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25
Sep
24

The Sun

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Ahhhh the sun. My favorite part of the solar system. Without it we would not exist. Nothing. No trees, no animals, no flowers, no dogs, no cats, no traffic, no wait maybe we should, nope bad idea, and with that sentence I hope you can now appreciate the sun just a little more everyday. Stop letting the wussies tell you what to do and spend the day in the sun without sunscreen. Trump says Drill baby drill, well I say BURN baby burn!!! Let that skin sizzle to really make you feel alive.

Okay that is stupid. Wear sunscreen and if you listen to me and complain later, I will personally fly to your home, hold you softly while stroking your hair, tell you it will be okay, and then I’ll kill you. And your family. Okay. Back to happy sun thoughts. I do yoga while walking Annie everyday. I throw the frisbee until she needs a break and then I’ll do my stuff. Today while doing my routine in hotel parking lot I let the sun soak into my face for a moment. I had my eyes closed and just concentrated on breathing. In a moment I was transported back to La Jolla living on Wind-n-Sea beach with the waves crashing on the beach. It was actually a black Escalade trying to ram me out of the way. Um, never close your eyes for extended periods of time in hotel parking lots.

It reminded me of the incredible strength of memories. You work all year and then take a week in the mountains, a deep sea fishing trip, or a hiking trip in Utah to appreciate the beauty of that state. If you’ve never been to Utah I suggest you fix that right now. My real point is never underestimate the power of memories. I’m able to overcome the hardest moments in life by remembering the best of times I’ve had with people I adore and love. I’ve lost touch with many friends over the years, I’ve fallen out with some of them, and sadly some are with God way too early, but I’m able to remember them all just like it was yesterday. I let the sun shine on my face (eyes closed, I’m not Trump) with its warmth reigniting the memories I’ve stored in my cold storage thought freezer. I just made that up, but I like it.

Here is my point today which is similar to the points I make every time I write. LIVE YOUR LIFE. Make the memories. Don’t skip out on fun. It matters. MAKE time to be with the people you love right now. They might not be there when you have more money, more time, more vacation time, or whatever other excuse you allow yourself to use. Think about that. I do sometimes. Not to the point where it hurts, but remind yourself that life is short and you have to enjoy every moment starting right freaking now.

I hope that is blunt enough for you. What do you think about when you let the heat from the sun microwave your memory bank?? A trip?? A moment with your girl? Your guy?? Your kids?? I’ll be honest I thought about the beach in La Jolla as I already mentioned and…. I thought about a time when a friend and I stood atop Copper Mountain about to drop into Gaveling Gulch. We both smiled and yelled “We are going to remember this shit for the rest of our Eff’ing lives!!” We were not wrong. I remember the drop, the massive snow cloud I created when I landed, every turn on the way down, and high fiving Rob at the bottom. A Jeep Cherokee slammed on the brakes, went sideways stopping, and with the tires screeching the driver screamed at us “HOW WAS IT??” I smiled and knew I had just experienced something very special.

I love that feeling. I’ve done many crazy awesome things in my life and I have no plans to stop anytime soon. Driving the other day I remembered flying around in a helicopter over Hawaii and smiled because it was flipping cool. I spent the night in Saint Moritz, eating at a fine dining restaurant with the owner of the hotel, and my date was Miss Thailand. I’ve traveled, I’ve laughed, I’ve loved, I’ve made many friends, and I cherish those memories more than any dollar I’ve ever earned. On my deathbed I will not be talking about how much money I have in a bank account, how many stocks I have, or how much property I own. No. I will smile and talk about the great possessions I have. Memories.

Go make some.

FknBucky

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24
Jul
24

Build him a Statue

By Bucktown 2 Comments
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I’m mad today. I could write ten blogs with all that has happened, but sitting down to put the events of the day into written words reminds me to let go. I say it all the time in these short stories asking all of you to set down the anchors of anger you are carrying, but here I brought one home with me. I promise by the time this blog is over so will my anger. I will share with you though because keeping things inside is the largest cause of becoming weighted down.

I went to the doctor today and have a clean bill of health. Kidney is out. Infection is gone. I feel better than I have in 15 years. If I wrote it all out in detail only 3 of you would actually read it all, but after a very very hard battle I am relatively healthy. Missing a kidney and I’m 45 years young, but the doctor said I look amazing. I agree.

