Posts Tagged ‘Hard



08
May
21

Elephants and Jigsaw Puzzles

2:59 AM. Seems to be a theme the last few months. My back decided to scream out at 2:24 and my only choice was to get up. It’s okay I was meaning to watch the SkinWalker Ranch show on History. That was sarcasm although now I want to know where all that damn water went. Guess you’ll have to watch too now. My brain wanders while I’m doing different things like taking Annie for walks. I don’t need all my brain power to throw the frisbee so it allows me to almost meditate while I throw the disc for her. I think of the “problems” I face daily and search for solutions. I like to do jigsaw puzzles and when I look for a new one I literally type “worlds hardest jigsaw puzzle” into google. The one I have now is awesome. I love to find answers. To look at things from multiple angles and learn from them. It is simply the way my brain works.

This current puzzle of just a bunch of lines drawn randomly (so it seems) looks to be impossible when a person first sees it. Well not to me, but we are about to get into that. I see a challenge. 1,000 pieces. The first thing is to get my first match or fit the first two pieces together. Boom not impossible anymore. I think well even if I only get one match per day I’ll be done in 1,000 days. When someone says that will take forever, well not anymore. 1,000 days is not forever. When I get two fits, then I think okay now it is only 500 days. This leads me to a couple metaphors that are popular. First one is how do you eat an elephant?? One bite at a time.

The other one I like a lot is imagine a giant ship like the one our friend from the last blog was stuck on. Big deal to turn that beast around. If you were to turn the Rudder only 1 degree to the right that massive ship would slowly start to turn. That ginormous ship will turn all the way around as long as you stay on the path. I use this analogy in my life. I don’t have to make a complete about face today. Just shift the rudder 1 degree and then stay with it. You can change your life with very little immediate sacrifice. Maybe tonight you only drink 5 beers instead of 6. Skip that last cigarette before bed. Ask your partner how their day was. Slow down slightly and let the car merge in front of you. You don’t have to become a different person overnight. All that you need is a willingness to try to change, and then follow thru.

I was planning to talk about a completely different angle on this whole puzzle thing, but I think I should split it up into multiple blogs. For today I think it is a perfect time to remind you that it is never to late to make a change. You don’t have to turn the ship around in one day. Just tweak the rudder a bit to the left or right. The change in direction will be slight at first, but soon you and others around you will start to see the shift. There are some people in your life that will be proud of you, some will be confused by you, and unfortunately there will be some people that want you to go back in the original direction. They don’t want you changing because it reminds them that they aren’t doing anything.

I am reminded of a time that a friend of mine after listening to “Jim Rohn – Excelling in the new millennium” decided to quit drinking for a week. A whole 7 days. For someone that drank daily the 7 days was a reasonable goal. It was insane to me how many of his friends could not handle it. They would show up with booze and say “come on” just have a couple with us. Good friends would respect his decision and help him reach a goal. He made it the week, but told me that he wouldn’t do it again. Kind of sad.

Ugh!! Twice now I have finished a blog only to have it not actually save so I have to write again. My frustration level is 1,000 right now. Oh well. Here is the point today. You can change. You can go the complete opposite direction you are currently on. it doesn’t have to be all at one time. Just make that 1 degree turn, put two pieces together, or simply start taking bites of the elephant. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life that I’m not proud of. I am proud that I paid attention and learned the lessons on these mistakes.

Don’t be afraid of the harder path. I could do easy puzzles, but I’ve already done that and so have you. Never underestimate your strength as we all have it inside us, but you have to test it, exercise it, and prove to yourself nothing is impossible. I wanted to start my own business and have. October will be 2 years. I am very proud of that. I wanted to write this blog more often and then make t-shirts. I am proud of that as well. I am in the process of starting a non-profit that will be making a film. More details on that in the future. Life is short, chase your dreams starting today, and never let anyone hold you back.

Remember to be kind. Be the person to give random smiles to strangers. A simple honest compliment can turn someone else’s day around. Most importantly you have to start whatever it is. Find two pieces that fit and boom you are on your way.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

FknBucky shirts are almost done. Here is picture of the black ones. I also have grey, light blue, and maroon shirts available. The spot with my face is actually a soft cloth for cleaning your glasses I had printed and then sewn onto the inside of the shirt. Yeah that was all my idea! 🙂 A formal announcement will be coming soon allowing you to order.

I appreciate all of you very much. Chase your dream!

