Posts Tagged ‘death

10
Jan
25

Backwards Day

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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Welcome back!! Those are the words I heard when I woke up in the ICU last May. Crazy to think about how far I’ve come since that day just a few months ago. I was convinced I was going to die, that is what happened, but once again I defied the odds and did not. Staring death in the face used to be a huge deal, but somehow for me it feels more like meatloaf Wednesday. Ha. I use humor to deflect if you haven’t noticed by now.

None of us know what tomorrow will bring. It might be crazy, might be mundane, might be memorable, or it might just be another day that gets lost in the sands of time. I sports bet and have the app on my phone that allows me to bet on cricket games in Ghana. I don’t do that, but I can if I wanted to. I do however bet on NFL games and which player might score a touchdown, what team may win, or a QB that will throw for over 300 yards. I win some, I lose some, but I only bet what I might have spent on a night out when I used to drink. My point is I never actually know what is going to happen until the game is played. No one does.

The future is unscripted. Just waking up each day is a blessing and I choose to look at it that way. We don’t know what is going to happen to us each day, but there is something we can control. There is something we can plan, something we can foresee, something we can predict 100% of the time. To a gambler a prediction that never fails is a prayer answered, a dream come true, a Big Bang Theory blessing that once proven would be worth a fortune!! Now in this blog I’m about to give it to you for free. How can that be Bucky?? I’ll tell you why. It is because I love you.

What is this magic you speak of?? What can I control?? Hold on tight and take a deep breath. Your attitude. BOOM. No matter what happens in your life, you have the ability to control how you react to it, how you accept it, and how you treat others around you during it. Much easier said than done. I’m more guilty than anyone of letting my circumstances and environment control my emotions instead of me taking the reins when needed. I’m not proud of that, but I understand it which allows me to change it. You can’t improve yourself unless you admit you have some flaws. Acknowledging your imperfections isn’t a weakness and should never be looked at as such.

Being aware of your attitude is POWER. Who doesn’t want power?? Try not getting angry today. Try reacting to a situation in the complete opposite way your initial emotions tell you to. Someone takes your parking spot, tell them it is okay, they must be in a huge hurry and very important. See the shame in their face as they realize how selfish they are. Your kid makes a huge mess, don’t yell at them, understand they are probably bored and spend time doing a craft with them. Look I’m all for beating kids any chance you get, but tomorrow they will piss you off again and you can scream at them double loud. For today react backwards and see how your family, your colleagues, and the world reacts to you. You just might be surprised.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

P.S. As always if you appreciate this message please share with others. Also I would love to hear in the comments the experiences you have reacting backwards to situations in your life.

25
Nov
21

45 Seconds

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Justice for Ryan Cooper. No one will forget him and we will search for the person/persons responsible forever. The truth will come out and you will be held accountable.

When I write these blogs I have a thought in my head that I can only get out by putting the words down on paper. I think about things constantly as the world around me changes I analyze everything in real time deciding how I feel about it. This is just the way I’m wired I guess and it isn’t changing at this point. The reason I say that is because yesterday was a roller coaster of emotion on my 8-9 hour drive to Alabama to spend Thanksgiving with my brothers family. I lived here for a good amount of time before I moved to Charlotte so quite of people in this small community know me as the better looking, smarter, definitely more intelligent brother.

I witnessed a semi truck drive over a car in Atlanta. I was on the phone with a business, when 2 lanes over (6 lanes at this point) a car tried to drive under a semi and was driven over. My immediate response was ”Oh My God” and I’m quite certain people lost their lives. It looked really bad, my heart broke for those involved, and I thought of their families getting ready for a fun holiday tomorrow/today with family only to have it become a tragedy. I drive A LOT. More than any of my friends. I’ve driven from Coast to Coast and from Canada to Mexico at least a dozen times. I am baffled by the horrible driving I witness daily.

