Posts Tagged ‘Life

12
Jul
25

We love you Ryan

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Four years. It is a long time. Longer for some than others. Many of you that read my words understand exactly why I pick that amount of time. Yesterday we got the answer we wanted and like all of you I wasn’t surprised when I heard the word “Guilty”. In fact I felt a large weight come off me as I realized that a part of the nightmare is over. I hope all of you join me today to say a prayer for the Cooper family and all of his friends that miss him every single day. They’ve earned your respect and thoughts many times over.

I don’t want to talk much about the trial because in my opinion she is over. No more thoughts in my head about her as she goes into a dark hole in a prison someplace to live out her days alone. I understand a life sentence. I got one on April 1st, 2002 when I was paralyzed after making a stupid decision to ride a motorcycle I wasn’t qualified to be on. This blog isn’t about me, but I have a point to make so please be patient. It is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with and most likely will be, but I didn’t and don’t have to do it alone. I was blessed to have family and friends “walk” beside me every step of the way for the last 23 years and without them this life sentence would be truly unbearable.

When Karina murdered Ryan (I won’t type that phrase again ever) she also murdered her relationship with the world. Now she is alone. I take comfort in that thought. She might get a visitor someday, but all of us carry on enjoying a beautiful world, and getting to enjoy the AMAZING children she abandoned for incredibly stupid and selfish reasons. I’ve gotten to know one of them fairly well and he is such an awesome human and truly a strong young man. I call her stupid because how could she not see the amazing blessings she had right in front of her and foolishly threw them out for what?? A dark lonely cell for the rest of her life. Only someone with true evil in their heart could make such a decision and now we can forget all about her.

Please join me in remembering Ryan Cooper as he would want us to. Please block out the evidence of a trial and think about the smiling man with a cold Busch Light in his hand. A lifetime member of the Busch Light Brotherhood that none of us will forget. Please join me in committing to taking care of the children that so unfairly had their lives turned into chaos thru NO FAULT of their own. We will keep Ryan’s memory alive by telling them the stories and memories we have of him as they grow up so that we can remind them daily at how many people on this Earth truly loved their father. It is important we do this.

Please join me in saying a prayer for Aaron and Heather (sometimes known as Ashley – inside joke) who rose to the challenge without hesitation to take care of Ryans family. Many people say they would, but words are meaningless. The language of actions is all that matters in life and A-A Ron (couldn’t resist) stepped up in the most amazing ways imaginable. He is a hero in my book and everything that came out in the trial proved it beyond a reasonable doubt to me.

We have another trial to go thru, but just maybe that dipshit will grow a pair and simply plead guilty like the “egg donor” should have. Sorry (not really) that is mean, but I still have the anger in me even if I try real hard to take the high road. I’ve wanted to write about this for a while and I’m not sure why I haven’t. My only thinking was I honestly didn’t know if I had the words in me, but they are pouring out this AM with ease. I guess I just had to get started. I urge many of you to talk about Ryan often. I know it hurts, but it is important to not let PAIN/EVIL win and make the effort to let JOY come thru. Remember the good times and only let the bad ones live in that cold dark cell she will spend eternity in.

We are the light. We are the joy. All of us together make the world special and beautiful.

Busch Light Brotherhood for life. We love you Ryan Cooper. We will not forget. Ever.

FknBucky

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05
May
25

No Twix for the win

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Monday morning. Welcome back to reality. Hopefully the hangover isn’t too strong today and if it is, I hope it was well worth it. I’ve had plenty of hard Monday mornings back in the day and yeah they were worth it. Ha. I’m waking up in a hotel this AM and decided to write a blog instead of working out. Is that the best use of your time Bucky? Great question and normally I would say NO, but today there is a message I want to share ASAP.

I’ve been blogging about my journey to do a pull up. To achieve this goal I have to lose weight and get stronger at the same time. Only way to get there is to make better choices and some real sacrifices in my daily life. Very easy to say, extremely hard to start implementing, and dang the world is stacked against making these changes. I spent time with family last night telling stories and explaining to all of them for the 17,394th time about why I’m the most awesome human ever to live. I can assure you they never get tired of hearing about how great I am….

