Posts Tagged ‘sad



10
Sep
23

No Bad Kids

The world is a crazy place. Different cultures, different people, different color of people, different languages, different trees, different crops, different laws, and on and on. I spent my early years getting picked on daily by the other kids at school. I’ve talked about this before. I hated it. I felt alone all the time. I was around people just like me, but somehow I was not part of the group. No differences, but clearly we were not the same. It sucked.

It was also a major blessing. These experiences made me appreciate friendships on a massive level. Not having something makes a person appreciate it more once they get it. Hence why working for something is better than someone giving it to you, but that is a message for another day. My appreciation for friendships allowed to make thousands of friends over the years. Young, old, white, black, Mexicans, Germans, Asians, gay, straight, and blah blah blah.

Having all these different points of view has been very educational for myself and I’m very thankful for that. The other side is I know a lot of people that pass away. Someday it will be me. We all go sometime so work hard to be a person remembered for the right reasons. I lost a friend this week who should be remembered by the world for things you don’t know about and it is a shame. She was an amazing human and I’m a better person because of the conversations we had. I was young when I met her as one of my friends dated her Granddaughter so when we went over there she would talk with us.

We drank beer and she allowed it because knew we would be safe there and she knew if she didn’t we would have gone out driving around. The lesser of two evils I suppose. She took care of her two granddaughters for reasons that aren’t your business or mine for that matter. I wish I was able to talk and see them as I will always care and love them, but life happens and we all get busy with the paths we have taken. Some great times and memories of those days. Sitting there at times I would find myself talking with Leona about all types of stuff. She didn’t like the drinking, but instead of screaming NO like a crazy person she would ask “Why do you think you need the beer??”

That type of conversation was foreign to me. If my Dad didn’t want me to do something he told me he would kill me if I did it again. Sometimes that worked and sometimes a it made me learn how to hide it better. I would struggle to answer her question because no one ever asked me a question like that before and actually cared about my answer. I had no idea how important those conversations were while I was having them, but later in life I would reflect on them and become very grateful for those lessons.

I assumed I was a “bad” kid because I didn’t follow the rules like other kids my age. It is easy to allow these thoughts into your mind, but extremely hard to get out once you’ve allowed them to set up shop. That goes for all negative thoughts you tell yourself. Leona explained to me that “There are no bad kids.” There are bad parents, bad environments, bad decisions, bad leaders, bad preachers, bad schools, and bad all kinds of stuff. No bad kids though.

To completely write off a child is a crap thing to do. To look at a kid and say you’re not worth fighting for is borderline evil. As humans we can do better. Some kids might say “Eff your kindness, I’m going to go rob someone”, but that doesn’t mean we stop trying for all the rest of them. My opinion of myself changed the night I had this conversation with her and thankfully I never forgot the lesson. Anyone that knows me can tell you that I will do anything to help a kid. That wasn’t natural instinct on my part, it was a piece of wisdom that Leona gave me. Her legacy will live on every time I don’t give up on a kid just because they or someone they know thinks they are “bad”.

It has been over 20 years since I’ve seen her although I did send X-Mas cards a few times. You never know what you can learn from a person if you don’t take the time to get to know them. If you want to be wise and a person of substance you must talk to people outside of your circle. I hope she knows just how much I respected her and that she changed my thought process in life for the better. I could not even begin to count the lives I’ve been able to improve using the philosophy Leona so graciously gave me. It took years for those comments to actually mean something to me, but once I understood what she meant the world around me changed.

It became much less about me and it caused me to understand that I could make a difference in the world one person at a time. It becomes addicting. To help. To see someone succeed when their whole world told them they couldn’t. I’ve already overcame so much in my own life. I know the formula. It isn’t a secret. One simply has to wake up and say “Not today MoFO” and then go out to the world with a smile that can’t be broken. I’m good. Now I concentrate on helping others see that for themselves. I have no number of lives changed except for this. As many as I possibly can. If my whole life goes by and I only help one person it will be worth it. That one person might change the lives of thousands because I helped him/her on their way.

You have no idea how many lives you change for the better. Or for the worse. Maybe Leona only affected my life, but I would say her legacy is a massive one. What will your legacy be??

No Bad Kids. I will always be in your debt Leona.

FknBucky

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15
Aug
23

Just Go

What’s up my friends?? I should probably name this “just write” as I’ve slacked hard the last year. A whole darn year. It is insane just how quickly time flys by without us noticing. Kids grow up. They become adults suddenly. They force us to realize how old we are. I still feel 23, but I’m not. Not even close. Some of you have known me for a very long time and probably have a couple FknBucky stories to share. Please don’t. My Mom reads this.

Live without regrets is something people like to say. Stupid people like to tattoo it on themselves and misspell it. Small piece of advice from me. Google everything you are about to tattoo on you. Trust no one. The Chinese symbols can not be trusted. They say it means Love and Strength! After 7 Bud Lights and 5 shots of Fireball why wouldn’t you want Love and Strength tattooed on the side of your neck?? Cause the symbol actually means “I love anal” which will make you really popular while visiting the Great Wall.