Leaving the doctors office I played with Annie for over an hour and then went to get into my van. I waited as a guy backed into the spot next to mine. This particular doctors office is always busy. Very busy. For some reason the parking garage only has 4 blue man spots and most times when I go there they are full so I park way up in no man land. I don’t care about that. Today I got one of the 4. The guy I waited for was about 25 years old, jumped out of his car, made sure to not make eye contact with me, and then jogged towards the entrance. Not on my watch. I yelled out “Hey, you forgot your placard!!” He turned around and started saying “My Mom, and this and that”, but I wasn’t having it. I called him out.

He called me a “Beach Butt N-word” (I’m sure you can decipher) along with saying I don’t care if you’re in a wheelchair. I promise at no point was I scared of him. I could see his eyes and he was no tough guy. I laughed and said “The only Beach Butt is you not being able to walk an extra 100 feet”. He jumped in his car and drove away because a crowd was starting to form at this point. I got in my van and left about 5-10 minutes later. I saw him waiting for me across the street in another parking lot and sure enough he pulled behind me. Once he was able to pulled up next to me, threw a cup of ice at me, and then in an exceptional show of strength threw the paper cup at me. Well my van. That is scratched up from years of wheelchair in and out. He really showed me.

F him. F anyone that parks illegally in a blue man spot. One minute after he left an elderly couple used that spot and an old man using a walker went towards the entrance. I don’t regret for a second speaking up for what is right. I only hope that others do the same. A-holes like this guy act this way because they can. I say who cares who is president. We can make our communities kind again. Speak up. There are WAY MORE of us good people than jerks in the world. We have to stop letting anyone get away with behavior like this because it usually only takes one embarrassment to learn a lesson. I hope he tells everyone the story about how a guy in a wheelchair called him out so he waited 10 minutes to throw ice at his car. I bet they will build statues of this guy.

I won’t be afraid. I won’t be bullied. I WILL speak up.

FknBucky

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P.S. I’m not angry anymore. Ha. Bet you forgot about that.

23
Jul
24

I wish I was your lover

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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DAMN! I wish I was your lover…..

What a song. Brought back some great memories the other day from a time that seems like yesterday, but I realize it was almost 30 years ago. Some of the girls I went to school with would say “Damn” and then I would sing (very very poorly) the “wish I was your lover” part. It became a thing and truth be told I’m not sure how it started. I think it was because I had a huge crush on one of them, but some secrets are meant to be kept…..

Grandpa was right. Go read a few blogs back if you don’t know the reference. I’m happy for those moments, those times when a song comes on the radio and I’m immediately transported back to a particular night or memory that makes me smile. I’m lucky enough to still have a memory after my 20’s so I count that in the blessing column for sure. We all have bad moments in life and that is perfectly natural so embrace them. Understand that they will pass. This year has been a freaking crazy one for me, but seeing a post on FB about a song melted all the hardship away in a moment. I smiled and life was good again.

A song on the radio. A car driving by. A shirt you see. An old picture in a box you find. A city. I have all of these things and more that remind me of amazing moments I’ve had in life. It isn’t luck they happened, these moments were made possible by showing up to the party, saying yes to that voice in my head, and simply putting myself out there. It is important to encourage the kids around you (your own kids, nieces and nephews, step kids, random D-Bag kid that keeps walking on your yard) to take the chances needed to make these special memories. We all see what happens when kids are isolated.

Sanitarium by Metallica and Damn, I wish I was your lover (kinda forgot about that one….). Chevy Lumina (couple of them). Obviously seeing anyone in a FknBucky shirt!! I have hundreds of pictures in boxes. ROME. These are just some of the special memories that I keep in my head to make me smile when I need it the most. When you have a tough time happening take a minute to go back to one of your special moments and simply smile. I promise whatever hardship won’t seem so hard when you look back at it.

FknBucky

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19
Jul
24

That one thing

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Short, tall, rich, poor, white, black, American, Brazilian, or anything else you can think of to describe what we all are. They are simply labels, but the truth when it is broken down, we are all humans. Democrat, Republican, Independent, or whatever party you choose to be a part of again we are the same. Only our minds are different. That thing inside your head that grows with you year after year. Each experience you have makes a notch in it creating who you are right now. Somewhere along the way a person cared enough about you to make sure you learned how to read otherwise you would be playing candy crush level 4,384 instead of reading this blog. You should call and thank them.

