Posts Tagged ‘Hard

23
May
25

You are blessed

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What are you thankful for today?? Simple question, but do you ever stop and ask yourself?? I spend my days helping people in difficult situations. The things these individuals have to endure make my challenges look like a speed bump in a brand new parking lot. It truly helps me put things into perspective and I feel like it is almost my duty to share some of these experiences with all of you. I promise if you read the next three paragraphs you will be so eff’ing thankful for your life just how it is right now.

I was recently asked to deliver a table by a company in FL. It isn’t what I do, I was annoyed by it, but could tell the gentlemen asking me was becoming desperate to find someone to handle this small task. I know how that goes. Anyone know people that do Sheetrock? Okay back on topic. This delivery is such a small thing to me, but I have to remind myself that it is massive to the customer that needs this piece of specialized equipment. I gave them my usual fee of $10,000 per hour and they countered with $50 total. I accepted. I can get shrimp flavored ramen this week baby!!

Turns out it isn’t just a delivery. I had to go out to measure the world, pick the right product, fill out all the paperwork, submit it, receive the specialty table, assemble it, and then drive back out there to deliver it. Goodbye shrimp flavor……. I found out the customer has a pressure sore so I changed my schedule to go out immediately. They also asked if I could make sure his air mattress was functioning correctly. Again not what I do, but I certainly can and pressure sores are no joke so if I can help anyone avoid that horrid highway, I throw my cape on and drive fast.

Regardless, I was less than enthusiastic to do all this, but it needed to be done and I was the guy asked to do it. I reminded myself of that and put my best smile on. It truly is my favorite outfit. I knocked on the apartment door, a gorgeous young lady opened the door saying something, but I couldn’t hear a dang thing as 4 yappy dogs were going berserk-O! My sister used to talk about getting a dog like that when she gets older and then name it Dammit so she can scream at it.

“Shut up Dammit”

”Get over here Dammit”

Haha. Let me know what commands you would yell at Dammit in the comments.

I was led inside of a very small, but clean apartment. The neighborhood wasn’t the best in Charlotte, but it was clear a lot of hard working people lived here and I can respect that. I saw a large wedding photo on the wall surrounded by lots of smaller ones showing a loving family. I enjoy being welcomed into peoples homes and seeing their lives. The smile is genuine. I was led down a hallway, into the back bedroom, and as the door opened I saw him. All of the air left my lungs while a slight feeling of shame came over me for not wanting to do this task. I realized then I would have done it for free if someone had explained to me what was actually going on.

The man laying on the air mattress was the same one standing tall in that wedding photo. That photo. Still burned into my mind. The beautiful bride smiling in such bright truly happy way. The type of smile that screams “This is the best day of my life”. I didn’t have to ask what the worst day was. This young man was a quadriplegic. He is unable to move his arms and legs, unable to lift his head, and still has the trach in for when breathing becomes too difficult on his own. I believe he was hit by a drunk driver while working. I don’t know the exact story and I never ask because it isn’t my business. Sometimes people share, but I never ask for details simply because I don’t like anyone to relive the worst moment on Earth for me. Think about that before your morbid curiosity kicks in next time.

I thought about my complaining the last week about having to pay $180 to a stupid parking company. I needed this reminder of what true hardship is and immediately told myself that the Bucky pity party was officially over. My life isn’t the easiest, but I have so many blessings. So do you. If you’re not laying on your back staring at a ceiling unable to move then you’re blessed. I’m a writer. I don’t get paid to do it, yet, but I truly believe one day I will. I feel like today my job is to make you aware of just how awesome you are and amazing your life is right now. Your job is to remember that.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIFE FREE

10
Feb
25

CHAMPION

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Well that game sucked. Said NO Philly fans. I really thought it would come down to the last drive of the game, but that Super Bowl was over at halftime. The Eagles had Patrick Mahomes’s number and kept dialing it like a teenage girl on her first babysitting job in the 90’s. Teenage girls spend a lot of time on the phone and in the 90’s there were no cell phones so while babysitting a young lady could use the phone all she wants. I forget some people don’t remember the olden times. Over and over that Eagle defense pounded Mahomes like he was paying for it in the Big Easy.

Like a professional though they took the L, gave glory to God, and moved on. It is already time to start thinking about next season. You can lose the game, but still be a champion. How Bucky?? The same way the Eagles did two years ago. Mahomes is no loser, Hurts is no loser, and all of those athletes should be insanely proud of the work they put in all season. Chiefs fans have nothing to complain about today. That was a magical season and winning 12 games by one score AND having 12 comeback wins in the 4th quarter is amazing! What an exciting season to watch.

