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26
Apr
24

My Friend named Grandma

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Just boarded another airplane for another flight home.  I’ve done this dozens actually hundreds of times before, but today is different.  I’m flying home to say goodbye to one of my dearest friends.  I’m so thankful for the time I was able to spend with her and will remember all the wonderful conversations we had over the last 20 years.  For those of you that know me personally you know I have friends all over the world and I’ve been blessed to have so many of them.  This friend was all alone in her category simply because of her name.  Grandma.

I have always been close to my Dads father.  I was named after him and that was a small club to be in.  I probably don’t deserve his name as he was one of the greatest men I’ve ever known.  When he was 80 yrs old I watched him carry a large metal tub filled with corn down to the hog barn to feed the chickens.  Ha.  Just kidding.  There are pigs in the hog barn you fools!! When I would visit my Grandparents, Grandpa and I would sit at the table having tea and thoseamazing chocolate chip cookies only Grandma could make, while G-ma waited on us.  Naturally most of the conversation was between us men.  It was just the way it was.  I mean we all know the golden rule.  Women have to be quiet while the men are talking.

My Grandpa passed away 17 years ago and while back visiting Grandma she mentioned she is awake until 2-3 am most nights.  I started volunteering at the children’s hospital in San Diego around this time.  Every Tuesday night I would open and run a playroom for the kids to get out of their rooms and have some fun.   My drive home was 30-40m min and almost always after 9 PM.  I like to talk to people when I’m driving, but 9 PM is a little late to call friends to just say “hey”. One night I thought Grandma is awake, I’ll call her.  I called, she was up, and we had a great talk.  As time went on, week after week, I would continue to call G-ma on my drive home. She looked forward to it and so did I.  Something happened during those calls.  My Grandma became my friend.

She told me so many stories. How she first knew my Grandfather was the man she would marry.  He was at her place to help do some sort of work and as he left the house with the others, my grandma handed him a pair of gloves and their hands touched.  Not a quick touch, but long enough to gaze into each others eyes and decide I’m going to marry this person.  Simpler times.  A hand lingering just long enough to relay the message, but not too long to be creepy. 

She told me about her wedding day.  They were going to “honeymoon” in Waterloo planning to eat a fine dinner and then going to see a movie.  For reasons not discussed the young married couple were running late and had to smash a couple burgers quickly so they could still make the movie on time.  The best part was the happiness in her voice as she relived these memories with me.  I felt and still feel honored she shared these stories with me.  I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to know her so well. 

Grandma had so many pictures and was a rock within the family.  Doing all she could to keep the family together having family reunions and always encouraging everyone to let go of the anger, be open to kindness, and forgive when necessary.  It seems fitting that our whole family will be brought together one more time by Anna Pearl.  I can envision her and Grandpa (together again!) looking down at us all with smiles knowing they did their best for their family and I’m not alone when I say THANK YOU to both of them. 

Just part of Grandmas super army. Love you forever Grandma.

I will say this.  MAKE the time to talk with people you love.  None of us are that busy we can’t put forth the effort.  Well so and so never calls me, why should I reach out to them???  Why shouldn’t you??  Whatever happened let it go.  It isn’t worth dragging that anger anchor around with you.  Don’t you want to be free of this pissed off attitude that sucks up all your energy so you can stay mad???

I loved my Grandmother without question.  She was a remarkable woman.  All that came natural.  I’m happiest though knowing I took the time to make my amazing G-ma my best friend while I had the opportunity.  She taught me so many lessons that I will use the rest of my life.  Many times people will say I didn’t know what I had until it was gone.  I have learned very hard lessons that way, but this one time I got ahead of the game.  I made sure to appreciate my friend everyday. 

The world lost a bright shining light of a human, but heaven gained an angel that will forever be looking down at our families. 

That is what I wrote on the flight out.  I’m currently on the flight back to Charlotte. At the visitation I went by, but purposely didn’t look into the casket directly.  I used a bit of side eye, then closed my eyes, and said a private prayer between Anna Pearl and myself.  I didn’t want the vision of her in my head overwhelming all the happy mental pics I’ve taken of her during my life. 

My family is far from perfect.  My Grandma wasn’t perfect.  I am so far from Perphekt that I have to spell it wrong.  I might name one of my kids that actually….  Truth is like all families there is some drama and blah blah.  I don’t involve myself in that.  Some people need conflict and thrive on it.  I’m not one of those.  I prefer if something has your panties all wadded up, say something, get it off your chest, and then move on. 

The celebration of life was awesome.  Many of my family members made the trip home and we got to visit, laugh, and enjoy the moment.  Anna Pearl got us all together one last time.

We are all going to miss her, but I’ve promised myself to replay the great times in my head and share the advice, family history, and the wisdom my dear friend Grandma passed to me.

I love you Grandma and Grandpa.  So happy you are together again.  I promise to do my best to encourage everyone to drop the anchors and be happy again.  At this stage of the game no body is changing.  Just accept your family members for who they are and simply love them unconditionally.

Thank you,

FknBucky

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28
Mar
24

Small Battles

By Bucktown 3 Comments
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Booom. My life is hectic. I feel constantly busy, but I rarely think I get anything done. I am my own worst critic and that will never change. I spend a portion of each day doing for others that will never show up as “done” on my list, but it makes me feel good to make others smile. I share about 10% of what I actually do and I promise you will never know everything I do for others. Mainly because it isn’t your business, but you should know if hard times finds you, I will be one of the first to offer help. Sometimes that help is simply being a person to talk to. I have an ability to listen. I read the language of actions. I understand by mannerisms when someone wants advice or a different opinion compared to when someone just wants to let it out. Sometimes the best thing you can say is absolutely nothing.