I have a point to this so hang on. People with less actually are able to appreciate the topic I’m writing about. The thing we all have regardless of who we vote for. The thing that so many humans forget to appreciate on a daily basis. We spend each day chasing a dollar, working for the man, being annoyed by those around us, and forgetting the best thing in each of us. What could that be? Simple and it is only one word. Blessings.

We all have them. Are you dry? Cool?? Do you have something to eat today?? It may not be steak and lobster, but if you have a full belly then you are blessed. You may not have a 23 bedroom mansion, but are you in the rain?? I don’t have air conditioning Bucky. Hmmmm. Do you have a fan? Blessing. I don’t have a fan Bucky. Hmmm. Got a window?? If the answer is no then you’re in jail. If you’re in jail stop wasting time reading this and go get a book. Start with this one. How to stop committing crimes for Dumbasses.

I wasn’t going to write this evening, but Annie kept shoving this darn football onto my lap. I was annoyed with her, but then it hit me that instead of annoyed I should feel blessed she wants to hang out with me. Instead of being annoyed with your family after a long week remember how blessed you are to have them. Close your eyes, imagine life without them, take ownership of that feeling, and then remember it every time you begin to be annoyed.

It is proven that people in poor countries are genuinely happier simply because they haven’t been tainted with all the BS some of us have been. They don’t compare their life with a fake family on TV. Instead they care about each other and appreciate the things they do have. I make a point to do that everyday, I always feel better about what I have today, and it reminds me to appreciate everyone I’ve met along the way. Thank you to everyone that has blessed my life.

Feel blessed right now. Be a shame to not be happy with a full belly.

FknBucky

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18
Jul
24

stick

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Scott Wood Photo (Amazing)

Beauty. Funny word. Means many different things to just about everyone. What is beautiful to you?? A view? A woman? A man? A car? Truck? An experience? All of them? For me it is very simple. A look in the mirror. I’m one beautiful human. Life hasn’t been an easy path for me and it hasn’t been for you either, but we all must work at keeping our confidence. If you don’t work at it who will do it for you? I promise the world will only try to kill your confidence not help grow it. Surround yourself with people that only have your best interest in mind or life becomes unnecessarily harder.

I was playing frisbee with Annie the other day and saw a walking stick crawling across the cement floor of this little shack we use for shade at the park. I can’t remember ever seeing one in the “wild” before, but I was enamored with it. Maybe I was jealous of that darn stick that can walk…. Haha It was gorgeous and I couldn’t stop watching it slowly crawl across the floor to nowhere. Just endless cement, but it didn’t know that because it could only see/sense what is right in front of it. I could see the path he was traveling was a futile one so I kept trying to steer it another way, but that darn stubborn stick fought me no matter what I did. I remember thinking this must be how God or Big Bang Theory feels watching me live my life.

Sometimes the most inspirational things are complete surprises to us, but we must be patient enough to see them. Learning to me is beautiful. I simply love to learn anything new and watching that bug taught me lessons I had no idea I needed when I woke up that morning. I moved it off the cement into some rocks, but then thought it was a stick not a rock so that was no good. I grabbed a twig and it crawled onto it almost immediately so I rolled about 50 feet away into some wood chips. I found a small tree, put that walking stick onto a branch, and watched it for a couple minutes. It only took about 30 seconds for uncoordinated idiot to fall off. Kind of like me.

It didn’t hit the ground though. A small strand of something came out of its butt, it hung about 4 inches from the branch, and I was about to “save” it when something remarkable happened. It started to climb up this string that came out of it. As it blew around in the wind that darn bug got closer and closer to the branch I put it on until it made it back to safety. I had been in awe of this creature for 20 minutes and thought it had no more beauty to see, but like many times in my life I was wrong.

There is more beauty inside yourself if you just take the time to see it. Once you can see it, then and only then, can the world see it.

FknBucky

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13
Jul
24

into the deep

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Happy Saturday. One heck of a year. This one won’t be forgotten so quickly by me. Crazy how fast they go by. I sat with my Grandfather when I was around 16 years old and we were talking about him turning 80 years old. He was very easy to talk to, but the conversations rarely got into the “deep” territory where true feelings were expressed. That is the only way I can describe it, but hopefully most of you will know what I mean. Oddly enough many years later I would talk with my Grandmother after Pa passed away and those conversations were almost always “deep” making our relationship very strong. Anyway

Talking with Pa that day he said something to me. He said “I remember being your age, then I blinked, and now I’m 80.” His voice trailed off at the end and he seemed to gaze at something not in the room, not in the field out of the window, not anywhere, but inside his mind. He was looking at his life. The timeline he created in 80 years and how quickly happened. Thing is I could see it. While he stared at it, I stared at him soaking in those words he had just said. I heard the message loud and clear that day. Enjoy it, don’t waste it, do right in it because the ride is short, and no matter how many tickets you acquire there is no do overs. You can’t buy another turn.

