Posts Tagged ‘good



30
Jun
24

Same Caramel Different Day

ZERO fat???? I asked. “Yes” was the reply. I had just mixed up my scrambled eggs up with butter, bacon, and love. I didn’t even get one bite when the doctor came in and looked at my kidney drain. Not one bite. The drain was cloudy. Cloudy is bad.

I

If I wanted to go home I had to commit to a zero fat diet for two weeks. Not idea what that entailed, but what the heck, I wanted to sleep in my own bed so I agreed. How hard could it be?? Turns out there is fat in Häagen Dazs. The world hates me is my only conclusion. All the things I love have fat in them.

My sister helped clear out the bad and shopped for the healthy before she picked me up to take me back to the apartment. I’m lucky to have a great group of family and friends. I spent yesterday cleaning and organizing my bedroom. You see the last five plus years have been insanely hard on me due to this darn infection, but I couldn’t see it. My energy went down, my pain went up, and life in general slowly began to downgrade allowing my world to descend into chaos. Fancy way to say my home is a mess.

While organizing and cleaning my bedroom I found something the sister missed. A large piece of caramel I bought a few days ago while at the the mall. You know the candy store by the door with insanely yummy everything.. I loaded up before surgery thinking if things go bad my corpse will be full of chocolate goodness. I lived so I was a man with way too much sugar in his system and a leftover caramel in his bedroom.

My first thought was I’m eating this M Eff’er right now. Then I remembered who I am. FknBucky? Nope. Bucky? Nope. Allen? Nope. I am a man of character and self discipline. I haven’t always won every battle in my life, but I’m not losing this one. I take a bite and it will taste amazing. After 57 hours of ZERO fat I’ve earned a little yummy. Bull$h!t. The goal to reach is two weeks.

I take that bite and all I’ll taste is guilt and failure. I’ve done that before and learned that lesson. Not this time. My character isn’t for sale. I will wait two weeks and that bite will be one of power and satisfaction. That little caramel bite will give me strength for the next battle that will surely come.

We all have it in us. Wait it out.

FknBucky

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This meme just made me laugh.

27
May
24

meet FKNBucky

I am ALIVE!!! This is true.

I am blessed. This is also true.

More truth for you. I have been in the hospital since April 30thish, 2024…… I went down for the big count. Around May 5th I ran out of air. I was no longer able to breathe. I was told for days by hospital staff that I was simply having a panic attacks. I do a lot of things. I curse to much. I call stupid lazy people stupid and lazy to their face. I love my family/friends. I make very inappropriate jokes/comments. I laugh at racist jokes. Mostly after I say them.

What I don’t do is panic. Ever.

I’ve had a bad kidney for over 6 years. I’ve had some other health issues for a lot longer. I’ve been trying to get these problems identified and handled and have tried for a very long time. Why don’t I tell you??? Cause you got your own BS to handle. I mean that in a positive light. I never planned for this to blow up so big and become such a hard thing to deal with. I had no strength, energy, and it sucked. I had no phone calls, emails, and couldn’t take of Annie. Some of the hardest and darkest days off my life. No doubt.

Slight side note, but relevant:

I am comfortable with violence. I think a punch in the mouth is needed sometimes. Given and received depending on what time you started day drinking. Day drinking with a side of violence. I love Wisconsin so much…. And IA, and NY, and AL, GA, NC, SC, KY, NJ, and a former CO resident named Nate from NJ, Dave Dean, and many others . When I fell out/died at the hospital for almost 3 days last week they forgot to move my left arm. Now it is numb and don’t work. Being a quad is HARD. I have so much more respect for those who face that challenge everyday.

It is Slllllloooooooowwwwly coming back. I feel like I should be able to punch the person responsible in their face without jail time. My left arm/hand is dominant although I am ambidextrous, but both arms are equal when attempting to push a wheelchair in a straight line. My logic is I should get to dot Billy’s “move the arm guy” eye so he sees fuzzy out his left eye while I’m stuck rolling in circles….. What if Billy is a girl Bucky??? Duh. I do the right thing and use gender neutral violence obviously throwing the headbutt. I’m not stupid. I am funny however and you love my genuine ass.

Now that I can use a phone again I have a lot of blogs to write. You will enjoy them. I’m sorry many of you had no idea how sick I was. I couldn’t type and it happened fast. PLEASE follow this blog and the podcast. Future info will come thru here and the podcast. I have a large family and SSOOO many amazing friends from all over the world. You are the reason I never stop fighting for my life or my right to say messed up things to make people laugh. This experience will be shared fully and I’m hoping to write blogs daily, but I also have a ton of therapy and life to catch up on.

I love you all. Truly. My family. My friends. My colleague’s who are both. Without you all there is no Allen, no nBucky, no FknBucky, no fight, no stories, and I owe all of you my life. Thank you.