17
Apr
21

RIP Prince Philip

1921. That is forever ago. I looked up the number one song for that year. It is the most racist thing I’ve seen in a long time. I will not be going that route for the blog today. 1921 is when Prince Philip was born. I think the Royals are stupid, but only the young ones. They’ve become a Kardashian reality show and I give them zero time or thought. Now Prince Philip is a very interesting fellow. He married the princess that would become a Queen of England forever. She will never die. She eats children burgers. Haha. Told you it isn’t going away. Where do you think Pippa learned it from?? If 23 year old Bucky met Pippa I would be writing this blog from Buckingham palace. The place is pretty much named after me so… There was a time. My game was strong. Alright I have a thousand fun stories, but its not that kind of blog.

I love to travel, to experience life and new things, and truly inject myself into something different. I think that is why I have moved so many times. That and the warrants. Can you imagine the stories Prince Philip must have had?? Unlimited money to go anywhere you wanted. That would be cool, but on the other hand he never got to experience real life in those places. Everyone catered to him and treated him like royalty. You don’t understand a place without spending a couple days with the locals. Think of Rose in the movie Titanic. She had this lavish lifestyle, but never really lived until she went below deck and got loaded with the peasants. Good thing she did too or no way is Leo giving up that door.

I used to have a joke when I was about 23. I would cheers everyone at the table and say we are celebrating!! When asked why, I would respond with my future wife was born today. I’ve had to change that up a bit as I get older because it is more creepy than funny when I’m in my 40’s. Now I cheers and say “she got her first job as a gas station clerk” today!! Let’s face it. A 22 year old girl that marries me is most likely not going to be college educated. It is okay I have it all planned out. We get married, I throw a couple kids in her, and then 11 years later I’m worth 600K in life insurance and perish in a mysterious house fire that was started with C4 explosives. Sounds more fun than dying of prostate cancer or some crap. Wow. I completely forgot what the heck I was writing about.

Back on track. They are having a funeral for Prince Phil today and just take a moment to think of all the things he lived thru. WW2, the Beatles, air in shoes, airplanes, cars, going to the moon, and the best of them all, you get to pick what gender you are regardless of the plumbing!! What is not to love there?? He did fight in WW2 and was the recipient of a good number of medals. I’ll let you google him and read up on like I did. You won’t do it though so there is that. Face it you’re still thinking about later tonight when you’re at the bar and can use my joke. Go ahead it is funny. Fat Karen might even let you take a ride tonight. Enjoy that.

100 years is a long time to live. I’m fascinated by people that have been on Earth that long. My Grandmother being one of them. The stories they tell of different times and hardships. We are spoiled as people now. Most people don’t work for anything. You aren’t growing a garden to be able to can vegetables in the fall so you can feed your family over the winter. You aren’t milking cows, feeding chickens, or cutting firewood to simply survive. Nope. You complain if the air conditioner doesn’t work fast enough.

I admire Prince Philip. From everything I read he was a very good person. On his own he was a mans man. He didn’t have to take a back seat for anyone except for the Queen. To me it is admirable that he did do this. He must have really loved her. I think that is pretty cool. My guess is the Queen won’t live much longer mainly because she is 1,000 years old already, but losing her partner after all these years will most likely take a toll on her and truthfully whatever does happen after life on Earth she needs to be with Philip. I mean all of that in a kind way. Really I do.

I was pretty tough on the Royals a few weeks back, but thats because of the new drama Queen BS they have become. I’ve read about the Queen and Prince Philip and respect them both. So Rest In Peace Prince Phil. You’ve earned it.

Be kind to others. The only way to make the world better is for you to make yourself better. Think about it.

FknBucky

28
Feb
21

You Hungry??

I just got an order of groceries dropped off at my door. Pretty amazing. I go onto the website pick the items I want and two hours later there is a knock at the door. When I open the door there is no person just bags of food. I actually don’t mind going to the grocery store, but it is much more convenient to have someone else do it and drop it off. I have been blessed in my life to be able to afford food. Not a day or meal goes by that I don’t say a small message of thank you. It wasn’t always that way I’ve been hungry before with no options to fix it. It is a brutal thing being hungry. I’m not talking about the funny kind you have cause no women are home to make you a sandwich, but the real kind when your insides feel like they are starting to eat each other. The physical torment is bad enough, but the mental aspect of feeling less than, feeling neglected by a world, and simply wondering if it will ever change is unbearable. If I had one wish it would be that no one ever feels that way again.

