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22
Jan
22

Find Some Beauty

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Happy Saturday friends. I woke up to 2” of snow again here in Charlotte. It is actually kind of fun and with my ”Companion” power add on I was able to take the same route as most days to walk the pup. She loves the snow. It is fun to watch her. Some of my friends made fun of me for buying her little boots to wear, but all of those friends will now have a rash because I paid a witch doctor to put a curse on them. The truth is who gives a shit what other people think. I’ve spent most of my life not giving an F. Without boots Annie is outside for maybe 5 min, but with them we spent almost an hour outside. She was happy. My face and hands have permanent frostbite and there is a good chance I’m actually frozen to my wheelchair. Dog is stoked though. If worrying about what others think makes you have a miserable 5 minute session in the snow compared to a super fun almost hour in the snow then it would seem an easy choice is upon you.

The other night I found some slushy ice in my apartment parking lot. It was in a part that gets very little sunlight and a good 4’ wide section behind the cars parked there. I was able to ”fishtail” my wheelchair using the scooter wheel thing. It was around 9 PM and I was laughing my ass off. It was so much fun. I turned around and did it again, and again, and again. I finally stopped when I went a little to far and almost flipped out of my chair. I was still laughing though. I’m sure people watching me do this think I’m insane, but I’m used to that.

I am not sure what I want to flip this all into. Getting around in a wheelchair with ice/snow,sleet is not easy. It would be very easy to allow this ruin my day, but I don’t. Why would I allow something I have zero control over ruin my attitude for the day?? I believe we all need to ask ourselves that question. It is okay to smile when the world is crumbling around you. It is okay to love someone full of hate. It is okay to forgive someone without making them feel like complete crap first. The world is full of beauty. It is everywhere. You just have to look for it.

The world is also full of crap. Loads of it. For some reason humans choose to see this world on a daily basis and I don’t understand why. They listen to the crap spewed out on TV. The pandemic, the evil republicans/democrats, the never ending drama, and all the other BS you allow into your head. This next sentence is important so pay attention. Make the choice to see the beauty all around you. Actively look for it instead of jumping on top of the first pile of crap you see. You don’t get it Bucky. There is nothing beautiful in my life. I don’t believe that simply because you are there, you are beautiful, and if you can’t see the beauty then create it.

When you create something beautiful the world gets a little bit better. Then next person that comes into that space will not focus on the pile of crap, but they will see you, the beauty that you are, and focus on the beauty you manifested. They will add to it. Creating a bigger beauty and soon with enough people the pile of crap will no longer exist. Don’t worry about what others are thinking. Be yourself, be kind to others, and actively work to make the world better every single day. When you do this I promise your life will change, the people around you will change, and this is how we change the world.

Don’t wait for someone else to do it. Stop fearing what other people will think. Be silly. Smile and wear the booties. Do some fishtailing in your wheelchair. Train yourself to see the beauty and not focus on the crap.

FknBucky

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P.S. I still have shirts. Hit me up.

15
Jan
22

A Kick in the Ass

By Bucktown 2 Comments
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Saturday night. I have playoff football playing in the background. I have another wheelchair I need to put together, but keep avoiding it because it is going to be a pain in the butt. I know better than to put things off that need to be done, but it is supposed to snow tomorrow here in Charlotte which means the city will be closed down for a few days. I believe it is going to be a lot of ice so I have no reason to drive around in that crap. I trust myself but I have zero confidence in the other drivers here in the South.

Sad to see Bob Saget pass away. We all grew up watching full house. I still remember seeing Bob do stand up comedy on HBO for the first time. I was blown away at how dirty he was. He was way beyond controversial. A few times I was even thinking ”Damn you can’t say that”, but he did say it and I loved him for it. I love people that say whatever they want. The ones that are always offended can piss off. You’re boring. Nobody wants to walk on your eggshells.

Bob had a chance to make a lot of money being a TV Dad and he took it. Can’t fault him for that although some do. It is different times now though with Instagram, Tik Toc, twitter, and all the other ways dumb drunk kids tell on themselves. Thank God there were no video cameras around when I was young although I was able to make myself memorable most times without pics or video. Only 1 FknBucky on the planet and you knew when you met him. My goal is to continue writing this year and find ways to get my blog out to the masses. It starts with writing more. I get ideas for blogs, but have been lacking in the follow thru department. You can’t chase dreams sitting still.

Whatever it is you want, you have to go get it. Everything is achievable if you are willing to put in the work. You don’t get to live your dream if you crush 12 beers every night. Well unless your dream is to crush 12 busch lights every night. Then you’ve made it friend. I hope your dreams are a bit bigger than this. I mean if you want to dream go for it all!!! 18 Busch Lights a night!! I believe in you. The truth is you have to be working when others aren’t. No matter what it is you desire, I guarantee you there are 100 other humans on Earth chasing the same thing. When you quit at 5 pm everyday, there is someone else pushing till 6 pm, 7 pm, all night.

