Posts Tagged ‘laugh

14
Jun
24

NO OFFENSE

Okay no women jokes today. Just keeping it clean for all 729 genders today because FknBucky doesn’t want to offend anyone. No making fun of your race, face, the space you take, or any other things that would be an ace. No jokes abut who you sleep with. No jokes about myself, my family, my friends, or anyone else that will laugh cause I’m funny.

FknBucky

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Share this blog and remind people to stop being so angry at everything. Life is short friends. Smile.

FOR REAL PART: Worst blog ever. Stop being so damn uptight. Laughing at ourselves is what GOD and BIG BANG THEORY intended. Pick one thing in your life TODAY that is bothering you and laugh at it. Tell a friend about it and then laugh. You will feel a freedom that truly will change your life.

P.S. More of the hospital story coming tomorrow. Been a busy week. I gotta work as writing don’t pay my friends!!

27
May
24

meet FKNBucky

I am ALIVE!!! This is true.

I am blessed. This is also true.

More truth for you. I have been in the hospital since April 30thish, 2024…… I went down for the big count. Around May 5th I ran out of air. I was no longer able to breathe. I was told for days by hospital staff that I was simply having a panic attacks. I do a lot of things. I curse to much. I call stupid lazy people stupid and lazy to their face. I love my family/friends. I make very inappropriate jokes/comments. I laugh at racist jokes. Mostly after I say them.

What I don’t do is panic. Ever.

I’ve had a bad kidney for over 6 years. I’ve had some other health issues for a lot longer. I’ve been trying to get these problems identified and handled and have tried for a very long time. Why don’t I tell you??? Cause you got your own BS to handle. I mean that in a positive light. I never planned for this to blow up so big and become such a hard thing to deal with. I had no strength, energy, and it sucked. I had no phone calls, emails, and couldn’t take of Annie. Some of the hardest and darkest days off my life. No doubt.

Slight side note, but relevant:

I am comfortable with violence. I think a punch in the mouth is needed sometimes. Given and received depending on what time you started day drinking. Day drinking with a side of violence. I love Wisconsin so much…. And IA, and NY, and AL, GA, NC, SC, KY, NJ, and a former CO resident named Nate from NJ, Dave Dean, and many others . When I fell out/died at the hospital for almost 3 days last week they forgot to move my left arm. Now it is numb and don’t work. Being a quad is HARD. I have so much more respect for those who face that challenge everyday.

It is Slllllloooooooowwwwly coming back. I feel like I should be able to punch the person responsible in their face without jail time. My left arm/hand is dominant although I am ambidextrous, but both arms are equal when attempting to push a wheelchair in a straight line. My logic is I should get to dot Billy’s “move the arm guy” eye so he sees fuzzy out his left eye while I’m stuck rolling in circles….. What if Billy is a girl Bucky??? Duh. I do the right thing and use gender neutral violence obviously throwing the headbutt. I’m not stupid. I am funny however and you love my genuine ass.

Now that I can use a phone again I have a lot of blogs to write. You will enjoy them. I’m sorry many of you had no idea how sick I was. I couldn’t type and it happened fast. PLEASE follow this blog and the podcast. Future info will come thru here and the podcast. I have a large family and SSOOO many amazing friends from all over the world. You are the reason I never stop fighting for my life or my right to say messed up things to make people laugh. This experience will be shared fully and I’m hoping to write blogs daily, but I also have a ton of therapy and life to catch up on.

I love you all. Truly. My family. My friends. My colleague’s who are both. Without you all there is no Allen, no nBucky, no FknBucky, no fight, no stories, and I owe all of you my life. Thank you.

FknBucky

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26
Nov
22

Can you be trusted??

Saturday. I was up at 3:30 again last night. Not sure what that is all about, but I didn’t write. I watched “Kings of Pain” on one of my apps where they get stung by a centipede from Asian forest. That might be the grossest thing I’ve ever seen.

I can “man up” when needed to kill a spider, creepy, gross, and crawly thing, but deep down I hate them. Many a time in my life I’ve had to grab a spider with my bare hand and without a doubt every single time I was secretly wishing someone else would do it. In Cali when Alex lived with me, she screamed “spider”, and pointed at her bed when I rolled in there. Sure enough a big black jerk face spider was hauling butt across her blanket. There was no time to ponder what to do. If I lost sight of it there was a good chance I’d never find it and no one wants to sleep in spider bed. I just reached out, grabbed it, and killed it instantly by smushing it in my hand. I was a hero. I went into my room, did the “Willies” shake, and thought about how much that sucked.

Go back and read “EAT YOUR BEANS” part 1 and 2. Then make your sons read it. Everyday.