I talk to all kinds of people everyday. I forget peoples names a lot because I talk to everyone. A fat funny guy in a wheelchair named Bucky is not an easy guy to forget. It is the cross I bear. I’m simply to awesome. I’m also very good looking and truth be told I am possibly the funniest human alive. Takes a lot of energy to be the coolest eff’ing person on the planet everyday, but somehow I get it done. Okay now that I’ve told my limit of lies for the day, let’s get to some truth. A couple I know recently had their first baby. I was very very excited for them, but something happened. I didn’t see them for a couple months and when I did it was clear something very bad happened. My heart broke.

I have seen them a few times and I still haven’t asked what happened. I never will. Someday they might tell me or they might not. Doesn’t matter. I still talk with them and after the first moment when I said “Something really bad happened, didn’t it??” They shook their heads yes and I instantly gave them both hugs and said “I love you”. That is it. When I see them now I talk about the weather, funny stories, and other stuff to help give their minds a break. They don’t need more people to look at them with pity and say “aaawwww I’m sorry”. I have an ability to make people feel good when they don’t. God gave me a gift and I do my very best to use it often.

You have to win small battles. Everyone deals with depression at some point in life. Bad shit happens to everyone. Every gender, race, income level, sexual preference, and whatever other labels you put on people. I make an effort to simply think of everyone as human and stop putting them into small categories. You should try it, but that is another blog.

What is a small battle Bucky?? Great question voice in my head. Yes I talk to myself and answer questions myself asks me. Here is a couple examples from my life. After I was paralyzed, life was hard. Physically it was harder to accomplish tasks and the mental battle I fought constantly was brutal. I could not flip a switch and be instant happy all day. I had to find little things to smile about everyday as stepping stones to get back to being my normal joyful self. These things just happened organically and were never forced. The song “Sanitarium” by Metallica was something my very close friends in high school loved and the beginning when the song goes bing ping we would always be like “EFF YEAH!!!!!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=luvv21ewfuk

I was rolling back to my car and that song came on. I had to smile. I thought about the times when it would play and we’d all get excited and pumped up. Maybe it sounds silly, but at that moment I was happy I lived thru the accident because if I had died there would be no more of those. Small battle. I love the ladies. I’ve always enjoyed the company of pretty women and that will never change. I was still in the hospital when we took an “outing” to the local mall. The occupational therapists take the new wheelchair people there to learn how to use an escalator and get around in public. A friend of mine was next to me as we were entering the mall. Two ladies got right in front of us and they both had that “Baby Got Back” thing going on. I looked at my friend and said “Hmmm guess it isn’t all bad”. My new height allowed me to stare at a lower level. Small battle.

I tell people often that it is okay to smile. It is okay to be happy. Just because some thing very tragic happened doesn’t mean you forfeit the right to smile. Trust me I get it. Trauma sucks. Getting paralyzed sucks. The reality is though when things like this happen there isn’t a redo button. You can’t wish it away. Being super sad and miserable will not erase it. It just doesn’t. I wish it did because I would be the first guy in line. If I could whine and bitch myself out of this wheelchair I’d start today. I am still working on the theory that if you eat Ice Cream 6 times a day it will make everything bad go away. It hasn’t reversed all the bad in my life, but I am fat now. So there is that.

You start with what you can control. That is your attitude. You have to be willing to let good in. A negative mind is closed for business. When your attitude is on board things begin to happen around you that will make you happy. These things will be small, but you notice them because you turned off the only allow negative in button. As long as you’re alive there is always hope for a better tomorrow. Hope alone won’t manifest it though. You have to work at it. Accept whatever it is and then start to find reasons to smile. I promise no matter what you’re dealing with, there is still great people around you, and events that will bring the positivity out of you.

I don’t have a problem right now Bucky. Good for you. That doesn’t mean you get to shut down. Quite the opposite actually. There is someone in your circle that is going thru something. Maybe they lost a pet, a family member, going thru divorce, or an illness. Make a scrapbook of their pet. Frame a nice photo of them with that family member. YOU have the power to change the world. We all do. Just have to use it. Be kind. Instead of always thinking about yourself think “What would I want someone to do if it was me going thru that??” Then do it. Help the person you love win a small battle. Then do it again tomorrow. Everyday. Never stop.

Do Yoga/Be Happy. Follow MishiahYoga on IG.

Want a better world?? Then make one. Become better. Don’t worry the world around you will follow.

FknBucky

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20
Feb
24

Justice?

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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I got a text about Noon telling me that Karina was in custody for the murder of Ryan Cooper. I’m a Traer boy at heart and honestly writing that sentence made me cry. I’m not afraid to admit that. There are a massive amount of emotions going on right now, but the hope is with someone being held accountable and with time people may start healing. Reality is these types of wounds never actually heal. Time goes by and people start to move on to other topics, but we’ll never forget or be whole again. A part of us was taken that can’t regrow or be replaced. The hurt will never fully go away even as time goes by and we start to talk about the price of beans, the road construction on D65, or the prick up the road that keeps tearing up the dirt road.