Just Go. There has to be a point. There is. The regrets I have are opportunities I failed to take advantage of. I admire Kobe Bryant in so many ways. I don’t even like basketball all that much, but Kobe and I were born in the same 48 hour period. I was in my freshman year of college, lost, a kid inside, but old enough to by smokes. Kobe was on the biggest stage in the world competing with the best. I would think about that at times and wonder what the heck I was doing with my life. Luckily my college friends would see me in deep thought and hand me a bag of mushrooms. I didn’t get to compete against Jordan, but….. Mushrooms are cool.

I lived in Cali for 11 years. I never drove up to LA and watched Kobe play. I regret that. My neighbor was a fighter pilot in the Navy and invited me to come use the flight simulator he trained on. I never went. Stupid. What a great story that would have been. I don’t dwell on these, but I do remember them simply so I don’t make the same mistake.

I saw a clip of Chappelle show a couple months ago. I thought I have to go see Dave live. I googled his schedule and he was going to be in West Virginia. A 5 hour drive each way, but I didn’t let that bog down my excitement. I bought the overpriced tickets. One for me and one for my nephew. I told myself the cost of the ticket was both combined so it was good in my head.

I need accessible seating. The tickets I bought were not accessible. No big deal as most times I call the venue and they swap me out with no issue. Not this time. I called and explained my situation to the guy on the phone. He said “Don’t come. We don’t have a seat for you.” So I turned around and went home. I was defeated. I wasted all that money on tickets with no chance to resell them and on top of it I couldn’t cancel the hotel room so I had to pay for that as well. A very expensive lesson.

Eff that. I hope no one believed any of that BS. Dude said “Don’t come.”

I replied “See you in five hours”.

I would have sat on someone’s lap before I didn’t go. I transferred into a seat in this old ass theater. I think Lincoln was shot there. I was stuck there and had to explain to 37 people why I refused to stand up and let them pass.

Dave came out and everyone went crazy!! He started out saying that he wouldn’t not talk about Tranny’s because he was already in trouble with the super fun “Always offended and pissed off crowd”. Seriously those types (I had to erase my previous three descriptors) really know how to party!! All I’m saying is they don’t have handfuls of mushrooms so….. To fill the time in his set previously dedicated to the Tranny’s he decided to make fun of paralyzed people. Like everyone else there I laughed. I am not a man in a wheelchair. I am not disabled. I’m FknBucky that uses a tool to get around that is called a wheelchair. Big difference. Disabled people can’t do stuff. There is not one damn thing I can’t do. Use that word on someone else.

I can forever say “I saw Dave Chappelle live.” That is a very cool sentence. I made the money back selling my crippled ass on a street corner. I mean it was Chappelle.

So go. To everything. Take a friend. Take a family member. Buy their ticket and forget about it. Have a large woman with the biggest boobs in the world crawl over you 3 times because you can’t stand up. There was a moment that I thought I was going to suffocate to death between 2 ginormous boobs at a Dave Chappell show. I mean if you got to pick the most perfect way to die that has to be top 3.

Just go. Just go. Just go. Tattoo that on your neck or better yet tattoo it on your brain. You can show it off to your friends by being the guy that is always up for an adventure and yells proudly “LET’S GO!!”

FknBucky

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The Podcast is coming. Your drive home will never be the same!!

21
Feb
23

Smiles are free

Been a minute my friends. I’ve started a few blogs but decided against publishing. There are times when I try to force something out, but I can see thru it and I imagine those of you that take the time to read my blogs (I truly love and thank all of you) will also notice. I respect you enough to not give you mediocre content. That being said if I made more time to blog, the ideas and inspirations are endless so it falls on me to write more. A couple weeks ago I had a couple kids come visit me here in North Carolina. I was honored that 18 year old young adults would take a 5 day vacation to come spend time with “Uncle Bucky” a role I always take seriously. I love getting to talk smack with them and sprinkle in some wisdom from time to time. My door is always open to just about anyone. If you are a thief don’t bother. I can’t stand people that steal. Ever.

While driving home from Myrtle Beach we got into some deeper conversations and I relayed a story to them. One I have not talked about in a long time, but even thinking of it now I get a bit water eyed. I may have blogged it a few years ago, buy I can’t remember. I was teaching therapists at the local hospital on how to use a specific piece of equipment. A co-worker from the home office in Florida flew up to train with me and we spent the entire day training group after group. We took about an hour for lunch and just went to the cafeteria. The line was long, but moving at a good pace. I like everyone love to people watch so while in line I’m scanning the room. There is a good chance I know someone in the room because I know just about everyone and almost everyone knows Bucky.

Not this time. I did notice a little girl that was about 8 years old eating lunch with her Mom. She was hooked up to multiple machines and was clearly sick with something severe. I hate seeing this, but it is reality. She locked eyes with Murphy and it was game over. I looked at my co-worker and told him “There are more important matters to deal with so just grab me whatever you order” and left my place in line. I took Murphy over to this young lady and asked if she wanted to say hello. If you have never seen “stuck in hospital connected to machine little girl smile while dog petting” you can’t understand how powerful that moment is. It is something you will never forget for the rest of your life. Remember life isn’t about you, it is about what YOU do for others.

