Posts Tagged ‘tragedy

25
Nov
21

45 Seconds

Justice for Ryan Cooper. No one will forget him and we will search for the person/persons responsible forever. The truth will come out and you will be held accountable.

When I write these blogs I have a thought in my head that I can only get out by putting the words down on paper. I think about things constantly as the world around me changes I analyze everything in real time deciding how I feel about it. This is just the way I’m wired I guess and it isn’t changing at this point. The reason I say that is because yesterday was a roller coaster of emotion on my 8-9 hour drive to Alabama to spend Thanksgiving with my brothers family. I lived here for a good amount of time before I moved to Charlotte so quite of people in this small community know me as the better looking, smarter, definitely more intelligent brother.

I witnessed a semi truck drive over a car in Atlanta. I was on the phone with a business, when 2 lanes over (6 lanes at this point) a car tried to drive under a semi and was driven over. My immediate response was ”Oh My God” and I’m quite certain people lost their lives. It looked really bad, my heart broke for those involved, and I thought of their families getting ready for a fun holiday tomorrow/today with family only to have it become a tragedy. I drive A LOT. More than any of my friends. I’ve driven from Coast to Coast and from Canada to Mexico at least a dozen times. I am baffled by the horrible driving I witness daily.

Two hours after witnessing this accident I was caught up in traffic slowing to a stop and for the most part doing 5-10 mph for over 30 minutes. I finally got up to where the accident was only to see it was on the Northbound side of the Freeway. The only reason I was in stop and go traffic for 30 minutes was because looky-loos had to slow down and look at the crap sandwich on the other side of the freeway. I made a very sweet video about my feelings during this situation. If cursing offends you please don’t watch it. I believe in the 33 second video only 2 words are not cuss words. It is mostly for shock value and I hoped it would give my friends a laugh.

I made it to the exit in Southern Alabama and was only about 7 minutes from my LA (Lower Alabama) home. I pulled up to a very familiar intersection where lots of flashing lights were going on as the fire department was out directing traffic and not letting people turn left. I was going right at this T intersection, but still rolled down my window to confirm that was okay. I asked ”Can I go right??” and got this response from a sassy firewoman ”I don’t know, can you???”.

Clearly she knew who I was. FknBucky is famous. Thought you knew. I asked if my not as good looking as me brother was at the accident and she replied ”yes”. I asked if it was bad and she again said ”yes”. Little Brother has been on the volunteer fire department for almost a decade now and has seen a lot of bad things. Being this close to the freeway he has seen things most of us pray daily we will never have to witness. This part of the blog is going to be hard to read. People need to understand the consequences of doing stupid crap in a car.

The driver of the car thought it would be a good idea to pass other cars on this two lane highway. Accelerating to well over the speed limit the driver pulled out in the oncoming traffic lane and started to pass other drivers. I know this stretch of road and there is a town in about 10 miles. Even if they could do 80 miles an hour the whole way a person maybe would arrive 45 seconds sooner, but I’ll let you judge if that 45 seconds was worth the gamble. What is the wager Bucky?? Well, if you win you arrive to the 25 mile an hour zone and stop light 45 seconds sooner than if you had just drove the speed limit. If you lose people in your vehicle die.

While passing the cars it is believed a car came at this car so to avoid a head on collision the driver had to swerve quickly back into the correct lane. When they did this at extremely unsafe speeds this driver drove straight into the back of another vehicle. The vehicle lost control, flipped and rolled, and got all kinds of smashed up before finally coming to a rest. There were very bad injuries to the people in that all vehicles involved. I know of a similar accident where all 4 teenagers in the car were decapitated. Easily avoidable incidents like this happen way to often. In fact a few years ago about a couple hundred yards from my brothers house a group of kids were going to fast, swerved to miss a dog, lost control of the vehicle when it hit a concrete power line pole, and two 15 year old kids died. I wrote about that in a blog the day after.

I would much rather write a blog about being thankful for all the good in your life today. The truth is you should be thankful for everything. Instead I’m awake at 4 AM with this on my mind making it impossible to sleep until I get this out of my head. Just slow down. I see cars everyday that weave from one lane to the next cutting people off, passing on the right, and just driving like an asshole only to take the next exit. If this is you – KNOCK it off. If you constantly gamble the lives of people in your car and the lives of people in cars around you it is only a matter of time that you will lose the bet.

Life is beautiful. It is a gift. It is fragile and NOT guaranteed. It could be over too soon, but gambling your life on the way to Walmart is simply stupid. I write about this with a heavy heart, but if one person thinks about this blog, takes my advice to slow down, and not drive like an idiot it will be worth it. Please share this message with people you care about. The families of all the people involved in the accidents yesterday should be having a great day cooking a turkey today. Instead they are in shock, heartbroken, and possibly planning a funeral. 45 eff’ing Seconds…….

FknBucky

READ * THINK * LIVE FREE

Please take a moment to thank the volunteer Firemen/Firewomen and the volunteer Ambulance folks. They see things no one should have to witness and give their time to take care of others.