Truth is as much as I prayed that justice would come in this case, I realized today it doesn’t change the pain or make sense of this BS. We were all robbed of an amazing friend, brother, son, father, and the world was better and happier with Ryan a part of it. He will never be forgotten. That is a fact. He is still here with us thru the children he was taken from. I pray everyone remembers they are the ultimate victims in all of this. Please talk with your kids about how crazy this situation is and make sure they understand how their words can help or hurt so choose them very wisely. I can’t imagine dealing with the nightmare they’ve been given at NO FAULT of their own. Life is not fair on levels I didn’t realize were possible.

I’ve had a good number of friends reach out to me and all of them say the same thing. The hurt is like this just happened yesterday. I meant the words I wrote 2.5 years ago the brotherhood one becomes a member of living in a small town. The Busch Light brotherhood I called it. Membership can’t be bought, it can only be earned. It is lifetime membership with annual dues being make sure you have a big cooler of beer ready to go once the work is done.

My thoughts and prayers are with his family. I know they will most likely read this and I hope they understand how much Ryan touched my life, he was loved, and appreciated by many others. I spoke with another friend today who was asked to testify this morning about Ryan. She told me that she said “You can ask anyone in Traer or anyone that knew Ryan, there isn’t a person on Earth that had issues with him. There was no fighting, no running of the mouth, and simply just a great man that could be relied on no matter what it was he agreed to do. I have met thousands of people in my life. NOT one can be compared to Coop.

I don’t know what will happen in court. I do say let the rule of law take its course. This event only proves once again that evil exists in the world. I don’t know why. Heaven or Hell, Good or Bad, God or Satan, BIg Bang Theory and not Big Bang Theory. Whatever you believe doesn’t change the fact that evil is around us everyday. Some people get very good at hiding it. There is no reasoning, no explanations to be had, and simply the hard truth tells us that it is real.

Ryan didn’t deserve this evil done to him and we all know that. His kids should have their father still. It makes me beyond angry to think of how unfair this is. He should be old and gray watching grandkids open Christmas presents. I can see him in his den surrounded by toy tractors on the wall, some deer mounts from successful hunts, and of course a 1:8 scale cattle hauler that cost as much as his first car on display that everyone knows isn’t for playing with. Well not until Grandpa had his special drinks and ends up on the floor playing farm with the young ones.

I am surprised at how fresh these feelings of hurt are. We appreciate the small town for many things. Knowing people your whole life, your kids and their kids go to school together, and eventually your grandkids and their grandkids go to school together. There is a feeling of safety in a small town and it brings comfort to us knowing everyone. The downside is when something really really tragic happens it affects everyone. This is that. This hurts everyone. I believe the police have done their job and done it well. They didn’t cave to people screaming we want justice now, but slowly built up a solid case against Karina. She is innocent until proven guilty, but I will not be donating to her defense fund.

I say this to my Busch Light brothers and sisters. Please don’t let your anger and hatred dim the shining light Ryan brought to us all. His memory should not be tainted by this evil human that abused his love, manipulated his trust, and stole a father from his children. I will choose to remember him flipping me off from the cab of that cattle hauler. Twice he got me. The snapchats he sent telling me he smelled like money when I said he was covered in shit. He deserves that. For all of us to remember him for who he was and not for how he was taken away.

Give hugs to people you love and then tell them “I love you.”

I don’t know what else to say. I just have a lot of emotions and writing is how I deal with things I can’t process yet. I know I’m not alone in that.

FknBucky

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21
Jan
24

Screw your structure

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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Sunday. My favorite day of the week. It is for many reasons, but the stress free morning on Sunday makes it something to look forward to. Unless you are hungover from a late Saturday night and promised a cute nice girl you would be at 9 AM service for church. That is never me because I don’t date women that go to church. This is by choice. Their choice. Clearly. 

I make one heck of a first impression showing up with FknBucky t-shirts for Mom and Dad, making sure I tell a joke about how her Mom needs an XL to fit over those massive boobs she paid for 7 years ago. This comment always goes over well so make sure you say it loud as you grab a beer from the fridge. Then tell her Dad he needs to buy better beer and a lot more of it cause you like to get your drink on while watching the football game. To help round out this day of first impression be sure to include her 15 year old brother by calling him a pansy for saying no when you asked him to shotgun a beer with you. Almost done now. One last thing to do before you claim victory in awesomeness. Tell her 13 year old sister that “Damn gurl, you’re going to be hot in a couple years once your boobs grow in and you no longer need to wear the padded bra!!” 

First impressions are so much fun. Clearly I’m an expert. The Packers game yesterday was so much fun to watch. That team is going to be a contender for many years so Detroit if you are going to win a championship, do it now. You’ll be dominated by GB for the next 15 years. hahaha. I would be worried about offending some Detroit Lions fans, but everyone knows people from Detroit don’t know how to read. I had a point earlier that I was planning to get to, but maybe I forgot what it was. Actually no maybe about it, I can’t remember what I was thinking about earlier. 

Jessica Alba is just hot. Always makes me smile.. 🙂

Maybe there doesn’t need to be a clear point. Maybe sometimes in life you have to just wing it and take what the world is sending to you. The more you try to control everything the more disappointed you will be in life. It is that simple. I go thru phases. Sometimes I’m just smiling with the “ef it” attitude and other times I have this vision of what everything should look like and I bust my ass trying to force that vision on others and force it to become reality for me. Hmmm I needed to hear that. I’m trying to force things in life right now. I gotta remember my own advice. I don’t try to fake it with you wonderful people that read my words. We are in this together. Having the answers only helps if you use that knowledge. Knowing better and doing better are not the same thing.