My dream is to travel and write. I am going to make it. I see myself doing it already. If you can’t see me reaching all of my goals you don’t know me very well. I get down on myself, have hard times, doubt myself, and say F it I’m done. I don’t though. I don’t quit, I have my pity moment and then I get back to the grind. I’m thinking I wrote this blog for myself. I needed a kick in the ass. We all need an extra push from time to time. That is why great friends are important to have or a wonderful wife that is willing to physically harming you to make sure you get out of bed and chase that dream…..

RIP Bob — I’m willing to bet wherever Bob Saget is, he is hitting on Betty White right now. Play on Playa!!

FknBucky

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03
Dec
21

Tragedy and Smiles

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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I want to share a story with you today. A very important one that I hope will open your eyes, your heart, and help motivate you to count your blessings instead of constantly wishing for more. There is a club that no one wants to join. There is no name for it, it has no leader, and it is guaranteed that all members wish they could unjoin. It is a club of tragedy. Accidents that change the body is the cost of membership. I became a member April 1st, 2002 and have been dealing with it every single day since. This isn’t my story though.

I volunteer because I am able to help and I know that. I offer my everything to the people I talk with at the rehab hospital. I will answer any questions no matter how personal, help with any equipment they may need or want to know about, and I’m happy to talk with family members that want to learn/understand how to best help the loved one that is going thru this physical nightmare. I’ve probably talked with at least few hundred confused/scared people over the years and I’m very proud of that.

Travis and Staci Hoyle gave me permission to use their real names in this blog. Travis was injured a couple months ago and is currently using a wheelchair. I want to express one thing here very strongly. It isn’t your business how it happened. Don’t ask. Ever. It is not okay. Don’t say I’m one of those people that just blurt it out. Travis will tell you if he wants to. Instead do something easy. Talk to him like you would without the chair. He is the same person today as he was 6 months ago. Bust his balls, call him ugly, give him a hard time about driving a Nissan, or whatever else you normally do.

The Hoyle’s have a tough road ahead. It isn’t impossible, but it is hard and they will need that 4 wheel drive of his F150, (it is actually a 2004 Nissan 4×4 Supercharged) to get thru it. “Travis made sure I corrected that.” I have no doubts that they will. This is a strong family from what I have seen. Leave your pity at home. Nobody needs that crap. Bring your happiness, smiles, never give up attitude, and instead of asking for details on what happened say ”I know you got this and I’m here if you need anything.”

I see strength, fear, and determination in Staci and Travis’s eyes. It is okay to have fear because everything is new and we fear what we don’t know. The strength they have has nothing to do with lifting weights. True strength is in a persons mind, it is strong to accept reality, it is strong to smile first thing in the morning and say I can do this, it is strong to remember you’re not the only one going thru this, and most importantly it is strong to acknowledge other people are hurting as well. Pity parties are stupid and worthless so have a strength party. Challenge everyone around you to use the strength God gave them to overcome this obstacle. Once again I will say I have no doubt they will overcome this, but friends and family have a HUGE role to play to make that happen.

Unfortunately bad things happen to great people all the time. It is unfair and makes me want to scream at nothing sometimes. 20 years of membership and yes sometimes I still have moments of extreme weakness and anger. The key is to not live there. Accept the emotions, work thru them naturally, and get back to living your best life. Avoid the ”what if” hole because it simply leads to depression, anger, and regrets. What if I didn’t go, what if I didn’t stop for coffee, what if I didn’t date her, what if what if, and more what if. That is pointless because no matter how much you torture yourself it will not ever change the outcome.

You don’t have to be Travis and Staci to use the advice above. Everyone has hardships in life, hardship plays no favorites, and facing it head on is the right course of action. There is a benefit for Travis on Sunday. I’m told the 300 available tickets sold out very quickly. Money is always welcome and helpful, but kind words and genuine caring is fuel for the fighting spirit alive inside of Travis and Staci. This is not an easy road, but once again it is not impossible. The only thing different is Travis got a lot shorter and won’t be running up any stairs for a while.

Remember as this battle goes on that smiles and laughter are okay. In fact they are a must. Focus on the things that make you smile. Watching your kids succeed at anything. Holding your partner in front of a fireplace on a rainy night. Laughing with your friends while telling old stories. One of my best friends growing up and I would always yell when Welcome Home (Sanitarium) by Metallica came on. It is a random thing, but after my accident while having a tough moment in life that song come over the radio. I was instantly transported back in time and smiled gratefully that I was still alive to enjoy that memory. It is okay to be happy while dealing with tragedy. To this day every time I hear this song, I’m instantly 19 years old again, yelling at the radio with my friends while drinking a Busch Light.

