Posts Tagged ‘strength

05
May
25

No Twix for the win

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Monday morning. Welcome back to reality. Hopefully the hangover isn’t too strong today and if it is, I hope it was well worth it. I’ve had plenty of hard Monday mornings back in the day and yeah they were worth it. Ha. I’m waking up in a hotel this AM and decided to write a blog instead of working out. Is that the best use of your time Bucky? Great question and normally I would say NO, but today there is a message I want to share ASAP.

I’ve been blogging about my journey to do a pull up. To achieve this goal I have to lose weight and get stronger at the same time. Only way to get there is to make better choices and some real sacrifices in my daily life. Very easy to say, extremely hard to start implementing, and dang the world is stacked against making these changes. I spent time with family last night telling stories and explaining to all of them for the 17,394th time about why I’m the most awesome human ever to live. I can assure you they never get tired of hearing about how great I am….

I kept this goal of mine a secret to the world for the first few months and only recently decided to share it with all of you. It is scary to open up in such a way and expose myself to a level of criticism that isn’t necessary, but I’ve found it to be a useful tool. Holding ourselves accountable can and will make you a better person forcing you to stay on task even when nobody is watching. How Bucky?? Stop asking so many questions and just pay attention.

I read my blogs over and over after I write them. Many times wondering what kind of an idiot actually reads this, but then I look in the mirror and say “Oh yeah”. I understand there are millions of people just like me that want to be better, work at it, and yet still struggle because the world fights us every step of the way. I cut out the candy again after Easter with a renewed vigor to reach my goal and have been solid. In a blog the other day I talked about Ice Cream and its powerful grip on my brain. I freaking love that stuff, but it isn’t helpful right now so it has to take a back seat.

When I stay in hotels I’m used to getting a snack from the gift shop by the check in counter. I’m a titanium member of Marriott and that means they love my fat ass. While they make my keys I roll into candy land and ask if I can grab something, and 99.99% of the time they say take whatever you want. Ha. It isn’t stealing because you get a free gift at check in, but I like to do it stealthily so I feel dangerous. An hour before last nights check-in I was telling my Mom, sister, and nephew about how great I’m doing and how diet is really the key to everything. By the incredible looks on their faces I could tell they heard blah BLAh blah blah blah blah, blah, blah, and blah blah.

Me and my big mouth. I stole a Twix. I knew better, but there it was all free and free. I could have taken a free nothing, but nope I wanted that Twix. I put it in my pocket, thanked Eli (front desk guy), and rolled my happy hypocrite ass down the hallway to my room. I planned to unwrap that chocolate, caramel coated cookie and bask in its sugary yumminess, but……. This darn blog. I read Ice Cream Satan and the line of “nobody will know, but I will” stuck out to me. If I ate that Twix, I would know. Sounds stupid, but it is true. What is more important to my life???

Was I prepared to give up my goal for a stupid candy bar?? Just throw in the towel and be done with it all?? Of course I was and that was the best Twix I ever had!!! ha. Just kidding. I didn’t eat the freaking thing. I’m proud of myself this morning and I know I have a new future ahead of me that involves a pull up. Now you understand why this blog is more important than a work out. I will go back and read this when I need a reminder because I will need one. I’ll probably need to be reminded before lunch today, but the point is I’ll seek it out and stay on target. I didn’t quit after I got paralyzed and I’m not going to quit now. Neither should you.

I want to stress this last point. I’m just a guy that has made every wrong decision a person can make. I had to learn the hard way over and over and over again. I know I am special, but so are you. I simply refuse to give up and will try and try and try until the final curtain call. Right now the biggest try is to try and NOT eat this darn Twix. 🙂

FknBucky

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06
Mar
25

Strength

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Strength. Great word and it has a million different meanings. A person can have strength in their mind, in their muscles, in their stature, in their character, and on and on and on. Other people respect strength most of the time, but they can also fear it. Sometimes that fear turns into jealousy and becomes ugly, but I don’t want to go down that path today. Instead I want to shine a light on some wonderful friends of mine that should have their picture next to the word strength in the dictionary.

When you first see them you might say “that is too much”. There was a time in my life when I would have agreed with you, but that is no longer the case with me. Now I’m in awe of these wonderful people and I want to explain why I bring it up today. I’ve mentioned the last couple weeks about my new journey of health and fitness. I will say any real trip worth taking is never taken alone. You need to have others with you, either physically or mentally and I think about these friends and the incredible sacrifices they make DAILY to achieve their goals to help me reach mine.