Mom said thank you quietly, but I can read lips well enough to hear it. My friend came by with the sandwiches and we found a table about 20 feet away. My new friend still had her eyes locked on Murphy like a Bears quarterback to the Number 1 receiver. Everyone in the stadium knows where the ball is going. My crazy Bucky mind had an idea. I put my sandwich down and rolled back over to my new best friend. I told her I had a problem, and said “I am having a tough time because I can’t hold onto Murphy and eat my food. Would you mind holding her for a while so I can eat lunch?” Remember the smile I just told you about. I got one twice as big and right in front of me I watched this little person fill with happiness and life. She asked very wide eyed “Really??” As I watched her Mom start to cry. It was a very awesome moment in my life. I created it. I could have easily waited in line, ordered a sandwich I actually liked (my co-worker eats crap food), and went along with my life. Instead because I pay attention and cherish opportunities like this a few strangers had a much better day.

Like many other times I had a completely different idea for this blog, but felt like this story should be told. I don’t share so people can say “Bucky you’re so kind blah blah” because I don’t need that. I’ve said it before and will again, I promise you will never know how many things I do for others. My biggest hope to inspire others to do the same. There is a feeling you get when you are kind to strangers just because it is the right thing to do. It is addicting. Imagine a world addicted to that instead of crack, heroin, alcohol, sex, stealing, vaping, and all the other crap behavior we have as humans.

Be present and recognize the moment. Understand that giving someone a smile is more beneficial than handing them $20. $20 can be gone very quickly, but a smile and happy memory can last a lifetime. It can be passed on to others countless times creating more and more smiles. People you will never know could be smiling right now because of the smile chain you started. That is real power., we all have it inside of us, and it cost nothing to use.

I promise if you simply take a moment to look around there is someone near you that needs someone to say “I care”, “the world cares”, “you are not alone”, or something like “where you born that ugly or do you have to work at it??”. Crack jokes. Mess with people. One quick note and I’m done today. I took my out of town visitors to the indoor skydiving place here in Charlotte. I was busting balls the whole time cause that is what I do. The guys working there said “you’ve been here before”. It was 3 plus years ago, but yes I had been there before. He says I remember the sense of humor.

Be yourself and be memorable.

Love who you are today because tomorrow is not guaranteed.

FknBucky

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01
Feb
23

Drop Mind Pollution

Here we go. I’ve been tryin to make time to blog all last week, but somehow I kept finding excuses to do something else. It is hard to write when I’m tired. Seems odd, but my mind needs to be sharp and awake. Not the Red Bull kind of awake, but simply analyzing data with speed and ease. I’m sure this is why I have wit and comebacks when talking with others because my brain is working overtime to get the words in, analyzed, and then making my response flow out on time and with the right feeling. Words are only part of the equation. The tone of your voice, the face you make while saying those comebacks, the position your body is in (little harder to do in a wheelchair), the smile must be just right, and finally the eyes. They have to be soft and not threatening when hitting someone hard with words. Calling someone stupid is mean. Calling them stupid with soft eyes and a slight smile is funny. A lot going on in the three seconds someone tries to talk smack with me.

I love it though. The challenge. Everything in my life is a competition and I hate losing. Well, that isn’t true. I hate losing because I failed to bring my best. If I bring it all whether it is a fight, conversation, sales meeting, or anything I want to be victorious. Otherwise why are you there?? If you don’t see yourself standing in the first place spot at the end of the day why are you playing??? Who trains for 2nd place?? Funny answer. Most of you do. You have allowed others opinions to pollute your mind which then makes deals with you. Only try a little bit today. That way when you come up short it won’t be hurtful and no one will make fun of you. To that I want to say this “Fuck you and the mind polluters you hang around!!” I know Mom no swearing, but that point has to cut deep.

My nephew is at some training right now. He finished boot camp and now he is doing some additional training that will get his body in shape to go do the actual thing he is planning to do in the military. I’m being vague because it is none of your business what he is doing exactly, but this story requires you to know he is doing it. When he does it that means he is doing something that we are proud of cause he does that thing we know he is doing. Sorry I had Kamala help me with this paragraph. She won’t make it at FknBucky so back to something she won’t need intelligence for. Lighten up Francis.

I was talking to the nephew the other day and he was describing the training he was doing. A lot of everything with no sleep is what it boiled down to. He told me a whole bunch of kids have already quit. They started with 160 and by last count they only had 104. 56 people quit before the end of week 3. I don’t get it. Why did they even go?? I guarantee everyone of them in the back of their head heard the voice before day 1 saying “you won’t make it.:” I killed that voice a long time ago. He has unlimited lives like playing video games with my 8 year old niece. She makes sure I have 99 lives while playing the Simpsons with her. If I go below 90 lives it is an emergency that she fixes very quickly. Where was I?? Oh yeah. Quitter voice. It gets easier to kill him the more you do it. Pretty soon you can just Plan B that prick.

I’m proud of the nephew and hearing the intense crap they were putting him through made me have a deep respect for what he is going to accomplish. He asked what I have been doing and I replied truthfully without thinking “I made a cherry pie.” It isn’t often I wish for words back. I’m such a pansy these days…. He says “I just did a 7 mile hike with a 50 lb pack on.”