Remember this. Life is more enjoyable when it isn’t planned out. Life is hard when you don’t have a plan. To be a person of character means you have to be a person of structure. To be a good human to those you love, you have to be wiling to drop everything at a moments notice to do something dumb and crazy. WTF Bucky?? Exactly. It will never make perfect sense. LIfe is hard. It is painful. It is unfair. The good die too early. Bad people will win sometimes. I’m going to throw a nice bow on this blog for you just because I love you.

As you can see, I searched Bob vs Fun TIme. This is what I got.

Enjoy the moments. If you get 3 hours of laughter with friends/family, CHERISH it. Don’t leave early. Don’t worry about the report due tomorrow at work. Ef that report. Be present in the fun time. It doesn’t happen often so simply enjoy it. Don’t throw shade bringing up old crap to Bob from 8 years ago. Bob is a penis head. Everyone knows that. Don’t let him ruin fun time. Let nothing ruin fun time. Enjoy what you have RIGHT now. There is always a chance it will be gone tomorrow.

FknBucky

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Subcribe to the podcast. I’m telling you now I’m going to make it work. I’ve never in life felt so sure about anything. I will not allow myself to fail. Not because I want money and fame, but simply because I want to become the man it will force me to be to enable me to be successful. That is the true reward. Are your goals leading you towards being a better person?? — Another blog coming soon.

17
Jan
24

The Power of Heated Steering Wheel

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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What is going on here?? I started this blog before the Iowa Caucus so that is why I’m talking about Vivek. Just because he dropped out doesn’t mean I don’t like him anymore. I’m grateful I took the time to listen to him. As genuine a person you will find. 

I try hard to stay out of politics, but I could not resist talking about Vivek. The man intrigues me and truth be told, I like him. My liking him has nothing to do with him getting elected or what your opinion should be of him. I promise not to harp on this particular subject to often, but I want to take you on a written word drive right now. Buckle up!! You just might learn to use that head of yours for more than a Busch Light entry hole.

It is cold. Thanks for pointing out some obvious crap Bucky, you might say. I had an appointment with my go to Asian masseuse this morning so I had to head out around 8 am. I bought a minivan a few years ago so I could drive the wheelchairs and equipment I sell around. I thought about getting a “cooler” car, but truth is I can not pick up girls in a minivan just as good as I can not pick them up in a Porsche Cayenne. I really want one, someday I’ll be able to afford a poster of one to put above my bed or something. My minivan is cool though it has tinted windows, spilled chips, and my personal favorite smells like whatever Annie rolled in yesterday. 

The minivan has a heated steering wheel. I’d never heard of such a thing to be honest and didn’t even realize it was there when I bought the van. One day it was cold and I used the auto start. When I got into the van and started driving I thought “Ooooo, that’s nice…”. There is a point, just hang on. Last I’ve thought about it. It is normal now. I was looking at new vans last night just because and found one I liked with low miles. Looking at the options on it, I noticed there was no heated steering wheel, and that meant it was a no go. That option is simply too good to give up in my tiny human brain.

Now. Let’s look at something else. Power. It is better than drugs. Making people do things because you have power over them. A boss. A parent. A tough guy. A politician. Hmmm interesting now eh.. A boss can be fired. A parent can only rule 18 years. A tough guy, well there is always someone tougher. A politician only needs to manipulate your tiny brain every few years. You see the power they acquire is like my heated steering wheel. They can’t give it up. Seemingly good people corrupt themselves in the name of “helping you”, helping me, helping the guy that can’t help himself. They remind themselves how important and smart they are. You would be lost without them so that justifies hanging onto that power no matter what it takes.

They say “This is good for you, trust me!” Nope. My BS meter goes off anytime someone says this is good for you. How do you know what is good for me? You aren’t me. You’re not my spouse, best friend, or at the very least someone that knows what color Tommy John I got on today. These boxer briefs are like heaven. Worth every penny even though I shoplift mine. As long as you’re under $1,000 they don’t prosecute. Hey don’t blame me. You keep voting these idiots into power. I had to Bucky, the TV told me the other guy was racist and killed gays on the weekend. Just knowing your level of stupid exists makes me feel better about myself.

Every year the power these folks have becomes more and more addicting. For Big Bangs sake why do we have senators that are 90 some years old?? WHY??? 50 years in public service. I have another beef there. Public service my butt. Why you worth 200 million when you started out broke?? Job only pays $150,000 a year. I don’t blame the politicians. I blame you. I blame me. My parents. Your parents. Our neighbors. We allow it to happen over and over and over….. As long as they have a D or an R by their name they are on my side. Here is the truth. You don’t have a side. 

So money and power. Hmmm thank baby Jesus (Just watched Talladaga nights) that money and power have never corrupted good people in the history of mankind. Clearly the 700 folks that have it would never do anything questionable to keep it. They lie to your face. They manipulate facts to push their agenda. They suppress video evidence. They lose emails. They hide behind this and that. They kill Jeff. There is nothing they won’t do to keep the power, the money, and the opportunity for MORE. 

I just wanted a heated steering wheel. My brain went all crazy blaming my steering wheel wishes on corrupt politicians. Now I will get a cold wheel and get rid of power steering to try and save my soul.

Stop following, trusting, and believing in people because “they” tell you to. 

READ the language of actions.

LISTEN to what they don’t say.

