Posts Tagged ‘help

27
Jun
24

never ending stay…

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Well….. I extended my vacation by another day. Apparently they want you to crop dust the halls after stealing a kidney, but call it passing gas to sound professional until….. I said “farting” a bunch. The doctor finally loosened up her stature, but not my bowels. TMI… I know, but I promised honesty on this blog so suck it up buttercups. By the way speaking of honesty it turns out I’m not gay. That t-shirt is a liar. My friend Nuisance (see what I did there….) told me to be sweet to the nurses, but have you ever heard of a 24 hour restraining order??? Me either. Who knew asking her if she wanted to stick around and snort some of my meds with me was such a big deal…….. A couple lines of stool softener makes for one heck of a story later.

The TV is crap. The channels are 74-1, 74-2, 74-3, and on and on. I don’t know what that means. I have watched two westerns about a guy killing other guys over a woman. Both of them, but different guys dying from another guy killing them. I think the woman might be my stuck up crazy nurse. She would drive anyone to do some killing. She happens to be one that watched on as the others killed me on my last stay here. No joke there. She is sticking with the panic/anxiety story saying “Well you have anxiety when you’re dying.”

I can’t think of a truer statement. Just remember if you check out from not being able to breathe with 93% of your lung filled with fluid, it is the panic that did it. Can’t believe I was so stupid to think otherwise.

My kidney drain.

Might be yet another day. Got an issue with the kidney drain, and I’m not kidneying around.

Thank for all the prayers. Keep them coming and please share the blogs. Some of your friends might not be on my friends list and should hear my life lessons in the blogs. Be kind to others, stop holding petty grudges, and if someone makes you mad – hit them in the face.

FknBucky

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26
Apr
24

My Friend named Grandma

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Just boarded another airplane for another flight home.  I’ve done this dozens actually hundreds of times before, but today is different.  I’m flying home to say goodbye to one of my dearest friends.  I’m so thankful for the time I was able to spend with her and will remember all the wonderful conversations we had over the last 20 years.  For those of you that know me personally you know I have friends all over the world and I’ve been blessed to have so many of them.  This friend was all alone in her category simply because of her name.  Grandma.

I have always been close to my Dads father.  I was named after him and that was a small club to be in.  I probably don’t deserve his name as he was one of the greatest men I’ve ever known.  When he was 80 yrs old I watched him carry a large metal tub filled with corn down to the hog barn to feed the chickens.  Ha.  Just kidding.  There are pigs in the hog barn you fools!! When I would visit my Grandparents, Grandpa and I would sit at the table having tea and thoseamazing chocolate chip cookies only Grandma could make, while G-ma waited on us.  Naturally most of the conversation was between us men.  It was just the way it was.  I mean we all know the golden rule.  Women have to be quiet while the men are talking.

My Grandpa passed away 17 years ago and while back visiting Grandma she mentioned she is awake until 2-3 am most nights.  I started volunteering at the children’s hospital in San Diego around this time.  Every Tuesday night I would open and run a playroom for the kids to get out of their rooms and have some fun.   My drive home was 30-40m min and almost always after 9 PM.  I like to talk to people when I’m driving, but 9 PM is a little late to call friends to just say “hey”. One night I thought Grandma is awake, I’ll call her.  I called, she was up, and we had a great talk.  As time went on, week after week, I would continue to call G-ma on my drive home. She looked forward to it and so did I.  Something happened during those calls.  My Grandma became my friend.

She told me so many stories. How she first knew my Grandfather was the man she would marry.  He was at her place to help do some sort of work and as he left the house with the others, my grandma handed him a pair of gloves and their hands touched.  Not a quick touch, but long enough to gaze into each others eyes and decide I’m going to marry this person.  Simpler times.  A hand lingering just long enough to relay the message, but not too long to be creepy. 

She told me about her wedding day.  They were going to “honeymoon” in Waterloo planning to eat a fine dinner and then going to see a movie.  For reasons not discussed the young married couple were running late and had to smash a couple burgers quickly so they could still make the movie on time.  The best part was the happiness in her voice as she relived these memories with me.  I felt and still feel honored she shared these stories with me.  I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to know her so well. 

Grandma had so many pictures and was a rock within the family.  Doing all she could to keep the family together having family reunions and always encouraging everyone to let go of the anger, be open to kindness, and forgive when necessary.  It seems fitting that our whole family will be brought together one more time by Anna Pearl.  I can envision her and Grandpa (together again!) looking down at us all with smiles knowing they did their best for their family and I’m not alone when I say THANK YOU to both of them. 

Just part of Grandmas super army. Love you forever Grandma.

I will say this.  MAKE the time to talk with people you love.  None of us are that busy we can’t put forth the effort.  Well so and so never calls me, why should I reach out to them???  Why shouldn’t you??  Whatever happened let it go.  It isn’t worth dragging that anger anchor around with you.  Don’t you want to be free of this pissed off attitude that sucks up all your energy so you can stay mad???

