Ice cream. I love it. So much. Ben and Jerry’s half baked. Phish food. Hagen Daaz. Bryers Mint chip. Give me some more. I have had the largest cravings for the last couple hours and kept thinking “You’ve been doing so good lately, you deserve a reward…”. Nobody will fault you if you just have a little bite to give you a quick boost…. I say to that “BULLSTUFF!”
I made a goal to do a pull up. I’m going to do that damn pull up even if it kills me. I’d rather die trying to reach that goal than live with a belly full of Caramel Cone.. Okay that is lie. Caramel Cone is eff’ing delicious, but not today Ice Cream Satan.
This is a short blog because I have to run to the store and buy ice cream. Just kidding I don’t run anywhere dummy. Look I’ve made a promise to myself a few months back and I’m not going to let myself down. No one but me would know if I cheated, but I’m the only one that matters in this equation.
The point of this short memo is to let all of you know that I’m out here suffering as well. A good kind of suffer. When I wake up tomorrow I’ll know I powered thru the craving, I’m still firmly on the path to glory, and that will give me the confidence to do another day. You can do whatever it is. Don’t let that stupid ice cream satan voice in your head talk you into deviating from the journey. Success is waiting for you and I to show up. 🙂
There is power in numbers. Comment if you’re with me.
Ahhh the power company. We all need power and there is no competition so regardless of what the bill says, we have to pay it. Some of us could go back to having a campfire in our living room for heat and cooking our ramen noodles over the open flame like those that came before us, but you and I both know that isn’t happening. I get my bill and have noticed every single month there is a $49 monthly service fee. This is something that is definitely going to piss me off once I learn there is nothing I can do about it, but I’m a gluten for punishment so I make the call. No safe word needed, the MAN is going to make sure I enjoy this financial raping.
I ask my question and was told “Hang on my computer is running slow” by the very kind woman on the phone. I will be clear it isn’t her fault, she is simply first line at the S&M power company. We have some small talk for a few minutes about the weather, snow, and puppies until her screen finally populates with the answer. She says “That is a fee we charge every month to cover the cost of the poles and other stuff.” End quote. Wtf. She knew that answer long before the screen came up. All that was accomplished is I’m out $49 and now it hurts to sit down.
LUCKILY though they have juuuusssstt enough money left over to make a magazine. Yep when telephone poles don’t get hit by drunk drivers they use our monthly service fee to publish a magazine. There are no ads in it because.. wait for it. WE PAY FOR IT. Awesome. Anyone know how much it costs to print these full color magazines?? I do and it isn’t cheap. Wait a second, isn’t Bucky supposed to write positive things?? Don’t get your panties bunched up, I’m about to see the light!
This months issue has a bit of home in it. FOX RIDGE WINERY has a full page write up in this unwanted $49 monthly subscription. Not their fault. I know this awesome family from back in the day and they are amazing people that are always willing to lend a helping hand. Like if during a large snow storm a car goes into the ditch near their home. Thanks again for that by the way. I will say a tax was paid via the cold ones left behind…
The $49 fee sucks, but like all of you I’ll pay it. From now on though I’ll smile because it will make me think of the Sedas and all the hard work they have put into building this amazing local business near Traer, Iowa. I hope all of you reading this go check them out, buy some wine, and support them any way possible. Ha. You thought I couldn’t do it.
I have to remind myself to find the good in everything every day. I was so irritated about this stupid fee, but now I’ll focus on my hometown when I pay it. I’ll think of Fox Ridge Winery when I autopay my power bill instead of that darn monthly service fee. Monthly service fee sounds like something that should be looked into by DOGE, but that is another blog.
Welcome back!! Those are the words I heard when I woke up in the ICU last May. Crazy to think about how far I’ve come since that day just a few months ago. I was convinced I was going to die, that is what happened, but once again I defied the odds and did not. Staring death in the face used to be a huge deal, but somehow for me it feels more like meatloaf Wednesday. Ha. I use humor to deflect if you haven’t noticed by now.
None of us know what tomorrow will bring. It might be crazy, might be mundane, might be memorable, or it might just be another day that gets lost in the sands of time. I sports bet and have the app on my phone that allows me to bet on cricket games in Ghana. I don’t do that, but I can if I wanted to. I do however bet on NFL games and which player might score a touchdown, what team may win, or a QB that will throw for over 300 yards. I win some, I lose some, but I only bet what I might have spent on a night out when I used to drink. My point is I never actually know what is going to happen until the game is played. No one does.
