I am on a journey. I wrote about being obligated to myself instead of feeling motivated. I am passionate about it and not going to stop for anyone or anything. I work out daily and have been doing so for a few months now. I have stopped eating sugar because it is counterproductive and doesn’t help me reach my goal of losing 100 lbs. Yeah I let it go that far. When I was weighed in for my last cripple fight that will be shown on YouTube, I was 270 lbs. Obviously I’m kidding, it was only 267.
I won that fight, but lost a kidney in the process. I won because I’m still alive. In May 2024 I was on a ventilator in ICU for 3 days. Now I’m down 70 lbs with 30 more to go. The hard 30. I won’t be denied. I was always thinking “this is so hard, I don’t want to cut sugar, I need ice cream to be happy..”, but it was all BS inside my head. I had a long conversation with myself that went like this.
Bucky, you overcame the hardest thing in the world. You went on with life after being paralyzed. No one did that for me. Quite the opposite actually. Many people looked at me like I was already dead and their eyes said “if that was me, I’d kill myself”. Don’t think I never noticed. Ready for the point. I’m not those people. I’m exceptional. I’m stronger than you, them, everyone. I don’t care about your opinion or your false sympathy. Want to make my life better?? Donate your next paycheck to a cure for spinal cord injuries.
If any of that offends you, then it is you I’m talking about. Those people that truly care about me, knelt next to me, and saw the same looks. Back on topic. I did that, but I can’t stop eating sugar for a few months to get my weight down?? Stupid. I will reach this goal and I truly hope some of you join me for the trip. Not only will we reach one goal, but the strength and confidence we gain along the way will be truly priceless. Remember the goal is simply the cherry on top, the journey is the cupcake.
Motivation. What a crap word. It is a waste of energy and accomplishes nothing. Holy smokes Bucky how can you say that?? Cause I’m smart. Motivation is cause of every 1/4 finished project in the world. Go look at your garage that is kinda organized. One corner is not in chaos from that one Saturday you felt motivated to finally tackle that mess, but something came up so you couldn’t get the job finished. Cool. Now you just gotta wait another 6 months for the motivation fairy to bite you again. Let me know how that works out for you.
If I can’t get things done being motivated, what can I do Bucky?? Nothing you’re screwed. You will be a loser forever so just stop trying. I may as well tell half of you that because most of you might read this and then you’ll grab a bag of skittles instead of going for a walk at lunch. You’ve been lied to for your entire life, but for that quick minute you actually feel motivated you’re King Kong. Once the buzz wears off you’re left with nothing, but a half finished hangover. You’re now the King of not following thru. That sucks. I know because I have that same title under my name more often than I’d like to admit, but today is accountability day for all of us.
I’ve kicked motivation out of my house. She kept showing up drunk at all hours of the night, eating up all my food, and then trying to get a piece before passing out on my couch. I’m done with her. How do you get over a girl?? Sleep with her sister. This is still FknBucky. Okay back to my point today. The real answer for replacing motivation is to take obligation for a spin. Holy Moly. Are you saying to not be motivated, but to be obligated??? How will that help?
Let’s break it down and quickly because I know you are dying to watch clips of dogs running into glass doors on IG. Be obligated to yourself. BOOM. It is that simple. Look at yourself and say “I’m going to clean this eff’ing mess up.” Enough is enough. I’m going to lose the weight. I’m going to read the book. I’m going to take the classes. Now that you’ve broken up with motivation and going steady with obligation you can actually finish some of the amazing things you know you’re capable of.
Now the best part. Everyone likes to shove their success in the face of their ex. Take a pic of your family, people you care about, or even yourself and look at it every single day. Use that picture to remind yourself why you HAVE to stay obligated. That picture can motivate (so you’re saying there is a chance) you from time to time if you need a bump to keep you in the game. As you stack up wins make sure you give obligation a smack on the ass and say “Thanks Baby!”
I want to share a story with you today. A very important one that I hope will open your eyes, your heart, and help motivate you to count your blessings instead of constantly wishing for more. There is a club that no one wants to join. There is no name for it, it has no leader, and it is guaranteed that all members wish they could unjoin. It is a club of tragedy. Accidents that change the body is the cost of membership. I became a member April 1st, 2002 and have been dealing with it every single day since. This isn’t my story though.
