Posts Tagged ‘funny

22
May
25

Overcome

The fight continues. The show must go on. Never give up. Blah blah blah Just words. Maybe a poster one of your co-workers has up in their cubicle. My personal favorite is the one of the frog refusing to be eaten. It really does embody the thought of “never give up”. I’ll google it and put it at the start of the next paragraph. Pictures come last if you didn’t know.

If you’ve been absent the last few months let me catch you up. I’m fat. There you go. Okay now the rest of the story, shout out to Paul Harvey. After dying and coming back to life in May 24’ I was almost 300 lbs. I see photos from back then and I’m amazed at how much weight I allowed myself to gain, but my health issues made life extremely hard. I am paralyzed so the extra lbs caused me a lot of problems. I had to make some changes so I did. I started exercising, changed my diet, and set goals. Setting goals is as important as the other two. It is foolish to start a journey with no concept of a destination.

My first goal was to lose 50 lbs, then 75, now 100, and eventually 125 which will put me around 175 total. I also decided that I wanted to be able to do a pull up. Strap my chair to me or me to it rather and get my chin above the bar. Not the bar you take Jame-O shots from. Ha. To reach this goal I have to lose weight and gain strength. Hello weight lifting. I started with some dumbbells at home. 10 lb curls. It is a lot when you come off of life support so 3 sets of 10 with those small bells were all I could do at the beginning. I stuck with it. This AM I did 5 sets of 21 with 20 lb dumbbells. Sometimes I do 5 sets of 12 with 25 lbs. That is a massive improvement for about 7 months.

Yesterday I decided to hit the gym at my apartment complex to work on my chest using one of the machines. After my second set I probably pushed a bit too hard, I lost my balance, and fell off the darn machine to the floor. I was the only one there and screwed. I looked around to see what I could use to get back up and saw nothing. To myself I said “Oh Shenanigans, this is a bummer!” I was surprised as well. It isn’t very often I use such language…… I decided to crawl to a machine nearby with a little lower seat and of course I had to drag my chair along with me. I bet you didn’t think about that did you…..

Once there it became clear that plan was not going to cut it so I started to search again. I saw a treadmill and thought if I can get on that, scoot to the other end, I could be high enough to transfer back into my chair. Then I thought about other people walking into the gym and seeing my crippled ass sitting on the treadmill. Let that sink in for a second. Plenty of one liners would be good for that. I could say:

“Never hurts to try right??”

“I didn’t think this thru!”

This is how my brain works. Even while laying on the cement in the gym completely eff’d, I thought of jokes and made myself laugh. I would love for you to comment what you think I should have said. Be creative and remember it is only cruel, if it isn’t funny.

On my way to the treadmill I saw a different option. There was a bosu ball and a bench. I thought I can get on the bosu ball, climb onto the bench, scoot to the top, and then back into my chair. I made it over and the planned worked out perfectly. I worked up a sweat and about three minutes later another resident walked into the gym completely unaware of the absolute carnage I had just been thru. She smiled at me kindly seeing how sweaty I was and must have thought “Wow, that super insanely handsome wheelchair guy is really getting after it!” I’m not mind reader, but I’m pretty sure that is what she was thinking.

I was worried about using the machines in the gym because I might fall off one. It held me back. Was that fear justified?? Of course, but something beautiful happened yesterday. I learned that I have nothing to be afraid of. The worst happened and I over came it. Alone. I also know why I fell so I won’t make that mistake again, but if I do, I know how to handle it. We don’t overcome our fears by avoiding the things we are afraid of, we become stronger by facing those things head on and then making them our “beach”.

Know what else I learned?? How to spell Bosu Ball. Hmmmm. It was a really informative day.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

25
Jul
17

From Target with Love

kristen-wiig-target-lady

 

Let me be the first to say that my sister has done an amazing job with her two boys.  I absolutely loved having them come visit. That goes for all of my nieces and nephews.  Very proud of all 137 of them.  Or something like that. You would think my brothers and sisters would find a new hobby…

 

I told you the other day I would relay a couple of fun stories that happened while the nephews were here in the QC.  This would be one of those, at least I find it funny so I hope it gives you a smile today as well.

 

The boys and I had to swing by our local Target store to pick up some ping pong balls. I mean what is a trip to visit Uncle Bucky without learning the art of beer pong??  Don’t worry I made sure no one was looking when they did the drinking. I’m not an idiot.  We walk into Target and I needed to use the gender-neutral restroom. No one will ever know what I’m packing….  The boys stay outside with Murphy (my service dog) and hang out.

 

I come out of the restroom and an eloquently dressed lady looks at me and says, “Those are two fine young men you have there.”

 

I said, “Thank you”

 

Now we walk into the store area and need to cross in front of all the registers.  You know where the most people are gathered and I would certainly estimate at least 30 of them including our new nicely dressed friend.  I’m in front of the boys and rolling along nicely with Murphy still thinking “hmm they really are good kids” when I hear it. The younger one lets out a grunt that only men can distinguish immediately.  I stop and turn around already knowing what I’m going to see.

 

There is bean boy on his knees holding his God given bean bag with a red face going “Ugggg.”  Next to him is his brother with that look on his face.  You know the one you make at 2:30 AM when you pop out of your blackout and everyone is staring at you.  Okay maybe you don’t know, but it is a “what I’d do face times 1,000”!  He doesn’t get the blackout excuse yet though because we hadn’t even started beer pong!

 

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My immediate reaction was WHY??  Thru gritted teeth I’m expressing my extreme appreciation of the situation with selected words and of course the eyes that say all.  Everyone is staring and my two fine boys are now a couple of ball punchers.  Only took a matter of seconds to change that around.  While on the floor as I’m letting blackout boy know he is going to die later, bean boy looks up and says “It’s okay Uncle Bucky.  He owed me!”

 

Time and place boys.  Time and place.

 

I’m sure those of you that have young boys have similar stories.  Just had to share this one.  Remember sometimes the punch in the nads you receive is simply payback.

 

Enjoy your day.

FknBucky




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