Two hours after witnessing this accident I was caught up in traffic slowing to a stop and for the most part doing 5-10 mph for over 30 minutes. I finally got up to where the accident was only to see it was on the Northbound side of the Freeway. The only reason I was in stop and go traffic for 30 minutes was because looky-loos had to slow down and look at the crap sandwich on the other side of the freeway. I made a very sweet video about my feelings during this situation. If cursing offends you please don’t watch it. I believe in the 33 second video only 2 words are not cuss words. It is mostly for shock value and I hoped it would give my friends a laugh.

I made it to the exit in Southern Alabama and was only about 7 minutes from my LA (Lower Alabama) home. I pulled up to a very familiar intersection where lots of flashing lights were going on as the fire department was out directing traffic and not letting people turn left. I was going right at this T intersection, but still rolled down my window to confirm that was okay. I asked ”Can I go right??” and got this response from a sassy firewoman ”I don’t know, can you???”.

Clearly she knew who I was. FknBucky is famous. Thought you knew. I asked if my not as good looking as me brother was at the accident and she replied ”yes”. I asked if it was bad and she again said ”yes”. Little Brother has been on the volunteer fire department for almost a decade now and has seen a lot of bad things. Being this close to the freeway he has seen things most of us pray daily we will never have to witness. This part of the blog is going to be hard to read. People need to understand the consequences of doing stupid crap in a car.

The driver of the car thought it would be a good idea to pass other cars on this two lane highway. Accelerating to well over the speed limit the driver pulled out in the oncoming traffic lane and started to pass other drivers. I know this stretch of road and there is a town in about 10 miles. Even if they could do 80 miles an hour the whole way a person maybe would arrive 45 seconds sooner, but I’ll let you judge if that 45 seconds was worth the gamble. What is the wager Bucky?? Well, if you win you arrive to the 25 mile an hour zone and stop light 45 seconds sooner than if you had just drove the speed limit. If you lose people in your vehicle die.

While passing the cars it is believed a car came at this car so to avoid a head on collision the driver had to swerve quickly back into the correct lane. When they did this at extremely unsafe speeds this driver drove straight into the back of another vehicle. The vehicle lost control, flipped and rolled, and got all kinds of smashed up before finally coming to a rest. There were very bad injuries to the people in that all vehicles involved. I know of a similar accident where all 4 teenagers in the car were decapitated. Easily avoidable incidents like this happen way to often. In fact a few years ago about a couple hundred yards from my brothers house a group of kids were going to fast, swerved to miss a dog, lost control of the vehicle when it hit a concrete power line pole, and two 15 year old kids died. I wrote about that in a blog the day after.

I would much rather write a blog about being thankful for all the good in your life today. The truth is you should be thankful for everything. Instead I’m awake at 4 AM with this on my mind making it impossible to sleep until I get this out of my head. Just slow down. I see cars everyday that weave from one lane to the next cutting people off, passing on the right, and just driving like an asshole only to take the next exit. If this is you – KNOCK it off. If you constantly gamble the lives of people in your car and the lives of people in cars around you it is only a matter of time that you will lose the bet.

Life is beautiful. It is a gift. It is fragile and NOT guaranteed. It could be over too soon, but gambling your life on the way to Walmart is simply stupid. I write about this with a heavy heart, but if one person thinks about this blog, takes my advice to slow down, and not drive like an idiot it will be worth it. Please share this message with people you care about. The families of all the people involved in the accidents yesterday should be having a great day cooking a turkey today. Instead they are in shock, heartbroken, and possibly planning a funeral. 45 eff’ing Seconds…….

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

Please take a moment to thank the volunteer Firemen/Firewomen and the volunteer Ambulance folks. They see things no one should have to witness and give their time to take care of others.

18
Nov
21

Choose Wisely

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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Justice for Ryan Cooper. We will not stop asking questions until they are answered. I am 2,000 miles away, but I still keep an line of communication with friends in Traer. They are as passionate and pissed off today as they were the day this happened. You can’t hide forever and the truth will come out.