I respond with “ Lame, I made a pie. From scratch.” Can’t eat a hike with ice cream. Here is the deal. He rocked that hike. There is no chance he will quit. Zero. I tell him every time we talk “you don’t have to be first, but you better out work every other person there.” Never stop trying. I can’t hike. I can make a pie and it will be the best darn pie in Charlotte.

We all have dreams. Chase them. Go for it. Stop worrying about failure. It only exists if you allow it. I try and if it doesn’t work, I analyze why, and then try again. I gain knowledge every time so it isn’t a failure, but another step up closer to my goal. If you are going to California from Ohio and one day you make it 800 miles, but the next you only make it 50. Is that a failure or are you closer to your goal. Fix the way your mind uses information and kick to moron out that is crying you only made it 50 miles. They will sit down and wait for some other idiot to pick them up. Unfortunately the world is full of idiots. It is easy to be one. You don’t have to be one though. You read FknBucky that is like making it 2,000 miles a day.

Funny I had a blog in my head about mentors and heroes, but my heart decided to write a different message. I want to write forever. I want millions to find inspiration and hope in my message. I’m not there yet, but in my mind I have been there since I wrote the first sentence on the first blog. Somedays I make great progress and others I make very little, but the fight continues. Quitting will never be an option. If it was that means I never actually started.

Whatever you want start now. Right now. Sign up for the online class. Research starting your own business. Go volunteer. Mend a broken friendship. Most importantly stop listening to people and voices that say “you can’t.” They are wrong. They are scared to try. They are nothing to you. Just start and you will see how quickly all those negative influences become a sentence in a paragraph somewhere that eventually gets edited out.

Love who you are today. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

FknBucky

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14
Jan
23

We Are Not that Busy

Playoff football. Was supposed to be the Packers playing this evening in a fairytale, but real life is anything but. Happy endings are for Asian massages and Hollywood movies. Part of being an adult is learning that lesson over and over again until you accept that most times things just don’t go your way. I have learned this lesson the hard way, but lucky for me I’m a forever optimist. That doesn’t mean I have I have naive smile on my face 24/7, but it does mean I’m willing to give life another shot to be awesome every single day. It also means manifesting your own awesomeness to combat the forces around you trying to take your happy ending.

I travel a lot covering the Carolinas for my business. I enjoy it and when I’m on the road there is no quit at 5 PM. I mean I could, but that seems silly to me. Most people are gone during the day and get home around 5 PM so I usually make appointments with them in the late evening to do deliveries or evaluations. I am blessed to represent some amazing companies that make high end products making peoples lives easier and more fulfilling. I use some of these products, I love them, and I have the ability to talk with someone for 5 minutes while looking at their environment to tell them exactly what would help them the best. I know because I’ve done it all.

This last week was no different. I did an eval with a wonderful lady for the VA and then dropped a shower chair off with a Veteran and his spouse/caregiver at their home. The wife came out and helped me get the chair out of the back of my van and then we took it inside for some training. Of course Annabel made her presence known, but had to wait in the car for this delivery. The family had three little yappi dogs inside that make a lot of noise. I do the training and with the clock hitting about 7 pm I was ready to get to my hotel room for the night. The spouse follows me outside as it is clear she is lonely and it is nice to have someone to talk with. Her husband of 40 plus years has ALS and it is pretty far along. That disease is horrible. Just horrible.

I’m tired though. Annie got herself out of the van and of course had a frisbee in her mouth. My new friend is throwing the frisbee 5 ft and of course Annabel is happy to get it over and over and over and over…. I’m annoyed. I was thinking this was the 1-2 minute chat that lead to the goodbye, call me if you have questions, and have a nice night talk. The lady apologized for playing with Annie and I said “it’s okay” even though I didn’t mean it. My body language was all leave me alone. I’m watching her throw the frisbee and she had this incredible genuine smile. I stared at it and my life instantly changed. Thank goodness because I was on the wrong path. That smile fixed me even though I didn’t know I was broken. Truth is like many of you, I was very broken.

This lady, fellow human, and complete stranger needed me and Annie that night. Annabel was up to the task, but my dumb butt missed all the signs. The smile snapped me out of it. I thought to myself, “ What is your problem?? Let her play with Annie and have a moment.” My body language instantly changed. I was Bucky again. My smile became genuine as I gave her tips on how to throw it farther and to throw it away from Annie so she has to chase it down. She went from saying “I’m sorry” to “this is the best day I’ve had in a long time.” Think about that. My crabby butt almost stole this great moment from a very kind woman that simply needed a break from the monotonous daily routine she had fallen into. Caring for an ALS patient isn’t easy and I can only imagine how hard it is when that patient is your husband/loved one. At her age trying to lift a man out of bed, into his chair, onto toilets, shower chairs, and everything else takes a toll.

I watched her start laughing and having real fun. Annabel played her role perfectly like usual. I got on board, grabbed a water bottle, and put out a water bowl knowing this is where I am supposed to be for now. Out of everything that happened this last week, I’m most proud of this moment, the one I didn’t want. You don’t have to wear a cape to be a hero to someone. You can change the world in a few minutes by simply being more selfless with your time. You aren’t that busy. You aren’t that important unless you are a brain surgeon and your patient is about to die. If that is the case you should probably get going.