I loved my Grandmother without question.  She was a remarkable woman.  All that came natural.  I’m happiest though knowing I took the time to make my amazing G-ma my best friend while I had the opportunity.  She taught me so many lessons that I will use the rest of my life.  Many times people will say I didn’t know what I had until it was gone.  I have learned very hard lessons that way, but this one time I got ahead of the game.  I made sure to appreciate my friend everyday. 

The world lost a bright shining light of a human, but heaven gained an angel that will forever be looking down at our families. 

That is what I wrote on the flight out.  I’m currently on the flight back to Charlotte. At the visitation I went by, but purposely didn’t look into the casket directly.  I used a bit of side eye, then closed my eyes, and said a private prayer between Anna Pearl and myself.  I didn’t want the vision of her in my head overwhelming all the happy mental pics I’ve taken of her during my life. 

My family is far from perfect.  My Grandma wasn’t perfect.  I am so far from Perphekt that I have to spell it wrong.  I might name one of my kids that actually….  Truth is like all families there is some drama and blah blah.  I don’t involve myself in that.  Some people need conflict and thrive on it.  I’m not one of those.  I prefer if something has your panties all wadded up, say something, get it off your chest, and then move on. 

The celebration of life was awesome.  Many of my family members made the trip home and we got to visit, laugh, and enjoy the moment.  Anna Pearl got us all together one last time.

We are all going to miss her, but I’ve promised myself to replay the great times in my head and share the advice, family history, and the wisdom my dear friend Grandma passed to me.

I love you Grandma and Grandpa.  So happy you are together again.  I promise to do my best to encourage everyone to drop the anchors and be happy again.  At this stage of the game no body is changing.  Just accept your family members for who they are and simply love them unconditionally.

Thank you,

FknBucky

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PLEASE comment, like, and share. So important to get great information out to people that might need it. I write in hopes to change peoples lives. If I can help one person with these words my life will be considered a success by me.

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10
Sep
23

No Bad Kids

By Bucktown 4 Comments
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The world is a crazy place. Different cultures, different people, different color of people, different languages, different trees, different crops, different laws, and on and on. I spent my early years getting picked on daily by the other kids at school. I’ve talked about this before. I hated it. I felt alone all the time. I was around people just like me, but somehow I was not part of the group. No differences, but clearly we were not the same. It sucked.

It was also a major blessing. These experiences made me appreciate friendships on a massive level. Not having something makes a person appreciate it more once they get it. Hence why working for something is better than someone giving it to you, but that is a message for another day. My appreciation for friendships allowed to make thousands of friends over the years. Young, old, white, black, Mexicans, Germans, Asians, gay, straight, and blah blah blah.

Having all these different points of view has been very educational for myself and I’m very thankful for that. The other side is I know a lot of people that pass away. Someday it will be me. We all go sometime so work hard to be a person remembered for the right reasons. I lost a friend this week who should be remembered by the world for things you don’t know about and it is a shame. She was an amazing human and I’m a better person because of the conversations we had. I was young when I met her as one of my friends dated her Granddaughter so when we went over there she would talk with us.

We drank beer and she allowed it because knew we would be safe there and she knew if she didn’t we would have gone out driving around. The lesser of two evils I suppose. She took care of her two granddaughters for reasons that aren’t your business or mine for that matter. I wish I was able to talk and see them as I will always care and love them, but life happens and we all get busy with the paths we have taken. Some great times and memories of those days. Sitting there at times I would find myself talking with Leona about all types of stuff. She didn’t like the drinking, but instead of screaming NO like a crazy person she would ask “Why do you think you need the beer??”

That type of conversation was foreign to me. If my Dad didn’t want me to do something he told me he would kill me if I did it again. Sometimes that worked and sometimes a it made me learn how to hide it better. I would struggle to answer her question because no one ever asked me a question like that before and actually cared about my answer. I had no idea how important those conversations were while I was having them, but later in life I would reflect on them and become very grateful for those lessons.

I assumed I was a “bad” kid because I didn’t follow the rules like other kids my age. It is easy to allow these thoughts into your mind, but extremely hard to get out once you’ve allowed them to set up shop. That goes for all negative thoughts you tell yourself. Leona explained to me that “There are no bad kids.” There are bad parents, bad environments, bad decisions, bad leaders, bad preachers, bad schools, and bad all kinds of stuff. No bad kids though.

To completely write off a child is a crap thing to do. To look at a kid and say you’re not worth fighting for is borderline evil. As humans we can do better. Some kids might say “Eff your kindness, I’m going to go rob someone”, but that doesn’t mean we stop trying for all the rest of them. My opinion of myself changed the night I had this conversation with her and thankfully I never forgot the lesson. Anyone that knows me can tell you that I will do anything to help a kid. That wasn’t natural instinct on my part, it was a piece of wisdom that Leona gave me. Her legacy will live on every time I don’t give up on a kid just because they or someone they know thinks they are “bad”.

It has been over 20 years since I’ve seen her although I did send X-Mas cards a few times. You never know what you can learn from a person if you don’t take the time to get to know them. If you want to be wise and a person of substance you must talk to people outside of your circle. I hope she knows just how much I respected her and that she changed my thought process in life for the better. I could not even begin to count the lives I’ve been able to improve using the philosophy Leona so graciously gave me. It took years for those comments to actually mean something to me, but once I understood what she meant the world around me changed.

