Posts Tagged ‘God

18
May
25

GOD’S IN CHARGE

By Bucktown 3 Comments
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Go back and read Ice Cream Satan first. If you dare….

Been a few days. The whole parking thing really got to me. I don’t expect most of you to truly understand, but it becomes psychological warfare at times over those damn blue man spots. I’ve spent $1,500 in fines a towing fees since moving to Charlotte for parking in handicap spots and forgetting to put up a placard, having to swap my plate, or whatever other reason. Once my placard was only sitting on my dash, it snowed (usually happens 1 time a year here), covered the bottom of my windshield, and my car was towed costing me $300. The placard was clearly visible when I went to pick up the car because the snow had blown off the windshield during the drive.

I let it go yesterday and decided to move on. I gave those greedy pricks $180 of my hard earned money and closed the chapter on hating tow people. Not the book because I’m confident no matter how hard I try to never have an issue, I will slip up and they will be there to nail my ass to the cross. Never fails. In order to ensure I don’t get booted again I had to fast track my parking placards which meant I had to drive to my doctors office and wait for 2 hours for her to sign a form. The only way she would sign it is if I promised to come back the next day for an official visit. So stupid, I agreed.

I went back Friday morning for the appointment. The first question was “What brought me in to see the doctor?” Sometimes I want to punch the world. After this intellectually exhausting talk I took Annie to a patch of grass we always play on when I go to this office. The last few years have had me at the doctor office a lot as some of you know. After playing for a bit I of course had to pick up after Annie which I always try to do, but someone else isn’t so great at picking up after their dog. I rolled thru their poo to pick up Annie’s poo. I truly don’t understand the universe sometimes and yes there is a bigger point to all this so hold on and be amazed.

A friend of mine that has a non-profit asked if I would speak at his fundraiser Friday night about volunteering and staying positive. Perfect timing right. I gave the talk, but forgot to turn the sound on so the FB live video was pointless although it did show me that all my dieting has been paying off. I’m clearly MUCH lighter in that video. In fact I was amazed by it. So much so that today when ordering groceries I ordered Ice Cream. I thought Eff this week, I deserve it, and got my two favorite flavors. Bryers Mint Chip and BJ – Half Baked. Both are delicious and I haven’t had sugar since Easter so why not cheat a bit.

Well God has a different plan. Say what you will, but there is real purpose going on here. I’m meant to do this darn pull up and learn from all this hardship. Maybe I’m being tested to get thru problems without grabbing a crutch. I hit submit on the order and then dozed off in my recliner while watching tv. I woke up to Annie barking at the door. Ugh I thought. I had to wake up from nap time and get the groceries inside. Can’t let the ice cream melt..

I brought all the bags in and thought “Hmmm where is the ice cream.” There was none. Both flavors I asked for were out of stock and the delivery company refunded my money instead of getting a replacement. I’m in awe of the situation actually. It never happens this way. All the fruit, veggies, chicken, and healthy crap I ordered came thru just fine. Only the sugar was canceled by Big Bang Theory. I took a screenshot of my phone once I double checked what happened.

I will end with this. Humanity failed me this week. I was let down by people I care about, people I don’t like very much, and people I’ll never meet. The common theme is people. They pushed me to a breaking point and I’m not proud of that, but it is reality. I also know I’m not alone and that all of you have been there and will be again someday. I say this to myself and you. God is in control. He has a plan. I will reach this goal and the others I’ve set for myself. When I am doing the pull up it will be because God’s hand is lifting me.

FknBucky

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30
Apr
25

Ice Cream Satan

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Ice cream. I love it. So much. Ben and Jerry’s half baked. Phish food. Hagen Daaz. Bryers Mint chip. Give me some more. I have had the largest cravings for the last couple hours and kept thinking “You’ve been doing so good lately, you deserve a reward…”. Nobody will fault you if you just have a little bite to give you a quick boost…. I say to that “BULLSTUFF!”

I made a goal to do a pull up. I’m going to do that damn pull up even if it kills me. I’d rather die trying to reach that goal than live with a belly full of Caramel Cone.. Okay that is lie. Caramel Cone is eff’ing delicious, but not today Ice Cream Satan.