I kept this goal of mine a secret to the world for the first few months and only recently decided to share it with all of you. It is scary to open up in such a way and expose myself to a level of criticism that isn’t necessary, but I’ve found it to be a useful tool. Holding ourselves accountable can and will make you a better person forcing you to stay on task even when nobody is watching. How Bucky?? Stop asking so many questions and just pay attention.

I read my blogs over and over after I write them. Many times wondering what kind of an idiot actually reads this, but then I look in the mirror and say “Oh yeah”. I understand there are millions of people just like me that want to be better, work at it, and yet still struggle because the world fights us every step of the way. I cut out the candy again after Easter with a renewed vigor to reach my goal and have been solid. In a blog the other day I talked about Ice Cream and its powerful grip on my brain. I freaking love that stuff, but it isn’t helpful right now so it has to take a back seat.

When I stay in hotels I’m used to getting a snack from the gift shop by the check in counter. I’m a titanium member of Marriott and that means they love my fat ass. While they make my keys I roll into candy land and ask if I can grab something, and 99.99% of the time they say take whatever you want. Ha. It isn’t stealing because you get a free gift at check in, but I like to do it stealthily so I feel dangerous. An hour before last nights check-in I was telling my Mom, sister, and nephew about how great I’m doing and how diet is really the key to everything. By the incredible looks on their faces I could tell they heard blah BLAh blah blah blah blah, blah, blah, and blah blah.

Me and my big mouth. I stole a Twix. I knew better, but there it was all free and free. I could have taken a free nothing, but nope I wanted that Twix. I put it in my pocket, thanked Eli (front desk guy), and rolled my happy hypocrite ass down the hallway to my room. I planned to unwrap that chocolate, caramel coated cookie and bask in its sugary yumminess, but……. This darn blog. I read Ice Cream Satan and the line of “nobody will know, but I will” stuck out to me. If I ate that Twix, I would know. Sounds stupid, but it is true. What is more important to my life???

Was I prepared to give up my goal for a stupid candy bar?? Just throw in the towel and be done with it all?? Of course I was and that was the best Twix I ever had!!! ha. Just kidding. I didn’t eat the freaking thing. I’m proud of myself this morning and I know I have a new future ahead of me that involves a pull up. Now you understand why this blog is more important than a work out. I will go back and read this when I need a reminder because I will need one. I’ll probably need to be reminded before lunch today, but the point is I’ll seek it out and stay on target. I didn’t quit after I got paralyzed and I’m not going to quit now. Neither should you.

I want to stress this last point. I’m just a guy that has made every wrong decision a person can make. I had to learn the hard way over and over and over again. I know I am special, but so are you. I simply refuse to give up and will try and try and try until the final curtain call. Right now the biggest try is to try and NOT eat this darn Twix. 🙂

FknBucky

If you don’t subscribe to my blog I ask that you do. You have to join WordPress.com to do so, but it does help me. I’m also in the process of making new shirts and SWEATSHIRTS!

03
May
25

Cooler Guy

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Storming outside right now. I love a good Thunderstorm. I miss the warm nights in Iowa when it would lightening for hours before the actual storm showed up. The calm before the storm is the phrase that is clearly fitting. We would be sitting in a garage somewhere drinking ice cold Busch Lights in koozies watching the sky light up over and over. Every once in a while we’d yell “Damn that was a good one” and then take a big chug while motioning to Verno to get off the cooler and throw me another. No matter how many chairs we had, Vern was always sitting on the cooler.

Those organic random moments just happen in life and it is hard to appreciate them while they are actually occurring. In fact it is pretty much impossible for a lot of people to appreciate them at all. They are infatuated with being let down, unhappy, and victimized. Some people might laugh at a few buddies sitting around drinking beer in a garage for hours waiting on a storm to roll thru, but they are idiots. Just so you know. This blog is for you geniuses sitting in the garage with a beer in your hand. I salute you! The little things in life are what make it so much fun and learning to appreciate them is the key to having a good time while you’re here.