It became much less about me and it caused me to understand that I could make a difference in the world one person at a time. It becomes addicting. To help. To see someone succeed when their whole world told them they couldn’t. I’ve already overcame so much in my own life. I know the formula. It isn’t a secret. One simply has to wake up and say “Not today MoFO” and then go out to the world with a smile that can’t be broken. I’m good. Now I concentrate on helping others see that for themselves. I have no number of lives changed except for this. As many as I possibly can. If my whole life goes by and I only help one person it will be worth it. That one person might change the lives of thousands because I helped him/her on their way.

You have no idea how many lives you change for the better. Or for the worse. Maybe Leona only affected my life, but I would say her legacy is a massive one. What will your legacy be??

No Bad Kids. I will always be in your debt Leona.

FknBucky

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16
Nov
22

Take Notice

By Bucktown 3 Comments
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In my head I’m like why haven’t you been writing more. I wanted to follow up the other one the next day, but things just got busy. Then got busy again. Days go by so darn fast. I’m in Durham, NC at my favorite hotel at this time. It is a new AC and the rooms are perfect. I drove an extra eight miles just so I could stay here. The staff knows Annabel and I now so it is nice to come in the front door and see a friendly face. I have a rule about talking with people. The front desk guy, I want to remember his name, the guy taking care of a parking lot, and the maintenance crew at my apartment building. Well the current crew are not super observant. I had water all over my hallway and reported it. I got an email telling me it is the washing machine so it is my problem to deal with. They bought the washer so….. Yeah. I also thought there is no way. I got home and looked at it. The area around the washer was dry, but the hot water heater in the closet next door was in a pond. There was a frog. Some tadpoles and the Mexican kid next door asked if I would let him catch some catfish. I’m just kidding. He isn’t Mexican.

There was a bar we liked to go to prior to COVID stupidity. It was a very popular spot and the parking lot always filled up early. Every time I went there I talked to the parking guy. He had 3 kids and that was his 2nd job to make enough money to take care of them. In the cold, the rain, the heat, humidity, or whatever else there was he was sitting there protecting the parking lot. Not to mention the jerks that said bad things to him cause they didn’t get a parking spot. Like somehow it was his fault. I could relate. I know what it is like to have more bills than money, I know what it is like to be hungry or eat the same thing for a week (Ramen) before payday. Guess who always got a parking spot. No matter how full that lot was he saw me coming picked up the cone so I could drive in and then told the D-Bag driving his Range Rover to keep going. Sorry a Range Rover jerk cut me off today so I hate those cars tonight.

I went to book my hotel and it was full. I called and asked the kid who answered if they had any accessible rooms available. He put me on hold. I only give about 30 seconds to hold. I got a life to live. Don’t expect me to sit around waiting for you to get to me. I’m FknBucky. I wait for none. Plus I knew if I called after 3, Zach would be working, and he gets it done. They are booked full he told me, and then said hang on. I gave him a few extra seconds. Sure enough my usual room (No you don’t get to know the number) would be ready when I arrived. The rate online is $171, but I paid $125. I always say “be kind to people”, treat everyone with respect (because they deserve it until they prove otherwise), and slow down sometimes. Notice people that you may have looked past in prior days. Your life will improve over night, you will be happier, and you’ll be a great role model for the kids watching you.

I feel better. I have this wheelchair I picked up from a Veteran that has a broken bracket. I usually put these on, but sometimes the VA uses an outside vendor. I have no choice, but they put this bracket on incorrectly. I thought it was a couple bolts and done, but once I started looking close at it I realized I had to take it all apart and start over. I spent 4 hours jacking around with it. The first couple trying to fix it without doing a whole rebuild. Waste of time. I could have added the bolts and it would work for a while, but I can’t do that. That voice in my head says “Don’t you cut corners Bucky” which is simply the way I’ve been programmed.

Not sure what to call this blog. Maybe we can use this to be a reminder telling us to be kind to one another. You don’t know what someone’s past is. The hardships at home that a co-worker never talks about. You just never know. A moment in my life that I will never forget was an afternoon in Solana Beach. I got off on Lomas Sante Fe rd and there is always traffic in Cali. I was 8 cars back when the light turned green and the lead car didn’t move. After a few seconds I was screaming I would kill their children like any sane person would do. I mean three seconds at a green light. Everyone was honking, yelling, and threatening. I was 8th in line so unless they had a huge litter of children I wasn’t going to get one. I was mad at that as well. People started going around them. The reality was it was only a 10 second delay, but hey don’t put me on hold with your car either!! As I passed the stopped car my heart dropped. I will never forget the image. Ever. The driver was maybe 25 and I would guess her Mom was in the passenger seat. Both of them were sobbing. Not crying. Sobbing. Whatever news they just got destroyed them. I instantly became very ashamed at myself. 10 seconds and I lose my mind. Clearly they lost someone very close.

Slow down and take the time to talk with someone you normally do not. That good feeling you get is addicting. Be kind to the world and your life will improve.