If Jalen Hurts had let the loss of the Super Bowl ruin him two years ago he would never have made it back to become MVP last night. Just 24 months ago he woke up listening to all the people talking after losing the big game to the Chiefs about how he wasn’t the one, he wasn’t good enough to win the big one, and how he was this and he was that. He lost that game, but was a champion inside. YOU just didn’t know it yet, he never had any doubts.

We live in an age with tons of information at our fingertips. I can google the recipe for Pad Thai, the shoe size Shaq wears, and buy a new bedroom set all from my phone in less time than it took to write this sentence. People’s opinions are readily available for every sucker begging to hear it. I’m going to tell you something important. The only opinion that matters is yours. How do you see yourself?? What do you believe yourself to be?? A winner, a loser, a nothing…..

I’m a winner. I lose a lot, but I will never quit. When my time is done on Earth no one will say Bucky is a quitter that gave up when things got difficult. Nope. All I want to do is earn the respect of my peers by working hard, staying strong, giving my all everyday, and becoming a better man each day. I want to encourage those around me to be better by example. That is an important one. Telling other humans to be better is different than showing the benefits of bettering yourself to those you love and care about. Leading by example if you will. Another one of those old sayings that will never become outdated.

Be a champion in your mind so you can become a champion in everyone else’s.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

Please like, share, and make comments if you believe in FknBucky as much as I do. ALL of the feedback is greatly appreciated. Oh and SUBSCRIBE!! That one is huge.

07
Feb
25

EASY COME EASY GO

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

FRIDAY!! Well for most of us anyway. When I used to snowboard all the time Monday was my Friday, but who cares about that. I recently wrote about gambling and it seems I’m not the only one in this country that has that app on my phone. I have seen so many YouTube videos of steamers and others yelling about how awesome it is to bet it all Plinko balls, slots, blackjack, or put everything you own on black. Let me be very clear about something. That is not awesome and it is absolutely incredibly stupid.

You want to gamble then do it, but…. Learn to gamble on yourself. Make yourself better, read the books, talk to successful people (not only about money), give back by volunteering and helping others, and just concentrate on being a better person. Then your life will double in value. Just like when the roulette wheel stops on Black.

There are lots of sayings that are from forever ago and nobody remembers where they came from. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater is one. WTF does that even mean?? Did someone accidentally throw a baby away one day?? I can think of a few adults I wish would have been…. Just kidding. It is WAY more than a few. Here is one that is way more applicable to today’s message.

Easy come Easy go. Pretty simple. I saw a video of someone that gambled 10K on a roulette table. They won in the video. Good for them. I thought about how hard I work to earn that amount of money and the thought of putting it at such stupid risk made my hands sweat. Now if one of you handed me $10,000 and said “do whatever you want”, I’d have no problem throwing that down on black. I’d scream “LET IT RIDE” if I won because there is no attachment to that money.

Here is the point. When you work for something you take care of it so when in doubt work on yourself. The more you do that the more value you will place on yourself. The more you cherish yourself the more others will begin to cherish you. Things worth having are not easily attained and take hard work. Why not make yourself one of those things?? Get smarter, get stronger, get in shape, be kind to others, volunteer, and if you find a baby laying outside in some bathwater please remember. Someone threw it out for a reason.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

23
Jul
24

I wish I was your lover

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

DAMN! I wish I was your lover…..

What a song. Brought back some great memories the other day from a time that seems like yesterday, but I realize it was almost 30 years ago. Some of the girls I went to school with would say “Damn” and then I would sing (very very poorly) the “wish I was your lover” part. It became a thing and truth be told I’m not sure how it started. I think it was because I had a huge crush on one of them, but some secrets are meant to be kept…..

Grandpa was right. Go read a few blogs back if you don’t know the reference. I’m happy for those moments, those times when a song comes on the radio and I’m immediately transported back to a particular night or memory that makes me smile. I’m lucky enough to still have a memory after my 20’s so I count that in the blessing column for sure. We all have bad moments in life and that is perfectly natural so embrace them. Understand that they will pass. This year has been a freaking crazy one for me, but seeing a post on FB about a song melted all the hardship away in a moment. I smiled and life was good again.

A song on the radio. A car driving by. A shirt you see. An old picture in a box you find. A city. I have all of these things and more that remind me of amazing moments I’ve had in life. It isn’t luck they happened, these moments were made possible by showing up to the party, saying yes to that voice in my head, and simply putting myself out there. It is important to encourage the kids around you (your own kids, nieces and nephews, step kids, random D-Bag kid that keeps walking on your yard) to take the chances needed to make these special memories. We all see what happens when kids are isolated.