I died in early May. Died. My doctor told me if I wasn’t such a tough SOB I would certainly be dead. Let that soak in. I’m 45. I don’t want my ride to end. Whatever age you are go do that thing you dream about. What the F are you waiting for?? I have friends I haven’t seen in over a decade that mean the world to me. I can’t understand how that much time has gone by. I used to see some of these friends every single day and we swore life would never get that busy we’d let forever go by. It almost did. Instead of reading this you could be telling a story about some dumb crap I did one night. Plenty of those to choose from, but maybe one day people will talk about something wise I said that helped change their life. Maybe that can be today. Life is short.

People say it all the time, but you don’t hear them. You buy your 12 pack, drive home drinking the first one, and then drink the rest while complaining to your neighbor how you never get the opportunities other people do. Hmmm. They are at home reading books and making themselves better every night. Wanna travel, go! Wanna make more money, learn. Wanna have a family, stop doing anal. Ha. The world is there for the taking.

It won’t be easy. Making changes rarely is, but remember someday soon you will be 80 and it will be your turn to gaze out. What will you see?? What will be on that timeline??

FknBucky

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Just a couple pics from my timeline:

30
Jun
24

Same Caramel Different Day

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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ZERO fat???? I asked. “Yes” was the reply. I had just mixed up my scrambled eggs up with butter, bacon, and love. I didn’t even get one bite when the doctor came in and looked at my kidney drain. Not one bite. The drain was cloudy. Cloudy is bad.

I

If I wanted to go home I had to commit to a zero fat diet for two weeks. Not idea what that entailed, but what the heck, I wanted to sleep in my own bed so I agreed. How hard could it be?? Turns out there is fat in Häagen Dazs. The world hates me is my only conclusion. All the things I love have fat in them.

My sister helped clear out the bad and shopped for the healthy before she picked me up to take me back to the apartment. I’m lucky to have a great group of family and friends. I spent yesterday cleaning and organizing my bedroom. You see the last five plus years have been insanely hard on me due to this darn infection, but I couldn’t see it. My energy went down, my pain went up, and life in general slowly began to downgrade allowing my world to descend into chaos. Fancy way to say my home is a mess.

While organizing and cleaning my bedroom I found something the sister missed. A large piece of caramel I bought a few days ago while at the the mall. You know the candy store by the door with insanely yummy everything.. I loaded up before surgery thinking if things go bad my corpse will be full of chocolate goodness. I lived so I was a man with way too much sugar in his system and a leftover caramel in his bedroom.

My first thought was I’m eating this M Eff’er right now. Then I remembered who I am. FknBucky? Nope. Bucky? Nope. Allen? Nope. I am a man of character and self discipline. I haven’t always won every battle in my life, but I’m not losing this one. I take a bite and it will taste amazing. After 57 hours of ZERO fat I’ve earned a little yummy. Bull$h!t. The goal to reach is two weeks.

I take that bite and all I’ll taste is guilt and failure. I’ve done that before and learned that lesson. Not this time. My character isn’t for sale. I will wait two weeks and that bite will be one of power and satisfaction. That little caramel bite will give me strength for the next battle that will surely come.

We all have it in us. Wait it out.

FknBucky

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This meme just made me laugh.

25
Jun
24

Going In

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Hello my friends. I have been so busy trying to keep my life in order it has been difficult to find time to write on here. We have been recording podcasts the last week and I remind you I’ve only been out two weeks from my near death experience hospital time. My stupid arm is still numb and the shoulder hurts when I use it. Funny thing about being paralyzed. If one of my arms doesn’t work, I simply roll in circles which is an issue for me.

So in about two hours I will be arriving at the hospital to have my left kidney taken out. We’ve been together for 45 years. Longest relationship I’ve ever had, but like a few of my other ex’s that bitch has been trying to kill me. I’ve said in the past “It is time to cut the drama from my life”, but this is the first time it is literally happening. I’ve had surgeries before, but I’m truthful on here. I’m a little scared. This is the first time a major organ is being taken out. They tried to take my left nut about 15 years ago, but like the rest of me (minus this stupid wimp left kidney) it was too strong to quit and came back. My balls are awesome.

