Posts Tagged ‘quad

23
May
25

You are blessed

What are you thankful for today?? Simple question, but do you ever stop and ask yourself?? I spend my days helping people in difficult situations. The things these individuals have to endure make my challenges look like a speed bump in a brand new parking lot. It truly helps me put things into perspective and I feel like it is almost my duty to share some of these experiences with all of you. I promise if you read the next three paragraphs you will be so eff’ing thankful for your life just how it is right now.

I was recently asked to deliver a table by a company in FL. It isn’t what I do, I was annoyed by it, but could tell the gentlemen asking me was becoming desperate to find someone to handle this small task. I know how that goes. Anyone know people that do Sheetrock? Okay back on topic. This delivery is such a small thing to me, but I have to remind myself that it is massive to the customer that needs this piece of specialized equipment. I gave them my usual fee of $10,000 per hour and they countered with $50 total. I accepted. I can get shrimp flavored ramen this week baby!!

Turns out it isn’t just a delivery. I had to go out to measure the world, pick the right product, fill out all the paperwork, submit it, receive the specialty table, assemble it, and then drive back out there to deliver it. Goodbye shrimp flavor……. I found out the customer has a pressure sore so I changed my schedule to go out immediately. They also asked if I could make sure his air mattress was functioning correctly. Again not what I do, but I certainly can and pressure sores are no joke so if I can help anyone avoid that horrid highway, I throw my cape on and drive fast.

Regardless, I was less than enthusiastic to do all this, but it needed to be done and I was the guy asked to do it. I reminded myself of that and put my best smile on. It truly is my favorite outfit. I knocked on the apartment door, a gorgeous young lady opened the door saying something, but I couldn’t hear a dang thing as 4 yappy dogs were going berserk-O! My sister used to talk about getting a dog like that when she gets older and then name it Dammit so she can scream at it.

“Shut up Dammit”

”Get over here Dammit”

Haha. Let me know what commands you would yell at Dammit in the comments.

I was led inside of a very small, but clean apartment. The neighborhood wasn’t the best in Charlotte, but it was clear a lot of hard working people lived here and I can respect that. I saw a large wedding photo on the wall surrounded by lots of smaller ones showing a loving family. I enjoy being welcomed into peoples homes and seeing their lives. The smile is genuine. I was led down a hallway, into the back bedroom, and as the door opened I saw him. All of the air left my lungs while a slight feeling of shame came over me for not wanting to do this task. I realized then I would have done it for free if someone had explained to me what was actually going on.

The man laying on the air mattress was the same one standing tall in that wedding photo. That photo. Still burned into my mind. The beautiful bride smiling in such bright truly happy way. The type of smile that screams “This is the best day of my life”. I didn’t have to ask what the worst day was. This young man was a quadriplegic. He is unable to move his arms and legs, unable to lift his head, and still has the trach in for when breathing becomes too difficult on his own. I believe he was hit by a drunk driver while working. I don’t know the exact story and I never ask because it isn’t my business. Sometimes people share, but I never ask for details simply because I don’t like anyone to relive the worst moment on Earth for me. Think about that before your morbid curiosity kicks in next time.

I thought about my complaining the last week about having to pay $180 to a stupid parking company. I needed this reminder of what true hardship is and immediately told myself that the Bucky pity party was officially over. My life isn’t the easiest, but I have so many blessings. So do you. If you’re not laying on your back staring at a ceiling unable to move then you’re blessed. I’m a writer. I don’t get paid to do it, yet, but I truly believe one day I will. I feel like today my job is to make you aware of just how awesome you are and amazing your life is right now. Your job is to remember that.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIFE FREE

02
Jun
24

No More Air for FknBucky

Let’s face it you are all a bunch of sick puppies that want to know the details of FknBucky almost dying. You will get them because I promised to always be honest on here. It has been a very dark road and one I wish I could have avoided, but I will make jokes cause that is what I do. If I was about to be shot in the head, I would ask the shooter to promise to tell the hospital that I did NOT die of Covid. It is just who I am. Marry a funny man if you want to have a fun life. I’m taking apps (women only), bunch of savages….

