Posts Tagged ‘family

12
Mar
25

Kill the Messenger

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Do I look fat in this dress?? We all know better than to answer that one, but truth is…. Don’t shoot the messenger one might say. Many people would rather die than answer that question honestly and for good reason, but are they really helping?? Telling someone a lie just to keep the peace can work for a while, but over time heart disease or diabetes could show up. That would be a really bad thing and looking back I bet just about everyone of you would trade that diagnosis for one awkward conversation. The people that wouldn’t have a large life insurance policy on you.

We tend to take our anger out on the wrong person many times in life and that is just human nature from what I’ve learned along the way. I’m not perfect and have had to give plenty of apologies in my lifetime. What do fat men in dresses have to do with your blog today Bucky?? I’m getting there. Stop trying to rush me. See what I did there?? I’m pointing out something really stupid in a roundabout way.

Right now we have a bunch of idiots screaming about Elon Musk like he is some sort of villain. In reality he is simply trying to save us from heart disease. Last I checked Elon didn’t run up 37 TRILLION dollars in national debt. He isn’t even taking a salary unlike the R, D, and I a-holes that ARE responsible for running up our American credit card to a level that is criminal. This is a man that cares about us so much that he is willing to have the proverbial lamp thrown at his head every single day so that we can get back on track and not DIE. He deserves a cape, not a bunch of foul mouth politicians talking smack about him in the news everyday in hopes some lunatic assaults him.

I never wanted an electric car until now. I wish I had F U money because I would buy a Tesla tomorrow. I hope anyone that has pride in America and can afford one does get one. Did you know it is the most American made automobile we have in this country?? Guess how many great paying jobs and families that company supports?? Way more than the Transgender Opera we paid for with your tax dollars in the country of Columbia. That is a real thing he found. If you are in support of that great for you. No one said it can’t happen, we are just saying with a maxed out credit card we aren’t paying for it. I bet not one of the jerks shooting bullets at Tesla dealerships, lighting cars on fire, or even protesting outside of his businesses are willing to write a check to refund those things. Please show me the guy/gal with pen in hand. Just one.

They won’t. How about the Iraq Sesame Street that was funded 20 million with tax dollars?? Please show me the American that will willingly write that check with money they actually work for. Instead they demonize a patriot that volunteered his time to bring these atrocities to light and I’m not staying silent about it. In fact I’m pissed off anyone would treat this man like this.

It is time for everyone to pick a side and for honest hardworking people to say ENOUGH. How about we direct our anger where it is deserved?? At the jerks that caused these problems, funded these asinine projects with YOUR money, have no respect for the time you spend away from your family earning a living, and STOP letting them manipulate us in order to line their pockets.

God/Big Bang Theory Bless you Elon. And THANK YOU!

FknBucky

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Please go to the DOGE website and let me know which project they have cut that you are willing to pay for out of your pocket. I’ll be happy to help facilitate that for you. I know a girl. 🙂

09
Jan
25

A happy plus

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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Hello my literate friends. I’ve got the anger right now so I decided to write, but it might not be what you think so please read to the end. I wanted to write a message about Christmas, then New Year’s, and now I realize we are already past one week into 2025. These days fly by without us paying attention. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and then year after year slip by. I’m 46 now. I’m a plus. What is a plus Bucky?? I’ll tell you. Recently I was on Amazon or something and a chart came up. It asked my age. Here are the choices.

18-25, 25-35, 35-45, 45+

I thought WTF when I had to check the plus box. I can deal with the gray hairs, the aches and pains in the AM, the loss of people I love, but marking that box hit me pretty hard. I thought about my goals, my life, my decisions, and all of the moments I could have done differently. Then I got drunk and texted ex-girlfriends until 4 AM. Just kidding. I’m old and only text until Matlock comes on at 9 pm.

The truth is we can’t change the past. Ever. We can learn from our mistakes and try very hard to not repeat them. That is it. No more. I like to read from a book call ZEN FLESH ZEN BONES and I highly recommend everyone on planet EARTH read it as well. There is a story in it about two monks walking down a road in a downpour. They come across a very beautiful young woman walking in a silk kimono that needs to get across a muddy section. One of the monks simply walked over to her, picked her up, carried her across the mud so that she would keep her clothes clean, and then put her down.