Love Who you Are Today —- Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

FknBucky

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25
Jul
22

Squeeze those you Love

By Bucktown 4 Comments
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Been too long since I’ve posted a blog. I’ve got about 10 typed up, but get sidetracked and don’t finish them. I am kind of busy, but not as busy as I like to think. Regardless of what I do, I always feel like it isn’t enough. I can give more, volunteer more, work more, mentor more, and just about everything more. It is a good/bad thing. I don’t feel satisfied or fulfilled very often, but I’m also driven to push on and keep chasing my goals/dreams. Sometimes life has a way of hitting the “reset” button and reminding us that the only important thing is spending time with people you care about.

I moved to Charlotte 7 years ago. I knew no one in this city. Verno (great friend from high school) was 1 hr away, but in the city I was alone. The guy I replaced (job) took me around for training my first week. I was living in a hotel because I hadn’t found an apartment yet. This guy and I went for beers one night when his brother (Eddie) joined us. We clicked right away and I was no longer without a friend in Charlotte. That same week they had a birthday party (the group photo is from that day) and invited me so I ended up meeting a great group of guys that like to have some beers and laugh just like me.

Eddie and Ed

Getting to know these guys I call my Married Friends (cause they are all single) was awesome. We went on a tubing trip up in the mountains drinking a lot and floating down a river. I got to know Eddie’s best friend Ed. You read that right. Ed had the same sense of humor as me and we had plenty of bad jokes to go around. I was invited to come up for poker night and went. Nobody’s home was accessible and we had stairs to navigate on the way inside. No problem early in the night. After poker was a different story. My friend Ed insisted on being the guy to help me down the stairs. A few moments later Ed and I were spooning each other in the mud with my chair rolling down a hill somewhere. Ed was a bad wheelchair helper after drinking.

Fast forward to another poker night in a different house. We ate wings, drank beers and played cards. When it was time to leave Ed wanted redemption. You know me. Lets party. There were two stairs, not seven, this time so I thought lets do this. A few moments later Ed and I were cuddling on the garage floor. Maybe he liked spooning me and this was all on purpose…. I fell slow and wasn’t hurt so it was just funny. My man Ed didn’t want the others to see cause they would bust his balls for another 5 months just like last time. He was determined to get me back in my chair on his own.

I’m fat now. I weigh more than I look like. Ed grabbed me around the waist/belly and LIFTED with all he had. He also squeezed me so hard I shit myself. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that part of the story. Ed thought I farted and the look on his face was the same as if someone punched him in the nose. He got a good deep whiff of the Busch Light poop that he had just squeezed out of me. I thought well that is one way to make sure he doesn’t volunteer for chair duty again…

We lost Ed. He passed away a week ago. I’d given any amount of money to have him dump me onto the floor again. I just found out today. It isn’t fair. He worked hard. Took care of his wife. Was a great father to his young kids. At the beach on vacation he fell and passed away in front of his family. The thought of it breaks my heart. When you travel and meet people like I do, it becomes easy to identify good people that are fun to be around. It made no difference how long it was since we last hung out, the moment we started talking and giving each other crap all that went away.

Ed is the only man on Earth to literally squeeze the shit out of me. I’m sure he will be remembered as a great father, great husband, great son, and great friend, but for me he will be remembered for the poop squeeze. I am sure he would want it that way. This news was my reset button. Tomorrow is not guaranteed no matter who you are, how much stuff you have, how much money you have, or any other measurement you want to bring up. Treat the people you come in contact with like it could be the last time. Be remembered for laughing, helping, loving, caring, being genuine, or my new personal favorite be remembered for squeezing the shit out of a cripple. Something tells me Ed is a on short list with that one.

This photo was taken 5 minutes before he passed. Your time here in this life is not guaranteed.

There is a GoFundMe page, link below, for his widow and kids. Please give what you can. Everyone I know can give something unless you decide to ignore others that need help. To me that is a character thing. Do what is right. My hope is to remind the people lucky enough to know Ed of how fun and funny he was. The world was better with him in it, and I truly know it is a little less bright without him. That said the memories live on forever. He is in our hearts, he is in our stories, and because of this Ed will never be forgotten.

I have an opinion on losing great people too soon or just in general. To miss someone means you had to spend time with them, get to know them, and appreciate them. To grieve for a loved one means you had the pleasure of knowing them well. The harder we grieve simply means we loved them a lot and we are blessed to have so many great memories with that loved one. Without love there is no grieving. Be proud you recognized the greatness in Ed and he felt the love from you everyday. Your love and time are the greatest gift you can give to another human. That is right. Read it again. The best gift you can give is free. Cost zero dollars.

My love and prayers to his family. There are a lot of people that will miss him dearly. I hope all of them remember Ed with happy funny stories because that is what he was. A happy funny guy.

