It bothers me that I haven’t been writing. I’m not even sure why, but I think it is partly because of all the working out. I’m tired. A lot. Turns out being in my 40’s and paralyzed isn’t the easiest time to become a workout fanatic. Should have started sooner, but that whole dying thing last year really set me back. Heck of a story if you ever want to hear about it let me know.
I see that LSU fired their coach. They only have to buy him out of a 54 million dollar contract. Is this what all those college loans that no one can afford go to?? A football coach?? These are the people teaching the next generation about how to be adults?? Blowing 54 million because a game didn’t go your way for a couple of weeks?? I have a very serious point to make here so read slowly…. The other team’s coach gets paid to win also.
Holy moly. Yeah sometimes you lose in life even when you do everything right. Maybe that is a lesson we can teach these whiny little brats that love to wave their 4 year degree in our faces. Life is hard sometimes. You can train hard, work hard, play hard, and still end up with an L. Wipe the dirt off, do it again, and for all your troubles you get another L. It happens. There are a ton of people out there working just as hard as you for the same damn prize.
Penn State did the same thing. They fired one of the most successful coaches in college football. Apparently he didn’t like showering with the team so they had to let him go. What?? To soon?? You can’t talk about that Bucky?? Shut up. You can’t rape children in the locker room moron. How about saying that. Off topic, but point made I hope. I’m just a bit baffled at the overreaction to a couple of games. Things happen. Maybe the coach made a wrong choice somewhere, but these aren’t guys that were coaching JV high school games last year and you decided to give a “shot” to.
How about this?? Keep your coach and take that 50 million you are about to piss into the wind, and pay off student loans for a bunch of kids that chose your school from all the other ones. Who cares if you lose a couple foosball games in the big scheme of things??
Maybe LSU will pay that guy from Penn State and Penn State can pay the guy from LSU. Now that would be awesome.
Hello my friends. I have been so busy trying to keep my life in order it has been difficult to find time to write on here. We have been recording podcasts the last week and I remind you I’ve only been out two weeks from my near death experience hospital time. My stupid arm is still numb and the shoulder hurts when I use it. Funny thing about being paralyzed. If one of my arms doesn’t work, I simply roll in circles which is an issue for me.
So in about two hours I will be arriving at the hospital to have my left kidney taken out. We’ve been together for 45 years. Longest relationship I’ve ever had, but like a few of my other ex’s that bitch has been trying to kill me. I’ve said in the past “It is time to cut the drama from my life”, but this is the first time it is literally happening. I’ve had surgeries before, but I’m truthful on here. I’m a little scared. This is the first time a major organ is being taken out. They tried to take my left nut about 15 years ago, but like the rest of me (minus this stupid wimp left kidney) it was too strong to quit and came back. My balls are awesome.
I gotta get dressed for this. I love you all. Thank you for all your support and well wishes. Looking forward to writing again soon. Please go to YouTube and watch the podcasts. Episode 24 is so funny. I love it.
Take care of each other and let go of petty BS. Life is too short to carry anger around. Show love and forgiveness and you will have a happy experience on this beautiful planet. Travel. Enjoy. Smile. Talk to people that are different from you with an open mind.
Okay no women jokes today. Just keeping it clean for all 729 genders today because FknBucky doesn’t want to offend anyone. No making fun of your race, face, the space you take, or any other things that would be an ace. No jokes abut who you sleep with. No jokes about myself, my family, my friends, or anyone else that will laugh cause I’m funny.
FknBucky
READ * THINK * LIVE FREE
Share this blog and remind people to stop being so angry at everything. Life is short friends. Smile.
FOR REAL PART: Worst blog ever. Stop being so damn uptight. Laughing at ourselves is what GOD and BIG BANG THEORY intended. Pick one thing in your life TODAY that is bothering you and laugh at it. Tell a friend about it and then laugh. You will feel a freedom that truly will change your life.
P.S. More of the hospital story coming tomorrow. Been a busy week. I gotta work as writing don’t pay my friends!!