WATCH who benefits from what they do.

FknBucky

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04
Jan
24

A little VIVEK never hurt anybody!

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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The world. Crazy place. I simply love it. All of it. The good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, the wrong, the good, the right, the people, the differences in all of us, and truth be told I want to experience ALL of it. I always have. I thrive in chaos. Many people do not. I’ve learned this about myself simply because I’ve been brave enough to be myself most of my adult life. I don’t make apologies for being who I am. Instead I think about my actions and words before I do or say them to make sure I’m not hurting someone. I don’t care about offending people, but I have no desire to hurt them. 

I have my own views and opinions, but I’ve tried to not make this blog political. I don’t pretend to know what you have gone thru in life and how you come to the place you are now. Left, Right, Center, or whatever is your business. I respect that and only ask you respect where I am. We’ve lost a lot of respect in that last 10 years. Maybe the internet. Maybe Trump. Maybe not. I will not blame one person for the actions of millions. That is simply put, stupid. I think Tyson is right when he says the world changed when we can’t punch people in the face for being a prick. Now they film it and put on YouTube.com for content. 

I’m visiting family in Iowa for Christmas. We did Christmas late this year and it has been very good. Nothing like being around family and people that love you unconditionally to recharge the batteries before taking on the new year. I encourage everyone that has “beef” in their family to find a way to settle it and move on. Life is too short to hold onto anger. For any reason. Hug it out and move on. It is that simple.

Yesterday I went to see Vivek Kiaswamaineiayashydeyalkda. He is running for President as a republican. No one had heard of this guy 6 months ago. Now his big forehead and amazingly beautiful wife are taking Iowa by storm. His schedule is insane. I respect how hard he is working to earn the trust of voters here. If you have not met him or gone to see him speak DO NOT speak negatively about him. You can dislike his ideas, but to question his character and love for America is truly unfair. I mean that about his bride. She is a smoke show and crazy smart as well. I was able to ask the first question yesterday, but before I did that I said “I believe everyone here can agree that you married WAY up!!” The room laughed and everyone felt a bit more eased. Never underestimate the power of laughter.

This man is genuine. To the core. No one contacted me before I showed up. It was a very small venue with probably 30 ish people there. I say this because he talked about who he is and what he thinks should be done to help this country become stronger. I was able to ask a question. No one coached me or anyone else. Vivek stood there with no prep and answered in a very honest direct way. I say this to you, go see for yourself. Please go see for yourself. He has big ideas, and truthfully I’d love to see him get a chance. If we want to just continue to do things simply because that is how it has always been done then why have elections at all?? You don’t lose weight by making ZERO changes to your life. Darn it Bucky!! I want to lose weight so bad, but I can’t exercise because I’m lazy. Change my diet??? No chance. Birthday cake isn’t going to eat itself so I make sure to have 7 pieces on everyone’s birthday. 

Okay. I wrote the above yesterday. I went to see him again today in Toledo, Iowa. He was late. Turns out he had a campaign stop one mile from the school shooting that happened in Perry, IA this AM. Eff’ng cowards are what these people are. No more no less. They are weak, stupid, crap bag, coward humans that we should forget existed. Don’t say their name and let them burn in hell where they belong. They don’t shoot up the local courthouse. The police station. The NRA meeting. An IRS building. Nope because those places have experienced people with weapons. Why in the heck do our schools not have experienced competent people with guns ready and willing to protect our most prized possessions?? I’m going to write more about this tomorrow.

This photo of Jessica is a reminder to never Google search BLOATED CORPSE. Bad Bad idea.

Our government is a bloated corpse. It is slow, stupid, and full of needless crap. It is crazy. We just allow it to happen like mindless zombies. We blame the Republicans or the Democrats, but you my friend are the one to blame. I am to blame. Our parents are at fault. We let this happen and still let it happen. Take the patient on Dr Pimple Popper. They come in with a massive growth on their head. We see it and think WTF, why didn’t you do something??? They say “oh I just didn’t have time.” You didn’t have time to cut the ginormous growth growing out of your ear off?? What the heck else did you have to do??? Seems like that should have been a priority. That is us. We are too stupid, lazy, and scared to cut the useless growth off of our ear. Don’t point the finger at politicians that did things YOU let them do!!!

This government is an outdated laptop. When your computer/phone starts acting crazy you shut it down and restart. Simple. Well we don’t do that with our laptop government. We simply buy a new outside case that looks shiny. All fixed. The important parts still run slow, stupid, and no chance of changing. Oh well. Let’s just put a D on the new case and blame the R’s! 8 years later. Put that shiny new R case on. 

I encourage you all to take the time to actually listen to this man. His message is crazy. So crazy it might just work. 

Home
Www.Vivek2024.com

He talks and believes he can unite the country. WE ALL WANT THE SAME THINGS!! Safe environment for our children. Good roads to drive on. Good jobs to work at. FREEDOM to say what we want. Freedom to fail and freedom to succeed. Police that protect all citizens and chase criminals, not political opponents. This country used to cheer for people with big crazy ideas. Somehow the idea of speaking up is now reason to be canceled. “Don’t you dare talk against anything I say you racist, fascist, misogynistic, gay hater, trans hater, people hater, happy hater, tree hater, grass hater, drug hater, water hater, oil hater, windmill hater, bird hater, meat hater, veggie hater, and all the other haters.” 

Stop for one moment. Think to yourself. Have I gotten wrapped up in all this hate?? Why do I hate X?