FknBucky

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https://www.gofundme.com/f/ed-studer-memorial-fundraiser

11
Jun
22

A little Help

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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Hello my friends. Things have been crazy lately and I don’t think it is going to be better for some time. The cost of everyday items is out of control. I paid $91 to fill my van up yesterday. Unreal. It used to be $38 not so very long ago. I am a single man (cool chick wanted) that has been blessed with the opportunity to work for myself in a business I love. I’ve worked hard to get where I am and I’m very proud of it. I have been flat broke, homeless, and very worried about how I was going to eat that day. That is a scary place to be and I don’t wish that on anyone ever. That being said I have also always worked. I got a job where I could and a few weeks later I had money in my pocket. Just work. Any job. Millions of people are happy to help a person that shows they are willing to help themselves.

I wanted to keep it short today. I know people that are on or have been on a very strict budget. Doubling fuel cost, crazy food price increases, and the inflation hurts real people right now. I don’t care if you are liberal or conservative. NO ONE should be hungry in this country. Nancy has a $30,000 freezer filled with $12 a pint ice cream. Think she spends her night stressing about your family??? No one is threatening Mitch McConnell to turn off the power due to non-payment because he had to choose between buying food and paying the power bill. They both make me sick.

I want to offer that anyone having trouble buying food to email me or contact me. No judging. No one but me and you will ever know. I don’t need a pat on the back. I filled up a guys gas tank yesterday that tried to sell me a recliner that was in the back of his truck. He asked me if I wanted to buy it for $10 as I was getting out of my van and I quickly said no and made sure he knew I wasn’t interested. Then I heard him talking to someone else saying he needed gas money to get home. I dismissed him so quickly I didn’t see the whole situation. I felt very disappointed in myself blowing off another human in need. I gave him fuel and didn’t even ask his name. It didn’t matter, but the genuine look of appreciation and relief that his plea for help was answered. The horrible situation he was in was over. A random guy in a wheelchair was in position to help and he did.

I hope all of you take a moment to help someone in need. That is the only reason I share that story. The whole point is this. I will buy you groceries. No questions asked. No thank you required. I simply want to help others in need. Don’t watch the news. There are lots of good people in the world so I urge you to pay attention to them. There are ways to send food and that is what I’ll do. Please don’t be a jerk and ask for what you don’t need. I’m not buying you beer or sending cash to anyone.

On the flip side if you are able to help those in need please let me know. I only have so much I can afford to give personally, but I know there are others out there that have the means to help. NO ONE should go hungry. Adult or child. Share this blog. Write your own. Let us share the message that good people are out there and we can help each other.

Be Kind to Everyone.

FknBucky

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11
Nov
21

Going to make a Phone Call

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Justice for Ryan Cooper. I think about it every single day. I don’t understand with all the tools law enforcement has why don’t we have someone in custody for this horrible crime. You are missed and loved Ryan. Busch Light Brotherhood (includes the ladies) will never forget you and never stop looking for who is responsible.

It is Veterans Day. What does that mean to you?? Do you think about it?? I’m willing a bunch of people don’t give it a thought. Not those that read my blog because you are patriots and I appreciate every one of you. Keep reading, keep helping others EVERY DAY, and most of all keep making yourself better. Listen to Jim Rohn. I’ve sent his seminar to over 20 people to help them thru hard times.

We are free in this country. I do believe that is an enormous responsibility to not piss it away. In name of ”good” there are individuals willing to trade a little freedom for the easy road. Not me. I will overcome any obstacle and have proven that to myself more times than I can count. You can walk up to a military person and say ”Thank you for your service” and feel good about yourself the rest of the day. Words are crap. Lots of people say lots of things. You want to honor the men and women of the military?? Use your freedom for more than standing on a street corner holding a sign that says ”Poor Me, Life is hard”.

I believe the book ”Lone Survivor” should be mandatory reading for all high school kids. It is the only book I had to put down because I was crying to hard to read. I still remember the moment. I was living at La Jolla Palms in San Diego area, I bawled like hungry baby as I read those words, and relived the battle with author Marcus Luttrell. The bravery and sacrifice these warriors make without question is impossible to repay. Want to thank a Veteran?? Pick up a book. Read about the things these men and women go thru on the battlefield. Work at becoming a better human every single day of your life. You are free to educate yourself in this awesome country.

The four frogmen that went out to find a really bad guy, but 3 goat herders came up on top of them blowing their cover. They were faced with an impossible situation. Kill the herders so they would not be able to alert the massive amount of Taliban fighters very close by. They knew if they killed these unarmed goat herders they would most likely face a court martial. Simply tying them up could cause them to die and then a herd of goats would just be wandering around. The last choice of let them go and get ready for a very bad fight. This is what they did and the bravery is off the charts.

The Taliban fighters came at them fast and relentlessly. A chance to kill some elite American Seals would be very useful in the propaganda machine they used to control the mountain people. I believe the average education there is about 3rd grade level. Intelligent people are harder to control and manipulate. Hmmm if only someone had said the best way to honor the sacrifice made by military people is to educate yourself…. For the record reading the shampoo bottle while you poop does not count. It did not take long for the Seals to get pinned down by the Taliban and stuck without an exit plan. They were in trouble, but had no phone signal from their positions. Insert Lieutenant Michael Murphy.