I am what I would consider well traveled. I have barely scratched the surface on how much I want to travel as I would love to never spend a day in the same place. I thrive in this situation. Multiple times in my life I’ve gone on road trips across the USA without a plan. I would drive until dark, find a hotel, and then crash for the night. In the morning I would go to breakfast and ask locals what was cool around there to go see. A kind conversation with a local will always yield some great advice on what to go see. This is what we would do. Spend the day checking out the natural beauty of this world in a town I’ve never heard of and will most likely never return to. Once done we would drive a few hours until dark and repeat the same process. Here is a HUGE sentence so pay attention: ”You are not that busy, life is not that crazy, and whatever you are stressed out about is not impossible.”

For unknown reasons humans tend to build these imaginary walls around them and then complain they can’t get out of the box. You built the walls. You only have to decide to knock them down. Once again I say to you ”It is that simple.” STOP wasting time and days on things that don’t matter. You don’t get it Bucky, my problems are way harder than everyone else’s. To that I say Bullshit!! I can’t pay rent, Bucky. So what is stressing out about it solving?? Nothing. Get a part time job. Cancel cable. Stop stressing and start doing. Okay I’m getting off topic here. Doesn’t make it mean less though. Print this paragraph and staple it to your forehead.

My point today is don’t waste precious time. We don’t know when this amazing journey called life is going to end. I live in an apartment building close to Uptown Charlotte. It is nice enough, rent is fair, and over the last 6 years I’ve had a good number of next door neighbors that I talk to when I see them. My current neighbor is Chris. The day he moved in I was stealing his power. I had a power chair that needed charging in the back of my van. Instead of dragging it out, I used an extension cord, and plugged it in to his patio outlet. In my defense that apartment had been empty over a month so…. I came outside to see my cord unplugged and thrown back over the wall towards my van. My first thought was okay somebody moved in. I knocked on his door and apologized for stealing power. We talked, he explained he didn’t know what to do so he just unplugged it, and then gave me permission to use it anytime I needed.

His name is Chris and he died a couple days ago. He jogged daily and had a beautiful white mutt that he would take with him. Always a kind word and we would chat for a couple moments when we ran into each other in the hallway. Chris was only 26 years old. He was running a marathon which was a hobby of his, and collapsed near the finish line dead. I’m told his mother and step-father were at the finish line of the marathon and witnessed him collapsing. There was absolutely nothing anyone could do. He was just gone in an instant without warning. I can’t think of a more unfair situation. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, how many cool toys you have, or how long your bucket list is because when your ticket is punched, that is the end.

Chris’s death has to be insanely hard on his family, but I hope you, me, and everyone can use this tragedy to remind ourselves to stop waiting for the right time to start living. You have to start today. Right now. No more excuses. Writing is my passion. I love doing it and hope one day I will be good enough to make a living doing it. If you want to help that dream come true please give me 5 stars, sign up to have my blogs emailed to you when I publish one, share it with other people you know, and make comments below.

I didn’t know Chris super well, but I guarantee you that I’ll never forget him. I will use his story to fuel my drive and my relentless pursuit to make my dreams come true. To come full circle and tie in the beginning of this blog with the end I will tell you this. Traveling as I have, talking to people like I do, and just enjoying new people I am bound to know more tragedy. Learning wisdom from other peoples lives is a tool for a more enjoyable life, but you have to be willing to accept the message. Chris died at 26 doing everything right. If his story doesn’t light a fire in you I have no idea what will. You have complete control in your life. Make decisions your 80 year old self will be happy about. No ones turns 80 and thinks ”Man I should have wasted more time stressing over dumb crap.”

I don’t have pictures of Chris so I added one of Annabel. RIP neighbor. A true tragedy.

