Posts Tagged ‘free

10
Jan
25

Backwards Day

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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Welcome back!! Those are the words I heard when I woke up in the ICU last May. Crazy to think about how far I’ve come since that day just a few months ago. I was convinced I was going to die, that is what happened, but once again I defied the odds and did not. Staring death in the face used to be a huge deal, but somehow for me it feels more like meatloaf Wednesday. Ha. I use humor to deflect if you haven’t noticed by now.

None of us know what tomorrow will bring. It might be crazy, might be mundane, might be memorable, or it might just be another day that gets lost in the sands of time. I sports bet and have the app on my phone that allows me to bet on cricket games in Ghana. I don’t do that, but I can if I wanted to. I do however bet on NFL games and which player might score a touchdown, what team may win, or a QB that will throw for over 300 yards. I win some, I lose some, but I only bet what I might have spent on a night out when I used to drink. My point is I never actually know what is going to happen until the game is played. No one does.

The future is unscripted. Just waking up each day is a blessing and I choose to look at it that way. We don’t know what is going to happen to us each day, but there is something we can control. There is something we can plan, something we can foresee, something we can predict 100% of the time. To a gambler a prediction that never fails is a prayer answered, a dream come true, a Big Bang Theory blessing that once proven would be worth a fortune!! Now in this blog I’m about to give it to you for free. How can that be Bucky?? I’ll tell you why. It is because I love you.

What is this magic you speak of?? What can I control?? Hold on tight and take a deep breath. Your attitude. BOOM. No matter what happens in your life, you have the ability to control how you react to it, how you accept it, and how you treat others around you during it. Much easier said than done. I’m more guilty than anyone of letting my circumstances and environment control my emotions instead of me taking the reins when needed. I’m not proud of that, but I understand it which allows me to change it. You can’t improve yourself unless you admit you have some flaws. Acknowledging your imperfections isn’t a weakness and should never be looked at as such.

Being aware of your attitude is POWER. Who doesn’t want power?? Try not getting angry today. Try reacting to a situation in the complete opposite way your initial emotions tell you to. Someone takes your parking spot, tell them it is okay, they must be in a huge hurry and very important. See the shame in their face as they realize how selfish they are. Your kid makes a huge mess, don’t yell at them, understand they are probably bored and spend time doing a craft with them. Look I’m all for beating kids any chance you get, but tomorrow they will piss you off again and you can scream at them double loud. For today react backwards and see how your family, your colleagues, and the world reacts to you. You just might be surprised.

FknBucky

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P.S. As always if you appreciate this message please share with others. Also I would love to hear in the comments the experiences you have reacting backwards to situations in your life.

17
Jul
24

Americans

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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Most of us that read this blog are Americans. I have readers all over the world actually and I love everyone of you. I listened to someone talking about everyone coming together after the failed Trump assassination who repeatedly said that America is the greatest country in the world. It made me wonder if people in Moldova are like “We are the 47th greatest country in the world!!” Some guy in Uzbekistan screaming to a crowd “When I was elected we were the 107th greatest country in the world and now we are 102!!! Suck it TrapZisteianistan!!!” I would literally fly there and pay to watch that.

Jokes aside. I have friends of all flavors. We argue at times. We disagree about some things. Not my fault though. Some of them still think women should vote. I know right. What can you do. We can laugh in America. We have the freedom to do so because brave, VERY BRAVE men and women died so that we could have that luxury. I for one will never forget or take my freedoms for granted. What happened on Saturday can not happen here. We are looked upon by others in the world as something to strive to, a place people want to try to be like, and for many out there simply knowing it exists makes the planet a better place. If America fails the world fails.

R or D. They mean nothing. There are 24 other letters. We need them all to spell TrapZisteianistan. Haha. Thought I forgot about them. Seriously though it takes everyone to make us the greatest country in the world. All colors, all sexes, all sexuality, all strengths, all personalities, born here, immigrated here, all incomes, and most importantly all abilities. We all play a role. That role can only be played with love. Hate and anger have no place. The moment anyone compares anyone to Hitler walk away. That conversation is over. There was only one Hitler and he was truly evil. Never fall for stupid arguments and don’t waste the energy. You are loved and welcome to vote however you want in America.