Mike Murphy is a legend and always will be. He was incredibly respected by his Seal peers and by everyone that knew him. As the ”leader” of the four seals it was on him to get help on the way. He looked at his friends and said I’m going to make a phone call. He left the safety of their cover to get a phone signal. I’ve done this a hundred times, but never with a few hundred enemy fighters surrounding me and constantly shooting AK-47’s at me. He knew what was going to happen and did it anyway. Out in the open he called back to base and told them they were in big trouble and going to die without help. Mike Murphy died making that phone call. On a mountain in Afghanistan fighting for who knows what with rules and regulations that cost lives of wonderful people.

War is horrible. The reality is freaking horrible. Bad things happen. That is why it is called war and not fun. There is a lot more to this story, but I’m going to stop here. If you haven’t read the book make time to do that. It is an important story to know and we as a country owe it to those young men to actually remember. Never forget is a crap meme people put on their Facebook page on Sept 10-12. Don’t be one of those people. Read, educate yourself, and make a positive difference in your community. Pick up trash, play checkers with old people, make sandwiches for homeless people, or anything you think of that will simply make your environment a little better.

We get so caught up in this holiday and that holiday. They are just days like the other 364. Take time every day to make a positive difference. I truly believe the greatest way to honor our Veterans is to have pride in our communities, to educate ourselves and our children about why freedom is so precious, and simply be proud to say ”Fuck yeah! I’m American!!”

FknBucky

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26
Feb
21

Lesson Time

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
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The last couple days tested me to see if I would break, but we all know that isn’t happening. Not now, not ever. I don’t get bothered by being knocked down. It will never stop happening so why let it get to you??? To many of us have forgotten how important that lesson is for ourselves AND for the leaders of tomorrow. Our kids need to be knocked down. Sometimes two days in a row. Learning to handle life when it isn’t going your way is one of the most important lessons adults can give to kids. When you have the strength to say “Not today”, I’m not going to let some BS get to me today the world changes. It becomes less scary. You know that no matter what happens you are going to handle it.

Once I get past the “mother F**#^&$R, God DS&^$, Son of a B*#^$ moments on the floor I do what it takes to get back up. I believe I needed to learn that lesson or at least remind myself that we don’t get to pick when “hard times” come. We can only react to it. Luckily we have 100% control on how we react to the hard. What is your reaction?? Do you even know?? Has someone loved you enough to let you fall two days in a row and figure it out on your own??? I sure hope so. You simply have to accept that things happen in life. Sometimes those things are two days in a row and it sucks, but you have to rise above the suck or like a T-Shirt I have seen before “Embrace the Suck.”

I have the strength to forget portions of things. There is just something about me that has always understood that the lesson is important so learn it, keep it, file it, but let the rest of the BS go. Drop it like an old pair of shoes. Later. There was a day back when I was snowboarding that I won’t ever forget. I may have shared this story before, but here it is again. This guy from Chicago who was very charismatic was in the snowboard shop. All the employees (about 5-6) were gathered around him during slow time laughing. He was most likely in his 50’s, but cool. I wasn’t in the group yet but noticed a group of people laughing and I was going join that. I walked up saying something cause that is what I do and this gentleman looked me up and down. The group stopped and it was just him staring at me. Then he said “F*ck you.” I cocked my head like Annabel does when she is trying to understand me. I thought I have to fight this old man?? I hope he took multi-vitamin because IA/WI was about to be represented proper. He repeated it adding “F*ck you, You’re that guy.”

Now I’m curious. Smiling at him I’m like what?? He said ”You’re that guy. No matter what happens you are always okay.” I just went from expecting an ass kicking cause if you have ever been in a real fight you know better than to fight “old men”. They are meaner than your dumbass. A young buck like myself had to worry about looking cool, but old men don’t give a F about looking cool. They will hit you with a board, walk away slowly sipping their coffee, and probably buy you a beer later unless you’re a super d-bag. Don’t fight old men. Okay, but now I’m trying to understand what he meant. The whole group was looking at me when he repeated it. He said “No matter what happens, you’re always okay.” I couldn’t argue the point. He was right. How he could see that so quickly has always been a mystery to me. I had self confidence for days so maybe that?? It stuck with me and I’ve drawn strength from those words a complete stranger said to me many many times. I would love to see him again. Let me know if you run into him. He was a tall black man from Chicago that told funny jokes. There that should narrow it down.

I had way different ideas for blogs this week, but sometimes a different message demands to be shared. I can only assume someone that reads this blog needed to hear about me falling two days in a row only to get right back up smiling two days in a row. The smashed screen on my IPad is a bummer, but it is a thing and I promise you there is NOT one possession I have that if taken away will ruin my day. Ef that. I will never let any worldly possession be that important to me. Try it. It is liberating. Of course I’ll be bummed as some things are cool, but it is only stuff. Memories and friendships. That is where you put ALL of your focus and you’ll have a very fulfilling life. Feel free to donate on my non-existent Go Fund Me Page so I can buy a new IPAD.