The future is unscripted. Just waking up each day is a blessing and I choose to look at it that way. We don’t know what is going to happen to us each day, but there is something we can control. There is something we can plan, something we can foresee, something we can predict 100% of the time. To a gambler a prediction that never fails is a prayer answered, a dream come true, a Big Bang Theory blessing that once proven would be worth a fortune!! Now in this blog I’m about to give it to you for free. How can that be Bucky?? I’ll tell you why. It is because I love you.
What is this magic you speak of?? What can I control?? Hold on tight and take a deep breath. Your attitude. BOOM. No matter what happens in your life, you have the ability to control how you react to it, how you accept it, and how you treat others around you during it. Much easier said than done. I’m more guilty than anyone of letting my circumstances and environment control my emotions instead of me taking the reins when needed. I’m not proud of that, but I understand it which allows me to change it. You can’t improve yourself unless you admit you have some flaws. Acknowledging your imperfections isn’t a weakness and should never be looked at as such.
Being aware of your attitude is POWER. Who doesn’t want power?? Try not getting angry today. Try reacting to a situation in the complete opposite way your initial emotions tell you to. Someone takes your parking spot, tell them it is okay, they must be in a huge hurry and very important. See the shame in their face as they realize how selfish they are. Your kid makes a huge mess, don’t yell at them, understand they are probably bored and spend time doing a craft with them. Look I’m all for beating kids any chance you get, but tomorrow they will piss you off again and you can scream at them double loud. For today react backwards and see how your family, your colleagues, and the world reacts to you. You just might be surprised.
FknBucky
READ * THINK * LIVE FREE
P.S. As always if you appreciate this message please share with others. Also I would love to hear in the comments the experiences you have reacting backwards to situations in your life.
What is going on here?? I started this blog before the Iowa Caucus so that is why I’m talking about Vivek. Just because he dropped out doesn’t mean I don’t like him anymore. I’m grateful I took the time to listen to him. As genuine a person you will find.
I try hard to stay out of politics, but I could not resist talking about Vivek. The man intrigues me and truth be told, I like him. My liking him has nothing to do with him getting elected or what your opinion should be of him. I promise not to harp on this particular subject to often, but I want to take you on a written word drive right now. Buckle up!! You just might learn to use that head of yours for more than a Busch Light entry hole.
It is cold. Thanks for pointing out some obvious crap Bucky, you might say. I had an appointment with my go to Asian masseuse this morning so I had to head out around 8 am. I bought a minivan a few years ago so I could drive the wheelchairs and equipment I sell around. I thought about getting a “cooler” car, but truth is I can not pick up girls in a minivan just as good as I can not pick them up in a Porsche Cayenne. I really want one, someday I’ll be able to afford a poster of one to put above my bed or something. My minivan is cool though it has tinted windows, spilled chips, and my personal favorite smells like whatever Annie rolled in yesterday.
The minivan has a heated steering wheel. I’d never heard of such a thing to be honest and didn’t even realize it was there when I bought the van. One day it was cold and I used the auto start. When I got into the van and started driving I thought “Ooooo, that’s nice…”. There is a point, just hang on. Last I’ve thought about it. It is normal now. I was looking at new vans last night just because and found one I liked with low miles. Looking at the options on it, I noticed there was no heated steering wheel, and that meant it was a no go. That option is simply too good to give up in my tiny human brain.
Now. Let’s look at something else. Power. It is better than drugs. Making people do things because you have power over them. A boss. A parent. A tough guy. A politician. Hmmm interesting now eh.. A boss can be fired. A parent can only rule 18 years. A tough guy, well there is always someone tougher. A politician only needs to manipulate your tiny brain every few years. You see the power they acquire is like my heated steering wheel. They can’t give it up. Seemingly good people corrupt themselves in the name of “helping you”, helping me, helping the guy that can’t help himself. They remind themselves how important and smart they are. You would be lost without them so that justifies hanging onto that power no matter what it takes.
They say “This is good for you, trust me!” Nope. My BS meter goes off anytime someone says this is good for you. How do you know what is good for me? You aren’t me. You’re not my spouse, best friend, or at the very least someone that knows what color Tommy John I got on today. These boxer briefs are like heaven. Worth every penny even though I shoplift mine. As long as you’re under $1,000 they don’t prosecute. Hey don’t blame me. You keep voting these idiots into power. I had to Bucky, the TV told me the other guy was racist and killed gays on the weekend. Just knowing your level of stupid exists makes me feel better about myself.