The two monks continued on their way without saying a word. Many hours later as they lay down to sleep the monk that didn’t carry the woman finally had to say something. All day he thought about how his friend had touched a woman when they had sworn to NOT do that very thing. He said “Friend, how could you carry that woman knowing our vows??

As he rolled over to fall asleep the other monk replied “I set her down on the side of the road, but it seems you have been carrying her all day.”

How much do you carry around all day?? How much of it is from other peoples actions that have nothing to do with you??? Imagine if you could learn to leave it at the side of the road. We should always be students, learning to be better at life, enabling us to become teachers to the next generation. If you agree with that statement what lessons do you want to teach?? I would like the people around me to become better than I am, to be smarter than I am, more patient than I am, and hopefully more prosperous than I am in all aspects of life.

I will now tell you why I was angry. My van had an oil leak. I’m told it is common with my model of vehicle and it is going to cost me about $1,000. I pay CarShield $89 a month to cover repairs that come up, but now for the second time in 5 years they denied to pay anything. Had I simply put the $89 a month I pay CarShield into an account I would still have $3,193 AFTER I paid for the repairs needed.

Instead I’ve paid them $5,340, paid auto repair workers $2,147, and have the same result. I’ve cancelled my policy with them this morning and just set up an auto pay out of my account into a new “auto” savings account. Lesson learned. This was an expensive one, but I promised myself not to carry it around with me all day. I’m going to leave it here. It isn’t going to hurt CarShield if I run around town telling everyone how horrible of a day I’m having because of this event. Nope.

I’m going to tell everyone I’m doing great. I caught the leak early before any serious damage was done. AWE AUTO in Traer, IA was able to get my van fixed in a very reasonable amount of time and for a very fair price. Live is good. I have an amazing family, a ton of awesome friends, an amazing furry best friend, a business of my own, my health is great, and on and on and on. So this PLUS is going to smile today, tomorrow, and for the rest of the year. I hope you find reasons to smile with me.

FknBucky

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P.S. I hope you share this with others if you feel the message is helpful. One moment at a time we can make the world a better place.

18
Nov
24

My words are flowers

By Bucktown 3 Comments
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Crash!! It was all I heard. I looked down and saw the broken Corona beer bottle that just whizzed by my head laying smashed on my patio. I thought Hmmmmm beer bottles don’t normally fall from the sky, but I didn’t live in a normal place. No, I lived in paradise which was plagued with beautiful women in bikinis, beautiful women in one pieces, and beautiful women in well everything. I miss La Jolla. I looked up to see who threw this South of the border beer at my head and saw a beautiful woman in a bikini. She yelled down “Sorry!!”

I yelled back “You better slow your roll!!”

Ha. We all know I didn’t do that. Nope. I yelled “You don’t know it yet, but we are going to be best friends!”

That is true. All of it. She was my new neighbor that just moved in above me having her house warming party while I was having my 1,427th house warming party. We did become best friends are still close today. I got to know her family and she got to know all of my issues and perversions. Hey being my neighbor can’t be all fun. I started going to church at some point because I was struggling in life and she was kind enough to come with me. It became a Sunday thing for us and I cherished it. Sometimes her Mom would come down and join us which meant the world to me. Living in paradise was tough at times when your whole family lives very far away. Sometimes a dose of Mom when a guy is having tough times is better than any drug our prescription happy doctors can give. I grew to truly care about Elaine and always looked forward to my next dose.

I believe Moms should get flowers. Why?? Because they like them. I would get my drug Mom (get it?) flowers on days I knew she would be joining us at church. Part of my life struggles was affording my time in paradise, but I still spent money on flowers. Elaine hated me doing it. I did it anyway. She didn’t realize the moments of giving her flowers made me feel like a good son which is something I was craving at the time. I never told her that. I won’t ever be able to. She passed away last night. With tears blurring my vision I write this sentence.