Well who the heck are they Bucky?? Well we are in the third paragraph so I’ll do the big reveal. My friend Garrett and his amazing GF Mina. They are bodybuilders and great ones at that. I’ve known Garrett for almost 10 years now and have personally seen his transformation bit by bit. The man is a BEAST and I could not be any prouder of him. I have seen the commitment he has to get into this type of shape and you say it is too much because you lack the strength to do it.

Anyone can lift a weight. It is easy. Me lift heavy thing – said in dumb voice. That has so little to do with the actual journey these incredible people take. The mental strength to not eat crap food every day for MONTHS in order to reach their level is insane. You can’t go 3 hours without eating some potato chips or 2 days without a bowl of ice cream. I used to poke fun of gym rats because I’m an idiot, but now that I’ve had to put the work in and lose weight by changing my lifestyle I’m blown away by these unbelievable humans that deserve all of our respect.

I was on life support in May of 2024. I was dead and somehow didn’t stay that way, but I was also 270 lbs, paralyzed, had a rotten kidney inside of me, and most of all angry. My situation sucked and it wasn’t fair, but it was reality. No amount of crying was going to change it. I had a therapist named Dana that is also a bodybuilder. I put her in touch with my other friends and now they are planning to take over the world together. Okay maybe not the entire world, but in that process I’ve started to see her journey on IG as well. She works full time, is about to get married so don’t get your hopes up boys, and still finds the time to kick some ass on the stage. All I have to do is stop eating candy for a few months to reach my first goal.

These three individuals are overflowing with strength, so much that they can give me some thru their IG page. Imagine that. Garrett takes the time to work out with me anytime I ask. Mina lets me makes jokes about her name all the time. Dana is just stupid hot. Every little bit helps… As you spend your days crying about Trump this or Biden that, chasing every new fad diet, or driving by the gym on your way to COOK OUT these real workout gangstas are out there getting shit done. Pay attention to the world and read, but don’t get so wrapped up in the BS you forget to live. Stop letting the TV or pansies dictate what you can be or do. Be OBLIGATED and not motivated.

I want as many of you as possible to come with me on this journey of health and happiness. It is no fun to show up alone. I want an army. Find people in your community already getting after it and study them. Imitate them. Become them. And most importantly…. Respect them. They have earned it.

FknBucky

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P.S. I purposely left their IG names on the tops of the photos. They gave me permission to use their names in this blog. Follow them. Learn from them. Respect them. These 3 people have helped me more than they know and truthfully this blog is my way of saying thank you to them.

08
Sep
24

Thank you

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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I have a dozen blogs in my head right now, but this one is way overdue. I grew up in rural Iowa, driving around on gravel roads, drinking beer on random bridges, and raising hell anyway I could without fear of punishments. I somehow understood the razor edge and spent a lot of time on it loving the adrenaline that came with being a bad boy without actually being a bad human. I always worked, never stole anything from anyone, and simply liked drinking Busch lights a long time before I was 21. This habit drew me a lot of attention from Johnny Law and let me tell you (Trump voice), I got a lot of attention from this guy, like way more than anyone else….

I hated cops. They took my beer away. I paid for that I would say. Jerks. I’d yell “We are just trying to have some fun, we aren’t hurting anyone, go solve a crime you not nice guys.” Ha. I’m sure you can think of the words that I actually would use. I won’t give the actual number possessions under the legal age I had while living in Iowa, but I will say it was more than 5 and less than 2,003. I’m over 21 now, just barely.., so I don’t have to worry about the police taking my beer away anymore.

Today is a thank you. A long overdue thank you. I’m thanking my former enemy. The Tama County (Iowa) Sheriffs department. For those of you that may not know a friend of mine, Ryan Cooper, was murdered in Traer, Iowa on June 18th, 2021. It was vicious, it was evil, it was the most cold blooded act I’ve ever seen in life, and it took over 2 years for an arrest to be made. His wife and her lover are now in a cage awaiting trial and will be found guilty of this horrid, pathetic, and cowardly act. Why would you thank them if it took over two years Bucky?? I’m going to tell you right now.

I was at the funeral. It was incredibly hard. I saw friends I haven’t seen in 20 years, we gave the awkward smile of hello, good to see you, but no joyous moment because the reason we were together still hadn’t set it yet. I saw Dennis Kucera the Sheriff of Tama County. He didn’t smile at all. He was in uniform. He was working. This is a small town. We all know each other and have history. His son and the Ryan were very close friends and I can’t imagine the strength it took to stand there on that day. I can’t imagine the drive to work everyday passing friends and neighbors who keep asking the same question “Why can’t you make an arrest??” I can’t imagine passing the house it happened in and then passing the house the murderer was now living in with her children on the way to work every single day.