Every year the power these folks have becomes more and more addicting. For Big Bangs sake why do we have senators that are 90 some years old?? WHY??? 50 years in public service. I have another beef there. Public service my butt. Why you worth 200 million when you started out broke?? Job only pays $150,000 a year. I don’t blame the politicians. I blame you. I blame me. My parents. Your parents. Our neighbors. We allow it to happen over and over and over….. As long as they have a D or an R by their name they are on my side. Here is the truth. You don’t have a side.
So money and power. Hmmm thank baby Jesus (Just watched Talladaga nights) that money and power have never corrupted good people in the history of mankind. Clearly the 700 folks that have it would never do anything questionable to keep it. They lie to your face. They manipulate facts to push their agenda. They suppress video evidence. They lose emails. They hide behind this and that. They kill Jeff. There is nothing they won’t do to keep the power, the money, and the opportunity for MORE.
I just wanted a heated steering wheel. My brain went all crazy blaming my steering wheel wishes on corrupt politicians. Now I will get a cold wheel and get rid of power steering to try and save my soul.
Stop following, trusting, and believing in people because “they” tell you to.
Another week comes to an end. Summer 2021 has come to an end. In a week we will be in the last quarter of this year. How does time go by so fast?? I do quite a bit of reflecting on my life. I don’t mean looking back with regrets, but looking back to see how much progress I’ve made on my goals for life. I only have one question for you. If not now, then when??? When will you start your own business, when are going to travel to the place you dream of, when are you going to talk with the cute girl at the office?? If you start looking at life with ”when” instead of “what if” you will find it to be more rewarding.
What if is what dreamers ask. They secretly wish this and that happened or will happen with no real plan. Days, months, and years go by without any tangible progress towards the ”what if” you keep saying to yourself. What if I move? What if I go back to school? What if I talk to her? What if I go out on my own? While asking yourself these questions can be useful, it can also lead to negative thinking that always finds a way of coming true. In life you ALWAYS get what you think about. Read the book ”The Secret” if you haven’t already. If you have read it again. The issue of asking “what if” is the answers you give yourself. If I move, I won’t have friends there, if I go back to school and fail, if I talk to her she might not like me, and if I start my own business and don’t make it????
The negative answers always come and now you have already been unsuccessful without doing a darn thing. Seems like a bad plan to make your life awesome. Change your way of thinking by simply using a different word. When I move I’ll have the opportunity to start with a clean slate and the reality is your friends aren’t going anywhere. When I go back to school I’ll be on my way to building my self confidence, learn new skills, and be on way to making more money doing something I love. When I talk with her I may find out she has been waiting on my dumbass to say hello. When I start my own business I can finally start to do things my way and stop making others money.
I started my own business 2 years ago. COVID didn’t help, but there will always be challenges. If it wasn’t COVID there would be something else to overcome. Regardless of skin color, gender, rich, poor, sexuality, or any of the other labels media and politicians use to divide us there will be problems. If your parents did their job you will have no problems identifying them and solving them. You don’t understand Bucky. Some random guy called me a racist word in the grocery store parking lot. Perfect now you have an excuse to be angry and complain the world is against you. You give a lot of power to some ignorant moron you’ll never see again. I say ”Fuck that guy.” Not literally. Move on and forget it. Explain to me how arguing with idiots helps you reach your goals…
The beauty of being a ”when” thinker is you will subconsciously start to put a date on it. When I talk to that girl tomorrow I’ll know if she is interested or not, allowing me to stop wasting energy on the ”what if”. You might find out her Dad is the racist you ran into at the Piggly Wiggly which helps you decide if you want to raise little white power babies. Racism isn’t funny Bucky. Thanks for pointing out some obvious shit. Now move on and take this big sack of worthless anger with you. I hope one day you learn to just leave it and not fill that sack up in the first place. Lots of great people in this world, don’t waste time on crappy people, and learn to ask yourself “when” instead of “what if”.
Many times the things that I write are a reminder to me instead of a ”lesson” to you. I get caught up with the anger, the sadness, the fear of failure, and the worthless habit of blaming others for my problems. That last one will be another blog coming soon, but for today I really hope you use this blog as motivation to reflect on your own life to see what questions you’re asking.
