Posts Tagged ‘Satan

18
May
25

GOD’S IN CHARGE

Go back and read Ice Cream Satan first. If you dare….

Been a few days. The whole parking thing really got to me. I don’t expect most of you to truly understand, but it becomes psychological warfare at times over those damn blue man spots. I’ve spent $1,500 in fines a towing fees since moving to Charlotte for parking in handicap spots and forgetting to put up a placard, having to swap my plate, or whatever other reason. Once my placard was only sitting on my dash, it snowed (usually happens 1 time a year here), covered the bottom of my windshield, and my car was towed costing me $300. The placard was clearly visible when I went to pick up the car because the snow had blown off the windshield during the drive.

I let it go yesterday and decided to move on. I gave those greedy pricks $180 of my hard earned money and closed the chapter on hating tow people. Not the book because I’m confident no matter how hard I try to never have an issue, I will slip up and they will be there to nail my ass to the cross. Never fails. In order to ensure I don’t get booted again I had to fast track my parking placards which meant I had to drive to my doctors office and wait for 2 hours for her to sign a form. The only way she would sign it is if I promised to come back the next day for an official visit. So stupid, I agreed.

I went back Friday morning for the appointment. The first question was “What brought me in to see the doctor?” Sometimes I want to punch the world. After this intellectually exhausting talk I took Annie to a patch of grass we always play on when I go to this office. The last few years have had me at the doctor office a lot as some of you know. After playing for a bit I of course had to pick up after Annie which I always try to do, but someone else isn’t so great at picking up after their dog. I rolled thru their poo to pick up Annie’s poo. I truly don’t understand the universe sometimes and yes there is a bigger point to all this so hold on and be amazed.

A friend of mine that has a non-profit asked if I would speak at his fundraiser Friday night about volunteering and staying positive. Perfect timing right. I gave the talk, but forgot to turn the sound on so the FB live video was pointless although it did show me that all my dieting has been paying off. I’m clearly MUCH lighter in that video. In fact I was amazed by it. So much so that today when ordering groceries I ordered Ice Cream. I thought Eff this week, I deserve it, and got my two favorite flavors. Bryers Mint Chip and BJ – Half Baked. Both are delicious and I haven’t had sugar since Easter so why not cheat a bit.

Well God has a different plan. Say what you will, but there is real purpose going on here. I’m meant to do this darn pull up and learn from all this hardship. Maybe I’m being tested to get thru problems without grabbing a crutch. I hit submit on the order and then dozed off in my recliner while watching tv. I woke up to Annie barking at the door. Ugh I thought. I had to wake up from nap time and get the groceries inside. Can’t let the ice cream melt..

I brought all the bags in and thought “Hmmm where is the ice cream.” There was none. Both flavors I asked for were out of stock and the delivery company refunded my money instead of getting a replacement. I’m in awe of the situation actually. It never happens this way. All the fruit, veggies, chicken, and healthy crap I ordered came thru just fine. Only the sugar was canceled by Big Bang Theory. I took a screenshot of my phone once I double checked what happened.

I will end with this. Humanity failed me this week. I was let down by people I care about, people I don’t like very much, and people I’ll never meet. The common theme is people. They pushed me to a breaking point and I’m not proud of that, but it is reality. I also know I’m not alone and that all of you have been there and will be again someday. I say this to myself and you. God is in control. He has a plan. I will reach this goal and the others I’ve set for myself. When I am doing the pull up it will be because God’s hand is lifting me.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

30
Apr
25

Ice Cream Satan

Ice cream. I love it. So much. Ben and Jerry’s half baked. Phish food. Hagen Daaz. Bryers Mint chip. Give me some more. I have had the largest cravings for the last couple hours and kept thinking “You’ve been doing so good lately, you deserve a reward…”. Nobody will fault you if you just have a little bite to give you a quick boost…. I say to that “BULLSTUFF!”

I made a goal to do a pull up. I’m going to do that damn pull up even if it kills me. I’d rather die trying to reach that goal than live with a belly full of Caramel Cone.. Okay that is lie. Caramel Cone is eff’ing delicious, but not today Ice Cream Satan.

This is a short blog because I have to run to the store and buy ice cream. Just kidding I don’t run anywhere dummy. Look I’ve made a promise to myself a few months back and I’m not going to let myself down. No one but me would know if I cheated, but I’m the only one that matters in this equation.