This is a short blog because I have to run to the store and buy ice cream. Just kidding I don’t run anywhere dummy. Look I’ve made a promise to myself a few months back and I’m not going to let myself down. No one but me would know if I cheated, but I’m the only one that matters in this equation.

The point of this short memo is to let all of you know that I’m out here suffering as well. A good kind of suffer. When I wake up tomorrow I’ll know I powered thru the craving, I’m still firmly on the path to glory, and that will give me the confidence to do another day. You can do whatever it is. Don’t let that stupid ice cream satan voice in your head talk you into deviating from the journey. Success is waiting for you and I to show up. 🙂

There is power in numbers. Comment if you’re with me.

FknBucky

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12
Mar
25

Kill the Messenger

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Do I look fat in this dress?? We all know better than to answer that one, but truth is…. Don’t shoot the messenger one might say. Many people would rather die than answer that question honestly and for good reason, but are they really helping?? Telling someone a lie just to keep the peace can work for a while, but over time heart disease or diabetes could show up. That would be a really bad thing and looking back I bet just about everyone of you would trade that diagnosis for one awkward conversation. The people that wouldn’t have a large life insurance policy on you.

We tend to take our anger out on the wrong person many times in life and that is just human nature from what I’ve learned along the way. I’m not perfect and have had to give plenty of apologies in my lifetime. What do fat men in dresses have to do with your blog today Bucky?? I’m getting there. Stop trying to rush me. See what I did there?? I’m pointing out something really stupid in a roundabout way.

Right now we have a bunch of idiots screaming about Elon Musk like he is some sort of villain. In reality he is simply trying to save us from heart disease. Last I checked Elon didn’t run up 37 TRILLION dollars in national debt. He isn’t even taking a salary unlike the R, D, and I a-holes that ARE responsible for running up our American credit card to a level that is criminal. This is a man that cares about us so much that he is willing to have the proverbial lamp thrown at his head every single day so that we can get back on track and not DIE. He deserves a cape, not a bunch of foul mouth politicians talking smack about him in the news everyday in hopes some lunatic assaults him.

I never wanted an electric car until now. I wish I had F U money because I would buy a Tesla tomorrow. I hope anyone that has pride in America and can afford one does get one. Did you know it is the most American made automobile we have in this country?? Guess how many great paying jobs and families that company supports?? Way more than the Transgender Opera we paid for with your tax dollars in the country of Columbia. That is a real thing he found. If you are in support of that great for you. No one said it can’t happen, we are just saying with a maxed out credit card we aren’t paying for it. I bet not one of the jerks shooting bullets at Tesla dealerships, lighting cars on fire, or even protesting outside of his businesses are willing to write a check to refund those things. Please show me the guy/gal with pen in hand. Just one.

They won’t. How about the Iraq Sesame Street that was funded 20 million with tax dollars?? Please show me the American that will willingly write that check with money they actually work for. Instead they demonize a patriot that volunteered his time to bring these atrocities to light and I’m not staying silent about it. In fact I’m pissed off anyone would treat this man like this.

It is time for everyone to pick a side and for honest hardworking people to say ENOUGH. How about we direct our anger where it is deserved?? At the jerks that caused these problems, funded these asinine projects with YOUR money, have no respect for the time you spend away from your family earning a living, and STOP letting them manipulate us in order to line their pockets.

God/Big Bang Theory Bless you Elon. And THANK YOU!

FknBucky

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Please go to the DOGE website and let me know which project they have cut that you are willing to pay for out of your pocket. I’ll be happy to help facilitate that for you. I know a girl. 🙂

10
Feb
25

CHAMPION

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Well that game sucked. Said NO Philly fans. I really thought it would come down to the last drive of the game, but that Super Bowl was over at halftime. The Eagles had Patrick Mahomes’s number and kept dialing it like a teenage girl on her first babysitting job in the 90’s. Teenage girls spend a lot of time on the phone and in the 90’s there were no cell phones so while babysitting a young lady could use the phone all she wants. I forget some people don’t remember the olden times. Over and over that Eagle defense pounded Mahomes like he was paying for it in the Big Easy.