I’ve said this before “you can’t out hate someone.” You can only overcome hate with love and kindness. If someone hates you simply because of skin color, sexual preference, gender, or ______________ the best way to change that is to become the greatest person you can, one of character, substance, and love so they MUST respect you. That is how you change the world. I promise you don’t change anyone by an act of violence. Unless they earn a punch in the face for talking BS. I’m still okay with that.

Love yourself and each other.

FknBucky

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30
Jun
24

Same Caramel Different Day

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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ZERO fat???? I asked. “Yes” was the reply. I had just mixed up my scrambled eggs up with butter, bacon, and love. I didn’t even get one bite when the doctor came in and looked at my kidney drain. Not one bite. The drain was cloudy. Cloudy is bad.

I

If I wanted to go home I had to commit to a zero fat diet for two weeks. Not idea what that entailed, but what the heck, I wanted to sleep in my own bed so I agreed. How hard could it be?? Turns out there is fat in Häagen Dazs. The world hates me is my only conclusion. All the things I love have fat in them.

My sister helped clear out the bad and shopped for the healthy before she picked me up to take me back to the apartment. I’m lucky to have a great group of family and friends. I spent yesterday cleaning and organizing my bedroom. You see the last five plus years have been insanely hard on me due to this darn infection, but I couldn’t see it. My energy went down, my pain went up, and life in general slowly began to downgrade allowing my world to descend into chaos. Fancy way to say my home is a mess.

While organizing and cleaning my bedroom I found something the sister missed. A large piece of caramel I bought a few days ago while at the the mall. You know the candy store by the door with insanely yummy everything.. I loaded up before surgery thinking if things go bad my corpse will be full of chocolate goodness. I lived so I was a man with way too much sugar in his system and a leftover caramel in his bedroom.

My first thought was I’m eating this M Eff’er right now. Then I remembered who I am. FknBucky? Nope. Bucky? Nope. Allen? Nope. I am a man of character and self discipline. I haven’t always won every battle in my life, but I’m not losing this one. I take a bite and it will taste amazing. After 57 hours of ZERO fat I’ve earned a little yummy. Bull$h!t. The goal to reach is two weeks.

I take that bite and all I’ll taste is guilt and failure. I’ve done that before and learned that lesson. Not this time. My character isn’t for sale. I will wait two weeks and that bite will be one of power and satisfaction. That little caramel bite will give me strength for the next battle that will surely come.

We all have it in us. Wait it out.

FknBucky

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This meme just made me laugh.

18
Nov
23

On the Edge

By Bucktown 2 Comments
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I think I am just going to make every blog start with, it has been a while since I’ve posted on here….. Life is chaos. Mine is certainly full. I try hard to be enough for everyone I know, but I feel as though I constantly fall short and let people down. It is never my intention to fall short of expectations, but it still happens. I recently watched the movie “Dog” with Channing Tatum. I bet that guy wakes up everyday and says “Darn it, why can’t I be handsome like FknBucky??” Ahhh my twenties. Good days.

Don’t worry this entire blog is not going to be about how flipping good looking I am. Although it would make for some great reading. Nope, not today. I take Annabel out for a couple runs just about every day. She knows the route by heart and once I give the green light she takes off like a race car doing the quarter mile. She simply can’t get there fast enough. Where is there??? That is a great question.

We have checkpoints I created since she was a puppy. The easiest ones are streets. She can’t cross a street EVER unless I say okay. She will run to the very tip of the sidewalk. One more inch and she would be technically in the street so she doesn’t cross that line, but still gets as close to it as dogginly possible. Some people get freaked out at this, but I’ve learned to trust her. That line will not be crossed until I give permission. The word is “okay”, that gives permission to run ahead to the next checkpoint. I test her sometimes by yelling “Open”, “Almost”, and other similar sounding words. She flinches, but realizes those are not the right word and will sit and wait. Quite impressive.

The edge. One paw almost touching. I used to get almost upset in the beginning, but as I mentioned I trust her now so it doesn’t bother me anymore. In fact we had a conversation about it. I asked “Annie, why do you insist on being on the very edge??” She replied “The view is better.”

