Posts Tagged ‘suck

30
Jun
24

Same Caramel Different Day

ZERO fat???? I asked. “Yes” was the reply. I had just mixed up my scrambled eggs up with butter, bacon, and love. I didn’t even get one bite when the doctor came in and looked at my kidney drain. Not one bite. The drain was cloudy. Cloudy is bad.

I

If I wanted to go home I had to commit to a zero fat diet for two weeks. Not idea what that entailed, but what the heck, I wanted to sleep in my own bed so I agreed. How hard could it be?? Turns out there is fat in Häagen Dazs. The world hates me is my only conclusion. All the things I love have fat in them.

My sister helped clear out the bad and shopped for the healthy before she picked me up to take me back to the apartment. I’m lucky to have a great group of family and friends. I spent yesterday cleaning and organizing my bedroom. You see the last five plus years have been insanely hard on me due to this darn infection, but I couldn’t see it. My energy went down, my pain went up, and life in general slowly began to downgrade allowing my world to descend into chaos. Fancy way to say my home is a mess.

While organizing and cleaning my bedroom I found something the sister missed. A large piece of caramel I bought a few days ago while at the the mall. You know the candy store by the door with insanely yummy everything.. I loaded up before surgery thinking if things go bad my corpse will be full of chocolate goodness. I lived so I was a man with way too much sugar in his system and a leftover caramel in his bedroom.

My first thought was I’m eating this M Eff’er right now. Then I remembered who I am. FknBucky? Nope. Bucky? Nope. Allen? Nope. I am a man of character and self discipline. I haven’t always won every battle in my life, but I’m not losing this one. I take a bite and it will taste amazing. After 57 hours of ZERO fat I’ve earned a little yummy. Bull$h!t. The goal to reach is two weeks.

I take that bite and all I’ll taste is guilt and failure. I’ve done that before and learned that lesson. Not this time. My character isn’t for sale. I will wait two weeks and that bite will be one of power and satisfaction. That little caramel bite will give me strength for the next battle that will surely come.

We all have it in us. Wait it out.

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

This meme just made me laugh.

11
Mar
21

TV people suck.

These people are not real life. They are a bunch of over paid blank-heads that make money telling you how to think. Don’t fall it. They sit on top of their fake thrones pointing out the errors of everyone else while on TV for 12 minutes a day. Most of these elite somethingHOLES can’t find a true thought inside of their own head if you offered to double their salary. They say what they think people want to hear or what the media werewolves will let them get away with. Heaven forbid you have an original thought and decide to voice it. The PC police have serious power right now, but you’re too lazy/stupid to notice how it might be a problem. We will deserve the world we create. It isn’t funny that China/Russia/North Korea doesn’t have to do a damn thing. You’re willing to vote all your rights away simply because someone gets offended every 10 seconds.

Here is an actual thought for your over inflated self importance head. These offended, angry, and cancel everything mobs are NEVER going to stop. If they even take a pause they become irrelevant. They are a flesh eating bacteria of society. Every day they have keep eating, taking, and hating because whatever happened yesterday can’t scratch the itch today. Want to know how it stops?? Stand up to stupid. Say blank off when they come at you with this BS. I’m trying real hard to not leave the curse words. I’m editing them out, but you know my 4 letter words were flying out this AM. Maybe I’ll be canceled before I get started. Here is a ginormous thought that might hurt your tiny always offended mind. You can disagree with your friends. In fact it is healthy to do so. Your mind is a muscle and unless you use it, it will grow weaker. Sitting around a bunch of people that agree with everything you say makes you lazy and eventually stupid.

This is what happens with these TV people. They are their own little circle and if you step out of circle the firing squad is circular. They will all trample their own children running to a camera to be the first to call you a racist, homophobe, misogynist, or any other label they think will get them brownie points with the other morons on TV. They are just stopping people who say mean things Bucky. Really who gets to decide what we hate today??? Why don’t you goggle societies that canceled people, banned books, and stop people from being able to say whatever the heck they want. You want to put a pillow case over your head and scream about how much you hate people that look different than you?? Knock yourself out. I support your right to say whatever you want. I don’t have to listen to it. I am certainly not going to allow you to say it standing on my property, but I will defend your right to say it to the death.