Like a professional though they took the L, gave glory to God, and moved on. It is already time to start thinking about next season. You can lose the game, but still be a champion. How Bucky?? The same way the Eagles did two years ago. Mahomes is no loser, Hurts is no loser, and all of those athletes should be insanely proud of the work they put in all season. Chiefs fans have nothing to complain about today. That was a magical season and winning 12 games by one score AND having 12 comeback wins in the 4th quarter is amazing! What an exciting season to watch.

If Jalen Hurts had let the loss of the Super Bowl ruin him two years ago he would never have made it back to become MVP last night. Just 24 months ago he woke up listening to all the people talking after losing the big game to the Chiefs about how he wasn’t the one, he wasn’t good enough to win the big one, and how he was this and he was that. He lost that game, but was a champion inside. YOU just didn’t know it yet, he never had any doubts.

We live in an age with tons of information at our fingertips. I can google the recipe for Pad Thai, the shoe size Shaq wears, and buy a new bedroom set all from my phone in less time than it took to write this sentence. People’s opinions are readily available for every sucker begging to hear it. I’m going to tell you something important. The only opinion that matters is yours. How do you see yourself?? What do you believe yourself to be?? A winner, a loser, a nothing…..

I’m a winner. I lose a lot, but I will never quit. When my time is done on Earth no one will say Bucky is a quitter that gave up when things got difficult. Nope. All I want to do is earn the respect of my peers by working hard, staying strong, giving my all everyday, and becoming a better man each day. I want to encourage those around me to be better by example. That is an important one. Telling other humans to be better is different than showing the benefits of bettering yourself to those you love and care about. Leading by example if you will. Another one of those old sayings that will never become outdated.

Be a champion in your mind so you can become a champion in everyone else’s.

FknBucky

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19
Jul
24

That one thing

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Short, tall, rich, poor, white, black, American, Brazilian, or anything else you can think of to describe what we all are. They are simply labels, but the truth when it is broken down, we are all humans. Democrat, Republican, Independent, or whatever party you choose to be a part of again we are the same. Only our minds are different. That thing inside your head that grows with you year after year. Each experience you have makes a notch in it creating who you are right now. Somewhere along the way a person cared enough about you to make sure you learned how to read otherwise you would be playing candy crush level 4,384 instead of reading this blog. You should call and thank them.

I have a point to this so hang on. People with less actually are able to appreciate the topic I’m writing about. The thing we all have regardless of who we vote for. The thing that so many humans forget to appreciate on a daily basis. We spend each day chasing a dollar, working for the man, being annoyed by those around us, and forgetting the best thing in each of us. What could that be? Simple and it is only one word. Blessings.

We all have them. Are you dry? Cool?? Do you have something to eat today?? It may not be steak and lobster, but if you have a full belly then you are blessed. You may not have a 23 bedroom mansion, but are you in the rain?? I don’t have air conditioning Bucky. Hmmmm. Do you have a fan? Blessing. I don’t have a fan Bucky. Hmmm. Got a window?? If the answer is no then you’re in jail. If you’re in jail stop wasting time reading this and go get a book. Start with this one. How to stop committing crimes for Dumbasses.

I wasn’t going to write this evening, but Annie kept shoving this darn football onto my lap. I was annoyed with her, but then it hit me that instead of annoyed I should feel blessed she wants to hang out with me. Instead of being annoyed with your family after a long week remember how blessed you are to have them. Close your eyes, imagine life without them, take ownership of that feeling, and then remember it every time you begin to be annoyed.

It is proven that people in poor countries are genuinely happier simply because they haven’t been tainted with all the BS some of us have been. They don’t compare their life with a fake family on TV. Instead they care about each other and appreciate the things they do have. I make a point to do that everyday, I always feel better about what I have today, and it reminds me to appreciate everyone I’ve met along the way. Thank you to everyone that has blessed my life.

Feel blessed right now. Be a shame to not be happy with a full belly.