ACTUALLY I do know of a person in need right now of some help. I will put the link below. Every dollar is important so please help if you can.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/hoobapalooza?utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR37XWFBTK9mNS6ELOuOxxQvn40P3cVd7msp0tzHuwfTv0oL_qal2SW6S4s

If you can’t help financially please simply share it. The more people that see it, the more help we can do. EVERY dollar helps so no donation is too small. This is a person who’s living situation has become very difficult. The only bathroom is upstairs and do to the progression of his CP he is no longer able to climb the stairs. Take a moment and imagine that. Thousands if not millions of people overcome insane obstacles to simply survive, and you’re crying about what exactly??? Don’t worry there is no my problems are bigger than yours competition, but sometimes understanding what others go thru can help give us strength to tackle our own problems.

I feel good this AM and don’t worry I’m so paranoid about falling again that I’ve rearranged my living room. Probably should have done that after the first fall, but I assumed that was a fluke. Now I know that lightening will strike twice in the world of FknBucky so I had better be ready for it. So remember just because something hard happened to you yesterday doesn’t make you immune to it today. When it happens you have to take a moment for anger, shame, and sadness, but then move on. That poor me baggage will weigh YOU down. No one else. Personally I’m going to look for extra ways to spread kindness today. It will make me feel awesome knowing that I took the energy from falling and passed it on as a positive for someone. I could easily use that energy and snap at someone else to make them feel like crap. If I’m hurt then someone else should be too. That is a stupid thing to do so don’t do it.

Take a breath, take a moment, and then do something kind for anyone expecting nothing in return. The expecting nothing IS the most important part. Do kind things because it is the right thing to do and builds positive character in you. You can’t buy positive character no matter how much money you have, but you can earn it every single day for free.

Happy Friday

FknBucky

17
Feb
21

Secret to Life.

By Bucktown 1 Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
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Want to know the secret to life?? Make life fun for the people around you. Mess with people. You don’t have to be vicious or mean, but mess with their head a little bit. The first and most important step is to learn how to laugh at yourself. This is also a skill. Stop taking the “life” thing so seriously. No one gets out alive. You only get so much time. Here is the deal if you make an effort to make people in your inner circle feel good about themselves and laugh, your life improves. Now ready for the real mind blowing simplistic fact?? Imagine if everyone did that. If everyone on planet Earth could stop thinking about themselves and scheming on how to get more for ME the whole world could change overnight.

In the military the soldiers don’t fight for freedom back home, or for the right for some jerk to be able to burn the American flag, but for their brothers next to them. They put it all on the line for the guy/gal on their left and right. Freedom and flag burning jackhole are the results of this brotherhood and trust between those on the battlefield. When the bullets start flying they fight to keep the ones next to them safe and understand that those 2 people are doing the exact same thing. Together they are stronger and do not bend.

We don’t have any bullets flying at us or it doesn’t happen to often anyway, but we do have sour puss people in our lives that simply want to drag you and anyone else around them down into the poor me level. Don’t give in. It sucks down there. Say enjoy your trip into crybaby land, throw up some deuces, and be like peace out. Then avoid that crappy person for the rest of your life. Don’t worry they will find some other sucker to listen to the constant bitching, and together they can wallow around in the “world is too hard” mud together.

The world isn’t hard, you’re just a human that gets exactly what you deserve. You think negative, creating a basket full of crap thoughts, and then throw your negative seeds everywhere you go. Sooner or later that first negative seed starts to grow. And then another grows. And another. Pretty soon you have created a big fat negative forest that you live in. Of course you cry to anyone that will listen about how did this happen?? You freaking created it. That is what happened. You wanted the poor me sympathy from anyone who would willingly give it to you and then you just kept going. There is no one to blame but yourself and I’ll believe that until I’m killed by a gang of Chinese hookers at the age of 56 while out for a morning jog. Never ask a witch in the forest how you die. Lesson learned here the hard way.

Learn to smile. Learn to look at setbacks as learning opportunities. Learn to embrace others in your life warmly and leave your BS at the door. They don’t want to hear it. We all have stuff to deal with. You’re not special. I will gladly help anyone that needs it when I’m in a position to do so. You can ask anyone that knows me personally I am one of the first people call because they know I will help if possible and that I won’t hold back if I feel they need a kick in the ass. Don’t ask to borrow money. Chinese friends are expensive so I have no extra cash. The reason nobody likes you is because you don’t like yourself. It is sad and I wish it wasn’t the truth for so many, but when you have all this negative energy spewing out of you it is impossible to be happy alone because you suck.

So fix it and stop complaining about how you never catch a break all the time. The breaks are there. They always are, but when you are hell bent on crying about “poor me” those opportunities roll right on by to the next person ready to take advantage of them. Good things happening don’t come with a flashing light and hundred dollar bills raining from the sky which is what your lazy whining butt wants. No. They come in the shape of hard work, waking up everyday and getting after it, and believing in yourself. I can think of a dozen people I would like to tattoo this message on their chest, but I don’t waste my time anymore. If you aren’t willing to fix yourself, I’m not giving my energy to you. Nope, I say hello politely and then move on because my life is short and I’m going to take advantage of every opportunity I can identify. Wasting anytime in the crybaby mud hole isn’t for me.