It is easy to find reasons to be unhappy, mean, and ungrateful. True strength is when you put all those aside and find one reason to smile. You only need one. Kids, wife, family, friends, pets, food in your stomach, warm place to sleep, and so on. You can choose to be happy in horrible situations. In life when we are forced into situations beyond our control it is important to concentrate on the one thing we always have control of. Your Attitude. It is easy to smile at the end of the trip, but more important to keep that smile and positive attitude going during the journey no matter how long it may be.

I hope everyone who reads this will share it. You never know who needs to hear the message above. If you can donate money please do and then share this message. If you can’t send money I only ask you share this message so others will see it and be able to help.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/257mk-help-travis-hoylespinal-cord-injury?member=14697887&utm_campaign=contacts-v2-invite-to-donate&utm_medium=sms&utm_source=twilio

Count your blessings. Be grateful for the people in your life. Truly grateful for them.

FknBucky

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We still need Justice for Ryan Cooper. Please come forward if you have any information. As Russell Crowe said in the Gladiator “We will have our vengeance, in this lifetime or the next.”

25
Nov
21

Sacrifice

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Justice for Ryan Cooper. I don’t understand why they haven’t found the person responsible for this insane evil act, but I’m still hopeful they will find the pricks.

The crazy part is I started this blog about four weeks ago.

I have a dozen blogs that are 80% complete. I just need to final edit them, but I get distracted and 4 days later whatever I was writing about becomes old news. A friend sent this article to me wondering if I would write about it. That answer is yes. I don’t know much for details, but this story is true, just happened, tragic, and yet romantic in a weird way. It shows the sacrifice one human is willing to make to ensure the safety of a stranger. I want to say this next point and regardless of your political position I hope you feel the same way. Those 13 service members should NOT have died in Afghanistan. It makes me sick that the incompetence of old people in power caused the needless death of those young military members.

Today I want to talk about Joaquin Romero. You’ve never heard of him. He worked at La Jolla Zip Zoom Zipline in North San Diego County. He was 34 years old and certainly didn’t expect to die as he got ready for work last Saturday. None of us do, but the truth is, at any point of everyday the clock could run out. Stop spending time on trivial BS. Stop hating people you don’t know and in fact stop hating anyone. It is ALL wasted energy. Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and any of the others don’t care that you hate them. They sleep just fine, but you allow them to live rent free in your mind. Someone please tell me how hating Donald Trump all day makes your life more enjoyable. I’ll wait.

Mr Romero was helping a young lady get hooked up on the zip line when she started slipping. He grabbed her harness in an attempt to steady her, but it was too late and they both went about 100 feet down the zip line. This man you’ve never met decided to let go. He knew the 70 foot fall was going to kill him, but he let go anyway. He knew the line would most likely not hold the weight of both of them and made the ultimate decision. This wasn’t like Hollywood where the actor gets back up, but real life where you have no extra lives.

This type of sacrifice blows the mind. I can’t imagine being faced with that decision in the blink of an eye. One moment thinking about how you’ll grab some beers after work, hopefully run into the cocktail waitress you have a crush on, and the next moment you are about to plunge to your end. In a few seconds you find yourself hanging 70 ft above the ground on a cable that can’t hold two people. You can’t call timeout, try again, scream you’re sorry for any past mistakes. Nope, you just let go and fall to your death.

It reminds me of soldiers that jump on a grenade in order to save his brothers next to him. Think he checks to see what color the other men are before making that final jump?? The picture is Kyle Carpenter. He literally jumped on a grenade. The least you can do is to remember his name and recognize people like this exist in real life. This is a debt none of us will ever be able to repay. You can’t even let someone go in front of you at the Walmart check out when they have 2 items and you have a full cart.

There are clearly great people in this world. All around us. You don’t know someones story or history. How many friends do you have?? How many of them know everything about you?? Do you know everything about them??? I’m going to say very few. You’re too busy to listen to someone else’s story. We get so wrapped up in BS that we forget what it is to simply be a good human. The young lady hanging on the zip line that a stranger killed himself to save, do you think she asked who he voted for in the last election???

I talk about Mr Romero and his selfless act. It is insane to think about. I wonder if he was vaccinated?? That is a joke. We have all these nurses, police, firemen and women, grocery store workers that were held up on this pedestal during the lockdown months. They got up and worked every day while others got paid extra money to not work. They didn’t get a bonus. Every couple of days some D-Bag politician would get on TV and talk about how much their sacrifice meant to the rest of us. Liars. They didn’t give a crap. Those same ”heroes” are now the enemy and being fired for not getting the vaccine. It makes me sick to think about.

You have to ask yourself one question. Do I have the strength to sacrifice myself for others?? It doesn’t have to be death. That is only good for one moment. Start small. Sacrifice your time. Listen to someone that doesn’t have anyone to talk to. Cook meals for homeless people on Thanksgiving. Be a foster parent to kids or dogs. Maybe both. Stop and pick up the litter you see. I watched a guy tonight walking his Golden Retriever that was munching on a plastic plant pot. I passed him with Annie, looked back at the street, and sure enough his dog dropped it and he kept on walking. I turned around and picked it up myself because I have character.