FknBucky

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18
Jul
24

stick

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Scott Wood Photo (Amazing)

Beauty. Funny word. Means many different things to just about everyone. What is beautiful to you?? A view? A woman? A man? A car? Truck? An experience? All of them? For me it is very simple. A look in the mirror. I’m one beautiful human. Life hasn’t been an easy path for me and it hasn’t been for you either, but we all must work at keeping our confidence. If you don’t work at it who will do it for you? I promise the world will only try to kill your confidence not help grow it. Surround yourself with people that only have your best interest in mind or life becomes unnecessarily harder.

I was playing frisbee with Annie the other day and saw a walking stick crawling across the cement floor of this little shack we use for shade at the park. I can’t remember ever seeing one in the “wild” before, but I was enamored with it. Maybe I was jealous of that darn stick that can walk…. Haha It was gorgeous and I couldn’t stop watching it slowly crawl across the floor to nowhere. Just endless cement, but it didn’t know that because it could only see/sense what is right in front of it. I could see the path he was traveling was a futile one so I kept trying to steer it another way, but that darn stubborn stick fought me no matter what I did. I remember thinking this must be how God or Big Bang Theory feels watching me live my life.

Sometimes the most inspirational things are complete surprises to us, but we must be patient enough to see them. Learning to me is beautiful. I simply love to learn anything new and watching that bug taught me lessons I had no idea I needed when I woke up that morning. I moved it off the cement into some rocks, but then thought it was a stick not a rock so that was no good. I grabbed a twig and it crawled onto it almost immediately so I rolled about 50 feet away into some wood chips. I found a small tree, put that walking stick onto a branch, and watched it for a couple minutes. It only took about 30 seconds for uncoordinated idiot to fall off. Kind of like me.

It didn’t hit the ground though. A small strand of something came out of its butt, it hung about 4 inches from the branch, and I was about to “save” it when something remarkable happened. It started to climb up this string that came out of it. As it blew around in the wind that darn bug got closer and closer to the branch I put it on until it made it back to safety. I had been in awe of this creature for 20 minutes and thought it had no more beauty to see, but like many times in my life I was wrong.

There is more beauty inside yourself if you just take the time to see it. Once you can see it, then and only then, can the world see it.

FknBucky

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20
Feb
24

Justice?

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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I got a text about Noon telling me that Karina was in custody for the murder of Ryan Cooper. I’m a Traer boy at heart and honestly writing that sentence made me cry. I’m not afraid to admit that. There are a massive amount of emotions going on right now, but the hope is with someone being held accountable and with time people may start healing. Reality is these types of wounds never actually heal. Time goes by and people start to move on to other topics, but we’ll never forget or be whole again. A part of us was taken that can’t regrow or be replaced. The hurt will never fully go away even as time goes by and we start to talk about the price of beans, the road construction on D65, or the prick up the road that keeps tearing up the dirt road.

Truth is as much as I prayed that justice would come in this case, I realized today it doesn’t change the pain or make sense of this BS. We were all robbed of an amazing friend, brother, son, father, and the world was better and happier with Ryan a part of it. He will never be forgotten. That is a fact. He is still here with us thru the children he was taken from. I pray everyone remembers they are the ultimate victims in all of this. Please talk with your kids about how crazy this situation is and make sure they understand how their words can help or hurt so choose them very wisely. I can’t imagine dealing with the nightmare they’ve been given at NO FAULT of their own. Life is not fair on levels I didn’t realize were possible.

I’ve had a good number of friends reach out to me and all of them say the same thing. The hurt is like this just happened yesterday. I meant the words I wrote 2.5 years ago the brotherhood one becomes a member of living in a small town. The Busch Light brotherhood I called it. Membership can’t be bought, it can only be earned. It is lifetime membership with annual dues being make sure you have a big cooler of beer ready to go once the work is done.

My thoughts and prayers are with his family. I know they will most likely read this and I hope they understand how much Ryan touched my life, he was loved, and appreciated by many others. I spoke with another friend today who was asked to testify this morning about Ryan. She told me that she said “You can ask anyone in Traer or anyone that knew Ryan, there isn’t a person on Earth that had issues with him. There was no fighting, no running of the mouth, and simply just a great man that could be relied on no matter what it was he agreed to do. I have met thousands of people in my life. NOT one can be compared to Coop.