I got the RAGE. The road is mine. “Get out the way B___!!!” as Ludacris would say. I’m not alone as thousands of videos on youtube show idiots freaking out over driving issues. That in itself is the problem. I drive a lot. More than most people I know. I drive to work as I cover North and South Carolina for a sales territory. I also drive back to the midwest to see family a few times a year. I’ve driven from coast to coast multiple times in my life along with from Canada to Mexico/Gulf. What is the point of that?? Point is I’ve driven a lot. Stop interrupting me.
I see it every day. People out driving that would be better off thrown into a small box and left in the jungle somewhere far far away. Actually that would be a waste. We wouldn’t want that so we put them in a box, cook them in the sun for 5-6 days, and when nice a ripe we feed them to cannibal tribes in Brazil. It is a win win. I see you. I watch your crap car switch lanes. No blinker. No plan. Just you driving like all the other cars are simply obstacles. You can’t be bothered to think about the family in the car you just cut off. You got no time to think about the 52 year old man that is just trying to get home after working a long shift. His wife and kids have no other income as they are living paycheck to paycheck, but you don’t care because you have need for speed.
I watch as you swerve into this lane and that lane. Going up three car lengths to slam on your brakes when you finally see what the rest of us see. Traffic is backed up. Nowhere to go regardless of how many people you cut off. You try to do 85 mph on the freeway when traffic is moving 50 mph. Obviously you are a brain surgeon needing to go save lives in your 2001 Honda Accord. My guess is your meth dealer called and said he will meet you at the truck stop your Mom works at as a Lot Lizard. Yeah I went there.
I watched this happen on the way to the VA yesterday. Two cars could not accept that traffic was heavy. They came on about exit 60 going very fast to merge into traffic that was not going very fast. Both cars had to brake hard to not ram the cars in front of them. 4 lanes of traffic all going the same speed. I like go fast too when traffic is light, but I know when that isn’t happening. We’ve all seen these drivers who are happy to endanger every person around them to get 40 feet further. It is stupid beyond all. If you do this you are STUPID. Both cars exited on Exit 70. 10 miles. They maybe got a 1/4 mile further along than I was.
That quarter mile. What is that in the time of life clock? 10-15 seconds. Heck I’ll even be generous and say they saved a full minute driving recklessly with complete abandon for anyone else on that road at that time. You got away with the swerving, bumper riding, crap selfish driving this time, but what about the next time. It is a habit because you’re STUPID. You do it everyday, multiple times a day, year after year, and somehow you still have the balls to say ”It was an accident” when you cause a wreck and kill someone. Is that 1 minute worth a persons life??
Tell you what. Do me a favor and let me know which person you care about in your life that we can sacrifice so I can start driving like a jerk as well. If you are willing to gamble the lives of people I love so that you can get your precious minute then you got to ante up. Doesn’t sound so cool when you think about it in real life terms. This isn’t Grand Theft Auto where you simply crash, jump out of the car, and steal a new one. There are no extra lives for the people you hit or the people you supposedly love riding in your car. If you drive like this with your kids in the car you are a special sort of STUPID. Not only do you endanger them, but you are teaching the next generation of STUPID.
People die because of drivers like this. Kids, adults, Moms, Dads, and families are ruined for your precious seconds. Seconds. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10…. That amount of time cost someone their life by a STUPID driver. Slow down, let that car merge in, enjoy life instead of riding a bumper in front of you screaming at the driver like they care or can hear you. I hate the cars going slow in the passing lane as well, but when traffic is heavy it doesn’t matter. The next time you catch yourself doing these things remind yourself that no amount of time is worth a life. How much are you willing to gamble??
Be Safe my Friends.
FknBucky
READ * THINK * LIVE FREE
P.S. I’ve written about this before, but the message should be taught to EVERYONE that plans to drive or ride in an automobile. I ask that if you read this blog and agree please post a comment or share it. Please love yourself and others enough to let the minute go. Better yet ask your dead self if the 15 seconds were worth it.
I want to share a story with you today. A very important one that I hope will open your eyes, your heart, and help motivate you to count your blessings instead of constantly wishing for more. There is a club that no one wants to join. There is no name for it, it has no leader, and it is guaranteed that all members wish they could unjoin. It is a club of tragedy. Accidents that change the body is the cost of membership. I became a member April 1st, 2002 and have been dealing with it every single day since. This isn’t my story though.