Flicking cigarette butts passed Bucky’s head (You know who you are) in a tool shed, watching Blayne suck a snack pack bone dry without a spoon, or just meeting up on a gravel road somewhere randomly on a hot summer night are magical memories. I didn’t know it at the time, but looking back I’m so thankful for those moments. I couldn’t tell you what we talked about, who was all there, and I probably was sworn to secrecy anyway. The point is I didn’t complain about it not being enough. I’ve never been one to bitch about what I had right now.

Of course I would like more. I would love to ride in a private jet. I’d love to drive a Lamborghini one day or have a friend pick me up in Rolls Royce for lunch, but those things aren’t important. The important things are simply enjoying the day. Today. Enjoy today. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Would you want to be sitting at the gates of Heaven (or Hell if you’re a jerk) thinking about how you wasted so many days feeling sorry for yourself just because you didn’t have the car you wanted?? You can want better things and should want them because it will fuel the fire in you to make yourself better, smarter, and able to achieve those goals.

The key is to not let it consume you. Being happy with what you have and who you are today is okay. Enjoy the lightening before the storm, the calm moments, and the random good that comes upon you. Want more, but remember to appreciate what you have right now.

FknBucky

24
Apr
25

SET THE PACE

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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The world is a funny place. It can also be scary, insensitive, mean, and completely unfair. You can wake up in the best freaking mood ever and within seconds your environment which includes other humans or animals can suck the happiness out of you like a brand new Dewalt shop vac sucks up insulation. Those new extra quiet Dewalt Shop Vacs are awesome. I’m hoping for a sponsorship so if you know anyone hook a brother up!! If you don’t know anyone, I say this, what good are you?

You wake up with a smile and then it happens. What happens Bucky?? Everything. You stub your toe on your night stand. Step on a lego. Forgot to buy shampoo. Ran out of toothpaste. Someone ate the last apple. The bacon is out of date and smells bad. The trash didn’t get picked up. Someone dinged your car door. You get cut off on the way to work. Your co-workers smell bad, again…. Life simply happens. That smile turns to a scowl. That scowl leads to irritation. You fake a smile and say “I haven’t had my coffee yet..”, but you know inside coffee won’t fix this storm. Bob in accounting laughs and says “I drank the last cup of coffee, but there is tea.” Kill them all the voice says.

Paragraph 3. You made it. The best part of all is it will all happen again tomorrow. Maybe not the same exact events, but things will irritate you until the anger comes. I have a couple of extremely obvious things to point out to you real quick. First one is this. You are not alone. Everyone else is along for the ride, AND sometimes it is your face that Bob sees as you pour the last of the coffee into your cup. Oh not me Bucky, I never cause others to want to smash a hole into the wall…. Liar. We all have our moments. Maybe next time you can start a new pot before you add cream and sugar into your cup. Goes a long way and leading by example is the best way to stop the circle of irritation.

You see the first smile of the day is free. You get to wake up happy if you choose to and you certainly should because the only other alternative is being dead and that sucks. So be happy you woke up every single day. Once you receive the free “I’m Alive” smile, you have to work for all the rest of them throughout the day. The good news is the more often you do it the easier it gets. In fact if you concentrate you can simply keep the free smile on longer and that way you don’t have to work for shii-stuff. There is a secret here I’ll let you in on. Let go of the little things that don’t matter. You have other toes. Be happy you can afford legos for your kids. Toothpaste is overrated. Bacon is well awesome, but one day without it and you might live longer. More free smiles one might say….