FknBucky

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20
Feb
24

Justice?

I got a text about Noon telling me that Karina was in custody for the murder of Ryan Cooper. I’m a Traer boy at heart and honestly writing that sentence made me cry. I’m not afraid to admit that. There are a massive amount of emotions going on right now, but the hope is with someone being held accountable and with time people may start healing. Reality is these types of wounds never actually heal. Time goes by and people start to move on to other topics, but we’ll never forget or be whole again. A part of us was taken that can’t regrow or be replaced. The hurt will never fully go away even as time goes by and we start to talk about the price of beans, the road construction on D65, or the prick up the road that keeps tearing up the dirt road.

Truth is as much as I prayed that justice would come in this case, I realized today it doesn’t change the pain or make sense of this BS. We were all robbed of an amazing friend, brother, son, father, and the world was better and happier with Ryan a part of it. He will never be forgotten. That is a fact. He is still here with us thru the children he was taken from. I pray everyone remembers they are the ultimate victims in all of this. Please talk with your kids about how crazy this situation is and make sure they understand how their words can help or hurt so choose them very wisely. I can’t imagine dealing with the nightmare they’ve been given at NO FAULT of their own. Life is not fair on levels I didn’t realize were possible.

I’ve had a good number of friends reach out to me and all of them say the same thing. The hurt is like this just happened yesterday. I meant the words I wrote 2.5 years ago the brotherhood one becomes a member of living in a small town. The Busch Light brotherhood I called it. Membership can’t be bought, it can only be earned. It is lifetime membership with annual dues being make sure you have a big cooler of beer ready to go once the work is done.

My thoughts and prayers are with his family. I know they will most likely read this and I hope they understand how much Ryan touched my life, he was loved, and appreciated by many others. I spoke with another friend today who was asked to testify this morning about Ryan. She told me that she said “You can ask anyone in Traer or anyone that knew Ryan, there isn’t a person on Earth that had issues with him. There was no fighting, no running of the mouth, and simply just a great man that could be relied on no matter what it was he agreed to do. I have met thousands of people in my life. NOT one can be compared to Coop.

I don’t know what will happen in court. I do say let the rule of law take its course. This event only proves once again that evil exists in the world. I don’t know why. Heaven or Hell, Good or Bad, God or Satan, BIg Bang Theory and not Big Bang Theory. Whatever you believe doesn’t change the fact that evil is around us everyday. Some people get very good at hiding it. There is no reasoning, no explanations to be had, and simply the hard truth tells us that it is real.

Ryan didn’t deserve this evil done to him and we all know that. His kids should have their father still. It makes me beyond angry to think of how unfair this is. He should be old and gray watching grandkids open Christmas presents. I can see him in his den surrounded by toy tractors on the wall, some deer mounts from successful hunts, and of course a 1:8 scale cattle hauler that cost as much as his first car on display that everyone knows isn’t for playing with. Well not until Grandpa had his special drinks and ends up on the floor playing farm with the young ones.

I am surprised at how fresh these feelings of hurt are. We appreciate the small town for many things. Knowing people your whole life, your kids and their kids go to school together, and eventually your grandkids and their grandkids go to school together. There is a feeling of safety in a small town and it brings comfort to us knowing everyone. The downside is when something really really tragic happens it affects everyone. This is that. This hurts everyone. I believe the police have done their job and done it well. They didn’t cave to people screaming we want justice now, but slowly built up a solid case against Karina. She is innocent until proven guilty, but I will not be donating to her defense fund.

I say this to my Busch Light brothers and sisters. Please don’t let your anger and hatred dim the shining light Ryan brought to us all. His memory should not be tainted by this evil human that abused his love, manipulated his trust, and stole a father from his children. I will choose to remember him flipping me off from the cab of that cattle hauler. Twice he got me. The snapchats he sent telling me he smelled like money when I said he was covered in shit. He deserves that. For all of us to remember him for who he was and not for how he was taken away.

Give hugs to people you love and then tell them “I love you.”

I don’t know what else to say. I just have a lot of emotions and writing is how I deal with things I can’t process yet. I know I’m not alone in that.

FknBucky

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21
Jan
24

Screw your structure

Sunday. My favorite day of the week. It is for many reasons, but the stress free morning on Sunday makes it something to look forward to. Unless you are hungover from a late Saturday night and promised a cute nice girl you would be at 9 AM service for church. That is never me because I don’t date women that go to church. This is by choice. Their choice. Clearly. 

