Posts Tagged ‘lesson

09
Jan
25

A happy plus

By Bucktown 1 Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
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Hello my literate friends. I’ve got the anger right now so I decided to write, but it might not be what you think so please read to the end. I wanted to write a message about Christmas, then New Year’s, and now I realize we are already past one week into 2025. These days fly by without us paying attention. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and then year after year slip by. I’m 46 now. I’m a plus. What is a plus Bucky?? I’ll tell you. Recently I was on Amazon or something and a chart came up. It asked my age. Here are the choices.

18-25, 25-35, 35-45, 45+

I thought WTF when I had to check the plus box. I can deal with the gray hairs, the aches and pains in the AM, the loss of people I love, but marking that box hit me pretty hard. I thought about my goals, my life, my decisions, and all of the moments I could have done differently. Then I got drunk and texted ex-girlfriends until 4 AM. Just kidding. I’m old and only text until Matlock comes on at 9 pm.

The truth is we can’t change the past. Ever. We can learn from our mistakes and try very hard to not repeat them. That is it. No more. I like to read from a book call ZEN FLESH ZEN BONES and I highly recommend everyone on planet EARTH read it as well. There is a story in it about two monks walking down a road in a downpour. They come across a very beautiful young woman walking in a silk kimono that needs to get across a muddy section. One of the monks simply walked over to her, picked her up, carried her across the mud so that she would keep her clothes clean, and then put her down.

The two monks continued on their way without saying a word. Many hours later as they lay down to sleep the monk that didn’t carry the woman finally had to say something. All day he thought about how his friend had touched a woman when they had sworn to NOT do that very thing. He said “Friend, how could you carry that woman knowing our vows??

As he rolled over to fall asleep the other monk replied “I set her down on the side of the road, but it seems you have been carrying her all day.”

How much do you carry around all day?? How much of it is from other peoples actions that have nothing to do with you??? Imagine if you could learn to leave it at the side of the road. We should always be students, learning to be better at life, enabling us to become teachers to the next generation. If you agree with that statement what lessons do you want to teach?? I would like the people around me to become better than I am, to be smarter than I am, more patient than I am, and hopefully more prosperous than I am in all aspects of life.

I will now tell you why I was angry. My van had an oil leak. I’m told it is common with my model of vehicle and it is going to cost me about $1,000. I pay CarShield $89 a month to cover repairs that come up, but now for the second time in 5 years they denied to pay anything. Had I simply put the $89 a month I pay CarShield into an account I would still have $3,193 AFTER I paid for the repairs needed.

Instead I’ve paid them $5,340, paid auto repair workers $2,147, and have the same result. I’ve cancelled my policy with them this morning and just set up an auto pay out of my account into a new “auto” savings account. Lesson learned. This was an expensive one, but I promised myself not to carry it around with me all day. I’m going to leave it here. It isn’t going to hurt CarShield if I run around town telling everyone how horrible of a day I’m having because of this event. Nope.

I’m going to tell everyone I’m doing great. I caught the leak early before any serious damage was done. AWE AUTO in Traer, IA was able to get my van fixed in a very reasonable amount of time and for a very fair price. Live is good. I have an amazing family, a ton of awesome friends, an amazing furry best friend, a business of my own, my health is great, and on and on and on. So this PLUS is going to smile today, tomorrow, and for the rest of the year. I hope you find reasons to smile with me.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

P.S. I hope you share this with others if you feel the message is helpful. One moment at a time we can make the world a better place.

03
Jan
23

Perfectly Imperfect

By Bucktown 1 Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
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Brand new year. Clean slate. What will you do differently this year??? Maybe 2023 is the year you actually stick to your resolutions. I have some big goals for this year and I’m very excited to chase them. My days are not unlimited and if I want to leave a positive mark on the world, I can’t be screwing around. I’m proud of the time I spend with young people and the lessons I’m able to teach them along the way. My niece is my latest victim, but she gives the right answer when I ask her how much “whiny voice” helped her get something done. She instantly replies “zero”. I’m old now. Not sure how 44 got here so fast. Not sure how 20+ years after that motorcycle accident got here, but here I am. I accepted my fate a long time ago while having a conversation with a mirror in Craig Hospital. It was just me and my reflection having the most powerful conversation of my life that no one else will ever understand.