I don’t know what will happen in court. I do say let the rule of law take its course. This event only proves once again that evil exists in the world. I don’t know why. Heaven or Hell, Good or Bad, God or Satan, BIg Bang Theory and not Big Bang Theory. Whatever you believe doesn’t change the fact that evil is around us everyday. Some people get very good at hiding it. There is no reasoning, no explanations to be had, and simply the hard truth tells us that it is real.

Ryan didn’t deserve this evil done to him and we all know that. His kids should have their father still. It makes me beyond angry to think of how unfair this is. He should be old and gray watching grandkids open Christmas presents. I can see him in his den surrounded by toy tractors on the wall, some deer mounts from successful hunts, and of course a 1:8 scale cattle hauler that cost as much as his first car on display that everyone knows isn’t for playing with. Well not until Grandpa had his special drinks and ends up on the floor playing farm with the young ones.

I am surprised at how fresh these feelings of hurt are. We appreciate the small town for many things. Knowing people your whole life, your kids and their kids go to school together, and eventually your grandkids and their grandkids go to school together. There is a feeling of safety in a small town and it brings comfort to us knowing everyone. The downside is when something really really tragic happens it affects everyone. This is that. This hurts everyone. I believe the police have done their job and done it well. They didn’t cave to people screaming we want justice now, but slowly built up a solid case against Karina. She is innocent until proven guilty, but I will not be donating to her defense fund.

I say this to my Busch Light brothers and sisters. Please don’t let your anger and hatred dim the shining light Ryan brought to us all. His memory should not be tainted by this evil human that abused his love, manipulated his trust, and stole a father from his children. I will choose to remember him flipping me off from the cab of that cattle hauler. Twice he got me. The snapchats he sent telling me he smelled like money when I said he was covered in shit. He deserves that. For all of us to remember him for who he was and not for how he was taken away.

Give hugs to people you love and then tell them “I love you.”

I don’t know what else to say. I just have a lot of emotions and writing is how I deal with things I can’t process yet. I know I’m not alone in that.

FknBucky

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01
Apr
22

20

By Bucktown 3 Comments
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Writing. I haven’t done enough as of late. Not sure why as I’ve had plenty to say. That could be part of it. Sometimes I’d rather just keep my opinions to myself and save myself from the drama of having people who barely know me tell me how wrong I am. I know thousands of people from all over the world. It was life goal of mine to meet everyone on the planet. I’ve fallen short, but not from lack of effort. Ready for the blow your mind moment?? Only a handful of people on Earth truly know me. You’ve heard about me, had a beer or ten with me, got a couple pics with me, but none of those things mean you know me.

Do you know what today is??? I can never forget. I think about it every single day. My own personal hell that will never stop. I replay it over and over and over. I have no pause button. No redo. I can’t simply turn it off or ignore it. You look at me with pity only because deep down you know that you could never be strong enough to be me. You think about the easy way out. How you would quit before the game even starts. Anyone can train their body, lift lots of weights, do two hours of cardio, take drugs for faster and bigger gains, but true strength is in ones mind. I see past the muscles. I’ve already won before we start because I know the truth. Your mind is weak and you will give up when anything becomes difficult. I welcome all challengers. Prove me wrong.

What is the point today Bucky?? If you truly know me you wouldn’t ask. The past is just that. Passed. Gone. Never coming back. So why do you dwell on it?? Some of you even attempt to live in it. Refusing to let go. Like a dog, I can smell your fear and self doubt. You can never be great because you’re too scared to fail, to fall, to look foolish, to have the spotlight on you, and when your time comes you will die. Some will cry, some will say ”Oh that’s too bad” or ”He/She was a good person”, but after a few days it will be like you were never here or there. Don’t blame me for saying it, blame yourself for allowing it to happen.

20 years. Long time. Long time for an individual, but barely a drop in the bucket of life. I wrecked that motorcycle 20 years ago today. My spinal cord crushed. My body broken forever. Never to walk again without assistance. A life sentence. No parole, no probation, no time off for good behavior. Just pain. Just hardship. The fake smiles when you say ”You’re so strong” that translates into Thank God it isn’t me, I would kill myself.” Don’t feel bad. I’ve thought about that path many of times. No more falling out of my chair, no more spasms, no more accidents, no more pain, and no more stress when one takes the easy way out.