I make one heck of a first impression showing up with FknBucky t-shirts for Mom and Dad, making sure I tell a joke about how her Mom needs an XL to fit over those massive boobs she paid for 7 years ago. This comment always goes over well so make sure you say it loud as you grab a beer from the fridge. Then tell her Dad he needs to buy better beer and a lot more of it cause you like to get your drink on while watching the football game. To help round out this day of first impression be sure to include her 15 year old brother by calling him a pansy for saying no when you asked him to shotgun a beer with you. Almost done now. One last thing to do before you claim victory in awesomeness. Tell her 13 year old sister that “Damn gurl, you’re going to be hot in a couple years once your boobs grow in and you no longer need to wear the padded bra!!” 

First impressions are so much fun. Clearly I’m an expert. The Packers game yesterday was so much fun to watch. That team is going to be a contender for many years so Detroit if you are going to win a championship, do it now. You’ll be dominated by GB for the next 15 years. hahaha. I would be worried about offending some Detroit Lions fans, but everyone knows people from Detroit don’t know how to read. I had a point earlier that I was planning to get to, but maybe I forgot what it was. Actually no maybe about it, I can’t remember what I was thinking about earlier. 

Jessica Alba is just hot. Always makes me smile.. 🙂

Maybe there doesn’t need to be a clear point. Maybe sometimes in life you have to just wing it and take what the world is sending to you. The more you try to control everything the more disappointed you will be in life. It is that simple. I go thru phases. Sometimes I’m just smiling with the “ef it” attitude and other times I have this vision of what everything should look like and I bust my ass trying to force that vision on others and force it to become reality for me. Hmmm I needed to hear that. I’m trying to force things in life right now. I gotta remember my own advice. I don’t try to fake it with you wonderful people that read my words. We are in this together. Having the answers only helps if you use that knowledge. Knowing better and doing better are not the same thing.

Remember this. Life is more enjoyable when it isn’t planned out. Life is hard when you don’t have a plan. To be a person of character means you have to be a person of structure. To be a good human to those you love, you have to be wiling to drop everything at a moments notice to do something dumb and crazy. WTF Bucky?? Exactly. It will never make perfect sense. LIfe is hard. It is painful. It is unfair. The good die too early. Bad people will win sometimes. I’m going to throw a nice bow on this blog for you just because I love you.

As you can see, I searched Bob vs Fun TIme. This is what I got.

Enjoy the moments. If you get 3 hours of laughter with friends/family, CHERISH it. Don’t leave early. Don’t worry about the report due tomorrow at work. Ef that report. Be present in the fun time. It doesn’t happen often so simply enjoy it. Don’t throw shade bringing up old crap to Bob from 8 years ago. Bob is a penis head. Everyone knows that. Don’t let him ruin fun time. Let nothing ruin fun time. Enjoy what you have RIGHT now. There is always a chance it will be gone tomorrow.

FknBucky

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Subcribe to the podcast. I’m telling you now I’m going to make it work. I’ve never in life felt so sure about anything. I will not allow myself to fail. Not because I want money and fame, but simply because I want to become the man it will force me to be to enable me to be successful. That is the true reward. Are your goals leading you towards being a better person?? — Another blog coming soon.

17
Jan
24

The Power of Heated Steering Wheel

What is going on here?? I started this blog before the Iowa Caucus so that is why I’m talking about Vivek. Just because he dropped out doesn’t mean I don’t like him anymore. I’m grateful I took the time to listen to him. As genuine a person you will find. 

I try hard to stay out of politics, but I could not resist talking about Vivek. The man intrigues me and truth be told, I like him. My liking him has nothing to do with him getting elected or what your opinion should be of him. I promise not to harp on this particular subject to often, but I want to take you on a written word drive right now. Buckle up!! You just might learn to use that head of yours for more than a Busch Light entry hole.

It is cold. Thanks for pointing out some obvious crap Bucky, you might say. I had an appointment with my go to Asian masseuse this morning so I had to head out around 8 am. I bought a minivan a few years ago so I could drive the wheelchairs and equipment I sell around. I thought about getting a “cooler” car, but truth is I can not pick up girls in a minivan just as good as I can not pick them up in a Porsche Cayenne. I really want one, someday I’ll be able to afford a poster of one to put above my bed or something. My minivan is cool though it has tinted windows, spilled chips, and my personal favorite smells like whatever Annie rolled in yesterday. 

The minivan has a heated steering wheel. I’d never heard of such a thing to be honest and didn’t even realize it was there when I bought the van. One day it was cold and I used the auto start. When I got into the van and started driving I thought “Ooooo, that’s nice…”. There is a point, just hang on. Last I’ve thought about it. It is normal now. I was looking at new vans last night just because and found one I liked with low miles. Looking at the options on it, I noticed there was no heated steering wheel, and that meant it was a no go. That option is simply too good to give up in my tiny human brain.