I know a lot of people in this world. I’ve been blessed to have made some strong friendships in my life that matter to me for many reasons. I was lucky to know Elaine as well as I did. I always say if you want to know a person get to know their children and I’ve been even more blessed in that. I’m still close friends with that crazy broad that started our friendship by throwing Corona bottles at me. Stupid girl everyone knows I like Heineken. That drunken friendship became a spiritual one at church and I’m forever grateful for the heels stomping on my floor as an alarm clock, the cups of coffee and Coke Zeros to get me moving, and the acceptance into a family when I needed it.

I was banned from buying flowers the last few years. Funny part is I can afford them now. I am horrible about listening, but I will respect Elaine’s wish one more time. I will not send flowers to the celebration of life. Instead I will send these words. These words can be my flowers. I loved her and like many other people I will miss her. The holiday dinners, the coffee after church, the “Damn it Bucky”, and the love her genuine smile shined on everyone lucky enough to see it.

I love you neighbor.

FknBucky

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25
Sep
24

The Sun

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Ahhhh the sun. My favorite part of the solar system. Without it we would not exist. Nothing. No trees, no animals, no flowers, no dogs, no cats, no traffic, no wait maybe we should, nope bad idea, and with that sentence I hope you can now appreciate the sun just a little more everyday. Stop letting the wussies tell you what to do and spend the day in the sun without sunscreen. Trump says Drill baby drill, well I say BURN baby burn!!! Let that skin sizzle to really make you feel alive.

Okay that is stupid. Wear sunscreen and if you listen to me and complain later, I will personally fly to your home, hold you softly while stroking your hair, tell you it will be okay, and then I’ll kill you. And your family. Okay. Back to happy sun thoughts. I do yoga while walking Annie everyday. I throw the frisbee until she needs a break and then I’ll do my stuff. Today while doing my routine in hotel parking lot I let the sun soak into my face for a moment. I had my eyes closed and just concentrated on breathing. In a moment I was transported back to La Jolla living on Wind-n-Sea beach with the waves crashing on the beach. It was actually a black Escalade trying to ram me out of the way. Um, never close your eyes for extended periods of time in hotel parking lots.

It reminded me of the incredible strength of memories. You work all year and then take a week in the mountains, a deep sea fishing trip, or a hiking trip in Utah to appreciate the beauty of that state. If you’ve never been to Utah I suggest you fix that right now. My real point is never underestimate the power of memories. I’m able to overcome the hardest moments in life by remembering the best of times I’ve had with people I adore and love. I’ve lost touch with many friends over the years, I’ve fallen out with some of them, and sadly some are with God way too early, but I’m able to remember them all just like it was yesterday. I let the sun shine on my face (eyes closed, I’m not Trump) with its warmth reigniting the memories I’ve stored in my cold storage thought freezer. I just made that up, but I like it.

Here is my point today which is similar to the points I make every time I write. LIVE YOUR LIFE. Make the memories. Don’t skip out on fun. It matters. MAKE time to be with the people you love right now. They might not be there when you have more money, more time, more vacation time, or whatever other excuse you allow yourself to use. Think about that. I do sometimes. Not to the point where it hurts, but remind yourself that life is short and you have to enjoy every moment starting right freaking now.

I hope that is blunt enough for you. What do you think about when you let the heat from the sun microwave your memory bank?? A trip?? A moment with your girl? Your guy?? Your kids?? I’ll be honest I thought about the beach in La Jolla as I already mentioned and…. I thought about a time when a friend and I stood atop Copper Mountain about to drop into Gaveling Gulch. We both smiled and yelled “We are going to remember this shit for the rest of our Eff’ing lives!!” We were not wrong. I remember the drop, the massive snow cloud I created when I landed, every turn on the way down, and high fiving Rob at the bottom. A Jeep Cherokee slammed on the brakes, went sideways stopping, and with the tires screeching the driver screamed at us “HOW WAS IT??” I smiled and knew I had just experienced something very special.

I love that feeling. I’ve done many crazy awesome things in my life and I have no plans to stop anytime soon. Driving the other day I remembered flying around in a helicopter over Hawaii and smiled because it was flipping cool. I spent the night in Saint Moritz, eating at a fine dining restaurant with the owner of the hotel, and my date was Miss Thailand. I’ve traveled, I’ve laughed, I’ve loved, I’ve made many friends, and I cherish those memories more than any dollar I’ve ever earned. On my deathbed I will not be talking about how much money I have in a bank account, how many stocks I have, or how much property I own. No. I will smile and talk about the great possessions I have. Memories.