I gotta get dressed for this. I love you all. Thank you for all your support and well wishes. Looking forward to writing again soon. Please go to YouTube and watch the podcasts. Episode 24 is so funny. I love it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lo_0BeK2nYk

Take care of each other and let go of petty BS. Life is too short to carry anger around. Show love and forgiveness and you will have a happy experience on this beautiful planet. Travel. Enjoy. Smile. Talk to people that are different from you with an open mind.

FknBucky

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02
Jun
24

No More Air for FknBucky

By Bucktown 2 Comments
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Let’s face it you are all a bunch of sick puppies that want to know the details of FknBucky almost dying. You will get them because I promised to always be honest on here. It has been a very dark road and one I wish I could have avoided, but I will make jokes cause that is what I do. If I was about to be shot in the head, I would ask the shooter to promise to tell the hospital that I did NOT die of Covid. It is just who I am. Marry a funny man if you want to have a fun life. I’m taking apps (women only), bunch of savages….

FYI, My hand and arm are still numb and won’t work correctly. My strength is about 40%. Prayers and respect to all Quads. If you know a Quad or see one, give them an hug and say how amazing their strength is. Some of the strongest people on Earth. As my hand comes back I’ll be able to type and blogs will come faster.

On to dying. I was at home for days stuck in bed feeling sick. I couldn’t get up to take Annie outside or feed her. I could not get up to use the restroom properly and my home became a complete mess. It was overwhelming in so many ways and very disheartening to a person like me that demands the best from myself. To no longer have the strength to live with the independence I cherish came very close to crushing my spirit in the ultimate way. It hurt so much inside. I don’t care about pissing on myself as it happens when people get older and when a person is a paraplegic. The disheartening and soul crushing part was not being able to clean up myself.

My Mom (Carol – Thank You so much) came out to help after I admitted I was in a bad way. My breathing was horrid. I’ve been doing it for 45 years, but for some reason I could not get air. I had to sit cross legged with my head down to breathe. Imagine having to stay in one spot/position to get air. It sucked. Life was happening around me, with people coming and going, the lawn being mowed, packages coming, and I was a statue taking small breaths to simply stay alive. After a week, I called an ambulance. Have I ever mentioned how stubborn I am??

In the ER they found my kidney to be infected again. WOW. I could have told them that. I go thru the motions and get checked into room 7911. Small room. First time in my life I had…. Who knows. I started that sentence earlier and can’t remember what the heck I was planning to say. Oh now I do. Oxygen. First time they put the oxygen on me. It was weird. Didn’t get me high though like they say in fight club. Stupid hospital oxygen. I spent days in that room stuck in bed. No moving just fighting to breathe all day and night. Ma spent the night because it was so rough. My eyes were yellow, body beaten down, very little humor or smiles from me, just pain, hurt, and worry.

Day 4 or 5 I was up again. No sleep in the hospital. NONE. Remember my spasms were going crazy the entire time. They always wanted to lay me flat on my back , irritate the kidney, and make my legs & stomach go insane. My stomach spasms are so strong I can’t breathe when they go. It becomes a clamp on my lungs that makes taking a breath impossible. Think about how scary that would be. Sitting there minding your own business and WHAM you can’t bring air into your body with no idea when it will stop. Now imagine it happens a hundred plus times a day/night.

The clock was 6 AM. The nurse and doctor were talking about discharging me that day. My Mom and I insisted that would not be good for me. I told Mom that I would die if they sent me home as I could feel a lot was wrong still. Everything they were doing was not improving my situation. I couldn’t breathe and my spasms were still going crazy. Remember I had been struggling to breathe for weeks, but now it was real. I was gasping and using all the tiny bit of strength I had to get the smallest amounts of air. It is a crazy feeling to try so hard bring air in and get nothing over and over and over and over…. I was getting legit scared. I have a lot I want to do yet in life. I don’t want to die, not like this…. A fast car on a mountain road, spontaneous combustion, a crazy ex-girlfriend and a kid that ain’t mine, or my favorite going out with a smile at a decently old age after giving away every penny I have to those less fortunate than I am.