Sanitarium by Metallica and Damn, I wish I was your lover (kinda forgot about that one….). Chevy Lumina (couple of them). Obviously seeing anyone in a FknBucky shirt!! I have hundreds of pictures in boxes. ROME. These are just some of the special memories that I keep in my head to make me smile when I need it the most. When you have a tough time happening take a minute to go back to one of your special moments and simply smile. I promise whatever hardship won’t seem so hard when you look back at it.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

26
Apr
24

My Friend named Grandma

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

NEW PODCAST on YouTube and on your favorite podcast app. Simply search FKNBUCKY. Please like, share, and comment. Together we can do something great and change lives with positivity!!!

Just boarded another airplane for another flight home.  I’ve done this dozens actually hundreds of times before, but today is different.  I’m flying home to say goodbye to one of my dearest friends.  I’m so thankful for the time I was able to spend with her and will remember all the wonderful conversations we had over the last 20 years.  For those of you that know me personally you know I have friends all over the world and I’ve been blessed to have so many of them.  This friend was all alone in her category simply because of her name.  Grandma.

I have always been close to my Dads father.  I was named after him and that was a small club to be in.  I probably don’t deserve his name as he was one of the greatest men I’ve ever known.  When he was 80 yrs old I watched him carry a large metal tub filled with corn down to the hog barn to feed the chickens.  Ha.  Just kidding.  There are pigs in the hog barn you fools!! When I would visit my Grandparents, Grandpa and I would sit at the table having tea and thoseamazing chocolate chip cookies only Grandma could make, while G-ma waited on us.  Naturally most of the conversation was between us men.  It was just the way it was.  I mean we all know the golden rule.  Women have to be quiet while the men are talking.

My Grandpa passed away 17 years ago and while back visiting Grandma she mentioned she is awake until 2-3 am most nights.  I started volunteering at the children’s hospital in San Diego around this time.  Every Tuesday night I would open and run a playroom for the kids to get out of their rooms and have some fun.   My drive home was 30-40m min and almost always after 9 PM.  I like to talk to people when I’m driving, but 9 PM is a little late to call friends to just say “hey”. One night I thought Grandma is awake, I’ll call her.  I called, she was up, and we had a great talk.  As time went on, week after week, I would continue to call G-ma on my drive home. She looked forward to it and so did I.  Something happened during those calls.  My Grandma became my friend.

She told me so many stories. How she first knew my Grandfather was the man she would marry.  He was at her place to help do some sort of work and as he left the house with the others, my grandma handed him a pair of gloves and their hands touched.  Not a quick touch, but long enough to gaze into each others eyes and decide I’m going to marry this person.  Simpler times.  A hand lingering just long enough to relay the message, but not too long to be creepy. 

She told me about her wedding day.  They were going to “honeymoon” in Waterloo planning to eat a fine dinner and then going to see a movie.  For reasons not discussed the young married couple were running late and had to smash a couple burgers quickly so they could still make the movie on time.  The best part was the happiness in her voice as she relived these memories with me.  I felt and still feel honored she shared these stories with me.  I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to know her so well. 

Grandma had so many pictures and was a rock within the family.  Doing all she could to keep the family together having family reunions and always encouraging everyone to let go of the anger, be open to kindness, and forgive when necessary.  It seems fitting that our whole family will be brought together one more time by Anna Pearl.  I can envision her and Grandpa (together again!) looking down at us all with smiles knowing they did their best for their family and I’m not alone when I say THANK YOU to both of them. 

Just part of Grandmas super army. Love you forever Grandma.

I will say this.  MAKE the time to talk with people you love.  None of us are that busy we can’t put forth the effort.  Well so and so never calls me, why should I reach out to them???  Why shouldn’t you??  Whatever happened let it go.  It isn’t worth dragging that anger anchor around with you.  Don’t you want to be free of this pissed off attitude that sucks up all your energy so you can stay mad???

I loved my Grandmother without question.  She was a remarkable woman.  All that came natural.  I’m happiest though knowing I took the time to make my amazing G-ma my best friend while I had the opportunity.  She taught me so many lessons that I will use the rest of my life.  Many times people will say I didn’t know what I had until it was gone.  I have learned very hard lessons that way, but this one time I got ahead of the game.  I made sure to appreciate my friend everyday. 

The world lost a bright shining light of a human, but heaven gained an angel that will forever be looking down at our families. 