Life is about accepting things that are so that you can be prepared to change the future. Read that one again. With all the wisdom I have acquired in my life, I still get reminded of that on a daily basis. I’m a student. Always. I want to learn everything, but there isn’t enough time. I wish I knew 20 languages. A hundred of them. I don’t. I barely speak English, I need to fix that, but I’m lazy in that department. Anyway lets not get bogged down there. If the opportunity is there, take the time to learn another language. I find teachers everywhere in life mostly because I’m willing to listen. I’m a great talker. One of the best in my opinion. I think before I speak and carefully use the words and phrases that will benefit me as the conversation goes forward. Sometimes I know what people will say because I led them there the whole time. I’m a conversation magician. That is enough insider info for you today.

What happens when I’m talking with a person that is 8 yrs old?? Complete chaos. I can’t predict what they will say. They haven’t been fully trained yet to fear change and still have the ability to say what they are thinking without fear of being canceled. I find it incredibly refreshing. Hmmm typing this out makes sense to me, and this is probably why I enjoy talking with kids. I can’t manipulate them or control the words they will say because they are still a true clean slate. Adults are like a chalkboard. You grab an eraser and move it back and forth until the original message is unreadable, but the chalk still remains. It never fully goes away meaning no matter how hard you try the past is always seeping into your present effecting the decisions you make concerning your future. Freedom is understanding that and overcoming it. To be free of your past mistakes takes work, but it is worth the trouble. Accept it. Learn the wisdom. Let it go.

I can’t stand half ass. To me don’t even start if you aren’t giving 110%. Perfection is what I strive for every time. That is why many blogs never get published. My name is on them. No chance I’m putting crap out there. My physical challenges are many these days. A few times a year I spend a Saturday with college kids learning to be Occupational Therapists. I do this because a friend of mine who I respect greatly asked me and I’m a sucker for having a conversation with 21 ladies & the token 1 guy about my favorite subject. ME. They work on me diagnosing the obvious things and a few I make up along the way. I have issues with my elbows and shoulders which sucks, but while going thru this process I was asked a question. Does your work suffer because it takes longer??? I was kind of offended by it and replied a very hard “NO”. I looked her in the eye and said “I don’t care how long it takes, I’m not “half assing” anything ever. Instant respect from the whole table. They knew I meant that. Tackle every task in your life with that philosophy and watch your life improve overnight.

Back to my teacher. I watched her learn to ride a hoverboard after getting one for Christmas. She got a little braver and more confident as time went on until BAM!!! Niece down. Insert tears. Fear. Anger. I yelled instantly “Get back on it”. I heard “No”, but that was an unacceptable answer. She did get back on and two minutes later the fall was history, but the lesson it taught was the present allowing her to not make that same mistake again. Accept it happened, but only hold on to the wisdom, let the fear and anger go. I’m a hard-ass yelling get back on it, but inside I’m an old softie. We went to the store and bought wrist, elbow, knee pads, and a helmet the next morning along with some paint and sand paper. We had to customize the pads to be cool otherwise they suck. Best way to make something cool to a kid, let them create it. Mind blown, I know.

She told me what she wanted and I traced it out with a sharpie so she could paint it. She sucks at painting. Got more paint on me than the pad. I showed her how to only dip the tip of the brush in paint and then slowly trace the lines I made to make it look great. I asked if she understood, she said “yes”, and then I handed her the paint brush. She immediately dipped that sucker into paint up to her elbow and in record time of 2 seconds completely traced my lines in the worst way possible. My inside voice was screaming “WTF!!!” I looked at her and saw a face of pride. She loved it and was all smiles. She had sanded this knee pad down, picked out the design, and then did it. I had to remind myself she is 8, this isn’t the Mona Lisa, and most importantly it made her happy. It was so imperfect that it became perfect. JUST LIKE THE PERSON YOU ARE.