FYI, My hand and arm are still numb and won’t work correctly. My strength is about 40%. Prayers and respect to all Quads. If you know a Quad or see one, give them an hug and say how amazing their strength is. Some of the strongest people on Earth. As my hand comes back I’ll be able to type and blogs will come faster.

On to dying. I was at home for days stuck in bed feeling sick. I couldn’t get up to take Annie outside or feed her. I could not get up to use the restroom properly and my home became a complete mess. It was overwhelming in so many ways and very disheartening to a person like me that demands the best from myself. To no longer have the strength to live with the independence I cherish came very close to crushing my spirit in the ultimate way. It hurt so much inside. I don’t care about pissing on myself as it happens when people get older and when a person is a paraplegic. The disheartening and soul crushing part was not being able to clean up myself.

My Mom (Carol – Thank You so much) came out to help after I admitted I was in a bad way. My breathing was horrid. I’ve been doing it for 45 years, but for some reason I could not get air. I had to sit cross legged with my head down to breathe. Imagine having to stay in one spot/position to get air. It sucked. Life was happening around me, with people coming and going, the lawn being mowed, packages coming, and I was a statue taking small breaths to simply stay alive. After a week, I called an ambulance. Have I ever mentioned how stubborn I am??

In the ER they found my kidney to be infected again. WOW. I could have told them that. I go thru the motions and get checked into room 7911. Small room. First time in my life I had…. Who knows. I started that sentence earlier and can’t remember what the heck I was planning to say. Oh now I do. Oxygen. First time they put the oxygen on me. It was weird. Didn’t get me high though like they say in fight club. Stupid hospital oxygen. I spent days in that room stuck in bed. No moving just fighting to breathe all day and night. Ma spent the night because it was so rough. My eyes were yellow, body beaten down, very little humor or smiles from me, just pain, hurt, and worry.

Day 4 or 5 I was up again. No sleep in the hospital. NONE. Remember my spasms were going crazy the entire time. They always wanted to lay me flat on my back , irritate the kidney, and make my legs & stomach go insane. My stomach spasms are so strong I can’t breathe when they go. It becomes a clamp on my lungs that makes taking a breath impossible. Think about how scary that would be. Sitting there minding your own business and WHAM you can’t bring air into your body with no idea when it will stop. Now imagine it happens a hundred plus times a day/night.

The clock was 6 AM. The nurse and doctor were talking about discharging me that day. My Mom and I insisted that would not be good for me. I told Mom that I would die if they sent me home as I could feel a lot was wrong still. Everything they were doing was not improving my situation. I couldn’t breathe and my spasms were still going crazy. Remember I had been struggling to breathe for weeks, but now it was real. I was gasping and using all the tiny bit of strength I had to get the smallest amounts of air. It is a crazy feeling to try so hard bring air in and get nothing over and over and over and over…. I was getting legit scared. I have a lot I want to do yet in life. I don’t want to die, not like this…. A fast car on a mountain road, spontaneous combustion, a crazy ex-girlfriend and a kid that ain’t mine, or my favorite going out with a smile at a decently old age after giving away every penny I have to those less fortunate than I am.

The more I struggled the more people came into my tiny room to watch me die. The door was a huge wooden one that the nurse and doctor kept shutting very hard which loud noises make my spasms go off making it double hard to breathe again. Once the doctor came in yelling at me and Mama bear yelled “Hey watch your TONE!!!” My Mom sat back and told me to trust the doctors, but when it goes too far this Farm Mama will stab you with a pitch fork.

Breath so bad it deserves 3 pictures.

