I’m trying not to puke or punch someone in the face. That is the text back I got when I asked someone about Ryan. I like everyone else am in complete disbelief. Never in a million years would I have thought something like this could happen. Not in Traer. Worst thing that usually happens is a bloody lip from a disagreement at a keg party. We are good old boys. Work hard play hard. Up at dawn, work all day, and then drink some Busch Light with the boys at night. Growing up, marriage, having kids and the responsibilities that come with those things takes away the beers with the boys time, but there is a brotherhood, a bond that gets created and once a member you are always a member. Time and distance do not cancel the membership.
Time goes by, stories get more colorful, the truth gets stretched a little further, our beer bellies get bigger each year, but the brotherhood never waivers. It doesn’t matter if I saw you last week or ten years ago we start up right where we left off. I chose to move away and haven’t lived in Traer for 20 years. Doesn’t matter I’m a lifetime member. Money can’t get you into this club, there is no leadership, and no real rules to follow except simply be a decent human. The biggest unwritten rule is when your friends come over to help you get a job done, you had better have plenty of Busch Light on ice in the cooler for when the tools get put away the beers start cracking open.
We lost a great brother the other night. I can’t think of a kinder man who could have been the face of our unofficial boys club. I met him long before I moved to Iowa. I remember he had a motorcycle when we were young and I thought that was so cool. Our Dads knew each other growing up so when we would visit Traer, we would sometimes stop at the Cooper farm. Dad and Jan would drink beer and reminisce while Ryan and I would stay under the radar doing what boys do. Cause a ruckus somewhere, but try not to get caught doing it.
Like all of us in life there are ups and downs. Ryan was not immune to the rollercoaster life, but he always had a smile and was a good friend to anyone that needed one. Like everyone else in Traer I’ve spent the last two days reliving the memories I have of him. I can’t remember a time where he was confrontational with anyone. He wasn’t weak but rather so easy going that there was never a need to embrace conflict. I’ve known a few people like this and it is special. I think that might this situation even harder to understand. How can someone so good at avoiding conflict have something like this happen in our small town?? The hardest part is knowing even if all the answers come it won’t bring our brother back. To say he will be missed is an extreme understatement.
We haven’t kept in touch the last few years, but for a while there we did SnapChat back and forth. Getting Snapchat’s from the cab of his semi truck while he hauled cattle always made me laugh. Ryan was blessed growing up in a family with a solid business helping keep them financially secure, but you wouldn’t know that to talk with him. He never presented himself better than anyone else and worked just as hard as the rest of the crew. I admired that quality as I’ve met plenty of men that sit back counting Daddy’s money as if they accomplished something.
I know that the Traer community along with the unofficial brotherhood there will step up and help his family get thru this. I can’t fathom what they must be going thru at this time. As my friend in the beginning of this blog said “I’m trying not to be sick” as this situation leaves me lost on what to do. I’ve traveled more than most, made friends from all over the globe, and appreciate them all. The bond that one makes with friends growing up is the strongest friendship bond there is. I’m no stranger to tragedy, but this one is so unnecessary and sudden that it is incredibly hard to accept.
Ryan Cooper will always be a member of the Busch Light Brotherhood (I know how cheesy that sounds, but I had to call it something) in Traer, Iowa. He will never be forgotten and the character I knew him to have will be honored. My heart is completely broken when I think of his boys having to continue growing up with only memories of their Dad. I know there are plenty of good men in Traer that will make sure they understand how great of a man their Dad was. It is times like this that I really dislike living so far from home, but my feelings of sadness and anger with this situation are like I never left. It hurts my heart and it sucks. Things like this aren’t supposed to happen to us. This is something you see in the news happening somewhere far away.
I know the community there will rise up to help his family because that is what small town Iowa does. My thoughts and prayers are with his family. I truly hope they get some answers and over time have some closure. There is no map to follow in a situation like this. You just have to get up everyday, do the best you can, and honor your loved one by living your best life. I have trouble expressing emotions in my real life, but I’ve found I can vent things out with writing. I’m so so so sorry this happened and my heart breaks for the entire Cooper family. The loss of a husband/life partner, a father, son, brother, and friend is such a tragedy. No one should have to go thru what they are, but the strength of that small Iowa farm town and the brotherhood Ryan was a member of will be there to help every step of the way.
RIP Ryan. You will never be forgotten and the memories we have of you will live on forever.
Tell people you care about “you love them” everyday. It is important. Don’t wait to chase your dreams.
WIth a very heavy broken heart,
FknBucky
FknBucky 