Sacrifice your money. Give to those in need. Pay for someones lunch. Do you know how great it feels to randomly pay for someones groceries that are obviously in need of a kind gesture. You got $70 to blow at the bar Friday and Saturday, but no money to help a struggling family??

Start small. Let a car merge in front of you on your way home. Talk to the elderly person two houses down like they are the only person in the world for an hour. Take your dog to a new park or on a walk instead of just opening the door and shoving your fur friend into the back yard. Buy a couple greeting cards and send them to old friends you haven’t talked to in years. Friendships are precious gifts so never take them for granted. In fact one could say ”Be thankful for the friendships you have”.

You have all the power to make your day and someone else’s wonderful. Use it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

FknBucky

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18
Nov
21

Choose Wisely

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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Justice for Ryan Cooper. We will not stop asking questions until they are answered. I am 2,000 miles away, but I still keep an line of communication with friends in Traer. They are as passionate and pissed off today as they were the day this happened. You can’t hide forever and the truth will come out.

I am what I would consider well traveled. I have barely scratched the surface on how much I want to travel as I would love to never spend a day in the same place. I thrive in this situation. Multiple times in my life I’ve gone on road trips across the USA without a plan. I would drive until dark, find a hotel, and then crash for the night. In the morning I would go to breakfast and ask locals what was cool around there to go see. A kind conversation with a local will always yield some great advice on what to go see. This is what we would do. Spend the day checking out the natural beauty of this world in a town I’ve never heard of and will most likely never return to. Once done we would drive a few hours until dark and repeat the same process. Here is a HUGE sentence so pay attention: ”You are not that busy, life is not that crazy, and whatever you are stressed out about is not impossible.”

For unknown reasons humans tend to build these imaginary walls around them and then complain they can’t get out of the box. You built the walls. You only have to decide to knock them down. Once again I say to you ”It is that simple.” STOP wasting time and days on things that don’t matter. You don’t get it Bucky, my problems are way harder than everyone else’s. To that I say Bullshit!! I can’t pay rent, Bucky. So what is stressing out about it solving?? Nothing. Get a part time job. Cancel cable. Stop stressing and start doing. Okay I’m getting off topic here. Doesn’t make it mean less though. Print this paragraph and staple it to your forehead.

My point today is don’t waste precious time. We don’t know when this amazing journey called life is going to end. I live in an apartment building close to Uptown Charlotte. It is nice enough, rent is fair, and over the last 6 years I’ve had a good number of next door neighbors that I talk to when I see them. My current neighbor is Chris. The day he moved in I was stealing his power. I had a power chair that needed charging in the back of my van. Instead of dragging it out, I used an extension cord, and plugged it in to his patio outlet. In my defense that apartment had been empty over a month so…. I came outside to see my cord unplugged and thrown back over the wall towards my van. My first thought was okay somebody moved in. I knocked on his door and apologized for stealing power. We talked, he explained he didn’t know what to do so he just unplugged it, and then gave me permission to use it anytime I needed.

His name is Chris and he died a couple days ago. He jogged daily and had a beautiful white mutt that he would take with him. Always a kind word and we would chat for a couple moments when we ran into each other in the hallway. Chris was only 26 years old. He was running a marathon which was a hobby of his, and collapsed near the finish line dead. I’m told his mother and step-father were at the finish line of the marathon and witnessed him collapsing. There was absolutely nothing anyone could do. He was just gone in an instant without warning. I can’t think of a more unfair situation. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, how many cool toys you have, or how long your bucket list is because when your ticket is punched, that is the end.

Chris’s death has to be insanely hard on his family, but I hope you, me, and everyone can use this tragedy to remind ourselves to stop waiting for the right time to start living. You have to start today. Right now. No more excuses. Writing is my passion. I love doing it and hope one day I will be good enough to make a living doing it. If you want to help that dream come true please give me 5 stars, sign up to have my blogs emailed to you when I publish one, share it with other people you know, and make comments below.

I didn’t know Chris super well, but I guarantee you that I’ll never forget him. I will use his story to fuel my drive and my relentless pursuit to make my dreams come true. To come full circle and tie in the beginning of this blog with the end I will tell you this. Traveling as I have, talking to people like I do, and just enjoying new people I am bound to know more tragedy. Learning wisdom from other peoples lives is a tool for a more enjoyable life, but you have to be willing to accept the message. Chris died at 26 doing everything right. If his story doesn’t light a fire in you I have no idea what will. You have complete control in your life. Make decisions your 80 year old self will be happy about. No ones turns 80 and thinks ”Man I should have wasted more time stressing over dumb crap.”

I don’t have pictures of Chris so I added one of Annabel. RIP neighbor. A true tragedy.