That is what I wrote on the flight out.  I’m currently on the flight back to Charlotte. At the visitation I went by, but purposely didn’t look into the casket directly.  I used a bit of side eye, then closed my eyes, and said a private prayer between Anna Pearl and myself.  I didn’t want the vision of her in my head overwhelming all the happy mental pics I’ve taken of her during my life. 

My family is far from perfect.  My Grandma wasn’t perfect.  I am so far from Perphekt that I have to spell it wrong.  I might name one of my kids that actually….  Truth is like all families there is some drama and blah blah.  I don’t involve myself in that.  Some people need conflict and thrive on it.  I’m not one of those.  I prefer if something has your panties all wadded up, say something, get it off your chest, and then move on. 

The celebration of life was awesome.  Many of my family members made the trip home and we got to visit, laugh, and enjoy the moment.  Anna Pearl got us all together one last time.

We are all going to miss her, but I’ve promised myself to replay the great times in my head and share the advice, family history, and the wisdom my dear friend Grandma passed to me.

I love you Grandma and Grandpa.  So happy you are together again.  I promise to do my best to encourage everyone to drop the anchors and be happy again.  At this stage of the game no body is changing.  Just accept your family members for who they are and simply love them unconditionally.

Thank you,

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

PLEASE comment, like, and share. So important to get great information out to people that might need it. I write in hopes to change peoples lives. If I can help one person with these words my life will be considered a success by me.

NEW PODCAST on YouTube and Spotify!!! Simply search FKNBUCKY.

05
Dec
22

I want my gift now!!

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Content. Gotta keep up the content. I heard a quote yesterday that really hit me from multiple angles and if I can keep my “shiny” in check I will talk about this quote. Quick note though as I was watching Thursday Night Football and listened to the MassHole crowd booing the home team. Seriously??? You have been on a winning streak never before seen in Pro Football, but you boo the team responsible for many a great night the second something doesn’t go your way. Losing makes winning taste so much better. The feeling of accomplishment that comes after trying and failing over and over and over is very special. You can only earn it. Can’t buy it, steal it, or beg for it. You simply have to put yourself out there every day with a huge middle finger to anyone that says “You can’t do that!”

We set ourselves up for losing before the game even starts. It is crazy to me how often I hear people complain about something they haven’t even started. How do you know it sucks if you haven’t done it??? Okay, I’m pretty sure prison sex is not fun for the new guy so that would be an exception to the knowing it sucks without trying category. The mindset before the fight is as important as the battle itself. I’m not smart enough, I don’t have lots of money, I’m out of shape, I’m disabled (I eff’ing hate that word FYI) I’m a girl, I’m gay, or any of the excuses you allow yourself to have. YOU give these BS excuses to yourself which is stupid and unnecessary, but it is cool because that means you can drop that crap off right now. None of those will aid you in reaching your goals/dreams so why in the heck do you drag them along your life path.

Now that you’ve unloaded all the needless baggage you find yourself in neutral. Just walking along the line in middle land. Middle land also sucks. It is boring and you’re better than that. You need to get your mind into the Nothing can stop me, if you’re not smart – read books and get smart, if you are ugly, hang out with uglier people so you become the hot one, you have no money – learn to save money and stop spending half your paycheck on beer and weed. Here comes biggie so read slow and pay attention. Take that stupid dumb-butt chip off your shoulder. Stop crying about race, sexuality, gender, and all the other crap that simply holds you down. You want to carry that excuse with you fine, but I’m not waiting for you. Those things can only hurt you if you allow it.

The quote I heard is this “Pain is a Gift” which blew my mind. Pain sucks. I don’t want pain. A gift from Satan maybe. What kind of moron thinks pain is a gift?? This moron. I thought about writing these points in crayon so you could understand it better. How awesome would it be going into battle with a smile on your face thinking I’m ready for you. I’ve been overcoming crap my whole life and you “Mr Problem” can’t do a darn thing because I’m prepared. What comes from hardships?? What do we really end up with when it is over?? I’ll tell you. Wisdom. Strength. Self Confidence. Experience. Yeah those things are pretty cool.

Here you are. The only warrior in your own personal army. There is no back up. Can’t radio for an air strike. Faster you realize it is on you to handle it, the sooner you overcome it and move on. Imagine running towards the hardship. I accept I can’t go around you so now I’m going to fight. Don’t wait. Pick up a stick and sprint towards it with an enormous smile because you know when this is over you’ll be a better, stronger, more valuable human. I’ll take two of those if you can buy this at CVS. Never happen, you like everyone before you and like everyone after you has to earn those things.