I volunteer because I am able to help and I know that. I offer my everything to the people I talk with at the rehab hospital. I will answer any questions no matter how personal, help with any equipment they may need or want to know about, and I’m happy to talk with family members that want to learn/understand how to best help the loved one that is going thru this physical nightmare. I’ve probably talked with at least few hundred confused/scared people over the years and I’m very proud of that.
Travis and Staci Hoyle gave me permission to use their real names in this blog. Travis was injured a couple months ago and is currently using a wheelchair. I want to express one thing here very strongly. It isn’t your business how it happened. Don’t ask. Ever. It is not okay. Don’t say I’m one of those people that just blurt it out. Travis will tell you if he wants to. Instead do something easy. Talk to him like you would without the chair. He is the same person today as he was 6 months ago. Bust his balls, call him ugly, give him a hard time about driving a Nissan, or whatever else you normally do.
The Hoyle’s have a tough road ahead. It isn’t impossible, but it is hard and they will need that 4 wheel drive of his F150, (it is actually a 2004 Nissan 4×4 Supercharged) to get thru it. “Travis made sure I corrected that.” I have no doubts that they will. This is a strong family from what I have seen. Leave your pity at home. Nobody needs that crap. Bring your happiness, smiles, never give up attitude, and instead of asking for details on what happened say ”I know you got this and I’m here if you need anything.”
I see strength, fear, and determination in Staci and Travis’s eyes. It is okay to have fear because everything is new and we fear what we don’t know. The strength they have has nothing to do with lifting weights. True strength is in a persons mind, it is strong to accept reality, it is strong to smile first thing in the morning and say I can do this, it is strong to remember you’re not the only one going thru this, and most importantly it is strong to acknowledge other people are hurting as well. Pity parties are stupid and worthless so have a strength party. Challenge everyone around you to use the strength God gave them to overcome this obstacle. Once again I will say I have no doubt they will overcome this, but friends and family have a HUGE role to play to make that happen.
Unfortunately bad things happen to great people all the time. It is unfair and makes me want to scream at nothing sometimes. 20 years of membership and yes sometimes I still have moments of extreme weakness and anger. The key is to not live there. Accept the emotions, work thru them naturally, and get back to living your best life. Avoid the ”what if” hole because it simply leads to depression, anger, and regrets. What if I didn’t go, what if I didn’t stop for coffee, what if I didn’t date her, what if what if, and more what if. That is pointless because no matter how much you torture yourself it will not ever change the outcome.
You don’t have to be Travis and Staci to use the advice above. Everyone has hardships in life, hardship plays no favorites, and facing it head on is the right course of action. There is a benefit for Travis on Sunday. I’m told the 300 available tickets sold out very quickly. Money is always welcome and helpful, but kind words and genuine caring is fuel for the fighting spirit alive inside of Travis and Staci. This is not an easy road, but once again it is not impossible. The only thing different is Travis got a lot shorter and won’t be running up any stairs for a while.
Remember as this battle goes on that smiles and laughter are okay. In fact they are a must. Focus on the things that make you smile. Watching your kids succeed at anything. Holding your partner in front of a fireplace on a rainy night. Laughing with your friends while telling old stories. One of my best friends growing up and I would always yell when Welcome Home (Sanitarium) by Metallica came on. It is a random thing, but after my accident while having a tough moment in life that song come over the radio. I was instantly transported back in time and smiled gratefully that I was still alive to enjoy that memory. It is okay to be happy while dealing with tragedy. To this day every time I hear this song, I’m instantly 19 years old again, yelling at the radio with my friends while drinking a Busch Light.
It is easy to find reasons to be unhappy, mean, and ungrateful. True strength is when you put all those aside and find one reason to smile. You only need one. Kids, wife, family, friends, pets, food in your stomach, warm place to sleep, and so on. You can choose to be happy in horrible situations. In life when we are forced into situations beyond our control it is important to concentrate on the one thing we always have control of. Your Attitude. It is easy to smile at the end of the trip, but more important to keep that smile and positive attitude going during the journey no matter how long it may be.
I hope everyone who reads this will share it. You never know who needs to hear the message above. If you can donate money please do and then share this message. If you can’t send money I only ask you share this message so others will see it and be able to help.