Happy people don’t have some magic potion. They don’t have an easier life. They simply understand that smiles equal strength. Anyone can lose their crap every 27 seconds about this and that. Real power comes when you don’t. When you are able to laugh things off. Try it. Watch the reaction of those around you when you don’t react. You might think I’m typing these words out to let you into my club of positivity, but the truth is I don’t care if you join or not. It takes to much energy for me to try and drag you along. The reason I’m writing this is to remind myself. You see tomorrow morning I’m going to wake up and read this blog before I do anything else and it will set the pace for my entire day. I challenge you to do the same thing. I promise if you do, no one will have to drag you anywhere.

And most importantly, share this message with someone else that needs a kick in the ass to get out of the anger rut. Just takes one at the right time.

FknBucky

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28
Feb
25

So disappointed

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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Friday!! I hope you had an exceptional week and used your days wisely. You only get so much time in life and none of us know exactly how much that is. If it was all over tomorrow would you be satisfied with your accomplishments?? This includes how much money you’ve earned, but more importantly measured by your relationships, your kindness, and your ability to uplift others around you.

This blog has nothing to do with all of that of course. Most of us waste our time day in and day out thinking some sort of magic fairy dust will fall upon us one day. I bought into this fantasy for way too long, but inevitably it has let me down. As I stated in yesterday’s blog I am relying on hard work, great diet, and myself to make my life better. I plan to blog about the journey so in a few months you will know first hand if I’ve let myself down or passed you by.

Speaking of being let down, yesterday was a major one. I doubt anyone on Earth has been this disappointed since the woman that took my virginity. Not her fault as one would think at 32 years old I would have had some idea what to do. Enough about me though. I was so excited yesterday morning to finally see the Epstein files. This is a disgusting pedophile was allowed to prosper on a level 99.999% of us will never see. Private island, private jets, million dollar homes, a painting of Bill Clinton in a blue dress, and a bazillion other things we may never know about.

This guy blackmailed some of the most powerful people on Earth making him even more powerful than them. There is a reason he is dead. And NO, he didn’t kill himself. He was murdered in a jail cell while on suicide watch. The guards fell asleep, the cameras stopped working, and his cellmate was a body builder that murdered 4 people with his bare hands. Nothing to see here stupid citizens. If this doesn’t terrify you I have no idea what would. Imagine what these people could do to you or me??

The FBI somehow decided that the Attorney General didn’t need to see all the files and kept them hidden. It is rumored they have been erasing them. My question is why?? It should be the question EVERYONE is asking today. Release these eff’ing records now. Protect the 254 victims names (yeah 254 underage women were trafficked and used), but release the files and prosecute the sick SOB’s that participated in the crimes facilitated by Epstein and his pimp girlfriend. Lives were ruined, but you’re too busy drinking a Carmel latte and screaming “Elon go back to Africa”!!

Who let him be murdered? Who was on that island?? What evidence is there?? I don’t care who it implicates. Prosecute them all and burn it all down if need be. We aren’t a free nation with something like hanging over our heads and I’m so grateful for the independent journalists that are keeping the pressure on Pam Bondi and Kash Patel to make sure the truth comes out.

What’s the dark will come to light – Katt Williams

Never settle. Never wait for fairy dust.

FknBucky

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25
Feb
25

STRAPPED UP!!

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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6:37 is what the clock said when I looked at it. DANG IT is what I said. Yoga starts at 7 AM and I was going to be late. Annie looked at me with drowsy eyes that said stop moving around I’m trying to sleep here. Nothing like waking up in a hotel, late, and then trying to rush out the door for a yoga session across town. Sounds like familiar territory in my life as rushing is something I’ve become accustomed to. This darn wheelchair makes everything take much longer, but such is life.

Even with hitting every single red light on the way there, I arrived at 7:06 AM, and class was in session as I rolled thru the door. Luckily it is a cozy yoga studio with great people that are happy to see an extra face awake and joining them for the early morning namaste. Class itself was perfect although 17 minutes in, I realized I have a lot to learn about yoga still. I do a session on my own daily and it is clear my form along with my timing is crap compared to what it is when I attend classes. I’m paralyzed from the chest down and have figured out how to do yoga, so what is your excuse again??