Think on that for a moment. I’m a great view kind of guy. I enjoy the edge. It makes me feel alive. To be safe, but close enough to the danger that I can smell it, taste it, and reach out and touch it if I wanted to. I’ve always been that way, but like everyone I had to grow up to properly know who I am. In life I don’t have time to waste so I’m flying to the next checkpoint as fast as possible, giving myself time to enjoy the view from the edge. Once the slow pokes finally catch up we all start again, but they never see the view I just witnessed because they just keep moving at that snail pace never realizing they missed out on something remarkable, beautiful, and many times life changing.

I remember a time we were driving around the mountains in Colorado on a Sunday afternoon. Nothing to do besides tell jokes and mess with each other. We stopped a few times to check out some views. One was on a very tall cliff. I’m sure something like a thousand feet down. We had four in the group, but only two of us ventured to the edge. Right on it. I stood there with my friend as the adrenaline started to pump understanding an inch or two separated me from certain death. I wasn’t scared. I was alive. The view was more gorgeous and precious. The moment went from nothing to a memory I’ll never forget as I stepped closer and closer to the edge. The other two guys were 20 ft behind us literally shaking with fear just thinking about being where I was. It was one of the first moments of my life that fear became a noun.

I understand who I am. I take risks. I enjoy the edge. I like the view. You have to figure out you. Don’t stand on the edge unless you are willing to accept the consequences. There is always a price to pay.

Whether you are in the front, middle, or back is up to you. Just be sure wherever you end up that you take time to enjoy the moment with those around you. When you feel your life is in chaos remember to control the only thing you always have control of. Your attitude.

FknBucky

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21
Feb
23

Smiles are free

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Been a minute my friends. I’ve started a few blogs but decided against publishing. There are times when I try to force something out, but I can see thru it and I imagine those of you that take the time to read my blogs (I truly love and thank all of you) will also notice. I respect you enough to not give you mediocre content. That being said if I made more time to blog, the ideas and inspirations are endless so it falls on me to write more. A couple weeks ago I had a couple kids come visit me here in North Carolina. I was honored that 18 year old young adults would take a 5 day vacation to come spend time with “Uncle Bucky” a role I always take seriously. I love getting to talk smack with them and sprinkle in some wisdom from time to time. My door is always open to just about anyone. If you are a thief don’t bother. I can’t stand people that steal. Ever.

While driving home from Myrtle Beach we got into some deeper conversations and I relayed a story to them. One I have not talked about in a long time, but even thinking of it now I get a bit water eyed. I may have blogged it a few years ago, buy I can’t remember. I was teaching therapists at the local hospital on how to use a specific piece of equipment. A co-worker from the home office in Florida flew up to train with me and we spent the entire day training group after group. We took about an hour for lunch and just went to the cafeteria. The line was long, but moving at a good pace. I like everyone love to people watch so while in line I’m scanning the room. There is a good chance I know someone in the room because I know just about everyone and almost everyone knows Bucky.

Not this time. I did notice a little girl that was about 8 years old eating lunch with her Mom. She was hooked up to multiple machines and was clearly sick with something severe. I hate seeing this, but it is reality. She locked eyes with Murphy and it was game over. I looked at my co-worker and told him “There are more important matters to deal with so just grab me whatever you order” and left my place in line. I took Murphy over to this young lady and asked if she wanted to say hello. If you have never seen “stuck in hospital connected to machine little girl smile while dog petting” you can’t understand how powerful that moment is. It is something you will never forget for the rest of your life. Remember life isn’t about you, it is about what YOU do for others.

Mom said thank you quietly, but I can read lips well enough to hear it. My friend came by with the sandwiches and we found a table about 20 feet away. My new friend still had her eyes locked on Murphy like a Bears quarterback to the Number 1 receiver. Everyone in the stadium knows where the ball is going. My crazy Bucky mind had an idea. I put my sandwich down and rolled back over to my new best friend. I told her I had a problem, and said “I am having a tough time because I can’t hold onto Murphy and eat my food. Would you mind holding her for a while so I can eat lunch?” Remember the smile I just told you about. I got one twice as big and right in front of me I watched this little person fill with happiness and life. She asked very wide eyed “Really??” As I watched her Mom start to cry. It was a very awesome moment in my life. I created it. I could have easily waited in line, ordered a sandwich I actually liked (my co-worker eats crap food), and went along with my life. Instead because I pay attention and cherish opportunities like this a few strangers had a much better day.