The answer is you shouldn’t hate anything. It is wasted energy. Stop listening to people that use you. Anyone that tells you to hate something should be cut from your life immediately. They are toxic.

I truly love you all. Treat each other well regardless of your politics. We are more alike than we differ. It is time to start there.

FknBucky

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I haven’t decided who I will support yet, but I will give my opinion on anyone I want to. I’m very glad I took the time to listen to Vivek in person. I encourage you to do the same. 

18
Nov
23

On the Edge

By Bucktown 2 Comments
Categories: Uncategorized
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I think I am just going to make every blog start with, it has been a while since I’ve posted on here….. Life is chaos. Mine is certainly full. I try hard to be enough for everyone I know, but I feel as though I constantly fall short and let people down. It is never my intention to fall short of expectations, but it still happens. I recently watched the movie “Dog” with Channing Tatum. I bet that guy wakes up everyday and says “Darn it, why can’t I be handsome like FknBucky??” Ahhh my twenties. Good days.

Don’t worry this entire blog is not going to be about how flipping good looking I am. Although it would make for some great reading. Nope, not today. I take Annabel out for a couple runs just about every day. She knows the route by heart and once I give the green light she takes off like a race car doing the quarter mile. She simply can’t get there fast enough. Where is there??? That is a great question.

We have checkpoints I created since she was a puppy. The easiest ones are streets. She can’t cross a street EVER unless I say okay. She will run to the very tip of the sidewalk. One more inch and she would be technically in the street so she doesn’t cross that line, but still gets as close to it as dogginly possible. Some people get freaked out at this, but I’ve learned to trust her. That line will not be crossed until I give permission. The word is “okay”, that gives permission to run ahead to the next checkpoint. I test her sometimes by yelling “Open”, “Almost”, and other similar sounding words. She flinches, but realizes those are not the right word and will sit and wait. Quite impressive.

The edge. One paw almost touching. I used to get almost upset in the beginning, but as I mentioned I trust her now so it doesn’t bother me anymore. In fact we had a conversation about it. I asked “Annie, why do you insist on being on the very edge??” She replied “The view is better.”

Think on that for a moment. I’m a great view kind of guy. I enjoy the edge. It makes me feel alive. To be safe, but close enough to the danger that I can smell it, taste it, and reach out and touch it if I wanted to. I’ve always been that way, but like everyone I had to grow up to properly know who I am. In life I don’t have time to waste so I’m flying to the next checkpoint as fast as possible, giving myself time to enjoy the view from the edge. Once the slow pokes finally catch up we all start again, but they never see the view I just witnessed because they just keep moving at that snail pace never realizing they missed out on something remarkable, beautiful, and many times life changing.

I remember a time we were driving around the mountains in Colorado on a Sunday afternoon. Nothing to do besides tell jokes and mess with each other. We stopped a few times to check out some views. One was on a very tall cliff. I’m sure something like a thousand feet down. We had four in the group, but only two of us ventured to the edge. Right on it. I stood there with my friend as the adrenaline started to pump understanding an inch or two separated me from certain death. I wasn’t scared. I was alive. The view was more gorgeous and precious. The moment went from nothing to a memory I’ll never forget as I stepped closer and closer to the edge. The other two guys were 20 ft behind us literally shaking with fear just thinking about being where I was. It was one of the first moments of my life that fear became a noun.

I understand who I am. I take risks. I enjoy the edge. I like the view. You have to figure out you. Don’t stand on the edge unless you are willing to accept the consequences. There is always a price to pay.

Whether you are in the front, middle, or back is up to you. Just be sure wherever you end up that you take time to enjoy the moment with those around you. When you feel your life is in chaos remember to control the only thing you always have control of. Your attitude.

FknBucky

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10
Sep
23

No Bad Kids

By Bucktown 4 Comments
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The world is a crazy place. Different cultures, different people, different color of people, different languages, different trees, different crops, different laws, and on and on. I spent my early years getting picked on daily by the other kids at school. I’ve talked about this before. I hated it. I felt alone all the time. I was around people just like me, but somehow I was not part of the group. No differences, but clearly we were not the same. It sucked.

It was also a major blessing. These experiences made me appreciate friendships on a massive level. Not having something makes a person appreciate it more once they get it. Hence why working for something is better than someone giving it to you, but that is a message for another day. My appreciation for friendships allowed to make thousands of friends over the years. Young, old, white, black, Mexicans, Germans, Asians, gay, straight, and blah blah blah.

Having all these different points of view has been very educational for myself and I’m very thankful for that. The other side is I know a lot of people that pass away. Someday it will be me. We all go sometime so work hard to be a person remembered for the right reasons. I lost a friend this week who should be remembered by the world for things you don’t know about and it is a shame. She was an amazing human and I’m a better person because of the conversations we had. I was young when I met her as one of my friends dated her Granddaughter so when we went over there she would talk with us.

We drank beer and she allowed it because knew we would be safe there and she knew if she didn’t we would have gone out driving around. The lesser of two evils I suppose. She took care of her two granddaughters for reasons that aren’t your business or mine for that matter. I wish I was able to talk and see them as I will always care and love them, but life happens and we all get busy with the paths we have taken. Some great times and memories of those days. Sitting there at times I would find myself talking with Leona about all types of stuff. She didn’t like the drinking, but instead of screaming NO like a crazy person she would ask “Why do you think you need the beer??”