Pain is a gift. An opportunity to test your skills and strengths. I know in reality these are just words and facing pain in the real world sucks. A failed relationship, fired from a job, losing a hand, becoming paralyzed, losing a loved one, or any other situation that is sure to cause hardships. When you start with a deep breath and say “I can do this” you start out ahead instead of telling yourself “Oh man, this sucks, it will be so hard, no one will help me, I can’t cope with this, I’ll just ignore it for a few weeks, or any other excuse you let yourself use.

The world needs warriors. I am one. I’m not perfect. FAR FAR from it, but I fear no challenge or hardship. I have practiced my whole life for game day. I’ve accepted the wisdom one gets from failing. I own my mistakes. You can’t learn a valuable lesson if you refuse to admit you screwed up.

As Always: Love Who You Are Today, Tomorrow is not Guaranteed!!

Please share my message if you enjoy it. Rate it 5 stars and please makes comments below. All that helps drive traffic to my blog and allows many more people to benefit from my rants…. I appreciate you all very much.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

25
Jul
22

Squeeze those you Love

By Bucktown 4 Comments
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Been too long since I’ve posted a blog. I’ve got about 10 typed up, but get sidetracked and don’t finish them. I am kind of busy, but not as busy as I like to think. Regardless of what I do, I always feel like it isn’t enough. I can give more, volunteer more, work more, mentor more, and just about everything more. It is a good/bad thing. I don’t feel satisfied or fulfilled very often, but I’m also driven to push on and keep chasing my goals/dreams. Sometimes life has a way of hitting the “reset” button and reminding us that the only important thing is spending time with people you care about.

I moved to Charlotte 7 years ago. I knew no one in this city. Verno (great friend from high school) was 1 hr away, but in the city I was alone. The guy I replaced (job) took me around for training my first week. I was living in a hotel because I hadn’t found an apartment yet. This guy and I went for beers one night when his brother (Eddie) joined us. We clicked right away and I was no longer without a friend in Charlotte. That same week they had a birthday party (the group photo is from that day) and invited me so I ended up meeting a great group of guys that like to have some beers and laugh just like me.

Eddie and Ed

Getting to know these guys I call my Married Friends (cause they are all single) was awesome. We went on a tubing trip up in the mountains drinking a lot and floating down a river. I got to know Eddie’s best friend Ed. You read that right. Ed had the same sense of humor as me and we had plenty of bad jokes to go around. I was invited to come up for poker night and went. Nobody’s home was accessible and we had stairs to navigate on the way inside. No problem early in the night. After poker was a different story. My friend Ed insisted on being the guy to help me down the stairs. A few moments later Ed and I were spooning each other in the mud with my chair rolling down a hill somewhere. Ed was a bad wheelchair helper after drinking.

Fast forward to another poker night in a different house. We ate wings, drank beers and played cards. When it was time to leave Ed wanted redemption. You know me. Lets party. There were two stairs, not seven, this time so I thought lets do this. A few moments later Ed and I were cuddling on the garage floor. Maybe he liked spooning me and this was all on purpose…. I fell slow and wasn’t hurt so it was just funny. My man Ed didn’t want the others to see cause they would bust his balls for another 5 months just like last time. He was determined to get me back in my chair on his own.

I’m fat now. I weigh more than I look like. Ed grabbed me around the waist/belly and LIFTED with all he had. He also squeezed me so hard I shit myself. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that part of the story. Ed thought I farted and the look on his face was the same as if someone punched him in the nose. He got a good deep whiff of the Busch Light poop that he had just squeezed out of me. I thought well that is one way to make sure he doesn’t volunteer for chair duty again…

We lost Ed. He passed away a week ago. I’d given any amount of money to have him dump me onto the floor again. I just found out today. It isn’t fair. He worked hard. Took care of his wife. Was a great father to his young kids. At the beach on vacation he fell and passed away in front of his family. The thought of it breaks my heart. When you travel and meet people like I do, it becomes easy to identify good people that are fun to be around. It made no difference how long it was since we last hung out, the moment we started talking and giving each other crap all that went away.

Ed is the only man on Earth to literally squeeze the shit out of me. I’m sure he will be remembered as a great father, great husband, great son, and great friend, but for me he will be remembered for the poop squeeze. I am sure he would want it that way. This news was my reset button. Tomorrow is not guaranteed no matter who you are, how much stuff you have, how much money you have, or any other measurement you want to bring up. Treat the people you come in contact with like it could be the last time. Be remembered for laughing, helping, loving, caring, being genuine, or my new personal favorite be remembered for squeezing the shit out of a cripple. Something tells me Ed is a on short list with that one.