Count your blessings. Be grateful for the people in your life. Truly grateful for them.
FknBucky
READ * THINK * LIVE FREE
We still need Justice for Ryan Cooper. Please come forward if you have any information. As Russell Crowe said in the Gladiator “We will have our vengeance, in this lifetime or the next.”
Obviously I started this a couple days ago. Message is the same though!
Some days it is just too easy. Sorry Mom, but I see some 4 letter words flying out the fingertips today. The human race has turned into a 40 yard dash with all of the runners being a double amputee. That means they have no legs and the race is over. I have officially called it at 9:16 AM on May 13th, 2021. Done. The only race going on now is the one to the bottom of dipshit mountain. Our society has fallen into the ME ME ME mentality with no hope in sight of it ever being fixed. This is not difficult. Anyone that raced to a gas station to fill up because the TV told you there was a shortage then you are now a lifetime member of dipshit mountain. In fact the little dipshits look up to you because you are King/Queen dipshit.
I had to drive to a VA hospital to set up a Veterans wheelchair. On the way there I noticed I was pretty low on fuel wasn’t going to make it home without getting more. Obviously I panicked so I turned on CNN to learn why my hard moment was Trumps fault. Then I felt better. After my VA appointment I went to see if I was taking an Uber home or driving myself. The first station I pulled into was 100% out of gasoline. I parked my van, kept it idling to burn extra fuel, and then had a good long cry because the world inconvenienced me. Luckily the solve all my problems fairy showed up with a container of gasoline. If you believe that I hate you.
The panic pricks cause the problem. I wish we could put shock collars onto stupid people. You want to fill up a storage container with gasoline, it is America and you’re free to do so, but I should be free to taze you while my friends watch and laugh. We obviously learned nothing from the toilet paper hoarding one year ago. I can’t even blame the media. They are free to say all the skewed things they want to push their agenda. They have one don’t ever forget that. Those in power want you scared. They want you to be afraid and look to them to save you. Maybe it is a God complex or it is good for business. Follow the dollars.
I read yesterday that someone actually paid those hackers 4-5 million dollars to get control of the pipeline again. Nice. History has taught us that when someone gets away with a crime they never do it again. I’m just going to throw this out there, but if more people focused on stuff like this and less on impeaching Trump for 9 times we wouldn’t be here. I want to be clear. I don’t give a crap about Trump. If this doesn’t make you realize how close we are to a real problem then you’re an idiot. We don’t elect problem solvers. We elect people that tell us what we want to hear. That is a major issue. When shit hits the fan and it will, we are going to be at the mercy of the morons we voted into office. I see these fools on TV and I wouldn’t trust them to fix my sock drawer. By the way I don’t wear socks.
This would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. I wonder how many preteen girls Joe has to sniff to solve this problem?? We will never know because he will “get in trouble” for answering questions. Huh?? You are the leader of the free world and the most powerful man on the planet. Who are you going to be in trouble with?? I feel like that is a fair question, but nothing is fair and it will never be asked.
The truth is things can get very fucked, very fast, these days with computers running everything. Take my advice and get some storage food and water and just have it. Grocery stores will be emptied in minutes if there is a real problem and panic. Have some MRE’s in a closet along with some water. Or call me an idiot and do nothing. I’m not sharing any of mine though. Actually I probably would, but secretly I’m going to be pissed off about it while telling you it is okay. My apartment complex made me get rid of my milking cow so we will have to settle for almond milk. Takes forever to squeeze those little tits though.
I usually say to do something kind for a stranger right about here. Not today. I hate everyone. Go to the freezer, grab the ice cream container, and eat the whole thing yourself with out sharing. Welcome to the ME team. Only for today. Tomorrow you have to go back loving everyone, but for today…. Enjoy the ice cream.
1921. That is forever ago. I looked up the number one song for that year. It is the most racist thing I’ve seen in a long time. I will not be going that route for the blog today. 1921 is when Prince Philip was born. I think the Royals are stupid, but only the young ones. They’ve become a Kardashian reality show and I give them zero time or thought. Now Prince Philip is a very interesting fellow. He married the princess that would become a Queen of England forever. She will never die. She eats children burgers. Haha. Told you it isn’t going away. Where do you think Pippa learned it from?? If 23 year old Bucky met Pippa I would be writing this blog from Buckingham palace. The place is pretty much named after me so… There was a time. My game was strong. Alright I have a thousand fun stories, but its not that kind of blog.