Dennis had to keep it professional. He couldn’t explain all the work going on, all the red tape, all the waiting for transcripts and text messages, and how they had to wait to make sure the case was air tight to hopefully keep the guilty in prison forever. Many of us wondered who did it and came to the same conclusion over and over. There simply wasn’t anyone else it could be, but yet it took SO LONG to get an arrest. It was frustrating for us, but I can’t imagine being the man responsible for catching the killer of the man who was in his son’s wedding.

I don’t mention people by name in my blog often, but today is special. I want to thank Dennis Kucera and the Tama County Sheriff department for not giving up, for keeping it professional, and for arresting the monsters that stole our brother. #BuschLightBrotherhood

The trial will come, they will be found guilty, and then spend the rest of their lives in prison. No joy from any of it. A senseless crime that stole a loving father from his children and will take their mother away as well. They are the ultimate victims and my heart breaks for them. I ask that everyone remembers Ryan how he was in life and not the evil way he was taken from us. His smile, his eagerness to help a friend, and the sound of him cracking open that cold Busch Light after working all day is how I choose to remember my friend.

Thank you Tama County.

FknBucky

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07
Jul
24

The light (the dark -part 2)

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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Yesterday I talked about being the “dark”, a place that I go alone when I’m angry and feel cheated by life. Truth is I’m not cheated by anything. I chose to ride a motorcycle 22 years ago in horrible conditions when I wasn’t experienced enough to be doing so which resulted in me wrecking and becoming paralyzed. I pay for that decision 24/7 – 365 and will do so for the rest of my life no matter what happens. Prison isn’t even that harsh, my sentence was instant with no jury, and I have zero chance at parole. I accept all of that because it simply is the reality I have.

I didn’t plan to say all that, but it just came out. I just type what my brain thinks and that that is what you get to read when I post these. When I’m in the “dark” as I call it I don’t spend the time sitting in a corner feeling sorry for myself. I simply can’t and you shouldn’t either. I work. I spent time cleaning my bedroom, bathroom, and living room this past weekend while being very aware of how much time I was up in my wheelchair. The pressure sore dictates that, but I also swapped out my cushion for a heavier, but much better one for skin care which I should have done 4 weeks ago, but I never thought about it. Again I accept responsibility for the problems I face.

Blaming nurses, doctors, or the hospital in my case only leads to anger and frustration which makes solving my hardship nearly impossible. You can always find someone to point the finger at. How many problems do you solve while angry??? Well besides silencing a crap talker. Man I miss punching deserving people in the face. You can also go to a punk rock shows for 2 hours of mosh pit madness to release a lot of aggression. One time we actually fought the band once at the Ogden in Denver. That was an awesome show I saw with two Daves, a Skot, and Uncle John Jameson. Anyway. Violence is bad or something.

Here is the ultimate point. Do something. Keep moving no matter how slow it is. I fixed my wheelchair while in bed leaning to the side staying off my skin. I could have been crying, cursing (still was just at the chair instead of God and Big Bang Theory), or trying to ruin other people’s weekend because I was having a hard time. That would have been completely pointless and stupid. I have wanted to fix a bracket on my chair for months, but couldn’t find or make the time. It took me HOURS, but I finally got it perfect and makes I’m so darn happy. I didn’t plan that. It just became because I just kept doing.

The light doesn’t just show up. Nope. There is always work involved. Luckily I learned as a kid that work was good, setbacks are normal, and I had to rely on myself before crying to others. If you work even a tiny tiny bit the light will come. The strength will come. Each time the strength grows. The confidence grows. The happiness grows. Wait for it….. YOU GROW!!

FknBucky

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26
Apr
24

My Friend named Grandma

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Just boarded another airplane for another flight home.  I’ve done this dozens actually hundreds of times before, but today is different.  I’m flying home to say goodbye to one of my dearest friends.  I’m so thankful for the time I was able to spend with her and will remember all the wonderful conversations we had over the last 20 years.  For those of you that know me personally you know I have friends all over the world and I’ve been blessed to have so many of them.  This friend was all alone in her category simply because of her name.  Grandma.

I have always been close to my Dads father.  I was named after him and that was a small club to be in.  I probably don’t deserve his name as he was one of the greatest men I’ve ever known.  When he was 80 yrs old I watched him carry a large metal tub filled with corn down to the hog barn to feed the chickens.  Ha.  Just kidding.  There are pigs in the hog barn you fools!! When I would visit my Grandparents, Grandpa and I would sit at the table having tea and thoseamazing chocolate chip cookies only Grandma could make, while G-ma waited on us.  Naturally most of the conversation was between us men.  It was just the way it was.  I mean we all know the golden rule.  Women have to be quiet while the men are talking.