I decided to dip my brush into paint up to my elbow and join the fun. It was freedom to paint outside of the lines and LOVE the way it looked. I had just learned a massive life lesson from an eight year old girl that sucks at painting.

Happy New Year!

I can’t stress enough how much I appreciate everyone that reads these blogs and truly hope that some of my rantings will help ignite a fire in you to chase your dreams. I don’t want to arrive alone at the finish line, I want to bring everyone I interact with with me. Use your clean slate to accept that you’re Perfectly Imperfect.

Please share the blog. Maybe you didn’t need this message today, but a family member might. A co-worker struggling with their confidence might read this and begin thinking I can do it. Instead of posting a “I hate Trump or I hate Biden” meme today, share a positive message that just might change a life.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

16
Apr
21

Take a Moment

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
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I wrote most of this a couple days ago, but needed to think for a day or two before posting. Sometimes before you shoot your mouth off or your FB post off take a step back and think about the consequences your words might have.

Others. Funny word that means something or nothing depending on how you think about it. Who are the others?? Family members?? Friends? Co-Workers?? Maybe random people you happen to be on a city bus with. Or on an elevator. Unless you are the freaking Una-Bomber you are going to have other people around you a large part of your life. Do you think about them or keep your focus on yourself??? I try very hard to think about others in my life, but I come up short. Meaning I screw up and I’m completely oblivious to it until I’m called out. The moment I realize my wrong I usually sit back and think how in the heck did I let that happen???

It happened today, just now actually and I feel pretty crappy about it. I don’t need to get into the details as that doesn’t matter so much as the point or lesson. No matter how diligent we try to be about this and that sometimes we just screw up. It is human to do so. Letting down someone you care about is a complete crap feeling that I dislike a lot. This is why I try hard to not let it happen. When it does though don’t make excuses. Own your mistake and save the words for a blog. They only way to right the wrong is actions. Stay with me right here and read slow because this point is going to be important for the rest of your life.

Words, English, or Spanish are languages that you and others use to communicate. The words on their own don’t mean crap though. Words are easy. You can be a complete ass, simply say “I’m Sorry” when you get caught, and go about your life exactly the same. Apologies are for real remorse and I don’t respect people that throw them around. Here we go. I promised you a mind blowing moment and we are finally there. The only language that matters in life is “actions”. Your actions, the things you actually do, and the way you react to your mistake is an actual language and the only one I read. I simply don’t care what BS comes out your mouth as the only apology I need or care about is the one you make with your behavior. Be better when you make mistakes and save the “I’m sorry” for when you bump into someone in the check out line at Target.

I had to make that point. Now for our dog related post.

I had a long drive home today from the mountains. I’ve made this same drive a dozen times over the last few years so I know the route, but I still have Google Maps going to make sure I know the route and warn me of traffic problems. Today I was cruising along and the freeway split. I thought I’m supposed to go left, but the google map had me staying to the right. I trusted the app. Well the app was frozen and not doing a dang thing for me. I thought well I’ll just turn here and run back into the freeway. I had forgotten that driving in the mountains is no guarantee you will run into anything except more curvy roads to drive on. I am cursing my google map app at this point.

I tried the other map app on my phone and got zero result on that also. Now I’m just driving around some mountain town with no idea how to get back to stupid road I needed. I was getting more angry every second that went by. I finally pulled over, restarted my phone, and got a map app to come on. Of course I had Annabel with me and she was looking at me like “you’re an idiot”. I took a second to restart myself and realized she was very right. I had pulled over in a “park” type area in the middle of the mountains. It was 76 degrees outside and sunny. Here I am losing my mind cursing the road, the sun, Joe Biden, Laura Trump, Mr. T, the stop sign, stupid green car in front of me, the crap white car behind me, and well you get it. I curse a lot. I took a breath and stopped cursing.