Like many other times I had a completely different idea for this blog, but felt like this story should be told. I don’t share so people can say “Bucky you’re so kind blah blah” because I don’t need that. I’ve said it before and will again, I promise you will never know how many things I do for others. My biggest hope to inspire others to do the same. There is a feeling you get when you are kind to strangers just because it is the right thing to do. It is addicting. Imagine a world addicted to that instead of crack, heroin, alcohol, sex, stealing, vaping, and all the other crap behavior we have as humans.

Be present and recognize the moment. Understand that giving someone a smile is more beneficial than handing them $20. $20 can be gone very quickly, but a smile and happy memory can last a lifetime. It can be passed on to others countless times creating more and more smiles. People you will never know could be smiling right now because of the smile chain you started. That is real power., we all have it inside of us, and it cost nothing to use.

I promise if you simply take a moment to look around there is someone near you that needs someone to say “I care”, “the world cares”, “you are not alone”, or something like “where you born that ugly or do you have to work at it??”. Crack jokes. Mess with people. One quick note and I’m done today. I took my out of town visitors to the indoor skydiving place here in Charlotte. I was busting balls the whole time cause that is what I do. The guys working there said “you’ve been here before”. It was 3 plus years ago, but yes I had been there before. He says I remember the sense of humor.

Be yourself and be memorable.

Love who you are today because tomorrow is not guaranteed.

FknBucky

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03
Jan
23

Perfectly Imperfect

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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Brand new year. Clean slate. What will you do differently this year??? Maybe 2023 is the year you actually stick to your resolutions. I have some big goals for this year and I’m very excited to chase them. My days are not unlimited and if I want to leave a positive mark on the world, I can’t be screwing around. I’m proud of the time I spend with young people and the lessons I’m able to teach them along the way. My niece is my latest victim, but she gives the right answer when I ask her how much “whiny voice” helped her get something done. She instantly replies “zero”. I’m old now. Not sure how 44 got here so fast. Not sure how 20+ years after that motorcycle accident got here, but here I am. I accepted my fate a long time ago while having a conversation with a mirror in Craig Hospital. It was just me and my reflection having the most powerful conversation of my life that no one else will ever understand.

Life is about accepting things that are so that you can be prepared to change the future. Read that one again. With all the wisdom I have acquired in my life, I still get reminded of that on a daily basis. I’m a student. Always. I want to learn everything, but there isn’t enough time. I wish I knew 20 languages. A hundred of them. I don’t. I barely speak English, I need to fix that, but I’m lazy in that department. Anyway lets not get bogged down there. If the opportunity is there, take the time to learn another language. I find teachers everywhere in life mostly because I’m willing to listen. I’m a great talker. One of the best in my opinion. I think before I speak and carefully use the words and phrases that will benefit me as the conversation goes forward. Sometimes I know what people will say because I led them there the whole time. I’m a conversation magician. That is enough insider info for you today.

What happens when I’m talking with a person that is 8 yrs old?? Complete chaos. I can’t predict what they will say. They haven’t been fully trained yet to fear change and still have the ability to say what they are thinking without fear of being canceled. I find it incredibly refreshing. Hmmm typing this out makes sense to me, and this is probably why I enjoy talking with kids. I can’t manipulate them or control the words they will say because they are still a true clean slate. Adults are like a chalkboard. You grab an eraser and move it back and forth until the original message is unreadable, but the chalk still remains. It never fully goes away meaning no matter how hard you try the past is always seeping into your present effecting the decisions you make concerning your future. Freedom is understanding that and overcoming it. To be free of your past mistakes takes work, but it is worth the trouble. Accept it. Learn the wisdom. Let it go.

I can’t stand half ass. To me don’t even start if you aren’t giving 110%. Perfection is what I strive for every time. That is why many blogs never get published. My name is on them. No chance I’m putting crap out there. My physical challenges are many these days. A few times a year I spend a Saturday with college kids learning to be Occupational Therapists. I do this because a friend of mine who I respect greatly asked me and I’m a sucker for having a conversation with 21 ladies & the token 1 guy about my favorite subject. ME. They work on me diagnosing the obvious things and a few I make up along the way. I have issues with my elbows and shoulders which sucks, but while going thru this process I was asked a question. Does your work suffer because it takes longer??? I was kind of offended by it and replied a very hard “NO”. I looked her in the eye and said “I don’t care how long it takes, I’m not “half assing” anything ever. Instant respect from the whole table. They knew I meant that. Tackle every task in your life with that philosophy and watch your life improve overnight.