My Grandpa passed away 17 years ago and while back visiting Grandma she mentioned she is awake until 2-3 am most nights.  I started volunteering at the children’s hospital in San Diego around this time.  Every Tuesday night I would open and run a playroom for the kids to get out of their rooms and have some fun.   My drive home was 30-40m min and almost always after 9 PM.  I like to talk to people when I’m driving, but 9 PM is a little late to call friends to just say “hey”. One night I thought Grandma is awake, I’ll call her.  I called, she was up, and we had a great talk.  As time went on, week after week, I would continue to call G-ma on my drive home. She looked forward to it and so did I.  Something happened during those calls.  My Grandma became my friend.

She told me so many stories. How she first knew my Grandfather was the man she would marry.  He was at her place to help do some sort of work and as he left the house with the others, my grandma handed him a pair of gloves and their hands touched.  Not a quick touch, but long enough to gaze into each others eyes and decide I’m going to marry this person.  Simpler times.  A hand lingering just long enough to relay the message, but not too long to be creepy. 

She told me about her wedding day.  They were going to “honeymoon” in Waterloo planning to eat a fine dinner and then going to see a movie.  For reasons not discussed the young married couple were running late and had to smash a couple burgers quickly so they could still make the movie on time.  The best part was the happiness in her voice as she relived these memories with me.  I felt and still feel honored she shared these stories with me.  I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to know her so well. 

Grandma had so many pictures and was a rock within the family.  Doing all she could to keep the family together having family reunions and always encouraging everyone to let go of the anger, be open to kindness, and forgive when necessary.  It seems fitting that our whole family will be brought together one more time by Anna Pearl.  I can envision her and Grandpa (together again!) looking down at us all with smiles knowing they did their best for their family and I’m not alone when I say THANK YOU to both of them. 

Just part of Grandmas super army. Love you forever Grandma.

I will say this.  MAKE the time to talk with people you love.  None of us are that busy we can’t put forth the effort.  Well so and so never calls me, why should I reach out to them???  Why shouldn’t you??  Whatever happened let it go.  It isn’t worth dragging that anger anchor around with you.  Don’t you want to be free of this pissed off attitude that sucks up all your energy so you can stay mad???

I loved my Grandmother without question.  She was a remarkable woman.  All that came natural.  I’m happiest though knowing I took the time to make my amazing G-ma my best friend while I had the opportunity.  She taught me so many lessons that I will use the rest of my life.  Many times people will say I didn’t know what I had until it was gone.  I have learned very hard lessons that way, but this one time I got ahead of the game.  I made sure to appreciate my friend everyday. 

The world lost a bright shining light of a human, but heaven gained an angel that will forever be looking down at our families. 

That is what I wrote on the flight out.  I’m currently on the flight back to Charlotte. At the visitation I went by, but purposely didn’t look into the casket directly.  I used a bit of side eye, then closed my eyes, and said a private prayer between Anna Pearl and myself.  I didn’t want the vision of her in my head overwhelming all the happy mental pics I’ve taken of her during my life. 

My family is far from perfect.  My Grandma wasn’t perfect.  I am so far from Perphekt that I have to spell it wrong.  I might name one of my kids that actually….  Truth is like all families there is some drama and blah blah.  I don’t involve myself in that.  Some people need conflict and thrive on it.  I’m not one of those.  I prefer if something has your panties all wadded up, say something, get it off your chest, and then move on. 

The celebration of life was awesome.  Many of my family members made the trip home and we got to visit, laugh, and enjoy the moment.  Anna Pearl got us all together one last time.

We are all going to miss her, but I’ve promised myself to replay the great times in my head and share the advice, family history, and the wisdom my dear friend Grandma passed to me.

I love you Grandma and Grandpa.  So happy you are together again.  I promise to do my best to encourage everyone to drop the anchors and be happy again.  At this stage of the game no body is changing.  Just accept your family members for who they are and simply love them unconditionally.

Thank you,

FknBucky

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03
Jan
23

Perfectly Imperfect

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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Brand new year. Clean slate. What will you do differently this year??? Maybe 2023 is the year you actually stick to your resolutions. I have some big goals for this year and I’m very excited to chase them. My days are not unlimited and if I want to leave a positive mark on the world, I can’t be screwing around. I’m proud of the time I spend with young people and the lessons I’m able to teach them along the way. My niece is my latest victim, but she gives the right answer when I ask her how much “whiny voice” helped her get something done. She instantly replies “zero”. I’m old now. Not sure how 44 got here so fast. Not sure how 20+ years after that motorcycle accident got here, but here I am. I accepted my fate a long time ago while having a conversation with a mirror in Craig Hospital. It was just me and my reflection having the most powerful conversation of my life that no one else will ever understand.