The more I struggled the more people came into my tiny room to watch me die. The door was a huge wooden one that the nurse and doctor kept shutting very hard which loud noises make my spasms go off making it double hard to breathe again. Once the doctor came in yelling at me and Mama bear yelled “Hey watch your TONE!!!” My Mom sat back and told me to trust the doctors, but when it goes too far this Farm Mama will stab you with a pitch fork.

Breath so bad it deserves 3 pictures.

The big time doctor came in. He had scrubs on and was a, well male, so you know he was in charge.. Oooo that will get some all stirred up. RELAX. Women are super important. Who else would hold stuff while the doctor works???? He was right up in my grill and clearly ate dog poo for breakfast. Worst breath ever. I was dying. He kept telling me to breathe but I was trying to blow his shit breath away. Take air in, no way, not smelling like that. Here comes death. All the money and time to train a doctor they can’t have one day to learn how to pop an ALTOID before getting in the face of a dying person. Heck, you have a woman right there ready to hold them for you. Ha.

If you mad at a couple men/women jokes this blog is going hurt long term. Take a breathe. Smile. See how easy that is. I couldn’t do it the other day. Don’t get upset at stupid words. If you do, you’ll never have a happy day. On to my death.

I had to see my Mom’s face as I going out. No one should ever have to see that. My Mom’s sad/crushed face while smelling shit breath from a doctor telling me to breathe like I somehow forgot in the last 6 seconds. Pretty much the worst way to go. I couldn’t speak anymore. Not sure if I would have said if I could have. Maybe “Goodbye Ma or Someone got a tic tac for dog shit breath doctor here??” It is a toss up. Then I ran out of gas. Completely. I stopped breathing. I had not one more gasp in me. I just stopped.

FknBucky

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27
May
24

meet FKNBucky

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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I am ALIVE!!! This is true.

I am blessed. This is also true.

More truth for you. I have been in the hospital since April 30thish, 2024…… I went down for the big count. Around May 5th I ran out of air. I was no longer able to breathe. I was told for days by hospital staff that I was simply having a panic attacks. I do a lot of things. I curse to much. I call stupid lazy people stupid and lazy to their face. I love my family/friends. I make very inappropriate jokes/comments. I laugh at racist jokes. Mostly after I say them.

What I don’t do is panic. Ever.

I’ve had a bad kidney for over 6 years. I’ve had some other health issues for a lot longer. I’ve been trying to get these problems identified and handled and have tried for a very long time. Why don’t I tell you??? Cause you got your own BS to handle. I mean that in a positive light. I never planned for this to blow up so big and become such a hard thing to deal with. I had no strength, energy, and it sucked. I had no phone calls, emails, and couldn’t take of Annie. Some of the hardest and darkest days off my life. No doubt.

Slight side note, but relevant:

I am comfortable with violence. I think a punch in the mouth is needed sometimes. Given and received depending on what time you started day drinking. Day drinking with a side of violence. I love Wisconsin so much…. And IA, and NY, and AL, GA, NC, SC, KY, NJ, and a former CO resident named Nate from NJ, Dave Dean, and many others . When I fell out/died at the hospital for almost 3 days last week they forgot to move my left arm. Now it is numb and don’t work. Being a quad is HARD. I have so much more respect for those who face that challenge everyday.

It is Slllllloooooooowwwwly coming back. I feel like I should be able to punch the person responsible in their face without jail time. My left arm/hand is dominant although I am ambidextrous, but both arms are equal when attempting to push a wheelchair in a straight line. My logic is I should get to dot Billy’s “move the arm guy” eye so he sees fuzzy out his left eye while I’m stuck rolling in circles….. What if Billy is a girl Bucky??? Duh. I do the right thing and use gender neutral violence obviously throwing the headbutt. I’m not stupid. I am funny however and you love my genuine ass.

Now that I can use a phone again I have a lot of blogs to write. You will enjoy them. I’m sorry many of you had no idea how sick I was. I couldn’t type and it happened fast. PLEASE follow this blog and the podcast. Future info will come thru here and the podcast. I have a large family and SSOOO many amazing friends from all over the world. You are the reason I never stop fighting for my life or my right to say messed up things to make people laugh. This experience will be shared fully and I’m hoping to write blogs daily, but I also have a ton of therapy and life to catch up on.

I love you all. Truly. My family. My friends. My colleague’s who are both. Without you all there is no Allen, no nBucky, no FknBucky, no fight, no stories, and I owe all of you my life. Thank you.

FknBucky

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