Posts Tagged ‘pippa

17
Apr
21

RIP Prince Philip

1921. That is forever ago. I looked up the number one song for that year. It is the most racist thing I’ve seen in a long time. I will not be going that route for the blog today. 1921 is when Prince Philip was born. I think the Royals are stupid, but only the young ones. They’ve become a Kardashian reality show and I give them zero time or thought. Now Prince Philip is a very interesting fellow. He married the princess that would become a Queen of England forever. She will never die. She eats children burgers. Haha. Told you it isn’t going away. Where do you think Pippa learned it from?? If 23 year old Bucky met Pippa I would be writing this blog from Buckingham palace. The place is pretty much named after me so… There was a time. My game was strong. Alright I have a thousand fun stories, but its not that kind of blog.

I love to travel, to experience life and new things, and truly inject myself into something different. I think that is why I have moved so many times. That and the warrants. Can you imagine the stories Prince Philip must have had?? Unlimited money to go anywhere you wanted. That would be cool, but on the other hand he never got to experience real life in those places. Everyone catered to him and treated him like royalty. You don’t understand a place without spending a couple days with the locals. Think of Rose in the movie Titanic. She had this lavish lifestyle, but never really lived until she went below deck and got loaded with the peasants. Good thing she did too or no way is Leo giving up that door.

I used to have a joke when I was about 23. I would cheers everyone at the table and say we are celebrating!! When asked why, I would respond with my future wife was born today. I’ve had to change that up a bit as I get older because it is more creepy than funny when I’m in my 40’s. Now I cheers and say “she got her first job as a gas station clerk” today!! Let’s face it. A 22 year old girl that marries me is most likely not going to be college educated. It is okay I have it all planned out. We get married, I throw a couple kids in her, and then 11 years later I’m worth 600K in life insurance and perish in a mysterious house fire that was started with C4 explosives. Sounds more fun than dying of prostate cancer or some crap. Wow. I completely forgot what the heck I was writing about.

Back on track. They are having a funeral for Prince Phil today and just take a moment to think of all the things he lived thru. WW2, the Beatles, air in shoes, airplanes, cars, going to the moon, and the best of them all, you get to pick what gender you are regardless of the plumbing!! What is not to love there?? He did fight in WW2 and was the recipient of a good number of medals. I’ll let you google him and read up on like I did. You won’t do it though so there is that. Face it you’re still thinking about later tonight when you’re at the bar and can use my joke. Go ahead it is funny. Fat Karen might even let you take a ride tonight. Enjoy that.

100 years is a long time to live. I’m fascinated by people that have been on Earth that long. My Grandmother being one of them. The stories they tell of different times and hardships. We are spoiled as people now. Most people don’t work for anything. You aren’t growing a garden to be able to can vegetables in the fall so you can feed your family over the winter. You aren’t milking cows, feeding chickens, or cutting firewood to simply survive. Nope. You complain if the air conditioner doesn’t work fast enough.

I admire Prince Philip. From everything I read he was a very good person. On his own he was a mans man. He didn’t have to take a back seat for anyone except for the Queen. To me it is admirable that he did do this. He must have really loved her. I think that is pretty cool. My guess is the Queen won’t live much longer mainly because she is 1,000 years old already, but losing her partner after all these years will most likely take a toll on her and truthfully whatever does happen after life on Earth she needs to be with Philip. I mean all of that in a kind way. Really I do.

I was pretty tough on the Royals a few weeks back, but thats because of the new drama Queen BS they have become. I’ve read about the Queen and Prince Philip and respect them both. So Rest In Peace Prince Phil. You’ve earned it.

Be kind to others. The only way to make the world better is for you to make yourself better. Think about it.

FknBucky

28
Mar
21

When Kids Fail, we all win.

Disclosure: I wrote this blog a couple days ago, but my real life job (the one that pays for all my luxury items like my chick magnet mini van) got in the way of my writing career.