Go make some.

FknBucky

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23
Jul
24

I wish I was your lover

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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DAMN! I wish I was your lover…..

What a song. Brought back some great memories the other day from a time that seems like yesterday, but I realize it was almost 30 years ago. Some of the girls I went to school with would say “Damn” and then I would sing (very very poorly) the “wish I was your lover” part. It became a thing and truth be told I’m not sure how it started. I think it was because I had a huge crush on one of them, but some secrets are meant to be kept…..

Grandpa was right. Go read a few blogs back if you don’t know the reference. I’m happy for those moments, those times when a song comes on the radio and I’m immediately transported back to a particular night or memory that makes me smile. I’m lucky enough to still have a memory after my 20’s so I count that in the blessing column for sure. We all have bad moments in life and that is perfectly natural so embrace them. Understand that they will pass. This year has been a freaking crazy one for me, but seeing a post on FB about a song melted all the hardship away in a moment. I smiled and life was good again.

A song on the radio. A car driving by. A shirt you see. An old picture in a box you find. A city. I have all of these things and more that remind me of amazing moments I’ve had in life. It isn’t luck they happened, these moments were made possible by showing up to the party, saying yes to that voice in my head, and simply putting myself out there. It is important to encourage the kids around you (your own kids, nieces and nephews, step kids, random D-Bag kid that keeps walking on your yard) to take the chances needed to make these special memories. We all see what happens when kids are isolated.

Sanitarium by Metallica and Damn, I wish I was your lover (kinda forgot about that one….). Chevy Lumina (couple of them). Obviously seeing anyone in a FknBucky shirt!! I have hundreds of pictures in boxes. ROME. These are just some of the special memories that I keep in my head to make me smile when I need it the most. When you have a tough time happening take a minute to go back to one of your special moments and simply smile. I promise whatever hardship won’t seem so hard when you look back at it.

FknBucky

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19
Jul
24

That one thing

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Short, tall, rich, poor, white, black, American, Brazilian, or anything else you can think of to describe what we all are. They are simply labels, but the truth when it is broken down, we are all humans. Democrat, Republican, Independent, or whatever party you choose to be a part of again we are the same. Only our minds are different. That thing inside your head that grows with you year after year. Each experience you have makes a notch in it creating who you are right now. Somewhere along the way a person cared enough about you to make sure you learned how to read otherwise you would be playing candy crush level 4,384 instead of reading this blog. You should call and thank them.

I have a point to this so hang on. People with less actually are able to appreciate the topic I’m writing about. The thing we all have regardless of who we vote for. The thing that so many humans forget to appreciate on a daily basis. We spend each day chasing a dollar, working for the man, being annoyed by those around us, and forgetting the best thing in each of us. What could that be? Simple and it is only one word. Blessings.

We all have them. Are you dry? Cool?? Do you have something to eat today?? It may not be steak and lobster, but if you have a full belly then you are blessed. You may not have a 23 bedroom mansion, but are you in the rain?? I don’t have air conditioning Bucky. Hmmmm. Do you have a fan? Blessing. I don’t have a fan Bucky. Hmmm. Got a window?? If the answer is no then you’re in jail. If you’re in jail stop wasting time reading this and go get a book. Start with this one. How to stop committing crimes for Dumbasses.

I wasn’t going to write this evening, but Annie kept shoving this darn football onto my lap. I was annoyed with her, but then it hit me that instead of annoyed I should feel blessed she wants to hang out with me. Instead of being annoyed with your family after a long week remember how blessed you are to have them. Close your eyes, imagine life without them, take ownership of that feeling, and then remember it every time you begin to be annoyed.

It is proven that people in poor countries are genuinely happier simply because they haven’t been tainted with all the BS some of us have been. They don’t compare their life with a fake family on TV. Instead they care about each other and appreciate the things they do have. I make a point to do that everyday, I always feel better about what I have today, and it reminds me to appreciate everyone I’ve met along the way. Thank you to everyone that has blessed my life.