I share these moments to remind myself and hopefully get you to think differently when you’re out there in the world. Small moments can create big happiness. What more can you ask for?? Allowing a lonely person to play frisbee with Annie took no real effort on my part, but it did have an large impact on this woman’s life. That is a win.

Love Who You Are Today, Tomorrow Is Not Guaranteed.

I love you all and appreciate everyone that reads this. Your text messages, comments, and the rest mean so much to me. I put all of who I am in these blogs so it is nice to hear when people appreciate the messages, enjoy reading them, and then let me know. The best way to support is share the blogs, subscribe to have them emailed to you directly, and most importantly think about how you can make one moment a day better. Just one. Then watch your world begin to change.

FknBucky

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03
Jan
23

Perfectly Imperfect

Brand new year. Clean slate. What will you do differently this year??? Maybe 2023 is the year you actually stick to your resolutions. I have some big goals for this year and I’m very excited to chase them. My days are not unlimited and if I want to leave a positive mark on the world, I can’t be screwing around. I’m proud of the time I spend with young people and the lessons I’m able to teach them along the way. My niece is my latest victim, but she gives the right answer when I ask her how much “whiny voice” helped her get something done. She instantly replies “zero”. I’m old now. Not sure how 44 got here so fast. Not sure how 20+ years after that motorcycle accident got here, but here I am. I accepted my fate a long time ago while having a conversation with a mirror in Craig Hospital. It was just me and my reflection having the most powerful conversation of my life that no one else will ever understand.

Life is about accepting things that are so that you can be prepared to change the future. Read that one again. With all the wisdom I have acquired in my life, I still get reminded of that on a daily basis. I’m a student. Always. I want to learn everything, but there isn’t enough time. I wish I knew 20 languages. A hundred of them. I don’t. I barely speak English, I need to fix that, but I’m lazy in that department. Anyway lets not get bogged down there. If the opportunity is there, take the time to learn another language. I find teachers everywhere in life mostly because I’m willing to listen. I’m a great talker. One of the best in my opinion. I think before I speak and carefully use the words and phrases that will benefit me as the conversation goes forward. Sometimes I know what people will say because I led them there the whole time. I’m a conversation magician. That is enough insider info for you today.

What happens when I’m talking with a person that is 8 yrs old?? Complete chaos. I can’t predict what they will say. They haven’t been fully trained yet to fear change and still have the ability to say what they are thinking without fear of being canceled. I find it incredibly refreshing. Hmmm typing this out makes sense to me, and this is probably why I enjoy talking with kids. I can’t manipulate them or control the words they will say because they are still a true clean slate. Adults are like a chalkboard. You grab an eraser and move it back and forth until the original message is unreadable, but the chalk still remains. It never fully goes away meaning no matter how hard you try the past is always seeping into your present effecting the decisions you make concerning your future. Freedom is understanding that and overcoming it. To be free of your past mistakes takes work, but it is worth the trouble. Accept it. Learn the wisdom. Let it go.

I can’t stand half ass. To me don’t even start if you aren’t giving 110%. Perfection is what I strive for every time. That is why many blogs never get published. My name is on them. No chance I’m putting crap out there. My physical challenges are many these days. A few times a year I spend a Saturday with college kids learning to be Occupational Therapists. I do this because a friend of mine who I respect greatly asked me and I’m a sucker for having a conversation with 21 ladies & the token 1 guy about my favorite subject. ME. They work on me diagnosing the obvious things and a few I make up along the way. I have issues with my elbows and shoulders which sucks, but while going thru this process I was asked a question. Does your work suffer because it takes longer??? I was kind of offended by it and replied a very hard “NO”. I looked her in the eye and said “I don’t care how long it takes, I’m not “half assing” anything ever. Instant respect from the whole table. They knew I meant that. Tackle every task in your life with that philosophy and watch your life improve overnight.

Back to my teacher. I watched her learn to ride a hoverboard after getting one for Christmas. She got a little braver and more confident as time went on until BAM!!! Niece down. Insert tears. Fear. Anger. I yelled instantly “Get back on it”. I heard “No”, but that was an unacceptable answer. She did get back on and two minutes later the fall was history, but the lesson it taught was the present allowing her to not make that same mistake again. Accept it happened, but only hold on to the wisdom, let the fear and anger go. I’m a hard-ass yelling get back on it, but inside I’m an old softie. We went to the store and bought wrist, elbow, knee pads, and a helmet the next morning along with some paint and sand paper. We had to customize the pads to be cool otherwise they suck. Best way to make something cool to a kid, let them create it. Mind blown, I know.

She told me what she wanted and I traced it out with a sharpie so she could paint it. She sucks at painting. Got more paint on me than the pad. I showed her how to only dip the tip of the brush in paint and then slowly trace the lines I made to make it look great. I asked if she understood, she said “yes”, and then I handed her the paint brush. She immediately dipped that sucker into paint up to her elbow and in record time of 2 seconds completely traced my lines in the worst way possible. My inside voice was screaming “WTF!!!” I looked at her and saw a face of pride. She loved it and was all smiles. She had sanded this knee pad down, picked out the design, and then did it. I had to remind myself she is 8, this isn’t the Mona Lisa, and most importantly it made her happy. It was so imperfect that it became perfect. JUST LIKE THE PERSON YOU ARE.