I like the blog I wrote yesterday. Sometimes the next day when I read them again I’m like “Eh, it could have been better.” That is okay though. Nothing is perfect every time. It is okay to fail and in fact it is good when you do. I say often and as far as I know I’m the only person I’ve heard say it so it is my quote. I expect credit every time you steal it. Here you go. Bad days are great, without them how would you know you’re having a good day??? Wow my crippled ass oozes wisdom. Just remember if you call me crippled I’m going to stab you and get away with it. I am just faking being paralyzed for the chicks. I used to tell that joke on stage and one of the worthless crap bag other comics actually started to BELIEVE it. Damn people are dumb. He literally grabbed me and pulled me out of my chair in front of the Comedy Store in La Jolla. Sure wish a couple Iowa/Wisconsin friends were with me that night. Dude would still be using a straw to eat steak. Someone did punch him in the face, but not nearly enough times. Okay way off course now. That guys sucks at life. His name is Gordon. Feel free to punch every Gordon you meet just in case it is him. How many can there be???

Failing is good. I just proved it isn’t always a good thing. Gordon failed at life. Like completely. Don’t take failing to that level. When I used to snowboard (I MISS IT SO MUCH) I would often say “if you aren’t falling you’re not trying.“. You have to push the limits to grow and sometimes you just miss the mark. I love to make people laugh, truly it is quite possibly my favorite thing to do. If you know me personally you know this to be true. Sometimes though my jokes fall very flat. It is kind of embarrassing and a few times are burned into my memory like “Oh shit, I really wish I had that comment back..”. I wouldn’t change a thing though. When this happens I usually say “they can’t all be zingers..”. You have to put yourself out there or be happy hugging the wall, riding the pine, or any other analogy about not getting into the game.

How you deal with failing is a massive part of the character you have as a human. If you throw a fit and whine to anyone that will listen well lets just say that is not the right way. Accepting the failure and then analyzing it to learn from it so that you are better next time is the right reaction. Not always the easiest option, but it is the right one. When we jump in to save our kids the pain of failure at ANY age you are stealing the lesson from them. Our first reaction is to protect them which is a noble one, but you have to fight that urge and let nature do its thing. Learning to fail correctly can start at any age. We never stop failing/learning as we grow older, but the problems and consequences get a lot bigger as we age. This is where wisdom comes into play. Learning the lessons at age 3, 4, or 12 years old lets us develop the skill of coping with failure. When you “protect” a child from this hardship they miss out on the lesson which leads to much harder times later on in life.

All of a sudden you are 20 years old and failure feels like the end of the world because you’ve never dealt with it. Let the lego tower fall and break so little Timmy learns to go thru the motions. First is the disbelief the tower feel, then anger at the thought of the stupid tower, depression because it sucks to have to start over, and then acceptance that it happened and the lesson of why it happened. Next time Timmy will build a larger base to keep the tower steady as it gets taller and taller. Grabbing the tower as it starts to fall and handing Timmy a cookie is wrong. He learns nothing and becomes fat. Not a horrible thing cause when Pippa comes out with a need for children burgers I’m coming for fat little Timmy first. Read the blog “Royals” if you want to understand that last line. You really do have to read every blog.

Timmy Burch lego. Google it.

None of this means you can’t help. In fact quite the opposite. You should be there to help point out the lessons learned and guide a young person in the correct way to accept failure. Help them see the lesson. Now here is the big one. If no one ever let you fail you don’t have the wisdom needed to teach this ever important life lesson. This leads to the snowball effect that continues for generations. Every time it gets a little bit worse until some catastrophic event happens leaving many to ask “What happened?? How could this of happened??” You heard it here first. All of the problems in the world lead back to Timmy and those darn legos. How do you prevent this?? First of all don’t name your kid Timmy and never let them play with legos. Easy enough. I’m here to help.

Life is awesome. It is also very very hard sometimes. Learning how to cope is a big part of having a happy life. I guarantee you that at some point in your life you will experience failure that seems overwhelming, but if you have had practice your whole life you’ll be ready to deal with it. No one goes thru life without stupid mean challenges hitting us in the face sooner or later. Take the punch and learn to duck next time, but also learn how to punch back. Exactly. Violence solves problems. Another great lesson for young kids, but I’ll write that blog another day. Right after I write the “Your kids should only be friends with other kids that look like them and think like them” blog. A lot of sarcasm there unless your name is Gordon. Then get ready. We are coming for you.

Remember young people are always watching. What kind of example are you???

Be kind to others. Not for them, but for you. You will love the person you become when you put the feelings and needs of other people in front of yours.