Now. Let’s look at something else. Power. It is better than drugs. Making people do things because you have power over them. A boss. A parent. A tough guy. A politician. Hmmm interesting now eh.. A boss can be fired. A parent can only rule 18 years. A tough guy, well there is always someone tougher. A politician only needs to manipulate your tiny brain every few years. You see the power they acquire is like my heated steering wheel. They can’t give it up. Seemingly good people corrupt themselves in the name of “helping you”, helping me, helping the guy that can’t help himself. They remind themselves how important and smart they are. You would be lost without them so that justifies hanging onto that power no matter what it takes.

They say “This is good for you, trust me!” Nope. My BS meter goes off anytime someone says this is good for you. How do you know what is good for me? You aren’t me. You’re not my spouse, best friend, or at the very least someone that knows what color Tommy John I got on today. These boxer briefs are like heaven. Worth every penny even though I shoplift mine. As long as you’re under $1,000 they don’t prosecute. Hey don’t blame me. You keep voting these idiots into power. I had to Bucky, the TV told me the other guy was racist and killed gays on the weekend. Just knowing your level of stupid exists makes me feel better about myself.

Every year the power these folks have becomes more and more addicting. For Big Bangs sake why do we have senators that are 90 some years old?? WHY??? 50 years in public service. I have another beef there. Public service my butt. Why you worth 200 million when you started out broke?? Job only pays $150,000 a year. I don’t blame the politicians. I blame you. I blame me. My parents. Your parents. Our neighbors. We allow it to happen over and over and over….. As long as they have a D or an R by their name they are on my side. Here is the truth. You don’t have a side. 

So money and power. Hmmm thank baby Jesus (Just watched Talladaga nights) that money and power have never corrupted good people in the history of mankind. Clearly the 700 folks that have it would never do anything questionable to keep it. They lie to your face. They manipulate facts to push their agenda. They suppress video evidence. They lose emails. They hide behind this and that. They kill Jeff. There is nothing they won’t do to keep the power, the money, and the opportunity for MORE. 

I just wanted a heated steering wheel. My brain went all crazy blaming my steering wheel wishes on corrupt politicians. Now I will get a cold wheel and get rid of power steering to try and save my soul.

Stop following, trusting, and believing in people because “they” tell you to. 

READ the language of actions.

LISTEN to what they don’t say.

WATCH who benefits from what they do.

FknBucky

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10
Sep
23

No Bad Kids

The world is a crazy place. Different cultures, different people, different color of people, different languages, different trees, different crops, different laws, and on and on. I spent my early years getting picked on daily by the other kids at school. I’ve talked about this before. I hated it. I felt alone all the time. I was around people just like me, but somehow I was not part of the group. No differences, but clearly we were not the same. It sucked.

It was also a major blessing. These experiences made me appreciate friendships on a massive level. Not having something makes a person appreciate it more once they get it. Hence why working for something is better than someone giving it to you, but that is a message for another day. My appreciation for friendships allowed to make thousands of friends over the years. Young, old, white, black, Mexicans, Germans, Asians, gay, straight, and blah blah blah.

Having all these different points of view has been very educational for myself and I’m very thankful for that. The other side is I know a lot of people that pass away. Someday it will be me. We all go sometime so work hard to be a person remembered for the right reasons. I lost a friend this week who should be remembered by the world for things you don’t know about and it is a shame. She was an amazing human and I’m a better person because of the conversations we had. I was young when I met her as one of my friends dated her Granddaughter so when we went over there she would talk with us.

We drank beer and she allowed it because knew we would be safe there and she knew if she didn’t we would have gone out driving around. The lesser of two evils I suppose. She took care of her two granddaughters for reasons that aren’t your business or mine for that matter. I wish I was able to talk and see them as I will always care and love them, but life happens and we all get busy with the paths we have taken. Some great times and memories of those days. Sitting there at times I would find myself talking with Leona about all types of stuff. She didn’t like the drinking, but instead of screaming NO like a crazy person she would ask “Why do you think you need the beer??”

That type of conversation was foreign to me. If my Dad didn’t want me to do something he told me he would kill me if I did it again. Sometimes that worked and sometimes a it made me learn how to hide it better. I would struggle to answer her question because no one ever asked me a question like that before and actually cared about my answer. I had no idea how important those conversations were while I was having them, but later in life I would reflect on them and become very grateful for those lessons.

I assumed I was a “bad” kid because I didn’t follow the rules like other kids my age. It is easy to allow these thoughts into your mind, but extremely hard to get out once you’ve allowed them to set up shop. That goes for all negative thoughts you tell yourself. Leona explained to me that “There are no bad kids.” There are bad parents, bad environments, bad decisions, bad leaders, bad preachers, bad schools, and bad all kinds of stuff. No bad kids though.