Life is about accepting things that are so that you can be prepared to change the future. Read that one again. With all the wisdom I have acquired in my life, I still get reminded of that on a daily basis. I’m a student. Always. I want to learn everything, but there isn’t enough time. I wish I knew 20 languages. A hundred of them. I don’t. I barely speak English, I need to fix that, but I’m lazy in that department. Anyway lets not get bogged down there. If the opportunity is there, take the time to learn another language. I find teachers everywhere in life mostly because I’m willing to listen. I’m a great talker. One of the best in my opinion. I think before I speak and carefully use the words and phrases that will benefit me as the conversation goes forward. Sometimes I know what people will say because I led them there the whole time. I’m a conversation magician. That is enough insider info for you today.

What happens when I’m talking with a person that is 8 yrs old?? Complete chaos. I can’t predict what they will say. They haven’t been fully trained yet to fear change and still have the ability to say what they are thinking without fear of being canceled. I find it incredibly refreshing. Hmmm typing this out makes sense to me, and this is probably why I enjoy talking with kids. I can’t manipulate them or control the words they will say because they are still a true clean slate. Adults are like a chalkboard. You grab an eraser and move it back and forth until the original message is unreadable, but the chalk still remains. It never fully goes away meaning no matter how hard you try the past is always seeping into your present effecting the decisions you make concerning your future. Freedom is understanding that and overcoming it. To be free of your past mistakes takes work, but it is worth the trouble. Accept it. Learn the wisdom. Let it go.

I can’t stand half ass. To me don’t even start if you aren’t giving 110%. Perfection is what I strive for every time. That is why many blogs never get published. My name is on them. No chance I’m putting crap out there. My physical challenges are many these days. A few times a year I spend a Saturday with college kids learning to be Occupational Therapists. I do this because a friend of mine who I respect greatly asked me and I’m a sucker for having a conversation with 21 ladies & the token 1 guy about my favorite subject. ME. They work on me diagnosing the obvious things and a few I make up along the way. I have issues with my elbows and shoulders which sucks, but while going thru this process I was asked a question. Does your work suffer because it takes longer??? I was kind of offended by it and replied a very hard “NO”. I looked her in the eye and said “I don’t care how long it takes, I’m not “half assing” anything ever. Instant respect from the whole table. They knew I meant that. Tackle every task in your life with that philosophy and watch your life improve overnight.

Back to my teacher. I watched her learn to ride a hoverboard after getting one for Christmas. She got a little braver and more confident as time went on until BAM!!! Niece down. Insert tears. Fear. Anger. I yelled instantly “Get back on it”. I heard “No”, but that was an unacceptable answer. She did get back on and two minutes later the fall was history, but the lesson it taught was the present allowing her to not make that same mistake again. Accept it happened, but only hold on to the wisdom, let the fear and anger go. I’m a hard-ass yelling get back on it, but inside I’m an old softie. We went to the store and bought wrist, elbow, knee pads, and a helmet the next morning along with some paint and sand paper. We had to customize the pads to be cool otherwise they suck. Best way to make something cool to a kid, let them create it. Mind blown, I know.

She told me what she wanted and I traced it out with a sharpie so she could paint it. She sucks at painting. Got more paint on me than the pad. I showed her how to only dip the tip of the brush in paint and then slowly trace the lines I made to make it look great. I asked if she understood, she said “yes”, and then I handed her the paint brush. She immediately dipped that sucker into paint up to her elbow and in record time of 2 seconds completely traced my lines in the worst way possible. My inside voice was screaming “WTF!!!” I looked at her and saw a face of pride. She loved it and was all smiles. She had sanded this knee pad down, picked out the design, and then did it. I had to remind myself she is 8, this isn’t the Mona Lisa, and most importantly it made her happy. It was so imperfect that it became perfect. JUST LIKE THE PERSON YOU ARE.

I decided to dip my brush into paint up to my elbow and join the fun. It was freedom to paint outside of the lines and LOVE the way it looked. I had just learned a massive life lesson from an eight year old girl that sucks at painting.

Happy New Year!

I can’t stress enough how much I appreciate everyone that reads these blogs and truly hope that some of my rantings will help ignite a fire in you to chase your dreams. I don’t want to arrive alone at the finish line, I want to bring everyone I interact with with me. Use your clean slate to accept that you’re Perfectly Imperfect.

Please share the blog. Maybe you didn’t need this message today, but a family member might. A co-worker struggling with their confidence might read this and begin thinking I can do it. Instead of posting a “I hate Trump or I hate Biden” meme today, share a positive message that just might change a life.