I wrote this at 4 AM this morning, but just getting around to sharing it now. Not sure where this all came from, but it sounded good to me. I’m a when person and not a what if.
Monday. I hope everyone is excited to tackle a new week. If you find yourself dreading the work week then it is time to start looking at how to make some changes. I’m going to say some mind blowing stuff right now so hang on tight. YOU ONLY GET ONE LIFE. One. As in ONE. Here is the real kicker. None of us know how long the ride last. Due to ZERO fault on your part, your life could be done in a few hours. A few days. Heck a few years. I was blessed in the fact that I understood this at an early age. I didn’t give a F&$# what people thought about me because I woke up everyday ready to do life the way I wanted. Mind you I didn’t steal things because thieves are scum and I went out of my way to bring everyone along for the ride. I actively looked for the people usually left out so I could bring them in. I know that feeling of left out and it sucks. I truly believe you have to experience things to understand them. Maybe that is my life. I’m supposed to help others get off the bench and into the game of life. I don’t care what happens to me, I will never ride the pine.
I am reminded of a time back in the snowboarding days. Sorry I know I keep going back to this well, but I miss it. So much. Not being able to snowboard is the one thing that truly makes me so sad about the accident. It was mine. It was my meditation, my sanctuary, and my forever love. Only people that have lived that lifestyle understand how precious those moments are. I do remind myself I was lucky enough to have had the times I did. The friends that I made were more like family. We are all spread out now and most of them have kids, real jobs, and been domesticated as that is what you do. I do however know for a fact every once in a while they like me look to the sky and say a quiet thank you. We had those times that no one can ever take away from us. The flaming rail slides in my backyard, the Pantera mosh pit at 3 AM in the Leadville house, the first chair on powder days, the beers in the afternoon paid for by the green card, and the thousands of other memories I cherish. It was during this time a moment happened that I think of from time to time.
You don’t have to have special powers to be super hero to others. My real name is Allen. Some of you probably didn’t know that so boom mind blown moment. Many people ask me why the nickname Bucky. I almost never tell. The way it started was me seeing Bronson Pinchot on the Tonight show. He played Balki on the TV show perfect strangers. He said that the name Balki was a nickname he had been given while in elementary school. When asked why he got that nickname he smiled to himself and said no way was he telling. I never wanted to know something so badly. Hence from then forward I didn’t tell. Still don’t so if you are one of the trusted who know the secret, stay trusted and keep your mouth shut. The guessing is actually my favorite part. People come up with some wild stories. Makes me laugh.
There was a kid name Billy John Tom (BJT and absolutely not the real name) that worked at the mountain. He was a super nice kid, but he had a smell about him. I don’t know why and didn’t ask him. He had a massive heart and was down to help anyone anytime. I felt bad that he was alienated by his peers, but lucky for me I could help. I was popular. People looked up to me on the mountain. I’m not being arrogant just being real. I was good looking, confident, funny, and I was a pretty good snowboarder. I was also broke as F&$# every day so I had to be funny to get girls. My man BJT was not those things. Almost daily the subject of where Bucky came from would come up and people would make crazy guesses. Obviously none of them were close to the truth. It became more of a game than people actually wanting to know I believe, but again the mystery part of it made it fun.
One night after work I was having a few beers (like 40 probably) with a beautiful girl from Columbia (the Country), and my guy BJT was there. Maybe one day I’ll write a blog about the girl and her roommate. Or maybe not. The subject of the nickname came up and I decided right there I was going to tell BJT the truth. I asked him to keep it to himself which he did, but from that moment on he knew something nobody else did. He was “in” a small group and felt welcomed. He felt like he belonged. I am good at reading people and knowing (most times) what to say to make them feel better about themselves. First of all to do this you can’t lie. Whatever you tell someone to lift them up must be true or it will only cause more hurt. Lying is never the right option. I was still pretty young in those days, and I’m not sure what made me want to tell BJT the secret. I never regretted doing so.
He never told a soul what my secret was and I couldn’t buy a more loyal friend. He knew I didn’t have to tell him, but I did out of kindness and he appreciated it. I bet if I become famous and someone offered him $100,000 dollars to tell the story there is a good chance he would turn it down. Mainly because my other crap bag friends would do it for $11.47 which makes them pricks. The $.47 is a shout out to my favorite transgender friend that reads this blog.