Learn to enjoy your day instead of constantly bitching about the long line at Walmart, the President, your kids, the neighbor with a loud car, or whatever else gets your panties bunched up. Life is either awesome or sucks. You get to decide. Choose wisely.

FknBucky

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20
Sep
21

Just Fix it

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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A lot of time has gone by since I’ve written a blog. Well one I’m actually going to share. It has been a hard summer personally for me and for a lot of people I know. I found myself going further and further into this funk that didn’t seem to brush off. I don’t know why and I couldn’t shake it off like I normally do. The hits kept coming. I’m strong, but even strong people only have so deep they can go. The deepest of wells that hold willpower eventually have a bottom. I came to the realization that no matter what I do next year is going to be harder than this one. The one after that will be harder yet. That is a tough thing to admit to yourself.

Truth is I need to get into shape and get my weight down. The COVID excuse is over and it is time to find some actual willpower. My shoulder is super sore. I have trouble transferring right now that leads me to fall trying to get into my van. Usually worse in the AM because of my spasms. When I lift to get into my van my whole body flexes and makes me go into the fetal position which makes it impossible to get my butt on the seat. Depending on the slope of the land around me my chair will either stay put or push away just far enough I can’t get back into it. Yeah I have to think that thru every time I park. I fell this AM getting into my van so that wound is still fresh.

I don’t tell you these things for sympathy, but rather so you see how real life is. I got up, continued my day with a smile, and left the anger, the hurt, and the weakness back in the parking lot. No reason to drag that bullshit around the rest of the day. I also found my way to shaking the funk off and it came from the easiest of things to do. Be myself. Just be Bucky and stop trying to analyze my problems to death. I’m fat. Lose weight. Pretty damn simple. We tend to overcomplicate the shit out of problems we face. Stop eating sugar/candy all day. Drink water instead of soda, Gatorade, and the rest of the crap. Willpower. Simple.

I also got back to doing for others. This is a huge part of my life. When my time is done and I’m standing at the gates of Big Bang Theory, I want them to say ”Wow Bucky, you made a difference everyday to someone’s life.” That to me is the most important thing I can do with my life. Just help others. Stop spending all day worrying about things you can’t/won’t solve overnight. I use my weight as the example here. Dwelling on it 24/7 is not going to speed the process up, but it will kill me on the inside if I don’t stop. Find ways to make the world better around you which will keep your mind from dwelling. You don’t have to go build a house with habitat for humanity right out of the gate. Baby steps.

I walk Annie in the same area almost every single day. There is a dog poop trash can that I deposit Annie’s little treasures into every day. I noticed on Thursday the lid was not attached any longer. The bolt had rusted out leaving the lid in limbo. This is a bag full of dog shit in 100 degree heat. To say it smells is, well true. It smells really really really bad. Having the lid on helps keep the smell down to a minimum. On Friday I went by and the lid is on the ground about 4 feet from the can. Not good. I thought man they need to fix that shit. Fast forward to Saturday. The lid is still on the ground and the smell is worse than Joe Biden’s breath. Hard to have fresh breath with your head up your ass all day. I instantly think “fuck it” I gotta fix this damn thing. It wasn’t hard and took very little time.

I went back to my apartment, found some bolts, and then went up to fix it. Two problems. First bolt was skinny enough, but not long enough to go thru both holes. Second ones were to fat and would not go thru the hole no matter how hard I pushed. So I gave up and said ”screw it”. Let someone else deal with it. ha. No chance. By the way if you are giggling at my bolts that is why we are friends. I went back to my apartment to look around for something to solve this problem. That is when I saw them. Almost standing with their hand up saying pick me!! You guessed it. Zip Ties. Suck it Poop Can. I’m came to win.

I put the lid back on and used two zip ties per side. It was dark outside and no one walked by while i was doing this so I’m not getting any credit for it. If you only do good things to get praise you need to rethink your philosophy. Do good things because it is the right thing to do. If you see something wrong and you have the ability to fix it, then do it. I grew up on a farm. You didn’t walk by problems with fixing it. It didn’t matter who was to blame for it, if you got credit for it, but it did matter it got done. Walking thru the barn and notice a bag of corn is leaking out then you fix it. Whether it was you or someone else, that bag of corn had to be picked up. We have gotten to a place that many people will say ”Look at that, how wasteful, someone should really pass a law saying corn should be sold in stainless steel packaging.”

Everyone is so focused on solving the problems of the whole damn country. Fix your own backyard. Help your neighbor. Stop trying to ”fix” some person in Rhode Island that don’t want you. Pick up that one split bag of corn and go about your life. Imagine a world where everyone took pride in their home and worked to make the world better by fixing their own neighborhood. Lead by example. Trust me, if you do it enough people will notice, and if you’re not a self righteous prick they will follow your lead.

Be awesome, be happy, and be the guy/gal that puts the lid on the shit bucket.

I hope you’re ready. FknBucky has a lot to say!