This photo was taken 5 minutes before he passed. Your time here in this life is not guaranteed.

There is a GoFundMe page, link below, for his widow and kids. Please give what you can. Everyone I know can give something unless you decide to ignore others that need help. To me that is a character thing. Do what is right. My hope is to remind the people lucky enough to know Ed of how fun and funny he was. The world was better with him in it, and I truly know it is a little less bright without him. That said the memories live on forever. He is in our hearts, he is in our stories, and because of this Ed will never be forgotten.

I have an opinion on losing great people too soon or just in general. To miss someone means you had to spend time with them, get to know them, and appreciate them. To grieve for a loved one means you had the pleasure of knowing them well. The harder we grieve simply means we loved them a lot and we are blessed to have so many great memories with that loved one. Without love there is no grieving. Be proud you recognized the greatness in Ed and he felt the love from you everyday. Your love and time are the greatest gift you can give to another human. That is right. Read it again. The best gift you can give is free. Cost zero dollars.

My love and prayers to his family. There are a lot of people that will miss him dearly. I hope all of them remember Ed with happy funny stories because that is what he was. A happy funny guy.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

https://www.gofundme.com/f/ed-studer-memorial-fundraiser

18
Nov
21

Choose Wisely

By Bucktown 1 Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Justice for Ryan Cooper. We will not stop asking questions until they are answered. I am 2,000 miles away, but I still keep an line of communication with friends in Traer. They are as passionate and pissed off today as they were the day this happened. You can’t hide forever and the truth will come out.

I am what I would consider well traveled. I have barely scratched the surface on how much I want to travel as I would love to never spend a day in the same place. I thrive in this situation. Multiple times in my life I’ve gone on road trips across the USA without a plan. I would drive until dark, find a hotel, and then crash for the night. In the morning I would go to breakfast and ask locals what was cool around there to go see. A kind conversation with a local will always yield some great advice on what to go see. This is what we would do. Spend the day checking out the natural beauty of this world in a town I’ve never heard of and will most likely never return to. Once done we would drive a few hours until dark and repeat the same process. Here is a HUGE sentence so pay attention: ”You are not that busy, life is not that crazy, and whatever you are stressed out about is not impossible.”

For unknown reasons humans tend to build these imaginary walls around them and then complain they can’t get out of the box. You built the walls. You only have to decide to knock them down. Once again I say to you ”It is that simple.” STOP wasting time and days on things that don’t matter. You don’t get it Bucky, my problems are way harder than everyone else’s. To that I say Bullshit!! I can’t pay rent, Bucky. So what is stressing out about it solving?? Nothing. Get a part time job. Cancel cable. Stop stressing and start doing. Okay I’m getting off topic here. Doesn’t make it mean less though. Print this paragraph and staple it to your forehead.

My point today is don’t waste precious time. We don’t know when this amazing journey called life is going to end. I live in an apartment building close to Uptown Charlotte. It is nice enough, rent is fair, and over the last 6 years I’ve had a good number of next door neighbors that I talk to when I see them. My current neighbor is Chris. The day he moved in I was stealing his power. I had a power chair that needed charging in the back of my van. Instead of dragging it out, I used an extension cord, and plugged it in to his patio outlet. In my defense that apartment had been empty over a month so…. I came outside to see my cord unplugged and thrown back over the wall towards my van. My first thought was okay somebody moved in. I knocked on his door and apologized for stealing power. We talked, he explained he didn’t know what to do so he just unplugged it, and then gave me permission to use it anytime I needed.

His name is Chris and he died a couple days ago. He jogged daily and had a beautiful white mutt that he would take with him. Always a kind word and we would chat for a couple moments when we ran into each other in the hallway. Chris was only 26 years old. He was running a marathon which was a hobby of his, and collapsed near the finish line dead. I’m told his mother and step-father were at the finish line of the marathon and witnessed him collapsing. There was absolutely nothing anyone could do. He was just gone in an instant without warning. I can’t think of a more unfair situation. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, how many cool toys you have, or how long your bucket list is because when your ticket is punched, that is the end.

Chris’s death has to be insanely hard on his family, but I hope you, me, and everyone can use this tragedy to remind ourselves to stop waiting for the right time to start living. You have to start today. Right now. No more excuses. Writing is my passion. I love doing it and hope one day I will be good enough to make a living doing it. If you want to help that dream come true please give me 5 stars, sign up to have my blogs emailed to you when I publish one, share it with other people you know, and make comments below.