FknBucky

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03
Dec
21

Tragedy and Smiles

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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I want to share a story with you today. A very important one that I hope will open your eyes, your heart, and help motivate you to count your blessings instead of constantly wishing for more. There is a club that no one wants to join. There is no name for it, it has no leader, and it is guaranteed that all members wish they could unjoin. It is a club of tragedy. Accidents that change the body is the cost of membership. I became a member April 1st, 2002 and have been dealing with it every single day since. This isn’t my story though.

I volunteer because I am able to help and I know that. I offer my everything to the people I talk with at the rehab hospital. I will answer any questions no matter how personal, help with any equipment they may need or want to know about, and I’m happy to talk with family members that want to learn/understand how to best help the loved one that is going thru this physical nightmare. I’ve probably talked with at least few hundred confused/scared people over the years and I’m very proud of that.

Travis and Staci Hoyle gave me permission to use their real names in this blog. Travis was injured a couple months ago and is currently using a wheelchair. I want to express one thing here very strongly. It isn’t your business how it happened. Don’t ask. Ever. It is not okay. Don’t say I’m one of those people that just blurt it out. Travis will tell you if he wants to. Instead do something easy. Talk to him like you would without the chair. He is the same person today as he was 6 months ago. Bust his balls, call him ugly, give him a hard time about driving a Nissan, or whatever else you normally do.

The Hoyle’s have a tough road ahead. It isn’t impossible, but it is hard and they will need that 4 wheel drive of his F150, (it is actually a 2004 Nissan 4×4 Supercharged) to get thru it. “Travis made sure I corrected that.” I have no doubts that they will. This is a strong family from what I have seen. Leave your pity at home. Nobody needs that crap. Bring your happiness, smiles, never give up attitude, and instead of asking for details on what happened say ”I know you got this and I’m here if you need anything.”

I see strength, fear, and determination in Staci and Travis’s eyes. It is okay to have fear because everything is new and we fear what we don’t know. The strength they have has nothing to do with lifting weights. True strength is in a persons mind, it is strong to accept reality, it is strong to smile first thing in the morning and say I can do this, it is strong to remember you’re not the only one going thru this, and most importantly it is strong to acknowledge other people are hurting as well. Pity parties are stupid and worthless so have a strength party. Challenge everyone around you to use the strength God gave them to overcome this obstacle. Once again I will say I have no doubt they will overcome this, but friends and family have a HUGE role to play to make that happen.

Unfortunately bad things happen to great people all the time. It is unfair and makes me want to scream at nothing sometimes. 20 years of membership and yes sometimes I still have moments of extreme weakness and anger. The key is to not live there. Accept the emotions, work thru them naturally, and get back to living your best life. Avoid the ”what if” hole because it simply leads to depression, anger, and regrets. What if I didn’t go, what if I didn’t stop for coffee, what if I didn’t date her, what if what if, and more what if. That is pointless because no matter how much you torture yourself it will not ever change the outcome.

You don’t have to be Travis and Staci to use the advice above. Everyone has hardships in life, hardship plays no favorites, and facing it head on is the right course of action. There is a benefit for Travis on Sunday. I’m told the 300 available tickets sold out very quickly. Money is always welcome and helpful, but kind words and genuine caring is fuel for the fighting spirit alive inside of Travis and Staci. This is not an easy road, but once again it is not impossible. The only thing different is Travis got a lot shorter and won’t be running up any stairs for a while.

Remember as this battle goes on that smiles and laughter are okay. In fact they are a must. Focus on the things that make you smile. Watching your kids succeed at anything. Holding your partner in front of a fireplace on a rainy night. Laughing with your friends while telling old stories. One of my best friends growing up and I would always yell when Welcome Home (Sanitarium) by Metallica came on. It is a random thing, but after my accident while having a tough moment in life that song come over the radio. I was instantly transported back in time and smiled gratefully that I was still alive to enjoy that memory. It is okay to be happy while dealing with tragedy. To this day every time I hear this song, I’m instantly 19 years old again, yelling at the radio with my friends while drinking a Busch Light.

It is easy to find reasons to be unhappy, mean, and ungrateful. True strength is when you put all those aside and find one reason to smile. You only need one. Kids, wife, family, friends, pets, food in your stomach, warm place to sleep, and so on. You can choose to be happy in horrible situations. In life when we are forced into situations beyond our control it is important to concentrate on the one thing we always have control of. Your Attitude. It is easy to smile at the end of the trip, but more important to keep that smile and positive attitude going during the journey no matter how long it may be.