I have heard many people express feelings about God and say how could a God let so many go hungry?? I have often wondered such a thing, but I heard a preacher say one time. Why are people hungry?? Is there not enough food on the planet to feed them all?? That statement resonated with me. There is more than enough food produced in the world to feed everyone, but yet many go without. Why is that??? How is it so hard for neighbors to get along that one of them might actually go hungry while the other finds new ways to waste the extra they have??? I don’t lay blame on any one person or thing when it comes to this. My opinion is simply there hasn’t been enough people asking the question “Why are there still hungry people??” Some of these people make life choices that put them in the hungry category. Choices have consequences so make good ones.

I will make this promise though. If anyone asked me to buy them groceries I would stop whatever I am doing and go buy them food immediately. No questions asked and no need to thank me or promise to repay. I will not give you cash. If my money is going to be spent on booze and drugs I’m going to do them. Alright back on topic. Going to sleep every night with food in my belly is my reward and every person should know that feeling daily. Kids should never go hungry. There were times in my childhood that I just didn’t know when I was going to eat again. I was never in real danger of dying of hunger, but even going a couple days without food sucks. I could have asked for food, but I was way to proud. Pride is a very tall wall to get over sometimes. No kid should be hungry, but I tell you what the kids that know this feeling grow up grateful. If you have never been real hungry in your life I don’t know how you can understand gratitude.

A friend of mine back in my snowboarding days would talk of his Uncle. At least I think it was his Uncle. We smoked a lot of pot back then and it might have been his neighbors cat he was always bitching about, but whatever we talking about hunger today. His Uncle would welcome people in and always ask them if they are hungry?? If they are warm??? Are they good??? If the answers to these questions were yes he would say “Good you have all you need in life.” I love it. That freaking cat was smart. When is the last time you checked if someone had enough food in their stomach?? If they were warm and safe?? Probably never. Still think it is God’s fault people are hungry??

We do a lot as a country. We have literally millions of tons of food donated every year by Americans to help stop the hunger world wide. If you aren’t proud of that, next time take three extra minutes to buy a couple extra progreso soups to put in the donation box so you can feel good about yourself. It is a start and that is all we can ask for. Imagine if every man and woman in America donated two cans of soup. Hungry people everywhere would learn to hate progreso soup so maybe throw some Mac and cheese in the box once in a while. Yes it has to be Kraft. The other kinds suck. What kind of monster donates store brand Mac and cheese??

I finally was able to go a couple days keeping my fat ass planted in my chair so I can talk about something other than flopping around on the floor for an hour. I still think that was a message I was supposed to address and honestly I did learn or remind myself that hardships in life can come two days in a row. There is no time frame for crap to come. Can you imagine half way over the “not fair Gods” intervene and stop me from falling backwards while yelling “We got him yesterday!! He isn’t due for another 48 hours!”. Hahaha. Followed by “Hey one of you ladies make him a sandwich. He looks hungry!” I literally laughed out loud at my own joke there. Relax everyone this blog is an ”offended free zone“ which means crack a smile, appreciate what you have daily, and learn to come up with witty comebacks. It is more fun than being pissed off all the time. Oh and put some mayo on my sandwich.

This subject has been on my mind for a couple of days. I heard the God thing about allowing people to be hungry. I don’t know how you feel about God as in “Is there one??”, but I do know there is always two sides to any situation. Yes we as Americans have way more than many many people around the globe. I don’t feel even a little bit guilty about it. It is pretty simple that because we have SO MUCH we are able to do what no other country can. Give. A LOT. Americans are very very generous and without us having so much imagine what the world would look like. If America and Americans had less that doesn’t automatically mean the places that need it would have more. That is not how it works. So be thankful for what you have, more thankful you have enough to share, and pray to Big Bang Theory that never changes.

Be kind to others every single day. Find ways to make the world better. Remember it all starts with you. You alone can’t stop global hunger, but you can make sure the family down the block has food in their fridge.