I volunteer because I am able to help and I know that. I offer my everything to the people I talk with at the rehab hospital. I will answer any questions no matter how personal, help with any equipment they may need or want to know about, and I’m happy to talk with family members that want to learn/understand how to best help the loved one that is going thru this physical nightmare. I’ve probably talked with at least few hundred confused/scared people over the years and I’m very proud of that.
Travis and Staci Hoyle gave me permission to use their real names in this blog. Travis was injured a couple months ago and is currently using a wheelchair. I want to express one thing here very strongly. It isn’t your business how it happened. Don’t ask. Ever. It is not okay. Don’t say I’m one of those people that just blurt it out. Travis will tell you if he wants to. Instead do something easy. Talk to him like you would without the chair. He is the same person today as he was 6 months ago. Bust his balls, call him ugly, give him a hard time about driving a Nissan, or whatever else you normally do.
The Hoyle’s have a tough road ahead. It isn’t impossible, but it is hard and they will need that 4 wheel drive of his F150, (it is actually a 2004 Nissan 4×4 Supercharged) to get thru it. “Travis made sure I corrected that.” I have no doubts that they will. This is a strong family from what I have seen. Leave your pity at home. Nobody needs that crap. Bring your happiness, smiles, never give up attitude, and instead of asking for details on what happened say ”I know you got this and I’m here if you need anything.”
I see strength, fear, and determination in Staci and Travis’s eyes. It is okay to have fear because everything is new and we fear what we don’t know. The strength they have has nothing to do with lifting weights. True strength is in a persons mind, it is strong to accept reality, it is strong to smile first thing in the morning and say I can do this, it is strong to remember you’re not the only one going thru this, and most importantly it is strong to acknowledge other people are hurting as well. Pity parties are stupid and worthless so have a strength party. Challenge everyone around you to use the strength God gave them to overcome this obstacle. Once again I will say I have no doubt they will overcome this, but friends and family have a HUGE role to play to make that happen.
Unfortunately bad things happen to great people all the time. It is unfair and makes me want to scream at nothing sometimes. 20 years of membership and yes sometimes I still have moments of extreme weakness and anger. The key is to not live there. Accept the emotions, work thru them naturally, and get back to living your best life. Avoid the ”what if” hole because it simply leads to depression, anger, and regrets. What if I didn’t go, what if I didn’t stop for coffee, what if I didn’t date her, what if what if, and more what if. That is pointless because no matter how much you torture yourself it will not ever change the outcome.
You don’t have to be Travis and Staci to use the advice above. Everyone has hardships in life, hardship plays no favorites, and facing it head on is the right course of action. There is a benefit for Travis on Sunday. I’m told the 300 available tickets sold out very quickly. Money is always welcome and helpful, but kind words and genuine caring is fuel for the fighting spirit alive inside of Travis and Staci. This is not an easy road, but once again it is not impossible. The only thing different is Travis got a lot shorter and won’t be running up any stairs for a while.
Remember as this battle goes on that smiles and laughter are okay. In fact they are a must. Focus on the things that make you smile. Watching your kids succeed at anything. Holding your partner in front of a fireplace on a rainy night. Laughing with your friends while telling old stories. One of my best friends growing up and I would always yell when Welcome Home (Sanitarium) by Metallica came on. It is a random thing, but after my accident while having a tough moment in life that song come over the radio. I was instantly transported back in time and smiled gratefully that I was still alive to enjoy that memory. It is okay to be happy while dealing with tragedy. To this day every time I hear this song, I’m instantly 19 years old again, yelling at the radio with my friends while drinking a Busch Light.
It is easy to find reasons to be unhappy, mean, and ungrateful. True strength is when you put all those aside and find one reason to smile. You only need one. Kids, wife, family, friends, pets, food in your stomach, warm place to sleep, and so on. You can choose to be happy in horrible situations. In life when we are forced into situations beyond our control it is important to concentrate on the one thing we always have control of. Your Attitude. It is easy to smile at the end of the trip, but more important to keep that smile and positive attitude going during the journey no matter how long it may be.
I hope everyone who reads this will share it. You never know who needs to hear the message above. If you can donate money please do and then share this message. If you can’t send money I only ask you share this message so others will see it and be able to help.
Count your blessings. Be grateful for the people in your life. Truly grateful for them.
FknBucky
READ * THINK * LIVE FREE
We still need Justice for Ryan Cooper. Please come forward if you have any information. As Russell Crowe said in the Gladiator “We will have our vengeance, in this lifetime or the next.”
FknBucky 