Back to my teacher. I watched her learn to ride a hoverboard after getting one for Christmas. She got a little braver and more confident as time went on until BAM!!! Niece down. Insert tears. Fear. Anger. I yelled instantly “Get back on it”. I heard “No”, but that was an unacceptable answer. She did get back on and two minutes later the fall was history, but the lesson it taught was the present allowing her to not make that same mistake again. Accept it happened, but only hold on to the wisdom, let the fear and anger go. I’m a hard-ass yelling get back on it, but inside I’m an old softie. We went to the store and bought wrist, elbow, knee pads, and a helmet the next morning along with some paint and sand paper. We had to customize the pads to be cool otherwise they suck. Best way to make something cool to a kid, let them create it. Mind blown, I know.

She told me what she wanted and I traced it out with a sharpie so she could paint it. She sucks at painting. Got more paint on me than the pad. I showed her how to only dip the tip of the brush in paint and then slowly trace the lines I made to make it look great. I asked if she understood, she said “yes”, and then I handed her the paint brush. She immediately dipped that sucker into paint up to her elbow and in record time of 2 seconds completely traced my lines in the worst way possible. My inside voice was screaming “WTF!!!” I looked at her and saw a face of pride. She loved it and was all smiles. She had sanded this knee pad down, picked out the design, and then did it. I had to remind myself she is 8, this isn’t the Mona Lisa, and most importantly it made her happy. It was so imperfect that it became perfect. JUST LIKE THE PERSON YOU ARE.

I decided to dip my brush into paint up to my elbow and join the fun. It was freedom to paint outside of the lines and LOVE the way it looked. I had just learned a massive life lesson from an eight year old girl that sucks at painting.

Happy New Year!

I can’t stress enough how much I appreciate everyone that reads these blogs and truly hope that some of my rantings will help ignite a fire in you to chase your dreams. I don’t want to arrive alone at the finish line, I want to bring everyone I interact with with me. Use your clean slate to accept that you’re Perfectly Imperfect.

Please share the blog. Maybe you didn’t need this message today, but a family member might. A co-worker struggling with their confidence might read this and begin thinking I can do it. Instead of posting a “I hate Trump or I hate Biden” meme today, share a positive message that just might change a life.

FknBucky

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15
Jan
22

A Kick in the Ass

By Bucktown 2 Comments
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Saturday night. I have playoff football playing in the background. I have another wheelchair I need to put together, but keep avoiding it because it is going to be a pain in the butt. I know better than to put things off that need to be done, but it is supposed to snow tomorrow here in Charlotte which means the city will be closed down for a few days. I believe it is going to be a lot of ice so I have no reason to drive around in that crap. I trust myself but I have zero confidence in the other drivers here in the South.

Sad to see Bob Saget pass away. We all grew up watching full house. I still remember seeing Bob do stand up comedy on HBO for the first time. I was blown away at how dirty he was. He was way beyond controversial. A few times I was even thinking ”Damn you can’t say that”, but he did say it and I loved him for it. I love people that say whatever they want. The ones that are always offended can piss off. You’re boring. Nobody wants to walk on your eggshells.

Bob had a chance to make a lot of money being a TV Dad and he took it. Can’t fault him for that although some do. It is different times now though with Instagram, Tik Toc, twitter, and all the other ways dumb drunk kids tell on themselves. Thank God there were no video cameras around when I was young although I was able to make myself memorable most times without pics or video. Only 1 FknBucky on the planet and you knew when you met him. My goal is to continue writing this year and find ways to get my blog out to the masses. It starts with writing more. I get ideas for blogs, but have been lacking in the follow thru department. You can’t chase dreams sitting still.

Whatever it is you want, you have to go get it. Everything is achievable if you are willing to put in the work. You don’t get to live your dream if you crush 12 beers every night. Well unless your dream is to crush 12 busch lights every night. Then you’ve made it friend. I hope your dreams are a bit bigger than this. I mean if you want to dream go for it all!!! 18 Busch Lights a night!! I believe in you. The truth is you have to be working when others aren’t. No matter what it is you desire, I guarantee you there are 100 other humans on Earth chasing the same thing. When you quit at 5 pm everyday, there is someone else pushing till 6 pm, 7 pm, all night.