I decided to dip my brush into paint up to my elbow and join the fun. It was freedom to paint outside of the lines and LOVE the way it looked. I had just learned a massive life lesson from an eight year old girl that sucks at painting.

Happy New Year!

I can’t stress enough how much I appreciate everyone that reads these blogs and truly hope that some of my rantings will help ignite a fire in you to chase your dreams. I don’t want to arrive alone at the finish line, I want to bring everyone I interact with with me. Use your clean slate to accept that you’re Perfectly Imperfect.

Please share the blog. Maybe you didn’t need this message today, but a family member might. A co-worker struggling with their confidence might read this and begin thinking I can do it. Instead of posting a “I hate Trump or I hate Biden” meme today, share a positive message that just might change a life.

FknBucky

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25
Dec
22

Decide to Take a chance

Crazy. Simply crazy on how fast time goes by. It was so slow as a kid, but now I seem to blink and I’m ten years older. I’m sure I’ve told this story before, but it is a great lesson that I hope will motivate a few of you to take some chances. I was talking with my Grandfather one time when I was about 16ish. He had just turned 80 or was about to. He said “I feel like one moment I was 20 years old, then I blinked and I’m 80 years old now. The tone in his voice and look in his eyes told me this was no joke. He simply told me that life is over before you know it. In my mind I thought, I’m not wasting anymore time.

By taking chances I don’t mean put $500 on black at the casino although I have done that. I was on a roulette table in Vegas one night when the number came up black say 8 times in a row which gets posted on the sign. When that happens tons of people start throwing money on red. This time was no different. There was easily $5,000 or so put down on red when this random guy came up and threw $500 on Black. That lone chip on the black with stacks of chips on Red. I looked at the guy and said “that is ballsy!! I said lets play and put $500 up on black with this lone guy. We won. Black 22 which is one of the numbers I bet. That and Red 5. That was cool moment in life.

Life is short so don’t waste time on dumb stuff. It is Christmas. I’m surrounded by family in Alabama and I love it. I truly hope all of you are as well. If you’re not then you should make better plans for next year. When I talk about chances I mean important things. Go back to school and get a degree. Ask the girl out you’ve had a crush on for the last 10 years. Get drunk and text every girlfriend you’ve had since the 3rd grade. Trust me they are waiting by the phone at 3 AM to get that text. This is not an advice column. Apply for a job you want. Move to a new place and get a fresh start. You may need to change your name if your drunk text look like mine…..

That talk with my Grandpa really resonated with me. I decided that I would not waste time on things that I can’t control. I moved to Colorado without ever being there before. I’ve had lots of jobs in my life which I’m proud of. It has helped me learn new things that I never even dreamed about. I’ve moved multiple times as well. I went to San Diego by myself one year after being paralyzed. Ahhh, That stupid accident. I screwed up and pay for it every day of my life. Sucks, but I’m not going to let it determine my value as a human. No way.

When I got to San Diego I worked out at a gym called Project Walk. It was a “rehab” for spinal cord patients. I wanted to walk so badly. I pray you never know how hard this is. I am the strongest human alive. No doubt in my mind on that. The gym had other people in chairs so I made some friends pretty quickly as that is what I do. 3 or 4 days of being in Cali, I was invited to a house party for another project walk guy. I was going in blind. I got the address for the party and wondered what I should do. I looked in the mirror and asked a question that I’ve asked myself thousands of times in the last 20 years. “What would walking Bucky do??”

The answer was clear. Go to the party, be myself, rock the place so anyone that didn’t know me at the start of the night would remember FknBucky forever. That is exactly what I did. You have to manifest your own great moments. No one is going to show up do it for you. Life doesn’t work that way. Muscles are good, but a strong mind is what will enable you to be great. Read the books, learn to listen and think before speaking, and make friends with people that have what you want to be. You want to smoke meth, go make friends with people that smoke meth. You want to make more money, go make friends with meth heads. Ha. Don’t do meth.

Your life is a result of all the decisions you’ve made in life. You can make all kinds of excuses, but that is what it is. If you want your life to change, you simply have to make different decisions. It is that simple. Eat less candy, go to the gym, get a library card, find a successful business owner and buy them lunch, go to work early & stay late, and on and on and on.

Merry Christmas my friends.

Love Who You Are Today, Tomorrow is Not Guaranteed.

FknBucky

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19
Dec
22

Never Forgotten

Good Morning friends. I have had something on my mind for months and have thought about what to say over and over again. It is impossible. There are no right words to write. They haven’t been invented yet and never will be. Tragedy, sad, unfair, and all the others you want to throw around are crap. Juvenile worthless letters together that mean nothing. Words are the first level and sometimes useful. Action is the only language I truly respect. You can tell me how smart and great you are, but I have 44 years of reading the way people talk without words and I’m pretty darn good at it.

Lets get to it. My friend Ryan Cooper. I think about him every single day. I wish I could take his place. He was far too kind and good to have someone steal the most precious thing in the world from him. His life. His dreams. His children. His legacy. Taken like a common thief steals a flipping candy bar. I have to be careful because of the anger it brings out of me. A year and a half later the anger combines with sadness that no one has been brought to justice for this outrageous act. They might not ever pay for this in this lifetime, but I believe we have to answer for our actions in another world someday. There is no explaining this. It is pure evil and I take comfort knowing someone sees the devil every time they close their eyes. He will come for you. I promise.