I had a message I wanted to get into on this blog, but not sure I want to just yet. Life has been difficult as usual lately. The ever easy days that I had in my twenties aren’t around anymore. Waking up next to a beautiful woman on a Saturday morning, who I would offer a ride home if she remembered my name, but didn’t reveal the fact that I didn’t own a car. The ride home was the Summit Stage. Man I was awesome. Dimples are amazing. I would just smile as I explained how to walk to the bus stop and Friday night hook-up would laugh at my cuteness…. I’d have a quick puff puff, head to the hill, and snowboard all day with my friends that would most definitely be there. We didn’t have cell phones, didn’t bother making plans, and just knew where my crew would be at. Great days.

I just thought about being 19 in Iowa. I had a great friend (still a great friend) that I hung out with every day. Back in those days we always had a cooler in the trunk filled with ice cold Busch Light. I don’t recommend drinking and driving so be sure to chug as much as you can while stopped at a stoplight or stop sign. Safety first. Can you imagine the agony of hitting a pothole and spilling your beverage. Take no chances my friends. Obviously I’m kidding. There are no stoplights on gravel roads. Shoot, got distracted there, okay now back on message. This friend and I would pick one another up daily. I would grab a drink from the cooler, always grabbed an extra one for my brother, put it in a coozie, and then set it under the passenger seat. When he got in the car without question he would reach under the seat and grab his can of thirst quenching super nectar. It was always there. When is the last time you had 1,000% faith a fellow human would have your back???

I haven’t thought about that in a long time. Pretty cool though. Okay, now it is time for me to explain how my story will give you something positive to think about today. Life is not about accumulating possessions. Many people don’t understand that. They just want “more” all the time. More money, more cars, more houses, more more more. Then they can show it off to you in an attempt to prove to you how important and great they are. I saw a interview with the artist PitBull talking about his 17 super cars. I’m not impressed. Just because you are financially successful in life does not automatically mean you are a successful human. You might have to read that sentence a couple times.

A successful life in my opinion is measured by relationships. Not Friday night hook-ups, but the true relationships you cultivate throughout your time on Earth. How many people completely trust you to follow thru every single time?? You can’t buy trust. You can’t borrow it. You can’t beg for it. You have to earn it EVERY single day. It isn’t a “when I’m in the mood” thing or “I’ll do it next week” kind of thing. Can you be trusted to kill the spider?? Can you be trusted to remember your friend when grabbing yourself a cold drink from the trunk?? Those are little silly things Bucky.

You are 100% correct. They are little seemingly trivial things, but how can I trust you with big things when you haven’t put the time in gaining my trust doing the little things. Yeah that is big deal. Spend your time on Planet Earth (a very short time in the big picture) acquiring trust not stuff. A new car is not as important as a friend KNOWING without fail you will show up in that new car to give them a ride to the airport at 4:30 AM.

This blog is so far away from what I planned to write. Not a problem as I simply type what my brain is saying. Be a person of value and not just a person that has valuable stuff.

Love Who You Are Today, Tomorrow is not Guaranteed.

FknBucky

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Get your FknBucky shirts for X-mas presents. Great for the whole family!!

06
Mar
21

Royals

Another crazy week ending today. I kept my fat ass upright for most of it so that is a win in my book. I’m sure many of you have been glued to the TV, Websites, and every other news source following the historic events going on. There is no neutral ground you have to be on one side or the other. When things this serious are going on it is important we include the children so they can learn how to take sides and hate everyone that doesn’t agree with them. What is the point of having kids if you can’t brainwash them to think exactly like you?? I am too smart to pass on wisdom so I had to make the hard choice to not have children. That and the girls that told me they were having Bucky’s baby also screamed ”I’m carrying the son of Damien” (Gwen year 2000), Son of Satan (1998), and who can forget “This child is going to grow up and be an asshole just like you!!” I’m actually pretty proud of that last one. You know as Satan I only make babies, not take care of them. Wow that escalated quickly. Even for me.

Taking sides. That is what I was talking about. I’m not talking the JV bull crap, but the real game. The Royals. Are you on Meghan and Harry’s side or the other ones. I don’t know their names cause I don’t care, but there is Queen never gonna die, guy who divorced Diana marking him as forever Jerk, The bald son (Not the Ginger one), and Kate Middleton (of course I know her name she is hot. Idiot) who has the insane hot sister named Pippa. I will always takes Pippa’s side. If she comes out saying we need to start eating children I will be like how you like yours?? Medium Rare?? I got you baby. Think I’m joking. Need a babysitter?? Nothing like fresh off the grill children burgers. Damn I didn’t know I could escalate further! I’m not even writing a third paragraph. I’m scared of myself at this point.

Skipping this one.