To completely write off a child is a crap thing to do. To look at a kid and say you’re not worth fighting for is borderline evil. As humans we can do better. Some kids might say “Eff your kindness, I’m going to go rob someone”, but that doesn’t mean we stop trying for all the rest of them. My opinion of myself changed the night I had this conversation with her and thankfully I never forgot the lesson. Anyone that knows me can tell you that I will do anything to help a kid. That wasn’t natural instinct on my part, it was a piece of wisdom that Leona gave me. Her legacy will live on every time I don’t give up on a kid just because they or someone they know thinks they are “bad”.

It has been over 20 years since I’ve seen her although I did send X-Mas cards a few times. You never know what you can learn from a person if you don’t take the time to get to know them. If you want to be wise and a person of substance you must talk to people outside of your circle. I hope she knows just how much I respected her and that she changed my thought process in life for the better. I could not even begin to count the lives I’ve been able to improve using the philosophy Leona so graciously gave me. It took years for those comments to actually mean something to me, but once I understood what she meant the world around me changed.

It became much less about me and it caused me to understand that I could make a difference in the world one person at a time. It becomes addicting. To help. To see someone succeed when their whole world told them they couldn’t. I’ve already overcame so much in my own life. I know the formula. It isn’t a secret. One simply has to wake up and say “Not today MoFO” and then go out to the world with a smile that can’t be broken. I’m good. Now I concentrate on helping others see that for themselves. I have no number of lives changed except for this. As many as I possibly can. If my whole life goes by and I only help one person it will be worth it. That one person might change the lives of thousands because I helped him/her on their way.

You have no idea how many lives you change for the better. Or for the worse. Maybe Leona only affected my life, but I would say her legacy is a massive one. What will your legacy be??

No Bad Kids. I will always be in your debt Leona.

FknBucky

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30
Aug
23

Apple Cinnamon Roll

What up?? I have so many things to write about causing them to be all mixed together in my head. Maybe that is why I’m crazy. Or maybe it is still the simple fact that I live for chaos. The right kind of chaos of course. I follow politics pretty closely, but decided a few years ago I wouldn’t harp on it in my blog. The main reason is I need a break from all that BS and my overall goal is not to make you think like me. I already have that covered. Your TV won’t tell you that though. You have to agree with this side or you’re a ____. No you have to believe us or you’re a ____. Be yourself. Think for yourself. Most importantly learn for yourself. Don’t just accept what some a-hole on TV tells you. They have an AGENDA!

The thing is their agenda doesn’t matter in the real world. At least it should not. People screaming they will leave the country if this person gets elected or that person are eff’ing idiots and unfortunately never actually leave. All that talk is pointless BS that doesn’t make the world better. Learn to read the language of actions and in doing so you’ll be able to see people for who they really are. Now take inventory on your actions. Actions you are doing that will not make the world better should be stopped.. Sitting down on a road stopping people from going to work is not making the world better. Lucky for you I have an example. Why?? Because I love to make the world better.

Yesterday I made apple cinnamon rolls from scratch. I made homemade caramel to pour over them before and after baking. My first attempt at these ended up on the floor. It was about 11 PM and I was adding flour to the yeast mix and BLAM. I get a powerful spasm in my back and stomach which causes me to throw the bowl. Both of them. One with the eggs, butter, yeast, and the other a large bowl of flour. One big spasm and it was on me. The floor. My counter. It covered my trash can and the rug I have by the door. Now at 11:15 PM, I had a ginormous mess to clean and no cinnamon roll dough. It wasn’t Trumps or Bidens fault. Remember that.

Stupid mess. It took forever to clean. The ingredients mix together better when they are room temp, but I only set out enough to make the dough once. I did not plan ahead in case I had a “Timmy” moment and threw the bowl of almost dough against my wall. I had to clean myself, my wheelchair, the walls, the cupboards, you name it. At this point you may ask why was I baking these stupid cinnamon rolls anyway? Great question. Answer is: I just wanted to do something kind. I planned to take them into the rehab hospital for the PT and OT’s that work there. No special occasion, no birthday, nothing except I wanted to make some people smile while eating 10,000 calories per bite.

When is the last time you did something to give others a smile?? Take cookies in for co-workers?? Mow your neighbors lawn?? Go down and play checkers with the people in the nursing home?? Nope not you. You’re too busy arguing politics online with some moron you’ve never met in person. By the way that is the biggest waste of energy and time ever. When you are on your deathbed will you think “Damn, I wish I spent more time online arguing with people I didn’t know??”

No you won’t. I say stop it. Just stop being a creator of negative. Here is a piece of FknBucky advice or wisdom. Liberal, Conservative, Gay, Straight, Non-binary, Black, White, Trans, Lesbian, Fag, Midget, Disabled, fat, stupid, Man, Woman, Birthing person, or any of the other labels you choose to hide behind. Not me. I am a human. That is it. As for all that other crap. I DON’T EFF’ING CARE. I don’t judge you on those labels so why tell me?? Just shut up and make some awesome cinnamon rolls.