So get after it. Smile A LOT. Help others. Go out of your way to help those that appreciate it, but always expect nothing in return. Expecting nothing means you can feel good about your deed and not have the let down thoughts like “I was sure person X would go on Facebook and tell everyone how great I am for helping.” If this is what you want stay home. You don’t get it. Simply put be happy you’re a good person inside and let that be enough because in the grand scheme of things this is the ONLY thing that truly matters.

Be kind to others and remember random acts of kindness make you a better person.

FknBucky

04
Feb
21

I need help

By Bucktown 1 Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
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(** I started this blog the other day, but ran out of time to finish, hence the 4 AM**)

Well here we go. Another 4 AM morning, but it beats not waking up so like every other day, I will accept it and move on. I have a couple other blogs started, but they will take a back seat today as I wanted to talk about something I absolutely suck at. One would think that by age 27 I would have figured out how to do something as simple as the task we are going to discuss over the next four paragraphs. I know that I’m not alone in skipping over, ignoring, and simply letting pride get in the way of this ever important tool we need in life.

What could it possibly be?? Any guesses?? To be honest if you don’t have it figured out by now I kinda feel sorry for you because you are stupid. Don’t worry you’re not alone. This world is full of stupid people and they are breeding at record pace. More on that in a future blog, but for today we will let the idiots on planet Earth be. If calling stupid people stupid offends you then you are going to have a rough time reading any of my blogs. I do not include people with real mental handicaps when I talk that way, in fact quite the opposite. I do include lazy when I use the term stupid. Off topic, but important I mention this story. A few years ago while spending time with my nephews I made a comment using the term ‘retarded” and it didn’t compute that I said anything wrong until my eight year old nephew called me out. He said “It isn’t their fault they are special in that way so we don’t use words like that.” He was absolutely right and I’m happy he called me out. Funny where and who we can learn from if we simply shut up and listen sometimes.

So back to the topic of the day. Asking for help. I suck at it. I will be the first one in line to help a stranger, friend, or even some of my family. I understand that it is a necessary thing to do to make it thru life successfully and learning to ask for help is a skill just like everything else we do. Knowing how and when to ask is the key. I have gotten better at this mainly because I’m getting older and the wheelchair limits what I can do. My personal stupidity is endless when it comes to this.

I once heard another person in a wheelchair talk about flipping their mattress. I have no idea what size mattress he mentioned, if it was a pillow top, or really anything else about the situation. I just knew if that gentleman (I wanted to say fucking guy, but my Mom said I have to stop cursing in my blog so if curse words offend you please don’t read this line) could do it then so could I. I can do anything and I truly believe that every single day of my life. The very next day I decided to flip my Queen sized double pillow top mattress because I’m a guy and we are born to do dumb shit like this.

I was living in a one bedroom apartment in Solana Beach, CA at the time of this mattress flipping awesomeness. I just did what you would think. I started picking one corner of the mattress, just kept lifting scooting my head and shoulder along trying to get the whole mattress vertical so it would flip. I’m not going to lie (if I was going to lie I would just say I didn’t do this) at one point I was thinking there is absolutely no chance of this ending well, but I was committed and that other gentleman did it so obviously I can to. It was looking like success was about to be mine until well, it wasn’t.

The mattress pretty much pushed me and the chair right over, it landed on top of me in such a way that I was pinned between the mattress, my dresser, and a wall. I was screwed. Now this would be bad, but we all know FknBucky doesn’t screw up a little bit, I screw up a lot a bit when it is my turn for stupid. I settled into my new position of locked on the floor with a big ass mattress on top of me which by the way was also pinned under the bed frame at this time so I couldn’t just slide it off. It needed to be lifted about 3’ in the air, but I have height issues when laying on the ground paralyzed from the chest down. This is when I also noticed my lamp that was of course on rocking and falling down onto the mattress. Light bulbs are hot so that was not good.

I laid there thinking “Wow, I am a dumbass.” I couldn’t move as my chair was pinned in somehow as well and the whole situation got so bad so quickly I was actually in awe at how bad I fucked up. Sorry Mom. I guess it was not my day to burn up in a mattress accident that was my own doing because a girl I was seeing at the time happened to stop by. She was screaming in the door “are you home??” And I debated for a few moments if I really needed help out of this one. I guarantee you I looked for any way to handle the situation on my own, but ended up yelling “I’m in here.”

The look on her face when she came into the bedroom at the carnage in front of her was priceless. Had she not come along this could be a much sadder lesson about asking for help. I have a friend now this week that happened to stop by my life and give me the help she knew I needed simply because I was too stubborn to ask. I’ve been blessed in life with great friends, but I always say you have to be a friend to have them. I take friendship seriously as none of us can do it alone all of the time. Two big lessons today. One ask for help when you need it and two make sure you offer it genuinely without expecting something in return to those you care about.

Okay fine there is a third lesson here. Don’t try to flip your mattress because some random guy at a bar said he could do his with a lamp on. The only problem was that darn lamp……

Do kind things for others every day and thank you Moonbeam.

FknBucky

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