FknBucky

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02
Aug
21

“I’m Lovin You”

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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This isn’t how I envisioned my next blog to go. I haven’t published anything since writing about Ryan. Not that I haven’t had things to say, it just felt so trivial once I started putting it into words. We lose the purpose of existence in a moment. 9/11 – We are one!!! A few years later it is a Facebook post that catches your eye so you share it saying never forget as you grab another Truly from the cooler. I’m not saying it is right or wrong. It simply is what happens. The best way to honor the people we love that left us to soon is to cherish the moments we have with the people still here. That is the purpose.

I drove to Alabama today. I meant to drive over 2 days ago, but kept getting caught up with this and that. I believe looking back now I was looking for things to delay my trip because I knew when I got here things would become real for me. It has been real for my family here in Lower Alabama or LA for the locals. We lost Momma last week. She was everyone’s Momma. The first time little brother introduced her to me he called her Momma and said I should as well. That was that. She embraced the stereotype and simply was everything people say about Southern hospitality. There are never guests in Mommas house. Once you cross that threshold you are family. Grab a plate, load it up, and find a safe place to sit down.

Chances are you will be run over by a dog or kid at some point while eating. Some people have beautiful houses filled with expensive neat stuff. It can be impressive, but not for me. I want to be in a home. A dwelling that is filled with love, amazing smells of pound cake baking, and hopefully a muddy dog chasing a 7 year kid down the hall. I feel sorry for people that don’t get to know what that type of love is like. It simply didn’t matter who you are outside of these walls because while you are inside of them you always had food to eat, a family right here, with a large helping of love for dessert. Okay that is not true because dessert is a ginormous bowl of ice cream that Dakota has to scoop or it doesn’t taste as good.

I stayed here in Alabama with little brother and his family for a long while after I left Cali. I decided I was going to lose some weight and started eating salads for meals. Not an easy thing to do with Momma making fried chicken, fried pork chops, potato salad (MAN I LOVE THIS), pound cake, and pretty much everything. Collard greens with bacon, jalapeños with bacon, hell I think some mornings we had bacon wrapped bacon dipped in melted butter. I would eat my salad only to have Momma hand me a plate with bacon wrapped bacon on it saying it ain’t right just eating a salad. Who am I to argue??? I can lose weight next week.

I pulled into the driveway tonight about 8:30 PM. I was supposed to leave on Friday, then Saturday, then Sunday morning, but it was almost 1 PM by the time I was leaving Charlotte. In my defense I do have a job and had to handle a few things before being gone this week. Pulling in I noticed the lawn was littered with cars. Sunday dinner. Every week there is a big meal and everyone eats. I smiled and thought this is what Momma left us. She didn’t leave us stuff, money in a mattress (although I’m checking first thing in the AM), or some big inheritance. Nope, she left us each other to lean on, laugh with, and share the pain with in hard times. We don’t have to face anything alone because we have this beautiful family Momma gave us. She was wise many times teaching lessons without pointing out the incredibly obvious.

We won’t need a crafty Meme to remember Momma. It won’t come around once a year to throw up a never forget picture of Momma. Nope. Every get together, impromptu Wednesday night we decide fuck it and have a few more that a couple while building a fire, and the Sunday evenings sharing food, laughs, and love with the people that are important to us. The truth is she never left. Her physical body stopped holding her back and now she can watch over us all. Momma didn’t go to bed without telling everyone she loved them. You didn’t walk out her front door without her saying she loved you. She understood how precious moments are and without shoving it down our throats she simply taught us by doing it. I’ve pondered what to write for a week now. I really didn’t have it until I pulled into the driveway tonight. I was met with 20 voices telling I was late, fat (thanks Shannon), ugly, and most importantly a tiny voice asking where did I want all my precious pictures a certain young lady drew for me. One of them is scary she said so I have to be careful when I look thru them.

It doesn’t seem fair that she is gone. I know it is incredibly hard on my sister in law. I can’t imagine the pain she is in and I never like to think about the day when well you know. We will keep Momma right here with us everyday. Every time someone leaves we say “Love you!” Every time we hand an idiot eating a salad a plate full of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and collard greens with bacon there will be Momma looking down on us proud that she left a legacy of love, respect, and a few extra lbs….. She also is one of one that passed every level of Candy Crush and became a God to the game.

We all love you and miss you Momma. We cherish the wisdom and kindness you showed us.

Always tell those you care about that you love them. Don’t wait for a perfect moment or time. Just do it every time. I can still hear the words.

“Alright, I’m loving you.” Then Momma walked up the stairs. This time Momma had a few extra stairs to climb to be with her maker.

“Goodnight, We all love you too Momma.”