Learn to enjoy your day instead of constantly bitching about the long line at Walmart, the President, your kids, the neighbor with a loud car, or whatever else gets your panties bunched up. Life is either awesome or sucks. You get to decide. Choose wisely.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

17
Mar
21

RIP Sabine Schmitz

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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I don’t know if you have ever watched this show, but I have and love it. 51 years old is still too young. There was a time in my life that I thought I didn’t want to live past 25. I almost made that come true crashing that darn motorcycle at 24. I think back and catch myself thinking how much it sucks to have wrecked that bike and become a paraplegic, but I have to be realistic and remember that I was a pretty crazy guy back in those days. If it wasn’t the bike it would have been one of the other 100 crazy decisions I made on a weekly basis. Want to know how crazy I was back then ask around. I’m sure there are plenty of people with FknBucky stories. Where do you think the nickname came from???

Back to the show. I love it and this particular clip with Sabine driving a transport van at these speeds just make me happy. I would gladly go for that ride any day. I love going fast. I love when my heart beat increases and one wrong move could mean death. I am never more alive than in that exact moment. I don’t know why I am that way, I just know I am. I did the ride along in a Nascar, but was bored. I literally let out a couple of fake zero emotion “whoohoos” just because I felt sorry for the guy driving. He thought this “cripple” was going to have the time of his life, but in reality I kept thinking this is stupid, I want to drive. The highlight of the day was the anal cavity search I underwent while two clueless guys tried to lift me over the wall to get onto the track. I would have liked dinner first, but like usual they just raped me and left me. Bastards.

The 35 other people waiting patiently in line had no idea it was 2:1 day at the track. Getting to ride along in a real NASCAR and seeing FknBucky’s bare white ass all in one morning. Must have been a very special moment for all of them. Back to my girl Sabine Schmitz. Watching the clip above just made me smile. I wish I could have met her in person because people like that are rare and I always enjoy hearing stories from people that are willing to push the line. I have this feeling our three week love affair would have been special. Meeting women like this is always awesome, but after a couple weeks when we remember our personalities make it impossible to settle down. I have lots of great memories for the two weeks of madness. I’m a Leo, we burn hot and fast, but always need more fuel…

I hope watching the clip gives you a bit of inspiration to chase a dream you have. For a woman to be a respected race car driver is no easy task. Things are a bit easier nowadays, but there is still a lot of proving to be done before anyone is accepted in that small group of people. Words don’t mean a thing. You still have to prove it on the asphalt which is where the truth always comes out. The truth always has a way of showing up at the most in opportune times so be careful if you stray from it. Sooner or later it will come out. I can only imagine Sabine had a dream and went for it.

She lost a battle with Cancer. I hope someday we can find a way to cure it. I used to volunteer at a Childrens hospital with many of the kids having this awful disease. It broke my heart every Tuesday. With adults you simply hope they enjoyed their life as much as possible in the 51 or whatever years they have. When it is an 8 year old boy/girl it just sucks that much more. It simply reminds all of us how fragile our lives really are. In no time at all yours can be taken. Don’t wait for the right moment. Create the moment. Encourage those around you to shoot for the stars. Help when you can. No better feeling in the world than watching someone reach a goal that you helped get them there. Enjoy the moment with them, but leave your part out. Don’t expect a shout out every time you do something kind.

This incredible woman should be celebrated and losing her so young is a reason for us all to mourn. Chase your dreams, they go by fast so you gotta be ready, and live everyday like it is your last. This doesn’t be reckless and stupid, but rather question what is it that makes you truly happy. I love to make people laugh and write. I have no formal teaching for either of those. I’m shooting from the hip on this whole blog thing, but it makes me happy. No one is going to agree with me 100% of the time, hell I don’t even agree with me 100% of the time. I look back at things I wrote and think “Damn that was stupid”. Admitting mistakes and learning from them is the best education you will ever get. Can’t make mistakes to learn from if you never get into the game.

Drive fast, take chances.