Feel blessed right now. Be a shame to not be happy with a full belly.

FknBucky

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27
May
24

meet FKNBucky

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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I am ALIVE!!! This is true.

I am blessed. This is also true.

More truth for you. I have been in the hospital since April 30thish, 2024…… I went down for the big count. Around May 5th I ran out of air. I was no longer able to breathe. I was told for days by hospital staff that I was simply having a panic attacks. I do a lot of things. I curse to much. I call stupid lazy people stupid and lazy to their face. I love my family/friends. I make very inappropriate jokes/comments. I laugh at racist jokes. Mostly after I say them.

What I don’t do is panic. Ever.

I’ve had a bad kidney for over 6 years. I’ve had some other health issues for a lot longer. I’ve been trying to get these problems identified and handled and have tried for a very long time. Why don’t I tell you??? Cause you got your own BS to handle. I mean that in a positive light. I never planned for this to blow up so big and become such a hard thing to deal with. I had no strength, energy, and it sucked. I had no phone calls, emails, and couldn’t take of Annie. Some of the hardest and darkest days off my life. No doubt.

Slight side note, but relevant:

I am comfortable with violence. I think a punch in the mouth is needed sometimes. Given and received depending on what time you started day drinking. Day drinking with a side of violence. I love Wisconsin so much…. And IA, and NY, and AL, GA, NC, SC, KY, NJ, and a former CO resident named Nate from NJ, Dave Dean, and many others . When I fell out/died at the hospital for almost 3 days last week they forgot to move my left arm. Now it is numb and don’t work. Being a quad is HARD. I have so much more respect for those who face that challenge everyday.

It is Slllllloooooooowwwwly coming back. I feel like I should be able to punch the person responsible in their face without jail time. My left arm/hand is dominant although I am ambidextrous, but both arms are equal when attempting to push a wheelchair in a straight line. My logic is I should get to dot Billy’s “move the arm guy” eye so he sees fuzzy out his left eye while I’m stuck rolling in circles….. What if Billy is a girl Bucky??? Duh. I do the right thing and use gender neutral violence obviously throwing the headbutt. I’m not stupid. I am funny however and you love my genuine ass.

Now that I can use a phone again I have a lot of blogs to write. You will enjoy them. I’m sorry many of you had no idea how sick I was. I couldn’t type and it happened fast. PLEASE follow this blog and the podcast. Future info will come thru here and the podcast. I have a large family and SSOOO many amazing friends from all over the world. You are the reason I never stop fighting for my life or my right to say messed up things to make people laugh. This experience will be shared fully and I’m hoping to write blogs daily, but I also have a ton of therapy and life to catch up on.

I love you all. Truly. My family. My friends. My colleague’s who are both. Without you all there is no Allen, no nBucky, no FknBucky, no fight, no stories, and I owe all of you my life. Thank you.

FknBucky

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26
Apr
24

My Friend named Grandma

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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NEW PODCAST on YouTube and on your favorite podcast app. Simply search FKNBUCKY. Please like, share, and comment. Together we can do something great and change lives with positivity!!!

Just boarded another airplane for another flight home.  I’ve done this dozens actually hundreds of times before, but today is different.  I’m flying home to say goodbye to one of my dearest friends.  I’m so thankful for the time I was able to spend with her and will remember all the wonderful conversations we had over the last 20 years.  For those of you that know me personally you know I have friends all over the world and I’ve been blessed to have so many of them.  This friend was all alone in her category simply because of her name.  Grandma.

I have always been close to my Dads father.  I was named after him and that was a small club to be in.  I probably don’t deserve his name as he was one of the greatest men I’ve ever known.  When he was 80 yrs old I watched him carry a large metal tub filled with corn down to the hog barn to feed the chickens.  Ha.  Just kidding.  There are pigs in the hog barn you fools!! When I would visit my Grandparents, Grandpa and I would sit at the table having tea and thoseamazing chocolate chip cookies only Grandma could make, while G-ma waited on us.  Naturally most of the conversation was between us men.  It was just the way it was.  I mean we all know the golden rule.  Women have to be quiet while the men are talking.