I love to travel, to experience life and new things, and truly inject myself into something different. I think that is why I have moved so many times. That and the warrants. Can you imagine the stories Prince Philip must have had?? Unlimited money to go anywhere you wanted. That would be cool, but on the other hand he never got to experience real life in those places. Everyone catered to him and treated him like royalty. You don’t understand a place without spending a couple days with the locals. Think of Rose in the movie Titanic. She had this lavish lifestyle, but never really lived until she went below deck and got loaded with the peasants. Good thing she did too or no way is Leo giving up that door.
I used to have a joke when I was about 23. I would cheers everyone at the table and say we are celebrating!! When asked why, I would respond with my future wife was born today. I’ve had to change that up a bit as I get older because it is more creepy than funny when I’m in my 40’s. Now I cheers and say “she got her first job as a gas station clerk” today!! Let’s face it. A 22 year old girl that marries me is most likely not going to be college educated. It is okay I have it all planned out. We get married, I throw a couple kids in her, and then 11 years later I’m worth 600K in life insurance and perish in a mysterious house fire that was started with C4 explosives. Sounds more fun than dying of prostate cancer or some crap. Wow. I completely forgot what the heck I was writing about.
Back on track. They are having a funeral for Prince Phil today and just take a moment to think of all the things he lived thru. WW2, the Beatles, air in shoes, airplanes, cars, going to the moon, and the best of them all, you get to pick what gender you are regardless of the plumbing!! What is not to love there?? He did fight in WW2 and was the recipient of a good number of medals. I’ll let you google him and read up on like I did. You won’t do it though so there is that. Face it you’re still thinking about later tonight when you’re at the bar and can use my joke. Go ahead it is funny. Fat Karen might even let you take a ride tonight. Enjoy that.
100 years is a long time to live. I’m fascinated by people that have been on Earth that long. My Grandmother being one of them. The stories they tell of different times and hardships. We are spoiled as people now. Most people don’t work for anything. You aren’t growing a garden to be able to can vegetables in the fall so you can feed your family over the winter. You aren’t milking cows, feeding chickens, or cutting firewood to simply survive. Nope. You complain if the air conditioner doesn’t work fast enough.
I admire Prince Philip. From everything I read he was a very good person. On his own he was a mans man. He didn’t have to take a back seat for anyone except for the Queen. To me it is admirable that he did do this. He must have really loved her. I think that is pretty cool. My guess is the Queen won’t live much longer mainly because she is 1,000 years old already, but losing her partner after all these years will most likely take a toll on her and truthfully whatever does happen after life on Earth she needs to be with Philip. I mean all of that in a kind way. Really I do.
I was pretty tough on the Royals a few weeks back, but thats because of the new drama Queen BS they have become. I’ve read about the Queen and Prince Philip and respect them both. So Rest In Peace Prince Phil. You’ve earned it.
Be kind to others. The only way to make the world better is for you to make yourself better. Think about it.
My Mom never misses a day of reading this blog. Sorry Mom, but I am out there defending your honor EVERY DAY!
It is Friday or maybe it isn’t. I don’t know what day you’ll read this. I hope you do read it though. I can be wrong at times and honestly I’m okay with that. If you’re never incorrect or on the wrong side of things you’re not trying enough. Failing or being wrong as just as important to being a good human as succeeding and being correct. Many times it is more important. Success is easy to accept. Defeat forces us back to the drawing board to analyze and then retry based on the lessons learned.
I drive a lot in my personal life and in my professional life. I see a lot of bad driving. Obviously it is always women doing the bad driving. Who’s idea was it to let women drive again??? Next we are going to let them vote. Oh man there is no coming back from that. See what I mean about mistakes??? Nobody gets it perfect the first time around, but we can learn and evolve as humans accepting we are incorrect about a certain way of thinking and then take steps to fix it. You can make new laws, but I will always believe you need to change a persons heart to measure true progress.