Okay 4th paragraph. Hopefully I can stop being crazy now. I will tell you what I think. That Meghan Markle chick is evil. She got her nasty claws into Prince Harry and now he is screwed. I’m sorry, but if you are going to marry a woman she should get along with the rest of your family. Or at least some of it. For crying out loud she should be liked by at least one person in your eff’ing life. I’ve seen it before. Friends that get so wrapped up in a relationship for a gazillion wrong reasons and they can’t see past their own dumbass to get out. Some of them eventually saw the light and others I still don’t get to talk to. I never married mostly because I didn’t want to ruin some nice young ladies life.

Dang it so off topic. That girl is awful. As someone that has been called the Devil on more than one occasion I can see that this chick is the real deal. She is a bitch. Sorry ladies, but there is no other way to describe her. I honestly hope Harry gets out of that somehow, but it seems he is in too deep now. When your wife makes it so you can’t have a relationship with your only brother that is a problem. They are royals. The biggest waste of time and money on the planet. It only averages about 500 million a year. Why anyone gives a crap what these people do is beyond me. Tell them to get a real job and spend the hundreds of millions on homeless people or children. Fatten them little kids up…..

Why are Harry and Meghan running around trying to get paid for stuff??? Do royals even pick up the tab??? Why do think they just take whatever they want a weird group of people rush in later to handle the bill. Does Prince Harry forget his pin code??? CBS paid them 7 million for the interview that I will never watch. That figure was in the title of an article that I did not read. Nor will I. I don’t care at all except to have a blog topic to hopefully make a couple of you laugh. That and I have been trying to find a way to use the term Child Burger for a couple weeks now. It isn’t as easy as one might think…..

That brings us to the ending. Some quick bullet points to remember. Meghan is a Bitch. Harry is a Ginger that is a sucker for a bad girl. The Queen is a vampire and will never die. She is actually quite amazing and if you read (more than this crap blog) books you should read one about her life. Amazing. Will and Kate got it made. They just have to do nothing insane and the whole world will look at them as the normal nice couple. This Meghan woman married into the biggest megaphone on the planet. Take up a cause that is not all about YOU! Nope, she is on the ME ME ME highway with no exits coming for a long time. Hopefully she runs out of gas stranded on a deserted island (yes I know how stupid that sounds) and we can forget all about her. Harry should not go on road trips with Meghan for a while. Oh and Pippa…. Call me.

So Pick a side and take notice how disgusting a person looks making everything about themselves. Be smart, be kind, and be a constant warrior for helping others. Your life will become better overnight and you’ll start having these weird feelings of being proud of yourself.

Be Kind to others simply because of the feeling you get doing so.

FknBucky

Disclosure **No woman has actually been pregnant with my baby to my knowledge.**

25
Jul
17

From Target with Love

kristen-wiig-target-lady

 

Let me be the first to say that my sister has done an amazing job with her two boys.  I absolutely loved having them come visit. That goes for all of my nieces and nephews.  Very proud of all 137 of them.  Or something like that. You would think my brothers and sisters would find a new hobby…

 

I told you the other day I would relay a couple of fun stories that happened while the nephews were here in the QC.  This would be one of those, at least I find it funny so I hope it gives you a smile today as well.

 

The boys and I had to swing by our local Target store to pick up some ping pong balls. I mean what is a trip to visit Uncle Bucky without learning the art of beer pong??  Don’t worry I made sure no one was looking when they did the drinking. I’m not an idiot.  We walk into Target and I needed to use the gender-neutral restroom. No one will ever know what I’m packing….  The boys stay outside with Murphy (my service dog) and hang out.

 

I come out of the restroom and an eloquently dressed lady looks at me and says, “Those are two fine young men you have there.”

 

I said, “Thank you”

 

Now we walk into the store area and need to cross in front of all the registers.  You know where the most people are gathered and I would certainly estimate at least 30 of them including our new nicely dressed friend.  I’m in front of the boys and rolling along nicely with Murphy still thinking “hmm they really are good kids” when I hear it. The younger one lets out a grunt that only men can distinguish immediately.  I stop and turn around already knowing what I’m going to see.

 

There is bean boy on his knees holding his God given bean bag with a red face going “Ugggg.”  Next to him is his brother with that look on his face.  You know the one you make at 2:30 AM when you pop out of your blackout and everyone is staring at you.  Okay maybe you don’t know, but it is a “what I’d do face times 1,000”!  He doesn’t get the blackout excuse yet though because we hadn’t even started beer pong!

 

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My immediate reaction was WHY??  Thru gritted teeth I’m expressing my extreme appreciation of the situation with selected words and of course the eyes that say all.  Everyone is staring and my two fine boys are now a couple of ball punchers.  Only took a matter of seconds to change that around.  While on the floor as I’m letting blackout boy know he is going to die later, bean boy looks up and says “It’s okay Uncle Bucky.  He owed me!”

 

Time and place boys.  Time and place.

 

I’m sure those of you that have young boys have similar stories.  Just had to share this one.  Remember sometimes the punch in the nads you receive is simply payback.

 

Enjoy your day.

FknBucky




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