The big time doctor came in. He had scrubs on and was a, well male, so you know he was in charge.. Oooo that will get some all stirred up. RELAX. Women are super important. Who else would hold stuff while the doctor works???? He was right up in my grill and clearly ate dog poo for breakfast. Worst breath ever. I was dying. He kept telling me to breathe but I was trying to blow his shit breath away. Take air in, no way, not smelling like that. Here comes death. All the money and time to train a doctor they can’t have one day to learn how to pop an ALTOID before getting in the face of a dying person. Heck, you have a woman right there ready to hold them for you. Ha.

If you mad at a couple men/women jokes this blog is going hurt long term. Take a breathe. Smile. See how easy that is. I couldn’t do it the other day. Don’t get upset at stupid words. If you do, you’ll never have a happy day. On to my death.

I had to see my Mom’s face as I going out. No one should ever have to see that. My Mom’s sad/crushed face while smelling shit breath from a doctor telling me to breathe like I somehow forgot in the last 6 seconds. Pretty much the worst way to go. I couldn’t speak anymore. Not sure if I would have said if I could have. Maybe “Goodbye Ma or Someone got a tic tac for dog shit breath doctor here??” It is a toss up. Then I ran out of gas. Completely. I stopped breathing. I had not one more gasp in me. I just stopped.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

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21
Feb
20

Parking Madness

FF564D62-FA7E-4BFD-98EA-B8E3602E318DLet’s get right into it. I will never understand the individuals that believe it is okay to park in a handicap parking spot.  I see it every single day.  Charlotte, NC is actually one of the worst places I’ve experienced for this problem.  If you can walk be proud of that shit and walk an extra few feet leaving the close up parking for people that might actually need it.  I tell people if I get my legs back I’ll skip everywhere I go.  Heck, I’ll park two blocks away in the rain just to skip a little further.  Plus no one get abducted while skipping.  It is a safety thing.  Okay back on subject here.  Jessica Alba is so damn hot, wait what was I doing, oh yeah parking….  Seriously what is wrong with your head that you don’t get that parking in a blue man spot, in between them, or in any way screwing them up for people that need them is a crappy thing to do???

281B8AAD-825E-4A8A-9CE4-330CB20742A0I saw this truck today while walking a friends dog.  This might be the dumbest thing I’ve seen since the last time I saw someone parked like this.  Like I said it happens way to much.  I don’t personally care about parking close to the building that I’m trying to go in. I just need the extra space so that I can open my car door the whole way.  When I park in a regular spot someone parks too close to me and I can’t get in my own vehicle.  This means I have to ask a random stranger to back my van out.  I don’t like having random people driving my car ever, as I think all other drivers suck.  My bad I meant to say I KNOW they all suck.

This part is my favorite.  What do you think it is??  Oh yeah the apology.  Which is complete bullshit.  You had the ignorance to park there, might as well own it. Come out and say “Stupid cripples should just stay home” or maybe “Old people are a nuisance and walk too slow, screw them”.  To simply throw “I’m sorry” out when you get caught doesn’t mean a thing.  You’re not sorry you did something awful, you’re just sorry you got caught.  You’ll do it again and again because you simply don’t give a shit.  Don’t act like you do care because if you did, you’d NEVER park in those spots.  It is that simple.

BA6F7B30-ED81-475C-ABD9-AA6591F02B3AMy friends in Charlotte learned how much this happens in the last year.  I would mention to them about the parking lot of a particular establishment we would meet up for prayer meetings.  Yes that is my story, moving on.  After a while they would start to look at the blue man spots to see if they were open or had cars in them that should not be there.  Now they were getting angry.  I have to let it go right after I see it or I’ll be pissed off all the time.  They had to learn this as well.  This problem happens every single day.  Maybe it is because I’m out so often and have more chances to see assholes parked illegally or maybe it is really that problematic.  If I let a parking issue ruin my day I would have A LOT of ruined days and per the last blog I’m not willing to give these idiots one of my days.

In life we all have to decide what kind of person we want to be.  This is not difficult.  It is as simple as parking in a handicap spot or not.  If you park illegally in a handicap spot you are choosing to be a shitty person. Enjoy that.

Think about it.

FknBucky




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