Back to the crap driving I see daily. I watch all the time people that refuse to let someone merge in front of them. It is true insanity. Blinkers used to mean you were going to travel from the lane you are currently in to the lane next to you. They do not mean this anymore. Now when you turn your blinker on you are calling the mother of the driver next to you a whore. I didn’t get that memo either. I had to figure it out. Now once the insult is fired off that driver is required to speed up not slow down so that you can not get into their lane. If they successfully block you from merging into that lane their mother is not a whore. Who knew?? Nobody tells you at the DMV either. I had to figure this whole system out on my own.
There is the flip back Mom whore maneuver that should not be attempted by a rookie. No this takes years of practice. This happens when the driver attempting the merge flips on blinker and starts the process. To perfectly execute this move you must still be one or more car links behind merging car. Once the blinker is engaged you must act quickly. First thing you do is floor it. Remember your mother was just called a whore by that blinker using bastard. While closing the gap and hopefully almost causing an accident (this means you’re doing it correctly) you start to lay on your horn. Very important to simply hold it down. If you only toot toot that is actually accepting the insult on your Mom. I know some of your Moms. You may want to practice the toot toot.
Now that your engine is red lining, your horn is blaring, you are ready for reverse Mom whore. This is you screaming at that other car while flailing your arms about to let them know you are legit crazy. They have no choice, but to turn that darn blinker off, and wait to insult someone else’s mother. Well done. Not only did you block the insult, but you threw it back over onto them. Sometimes this driver will actually toot toot to you accepting their Mother’s fate. The extra cherry on top is they miss their exit and have to drive an extra 7 miles. Don’t you worry about it though you’re on your way to a save the planet meeting addressing ways to cut back on needless use of fossil fuels. Go figure that one out.
Driving is true reflection of your inside character I believe. It is anonymous as nobody knows who you are unless your in a small town so you can do what ever you want with out having to answer for it. If you are a jerk it will show in the way you drive. If you don’t allow cars to merge in front of you for whatever reason you’re a Dick. Slow down and let the person in. I’m quite certain no one likes you and won’t mind if you are a few minutes late. They would probably rather you didn’t show up at all. Not only do you not let a car in, but you have to weave in and out of traffic to get ahead three spots before cutting across three lanes to take the next exit. All the cars that you practically hit weaving about pass you as you pull up to the red light on the exit ramp. The word stupid is way to kind for you. You are stupid squared. I’m going call you SQUPID. Honk again at me I dare you.
I could fill a dozen books with BS I see on the roads. I’m the guy that will let you in. I also leave space in between me and car in front of me so people can turn left while I’m at a stoplight. If I’m on a busy street I will not block traffic for 10 minutes waiting to turn left. Nope, I will go down, use the left turn lane at the stoplight that has a green arrow. Then I will do a U turn allowing me to come back and turn into the parking lot I wanted using a right turn. I added 45 seconds to my drive, but I didn’t back up traffic forever because I’m a SQUPID. Being kind has no off button. You can look for ways to be kind to other drivers. It isn’t hard.
The way we treat each other while controlling a 2 ton missile is disgusting. I swear some people do NOT want to live thru their commute. That is fine by me, but leave me and everyone else out of it. Speed up, pop a couple uppers or downers, turn your blinker on for an obscene amount of time while flying down the road and then go hit a tree. In this scenario I feel sorry for the tree.
Be kind to one another. You don’t have to follow someone home and wash their car to be kind. Just hit the brake a tad and let them merge in. In fact don’t follow people home. It isn’t as romantic a gesture as one might think. Cops, restraining orders, and the hassles.. That is what a friend told me 47 times. Only a percentage of you will get that joke and I’m okay with that.
I love my Moms. Yes I have more than one. I am so awesome one Mother’s love just wasn’t enough so God gave me another.
FknBucky
P.S. I am a master at the reverse Mom Whore so don’t even think about blinkering me.
I haven’t posted in a couple days simply because I haven’t felt right about the things I was letting out. I kept getting sucked back into that dumb Royal crap although I did and will not watch the interview. It is everywhere though. Put it this way. If you can’t find a reason to be happy in Meghan shoes then you have completely failed at life. Completely. So Fuck her and her bullshit. That is how I really feel on that matter.