That type of conversation was foreign to me. If my Dad didn’t want me to do something he told me he would kill me if I did it again. Sometimes that worked and sometimes a it made me learn how to hide it better. I would struggle to answer her question because no one ever asked me a question like that before and actually cared about my answer. I had no idea how important those conversations were while I was having them, but later in life I would reflect on them and become very grateful for those lessons.

I assumed I was a “bad” kid because I didn’t follow the rules like other kids my age. It is easy to allow these thoughts into your mind, but extremely hard to get out once you’ve allowed them to set up shop. That goes for all negative thoughts you tell yourself. Leona explained to me that “There are no bad kids.” There are bad parents, bad environments, bad decisions, bad leaders, bad preachers, bad schools, and bad all kinds of stuff. No bad kids though.

To completely write off a child is a crap thing to do. To look at a kid and say you’re not worth fighting for is borderline evil. As humans we can do better. Some kids might say “Eff your kindness, I’m going to go rob someone”, but that doesn’t mean we stop trying for all the rest of them. My opinion of myself changed the night I had this conversation with her and thankfully I never forgot the lesson. Anyone that knows me can tell you that I will do anything to help a kid. That wasn’t natural instinct on my part, it was a piece of wisdom that Leona gave me. Her legacy will live on every time I don’t give up on a kid just because they or someone they know thinks they are “bad”.

It has been over 20 years since I’ve seen her although I did send X-Mas cards a few times. You never know what you can learn from a person if you don’t take the time to get to know them. If you want to be wise and a person of substance you must talk to people outside of your circle. I hope she knows just how much I respected her and that she changed my thought process in life for the better. I could not even begin to count the lives I’ve been able to improve using the philosophy Leona so graciously gave me. It took years for those comments to actually mean something to me, but once I understood what she meant the world around me changed.

It became much less about me and it caused me to understand that I could make a difference in the world one person at a time. It becomes addicting. To help. To see someone succeed when their whole world told them they couldn’t. I’ve already overcame so much in my own life. I know the formula. It isn’t a secret. One simply has to wake up and say “Not today MoFO” and then go out to the world with a smile that can’t be broken. I’m good. Now I concentrate on helping others see that for themselves. I have no number of lives changed except for this. As many as I possibly can. If my whole life goes by and I only help one person it will be worth it. That one person might change the lives of thousands because I helped him/her on their way.

You have no idea how many lives you change for the better. Or for the worse. Maybe Leona only affected my life, but I would say her legacy is a massive one. What will your legacy be??

No Bad Kids. I will always be in your debt Leona.

FknBucky

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30
Aug
23

Apple Cinnamon Roll

By Bucktown 3 Comments
Categories: Uncategorized
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What up?? I have so many things to write about causing them to be all mixed together in my head. Maybe that is why I’m crazy. Or maybe it is still the simple fact that I live for chaos. The right kind of chaos of course. I follow politics pretty closely, but decided a few years ago I wouldn’t harp on it in my blog. The main reason is I need a break from all that BS and my overall goal is not to make you think like me. I already have that covered. Your TV won’t tell you that though. You have to agree with this side or you’re a ____. No you have to believe us or you’re a ____. Be yourself. Think for yourself. Most importantly learn for yourself. Don’t just accept what some a-hole on TV tells you. They have an AGENDA!

The thing is their agenda doesn’t matter in the real world. At least it should not. People screaming they will leave the country if this person gets elected or that person are eff’ing idiots and unfortunately never actually leave. All that talk is pointless BS that doesn’t make the world better. Learn to read the language of actions and in doing so you’ll be able to see people for who they really are. Now take inventory on your actions. Actions you are doing that will not make the world better should be stopped.. Sitting down on a road stopping people from going to work is not making the world better. Lucky for you I have an example. Why?? Because I love to make the world better.

Yesterday I made apple cinnamon rolls from scratch. I made homemade caramel to pour over them before and after baking. My first attempt at these ended up on the floor. It was about 11 PM and I was adding flour to the yeast mix and BLAM. I get a powerful spasm in my back and stomach which causes me to throw the bowl. Both of them. One with the eggs, butter, yeast, and the other a large bowl of flour. One big spasm and it was on me. The floor. My counter. It covered my trash can and the rug I have by the door. Now at 11:15 PM, I had a ginormous mess to clean and no cinnamon roll dough. It wasn’t Trumps or Bidens fault. Remember that.

Stupid mess. It took forever to clean. The ingredients mix together better when they are room temp, but I only set out enough to make the dough once. I did not plan ahead in case I had a “Timmy” moment and threw the bowl of almost dough against my wall. I had to clean myself, my wheelchair, the walls, the cupboards, you name it. At this point you may ask why was I baking these stupid cinnamon rolls anyway? Great question. Answer is: I just wanted to do something kind. I planned to take them into the rehab hospital for the PT and OT’s that work there. No special occasion, no birthday, nothing except I wanted to make some people smile while eating 10,000 calories per bite.

When is the last time you did something to give others a smile?? Take cookies in for co-workers?? Mow your neighbors lawn?? Go down and play checkers with the people in the nursing home?? Nope not you. You’re too busy arguing politics online with some moron you’ve never met in person. By the way that is the biggest waste of energy and time ever. When you are on your deathbed will you think “Damn, I wish I spent more time online arguing with people I didn’t know??”