I wake up everyday and decide to have a positive attitude. Doesn’t always work, but I try. I remind myself to at least one act of kindness everyday for no reward. I just want other people to feel special and loved in this crazy world. If more people spent their time doing random acts of kindness the world would change overnight. Go watch a sunset. Just put your phone down and watch natures show. Wake up early and watch the sunrise. Listen to a storm. No facebook, Instagram, and no phone. Put the phone down and have tea party with your daughter. Take your nephews indoor skydiving. Let a little girl hold your service dog while you eat lunch. Pay for a strangers meal without telling them. Give someone a hug (not the creepy kind). Give someone a compliment. Be a friend to someone that needs one.

It isn’t the governments job to make the world better. It is YOURS!

FknBucky

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I don’t share these things to make people say “you’re so nice Bucky”. Truth is I don’t care about all that. I simply want to inspire others to do similar things.

21
Feb
23

Smiles are free

Been a minute my friends. I’ve started a few blogs but decided against publishing. There are times when I try to force something out, but I can see thru it and I imagine those of you that take the time to read my blogs (I truly love and thank all of you) will also notice. I respect you enough to not give you mediocre content. That being said if I made more time to blog, the ideas and inspirations are endless so it falls on me to write more. A couple weeks ago I had a couple kids come visit me here in North Carolina. I was honored that 18 year old young adults would take a 5 day vacation to come spend time with “Uncle Bucky” a role I always take seriously. I love getting to talk smack with them and sprinkle in some wisdom from time to time. My door is always open to just about anyone. If you are a thief don’t bother. I can’t stand people that steal. Ever.

While driving home from Myrtle Beach we got into some deeper conversations and I relayed a story to them. One I have not talked about in a long time, but even thinking of it now I get a bit water eyed. I may have blogged it a few years ago, buy I can’t remember. I was teaching therapists at the local hospital on how to use a specific piece of equipment. A co-worker from the home office in Florida flew up to train with me and we spent the entire day training group after group. We took about an hour for lunch and just went to the cafeteria. The line was long, but moving at a good pace. I like everyone love to people watch so while in line I’m scanning the room. There is a good chance I know someone in the room because I know just about everyone and almost everyone knows Bucky.

Not this time. I did notice a little girl that was about 8 years old eating lunch with her Mom. She was hooked up to multiple machines and was clearly sick with something severe. I hate seeing this, but it is reality. She locked eyes with Murphy and it was game over. I looked at my co-worker and told him “There are more important matters to deal with so just grab me whatever you order” and left my place in line. I took Murphy over to this young lady and asked if she wanted to say hello. If you have never seen “stuck in hospital connected to machine little girl smile while dog petting” you can’t understand how powerful that moment is. It is something you will never forget for the rest of your life. Remember life isn’t about you, it is about what YOU do for others.

Mom said thank you quietly, but I can read lips well enough to hear it. My friend came by with the sandwiches and we found a table about 20 feet away. My new friend still had her eyes locked on Murphy like a Bears quarterback to the Number 1 receiver. Everyone in the stadium knows where the ball is going. My crazy Bucky mind had an idea. I put my sandwich down and rolled back over to my new best friend. I told her I had a problem, and said “I am having a tough time because I can’t hold onto Murphy and eat my food. Would you mind holding her for a while so I can eat lunch?” Remember the smile I just told you about. I got one twice as big and right in front of me I watched this little person fill with happiness and life. She asked very wide eyed “Really??” As I watched her Mom start to cry. It was a very awesome moment in my life. I created it. I could have easily waited in line, ordered a sandwich I actually liked (my co-worker eats crap food), and went along with my life. Instead because I pay attention and cherish opportunities like this a few strangers had a much better day.

Like many other times I had a completely different idea for this blog, but felt like this story should be told. I don’t share so people can say “Bucky you’re so kind blah blah” because I don’t need that. I’ve said it before and will again, I promise you will never know how many things I do for others. My biggest hope to inspire others to do the same. There is a feeling you get when you are kind to strangers just because it is the right thing to do. It is addicting. Imagine a world addicted to that instead of crack, heroin, alcohol, sex, stealing, vaping, and all the other crap behavior we have as humans.

Be present and recognize the moment. Understand that giving someone a smile is more beneficial than handing them $20. $20 can be gone very quickly, but a smile and happy memory can last a lifetime. It can be passed on to others countless times creating more and more smiles. People you will never know could be smiling right now because of the smile chain you started. That is real power., we all have it inside of us, and it cost nothing to use.