Some debts never go away. They just keep growing taking more and more from the person responsible for paying it. You don’t escape punishment for a crime like this. Prison is probably too easy. I hope you suffer every moment of every day in your miserable crap life that will forever be tarnished by this heinous act you committed on someone so kind and special. You murdered an angel you POS. That will never be forgotten or forgiven. You will experience Hell on Earth and when you finally die, you will learn what the real Hell is like. I might join you just so I can witness the horror you experience for eternity.

I started writing this at 4 AM because I can’t sleep. I think about this a lot. I have written over ten blogs on this horrible topic, but never finish them. The words simply fail my feelings and I stop. Not this time. He deserves better from me. He deserves better from all of you. He deserves better from law enforcement. I mean every word of this blog. I know there are a lot of upset people that miss him dearly. My heart breaks for his children that were robbed of a father, a mentor, a friend, and I want to remind the world that the Busch Light Brotherhood has not forgotten. I used that term to describe the bond the people from small town Iowa create growing up together. It is special and the only way to join is to earn it.

Our lives are entangled for life. Our Grandparents knew each other. Our Parents grew up creating this bond between them. Now it is 2022 and we carry this torch while teaching our children to respect each other. They watch us to learn how to create their bonds that will stay with them for life. It has a very long term effect when children lose a parent, mentor, and protector. I can not even to begin to understand the pain caused by this weak pathetic POS. I made a choice I would not swear in my blogs moving forward, but if there was ever a time for some choice words, this would be it.

Please make sure everyone you know remembers his name.

I know many of you that read my words also knew and loved Ryan. I know you will not forget. He deserves better than my mediocre words. I wish I could do more. This Holiday Season should not be a sad one though. Ryan was one of the kindest humans I have ever known. I believe he would want all of us to smile, drink a few Busch Lights, and remember him as he was. I remind myself to not let my memories of him center around the tragic and evil way he was stolen from us.

Hug your loved ones just a little bit longer. Take time to smile and enjoy the company this time of year.

Love Who You Are Today, Tomorrow is Not Guaranteed.

FknBucky

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11
Dec
22

Checking Boxes

Good morning friends. Crazy week in the world. I wrote a blog about the prisoner exchange, but don’t feel like posting it. I have an opinion about it, but so does everyone else. I will simply say a couple of things and feel free to disagree. Sharing ideas and opinions is how the world gets better if you can be patient enough to listen to people and not shout them down. Your value as an American citizen should never be measured in how many boxes you check. I find that to be disgusting and it is simply one side deciding what is most beneficial to get votes. One more thing. The gun control crowd lost. You can’t tell law abiding citizens they can’t have a gun, but let a man called “The Merchant of Death” out of prison. It is estimated he is responsible for putting weapons in the hands of really bad people who used those weapons to kill hundreds of thousands of people. No no no Bucky, you got it wrong. We traded him for a gay, black, woman that we can use to solicit votes in 2024.

Okay. I’m done with that, but it does help me bring up a much brighter topic. How Bucky?? I’m getting to that. You should know by now I don’t reveal the reason for the blog until the 3rd paragraph. I framed my nieces art work the other day and it is my new favorite art on my wall. People spend $300,000 for a hand carved Italian marble alligator penis for their wall. For the record you are still a D-Bag, but now you are a D-Bag with a 300k alligator penis on your greeting room wall. Sometimes I hate other humans. Actually, most times I hate other humans, but not you. You’re cool because you read FknBucky. You’re cooler if you share the message.

I woke up and had the urge to hear a song I love. It is called “Things I’ve Seen” by the Spooks. The first time I heard it, I thought this is the soundtrack to my life. .I started to post it on FB, but thought I should expand a bit and make it a blog. Now we are here. I took a screenshot of the post I almost posted. I want to express that you should stop waiting to check off things from your bucket list. You should actively be thinking of different adventures you want to have in the next 3 months, 6 months, or in a year. Write those things down and put it where you see it everyday. Write it on your bathroom mirror. Write it on a post it note and put that up on your turned off TV so when you reach for the remote you will see your list, and work on that instead of watching the season finale of Keeping up with Kim’s big butt for the third time.

If you don’t have goals then you have nothing to reach for. That is sad. No goals means you don’t read books, take classes, work out, and pretty much just exist. What is it you do everyday that will make your life different in 6 months, a year, or in a decade from now. Take a look around you, go look in the mirror, and check your bank account. If you are 100% happy with what you see stop reading this blog and pat yourself on the back. You’re done, but if you want a more fulfilling life read on. Learn how to set goals and then start reaching them. Make small ones at first so you can begin to feel the pride of reaching a goal. Skip eating ice cream for a week. JUST KIDDDING. Never skip ice cream. That is a stupid idea. I eff’ing love ice cream.

Set things that are attainable and will help you become a better human. Tell yourself no road rage for this work week. Just let the car merge, don’t chase the guy who cut you off, and forgive the guy doing 60 in the left lane. It isn’t his fault, he is driving his alligator penis home and after spending 300K on something so stupid, it is a given that he drives slow in the passing lane. FYI – It is not a fast lane. It is a passing lane. If you ain’t passing, get out the left lane. Okay I got sidetracked again.

