Posts Tagged ‘ice cream

18
May
25

GOD’S IN CHARGE

Go back and read Ice Cream Satan first. If you dare….

Been a few days. The whole parking thing really got to me. I don’t expect most of you to truly understand, but it becomes psychological warfare at times over those damn blue man spots. I’ve spent $1,500 in fines a towing fees since moving to Charlotte for parking in handicap spots and forgetting to put up a placard, having to swap my plate, or whatever other reason. Once my placard was only sitting on my dash, it snowed (usually happens 1 time a year here), covered the bottom of my windshield, and my car was towed costing me $300. The placard was clearly visible when I went to pick up the car because the snow had blown off the windshield during the drive.

I let it go yesterday and decided to move on. I gave those greedy pricks $180 of my hard earned money and closed the chapter on hating tow people. Not the book because I’m confident no matter how hard I try to never have an issue, I will slip up and they will be there to nail my ass to the cross. Never fails. In order to ensure I don’t get booted again I had to fast track my parking placards which meant I had to drive to my doctors office and wait for 2 hours for her to sign a form. The only way she would sign it is if I promised to come back the next day for an official visit. So stupid, I agreed.

I went back Friday morning for the appointment. The first question was “What brought me in to see the doctor?” Sometimes I want to punch the world. After this intellectually exhausting talk I took Annie to a patch of grass we always play on when I go to this office. The last few years have had me at the doctor office a lot as some of you know. After playing for a bit I of course had to pick up after Annie which I always try to do, but someone else isn’t so great at picking up after their dog. I rolled thru their poo to pick up Annie’s poo. I truly don’t understand the universe sometimes and yes there is a bigger point to all this so hold on and be amazed.

A friend of mine that has a non-profit asked if I would speak at his fundraiser Friday night about volunteering and staying positive. Perfect timing right. I gave the talk, but forgot to turn the sound on so the FB live video was pointless although it did show me that all my dieting has been paying off. I’m clearly MUCH lighter in that video. In fact I was amazed by it. So much so that today when ordering groceries I ordered Ice Cream. I thought Eff this week, I deserve it, and got my two favorite flavors. Bryers Mint Chip and BJ – Half Baked. Both are delicious and I haven’t had sugar since Easter so why not cheat a bit.

Well God has a different plan. Say what you will, but there is real purpose going on here. I’m meant to do this darn pull up and learn from all this hardship. Maybe I’m being tested to get thru problems without grabbing a crutch. I hit submit on the order and then dozed off in my recliner while watching tv. I woke up to Annie barking at the door. Ugh I thought. I had to wake up from nap time and get the groceries inside. Can’t let the ice cream melt..

I brought all the bags in and thought “Hmmm where is the ice cream.” There was none. Both flavors I asked for were out of stock and the delivery company refunded my money instead of getting a replacement. I’m in awe of the situation actually. It never happens this way. All the fruit, veggies, chicken, and healthy crap I ordered came thru just fine. Only the sugar was canceled by Big Bang Theory. I took a screenshot of my phone once I double checked what happened.

I will end with this. Humanity failed me this week. I was let down by people I care about, people I don’t like very much, and people I’ll never meet. The common theme is people. They pushed me to a breaking point and I’m not proud of that, but it is reality. I also know I’m not alone and that all of you have been there and will be again someday. I say this to myself and you. God is in control. He has a plan. I will reach this goal and the others I’ve set for myself. When I am doing the pull up it will be because God’s hand is lifting me.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

05
May
25

No Twix for the win

Monday morning. Welcome back to reality. Hopefully the hangover isn’t too strong today and if it is, I hope it was well worth it. I’ve had plenty of hard Monday mornings back in the day and yeah they were worth it. Ha. I’m waking up in a hotel this AM and decided to write a blog instead of working out. Is that the best use of your time Bucky? Great question and normally I would say NO, but today there is a message I want to share ASAP.

I’ve been blogging about my journey to do a pull up. To achieve this goal I have to lose weight and get stronger at the same time. Only way to get there is to make better choices and some real sacrifices in my daily life. Very easy to say, extremely hard to start implementing, and dang the world is stacked against making these changes. I spent time with family last night telling stories and explaining to all of them for the 17,394th time about why I’m the most awesome human ever to live. I can assure you they never get tired of hearing about how great I am….

I kept this goal of mine a secret to the world for the first few months and only recently decided to share it with all of you. It is scary to open up in such a way and expose myself to a level of criticism that isn’t necessary, but I’ve found it to be a useful tool. Holding ourselves accountable can and will make you a better person forcing you to stay on task even when nobody is watching. How Bucky?? Stop asking so many questions and just pay attention.

I read my blogs over and over after I write them. Many times wondering what kind of an idiot actually reads this, but then I look in the mirror and say “Oh yeah”. I understand there are millions of people just like me that want to be better, work at it, and yet still struggle because the world fights us every step of the way. I cut out the candy again after Easter with a renewed vigor to reach my goal and have been solid. In a blog the other day I talked about Ice Cream and its powerful grip on my brain. I freaking love that stuff, but it isn’t helpful right now so it has to take a back seat.