My body is a million times better off and I have so much LESS pain when I do yoga daily. A testimonial you didn’t ask for and I didn’t plan on making. Third paragraph is when I usually pivot to talk about what I actually had in mind. Today is no different. I was cleaning up the blocks and straps I used for the past hour. Well 54 minutes if you want bring up old shit about me being late. Moonbeam (yoga coach) grabbed the blocks from me and said she would be back for the strap. I take no orders and decided to take care of the strap myself. I carefully rolled it up tight so it would sit nicely in the strap box. Seems like a pretty boring event right?? WRONG!

I rolled that strap up perfectly. Wasn’t mine. No fee to just throw it in the box. I mean it isn’t Blockbuster and it wasn’t a VHS tape. This took more of my precious time to roll it up with no real benefit to me. Why do it Bucky??

Well….. I don’t do things half assed. Ever. Not even a stupid strap after yoga. If you can’t do tiny little tasks with precision, how or why would anyone trust you to do big tasks perfectly? It is a mind set and I see many people in this world that don’t have it or refuse to use it. How do you tackle inconsequential projects throughout the day?? Do you put care into them and pay attention or simply throw whatever into the box while thinking about that TV show you watch that no one else cares about?

Success is in the details. I didn’t roll that strap up for the yoga studio. I did it for myself. It is a form of intangible character that one must possess to have a successful happy life in my opinion. Pay attention to the small things and the larger problems in life become much easier to overcome. Look at what you are doing and think “how can I do it better?” Once the answer becomes “no possible way to do this better”, you will have mastered the task and just might unlock the door to a fulfilling life in the process.

Namaste

FknBucky

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12
Feb
25

Russian Pothead

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Got another Pothead back from Russia. Maybe Americans should stop smuggling weed into that country so we don’t have to beg Putin to get them back. Just a thought. Not really my thing for this blog these days, but I will do a quick FknBucky public service announcement: Don’t take weed, marijuana, herb, green, wacky tabacky, or ganja into Russia. Pfffft! Easier said than done says 22 year old Bucky. For the record 22 year old Bucky was so cool.

I’ll be honest I don’t know much about the guy, but I’m happy for him and his family. I traveled in Europe about 10 years ago and I was very aware that I wasn’t in my homeland. I was in a different place with their rules and I’m considered a risk taker by many, but I promise I didn’t F around because I didn’t want to find out. I’m not going to pick on this guy. Haha. Of course I am. Doing drugs is stupid, doing them in other countries with VERY strict laws is really really dumb.

Don’t take weed to Russia. Don’t do heroin in Malaysia because they will kill you. Same with Saudi Arabia, yeah, you get the death penalty for selling drugs there. I made lots of bad decisions growing up and it is what it is. I’m not proud of some of those choices, but they got me to where I am right now today. All things aside I’m alive, mostly healthy, and I have the greatest family along with some of the greatest friends a human could ask for from all over the world. I’m not sure what the title will be at this point because I have no idea where this is going to end up.

Truth is I want to be in the habit of writing everyday. Scratch that I write everyday, but I want to publish everyday. I think it is important to keep me on track. The messages I put in these blogs are my accountability mirror. I read this 50 times by the time I publish it. Think back to the messages in my blogs and now imagine if you read that message fifty times a day. We are what we consume. You are what you eat. Funny joke right, but it is true. Same is true with your mind.

If you listen to songs about drugs, drinking, and sleazy habits all day that is what you will think about. Let’s go on this new obligation journey together. Try listening, reading, and speaking things that are positive and will keep you uplifted throughout the day. I assure you that it works and will make a difference in your daily life. Give it a shot. Or….. Grab some blunts and fly to Russia for the weekend. Twenty-two year old Bucky just might meet you at the airport.

FknBucky

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Make others around you happy and better off. I promise your life will improve in so many ways. This includes random acts of kindness. Trust me it is an addiction worth having.