FknBucky

31
May
21

The Families

By Bucktown 2 Comments
Categories: Uncategorized
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Army SPC Jeremiah Collins, says goodbye to his wife Angela (R) and daughters Skkye Collins (L) and Shyla Collins (2-R)

Yesterday I talked about respecting those that gave up everything for the idea of freedom. You can disagree with anything you want in America because you are free to do so. You don’t have to blindly agree with everything our government does, has done, or will do in the future. In fact it is your job as a citizen to question them, all of them, Donald Trump and Joe Biden, just because your “guy” or “gal” is in charge doesn’t mean they get a free pass to do whatever they want. I read a lot. I’ve read so many stories about incredibly brave men and women from all kinds of backgrounds that I know strength has nothing to do with race, gender, age, sexuality, or physical ability. I can’t do a push up, but I’m the strongest person you might ever meet. Or not.

To call me strong is easy. You see a wheelchair, think about how much it must suck, how sad or depressed you would be if it happened to you, and then label me as strong because I have a smile on my face. That isn’t strength, it is survival. I only have so many days left on Earth. It could be 1 more day or 10,000 more days, but I’m not going to waste them feeling sorry for myself about things I can’t change. Want to know real strength?? Go talk with the mother of 3 young children who’s husband is in harms way serving our country 6,494 miles from home. Yes I googled the distance from Charlotte, NC to Fallujah, Iraq. Keeping it real on FknBucky.

The families of our heroes need to be remembered on this Memorial Day as well. A friend of mine growing up lost her brother who was serving the USA when he was killed in a helicopter accident. I don’t know if she reads this blog or not, but I dedicate today’s blog to her brother and their family. His name is John Kaye and he was a hero. I bring it up to let her know a lot of people acknowledge the huge sacrifice he made to make sure the rest of us are safe and free. I didn’t know him well on a personal level, but I vow to never forget his name or sacrifice.

It is easy to forget the real reason for Memorial Day, but the families left behind to try and make sense of it all don’t have the luxury to forget. Commenting on a Meme in between beers 2 and 3 is not honoring those that gave their life in defense of our country. You don’t have to agree with the war, the military, or any of it, but you must understand these individuals believed in America enough to die for it. The sadness and the loss never really go away. It is impossible to understand the pain associated with loss like that unless you’ve been through it. We all hope you don’t experience that kind of grief.

Memorial Day is more than brats on a grill. More than having your first beer at 9 AM. It is important to take a few minutes, look around your life, and appreciate all that you have. Regardless of the hardships you have going on in your life, you are still here with the opportunity to change your life. The opportunity to read a book, start a business, have a family, or anything else you would like to do. Those that gave up their lives so we could be free don’t have the opportunity to do any of those things. Show your respect by living a full life. Chase your dreams. Hold those you love and tell them you love them often.

I’m very sorry that John Kaye lost his life serving our country. He was way too young and I know how much his sister and family loved him. He is missed by many and never forgotten. So remember him today, remember all of our fallen heroes, and don’t forget to honor the families that have lost their brother, son, Uncle, sister, daughter, or Aunt. Those labels came long before we called men like John a soldier, a Marine, a sailor, or any of the other terms used to describe service members.

I try to write about things that are meaningful and tell some jokes along the way. With a country so divided I hope that regardless of where you fall left or right you can take a moment to remember a hero that didn’t give his life to democrats or republicans. He gave his life for Americans. The least you can do is spend the day being just that. An American. An American that can see all the good we do together as a country. You have 364 other days to hate and trash the USA. Just for today drink your beers, eat the brats, and embrace the idea of freedom so many brave men and women died for.

FknBucky

Read * Think * Live Free

30
May
21

Memorial Day

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Life is pretty awesome when you allow it to be. We live in America (most of us as I have some very distant readers) which is the greatest country in the world. Mainly because I’m here. There are a lot of people, millions of people in fact, that we will never get to know. They are impossible to meet. They laid their lives down to protect future generations in this country. In my opinion you owe them the respect to understand exactly how big that price was they paid. I love reading history. There is so much we didn’t learn in high school or college. Simply posting a photo on social media of a widow at a gravestone is not showing the respect all of those fallen soldiers deserve. You are free to stand on a street corner and yell “America Sucks”, “America is racist”, or “America is the devil” because of brave men and women you will never meet.

This country isn’t perfect, but no where is. Simply look at where we used to be compared to where we are now. Eventually we get it right, but it never happens overnight. I say this A LOT because it is true. You can’t HATE something or someone into changing. You can love someone so much they have no choice to trust you and learn from you. You take the most racist white power asshole out there and when you scream HATE at him/her you only fuel that hatred. Set that same person down with a black person that only shows love and compassion to them for a real conversation. That changes things. Even the biggest of ignorance can not ignore that all those feelings of hate are based in fantasy land.

Being wrong is okay. It is okay as long as when reality slaps you in the face, you learn the lesson and change your heart. On this Memorial Day weekend please take the time to understand the freedoms we enjoy 365 days a years did not come cheap. America isn’t perfect, but we have the freedom to change. We have the freedom to lead by example. We have the freedom to chase our dreams. Ignorance, evil, and just crap people are never going away. No matter how many laws you make, catchy slogans you come up with, or how many people you hate for good these type of people will always be there. Learn to identify them and then forget about them.