My dream is to travel and write. I am going to make it. I see myself doing it already. If you can’t see me reaching all of my goals you don’t know me very well. I get down on myself, have hard times, doubt myself, and say F it I’m done. I don’t though. I don’t quit, I have my pity moment and then I get back to the grind. I’m thinking I wrote this blog for myself. I needed a kick in the ass. We all need an extra push from time to time. That is why great friends are important to have or a wonderful wife that is willing to physically harming you to make sure you get out of bed and chase that dream…..

RIP Bob — I’m willing to bet wherever Bob Saget is, he is hitting on Betty White right now. Play on Playa!!

FknBucky

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18
Nov
21

Choose Wisely

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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Justice for Ryan Cooper. We will not stop asking questions until they are answered. I am 2,000 miles away, but I still keep an line of communication with friends in Traer. They are as passionate and pissed off today as they were the day this happened. You can’t hide forever and the truth will come out.

I am what I would consider well traveled. I have barely scratched the surface on how much I want to travel as I would love to never spend a day in the same place. I thrive in this situation. Multiple times in my life I’ve gone on road trips across the USA without a plan. I would drive until dark, find a hotel, and then crash for the night. In the morning I would go to breakfast and ask locals what was cool around there to go see. A kind conversation with a local will always yield some great advice on what to go see. This is what we would do. Spend the day checking out the natural beauty of this world in a town I’ve never heard of and will most likely never return to. Once done we would drive a few hours until dark and repeat the same process. Here is a HUGE sentence so pay attention: ”You are not that busy, life is not that crazy, and whatever you are stressed out about is not impossible.”

For unknown reasons humans tend to build these imaginary walls around them and then complain they can’t get out of the box. You built the walls. You only have to decide to knock them down. Once again I say to you ”It is that simple.” STOP wasting time and days on things that don’t matter. You don’t get it Bucky, my problems are way harder than everyone else’s. To that I say Bullshit!! I can’t pay rent, Bucky. So what is stressing out about it solving?? Nothing. Get a part time job. Cancel cable. Stop stressing and start doing. Okay I’m getting off topic here. Doesn’t make it mean less though. Print this paragraph and staple it to your forehead.

My point today is don’t waste precious time. We don’t know when this amazing journey called life is going to end. I live in an apartment building close to Uptown Charlotte. It is nice enough, rent is fair, and over the last 6 years I’ve had a good number of next door neighbors that I talk to when I see them. My current neighbor is Chris. The day he moved in I was stealing his power. I had a power chair that needed charging in the back of my van. Instead of dragging it out, I used an extension cord, and plugged it in to his patio outlet. In my defense that apartment had been empty over a month so…. I came outside to see my cord unplugged and thrown back over the wall towards my van. My first thought was okay somebody moved in. I knocked on his door and apologized for stealing power. We talked, he explained he didn’t know what to do so he just unplugged it, and then gave me permission to use it anytime I needed.

His name is Chris and he died a couple days ago. He jogged daily and had a beautiful white mutt that he would take with him. Always a kind word and we would chat for a couple moments when we ran into each other in the hallway. Chris was only 26 years old. He was running a marathon which was a hobby of his, and collapsed near the finish line dead. I’m told his mother and step-father were at the finish line of the marathon and witnessed him collapsing. There was absolutely nothing anyone could do. He was just gone in an instant without warning. I can’t think of a more unfair situation. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, how many cool toys you have, or how long your bucket list is because when your ticket is punched, that is the end.

Chris’s death has to be insanely hard on his family, but I hope you, me, and everyone can use this tragedy to remind ourselves to stop waiting for the right time to start living. You have to start today. Right now. No more excuses. Writing is my passion. I love doing it and hope one day I will be good enough to make a living doing it. If you want to help that dream come true please give me 5 stars, sign up to have my blogs emailed to you when I publish one, share it with other people you know, and make comments below.