I didn’t know Chris super well, but I guarantee you that I’ll never forget him. I will use his story to fuel my drive and my relentless pursuit to make my dreams come true. To come full circle and tie in the beginning of this blog with the end I will tell you this. Traveling as I have, talking to people like I do, and just enjoying new people I am bound to know more tragedy. Learning wisdom from other peoples lives is a tool for a more enjoyable life, but you have to be willing to accept the message. Chris died at 26 doing everything right. If his story doesn’t light a fire in you I have no idea what will. You have complete control in your life. Make decisions your 80 year old self will be happy about. No ones turns 80 and thinks ”Man I should have wasted more time stressing over dumb crap.”

I don’t have pictures of Chris so I added one of Annabel. RIP neighbor. A true tragedy.

Learn to enjoy your day instead of constantly bitching about the long line at Walmart, the President, your kids, the neighbor with a loud car, or whatever else gets your panties bunched up. Life is either awesome or sucks. You get to decide. Choose wisely.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

07
Nov
21

Fallen Leaves

By Bucktown 2 Comments
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

As mentioned before I will ask anyone that knows anything to please talk with authorities. Ryan Cooper was one of the kindest humans to be on this planet and his time here was cut short by some horrible person. I have other adjectives, but won’t put them in print. He deserves justice and I truly believe those responsible will be found and punished.

I look at the world objectively I think. I see things and think about them, analyze movements, differences from one time to another. I have a few friends that I’ve made along the way that can read situations and people as if they have a huge blinking sign above them. I’m kind of good at this sort of thing, but the few friends I speak of don’t even know they have this gift. One of them is a friend from high school and none of you would believe me if I told you who it was. I am in awe of it.

It is fall. It is cold. There are leaves everywhere. The ground, the road, sidewalks, my patio, and simply everywhere. I took Annie for a walk this AM and looked at all the leaves on the ramp we take everyday to the neighborhood we walk in. I remembered playing with her last year when she was about 6 months old. She loved the leaves. They crackled and I threw them in the air like bubbles a small child would blow. She would chase them around jumping and playing like those leaves were the coolest thing ever. It was fun, innocent, and a memory I have now. I didn’t think much of it until I watched her run up that ramp for the 900th time today and pay no attention to those leaves. One year ago they were the greatest, now they are nothing.

It happens to all of us. Things that were a must have one day become trivial and needless the next. A certain set of legos, a pair of shoes, a car you just have to have. As we get older we experience less “new” in our lives. We allow it to happen and it starts out very slow. Growing up there are lots of news. New toys, new friends, new experiences, traveling, sex, relationships, clubs, bars, drugs, drinking, and the list can go on, but at some point things become the same. The same friends, the same relationship, the same bar, the same job. You drive the same route to work everyday passing the same yellow civic on their way to work at 7:45 AM.

I think people get bored. The adventure of life is gone. I fall into this trap. Maybe that is why I moved across the country to a state I’ve never been to before at 38 years old. I am addicted to the adventure of life. I want to see everything, talk to everyone, and understand every culture there is. I dream of sailing around the world, putting the anchor down in some place I’ve never heard of, and then making lifelong friends that live there. I can’t think of a better way to live. I would leave today if the opportunity presented itself. If you’re a female (at birth) and this sounds like send me a message and lets do some crazy shit. ha.

Some people thrive in a structured environment. I think I thrive in chaos. I love people and things that are unpredictable. The world isn’t filled with people like me, but with those that follow the rules and do what is normal from what I can tell. Truth is most people have the ”action” gene in them, but it gets drowned out by the sounds of Get a Job, Raise a Family, Pay your Taxes, and all the rest of the noise drilled into our heads as we grow up. I’m not sure what the point of this blog is, but I felt like writing about it. I guess it is just important to remember to throw some leaves in the air once in a while. Be unpredictable. Give someone you hate a $100 bill.

Don’t worship money or possessions as they mean nothing. Nice to have nice things, but you can’t appreciate them if you’ve never been without them. Live however you want as long as it doesn’t hurt others. I’m tired of people telling others what they should and shouldn’t do. Get out of the rut and do things that scare you. I learned how to bake an apple pie from scratch simply because I wanted to see if I could do it. Then I made sure that it is the greatest apple pie ever. I’m just like you and forget to enjoy the leaves of life from time to time, but I write this blog to remind all of us that they only thing holding you back from adventure is you.