Free speech means FREE SPEECH. Not sometimes free as long as I agree with everything you might say. We allowed a sitting president to be censored overnight and people cheered it. You allowed your personal feelings to control your actions while TV people backed up you up. Let’s go burn some witches cause that was agreed upon as well so it must have been the right thing to do. You’re an idiot, you’re a self entitled jerk, and you truly think your fellow Americans are complete buffoons that can’t be allowed real freedom because they are too stupid. Not worried?? If they can do that to the President (the office, not the man) imagine what they could do to you?? Me?? Any other person you care about. Trump is gone, but they won’t stop, they can’t stop. Don’t worry morons, random talking person on TV will let you know what you can believe and say to become a good little robot/citizen. Don’t rock the boat or you’ll be thrown overboard. To that I say “I’m fat and I float.” If you pansy asses can lift my fat ass then anchors away baby!! I don’t want to ride in your floating hellhole of intolerance, greed, and self righteous BS.

I disagree Bucky. White Supremacy is wrong. No shit. If it was a multiple choice question it would look like this:

White Supremacy is ______?

A. Wrong

Yep only one answer for that one. I wish it would go away and maybe someday it will be gone, but in the meantime as an American you’re free to be the biggest idiot in the world. You’re also free to disagree, not listen, and spend your Saturday across the street from his/her house with a sign that says White Power is bad. Defending someone’s right to say something does not equal you agreeing with the filth that may come out of their mouth. Remember this though – You don’t change peoples hearts by passing laws, canceling them, or by trying to “out hate” them. You want to change someones heart?? Go give them a hug and tell them you love them. Sit down and have a real conversation so they can see exactly how stupid their ignorant thoughts really are. The cancel culture will never tell you how to actually change things because they NEED you to hate or they no longer exist. For once in your lazy thinking life take a step back and look at the whole picture.

This Meghan broad has me all twisted up. I mean come on. Let’s take a quick look. Famous actress – Check; rich with money – Check; Marry a real life prince and become an actual princess – Check; and lets not forget cry to all TV people about how awful your life is. She just wants to be left alone Bucky. BS. You don’t marry the Prince of England if you want to stay out of the spotlight. How does anyone fall for this crap?? Someone (can’t say who) made a comment about what shade the baby might be. Cry me a river. In my family we would place bets on stuff like this. Think about how does this end?? You just went on TV telling billions that your in-laws are monsters.

That is not a good way to get invited back for Christmas dinner. We all know to go and sit down with baby shade guy/gal and have a conversation explaining why that is offensive to you is obviously not the right answer. Nope can’t get sympathy poor me points doing the intelligent thing, no freaking way are you going to miss the opportunity to tell Oprah how mean the world is to you. I hate this chick. She sucks. Talk about missing the mark completely. She had the opportunity to do so much being a person of color that just married into the British Royal Family, but actually fixing things doesn’t get the spotlight on you. I guarantee deep down Harry is like “Son of A…”, how did I get wrapped into this crap sandwich??

This is the best example of what I talk about almost daily. You can choose how you react to things in life. You can look for ways to be happy just as easily as you can find things to be angry, offended, and miserable about. No way Meghan was actually suicidal. She still has drug and alcohol abuse sympathy points to get (3-5 yrs from now) and lets not forget the divorce of the century in 8.3 years. You heard it here first. She has hit the lottery in life and this is how she reacts to it?? If this royal treatment is so difficult give it all up and work double shifts at IHOP to make ends meet. Guarantee that doesn’t happen.

So be kind to everyone. Definitely be kind to those you disagree with. No one can argue with kindness. Remember you aren’t doing it for them, you treat people with kindness for what it says about you as a person. Your character is more important than allowing yourself to be dragged down in the gutter arguing with people who don’t think like you. No you hold out a hand offering to pull them out of the mud and join you. It won’t happen overnight but eventually the gutter people will take notice and think I want to be up there with that kind SOB. Looks nice up there in no hate land.

Enjoy your life and spend time everyday helping others learn to enjoy their lives. And STOP letting the TV tell you how to think.