My Grandpa passed away 17 years ago and while back visiting Grandma she mentioned she is awake until 2-3 am most nights.  I started volunteering at the children’s hospital in San Diego around this time.  Every Tuesday night I would open and run a playroom for the kids to get out of their rooms and have some fun.   My drive home was 30-40m min and almost always after 9 PM.  I like to talk to people when I’m driving, but 9 PM is a little late to call friends to just say “hey”. One night I thought Grandma is awake, I’ll call her.  I called, she was up, and we had a great talk.  As time went on, week after week, I would continue to call G-ma on my drive home. She looked forward to it and so did I.  Something happened during those calls.  My Grandma became my friend.

She told me so many stories. How she first knew my Grandfather was the man she would marry.  He was at her place to help do some sort of work and as he left the house with the others, my grandma handed him a pair of gloves and their hands touched.  Not a quick touch, but long enough to gaze into each others eyes and decide I’m going to marry this person.  Simpler times.  A hand lingering just long enough to relay the message, but not too long to be creepy. 

She told me about her wedding day.  They were going to “honeymoon” in Waterloo planning to eat a fine dinner and then going to see a movie.  For reasons not discussed the young married couple were running late and had to smash a couple burgers quickly so they could still make the movie on time.  The best part was the happiness in her voice as she relived these memories with me.  I felt and still feel honored she shared these stories with me.  I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to know her so well. 

Grandma had so many pictures and was a rock within the family.  Doing all she could to keep the family together having family reunions and always encouraging everyone to let go of the anger, be open to kindness, and forgive when necessary.  It seems fitting that our whole family will be brought together one more time by Anna Pearl.  I can envision her and Grandpa (together again!) looking down at us all with smiles knowing they did their best for their family and I’m not alone when I say THANK YOU to both of them. 

Just part of Grandmas super army. Love you forever Grandma.

I will say this.  MAKE the time to talk with people you love.  None of us are that busy we can’t put forth the effort.  Well so and so never calls me, why should I reach out to them???  Why shouldn’t you??  Whatever happened let it go.  It isn’t worth dragging that anger anchor around with you.  Don’t you want to be free of this pissed off attitude that sucks up all your energy so you can stay mad???

I loved my Grandmother without question.  She was a remarkable woman.  All that came natural.  I’m happiest though knowing I took the time to make my amazing G-ma my best friend while I had the opportunity.  She taught me so many lessons that I will use the rest of my life.  Many times people will say I didn’t know what I had until it was gone.  I have learned very hard lessons that way, but this one time I got ahead of the game.  I made sure to appreciate my friend everyday. 

The world lost a bright shining light of a human, but heaven gained an angel that will forever be looking down at our families. 

That is what I wrote on the flight out.  I’m currently on the flight back to Charlotte. At the visitation I went by, but purposely didn’t look into the casket directly.  I used a bit of side eye, then closed my eyes, and said a private prayer between Anna Pearl and myself.  I didn’t want the vision of her in my head overwhelming all the happy mental pics I’ve taken of her during my life. 

My family is far from perfect.  My Grandma wasn’t perfect.  I am so far from Perphekt that I have to spell it wrong.  I might name one of my kids that actually….  Truth is like all families there is some drama and blah blah.  I don’t involve myself in that.  Some people need conflict and thrive on it.  I’m not one of those.  I prefer if something has your panties all wadded up, say something, get it off your chest, and then move on. 

The celebration of life was awesome.  Many of my family members made the trip home and we got to visit, laugh, and enjoy the moment.  Anna Pearl got us all together one last time.

We are all going to miss her, but I’ve promised myself to replay the great times in my head and share the advice, family history, and the wisdom my dear friend Grandma passed to me.

I love you Grandma and Grandpa.  So happy you are together again.  I promise to do my best to encourage everyone to drop the anchors and be happy again.  At this stage of the game no body is changing.  Just accept your family members for who they are and simply love them unconditionally.

Thank you,

FknBucky

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PLEASE comment, like, and share. So important to get great information out to people that might need it. I write in hopes to change peoples lives. If I can help one person with these words my life will be considered a success by me.