I appreciate you all,

FknBucky

24
Feb
21

Falling down

I wasn’t planning to write this AM, but I want to get this out while still very fresh. You can see in the picture that I’m a crappy housekeeper. I just leave my mess until the clean house fairy shows up usually dressed like a family member or Vern & Lori. Love those fairies. Okay not true well not all the way true anyway. Nope I got up this AM just like you ready to tackle the day and get started. I usually check work emails first thing to make sure there is nothing being held up by me. The medical equipment can be life or death in a sense and almost always needed sooner not later. Easy enough right. First of all I reached down to the floor to get my charger cable which caused a large spasm in my leg kicking the table spilling my just opened Red Bull all over everything on the table. Awesome. Love that.

After cleaning that up I get back to email land. My body needing attention this AM decides it can do better. One ginormous spasm to make sure the job gets done. I could not fall backwards because of the card table so somehow I spasmed sideways taking the table, chair, and everything with me. The picture today is the carnage that was left behind. The concrete floors are awesome for rolling on, but suck for traction when trying to plant my feet and lift my fat Ass up into my chair. You can’t imagine the flood of emotions when this crap happens. Anger is a given, but the shame and sadness are the hurtful ones. I made a mistake 19 years ago getting on that motorcycle and I pay for it every single moment of every single day of my life. I don’t believe the punishment fits the crime.

Laying down on the ground with no help coming is a situation I would rather avoid. These spasms are just pricks. To make things more fun I’m completely naked as I take a shower after checking morning emails. Laying on the floor I simply think “this isn’t fair”, I’m a happy positive thinker so why does this happen to me?? Who knows. My ankles are vulnerable and I have to be extremely careful how I drag myself around to get back into the chair. Years of scrapping the skin off of them has left the skin weak and easily damaged when things like this happen. I really dislike laying on the floor with zero good options to get back into my chair.

I had to use my brain and Macgyver the crap out of my world to get back on track. I used the package to get a few inches off the floor allowing my legs to stay in the right position enabling me to set up the next lift. Look closely you can see my but imprint on the box. After trying several times I finally made it. No step was easy though. It was very hard and by the time I got back into my chair I was beyond angry. I don’t know the name of the emotion that was running thru my body at that time. I will tell you though, this is the worst way to start a day. I would much rather crawl into bed and redo life tomorrow. That is not an option though.

I don’t share this story for sympathy. I don’t need it, if I wanted sympathy there are many people at the ready to give it to me. Helps nothing so I prefer to not go down that road. I share this so that you might be able to say “wow waking up without enough milk for my cereal is not that big a deal.” When you see me later smiling and telling jokes remember there is no point in crying to you or anyone about my morning fall. It just makes me look weak and I don’t like looking or sounding weak. I tell you this simply because it happened. This is real life and I want to be as honest as possible in what I share in my writing.

I got thru it today and I will get thru it tomorrow. Want to know why I get thru it?? Because I’m a badass. Not really. It is because of you. All of you. My friends and my family. I love, truly fucking love having those moments when we can’t stop laughing. I love the moments when I see life and hope return to a person I help while mentoring/volunteering. I can actually see hope enter a persons body and I promise you there is nothing more powerful or fulfilling than that. I love watching my nieces and nephews grow up into young adults and remember their little faces when Uncle Bucky was coming thru the front door. Now their faces are big, but they still light up when I come around. I love beautiful women of all shapes, sizes, colors, and they used to love me when I was young and good looking, but now I’m old and fat so I admire from afar. Still admire though. I love to travel and try new things any chance I get.

If was to spend anymore time crying about that fall today after I got back up in the chair and the ordeal was over I would have been wasting precious time. I did tell a couple people close to me as venting is something I have to do but other than that I let that BS go. See you later. Why in the F word would I want to carry that brick of anger around with me for the rest of the day, the rest of the week or even the rest of the year. It would accomplish absolutely nothing except hold me back from living my best life. Yeah it sucks, yeah it happened, but that is over now. Move on.

I wasn’t going to share this story. I talked myself out of it this afternoon, but getting ready for bed I realized it is exactly what I mean when I say you must not waste time. How many of my days I have left in my life was I going to commit to this accident??? I voted zero so that is what it got. Don’t feel sorry for me unless you’re female and insist on giving me a lap dance to cheer me up. I will be as sad as you want me… haha. Relax bra burners. I respect women and don’t think they are only here for lap dances. Someone has to make me a sandwich cause lap dances make me hungry. My sense of humor will never leave me. Don’t let others steal your laughter.

Be kind to others, when you fall down (literally and figuratively) get the F back up, and let it go immediately. With no poor me baggage you are free to run to the next happy time. Run fast and take others with you.

FknBucky




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