FknBucky

06
Mar
21

Royals

Another crazy week ending today. I kept my fat ass upright for most of it so that is a win in my book. I’m sure many of you have been glued to the TV, Websites, and every other news source following the historic events going on. There is no neutral ground you have to be on one side or the other. When things this serious are going on it is important we include the children so they can learn how to take sides and hate everyone that doesn’t agree with them. What is the point of having kids if you can’t brainwash them to think exactly like you?? I am too smart to pass on wisdom so I had to make the hard choice to not have children. That and the girls that told me they were having Bucky’s baby also screamed ”I’m carrying the son of Damien” (Gwen year 2000), Son of Satan (1998), and who can forget “This child is going to grow up and be an asshole just like you!!” I’m actually pretty proud of that last one. You know as Satan I only make babies, not take care of them. Wow that escalated quickly. Even for me.

Taking sides. That is what I was talking about. I’m not talking the JV bull crap, but the real game. The Royals. Are you on Meghan and Harry’s side or the other ones. I don’t know their names cause I don’t care, but there is Queen never gonna die, guy who divorced Diana marking him as forever Jerk, The bald son (Not the Ginger one), and Kate Middleton (of course I know her name she is hot. Idiot) who has the insane hot sister named Pippa. I will always takes Pippa’s side. If she comes out saying we need to start eating children I will be like how you like yours?? Medium Rare?? I got you baby. Think I’m joking. Need a babysitter?? Nothing like fresh off the grill children burgers. Damn I didn’t know I could escalate further! I’m not even writing a third paragraph. I’m scared of myself at this point.

Skipping this one.

Okay 4th paragraph. Hopefully I can stop being crazy now. I will tell you what I think. That Meghan Markle chick is evil. She got her nasty claws into Prince Harry and now he is screwed. I’m sorry, but if you are going to marry a woman she should get along with the rest of your family. Or at least some of it. For crying out loud she should be liked by at least one person in your eff’ing life. I’ve seen it before. Friends that get so wrapped up in a relationship for a gazillion wrong reasons and they can’t see past their own dumbass to get out. Some of them eventually saw the light and others I still don’t get to talk to. I never married mostly because I didn’t want to ruin some nice young ladies life.

Dang it so off topic. That girl is awful. As someone that has been called the Devil on more than one occasion I can see that this chick is the real deal. She is a bitch. Sorry ladies, but there is no other way to describe her. I honestly hope Harry gets out of that somehow, but it seems he is in too deep now. When your wife makes it so you can’t have a relationship with your only brother that is a problem. They are royals. The biggest waste of time and money on the planet. It only averages about 500 million a year. Why anyone gives a crap what these people do is beyond me. Tell them to get a real job and spend the hundreds of millions on homeless people or children. Fatten them little kids up…..

Why are Harry and Meghan running around trying to get paid for stuff??? Do royals even pick up the tab??? Why do think they just take whatever they want a weird group of people rush in later to handle the bill. Does Prince Harry forget his pin code??? CBS paid them 7 million for the interview that I will never watch. That figure was in the title of an article that I did not read. Nor will I. I don’t care at all except to have a blog topic to hopefully make a couple of you laugh. That and I have been trying to find a way to use the term Child Burger for a couple weeks now. It isn’t as easy as one might think…..

That brings us to the ending. Some quick bullet points to remember. Meghan is a Bitch. Harry is a Ginger that is a sucker for a bad girl. The Queen is a vampire and will never die. She is actually quite amazing and if you read (more than this crap blog) books you should read one about her life. Amazing. Will and Kate got it made. They just have to do nothing insane and the whole world will look at them as the normal nice couple. This Meghan woman married into the biggest megaphone on the planet. Take up a cause that is not all about YOU! Nope, she is on the ME ME ME highway with no exits coming for a long time. Hopefully she runs out of gas stranded on a deserted island (yes I know how stupid that sounds) and we can forget all about her. Harry should not go on road trips with Meghan for a while. Oh and Pippa…. Call me.

So Pick a side and take notice how disgusting a person looks making everything about themselves. Be smart, be kind, and be a constant warrior for helping others. Your life will become better overnight and you’ll start having these weird feelings of being proud of yourself.

Be Kind to others simply because of the feeling you get doing so.

FknBucky

Disclosure **No woman has actually been pregnant with my baby to my knowledge.**




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