Posts Tagged ‘floor

26
Feb
21

Lesson Time

The last couple days tested me to see if I would break, but we all know that isn’t happening. Not now, not ever. I don’t get bothered by being knocked down. It will never stop happening so why let it get to you??? To many of us have forgotten how important that lesson is for ourselves AND for the leaders of tomorrow. Our kids need to be knocked down. Sometimes two days in a row. Learning to handle life when it isn’t going your way is one of the most important lessons adults can give to kids. When you have the strength to say “Not today”, I’m not going to let some BS get to me today the world changes. It becomes less scary. You know that no matter what happens you are going to handle it.

Once I get past the “mother F**#^&$R, God DS&^$, Son of a B*#^$ moments on the floor I do what it takes to get back up. I believe I needed to learn that lesson or at least remind myself that we don’t get to pick when “hard times” come. We can only react to it. Luckily we have 100% control on how we react to the hard. What is your reaction?? Do you even know?? Has someone loved you enough to let you fall two days in a row and figure it out on your own??? I sure hope so. You simply have to accept that things happen in life. Sometimes those things are two days in a row and it sucks, but you have to rise above the suck or like a T-Shirt I have seen before “Embrace the Suck.”

I have the strength to forget portions of things. There is just something about me that has always understood that the lesson is important so learn it, keep it, file it, but let the rest of the BS go. Drop it like an old pair of shoes. Later. There was a day back when I was snowboarding that I won’t ever forget. I may have shared this story before, but here it is again. This guy from Chicago who was very charismatic was in the snowboard shop. All the employees (about 5-6) were gathered around him during slow time laughing. He was most likely in his 50’s, but cool. I wasn’t in the group yet but noticed a group of people laughing and I was going join that. I walked up saying something cause that is what I do and this gentleman looked me up and down. The group stopped and it was just him staring at me. Then he said “F*ck you.” I cocked my head like Annabel does when she is trying to understand me. I thought I have to fight this old man?? I hope he took multi-vitamin because IA/WI was about to be represented proper. He repeated it adding “F*ck you, You’re that guy.”

Now I’m curious. Smiling at him I’m like what?? He said ”You’re that guy. No matter what happens you are always okay.” I just went from expecting an ass kicking cause if you have ever been in a real fight you know better than to fight “old men”. They are meaner than your dumbass. A young buck like myself had to worry about looking cool, but old men don’t give a F about looking cool. They will hit you with a board, walk away slowly sipping their coffee, and probably buy you a beer later unless you’re a super d-bag. Don’t fight old men. Okay, but now I’m trying to understand what he meant. The whole group was looking at me when he repeated it. He said “No matter what happens, you’re always okay.” I couldn’t argue the point. He was right. How he could see that so quickly has always been a mystery to me. I had self confidence for days so maybe that?? It stuck with me and I’ve drawn strength from those words a complete stranger said to me many many times. I would love to see him again. Let me know if you run into him. He was a tall black man from Chicago that told funny jokes. There that should narrow it down.

I had way different ideas for blogs this week, but sometimes a different message demands to be shared. I can only assume someone that reads this blog needed to hear about me falling two days in a row only to get right back up smiling two days in a row. The smashed screen on my IPad is a bummer, but it is a thing and I promise you there is NOT one possession I have that if taken away will ruin my day. Ef that. I will never let any worldly possession be that important to me. Try it. It is liberating. Of course I’ll be bummed as some things are cool, but it is only stuff. Memories and friendships. That is where you put ALL of your focus and you’ll have a very fulfilling life. Feel free to donate on my non-existent Go Fund Me Page so I can buy a new IPAD.

ACTUALLY I do know of a person in need right now of some help. I will put the link below. Every dollar is important so please help if you can.

If you can’t help financially please simply share it. The more people that see it, the more help we can do. EVERY dollar helps so no donation is too small. This is a person who’s living situation has become very difficult. The only bathroom is upstairs and do to the progression of his CP he is no longer able to climb the stairs. Take a moment and imagine that. Thousands if not millions of people overcome insane obstacles to simply survive, and you’re crying about what exactly??? Don’t worry there is no my problems are bigger than yours competition, but sometimes understanding what others go thru can help give us strength to tackle our own problems.