FknBucky

26
Feb
21

Lesson Time

The last couple days tested me to see if I would break, but we all know that isn’t happening. Not now, not ever. I don’t get bothered by being knocked down. It will never stop happening so why let it get to you??? To many of us have forgotten how important that lesson is for ourselves AND for the leaders of tomorrow. Our kids need to be knocked down. Sometimes two days in a row. Learning to handle life when it isn’t going your way is one of the most important lessons adults can give to kids. When you have the strength to say “Not today”, I’m not going to let some BS get to me today the world changes. It becomes less scary. You know that no matter what happens you are going to handle it.

Once I get past the “mother F**#^&$R, God DS&^$, Son of a B*#^$ moments on the floor I do what it takes to get back up. I believe I needed to learn that lesson or at least remind myself that we don’t get to pick when “hard times” come. We can only react to it. Luckily we have 100% control on how we react to the hard. What is your reaction?? Do you even know?? Has someone loved you enough to let you fall two days in a row and figure it out on your own??? I sure hope so. You simply have to accept that things happen in life. Sometimes those things are two days in a row and it sucks, but you have to rise above the suck or like a T-Shirt I have seen before “Embrace the Suck.”

I have the strength to forget portions of things. There is just something about me that has always understood that the lesson is important so learn it, keep it, file it, but let the rest of the BS go. Drop it like an old pair of shoes. Later. There was a day back when I was snowboarding that I won’t ever forget. I may have shared this story before, but here it is again. This guy from Chicago who was very charismatic was in the snowboard shop. All the employees (about 5-6) were gathered around him during slow time laughing. He was most likely in his 50’s, but cool. I wasn’t in the group yet but noticed a group of people laughing and I was going join that. I walked up saying something cause that is what I do and this gentleman looked me up and down. The group stopped and it was just him staring at me. Then he said “F*ck you.” I cocked my head like Annabel does when she is trying to understand me. I thought I have to fight this old man?? I hope he took multi-vitamin because IA/WI was about to be represented proper. He repeated it adding “F*ck you, You’re that guy.”

Now I’m curious. Smiling at him I’m like what?? He said ”You’re that guy. No matter what happens you are always okay.” I just went from expecting an ass kicking cause if you have ever been in a real fight you know better than to fight “old men”. They are meaner than your dumbass. A young buck like myself had to worry about looking cool, but old men don’t give a F about looking cool. They will hit you with a board, walk away slowly sipping their coffee, and probably buy you a beer later unless you’re a super d-bag. Don’t fight old men. Okay, but now I’m trying to understand what he meant. The whole group was looking at me when he repeated it. He said “No matter what happens, you’re always okay.” I couldn’t argue the point. He was right. How he could see that so quickly has always been a mystery to me. I had self confidence for days so maybe that?? It stuck with me and I’ve drawn strength from those words a complete stranger said to me many many times. I would love to see him again. Let me know if you run into him. He was a tall black man from Chicago that told funny jokes. There that should narrow it down.

I had way different ideas for blogs this week, but sometimes a different message demands to be shared. I can only assume someone that reads this blog needed to hear about me falling two days in a row only to get right back up smiling two days in a row. The smashed screen on my IPad is a bummer, but it is a thing and I promise you there is NOT one possession I have that if taken away will ruin my day. Ef that. I will never let any worldly possession be that important to me. Try it. It is liberating. Of course I’ll be bummed as some things are cool, but it is only stuff. Memories and friendships. That is where you put ALL of your focus and you’ll have a very fulfilling life. Feel free to donate on my non-existent Go Fund Me Page so I can buy a new IPAD.

ACTUALLY I do know of a person in need right now of some help. I will put the link below. Every dollar is important so please help if you can.

If you can’t help financially please simply share it. The more people that see it, the more help we can do. EVERY dollar helps so no donation is too small. This is a person who’s living situation has become very difficult. The only bathroom is upstairs and do to the progression of his CP he is no longer able to climb the stairs. Take a moment and imagine that. Thousands if not millions of people overcome insane obstacles to simply survive, and you’re crying about what exactly??? Don’t worry there is no my problems are bigger than yours competition, but sometimes understanding what others go thru can help give us strength to tackle our own problems.

