July | FknBucky

What do we do when the mood is less than great?? When we don’t have a perfect photo to put up on IG or X?? When our friends are doing something cooler than we are??? When our health is hurting and it affects the happiness we wish we could find for the day?? The world tells us to make lemonade. We are told to suck it up and get back out there. FknBucky writes often about finding ways to make other people smile because that smile will come back. Today Bucky says sometimes you have to embrace the dark.

I’m not telling anyone to embrace depression and stay there. That is a very bad idea, but sometimes you have to experience the dark to remember how much you love being in the light. Nobody is “UP” all of the time, no matter how much cocaine you do. Just ask Elmo. My kidney was so infected it killed me the first week of May. I’m used to almost dying so I don’t have the “I’m going to live like no tomorrow BS” anymore and truthfully always have, but it is a good reminder to keep chasing my goals. I had that jerk kidney taken out a couple weeks ago. I was so hopeful for sunny skies and to be back after it again that I had a list of things to get after. Instead life kicked me in the nuts and the face just in case I didn’t get the message. I discovered a pressure sore on my butt.

My happiness deflated instantly. My family all had great plans for this weekend, but not me. I’m still healing from the kidney surgery with literal open wounds and now this pressure sore. I don’t want to say I was in “poor me” area, but more of an “Eff everyone else” area. My phone went to VM (I don’t listen to them FYI) and I had a couple pissed off days. I needed to accept this in my mind, formulate a plan to fix my problems, and then come out with a true I will over come this attitude. I will get this to heal and accepted my role in allowing it to happen. We all have to understand that spending some time in the darkness even on 4th of July weekend if needed be isn’t a bad thing.

This isn’t an easy thing to share, but I promised to be honest with everyone that reads this. I don’t share to hear the comments of “you can do it, you got this, or the stay strong”….. While those are not bad and needed sometimes, I’d rather hear/see “me too Bucky, I understand this, and glad I’m not alone” so that others can feel safe embracing the dark, but remember to not get lost there. You must come back out into the light and trust me you will feel stronger and refreshed. Being depressed/angry at hard times is natural, but those feelings will never solve the hard times. For that you need positivity, strength, and loved ones around you.

FknBucky

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There will be a part 2 tomorrow. Trying to keep the blogs shorter.

Remember to share this for others that might need to hear it.

Look at the pretty lights Bucky and ignore the chaos around you. It worked last night for a while. I meant every word in that blog yesterday. Some days are harder than others to ”Be Present” and blam today happened. I can’t explain why life works out this way, but I can share it with you so you understand you’re not alone. Or maybe I’m hoping one of you will share a story with me so I don’t feel alone. Facebook, Instagram, Tic Tok, Paddy whack, give a dog a bone is all BS. Nobody is happy all the time and most of the photos you see from “influencers” are fake. They use your ”like” exactly the same as a politician uses your vote. To better their portfolios, enrich themselves, and once they have it they move on to the next forgetting you exist. You are now number 183,085 and nothing else.

I got sidetracked there. I got back from my magic walk last night and made a massive bowl of dip. It is my new thing. I found a recipe online to get me started and I’ve been using different things to make it my own. If you’ve ever had the pleasure to eat something I cooked you know I don’t mess around. Everything is fresh and from scratch. The Apple Pie that started this, the blueberry cheesecake, chicken tortilla soup, beef stroganoff, tator tot casserole, and don’t forget the cinnamon rolls! I use sour cream, plain yogurt, jalapeños, spinach, green onions, cucumbers, and strawberries in this masterpiece. Everything fresh and blended together with a bunch of seasonings. I’m happy to share if you want to be the coolest person at your 4th of July party. Well 2nd coolest. Everyone knows the guy or gal that shoot a bottle rocket from their butt crack is the coolest person on Earth. If you serve veggies with homemade dip while shooting a bottle rocket out of your butt is guaranteed to make you a LEGEND. Ask my brother Jer about being a LEGEND, but NEVER give him bottle rockets or a lighter.

Morning time. Always a challenge with the leg spasms. Some days they are crazier than others, but it is 100% going to be the first thing I deal with every morning. Just think if 3/4’s of your body decided to cramp at the same moment. It is violent, painful, and usually results in me falling over backwards or sideways. If I’m ”lucky” I will be able to grab a table, bed, sofa, or anything to prevent the paralyzed backflip I’m trying to do. Maybe I could do the ParaOlympics… FknBucky takes the gold in the flip over backwards to smash the back of your head onto the concrete floor. Concrete is not soft if you aren’t sure. This morning I was saved by the night stand next to my bed as it prevented the chair from going all the way over.

I now know it is going to be like that today. I get dressed and cruise out to the kitchen so I can try this awesome dip I made yesterday evening. I take GREAT CARE with the bowl of dip on my lap because of the spasms. I currently have a work bench set up in my living room because I can. I put the dip on said workbench and start looking at some emails while I’m crushing some celery and dip. It is fantastic. I’m super stoked on my awesome culinary skills. BLAM spasm. My elbow goes straight into the bowl of dip. Right in the center of it. I’m going down and grab at anything I can to stop that from happening. Everything but me falls. 3 seconds ago I was patting myself on how great the dip turned out. Now I’m wearing half of it and see the other half all over my floor. It took me a good amount of time to make that dip and now it is gone.

Anger is an emotion and in this case it can be a verb. I was sad as well. All that work. All the money spent. All the time I spent. All of it on my floor. No five second rule here. Just a massive mess that needs to be cleaned up. As you can guess leaning all the way over cleaning up dip is not the easiest task a person can do. Very frustrating. You might be asking ”What is the point here Bucky??”

There isn’t one. What is the reason my hard work is on the floor?? Sometimes life is a real jerk. Nothing you can do about that. What you can do is control your attitude and your reaction to moments like this. I could have handled it better today, but I was mad. Being mad was wasted energy though. It did nothing to better my situation as I threw something that knocked over my Grapefruit flavored Celsius. Now my remote, phone, and some paperwork is soaking wet because I threw a tantrum. Pretty stupid.

I got more ingredients today. I’ll make more. Just like yesterday I need to remember the blessings. I have a great career and own my own company, I have amazing friends, my family loves me (well most of them), I have an amazing fur friend, and most importantly I wake up everyday being FknBucky. I write and share these moments for 2 reasons. First – I want it out of my head. Once I write about a situation I can stop thinking about it. Secondly – I hope that people that read this will drop the anchors of negativity they drag around, realize crap happens to everyone, and learn to tackle their problems with a smile.

FknBucky

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Our brother Ryan Cooper is still waiting for justice. Please never stop saying his name and asking who did this?? We will learn what happened and hold that person accountable.

FknBucky

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