’s eyes. It is okay to have fear because everything is new and we fear what we don’t know. The strength they have has nothing to do with lifting weights. True strength is in a persons mind, it is strong to accept reality, it is strong to smile first thing in the morning and say I can do this, it is strong to remember you’re not the only one going thru this, and most importantly it is strong to acknowledge other people are hurting as well. Pity parties are stupid and worthless so have a strength party. Challenge everyone around you to use the strength God gave them to overcome this obstacle. Once again I will say I have no doubt they will overcome this, but friends and family have a HUGE role to play to make that happen.

Unfortunately bad things happen to great people all the time. It is unfair and makes me want to scream at nothing sometimes. 20 years of membership and yes sometimes I still have moments of extreme weakness and anger. The key is to not live there. Accept the emotions, work thru them naturally, and get back to living your best life. Avoid the ”what if” hole because it simply leads to depression, anger, and regrets. What if I didn’t go, what if I didn’t stop for coffee, what if I didn’t date her, what if what if, and more what if. That is pointless because no matter how much you torture yourself it will not ever change the outcome.

You don’t have to be Travis and Staci to use the advice above. Everyone has hardships in life, hardship plays no favorites, and facing it head on is the right course of action. There is a benefit for Travis on Sunday. I’m told the 300 available tickets sold out very quickly. Money is always welcome and helpful, but kind words and genuine caring is fuel for the fighting spirit alive inside of Travis and Staci. This is not an easy road, but once again it is not impossible. The only thing different is Travis got a lot shorter and won’t be running up any stairs for a while.

Remember as this battle goes on that smiles and laughter are okay. In fact they are a must. Focus on the things that make you smile. Watching your kids succeed at anything. Holding your partner in front of a fireplace on a rainy night. Laughing with your friends while telling old stories. One of my best friends growing up and I would always yell when Welcome Home (Sanitarium) by Metallica came on. It is a random thing, but after my accident while having a tough moment in life that song come over the radio. I was instantly transported back in time and smiled gratefully that I was still alive to enjoy that memory. It is okay to be happy while dealing with tragedy. To this day every time I hear this song, I’m instantly 19 years old again, yelling at the radio with my friends while drinking a Busch Light.

It is easy to find reasons to be unhappy, mean, and ungrateful. True strength is when you put all those aside and find one reason to smile. You only need one. Kids, wife, family, friends, pets, food in your stomach, warm place to sleep, and so on. You can choose to be happy in horrible situations. In life when we are forced into situations beyond our control it is important to concentrate on the one thing we always have control of. Your Attitude. It is easy to smile at the end of the trip, but more important to keep that smile and positive attitude going during the journey no matter how long it may be.

I hope everyone who reads this will share it. You never know who needs to hear the message above. If you can donate money please do and then share this message. If you can’t send money I only ask you share this message so others will see it and be able to help.

Count your blessings. Be grateful for the people in your life. Truly grateful for them.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

We still need Justice for Ryan Cooper. Please come forward if you have any information. As Russell Crowe said in the Gladiator “We will have our vengeance, in this lifetime or the next.”

20
Jun
21

Loss of a Brother

I’m trying not to puke or punch someone in the face. That is the text back I got when I asked someone about Ryan. I like everyone else am in complete disbelief. Never in a million years would I have thought something like this could happen. Not in Traer. Worst thing that usually happens is a bloody lip from a disagreement at a keg party. We are good old boys. Work hard play hard. Up at dawn, work all day, and then drink some Busch Light with the boys at night. Growing up, marriage, having kids and the responsibilities that come with those things takes away the beers with the boys time, but there is a brotherhood, a bond that gets created and once a member you are always a member. Time and distance do not cancel the membership.

Time goes by, stories get more colorful, the truth gets stretched a little further, our beer bellies get bigger each year, but the brotherhood never waivers. It doesn’t matter if I saw you last week or ten years ago we start up right where we left off. I chose to move away and haven’t lived in Traer for 20 years. Doesn’t matter I’m a lifetime member. Money can’t get you into this club, there is no leadership, and no real rules to follow except simply be a decent human. The biggest unwritten rule is when your friends come over to help you get a job done, you had better have plenty of Busch Light on ice in the cooler for when the tools get put away the beers start cracking open.

We lost a great brother the other night. I can’t think of a kinder man who could have been the face of our unofficial boys club. I met him long before I moved to Iowa. I remember he had a motorcycle when we were young and I thought that was so cool. Our Dads knew each other growing up so when we would visit Traer, we would sometimes stop at the Cooper farm. Dad and Jan would drink beer and reminisce while Ryan and I would stay under the radar doing what boys do. Cause a ruckus somewhere, but try not to get caught doing it.

Like all of us in life there are ups and downs. Ryan was not immune to the rollercoaster life, but he always had a smile and was a good friend to anyone that needed one. Like everyone else in Traer I’ve spent the last two days reliving the memories I have of him. I can’t remember a time where he was confrontational with anyone. He wasn’t weak but rather so easy going that there was never a need to embrace conflict. I’ve known a few people like this and it is special. I think that might this situation even harder to understand. How can someone so good at avoiding conflict have something like this happen in our small town?? The hardest part is knowing even if all the answers come it won’t bring our brother back. To say he will be missed is an extreme understatement.

We haven’t kept in touch the last few years, but for a while there we did SnapChat back and forth. Getting Snapchat’s from the cab of his semi truck while he hauled cattle always made me laugh. Ryan was blessed growing up in a family with a solid business helping keep them financially secure, but you wouldn’t know that to talk with him. He never presented himself better than anyone else and worked just as hard as the rest of the crew. I admired that quality as I’ve met plenty of men that sit back counting Daddy’s money as if they accomplished something.

I know that the Traer community along with the unofficial brotherhood there will step up and help his family get thru this. I can’t fathom what they must be going thru at this time. As my friend in the beginning of this blog said “I’m trying not to be sick” as this situation leaves me lost on what to do. I’ve traveled more than most, made friends from all over the globe, and appreciate them all. The bond that one makes with friends growing up is the strongest friendship bond there is. I’m no stranger to tragedy, but this one is so unnecessary and sudden that it is incredibly hard to accept.

Ryan Cooper will always be a member of the Busch Light Brotherhood (I know how cheesy that sounds, but I had to call it something) in Traer, Iowa. He will never be forgotten and the character I knew him to have will be honored. My heart is completely broken when I think of his boys having to continue growing up with only memories of their Dad. I know there are plenty of good men in Traer that will make sure they understand how great of a man their Dad was. It is times like this that I really dislike living so far from home, but my feelings of sadness and anger with this situation are like I never left. It hurts my heart and it sucks. Things like this aren’t supposed to happen to us. This is something you see in the news happening somewhere far away.

I know the community there will rise up to help his family because that is what small town Iowa does. My thoughts and prayers are with his family. I truly hope they get some answers and over time have some closure. There is no map to follow in a situation like this. You just have to get up everyday, do the best you can, and honor your loved one by living your best life. I have trouble expressing emotions in my real life, but I’ve found I can vent things out with writing. I’m so so so sorry this happened and my heart breaks for the entire Cooper family. The loss of a husband/life partner, a father, son, brother, and friend is such a tragedy. No one should have to go thru what they are, but the strength of that small Iowa farm town and the brotherhood Ryan was a member of will be there to help every step of the way.

RIP Ryan. You will never be forgotten and the memories we have of you will live on forever.

Tell people you care about “you love them” everyday. It is important. Don’t wait to chase your dreams.

WIth a very heavy broken heart,

FknBucky




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