I feel good this AM and don’t worry I’m so paranoid about falling again that I’ve rearranged my living room. Probably should have done that after the first fall, but I assumed that was a fluke. Now I know that lightening will strike twice in the world of FknBucky so I had better be ready for it. So remember just because something hard happened to you yesterday doesn’t make you immune to it today. When it happens you have to take a moment for anger, shame, and sadness, but then move on. That poor me baggage will weigh YOU down. No one else. Personally I’m going to look for extra ways to spread kindness today. It will make me feel awesome knowing that I took the energy from falling and passed it on as a positive for someone. I could easily use that energy and snap at someone else to make them feel like crap. If I’m hurt then someone else should be too. That is a stupid thing to do so don’t do it.

Take a breath, take a moment, and then do something kind for anyone expecting nothing in return. The expecting nothing IS the most important part. Do kind things because it is the right thing to do and builds positive character in you. You can’t buy positive character no matter how much money you have, but you can earn it every single day for free.

Happy Friday

FknBucky

25
Feb
21

Round 2 Un-flippin-believable.

I think I have to stop writing. The world is just not working for me. I can’t make this stuff up and honestly who would want to. This day has been going awesome. I got a ton of work done this AM, had a fantastic Yoga session with Moonbeam (greatest yoga/life coach ever), and ate healthy all day cause FknBucky needs to lose some FknWeight. Yesterday I took a pretty hard fall which happens but not that often. It sucked and I had to let go of the anger immediately or I would be pissed off all day. Wow that is strong Bucky. Yep, not easy, but very necessary to live a happy life.

I have no idea why as my spasms are usually much more manageable in the afternoon, but today like a rogue wave in the Bering Sea my legs decided Ef You Bucky and went for it again. Luckily I went over backwards this time so I could use the back of my head on the concrete floor to soften my fall. Yeah that will and did leave a mark. I can only assume it happened again so I can write it up for you to read. I just don’t understand sometimes why everything has to go to level 10 with me. It is always that way and I just accept it, but damn some days it just plain sucks.

Luckily the screen on my IPAD PRO got smashed this time. Having nice things is weird to me so thankfully it is now cracked and broken. Not just the screen protector, but deep down the screen is dust. Keeping my awesome lucky streak alive I called around to see about getting my IPAD repaired and it will be at least $650. $650 I didn’t need to spend 15 minutes ago. Thanks leg spasms. You’re the best at making sure I never get ahead. This sucks a lot, but hey this is FknBucky and we make sure shit is really jacked up when we screw up. The screen and parts needed are indefinitely back ordered, my warranty time with Apple Care is past, and my only option is to buy a new IPAD. To replace this one with the same features is going to cost me $1,500 that again I didn’t have to spend 20 minutes ago. If I try to give myself the “let it go” speech right now there is a good chance I’ll beat myself to death with my broken IPad.

That isn’t true. I am literally allowing the anger and frustration melt away thru this keyboard right now. I haven’t fallen in a while so to have it happen two days in a row is baffling, but I can’t change it. Crying about it and feeling sorry for myself isn’t going to make it all better or allow me to go back in time and stop it from happening. I remind myself that it is only money. The bump on the back of my head could have been worse as a lot of people hit their heads and don’t wake up. I am refusing to let this ruin my day. I did plan to meet a friend at the dog bar, but I backed out of that plan simply because I need to shower and I’m not ready for the carnage that goes on there.

Whatever it is in your life I promise you can overcome it. No matter how badly you want to stay mad at that person you need to just let it go. That anger is robbing you of precious time not the person you are mad at. I am not going to let my leg spasms take control of my emotions and let them waste my time. There is no difference in what I should do today from yesterday. Letting it go immediately yesterday was the right thing to do and it is the right thing to do now. But it is two days in a row Bucky. Yep it sure was and that sucks. Giving more energy and time to the “fall” will not change a thing.

If letting go was easy I wouldn’t need to write a blog about it. I will get a new screen or IPad finding the money somewhere. Who really needs two kidneys? I mean really I’m just being greedy having a spare around. I’m sure after all the drinking and drugs I did in my past I can get $30-40 bucks for the left one. The right one and I go way back, we actually dated the same girl back in the day. There is a history there. Here is the end all deal. I will figure it out. I always do and today will be no different.

So let my fall be your teacher. Letting go is a skill and one that you have to practice or it doesn’t work.

I am going to tie myself down tomorrow as enough is enough. For the record I had a great blog idea before this happened. Guess it will have to wait for tomorrow.

Be kind to others.

FknBucky




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