This used to be a paragraph complaining about politicians. I didn’t like it so I’ve come back to erase it. To summarize it I will say this. I am never donating one penny to any of them. Ever. Please read 2nd to last sentence in first paragraph. That is what I got to say.
Okay now that I have the BS out of the way lets talk being happy. Completely random today, but I came across a video on YouTube that I had to watch. It made me laugh immediately which was what I needed. It is now 5:16 AM, but I have been up since 3:30. I made myself a promise when I decided to do this blog thing for real this year that I would be honest with those that read it even though I don’t want to sometimes. I had an issue with my bowels which forced me awake at 3:30 to which I have spent the last 2 hours cleaning myself and my apartment from this issue. Sucks, but it happens sometimes and it is something a paraplegic has to deal with. Still think your alarm clock is a jerk. I can’t go back to sleep because I have a meeting with a Veteran at 9 AM today. I also promised to bring homemade cinnamon rolls that I prepared for baking last night. A good part of me wants to crawl back into bed and wait for tomorrow. That would be a waste though. I might be dead tomorrow and spending my last day on Earth feeling sorry for myself over something I can’t control seems like a stupid plan.
So I don’t. I let go of the anger and poor me BS so that I can get back to living. The video. So it was of Chris Farley going onto Letterman. Wow. The guy was such a wonderful entertainer. You can just see thru him and realize 90% of his big ass was heart. He had his own demons, but the selfless way he made others smile and laugh using his own body as the punch line. It hurts to be “big” and people judge you even when they say they’re not. The world lost something special the day he passed on. A rare treasure that can’t be reinvented. Many people have tried and continue to try and fill the ginormous shoes left behind by a legend. I have done stand up and it is terrifying. To be so willing to make the world happier by putting on a tiny coat, by living in a van down by the river, and most importantly going head to head with Patrick Swayze in a chippendale competition only to make strangers laugh is so so special. And it worked. Still working.
Take a few minutes for yourself today an watch this video. You’re not too busy to watch it, you’re not that angry at anything and what is the worst that can happen?? You smile for a few minutes instead of writing out another FB post complaining about blah blah or even blah blah blah. Hey I got plenty to be upset about this AM, but why. Why would I allow the negative side of things run my life and most importantly my attitude about life?? Bad things happen sometimes that we can’t stop or control. You can control your attitude and the way you respond to everything. I promise you I will always pick how I respond to the events in my life. It doesn’t matter what you did yesterday or having been doing the last 30 or 40 years. Starting today right now you can decide to just let the BS go, watch a few minutes of a legend making us laugh, and have a great day. Remember everyone has a reason to be ticked off, but the true tough guy/gals look for a reason to be happy. You always get back what you’re putting out so if you want smiles you had better find a way to get one on your face.
I want to be very clear on one issue though. I don’t want or need any sympathy. I struggle internally whether to share some of these intimate hard details of my life and the complications that come with my disability. I hate the word disabled for the record. A lot. I mentioned earlier that I was going to be honest and soiling myself is something that happened. I dealt with it and moved on. I know I harp on this let things go and that is for a reason. It works. I truly hope that my openness will help at least one person say “I’m done too. I’m not dragging the BS I can’t control around with me anymore.”
Here is what I concentrate on. I made it to my meeting, the cinnamon rolls turned out amazing and people liked them very much. Everyone is on a diet, but the people brave enough to try a 6,000 calorie roll were very happy. I sold some products today making some money, I have a gorgeous awesome dog I’m about to take for a very long walk, and I’m alive.
My problems aren’t bigger than yours or more important. They are mine and I choose to deal with them by not letting it screw my life/day up. So whatever it is let it go. Right now. Never look back at it.
I appreciate you all and please be kind to one another. You never know how problematic someone’s life is. Oh and when in doubt or down please go watch a Chris Farley video.
(** I started this blog the other day, but ran out of time to finish, hence the 4 AM**)
Well here we go. Another 4 AM morning, but it beats not waking up so like every other day, I will accept it and move on. I have a couple other blogs started, but they will take a back seat today as I wanted to talk about something I absolutely suck at. One would think that by age 27 I would have figured out how to do something as simple as the task we are going to discuss over the next four paragraphs. I know that I’m not alone in skipping over, ignoring, and simply letting pride get in the way of this ever important tool we need in life.