No more parties, no more visits with my nieces and nephews, no more hugs, no more challenges to overcome, no more puzzles to finish, no more happy, no more surprises, no more frisbee with the pup, no more anything. Just whatever happens after Earth. I have thoughts on the bad, but I let my mind dwell on the good. I overcome the challenges to enjoy the laughter, the good times, the memories we make, and do the best I can everyday to help others enjoy their short time here. To leave the party we call life early is just stupid. At 43 it is just getting good. The music is LOUD, turned up to 11. Pick your poison.

Tupac – California Love https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omfz62qu_Bc

Pantera – F&#King hostile https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QcMhOFAVzE

Oasis – Champagne Supernova https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6cyIG0CRQg

Spooks – Things I’ve seen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AJ7W-HRa8g

I’m Bucky. If you know me, you know I don’t leave early, heck I don’t show up early. I show up fashionably late with a handle in each hand. A pack of pretty ladies behind me ready to make this night memorable. I pour shots and say ”Who is ready for the hot tub??” Whats that?? Bathing suits are for children. No memory worth having ever started with let me get my suit on. My smile is contagious. My dimples say ”this is a good idea” and thank God neither of those were damaged in that accident.

I could have died that day. Instead I got 20 bonus years that I have not wasted. Wake up. Stop quitting. Be spontaneous. Throw the middle finger up to those who wish to control you. You are not a D or an R. Liberal or Conservative. You’re a person. Capable of having fun, capable of helping others have fun, and hopefully capable of thinking for yourself. Hug your enemy. Pour shots for people that annoy you. Stop being a buzzkill. Stop saying ”you’re so strong” and simply cheers me when I say ”Here is to the next 20!!!”

I love life. It is hard. It sucks sometimes. It is beautiful. It is amazing. Most importantly it will be exactly as you want it to be. Want an adventurous life?? Be adventurous. Want a good life?? Be good to yourself and others. Want a crap life?? Fill your head with self doubt and treat those around you horribly. I promise you’ll have all the crap you can handle.

Don’t be weak in your mind. Be kind to everyone. Learn to enjoy failure, but learn from each time. Turn the music UP. Stay up late once in a while. Most importantly remember you are never too old to flip the bird to those that try to control you.

FknBucky

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As always if you like the blog please make a comment below and share it. The feedback gives me fuel to write more often.

03
Dec
21

Tragedy and Smiles

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I want to share a story with you today. A very important one that I hope will open your eyes, your heart, and help motivate you to count your blessings instead of constantly wishing for more. There is a club that no one wants to join. There is no name for it, it has no leader, and it is guaranteed that all members wish they could unjoin. It is a club of tragedy. Accidents that change the body is the cost of membership. I became a member April 1st, 2002 and have been dealing with it every single day since. This isn’t my story though.

I volunteer because I am able to help and I know that. I offer my everything to the people I talk with at the rehab hospital. I will answer any questions no matter how personal, help with any equipment they may need or want to know about, and I’m happy to talk with family members that want to learn/understand how to best help the loved one that is going thru this physical nightmare. I’ve probably talked with at least few hundred confused/scared people over the years and I’m very proud of that.

Travis and Staci Hoyle gave me permission to use their real names in this blog. Travis was injured a couple months ago and is currently using a wheelchair. I want to express one thing here very strongly. It isn’t your business how it happened. Don’t ask. Ever. It is not okay. Don’t say I’m one of those people that just blurt it out. Travis will tell you if he wants to. Instead do something easy. Talk to him like you would without the chair. He is the same person today as he was 6 months ago. Bust his balls, call him ugly, give him a hard time about driving a Nissan, or whatever else you normally do.