No you won’t. I say stop it. Just stop being a creator of negative. Here is a piece of FknBucky advice or wisdom. Liberal, Conservative, Gay, Straight, Non-binary, Black, White, Trans, Lesbian, Fag, Midget, Disabled, fat, stupid, Man, Woman, Birthing person, or any of the other labels you choose to hide behind. Not me. I am a human. That is it. As for all that other crap. I DON’T EFF’ING CARE. I don’t judge you on those labels so why tell me?? Just shut up and make some awesome cinnamon rolls.

I wake up everyday and decide to have a positive attitude. Doesn’t always work, but I try. I remind myself to at least one act of kindness everyday for no reward. I just want other people to feel special and loved in this crazy world. If more people spent their time doing random acts of kindness the world would change overnight. Go watch a sunset. Just put your phone down and watch natures show. Wake up early and watch the sunrise. Listen to a storm. No facebook, Instagram, and no phone. Put the phone down and have tea party with your daughter. Take your nephews indoor skydiving. Let a little girl hold your service dog while you eat lunch. Pay for a strangers meal without telling them. Give someone a hug (not the creepy kind). Give someone a compliment. Be a friend to someone that needs one.

It isn’t the governments job to make the world better. It is YOURS!

FknBucky

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I don’t share these things to make people say “you’re so nice Bucky”. Truth is I don’t care about all that. I simply want to inspire others to do similar things.

21
Feb
23

Smiles are free

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
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Been a minute my friends. I’ve started a few blogs but decided against publishing. There are times when I try to force something out, but I can see thru it and I imagine those of you that take the time to read my blogs (I truly love and thank all of you) will also notice. I respect you enough to not give you mediocre content. That being said if I made more time to blog, the ideas and inspirations are endless so it falls on me to write more. A couple weeks ago I had a couple kids come visit me here in North Carolina. I was honored that 18 year old young adults would take a 5 day vacation to come spend time with “Uncle Bucky” a role I always take seriously. I love getting to talk smack with them and sprinkle in some wisdom from time to time. My door is always open to just about anyone. If you are a thief don’t bother. I can’t stand people that steal. Ever.

While driving home from Myrtle Beach we got into some deeper conversations and I relayed a story to them. One I have not talked about in a long time, but even thinking of it now I get a bit water eyed. I may have blogged it a few years ago, buy I can’t remember. I was teaching therapists at the local hospital on how to use a specific piece of equipment. A co-worker from the home office in Florida flew up to train with me and we spent the entire day training group after group. We took about an hour for lunch and just went to the cafeteria. The line was long, but moving at a good pace. I like everyone love to people watch so while in line I’m scanning the room. There is a good chance I know someone in the room because I know just about everyone and almost everyone knows Bucky.

Not this time. I did notice a little girl that was about 8 years old eating lunch with her Mom. She was hooked up to multiple machines and was clearly sick with something severe. I hate seeing this, but it is reality. She locked eyes with Murphy and it was game over. I looked at my co-worker and told him “There are more important matters to deal with so just grab me whatever you order” and left my place in line. I took Murphy over to this young lady and asked if she wanted to say hello. If you have never seen “stuck in hospital connected to machine little girl smile while dog petting” you can’t understand how powerful that moment is. It is something you will never forget for the rest of your life. Remember life isn’t about you, it is about what YOU do for others.

Mom said thank you quietly, but I can read lips well enough to hear it. My friend came by with the sandwiches and we found a table about 20 feet away. My new friend still had her eyes locked on Murphy like a Bears quarterback to the Number 1 receiver. Everyone in the stadium knows where the ball is going. My crazy Bucky mind had an idea. I put my sandwich down and rolled back over to my new best friend. I told her I had a problem, and said “I am having a tough time because I can’t hold onto Murphy and eat my food. Would you mind holding her for a while so I can eat lunch?” Remember the smile I just told you about. I got one twice as big and right in front of me I watched this little person fill with happiness and life. She asked very wide eyed “Really??” As I watched her Mom start to cry. It was a very awesome moment in my life. I created it. I could have easily waited in line, ordered a sandwich I actually liked (my co-worker eats crap food), and went along with my life. Instead because I pay attention and cherish opportunities like this a few strangers had a much better day.

Like many other times I had a completely different idea for this blog, but felt like this story should be told. I don’t share so people can say “Bucky you’re so kind blah blah” because I don’t need that. I’ve said it before and will again, I promise you will never know how many things I do for others. My biggest hope to inspire others to do the same. There is a feeling you get when you are kind to strangers just because it is the right thing to do. It is addicting. Imagine a world addicted to that instead of crack, heroin, alcohol, sex, stealing, vaping, and all the other crap behavior we have as humans.

Be present and recognize the moment. Understand that giving someone a smile is more beneficial than handing them $20. $20 can be gone very quickly, but a smile and happy memory can last a lifetime. It can be passed on to others countless times creating more and more smiles. People you will never know could be smiling right now because of the smile chain you started. That is real power., we all have it inside of us, and it cost nothing to use.

I promise if you simply take a moment to look around there is someone near you that needs someone to say “I care”, “the world cares”, “you are not alone”, or something like “where you born that ugly or do you have to work at it??”. Crack jokes. Mess with people. One quick note and I’m done today. I took my out of town visitors to the indoor skydiving place here in Charlotte. I was busting balls the whole time cause that is what I do. The guys working there said “you’ve been here before”. It was 3 plus years ago, but yes I had been there before. He says I remember the sense of humor.

Be yourself and be memorable.

Love who you are today because tomorrow is not guaranteed.

FknBucky

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