I promise if you simply take a moment to look around there is someone near you that needs someone to say “I care”, “the world cares”, “you are not alone”, or something like “where you born that ugly or do you have to work at it??”. Crack jokes. Mess with people. One quick note and I’m done today. I took my out of town visitors to the indoor skydiving place here in Charlotte. I was busting balls the whole time cause that is what I do. The guys working there said “you’ve been here before”. It was 3 plus years ago, but yes I had been there before. He says I remember the sense of humor.

Be yourself and be memorable.

Love who you are today because tomorrow is not guaranteed.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

01
Feb
23

Drop Mind Pollution

Here we go. I’ve been tryin to make time to blog all last week, but somehow I kept finding excuses to do something else. It is hard to write when I’m tired. Seems odd, but my mind needs to be sharp and awake. Not the Red Bull kind of awake, but simply analyzing data with speed and ease. I’m sure this is why I have wit and comebacks when talking with others because my brain is working overtime to get the words in, analyzed, and then making my response flow out on time and with the right feeling. Words are only part of the equation. The tone of your voice, the face you make while saying those comebacks, the position your body is in (little harder to do in a wheelchair), the smile must be just right, and finally the eyes. They have to be soft and not threatening when hitting someone hard with words. Calling someone stupid is mean. Calling them stupid with soft eyes and a slight smile is funny. A lot going on in the three seconds someone tries to talk smack with me.

I love it though. The challenge. Everything in my life is a competition and I hate losing. Well, that isn’t true. I hate losing because I failed to bring my best. If I bring it all whether it is a fight, conversation, sales meeting, or anything I want to be victorious. Otherwise why are you there?? If you don’t see yourself standing in the first place spot at the end of the day why are you playing??? Who trains for 2nd place?? Funny answer. Most of you do. You have allowed others opinions to pollute your mind which then makes deals with you. Only try a little bit today. That way when you come up short it won’t be hurtful and no one will make fun of you. To that I want to say this “Fuck you and the mind polluters you hang around!!” I know Mom no swearing, but that point has to cut deep.

My nephew is at some training right now. He finished boot camp and now he is doing some additional training that will get his body in shape to go do the actual thing he is planning to do in the military. I’m being vague because it is none of your business what he is doing exactly, but this story requires you to know he is doing it. When he does it that means he is doing something that we are proud of cause he does that thing we know he is doing. Sorry I had Kamala help me with this paragraph. She won’t make it at FknBucky so back to something she won’t need intelligence for. Lighten up Francis.

I was talking to the nephew the other day and he was describing the training he was doing. A lot of everything with no sleep is what it boiled down to. He told me a whole bunch of kids have already quit. They started with 160 and by last count they only had 104. 56 people quit before the end of week 3. I don’t get it. Why did they even go?? I guarantee everyone of them in the back of their head heard the voice before day 1 saying “you won’t make it.:” I killed that voice a long time ago. He has unlimited lives like playing video games with my 8 year old niece. She makes sure I have 99 lives while playing the Simpsons with her. If I go below 90 lives it is an emergency that she fixes very quickly. Where was I?? Oh yeah. Quitter voice. It gets easier to kill him the more you do it. Pretty soon you can just Plan B that prick.

I’m proud of the nephew and hearing the intense crap they were putting him through made me have a deep respect for what he is going to accomplish. He asked what I have been doing and I replied truthfully without thinking “I made a cherry pie.” It isn’t often I wish for words back. I’m such a pansy these days…. He says “I just did a 7 mile hike with a 50 lb pack on.”

I respond with “ Lame, I made a pie. From scratch.” Can’t eat a hike with ice cream. Here is the deal. He rocked that hike. There is no chance he will quit. Zero. I tell him every time we talk “you don’t have to be first, but you better out work every other person there.” Never stop trying. I can’t hike. I can make a pie and it will be the best darn pie in Charlotte.

We all have dreams. Chase them. Go for it. Stop worrying about failure. It only exists if you allow it. I try and if it doesn’t work, I analyze why, and then try again. I gain knowledge every time so it isn’t a failure, but another step up closer to my goal. If you are going to California from Ohio and one day you make it 800 miles, but the next you only make it 50. Is that a failure or are you closer to your goal. Fix the way your mind uses information and kick to moron out that is crying you only made it 50 miles. They will sit down and wait for some other idiot to pick them up. Unfortunately the world is full of idiots. It is easy to be one. You don’t have to be one though. You read FknBucky that is like making it 2,000 miles a day.

Funny I had a blog in my head about mentors and heroes, but my heart decided to write a different message. I want to write forever. I want millions to find inspiration and hope in my message. I’m not there yet, but in my mind I have been there since I wrote the first sentence on the first blog. Somedays I make great progress and others I make very little, but the fight continues. Quitting will never be an option. If it was that means I never actually started.

