FknBucky

I haven’t posted in a couple days simply because I haven’t felt right about the things I was letting out. I kept getting sucked back into that dumb Royal crap although I did and will not watch the interview. It is everywhere though. Put it this way. If you can’t find a reason to be happy in Meghan shoes then you have completely failed at life. Completely. So Fuck her and her bullshit. That is how I really feel on that matter.

This used to be a paragraph complaining about politicians. I didn’t like it so I’ve come back to erase it. To summarize it I will say this. I am never donating one penny to any of them. Ever. Please read 2nd to last sentence in first paragraph. That is what I got to say.

Okay now that I have the BS out of the way lets talk being happy. Completely random today, but I came across a video on YouTube that I had to watch. It made me laugh immediately which was what I needed. It is now 5:16 AM, but I have been up since 3:30. I made myself a promise when I decided to do this blog thing for real this year that I would be honest with those that read it even though I don’t want to sometimes. I had an issue with my bowels which forced me awake at 3:30 to which I have spent the last 2 hours cleaning myself and my apartment from this issue. Sucks, but it happens sometimes and it is something a paraplegic has to deal with. Still think your alarm clock is a jerk. I can’t go back to sleep because I have a meeting with a Veteran at 9 AM today. I also promised to bring homemade cinnamon rolls that I prepared for baking last night. A good part of me wants to crawl back into bed and wait for tomorrow. That would be a waste though. I might be dead tomorrow and spending my last day on Earth feeling sorry for myself over something I can’t control seems like a stupid plan.

So I don’t. I let go of the anger and poor me BS so that I can get back to living. The video. So it was of Chris Farley going onto Letterman. Wow. The guy was such a wonderful entertainer. You can just see thru him and realize 90% of his big ass was heart. He had his own demons, but the selfless way he made others smile and laugh using his own body as the punch line. It hurts to be “big” and people judge you even when they say they’re not. The world lost something special the day he passed on. A rare treasure that can’t be reinvented. Many people have tried and continue to try and fill the ginormous shoes left behind by a legend. I have done stand up and it is terrifying. To be so willing to make the world happier by putting on a tiny coat, by living in a van down by the river, and most importantly going head to head with Patrick Swayze in a chippendale competition only to make strangers laugh is so so special. And it worked. Still working.

Take a few minutes for yourself today an watch this video. You’re not too busy to watch it, you’re not that angry at anything and what is the worst that can happen?? You smile for a few minutes instead of writing out another FB post complaining about blah blah or even blah blah blah. Hey I got plenty to be upset about this AM, but why. Why would I allow the negative side of things run my life and most importantly my attitude about life?? Bad things happen sometimes that we can’t stop or control. You can control your attitude and the way you respond to everything. I promise you I will always pick how I respond to the events in my life. It doesn’t matter what you did yesterday or having been doing the last 30 or 40 years. Starting today right now you can decide to just let the BS go, watch a few minutes of a legend making us laugh, and have a great day. Remember everyone has a reason to be ticked off, but the true tough guy/gals look for a reason to be happy. You always get back what you’re putting out so if you want smiles you had better find a way to get one on your face.

I want to be very clear on one issue though. I don’t want or need any sympathy. I struggle internally whether to share some of these intimate hard details of my life and the complications that come with my disability. I hate the word disabled for the record. A lot. I mentioned earlier that I was going to be honest and soiling myself is something that happened. I dealt with it and moved on. I know I harp on this let things go and that is for a reason. It works. I truly hope that my openness will help at least one person say “I’m done too. I’m not dragging the BS I can’t control around with me anymore.”

Here is what I concentrate on. I made it to my meeting, the cinnamon rolls turned out amazing and people liked them very much. Everyone is on a diet, but the people brave enough to try a 6,000 calorie roll were very happy. I sold some products today making some money, I have a gorgeous awesome dog I’m about to take for a very long walk, and I’m alive.

My problems aren’t bigger than yours or more important. They are mine and I choose to deal with them by not letting it screw my life/day up. So whatever it is let it go. Right now. Never look back at it.

I appreciate you all and please be kind to one another. You never know how problematic someone’s life is. Oh and when in doubt or down please go watch a Chris Farley video.

FknBucky