I didn’t know Chris super well, but I guarantee you that I’ll never forget him. I will use his story to fuel my drive and my relentless pursuit to make my dreams come true. To come full circle and tie in the beginning of this blog with the end I will tell you this. Traveling as I have, talking to people like I do, and just enjoying new people I am bound to know more tragedy. Learning wisdom from other peoples lives is a tool for a more enjoyable life, but you have to be willing to accept the message. Chris died at 26 doing everything right. If his story doesn’t light a fire in you I have no idea what will. You have complete control in your life. Make decisions your 80 year old self will be happy about. No ones turns 80 and thinks ”Man I should have wasted more time stressing over dumb crap.”

I don’t have pictures of Chris so I added one of Annabel. RIP neighbor. A true tragedy.

Learn to enjoy your day instead of constantly bitching about the long line at Walmart, the President, your kids, the neighbor with a loud car, or whatever else gets your panties bunched up. Life is either awesome or sucks. You get to decide. Choose wisely.

FknBucky

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07
Nov
21

Fallen Leaves

By Bucktown 2 Comments
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As mentioned before I will ask anyone that knows anything to please talk with authorities. Ryan Cooper was one of the kindest humans to be on this planet and his time here was cut short by some horrible person. I have other adjectives, but won’t put them in print. He deserves justice and I truly believe those responsible will be found and punished.

I look at the world objectively I think. I see things and think about them, analyze movements, differences from one time to another. I have a few friends that I’ve made along the way that can read situations and people as if they have a huge blinking sign above them. I’m kind of good at this sort of thing, but the few friends I speak of don’t even know they have this gift. One of them is a friend from high school and none of you would believe me if I told you who it was. I am in awe of it.

It is fall. It is cold. There are leaves everywhere. The ground, the road, sidewalks, my patio, and simply everywhere. I took Annie for a walk this AM and looked at all the leaves on the ramp we take everyday to the neighborhood we walk in. I remembered playing with her last year when she was about 6 months old. She loved the leaves. They crackled and I threw them in the air like bubbles a small child would blow. She would chase them around jumping and playing like those leaves were the coolest thing ever. It was fun, innocent, and a memory I have now. I didn’t think much of it until I watched her run up that ramp for the 900th time today and pay no attention to those leaves. One year ago they were the greatest, now they are nothing.

It happens to all of us. Things that were a must have one day become trivial and needless the next. A certain set of legos, a pair of shoes, a car you just have to have. As we get older we experience less “new” in our lives. We allow it to happen and it starts out very slow. Growing up there are lots of news. New toys, new friends, new experiences, traveling, sex, relationships, clubs, bars, drugs, drinking, and the list can go on, but at some point things become the same. The same friends, the same relationship, the same bar, the same job. You drive the same route to work everyday passing the same yellow civic on their way to work at 7:45 AM.

I think people get bored. The adventure of life is gone. I fall into this trap. Maybe that is why I moved across the country to a state I’ve never been to before at 38 years old. I am addicted to the adventure of life. I want to see everything, talk to everyone, and understand every culture there is. I dream of sailing around the world, putting the anchor down in some place I’ve never heard of, and then making lifelong friends that live there. I can’t think of a better way to live. I would leave today if the opportunity presented itself. If you’re a female (at birth) and this sounds like send me a message and lets do some crazy shit. ha.

Some people thrive in a structured environment. I think I thrive in chaos. I love people and things that are unpredictable. The world isn’t filled with people like me, but with those that follow the rules and do what is normal from what I can tell. Truth is most people have the ”action” gene in them, but it gets drowned out by the sounds of Get a Job, Raise a Family, Pay your Taxes, and all the rest of the noise drilled into our heads as we grow up. I’m not sure what the point of this blog is, but I felt like writing about it. I guess it is just important to remember to throw some leaves in the air once in a while. Be unpredictable. Give someone you hate a $100 bill.

Don’t worship money or possessions as they mean nothing. Nice to have nice things, but you can’t appreciate them if you’ve never been without them. Live however you want as long as it doesn’t hurt others. I’m tired of people telling others what they should and shouldn’t do. Get out of the rut and do things that scare you. I learned how to bake an apple pie from scratch simply because I wanted to see if I could do it. Then I made sure that it is the greatest apple pie ever. I’m just like you and forget to enjoy the leaves of life from time to time, but I write this blog to remind all of us that they only thing holding you back from adventure is you.