What could it possibly be?? Any guesses?? To be honest if you don’t have it figured out by now I kinda feel sorry for you because you are stupid. Don’t worry you’re not alone. This world is full of stupid people and they are breeding at record pace. More on that in a future blog, but for today we will let the idiots on planet Earth be. If calling stupid people stupid offends you then you are going to have a rough time reading any of my blogs. I do not include people with real mental handicaps when I talk that way, in fact quite the opposite. I do include lazy when I use the term stupid. Off topic, but important I mention this story. A few years ago while spending time with my nephews I made a comment using the term ‘retarded” and it didn’t compute that I said anything wrong until my eight year old nephew called me out. He said “It isn’t their fault they are special in that way so we don’t use words like that.” He was absolutely right and I’m happy he called me out. Funny where and who we can learn from if we simply shut up and listen sometimes.
So back to the topic of the day. Asking for help. I suck at it. I will be the first one in line to help a stranger, friend, or even some of my family. I understand that it is a necessary thing to do to make it thru life successfully and learning to ask for help is a skill just like everything else we do. Knowing how and when to ask is the key. I have gotten better at this mainly because I’m getting older and the wheelchair limits what I can do. My personal stupidity is endless when it comes to this.
I once heard another person in a wheelchair talk about flipping their mattress. I have no idea what size mattress he mentioned, if it was a pillow top, or really anything else about the situation. I just knew if that gentleman (I wanted to say fucking guy, but my Mom said I have to stop cursing in my blog so if curse words offend you please don’t read this line) could do it then so could I. I can do anything and I truly believe that every single day of my life. The very next day I decided to flip my Queen sized double pillow top mattress because I’m a guy and we are born to do dumb shit like this.
I was living in a one bedroom apartment in Solana Beach, CA at the time of this mattress flipping awesomeness. I just did what you would think. I started picking one corner of the mattress, just kept lifting scooting my head and shoulder along trying to get the whole mattress vertical so it would flip. I’m not going to lie (if I was going to lie I would just say I didn’t do this) at one point I was thinking there is absolutely no chance of this ending well, but I was committed and that other gentleman did it so obviously I can to. It was looking like success was about to be mine until well, it wasn’t.
The mattress pretty much pushed me and the chair right over, it landed on top of me in such a way that I was pinned between the mattress, my dresser, and a wall. I was screwed. Now this would be bad, but we all know FknBucky doesn’t screw up a little bit, I screw up a lot a bit when it is my turn for stupid. I settled into my new position of locked on the floor with a big ass mattress on top of me which by the way was also pinned under the bed frame at this time so I couldn’t just slide it off. It needed to be lifted about 3’ in the air, but I have height issues when laying on the ground paralyzed from the chest down. This is when I also noticed my lamp that was of course on rocking and falling down onto the mattress. Light bulbs are hot so that was not good.
I laid there thinking “Wow, I am a dumbass.” I couldn’t move as my chair was pinned in somehow as well and the whole situation got so bad so quickly I was actually in awe at how bad I fucked up. Sorry Mom. I guess it was not my day to burn up in a mattress accident that was my own doing because a girl I was seeing at the time happened to stop by. She was screaming in the door “are you home??” And I debated for a few moments if I really needed help out of this one. I guarantee you I looked for any way to handle the situation on my own, but ended up yelling “I’m in here.”
The look on her face when she came into the bedroom at the carnage in front of her was priceless. Had she not come along this could be a much sadder lesson about asking for help. I have a friend now this week that happened to stop by my life and give me the help she knew I needed simply because I was too stubborn to ask. I’ve been blessed in life with great friends, but I always say you have to be a friend to have them. I take friendship seriously as none of us can do it alone all of the time. Two big lessons today. One ask for help when you need it and two make sure you offer it genuinely without expecting something in return to those you care about.
Okay fine there is a third lesson here. Don’t try to flip your mattress because some random guy at a bar said he could do his with a lamp on. The only problem was that darn lamp……
Do kind things for others every day and thank you Moonbeam.
FknBucky 