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20
Feb
24

Justice?

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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I got a text about Noon telling me that Karina was in custody for the murder of Ryan Cooper. I’m a Traer boy at heart and honestly writing that sentence made me cry. I’m not afraid to admit that. There are a massive amount of emotions going on right now, but the hope is with someone being held accountable and with time people may start healing. Reality is these types of wounds never actually heal. Time goes by and people start to move on to other topics, but we’ll never forget or be whole again. A part of us was taken that can’t regrow or be replaced. The hurt will never fully go away even as time goes by and we start to talk about the price of beans, the road construction on D65, or the prick up the road that keeps tearing up the dirt road.

Truth is as much as I prayed that justice would come in this case, I realized today it doesn’t change the pain or make sense of this BS. We were all robbed of an amazing friend, brother, son, father, and the world was better and happier with Ryan a part of it. He will never be forgotten. That is a fact. He is still here with us thru the children he was taken from. I pray everyone remembers they are the ultimate victims in all of this. Please talk with your kids about how crazy this situation is and make sure they understand how their words can help or hurt so choose them very wisely. I can’t imagine dealing with the nightmare they’ve been given at NO FAULT of their own. Life is not fair on levels I didn’t realize were possible.

I’ve had a good number of friends reach out to me and all of them say the same thing. The hurt is like this just happened yesterday. I meant the words I wrote 2.5 years ago the brotherhood one becomes a member of living in a small town. The Busch Light brotherhood I called it. Membership can’t be bought, it can only be earned. It is lifetime membership with annual dues being make sure you have a big cooler of beer ready to go once the work is done.

My thoughts and prayers are with his family. I know they will most likely read this and I hope they understand how much Ryan touched my life, he was loved, and appreciated by many others. I spoke with another friend today who was asked to testify this morning about Ryan. She told me that she said “You can ask anyone in Traer or anyone that knew Ryan, there isn’t a person on Earth that had issues with him. There was no fighting, no running of the mouth, and simply just a great man that could be relied on no matter what it was he agreed to do. I have met thousands of people in my life. NOT one can be compared to Coop.

I don’t know what will happen in court. I do say let the rule of law take its course. This event only proves once again that evil exists in the world. I don’t know why. Heaven or Hell, Good or Bad, God or Satan, BIg Bang Theory and not Big Bang Theory. Whatever you believe doesn’t change the fact that evil is around us everyday. Some people get very good at hiding it. There is no reasoning, no explanations to be had, and simply the hard truth tells us that it is real.

Ryan didn’t deserve this evil done to him and we all know that. His kids should have their father still. It makes me beyond angry to think of how unfair this is. He should be old and gray watching grandkids open Christmas presents. I can see him in his den surrounded by toy tractors on the wall, some deer mounts from successful hunts, and of course a 1:8 scale cattle hauler that cost as much as his first car on display that everyone knows isn’t for playing with. Well not until Grandpa had his special drinks and ends up on the floor playing farm with the young ones.

I am surprised at how fresh these feelings of hurt are. We appreciate the small town for many things. Knowing people your whole life, your kids and their kids go to school together, and eventually your grandkids and their grandkids go to school together. There is a feeling of safety in a small town and it brings comfort to us knowing everyone. The downside is when something really really tragic happens it affects everyone. This is that. This hurts everyone. I believe the police have done their job and done it well. They didn’t cave to people screaming we want justice now, but slowly built up a solid case against Karina. She is innocent until proven guilty, but I will not be donating to her defense fund.

I say this to my Busch Light brothers and sisters. Please don’t let your anger and hatred dim the shining light Ryan brought to us all. His memory should not be tainted by this evil human that abused his love, manipulated his trust, and stole a father from his children. I will choose to remember him flipping me off from the cab of that cattle hauler. Twice he got me. The snapchats he sent telling me he smelled like money when I said he was covered in shit. He deserves that. For all of us to remember him for who he was and not for how he was taken away.

Give hugs to people you love and then tell them “I love you.”