I feel good this AM and don’t worry I’m so paranoid about falling again that I’ve rearranged my living room. Probably should have done that after the first fall, but I assumed that was a fluke. Now I know that lightening will strike twice in the world of FknBucky so I had better be ready for it. So remember just because something hard happened to you yesterday doesn’t make you immune to it today. When it happens you have to take a moment for anger, shame, and sadness, but then move on. That poor me baggage will weigh YOU down. No one else. Personally I’m going to look for extra ways to spread kindness today. It will make me feel awesome knowing that I took the energy from falling and passed it on as a positive for someone. I could easily use that energy and snap at someone else to make them feel like crap. If I’m hurt then someone else should be too. That is a stupid thing to do so don’t do it.

Take a breath, take a moment, and then do something kind for anyone expecting nothing in return. The expecting nothing IS the most important part. Do kind things because it is the right thing to do and builds positive character in you. You can’t buy positive character no matter how much money you have, but you can earn it every single day for free.

Happy Friday

FknBucky

29
Jan
21

Pull your pants up

Okay it isn’t morning anymore, but I went back and forth on publishing this. I question how much I want to share about my personal shit, but in the end if I can help one person say “You know I could do better..” then it is completely worth it.

Friday morning. I’ve been up for a few hours already as my leg spasms have been brutal lately. They will literally kick nonstop until I get up. Worst alarm clock ever. The smile you see me with takes work. It is easy to be in a pissy mood or upset at things that are not perfect in life. It isn’t like I wake up, put my happy to be paralyzed pants on, and come out into the world to be an inspiration to you. Nope that is not how it works.

Usually my legs start kicking around 4 am. This followed by me rolling over 20 times praying I’ll find the perfect position to let me sleep another couple hours. It has been 18 years and that position is still a mystery to me, but I’m no quitter and still try every morning. Once I get angry enough I usually curse my legs, the bed, air, Obama, Trump, and anything else I can think of until I focus on Annabel. Then I have to use my nice voice or she thinks she is in trouble. Next time I train a dog I’m going to make yelling angry Bucky my normal voice and she will be in trouble when I start talking like a pansy.

I usually spend 10-15 minutes trying to get my pants on first thing in the day. My spasms make it extremely difficult as they fight me every inch. Annie also thinks my pants are the greatest tug of war partner ever. I mean my legs kick at her while she is fighting my pants so she is like game on!! It is funny cause I tell her no every time, but she always be back again. I guess she is no quitter either. My morning spasms are so strong that I have to back up next to a wall, my bed, or anything while putting pants on because they will spasm violently causing me to fall over backwards. This has happened more times than I can count. When I go over backwards I know my head is going to hit hard and then right after my paralyzed leg/knee comes down also hitting me square in the nose which freaking hurts. This creates next level anger and cursing. A kid once asked me how many swear words Murphy knew. I answered all of them.

I have my moment laying on the floor, then i figure out a plan to get back into my chair, and get it done. I don’t share this for sympathy or for anyone to say “oh poor Bucky” because that is not needed. I share for two reasons with the first being getting things out of my head. Once I tell someone or put it down on paper I can forget about whatever it is that has my panties all twisted up. The other reason is it is good for everyone to be reminded that your “stuff” is not all that bad. Whatever you have going on it can always be a 1,000 times worse. So enjoy your Friday. Enjoy your weekend. Most of all enjoy your life.

It is always a choice on how you approach the day. How you interact with other people is a choice which you get to make every single day. If you have been a negative asshole (You know who you are) your entire life the best thing is you can change TODAY. Boom just like that. Good things come to those that expect them. I’m not going to let something as trivial as putting my pants on ruin my day. That would be be stupid. How does that conversation go??

Person: “How you doing Bucky?”

Me: “Worst day ever. I had a hard time putting my pants on. My life sucks.”

Person: “Ahh okay. Well I got to go. Hope you get better.” Walks away muttering “Fucking weirdo.”

Just doing that there makes me able to see things for what they really are. Stupid little things that need to be forgotten the moment it is over. Not dragging that shit around with me all day. If you read the blog about anger you will get this reference. I take that anger brick about pants and I throw that bitch back. I’m blessed in the fact I have pants. I have a ton of them. High quality pants. I grew up poor on the farm with only 2 pairs of pants. Good pants for church and barn pants that were covered in shit all the time.

I am not willing to give up the good things I have in life because putting pants on is hard. It most likely isn’t pants in your life, but there is something that gets you daily. Choose to let it go instantly. Don’t let it grow roots or start attaching itself long term. Identify whatever that shit is and say okay that happened, but I’m moving on with a smile. Take this exact moment to do a random act of kindness for a stranger. You will forget about all the trivial shit in a heartbeat.

Do kind things. Always. Life will be instantly better.

FknBucky




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