The Hoyle’s have a tough road ahead. It isn’t impossible, but it is hard and they will need that 4 wheel drive of his F150, (it is actually a 2004 Nissan 4×4 Supercharged) to get thru it. “Travis made sure I corrected that.” I have no doubts that they will. This is a strong family from what I have seen. Leave your pity at home. Nobody needs that crap. Bring your happiness, smiles, never give up attitude, and instead of asking for details on what happened say ”I know you got this and I’m here if you need anything.”

I see strength, fear, and determination in Staci and Travis’s eyes. It is okay to have fear because everything is new and we fear what we don’t know. The strength they have has nothing to do with lifting weights. True strength is in a persons mind, it is strong to accept reality, it is strong to smile first thing in the morning and say I can do this, it is strong to remember you’re not the only one going thru this, and most importantly it is strong to acknowledge other people are hurting as well. Pity parties are stupid and worthless so have a strength party. Challenge everyone around you to use the strength God gave them to overcome this obstacle. Once again I will say I have no doubt they will overcome this, but friends and family have a HUGE role to play to make that happen.

Unfortunately bad things happen to great people all the time. It is unfair and makes me want to scream at nothing sometimes. 20 years of membership and yes sometimes I still have moments of extreme weakness and anger. The key is to not live there. Accept the emotions, work thru them naturally, and get back to living your best life. Avoid the ”what if” hole because it simply leads to depression, anger, and regrets. What if I didn’t go, what if I didn’t stop for coffee, what if I didn’t date her, what if what if, and more what if. That is pointless because no matter how much you torture yourself it will not ever change the outcome.

You don’t have to be Travis and Staci to use the advice above. Everyone has hardships in life, hardship plays no favorites, and facing it head on is the right course of action. There is a benefit for Travis on Sunday. I’m told the 300 available tickets sold out very quickly. Money is always welcome and helpful, but kind words and genuine caring is fuel for the fighting spirit alive inside of Travis and Staci. This is not an easy road, but once again it is not impossible. The only thing different is Travis got a lot shorter and won’t be running up any stairs for a while.

Remember as this battle goes on that smiles and laughter are okay. In fact they are a must. Focus on the things that make you smile. Watching your kids succeed at anything. Holding your partner in front of a fireplace on a rainy night. Laughing with your friends while telling old stories. One of my best friends growing up and I would always yell when Welcome Home (Sanitarium) by Metallica came on. It is a random thing, but after my accident while having a tough moment in life that song come over the radio. I was instantly transported back in time and smiled gratefully that I was still alive to enjoy that memory. It is okay to be happy while dealing with tragedy. To this day every time I hear this song, I’m instantly 19 years old again, yelling at the radio with my friends while drinking a Busch Light.

It is easy to find reasons to be unhappy, mean, and ungrateful. True strength is when you put all those aside and find one reason to smile. You only need one. Kids, wife, family, friends, pets, food in your stomach, warm place to sleep, and so on. You can choose to be happy in horrible situations. In life when we are forced into situations beyond our control it is important to concentrate on the one thing we always have control of. Your Attitude. It is easy to smile at the end of the trip, but more important to keep that smile and positive attitude going during the journey no matter how long it may be.

I hope everyone who reads this will share it. You never know who needs to hear the message above. If you can donate money please do and then share this message. If you can’t send money I only ask you share this message so others will see it and be able to help.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/257mk-help-travis-hoylespinal-cord-injury?member=14697887&utm_campaign=contacts-v2-invite-to-donate&utm_medium=sms&utm_source=twilio

Count your blessings. Be grateful for the people in your life. Truly grateful for them.

FknBucky

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We still need Justice for Ryan Cooper. Please come forward if you have any information. As Russell Crowe said in the Gladiator “We will have our vengeance, in this lifetime or the next.”

02
Aug
21

“I’m Lovin You”

By Bucktown 1 Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This isn’t how I envisioned my next blog to go. I haven’t published anything since writing about Ryan. Not that I haven’t had things to say, it just felt so trivial once I started putting it into words. We lose the purpose of existence in a moment. 9/11 – We are one!!! A few years later it is a Facebook post that catches your eye so you share it saying never forget as you grab another Truly from the cooler. I’m not saying it is right or wrong. It simply is what happens. The best way to honor the people we love that left us to soon is to cherish the moments we have with the people still here. That is the purpose.