I hope everyone who reads this will share it. You never know who needs to hear the message above. If you can donate money please do and then share this message. If you can’t send money I only ask you share this message so others will see it and be able to help.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/257mk-help-travis-hoylespinal-cord-injury?member=14697887&utm_campaign=contacts-v2-invite-to-donate&utm_medium=sms&utm_source=twilio

Count your blessings. Be grateful for the people in your life. Truly grateful for them.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

We still need Justice for Ryan Cooper. Please come forward if you have any information. As Russell Crowe said in the Gladiator “We will have our vengeance, in this lifetime or the next.”

26
Feb
21

Lesson Time

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The last couple days tested me to see if I would break, but we all know that isn’t happening. Not now, not ever. I don’t get bothered by being knocked down. It will never stop happening so why let it get to you??? To many of us have forgotten how important that lesson is for ourselves AND for the leaders of tomorrow. Our kids need to be knocked down. Sometimes two days in a row. Learning to handle life when it isn’t going your way is one of the most important lessons adults can give to kids. When you have the strength to say “Not today”, I’m not going to let some BS get to me today the world changes. It becomes less scary. You know that no matter what happens you are going to handle it.

Once I get past the “mother F**#^&$R, God DS&^$, Son of a B*#^$ moments on the floor I do what it takes to get back up. I believe I needed to learn that lesson or at least remind myself that we don’t get to pick when “hard times” come. We can only react to it. Luckily we have 100% control on how we react to the hard. What is your reaction?? Do you even know?? Has someone loved you enough to let you fall two days in a row and figure it out on your own??? I sure hope so. You simply have to accept that things happen in life. Sometimes those things are two days in a row and it sucks, but you have to rise above the suck or like a T-Shirt I have seen before “Embrace the Suck.”

I have the strength to forget portions of things. There is just something about me that has always understood that the lesson is important so learn it, keep it, file it, but let the rest of the BS go. Drop it like an old pair of shoes. Later. There was a day back when I was snowboarding that I won’t ever forget. I may have shared this story before, but here it is again. This guy from Chicago who was very charismatic was in the snowboard shop. All the employees (about 5-6) were gathered around him during slow time laughing. He was most likely in his 50’s, but cool. I wasn’t in the group yet but noticed a group of people laughing and I was going join that. I walked up saying something cause that is what I do and this gentleman looked me up and down. The group stopped and it was just him staring at me. Then he said “F*ck you.” I cocked my head like Annabel does when she is trying to understand me. I thought I have to fight this old man?? I hope he took multi-vitamin because IA/WI was about to be represented proper. He repeated it adding “F*ck you, You’re that guy.”

Now I’m curious. Smiling at him I’m like what?? He said ”You’re that guy. No matter what happens you are always okay.” I just went from expecting an ass kicking cause if you have ever been in a real fight you know better than to fight “old men”. They are meaner than your dumbass. A young buck like myself had to worry about looking cool, but old men don’t give a F about looking cool. They will hit you with a board, walk away slowly sipping their coffee, and probably buy you a beer later unless you’re a super d-bag. Don’t fight old men. Okay, but now I’m trying to understand what he meant. The whole group was looking at me when he repeated it. He said “No matter what happens, you’re always okay.” I couldn’t argue the point. He was right. How he could see that so quickly has always been a mystery to me. I had self confidence for days so maybe that?? It stuck with me and I’ve drawn strength from those words a complete stranger said to me many many times. I would love to see him again. Let me know if you run into him. He was a tall black man from Chicago that told funny jokes. There that should narrow it down.

I had way different ideas for blogs this week, but sometimes a different message demands to be shared. I can only assume someone that reads this blog needed to hear about me falling two days in a row only to get right back up smiling two days in a row. The smashed screen on my IPad is a bummer, but it is a thing and I promise you there is NOT one possession I have that if taken away will ruin my day. Ef that. I will never let any worldly possession be that important to me. Try it. It is liberating. Of course I’ll be bummed as some things are cool, but it is only stuff. Memories and friendships. That is where you put ALL of your focus and you’ll have a very fulfilling life. Feel free to donate on my non-existent Go Fund Me Page so I can buy a new IPAD.

ACTUALLY I do know of a person in need right now of some help. I will put the link below. Every dollar is important so please help if you can.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/hoobapalooza?utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR37XWFBTK9mNS6ELOuOxxQvn40P3cVd7msp0tzHuwfTv0oL_qal2SW6S4s

If you can’t help financially please simply share it. The more people that see it, the more help we can do. EVERY dollar helps so no donation is too small. This is a person who’s living situation has become very difficult. The only bathroom is upstairs and do to the progression of his CP he is no longer able to climb the stairs. Take a moment and imagine that. Thousands if not millions of people overcome insane obstacles to simply survive, and you’re crying about what exactly??? Don’t worry there is no my problems are bigger than yours competition, but sometimes understanding what others go thru can help give us strength to tackle our own problems.

