Posts Tagged ‘quit

11
Mar
25

Perfect

What is up?? Let’s get right into today. Being the best. I strive for it in everything I do. I’ve had many people tell me that I’m the type of person that is good at everything I do. Maybe not riding motorcycles, but we can all agree that day sucked. I do however take pride in my work, my play, my ability to think, and all the other things that come about in my life. I believe everyone should think this way. They should take pride in their work, their marriage, their kids, their home, and their body. Ahhh you knew I was going to get there.

I’m on this health kick if you haven’t noticed. My perfection can become a downfall and I have to take notice before it starts to chip away at the progress I have made. I have this tick in my brain that wants all of my activities to be the absolute best every single time, but that has created a mountain that can’t always be climbed. In fact it stops me from even putting on my climbing shoes. I somehow decide if I can’t do it perfectly, I should just not do it. Sounds kinda stupid once I type it out.

I want the weight loss. I want the energy. I want to feel good about myself. I think about working out, but then I have thoughts like I’m tired, I’m not feeling that awesome, I’m this/I’m that, or I’m just being a pansy. If I can’t do my workout like a beast then I should just wait until I feel better. That is quitter mentality. The truth is right there in front of me, but I’m not wanting to see it. This week has been a hard one, but I pushed thru and learned a very important lesson.

Who cares. Who cares if I’m not 100% into the workout every single day. What matters is I complete it. Maybe it takes an extra 22 minutes. Maybe I have to take an extra break here and there. The importance is that I simply DO IT. The mental win is better than “killing it”. My heart fills up with self pride every time I finish no matter how much time it took or how I looked doing it. I know I took another step up that mountain and nobody can stop me from completing the climb. Nobody, but myself that is.

We’ve all heard the slogans. Just do it. Never give up. Keep trying. Blah blah blah. It is all crap if you don’t put your shoes on. If those slogans worked every American would be in shape right now. It is hard to do what I’m currently doing. Way harder than I originally thought, but I don’t care how difficult it is. I’m going to succeed. I weighed myself today and I’m down 8 lbs in a month. I wish it was more, but that will come.

Perfection is the goal, but I had to learn that the path leading to it is filled with imperfections. That is a very deep sentence so instead of telling you to read it again, I’m going to type it out again.

Perfection is the goal, but I had to learn that the path leading to it is filled with imperfections.

FknBucky.

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27
May
24

meet FKNBucky

I am ALIVE!!! This is true.

I am blessed. This is also true.

More truth for you. I have been in the hospital since April 30thish, 2024…… I went down for the big count. Around May 5th I ran out of air. I was no longer able to breathe. I was told for days by hospital staff that I was simply having a panic attacks. I do a lot of things. I curse to much. I call stupid lazy people stupid and lazy to their face. I love my family/friends. I make very inappropriate jokes/comments. I laugh at racist jokes. Mostly after I say them.

What I don’t do is panic. Ever.

I’ve had a bad kidney for over 6 years. I’ve had some other health issues for a lot longer. I’ve been trying to get these problems identified and handled and have tried for a very long time. Why don’t I tell you??? Cause you got your own BS to handle. I mean that in a positive light. I never planned for this to blow up so big and become such a hard thing to deal with. I had no strength, energy, and it sucked. I had no phone calls, emails, and couldn’t take of Annie. Some of the hardest and darkest days off my life. No doubt.

Slight side note, but relevant:

I am comfortable with violence. I think a punch in the mouth is needed sometimes. Given and received depending on what time you started day drinking. Day drinking with a side of violence. I love Wisconsin so much…. And IA, and NY, and AL, GA, NC, SC, KY, NJ, and a former CO resident named Nate from NJ, Dave Dean, and many others . When I fell out/died at the hospital for almost 3 days last week they forgot to move my left arm. Now it is numb and don’t work. Being a quad is HARD. I have so much more respect for those who face that challenge everyday.

It is Slllllloooooooowwwwly coming back. I feel like I should be able to punch the person responsible in their face without jail time. My left arm/hand is dominant although I am ambidextrous, but both arms are equal when attempting to push a wheelchair in a straight line. My logic is I should get to dot Billy’s “move the arm guy” eye so he sees fuzzy out his left eye while I’m stuck rolling in circles….. What if Billy is a girl Bucky??? Duh. I do the right thing and use gender neutral violence obviously throwing the headbutt. I’m not stupid. I am funny however and you love my genuine ass.

Now that I can use a phone again I have a lot of blogs to write. You will enjoy them. I’m sorry many of you had no idea how sick I was. I couldn’t type and it happened fast. PLEASE follow this blog and the podcast. Future info will come thru here and the podcast. I have a large family and SSOOO many amazing friends from all over the world. You are the reason I never stop fighting for my life or my right to say messed up things to make people laugh. This experience will be shared fully and I’m hoping to write blogs daily, but I also have a ton of therapy and life to catch up on.

I love you all. Truly. My family. My friends. My colleague’s who are both. Without you all there is no Allen, no nBucky, no FknBucky, no fight, no stories, and I owe all of you my life. Thank you.

FknBucky

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15
Jan
22

A Kick in the Ass

Saturday night. I have playoff football playing in the background. I have another wheelchair I need to put together, but keep avoiding it because it is going to be a pain in the butt. I know better than to put things off that need to be done, but it is supposed to snow tomorrow here in Charlotte which means the city will be closed down for a few days. I believe it is going to be a lot of ice so I have no reason to drive around in that crap. I trust myself but I have zero confidence in the other drivers here in the South.

Sad to see Bob Saget pass away. We all grew up watching full house. I still remember seeing Bob do stand up comedy on HBO for the first time. I was blown away at how dirty he was. He was way beyond controversial. A few times I was even thinking ”Damn you can’t say that”, but he did say it and I loved him for it. I love people that say whatever they want. The ones that are always offended can piss off. You’re boring. Nobody wants to walk on your eggshells.

Bob had a chance to make a lot of money being a TV Dad and he took it. Can’t fault him for that although some do. It is different times now though with Instagram, Tik Toc, twitter, and all the other ways dumb drunk kids tell on themselves. Thank God there were no video cameras around when I was young although I was able to make myself memorable most times without pics or video. Only 1 FknBucky on the planet and you knew when you met him. My goal is to continue writing this year and find ways to get my blog out to the masses. It starts with writing more. I get ideas for blogs, but have been lacking in the follow thru department. You can’t chase dreams sitting still.

Whatever it is you want, you have to go get it. Everything is achievable if you are willing to put in the work. You don’t get to live your dream if you crush 12 beers every night. Well unless your dream is to crush 12 busch lights every night. Then you’ve made it friend. I hope your dreams are a bit bigger than this. I mean if you want to dream go for it all!!! 18 Busch Lights a night!! I believe in you. The truth is you have to be working when others aren’t. No matter what it is you desire, I guarantee you there are 100 other humans on Earth chasing the same thing. When you quit at 5 pm everyday, there is someone else pushing till 6 pm, 7 pm, all night.

My dream is to travel and write. I am going to make it. I see myself doing it already. If you can’t see me reaching all of my goals you don’t know me very well. I get down on myself, have hard times, doubt myself, and say F it I’m done. I don’t though. I don’t quit, I have my pity moment and then I get back to the grind. I’m thinking I wrote this blog for myself. I needed a kick in the ass. We all need an extra push from time to time. That is why great friends are important to have or a wonderful wife that is willing to physically harming you to make sure you get out of bed and chase that dream…..

RIP Bob — I’m willing to bet wherever Bob Saget is, he is hitting on Betty White right now. Play on Playa!!

FknBucky

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