I drove to Alabama today. I meant to drive over 2 days ago, but kept getting caught up with this and that. I believe looking back now I was looking for things to delay my trip because I knew when I got here things would become real for me. It has been real for my family here in Lower Alabama or LA for the locals. We lost Momma last week. She was everyone’s Momma. The first time little brother introduced her to me he called her Momma and said I should as well. That was that. She embraced the stereotype and simply was everything people say about Southern hospitality. There are never guests in Mommas house. Once you cross that threshold you are family. Grab a plate, load it up, and find a safe place to sit down.

Chances are you will be run over by a dog or kid at some point while eating. Some people have beautiful houses filled with expensive neat stuff. It can be impressive, but not for me. I want to be in a home. A dwelling that is filled with love, amazing smells of pound cake baking, and hopefully a muddy dog chasing a 7 year kid down the hall. I feel sorry for people that don’t get to know what that type of love is like. It simply didn’t matter who you are outside of these walls because while you are inside of them you always had food to eat, a family right here, with a large helping of love for dessert. Okay that is not true because dessert is a ginormous bowl of ice cream that Dakota has to scoop or it doesn’t taste as good.

I stayed here in Alabama with little brother and his family for a long while after I left Cali. I decided I was going to lose some weight and started eating salads for meals. Not an easy thing to do with Momma making fried chicken, fried pork chops, potato salad (MAN I LOVE THIS), pound cake, and pretty much everything. Collard greens with bacon, jalapeños with bacon, hell I think some mornings we had bacon wrapped bacon dipped in melted butter. I would eat my salad only to have Momma hand me a plate with bacon wrapped bacon on it saying it ain’t right just eating a salad. Who am I to argue??? I can lose weight next week.

I pulled into the driveway tonight about 8:30 PM. I was supposed to leave on Friday, then Saturday, then Sunday morning, but it was almost 1 PM by the time I was leaving Charlotte. In my defense I do have a job and had to handle a few things before being gone this week. Pulling in I noticed the lawn was littered with cars. Sunday dinner. Every week there is a big meal and everyone eats. I smiled and thought this is what Momma left us. She didn’t leave us stuff, money in a mattress (although I’m checking first thing in the AM), or some big inheritance. Nope, she left us each other to lean on, laugh with, and share the pain with in hard times. We don’t have to face anything alone because we have this beautiful family Momma gave us. She was wise many times teaching lessons without pointing out the incredibly obvious.

We won’t need a crafty Meme to remember Momma. It won’t come around once a year to throw up a never forget picture of Momma. Nope. Every get together, impromptu Wednesday night we decide fuck it and have a few more that a couple while building a fire, and the Sunday evenings sharing food, laughs, and love with the people that are important to us. The truth is she never left. Her physical body stopped holding her back and now she can watch over us all. Momma didn’t go to bed without telling everyone she loved them. You didn’t walk out her front door without her saying she loved you. She understood how precious moments are and without shoving it down our throats she simply taught us by doing it. I’ve pondered what to write for a week now. I really didn’t have it until I pulled into the driveway tonight. I was met with 20 voices telling I was late, fat (thanks Shannon), ugly, and most importantly a tiny voice asking where did I want all my precious pictures a certain young lady drew for me. One of them is scary she said so I have to be careful when I look thru them.

It doesn’t seem fair that she is gone. I know it is incredibly hard on my sister in law. I can’t imagine the pain she is in and I never like to think about the day when well you know. We will keep Momma right here with us everyday. Every time someone leaves we say “Love you!” Every time we hand an idiot eating a salad a plate full of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and collard greens with bacon there will be Momma looking down on us proud that she left a legacy of love, respect, and a few extra lbs….. She also is one of one that passed every level of Candy Crush and became a God to the game.

We all love you and miss you Momma. We cherish the wisdom and kindness you showed us.

Always tell those you care about that you love them. Don’t wait for a perfect moment or time. Just do it every time. I can still hear the words.

“Alright, I’m loving you.” Then Momma walked up the stairs. This time Momma had a few extra stairs to climb to be with her maker.

“Goodnight, We all love you too Momma.”

FknBucky

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