I don’t know what else to say. I just have a lot of emotions and writing is how I deal with things I can’t process yet. I know I’m not alone in that.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

17
Jan
24

The Power of Heated Steering Wheel

By Bucktown 1 Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What is going on here?? I started this blog before the Iowa Caucus so that is why I’m talking about Vivek. Just because he dropped out doesn’t mean I don’t like him anymore. I’m grateful I took the time to listen to him. As genuine a person you will find. 

I try hard to stay out of politics, but I could not resist talking about Vivek. The man intrigues me and truth be told, I like him. My liking him has nothing to do with him getting elected or what your opinion should be of him. I promise not to harp on this particular subject to often, but I want to take you on a written word drive right now. Buckle up!! You just might learn to use that head of yours for more than a Busch Light entry hole.

It is cold. Thanks for pointing out some obvious crap Bucky, you might say. I had an appointment with my go to Asian masseuse this morning so I had to head out around 8 am. I bought a minivan a few years ago so I could drive the wheelchairs and equipment I sell around. I thought about getting a “cooler” car, but truth is I can not pick up girls in a minivan just as good as I can not pick them up in a Porsche Cayenne. I really want one, someday I’ll be able to afford a poster of one to put above my bed or something. My minivan is cool though it has tinted windows, spilled chips, and my personal favorite smells like whatever Annie rolled in yesterday. 

The minivan has a heated steering wheel. I’d never heard of such a thing to be honest and didn’t even realize it was there when I bought the van. One day it was cold and I used the auto start. When I got into the van and started driving I thought “Ooooo, that’s nice…”. There is a point, just hang on. Last I’ve thought about it. It is normal now. I was looking at new vans last night just because and found one I liked with low miles. Looking at the options on it, I noticed there was no heated steering wheel, and that meant it was a no go. That option is simply too good to give up in my tiny human brain.

Now. Let’s look at something else. Power. It is better than drugs. Making people do things because you have power over them. A boss. A parent. A tough guy. A politician. Hmmm interesting now eh.. A boss can be fired. A parent can only rule 18 years. A tough guy, well there is always someone tougher. A politician only needs to manipulate your tiny brain every few years. You see the power they acquire is like my heated steering wheel. They can’t give it up. Seemingly good people corrupt themselves in the name of “helping you”, helping me, helping the guy that can’t help himself. They remind themselves how important and smart they are. You would be lost without them so that justifies hanging onto that power no matter what it takes.

They say “This is good for you, trust me!” Nope. My BS meter goes off anytime someone says this is good for you. How do you know what is good for me? You aren’t me. You’re not my spouse, best friend, or at the very least someone that knows what color Tommy John I got on today. These boxer briefs are like heaven. Worth every penny even though I shoplift mine. As long as you’re under $1,000 they don’t prosecute. Hey don’t blame me. You keep voting these idiots into power. I had to Bucky, the TV told me the other guy was racist and killed gays on the weekend. Just knowing your level of stupid exists makes me feel better about myself.

Every year the power these folks have becomes more and more addicting. For Big Bangs sake why do we have senators that are 90 some years old?? WHY??? 50 years in public service. I have another beef there. Public service my butt. Why you worth 200 million when you started out broke?? Job only pays $150,000 a year. I don’t blame the politicians. I blame you. I blame me. My parents. Your parents. Our neighbors. We allow it to happen over and over and over….. As long as they have a D or an R by their name they are on my side. Here is the truth. You don’t have a side. 

So money and power. Hmmm thank baby Jesus (Just watched Talladaga nights) that money and power have never corrupted good people in the history of mankind. Clearly the 700 folks that have it would never do anything questionable to keep it. They lie to your face. They manipulate facts to push their agenda. They suppress video evidence. They lose emails. They hide behind this and that. They kill Jeff. There is nothing they won’t do to keep the power, the money, and the opportunity for MORE. 

I just wanted a heated steering wheel. My brain went all crazy blaming my steering wheel wishes on corrupt politicians. Now I will get a cold wheel and get rid of power steering to try and save my soul.

Stop following, trusting, and believing in people because “they” tell you to. 

READ the language of actions.

LISTEN to what they don’t say.

WATCH who benefits from what they do.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

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