Look for the person that feels left out and then find a way to get them in. It will make you feel great to do and just might change someone’s life in the process. You don’t know someone’s history and everyone at the end of the day simply wants to be part of the group, to be accepted, and just have friends. I’ve always told myself that I’ll be that friend and do all I can to make sure someone isn’t left out. You don’t have to travel around the globe to make a difference in the world. Sometimes you can make a difference in the room you’re currently standing in.
Want to know the secret to life?? Make life fun for the people around you. Mess with people. You don’t have to be vicious or mean, but mess with their head a little bit. The first and most important step is to learn how to laugh at yourself. This is also a skill. Stop taking the “life” thing so seriously. No one gets out alive. You only get so much time. Here is the deal if you make an effort to make people in your inner circle feel good about themselves and laugh, your life improves. Now ready for the real mind blowing simplistic fact?? Imagine if everyone did that. If everyone on planet Earth could stop thinking about themselves and scheming on how to get more for ME the whole world could change overnight.
In the military the soldiers don’t fight for freedom back home, or for the right for some jerk to be able to burn the American flag, but for their brothers next to them. They put it all on the line for the guy/gal on their left and right. Freedom and flag burning jackhole are the results of this brotherhood and trust between those on the battlefield. When the bullets start flying they fight to keep the ones next to them safe and understand that those 2 people are doing the exact same thing. Together they are stronger and do not bend.
We don’t have any bullets flying at us or it doesn’t happen to often anyway, but we do have sour puss people in our lives that simply want to drag you and anyone else around them down into the poor me level. Don’t give in. It sucks down there. Say enjoy your trip into crybaby land, throw up some deuces, and be like peace out. Then avoid that crappy person for the rest of your life. Don’t worry they will find some other sucker to listen to the constant bitching, and together they can wallow around in the “world is too hard” mud together.
The world isn’t hard, you’re just a human that gets exactly what you deserve. You think negative, creating a basket full of crap thoughts, and then throw your negative seeds everywhere you go. Sooner or later that first negative seed starts to grow. And then another grows. And another. Pretty soon you have created a big fat negative forest that you live in. Of course you cry to anyone that will listen about how did this happen?? You freaking created it. That is what happened. You wanted the poor me sympathy from anyone who would willingly give it to you and then you just kept going. There is no one to blame but yourself and I’ll believe that until I’m killed by a gang of Chinese hookers at the age of 56 while out for a morning jog. Never ask a witch in the forest how you die. Lesson learned here the hard way.
Learn to smile. Learn to look at setbacks as learning opportunities. Learn to embrace others in your life warmly and leave your BS at the door. They don’t want to hear it. We all have stuff to deal with. You’re not special. I will gladly help anyone that needs it when I’m in a position to do so. You can ask anyone that knows me personally I am one of the first people call because they know I will help if possible and that I won’t hold back if I feel they need a kick in the ass. Don’t ask to borrow money. Chinese friends are expensive so I have no extra cash. The reason nobody likes you is because you don’t like yourself. It is sad and I wish it wasn’t the truth for so many, but when you have all this negative energy spewing out of you it is impossible to be happy alone because you suck.
So fix it and stop complaining about how you never catch a break all the time. The breaks are there. They always are, but when you are hell bent on crying about “poor me” those opportunities roll right on by to the next person ready to take advantage of them. Good things happening don’t come with a flashing light and hundred dollar bills raining from the sky which is what your lazy whining butt wants. No. They come in the shape of hard work, waking up everyday and getting after it, and believing in yourself. I can think of a dozen people I would like to tattoo this message on their chest, but I don’t waste my time anymore. If you aren’t willing to fix yourself, I’m not giving my energy to you. Nope, I say hello politely and then move on because my life is short and I’m going to take advantage of every opportunity I can identify. Wasting anytime in the crybaby mud hole isn’t for me.
So get after it. Smile A LOT. Help others. Go out of your way to help those that appreciate it, but always expect nothing in return. Expecting nothing means you can feel good about your deed and not have the let down thoughts like “I was sure person X would go on Facebook and tell everyone how great I am for helping.” If this is what you want stay home. You don’t get it. Simply put be happy you’re a good person inside and let that be enough because in the grand scheme of things this is the ONLY thing that truly matters.
Be kind to others and remember random acts of kindness make you a better person.
FknBucky 