I wish you all a wonderful Sunday. The best way to help yourself is to help others.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

08
May
21

Elephants and Jigsaw Puzzles

By Bucktown 1 Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
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2:59 AM. Seems to be a theme the last few months. My back decided to scream out at 2:24 and my only choice was to get up. It’s okay I was meaning to watch the SkinWalker Ranch show on History. That was sarcasm although now I want to know where all that damn water went. Guess you’ll have to watch too now. My brain wanders while I’m doing different things like taking Annie for walks. I don’t need all my brain power to throw the frisbee so it allows me to almost meditate while I throw the disc for her. I think of the “problems” I face daily and search for solutions. I like to do jigsaw puzzles and when I look for a new one I literally type “worlds hardest jigsaw puzzle” into google. The one I have now is awesome. I love to find answers. To look at things from multiple angles and learn from them. It is simply the way my brain works.

This current puzzle of just a bunch of lines drawn randomly (so it seems) looks to be impossible when a person first sees it. Well not to me, but we are about to get into that. I see a challenge. 1,000 pieces. The first thing is to get my first match or fit the first two pieces together. Boom not impossible anymore. I think well even if I only get one match per day I’ll be done in 1,000 days. When someone says that will take forever, well not anymore. 1,000 days is not forever. When I get two fits, then I think okay now it is only 500 days. This leads me to a couple metaphors that are popular. First one is how do you eat an elephant?? One bite at a time.

The other one I like a lot is imagine a giant ship like the one our friend from the last blog was stuck on. Big deal to turn that beast around. If you were to turn the Rudder only 1 degree to the right that massive ship would slowly start to turn. That ginormous ship will turn all the way around as long as you stay on the path. I use this analogy in my life. I don’t have to make a complete about face today. Just shift the rudder 1 degree and then stay with it. You can change your life with very little immediate sacrifice. Maybe tonight you only drink 5 beers instead of 6. Skip that last cigarette before bed. Ask your partner how their day was. Slow down slightly and let the car merge in front of you. You don’t have to become a different person overnight. All that you need is a willingness to try to change, and then follow thru.

I was planning to talk about a completely different angle on this whole puzzle thing, but I think I should split it up into multiple blogs. For today I think it is a perfect time to remind you that it is never to late to make a change. You don’t have to turn the ship around in one day. Just tweak the rudder a bit to the left or right. The change in direction will be slight at first, but soon you and others around you will start to see the shift. There are some people in your life that will be proud of you, some will be confused by you, and unfortunately there will be some people that want you to go back in the original direction. They don’t want you changing because it reminds them that they aren’t doing anything.

I am reminded of a time that a friend of mine after listening to “Jim Rohn – Excelling in the new millennium” decided to quit drinking for a week. A whole 7 days. For someone that drank daily the 7 days was a reasonable goal. It was insane to me how many of his friends could not handle it. They would show up with booze and say “come on” just have a couple with us. Good friends would respect his decision and help him reach a goal. He made it the week, but told me that he wouldn’t do it again. Kind of sad.

Ugh!! Twice now I have finished a blog only to have it not actually save so I have to write again. My frustration level is 1,000 right now. Oh well. Here is the point today. You can change. You can go the complete opposite direction you are currently on. it doesn’t have to be all at one time. Just make that 1 degree turn, put two pieces together, or simply start taking bites of the elephant. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life that I’m not proud of. I am proud that I paid attention and learned the lessons on these mistakes.

Don’t be afraid of the harder path. I could do easy puzzles, but I’ve already done that and so have you. Never underestimate your strength as we all have it inside us, but you have to test it, exercise it, and prove to yourself nothing is impossible. I wanted to start my own business and have. October will be 2 years. I am very proud of that. I wanted to write this blog more often and then make t-shirts. I am proud of that as well. I am in the process of starting a non-profit that will be making a film. More details on that in the future. Life is short, chase your dreams starting today, and never let anyone hold you back.

Remember to be kind. Be the person to give random smiles to strangers. A simple honest compliment can turn someone else’s day around. Most importantly you have to start whatever it is. Find two pieces that fit and boom you are on your way.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

FknBucky shirts are almost done. Here is picture of the black ones. I also have grey, light blue, and maroon shirts available. The spot with my face is actually a soft cloth for cleaning your glasses I had printed and then sewn onto the inside of the shirt. Yeah that was all my idea! 🙂 A formal announcement will be coming soon allowing you to order.

I appreciate all of you very much. Chase your dream!

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