I wish you all a wonderful Sunday. The best way to help yourself is to help others.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

18
Oct
21

Leash or no Leash…

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Every blog I write from now until someone is convicted of murdering our brother Ryan Cooper will have this message at the top. Please contact the police if you saw or heard anything. There is a reward now, not that should make a difference, but to some it does. Have no fear of someone trying to keep you quiet as an army of Busch Light brothers are more than willing to protect you from some low life piece of shit murderer. Justice for Coop.

Monday night. Sometimes I watch the game, but no interest tonight. I’m actually just tired. I had a ton of things going on over the weekend so there was no down time. I go back and forth. I’m so busy blah blah, but when I take time to do nothing I feel bored and restless.. I assume many of you are the same way. As I lay in bed throwing that darn pink ball every three minutes I realize after all I’ve been thru in life, I am a ball thrower for my leader. I wish she could talk for a day to tell me exactly what she is thinking. Probably better she can’t. I used to tell people if Murphy could talk I would muzzle her. She knew where the bodies are buried.

Annabel is around 18 months now. She is a great friend and very smart. I enjoy getting to teach her things and see her do more and more. I don’t have kids so I guess this is what I have. I almost never use a leash anymore with her. She doesn’t need it. She knows not to go out into a street until I say okay. She will run ahead of me, but always waits right on the curb. It didn’t happen overnight and took a lot of work and patience. Every single time we would cross a road I make her sit down over time it sinks in that there is a danger and she does it without me telling her. There is a bunch of things like this I can list out, but maybe another day. I have a point I want to get to.

So tonight while playing frisbee with her I was thinking about the no leash thing. I’m sure I’m breaking a couple laws in Charlotte, but I make a point to break a few laws everyday just to make me feel young again. Annie is a different dog when I put the leash on her. It is like she becomes this dumbass dog that just wants to make me insane. Part of me thinks she does this to make me want to take the leash off. I don’t blame her as I’d hate to have one too. Leashes for people. Sounds crazy, but does it?? When Annabel is off the leash she has some skin in the game. She makes a mistake and wham the consequence could be death. I know this game. 20 years ago I made the mistake of getting on a motorcycle. Still paying for that one. Consequences are hard.

When she is free she gets to run fast, sniff what ever she wants, jump around, and be a fun happy dog. It does come at a price as she is now responsible for her own well being. I can watch her and scream if she is about to get on a motorcycle, but at the end of the day she has the power. Now she can give up that chance of death and being hurt by allowing me to control her. I can put her on a leash and she can never get more than 5’ from me. No danger, but no running ahead. No sniffing outside of the 5’ mark. We all have choices to make in life and even small choices can have long lasting consequences.

We tell people that we will take care of them. We will give you low rent housing. We will give you food money. We will teach your children what we want them to learn. You can have all of this, but you have to stay within the 5’ mark. Don’t go over there. There have been so many generations now that only know the leash. They have never smelled the air without the musty stench of the leash 3” away from their nose. They have never had the chance to try something, fail, try again, fail, try again, fail, try again, and fucking NAIL it. That is a feeling EVERYONE on Earth needs to have at least once. It is more addicting than any drug you can shoot up. They have no idea where to start because it is completely foreign to them.

Now before you go freaking out that I am a monster that doesn’t want to help people. First – I do more charity work, donate my time and money than anyone else I know. That is just a simple fact. Feel free to do more than me. I would welcome that with open arms. I don’t do it to be number 1, I do it because it needs to be done. It is that simple. Secondly there is no action in the world that happens without consequence. Ever. There is always something that comes from something else. I’m using small words because I think you are stupid. haha. When you give someone everything you think they need to survive, you take away that desire to be off leash. Not right away, but over time day in and day out, the drive to see what it is like to run ahead kind of disappears in a sad poof of nothing.

When you have kids that grow up watching you be on the leash your whole life, what do they learn?? Stay on the leash and don’t bite the hand. There is no self confidence in that leash. There is no brighter future in that leash. Just a simple existence that is neither dangerous or remarkable. It is just there.

This is how my brain works. I see things like this and then I wonder about them for a while until I move on to a new thing to ponder. Where do you want to be?? Off leash? On the leash and know about the free life, but choose the leash?? Or on that leash without the knowledge or even a taste of what the other side is. Sadly I think we have a massive growth in this category. People so checked out that they don’t even know what they are missing. They fail once, Mommy comes to dry the tears, and together they vow to never try something hard again.

Every single day you wake up you get to make the choice. Leash or no leash.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

« Previous Entries

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 135 other subscribers

RSS Unknown Feed

  • An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.