On another note I wanted to share a cool story. Years ago on Memorial Day I wanted to honor those that gave up all for my freedoms so I drove to Balboa Park in San Diego. Awesome place by the way. They have numerous museums for this and that. I had no plan and just went. I ended up at a military museum that honored some remarkable people who did extraordinary things when the need arose. I am fascinated at the strength some people have in the hardest of situations. Without a doubt stories like this help me daily to deal with my own challenges. Remember people don’t judge you on the problems you face, but they do form opinions about you from the attitude and strength you have facing those problems.

I was in this museum for about 15 minutes when some guy came up and asked if I wanted to meet “Gunny”?? I had no idea what the heck he was talking about, but of course I said yes. He took me into the back room where all the drugs were. Wait wrong story. When the door opened I rolled thru it and there he was. R Lee Emny. Mr Full Metal Jacket himself. I thought well this is a cool surprise. Turns out he was there as a spokesman for WD-40 to give a check to some Veteran charity. I believe it was Wounded Warrior Foundation, but not 100% on that. Point is I had no idea, but I was able to talk with him for almost an hour in that back waiting area.

He was awesome and had some great stories to share. Fun how sometimes things just happen. The world is a pretty amazing place full of incredible people. Take the time to learn from individuals outside of your circle. As we get older our circles seem to get smaller. My favorite thing in the world is talking to people from somewhere I know nothing about. I didn’t even know Estonia was a country until I met a girl from there. I think it is in Australia. Ha.

Use this day to show respect and appreciation to those that gave their lives for an idea of freedom. Learn their stories, teach those that look up to you to have respect, and mostly simply lead by example.

Get your FknBucky shirt ordered! I appreciate you all.

FknBucky

Read * Think * Live Free

15
May
21

All about that Gummy Life

By Bucktown 1 Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
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A short blog this AM. The world is burning down all around us if you believe the panic peddlers. Thing is you can’t let that get to you. Same as the left vs right BS. It is not really a secret which way I tend to lean, but the reality is I believe the government is not the answer to every problem. We can disagree. It is okay with me if you want to be wrong. Ha. I’m old now. I used to be cool back in the day and to be honest I enjoyed it. I haven’t had a drink since New Years Eve 2020. That is almost a year and a half. It is longest I’ve gone since I was 13 I believe. Maybe even 8. I used to sip the foam off the old mans beers when I would get him one.

That is for me. In fact unless you are personally involved in my life you wouldn’t know anything about that. I quit for me and it isn’t anyone else’s business until now I suppose. I didn’t plan on sharing that 5 minutes ago, but feels right to do so. Maybe someone that reads this blog needs to know that it is okay. You can stop. I will write something up someday detailing all of this, but not today. If you or someone you know wants to talk about it with me please reach out. I will give anyone my time if they ask for it.

So gummies. You all know how much I enjoy having my nieces and nephews around. Kids in general. I just love hanging out with them and dropping little bits of wisdom on them from time to time. Funny I’ve wasted a lot of time in my life being wasted, but I never feel like time spent with kids could have been better spent some place else. Before my nephews came over a couple months ago I asked my sister what type of food or treats they enjoy so I could purchase them. You know that whole think of someone else thing I try to pound into your head. She simply said one word that changed my life. Gummies.

When I think of gummies the first thing that comes to mind is worms. Now when I was young our gummy worms doubled as fish lures. In fact I really think they might have been. We didn’t have a lot of money so lets just say I didn’t care for “gummies” all that much. Fast forward 30 years and holy smokes. The Gummy world has changed. Lifesavers makes Gummies!! Who knew?? The Trolli glow in the dark freaking sour gummy worms… Little piece of wormy heaven. What was the point of bringing up the no drinking FknBucky?? The sugar. I love sweets all of a sudden now that I don’t drink.

I had no idea. No one told me. There is a whole gummy section at the store! Everything is gummy. Only need Jack Link to come out with beef jerky flavored gummies. Think about it. Yeah that is gross. I’d probably buy them though. Yesterday I told you to eat all the ice cream and hate everyone like Chrissy Teigen. That woman is a bitch. I don’t find her attractive either. Not even kinda. No matter as now it is time to buy a bag of gummies and share with others.

Take the time to be kind to one another. We only have one life, one planet, and why spend it hating people you don’t know. Find common ground instead of drawing lines in the sand. It is easy to hate someone. It takes strength and character to love people we disagree with. Are you strong or weak?? Kind of a deep question for a blog about gummy worms huh??

I wrote this before I left for a hot yoga class this AM. Just got back from my first class since the world shut down and I feel AMAZING. Covid can suck it. I’m never stopping hot yoga again. I’ll blog about that tomorrow.

Find ways to love people you disagree with. That is true power.

FknBucky

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