I feel good this AM and don’t worry I’m so paranoid about falling again that I’ve rearranged my living room. Probably should have done that after the first fall, but I assumed that was a fluke. Now I know that lightening will strike twice in the world of FknBucky so I had better be ready for it. So remember just because something hard happened to you yesterday doesn’t make you immune to it today. When it happens you have to take a moment for anger, shame, and sadness, but then move on. That poor me baggage will weigh YOU down. No one else. Personally I’m going to look for extra ways to spread kindness today. It will make me feel awesome knowing that I took the energy from falling and passed it on as a positive for someone. I could easily use that energy and snap at someone else to make them feel like crap. If I’m hurt then someone else should be too. That is a stupid thing to do so don’t do it.

Take a breath, take a moment, and then do something kind for anyone expecting nothing in return. The expecting nothing IS the most important part. Do kind things because it is the right thing to do and builds positive character in you. You can’t buy positive character no matter how much money you have, but you can earn it every single day for free.

Happy Friday

FknBucky

14
Dec
15

One Kiss

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

FAMOUS_ALFRED_EISENSTAEDT_S_PICTURE_DURING_V_J_DAY_IN_TIMES_SQUAREIt’s 3:15 in the morning and I can’t sleep.  Maybe I should stop drinking this Red Bull, but then making good decisions has never been something I do.  Sleep is for the dead I say, and the extremely hung over which I am not today.  First time for everything.

I worked late on Friday and have had this person on my mind ever since.  Guess I’ll write about it and share this incredible story with the three people that read this.  I met a girl a while back thru my job that has a traumatic brain injury (TBI) and has a tough road ahead.  When you first meet her it is heartbreaking as she can’t speak, can’t move, and can’t much of anything.

She is young, beautiful, and is still an active duty United States soldier.  She was hurt serving this country and is paying a price for your freedom that you would have never known about unless I typed these words today.  Meeting her filled me with raw emotion, overwhelmed me with this powerful image, and to me she is an American hero.

The pictures on the wall tell a story of a gorgeous redhead that is full of life and always smiling. Her young daughter with the trademark red hair running around outside with a pack of 4 other kids and 3 dogs.  Quite a sight to see.  She is surrounded by one of the greatest families I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting and that is saying something.  I can’t stress enough how wonderful they all are, which is what it takes to work thru something so hard.

I’ve stopped by and met with the family multiple times now over the last 5 months and it is one of the best parts of my new job.  I work in sales and sell durable medical equipment that helps people like this young soldier.  I know how life changing it can be to find and use the right equipment when faced with challenges in life.  Her mother worked tirelessly with the VA to get the government to pay for certain items that will make a difference in her life.  There should be no red tape in a case like this, but that blog we will save for another day.  I can’t stress enough how impressive this family is.  Never give up should be their last name.

So while you are complaining about the line being to long at Starbucks, the traffic on the way to the office, or what a certain politician said about something remember that the struggle is very real for some. Everyday they wake up to the same hard shit, put on a smile, and do what needs to be done because that is what being American is about.  At least in my humble opinion.

So on Friday evening I was there with the family, a nurse, and this young lady helping them pick out a new shower chair that will makes things easier. This is when I witnessed something astonishing.  This young ladies mother told me I had to watch her give a kiss.  I thought to myself how can she give a kiss??  I sat there watching with my doubts clearly hidden inside of me, and that is when it happened.

Mom leaned over and this United States soldier with an incredible amount of effort slowly gave her mother a kiss on the cheek.  Something you’ve done a thousand times and most likely don’t give it a second thought. Amazed, blown away, remarkable or any other adjectives I can think of simply don’t do enough to describe this moment in my life.  Her head didn’t move, her arms didn’t come up, but her lips unmistakably came together and kissed her mother. It was the most beautiful kiss I have ever witnessed and I can’t imagine anything ever topping it.  I even had these strange puddles form in my eyes that I’ve never experienced before.

I never thought I could be so moved by a simple kiss on the cheek, but it is an image I knew instantly that I would never forget and now I wanted to share it with you.  Life is hard and for some it is extremely hard, but just remember somewhere out there somebody has it tougher and they are not quitting, bitching, or crying all day about why me.  Your problems are yours, own them, and then solve them.  If you’re a good person you will have plenty of people around that will gladly help you. If you’re not a good person, you’ve just identified your first problem to solve.

So thank a soldier, an airman, a Marine, a sailor and hell thank everyone around you for being alive today.  It will make them feel good and you’ll be on your way to becoming a good person.

Godspeed to this young soldier and please keep her and the family in your thoughts and prayers.

FknBucky

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