When I stay in hotels I’m used to getting a snack from the gift shop by the check in counter. I’m a titanium member of Marriott and that means they love my fat ass. While they make my keys I roll into candy land and ask if I can grab something, and 99.99% of the time they say take whatever you want. Ha. It isn’t stealing because you get a free gift at check in, but I like to do it stealthily so I feel dangerous. An hour before last nights check-in I was telling my Mom, sister, and nephew about how great I’m doing and how diet is really the key to everything. By the incredible looks on their faces I could tell they heard blah BLAh blah blah blah blah, blah, blah, and blah blah.

Me and my big mouth. I stole a Twix. I knew better, but there it was all free and free. I could have taken a free nothing, but nope I wanted that Twix. I put it in my pocket, thanked Eli (front desk guy), and rolled my happy hypocrite ass down the hallway to my room. I planned to unwrap that chocolate, caramel coated cookie and bask in its sugary yumminess, but……. This darn blog. I read Ice Cream Satan and the line of “nobody will know, but I will” stuck out to me. If I ate that Twix, I would know. Sounds stupid, but it is true. What is more important to my life???

Was I prepared to give up my goal for a stupid candy bar?? Just throw in the towel and be done with it all?? Of course I was and that was the best Twix I ever had!!! ha. Just kidding. I didn’t eat the freaking thing. I’m proud of myself this morning and I know I have a new future ahead of me that involves a pull up. Now you understand why this blog is more important than a work out. I will go back and read this when I need a reminder because I will need one. I’ll probably need to be reminded before lunch today, but the point is I’ll seek it out and stay on target. I didn’t quit after I got paralyzed and I’m not going to quit now. Neither should you.

I want to stress this last point. I’m just a guy that has made every wrong decision a person can make. I had to learn the hard way over and over and over again. I know I am special, but so are you. I simply refuse to give up and will try and try and try until the final curtain call. Right now the biggest try is to try and NOT eat this darn Twix. 🙂

FknBucky

If you don’t subscribe to my blog I ask that you do. You have to join WordPress.com to do so, but it does help me. I’m also in the process of making new shirts and SWEATSHIRTS!

30
Apr
25

Ice Cream Satan

Ice cream. I love it. So much. Ben and Jerry’s half baked. Phish food. Hagen Daaz. Bryers Mint chip. Give me some more. I have had the largest cravings for the last couple hours and kept thinking “You’ve been doing so good lately, you deserve a reward…”. Nobody will fault you if you just have a little bite to give you a quick boost…. I say to that “BULLSTUFF!”

I made a goal to do a pull up. I’m going to do that damn pull up even if it kills me. I’d rather die trying to reach that goal than live with a belly full of Caramel Cone.. Okay that is lie. Caramel Cone is eff’ing delicious, but not today Ice Cream Satan.

This is a short blog because I have to run to the store and buy ice cream. Just kidding I don’t run anywhere dummy. Look I’ve made a promise to myself a few months back and I’m not going to let myself down. No one but me would know if I cheated, but I’m the only one that matters in this equation.

The point of this short memo is to let all of you know that I’m out here suffering as well. A good kind of suffer. When I wake up tomorrow I’ll know I powered thru the craving, I’m still firmly on the path to glory, and that will give me the confidence to do another day. You can do whatever it is. Don’t let that stupid ice cream satan voice in your head talk you into deviating from the journey. Success is waiting for you and I to show up. 🙂

There is power in numbers. Comment if you’re with me.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

27
Feb
25

Mmm Cupcake

I am on a journey. I wrote about being obligated to myself instead of feeling motivated. I am passionate about it and not going to stop for anyone or anything. I work out daily and have been doing so for a few months now. I have stopped eating sugar because it is counterproductive and doesn’t help me reach my goal of losing 100 lbs. Yeah I let it go that far. When I was weighed in for my last cripple fight that will be shown on YouTube, I was 270 lbs. Obviously I’m kidding, it was only 267.

I won that fight, but lost a kidney in the process. I won because I’m still alive. In May 2024 I was on a ventilator in ICU for 3 days. Now I’m down 70 lbs with 30 more to go. The hard 30. I won’t be denied. I was always thinking “this is so hard, I don’t want to cut sugar, I need ice cream to be happy..”, but it was all BS inside my head. I had a long conversation with myself that went like this.

Bucky, you overcame the hardest thing in the world. You went on with life after being paralyzed. No one did that for me. Quite the opposite actually. Many people looked at me like I was already dead and their eyes said “if that was me, I’d kill myself”. Don’t think I never noticed. Ready for the point. I’m not those people. I’m exceptional. I’m stronger than you, them, everyone. I don’t care about your opinion or your false sympathy. Want to make my life better?? Donate your next paycheck to a cure for spinal cord injuries.

If any of that offends you, then it is you I’m talking about. Those people that truly care about me, knelt next to me, and saw the same looks. Back on topic. I did that, but I can’t stop eating sugar for a few months to get my weight down?? Stupid. I will reach this goal and I truly hope some of you join me for the trip. Not only will we reach one goal, but the strength and confidence we gain along the way will be truly priceless. Remember the goal is simply the cherry on top, the journey is the cupcake.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE




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