I got out of the van with Annabel and rolled about 50 feet to a nice shady spot that had a tiny creek running thru it. It was actually pretty cool little spot. I started to throw the frisbee and all that anger started to leave me one throw at a time. It was almost like I could see the anger flying off the frisbee as it spun thru the air. Turns out that was slobber leaving the frisbee, but lets say it was the anger to make this life moment sound better. I had to honestly ask myself where was I in such a hurry to get to??

I took 45 minutes to get back on track, but I had a calm me and a very exercised puppy happily sleeping in the seat next to me. It was a beautiful day and now I’m home writing at 8 pm having accomplished all I needed to with time to spare. Someday I’ll learn to not let myself get all worked up in the first place, but until then I’ll have to keep a dog close to tell me I’m an idiot. I know this is dog week, but in my opinion playing frisbee with Annie to not be pissed at the world anymore is a great dog story. Plus it is my blog so I make the rules.

I’m trying to tie in the first part with the last part, but truth is I just feel bad I let a friend down and writing about things is how I process them. I guess you can look at both situations and realize neither would have happened if I had been more patient, paid better attention to details, and actually do what I talk/write about.

Have a great Friday. I appreciate you all very much.

FknBucky

23
Jul
17

Eat Your Beans

By Bucktown 2 Comments
Categories: learning and Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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I recently had the pleasure of hosting my two nephews (10 & 13) for a little over a week here in the QC.  We had an amazing time with lots of laughs and in the future, I’ll share some of them with you.  We did all kinds of things including kayaking, paddle boarding, whitewater rafting, zip lining, drinking beer (that one was me), and just living.  We also went to visit some very good friends of mine that cooked up a barbeque with ribs, homemade mac and cheese, and of course some beans.

 

My youngest nephew was having the time of his life until he saw those beans.  It was like someone told him that Hillary actually won.  Ha ha. This isn’t political, I’m just having fun with you.  He dreaded those beans with true fear on his face.  I pride myself on being the cool uncle and play that role incredibly well if I may say so.  With that being said, it would have been very easy for me to say don’t worry about, you don’t have to eat those.  Why fight it?? SO much simpler and I get to be COOL.

 

I like being a prick though so I made him eat some beans.  It was comical.  They were pork and beans and he ate HALF a bean at a time.  Gagged and chugged water afterwards.  I was dying inside.  I’ve never seen anything so funny. I almost gave him another scoop just to keep the party going.  4 hours later (slight exaggeration) he finally finished his beans and we said thank you and goodbye.

 

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While we drove back to Charlotte a real conversation about life sparked up and I make a point to always be honest with the boys.  I told my nephew that I didn’t care if he ate the beans for dinner as it had nothing to do with that.  He asked “Why make me do it then?”

 

I told him “Because you’re a man in training, and as men we have to do things we don’t want to do all the time.”

 

Some of you get it and others think that he is only 10.  Let him be a kid.  Here is my answer to that.  He is a kid while swimming, playing, hanging with his buddies, and all the rest of the day.  If the adults in his life don’t teach him that sometimes you HAVE to do things you really don’t want to, how is he going to be a functioning adult.  God willing he will grow up to be an adult, but that doesn’t make him ready for the world.

 

If you don’t learn to overcome LITTLE things in life, how are you going to react when the world throws real problems at you?? I’ve had my fair share of challenges in life same as you.  Everyone has setbacks, beat downs, and sometimes life just kicks you for no reason, but it is how you react to those moments that make you the person you are.  Now at 38 years old I smile and ask for a bigger spoon!

 

I’m glad people cared enough about me when I was young to make me “eat my beans.”  I don’t pretend I know anything about being a parent.  I just know what it takes to overcome and that advice is good for anyone.  You don’t pick up a football for the first time at 26 and then go win the Superbowl right??  Those guys start at age 6 now and train for decades to make it.  Shouldn’t we expect EVERYONE to be training every day to be ready for what life might throw at you.

 

Life is going to come at you that is inevitable.  Rich, poor, black, white, boy, or girl we all know that it will hit the fan eventually. You can sit and wait for someone to “say it’s okay someone else will solve your problem.”

 

Or you can smile, grab a spoon, and EAT YOUR BEANS.

 

FknBucky

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