Learn to meditate. Learn to listen to yourself and ask what experiences do you want to have before you die?? Put everything down. Make goals for the day, week, month, year, and beyond. Appreciate the feeling of accomplishment you get when you start checking off boxes on your list. Told you I could tie it all in. If you want a better more fulfilling life you simply have to make yourself better. Read books on things important to you. Thousands of successful humans have written books about how they did it, and you’ve never read even one of them. You want a Kim K lifestyle, but put in ZERO effort to achieve it. No person is going to show up with a bag of money for you because you sat around a fire pit drinking Busch Light for the last 5 years. If they did, Traer, Iowa would be the richest town in America.

Here is the formula for success: Set goals, hate Russia, always read FknBucky, and share Bucky’s blog with everyone you know. I have FknBucky stickers now, and yesterday I got my first car. Proud moment to see my blog on someone’s car.

Remember to Love Who You Are Today, Tomorrow is Not Guaranteed.

FknBucky

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05
Dec
22

I want my gift now!!

Content. Gotta keep up the content. I heard a quote yesterday that really hit me from multiple angles and if I can keep my “shiny” in check I will talk about this quote. Quick note though as I was watching Thursday Night Football and listened to the MassHole crowd booing the home team. Seriously??? You have been on a winning streak never before seen in Pro Football, but you boo the team responsible for many a great night the second something doesn’t go your way. Losing makes winning taste so much better. The feeling of accomplishment that comes after trying and failing over and over and over is very special. You can only earn it. Can’t buy it, steal it, or beg for it. You simply have to put yourself out there every day with a huge middle finger to anyone that says “You can’t do that!”

We set ourselves up for losing before the game even starts. It is crazy to me how often I hear people complain about something they haven’t even started. How do you know it sucks if you haven’t done it??? Okay, I’m pretty sure prison sex is not fun for the new guy so that would be an exception to the knowing it sucks without trying category. The mindset before the fight is as important as the battle itself. I’m not smart enough, I don’t have lots of money, I’m out of shape, I’m disabled (I eff’ing hate that word FYI) I’m a girl, I’m gay, or any of the excuses you allow yourself to have. YOU give these BS excuses to yourself which is stupid and unnecessary, but it is cool because that means you can drop that crap off right now. None of those will aid you in reaching your goals/dreams so why in the heck do you drag them along your life path.

Now that you’ve unloaded all the needless baggage you find yourself in neutral. Just walking along the line in middle land. Middle land also sucks. It is boring and you’re better than that. You need to get your mind into the Nothing can stop me, if you’re not smart – read books and get smart, if you are ugly, hang out with uglier people so you become the hot one, you have no money – learn to save money and stop spending half your paycheck on beer and weed. Here comes biggie so read slow and pay attention. Take that stupid dumb-butt chip off your shoulder. Stop crying about race, sexuality, gender, and all the other crap that simply holds you down. You want to carry that excuse with you fine, but I’m not waiting for you. Those things can only hurt you if you allow it.

The quote I heard is this “Pain is a Gift” which blew my mind. Pain sucks. I don’t want pain. A gift from Satan maybe. What kind of moron thinks pain is a gift?? This moron. I thought about writing these points in crayon so you could understand it better. How awesome would it be going into battle with a smile on your face thinking I’m ready for you. I’ve been overcoming crap my whole life and you “Mr Problem” can’t do a darn thing because I’m prepared. What comes from hardships?? What do we really end up with when it is over?? I’ll tell you. Wisdom. Strength. Self Confidence. Experience. Yeah those things are pretty cool.

Here you are. The only warrior in your own personal army. There is no back up. Can’t radio for an air strike. Faster you realize it is on you to handle it, the sooner you overcome it and move on. Imagine running towards the hardship. I accept I can’t go around you so now I’m going to fight. Don’t wait. Pick up a stick and sprint towards it with an enormous smile because you know when this is over you’ll be a better, stronger, more valuable human. I’ll take two of those if you can buy this at CVS. Never happen, you like everyone before you and like everyone after you has to earn those things.

Pain is a gift. An opportunity to test your skills and strengths. I know in reality these are just words and facing pain in the real world sucks. A failed relationship, fired from a job, losing a hand, becoming paralyzed, losing a loved one, or any other situation that is sure to cause hardships. When you start with a deep breath and say “I can do this” you start out ahead instead of telling yourself “Oh man, this sucks, it will be so hard, no one will help me, I can’t cope with this, I’ll just ignore it for a few weeks, or any other excuse you let yourself use.

The world needs warriors. I am one. I’m not perfect. FAR FAR from it, but I fear no challenge or hardship. I have practiced my whole life for game day. I’ve accepted the wisdom one gets from failing. I own my mistakes. You can’t learn a valuable lesson if you refuse to admit you screwed up.

As Always: Love Who You Are Today, Tomorrow is not Guaranteed!!

Please share my message if you enjoy it. Rate it 5 stars and please makes comments below. All that helps drive traffic to my blog and allows many more people to benefit from my rants…. I appreciate you all very much.

FknBucky

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