07
Feb
25

EASY COME EASY GO

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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FRIDAY!! Well for most of us anyway. When I used to snowboard all the time Monday was my Friday, but who cares about that. I recently wrote about gambling and it seems I’m not the only one in this country that has that app on my phone. I have seen so many YouTube videos of steamers and others yelling about how awesome it is to bet it all Plinko balls, slots, blackjack, or put everything you own on black. Let me be very clear about something. That is not awesome and it is absolutely incredibly stupid.

You want to gamble then do it, but…. Learn to gamble on yourself. Make yourself better, read the books, talk to successful people (not only about money), give back by volunteering and helping others, and just concentrate on being a better person. Then your life will double in value. Just like when the roulette wheel stops on Black.

There are lots of sayings that are from forever ago and nobody remembers where they came from. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater is one. WTF does that even mean?? Did someone accidentally throw a baby away one day?? I can think of a few adults I wish would have been…. Just kidding. It is WAY more than a few. Here is one that is way more applicable to today’s message.

Easy come Easy go. Pretty simple. I saw a video of someone that gambled 10K on a roulette table. They won in the video. Good for them. I thought about how hard I work to earn that amount of money and the thought of putting it at such stupid risk made my hands sweat. Now if one of you handed me $10,000 and said “do whatever you want”, I’d have no problem throwing that down on black. I’d scream “LET IT RIDE” if I won because there is no attachment to that money.

Here is the point. When you work for something you take care of it so when in doubt work on yourself. The more you do that the more value you will place on yourself. The more you cherish yourself the more others will begin to cherish you. Things worth having are not easily attained and take hard work. Why not make yourself one of those things?? Get smarter, get stronger, get in shape, be kind to others, volunteer, and if you find a baby laying outside in some bathwater please remember. Someone threw it out for a reason.

FknBucky

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09
Jan
25

A happy plus

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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Hello my literate friends. I’ve got the anger right now so I decided to write, but it might not be what you think so please read to the end. I wanted to write a message about Christmas, then New Year’s, and now I realize we are already past one week into 2025. These days fly by without us paying attention. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and then year after year slip by. I’m 46 now. I’m a plus. What is a plus Bucky?? I’ll tell you. Recently I was on Amazon or something and a chart came up. It asked my age. Here are the choices.

18-25, 25-35, 35-45, 45+

I thought WTF when I had to check the plus box. I can deal with the gray hairs, the aches and pains in the AM, the loss of people I love, but marking that box hit me pretty hard. I thought about my goals, my life, my decisions, and all of the moments I could have done differently. Then I got drunk and texted ex-girlfriends until 4 AM. Just kidding. I’m old and only text until Matlock comes on at 9 pm.

The truth is we can’t change the past. Ever. We can learn from our mistakes and try very hard to not repeat them. That is it. No more. I like to read from a book call ZEN FLESH ZEN BONES and I highly recommend everyone on planet EARTH read it as well. There is a story in it about two monks walking down a road in a downpour. They come across a very beautiful young woman walking in a silk kimono that needs to get across a muddy section. One of the monks simply walked over to her, picked her up, carried her across the mud so that she would keep her clothes clean, and then put her down.

The two monks continued on their way without saying a word. Many hours later as they lay down to sleep the monk that didn’t carry the woman finally had to say something. All day he thought about how his friend had touched a woman when they had sworn to NOT do that very thing. He said “Friend, how could you carry that woman knowing our vows??

As he rolled over to fall asleep the other monk replied “I set her down on the side of the road, but it seems you have been carrying her all day.”

How much do you carry around all day?? How much of it is from other peoples actions that have nothing to do with you??? Imagine if you could learn to leave it at the side of the road. We should always be students, learning to be better at life, enabling us to become teachers to the next generation. If you agree with that statement what lessons do you want to teach?? I would like the people around me to become better than I am, to be smarter than I am, more patient than I am, and hopefully more prosperous than I am in all aspects of life.