The point of this short memo is to let all of you know that I’m out here suffering as well. A good kind of suffer. When I wake up tomorrow I’ll know I powered thru the craving, I’m still firmly on the path to glory, and that will give me the confidence to do another day. You can do whatever it is. Don’t let that stupid ice cream satan voice in your head talk you into deviating from the journey. Success is waiting for you and I to show up. 🙂

There is power in numbers. Comment if you’re with me.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

20
Feb
24

Justice?

I got a text about Noon telling me that Karina was in custody for the murder of Ryan Cooper. I’m a Traer boy at heart and honestly writing that sentence made me cry. I’m not afraid to admit that. There are a massive amount of emotions going on right now, but the hope is with someone being held accountable and with time people may start healing. Reality is these types of wounds never actually heal. Time goes by and people start to move on to other topics, but we’ll never forget or be whole again. A part of us was taken that can’t regrow or be replaced. The hurt will never fully go away even as time goes by and we start to talk about the price of beans, the road construction on D65, or the prick up the road that keeps tearing up the dirt road.

Truth is as much as I prayed that justice would come in this case, I realized today it doesn’t change the pain or make sense of this BS. We were all robbed of an amazing friend, brother, son, father, and the world was better and happier with Ryan a part of it. He will never be forgotten. That is a fact. He is still here with us thru the children he was taken from. I pray everyone remembers they are the ultimate victims in all of this. Please talk with your kids about how crazy this situation is and make sure they understand how their words can help or hurt so choose them very wisely. I can’t imagine dealing with the nightmare they’ve been given at NO FAULT of their own. Life is not fair on levels I didn’t realize were possible.

I’ve had a good number of friends reach out to me and all of them say the same thing. The hurt is like this just happened yesterday. I meant the words I wrote 2.5 years ago the brotherhood one becomes a member of living in a small town. The Busch Light brotherhood I called it. Membership can’t be bought, it can only be earned. It is lifetime membership with annual dues being make sure you have a big cooler of beer ready to go once the work is done.

My thoughts and prayers are with his family. I know they will most likely read this and I hope they understand how much Ryan touched my life, he was loved, and appreciated by many others. I spoke with another friend today who was asked to testify this morning about Ryan. She told me that she said “You can ask anyone in Traer or anyone that knew Ryan, there isn’t a person on Earth that had issues with him. There was no fighting, no running of the mouth, and simply just a great man that could be relied on no matter what it was he agreed to do. I have met thousands of people in my life. NOT one can be compared to Coop.

I don’t know what will happen in court. I do say let the rule of law take its course. This event only proves once again that evil exists in the world. I don’t know why. Heaven or Hell, Good or Bad, God or Satan, BIg Bang Theory and not Big Bang Theory. Whatever you believe doesn’t change the fact that evil is around us everyday. Some people get very good at hiding it. There is no reasoning, no explanations to be had, and simply the hard truth tells us that it is real.

Ryan didn’t deserve this evil done to him and we all know that. His kids should have their father still. It makes me beyond angry to think of how unfair this is. He should be old and gray watching grandkids open Christmas presents. I can see him in his den surrounded by toy tractors on the wall, some deer mounts from successful hunts, and of course a 1:8 scale cattle hauler that cost as much as his first car on display that everyone knows isn’t for playing with. Well not until Grandpa had his special drinks and ends up on the floor playing farm with the young ones.

I am surprised at how fresh these feelings of hurt are. We appreciate the small town for many things. Knowing people your whole life, your kids and their kids go to school together, and eventually your grandkids and their grandkids go to school together. There is a feeling of safety in a small town and it brings comfort to us knowing everyone. The downside is when something really really tragic happens it affects everyone. This is that. This hurts everyone. I believe the police have done their job and done it well. They didn’t cave to people screaming we want justice now, but slowly built up a solid case against Karina. She is innocent until proven guilty, but I will not be donating to her defense fund.

I say this to my Busch Light brothers and sisters. Please don’t let your anger and hatred dim the shining light Ryan brought to us all. His memory should not be tainted by this evil human that abused his love, manipulated his trust, and stole a father from his children. I will choose to remember him flipping me off from the cab of that cattle hauler. Twice he got me. The snapchats he sent telling me he smelled like money when I said he was covered in shit. He deserves that. For all of us to remember him for who he was and not for how he was taken away.

Give hugs to people you love and then tell them “I love you.”

I don’t know what else to say. I just have a lot of emotions and writing is how I deal with things I can’t process yet. I know I’m not alone in that.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE




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