Whatever you want start now. Right now. Sign up for the online class. Research starting your own business. Go volunteer. Mend a broken friendship. Most importantly stop listening to people and voices that say “you can’t.” They are wrong. They are scared to try. They are nothing to you. Just start and you will see how quickly all those negative influences become a sentence in a paragraph somewhere that eventually gets edited out.

Love who you are today. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

14
Jan
23

We Are Not that Busy

Playoff football. Was supposed to be the Packers playing this evening in a fairytale, but real life is anything but. Happy endings are for Asian massages and Hollywood movies. Part of being an adult is learning that lesson over and over again until you accept that most times things just don’t go your way. I have learned this lesson the hard way, but lucky for me I’m a forever optimist. That doesn’t mean I have I have naive smile on my face 24/7, but it does mean I’m willing to give life another shot to be awesome every single day. It also means manifesting your own awesomeness to combat the forces around you trying to take your happy ending.

I travel a lot covering the Carolinas for my business. I enjoy it and when I’m on the road there is no quit at 5 PM. I mean I could, but that seems silly to me. Most people are gone during the day and get home around 5 PM so I usually make appointments with them in the late evening to do deliveries or evaluations. I am blessed to represent some amazing companies that make high end products making peoples lives easier and more fulfilling. I use some of these products, I love them, and I have the ability to talk with someone for 5 minutes while looking at their environment to tell them exactly what would help them the best. I know because I’ve done it all.

This last week was no different. I did an eval with a wonderful lady for the VA and then dropped a shower chair off with a Veteran and his spouse/caregiver at their home. The wife came out and helped me get the chair out of the back of my van and then we took it inside for some training. Of course Annabel made her presence known, but had to wait in the car for this delivery. The family had three little yappi dogs inside that make a lot of noise. I do the training and with the clock hitting about 7 pm I was ready to get to my hotel room for the night. The spouse follows me outside as it is clear she is lonely and it is nice to have someone to talk with. Her husband of 40 plus years has ALS and it is pretty far along. That disease is horrible. Just horrible.

I’m tired though. Annie got herself out of the van and of course had a frisbee in her mouth. My new friend is throwing the frisbee 5 ft and of course Annabel is happy to get it over and over and over and over…. I’m annoyed. I was thinking this was the 1-2 minute chat that lead to the goodbye, call me if you have questions, and have a nice night talk. The lady apologized for playing with Annie and I said “it’s okay” even though I didn’t mean it. My body language was all leave me alone. I’m watching her throw the frisbee and she had this incredible genuine smile. I stared at it and my life instantly changed. Thank goodness because I was on the wrong path. That smile fixed me even though I didn’t know I was broken. Truth is like many of you, I was very broken.

This lady, fellow human, and complete stranger needed me and Annie that night. Annabel was up to the task, but my dumb butt missed all the signs. The smile snapped me out of it. I thought to myself, “ What is your problem?? Let her play with Annie and have a moment.” My body language instantly changed. I was Bucky again. My smile became genuine as I gave her tips on how to throw it farther and to throw it away from Annie so she has to chase it down. She went from saying “I’m sorry” to “this is the best day I’ve had in a long time.” Think about that. My crabby butt almost stole this great moment from a very kind woman that simply needed a break from the monotonous daily routine she had fallen into. Caring for an ALS patient isn’t easy and I can only imagine how hard it is when that patient is your husband/loved one. At her age trying to lift a man out of bed, into his chair, onto toilets, shower chairs, and everything else takes a toll.

I watched her start laughing and having real fun. Annabel played her role perfectly like usual. I got on board, grabbed a water bottle, and put out a water bowl knowing this is where I am supposed to be for now. Out of everything that happened this last week, I’m most proud of this moment, the one I didn’t want. You don’t have to wear a cape to be a hero to someone. You can change the world in a few minutes by simply being more selfless with your time. You aren’t that busy. You aren’t that important unless you are a brain surgeon and your patient is about to die. If that is the case you should probably get going.

I share these moments to remind myself and hopefully get you to think differently when you’re out there in the world. Small moments can create big happiness. What more can you ask for?? Allowing a lonely person to play frisbee with Annie took no real effort on my part, but it did have an large impact on this woman’s life. That is a win.

Love Who You Are Today, Tomorrow Is Not Guaranteed.

I love you all and appreciate everyone that reads this. Your text messages, comments, and the rest mean so much to me. I put all of who I am in these blogs so it is nice to hear when people appreciate the messages, enjoy reading them, and then let me know. The best way to support is share the blogs, subscribe to have them emailed to you directly, and most importantly think about how you can make one moment a day better. Just one. Then watch your world begin to change.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE




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