I will now tell you why I was angry. My van had an oil leak. I’m told it is common with my model of vehicle and it is going to cost me about $1,000. I pay CarShield $89 a month to cover repairs that come up, but now for the second time in 5 years they denied to pay anything. Had I simply put the $89 a month I pay CarShield into an account I would still have $3,193 AFTER I paid for the repairs needed.

Instead I’ve paid them $5,340, paid auto repair workers $2,147, and have the same result. I’ve cancelled my policy with them this morning and just set up an auto pay out of my account into a new “auto” savings account. Lesson learned. This was an expensive one, but I promised myself not to carry it around with me all day. I’m going to leave it here. It isn’t going to hurt CarShield if I run around town telling everyone how horrible of a day I’m having because of this event. Nope.

I’m going to tell everyone I’m doing great. I caught the leak early before any serious damage was done. AWE AUTO in Traer, IA was able to get my van fixed in a very reasonable amount of time and for a very fair price. Live is good. I have an amazing family, a ton of awesome friends, an amazing furry best friend, a business of my own, my health is great, and on and on and on. So this PLUS is going to smile today, tomorrow, and for the rest of the year. I hope you find reasons to smile with me.

FknBucky

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P.S. I hope you share this with others if you feel the message is helpful. One moment at a time we can make the world a better place.

18
Nov
24

My words are flowers

By Bucktown 3 Comments
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Crash!! It was all I heard. I looked down and saw the broken Corona beer bottle that just whizzed by my head laying smashed on my patio. I thought Hmmmmm beer bottles don’t normally fall from the sky, but I didn’t live in a normal place. No, I lived in paradise which was plagued with beautiful women in bikinis, beautiful women in one pieces, and beautiful women in well everything. I miss La Jolla. I looked up to see who threw this South of the border beer at my head and saw a beautiful woman in a bikini. She yelled down “Sorry!!”

I yelled back “You better slow your roll!!”

Ha. We all know I didn’t do that. Nope. I yelled “You don’t know it yet, but we are going to be best friends!”

That is true. All of it. She was my new neighbor that just moved in above me having her house warming party while I was having my 1,427th house warming party. We did become best friends are still close today. I got to know her family and she got to know all of my issues and perversions. Hey being my neighbor can’t be all fun. I started going to church at some point because I was struggling in life and she was kind enough to come with me. It became a Sunday thing for us and I cherished it. Sometimes her Mom would come down and join us which meant the world to me. Living in paradise was tough at times when your whole family lives very far away. Sometimes a dose of Mom when a guy is having tough times is better than any drug our prescription happy doctors can give. I grew to truly care about Elaine and always looked forward to my next dose.

I believe Moms should get flowers. Why?? Because they like them. I would get my drug Mom (get it?) flowers on days I knew she would be joining us at church. Part of my life struggles was affording my time in paradise, but I still spent money on flowers. Elaine hated me doing it. I did it anyway. She didn’t realize the moments of giving her flowers made me feel like a good son which is something I was craving at the time. I never told her that. I won’t ever be able to. She passed away last night. With tears blurring my vision I write this sentence.

I know a lot of people in this world. I’ve been blessed to have made some strong friendships in my life that matter to me for many reasons. I was lucky to know Elaine as well as I did. I always say if you want to know a person get to know their children and I’ve been even more blessed in that. I’m still close friends with that crazy broad that started our friendship by throwing Corona bottles at me. Stupid girl everyone knows I like Heineken. That drunken friendship became a spiritual one at church and I’m forever grateful for the heels stomping on my floor as an alarm clock, the cups of coffee and Coke Zeros to get me moving, and the acceptance into a family when I needed it.

I was banned from buying flowers the last few years. Funny part is I can afford them now. I am horrible about listening, but I will respect Elaine’s wish one more time. I will not send flowers to the celebration of life. Instead I will send these words. These words can be my flowers. I loved her and like many other people I will miss her. The holiday dinners, the coffee after church, the “Damn it Bucky”, and the love her genuine smile shined on everyone lucky enough to see it.

I love you neighbor.

FknBucky

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