FknBucky

22
Feb
21

Time and Money

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Monday. I was blessed to have family in town over the weekend. I love when any of my family comes to visit simply because life short, kids grow up super fast, and it is just nice to recharge with people you love. I am very lucky to have a ginormous awesome family that loves to laugh, eat great food, and enjoy the simple things in life. Mainly because we can’t afford the complicated things so we lie to each other saying this is what we actually want….

Okay that isn’t true. If you have caught on, one of the running themes or things that I repeat a lot is the value of time. It is our most precious currency. You can’t buy more of it, you can’t borrow some from another person, and the clock never stops ticking. I can guarantee you that it will run out. You like everyone else on Earth will run out of time. There are a lot of benefits to reminding ourselves often of this simple fact. You only have so much time. Once you understand this you can move to the next step of saying “I’m not wasting anymore” because wasting time is crazy town.

Compare time to actual cash for a moment here with me. You have $1,000 dollars and you will never get more than that. Would you give $100 to a stranger that disagrees with you about anything?? The keyboard warrior in you must win the argument on FB between you and the 2nd cousin of a guy you used to work with. Here you go Bryan (annoying 2nd cousin people are always named Bryan and they insist on spelling it with a Y) take my money that I’ll never get more of. Money well spent?? Seriously why waste the time and energy??

Now don’t forget poor me time. That is easily worth $250 in our time/money scenario we are currently discussing. How are people supposed to feel sorry for you if you don’t cry to anyone that will listen. Your problems are bigger and harder than everyone else’s so it makes sense to complain about them. Strong sarcasm there if you missed it. It is so important to reflect daily, weekly, and annually to realize exactly how much time you spend on this. I can’t imagine when standing at the pearly gates of Big Bang Theory anyone would say “Wow, I wish I had spent more time feeling sorry for myself.” Get up everyday like a champ with no snooze button, brush the crybaby crap off of you, and go make something happen for yourself. Sitting at home being a keyboard warrior waiting for the “great life stork” to bring you one is a bad plan. A really bad plan.

Let’s not forget the anger and “outrage” that comes up every time you check the news. How much time and money would like to spend freaking out on these things you can’t control?? Another $250?? Maybe only $200 here. I mean hey you got to hate the people that are out there hating. It is a scientific fact that the only thing that will stop hate is “good” hate and you are full of it!! By hating all day you have zero effect on you and those around you. When you are using good hate everyone is in a better mood. More sarcasm. Hate is hate and when you carry it around normal people can see it and they want no part of it. You know who wants to get a look at that hate filled sack on your back?? Other people with hate sacks weighing them down. There is no doubt you start to become the people you surround yourself with. Make sure the people in your circle know how to smile.

We haven’t gotten to actual happy times and over half your money is gone. Remember there are no redos and no ATM to get more when you are running out. Still think it isn’t important to take a moment to reflect on how your “money/time” are being spent?? When you get into a groove in life, each day mirrors the one prior, each week looks the same, and suddenly five years go by and that “groove” is a rut that has you sucked in. With no clue what to do at this point you simply hit the gas, spin the tires like mad, but still only end up in a deeper rut on the same damn road. That’s a bummer man.

How do I get out of the rut Bucky?? I want to spend my money on cool stuff. Good. Spend $300 finding ways to help others. Helping others in life is how you change your life around. I don’t know how or why it works that way, but it does. The more kindness you show, the more help and selfless acts you do for others, and staying away from the hate sack people (I personally love this term now and will use it often) will make your life more fulfilling and enjoyable. Easy way to prove me wrong. Do this for one month and then tell me I’m full of shit. I dare you!

Truthfully I don’t even know if the money analogy works in this blog, but I have no time to think of a new one today. Haha. See what I did there. Time is precious. That is the point. I write this as a reminder to myself more than anything. They say to best way to remember/learn something is to teach it. Whoever they are nailed that one. Although sometimes “they” say eat Taco Bell and that group of they are liars. Just kidding not really. I hate Taco Bell. There I said it. Now my hate sack has a Taco Bell sticker on it. Dang it.

Be kind to others.

FknBucky

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