20
Jun
21

Loss of a Brother

I’m trying not to puke or punch someone in the face. That is the text back I got when I asked someone about Ryan. I like everyone else am in complete disbelief. Never in a million years would I have thought something like this could happen. Not in Traer. Worst thing that usually happens is a bloody lip from a disagreement at a keg party. We are good old boys. Work hard play hard. Up at dawn, work all day, and then drink some Busch Light with the boys at night. Growing up, marriage, having kids and the responsibilities that come with those things takes away the beers with the boys time, but there is a brotherhood, a bond that gets created and once a member you are always a member. Time and distance do not cancel the membership.

Time goes by, stories get more colorful, the truth gets stretched a little further, our beer bellies get bigger each year, but the brotherhood never waivers. It doesn’t matter if I saw you last week or ten years ago we start up right where we left off. I chose to move away and haven’t lived in Traer for 20 years. Doesn’t matter I’m a lifetime member. Money can’t get you into this club, there is no leadership, and no real rules to follow except simply be a decent human. The biggest unwritten rule is when your friends come over to help you get a job done, you had better have plenty of Busch Light on ice in the cooler for when the tools get put away the beers start cracking open.

We lost a great brother the other night. I can’t think of a kinder man who could have been the face of our unofficial boys club. I met him long before I moved to Iowa. I remember he had a motorcycle when we were young and I thought that was so cool. Our Dads knew each other growing up so when we would visit Traer, we would sometimes stop at the Cooper farm. Dad and Jan would drink beer and reminisce while Ryan and I would stay under the radar doing what boys do. Cause a ruckus somewhere, but try not to get caught doing it.

Like all of us in life there are ups and downs. Ryan was not immune to the rollercoaster life, but he always had a smile and was a good friend to anyone that needed one. Like everyone else in Traer I’ve spent the last two days reliving the memories I have of him. I can’t remember a time where he was confrontational with anyone. He wasn’t weak but rather so easy going that there was never a need to embrace conflict. I’ve known a few people like this and it is special. I think that might this situation even harder to understand. How can someone so good at avoiding conflict have something like this happen in our small town?? The hardest part is knowing even if all the answers come it won’t bring our brother back. To say he will be missed is an extreme understatement.

We haven’t kept in touch the last few years, but for a while there we did SnapChat back and forth. Getting Snapchat’s from the cab of his semi truck while he hauled cattle always made me laugh. Ryan was blessed growing up in a family with a solid business helping keep them financially secure, but you wouldn’t know that to talk with him. He never presented himself better than anyone else and worked just as hard as the rest of the crew. I admired that quality as I’ve met plenty of men that sit back counting Daddy’s money as if they accomplished something.

I know that the Traer community along with the unofficial brotherhood there will step up and help his family get thru this. I can’t fathom what they must be going thru at this time. As my friend in the beginning of this blog said “I’m trying not to be sick” as this situation leaves me lost on what to do. I’ve traveled more than most, made friends from all over the globe, and appreciate them all. The bond that one makes with friends growing up is the strongest friendship bond there is. I’m no stranger to tragedy, but this one is so unnecessary and sudden that it is incredibly hard to accept.

Ryan Cooper will always be a member of the Busch Light Brotherhood (I know how cheesy that sounds, but I had to call it something) in Traer, Iowa. He will never be forgotten and the character I knew him to have will be honored. My heart is completely broken when I think of his boys having to continue growing up with only memories of their Dad. I know there are plenty of good men in Traer that will make sure they understand how great of a man their Dad was. It is times like this that I really dislike living so far from home, but my feelings of sadness and anger with this situation are like I never left. It hurts my heart and it sucks. Things like this aren’t supposed to happen to us. This is something you see in the news happening somewhere far away.

I know the community there will rise up to help his family because that is what small town Iowa does. My thoughts and prayers are with his family. I truly hope they get some answers and over time have some closure. There is no map to follow in a situation like this. You just have to get up everyday, do the best you can, and honor your loved one by living your best life. I have trouble expressing emotions in my real life, but I’ve found I can vent things out with writing. I’m so so so sorry this happened and my heart breaks for the entire Cooper family. The loss of a husband/life partner, a father, son, brother, and friend is such a tragedy. No one should have to go thru what they are, but the strength of that small Iowa farm town and the brotherhood Ryan was a member of will be there to help every step of the way.

RIP Ryan. You will never be forgotten and the memories we have of you will live on forever.

Tell people you care about “you love them” everyday. It is important. Don’t wait to chase your dreams.

WIth a very heavy broken heart,

FknBucky

14
Dec
15

One Kiss

FAMOUS_ALFRED_EISENSTAEDT_S_PICTURE_DURING_V_J_DAY_IN_TIMES_SQUAREIt’s 3:15 in the morning and I can’t sleep.  Maybe I should stop drinking this Red Bull, but then making good decisions has never been something I do.  Sleep is for the dead I say, and the extremely hung over which I am not today.  First time for everything.

I worked late on Friday and have had this person on my mind ever since.  Guess I’ll write about it and share this incredible story with the three people that read this.  I met a girl a while back thru my job that has a traumatic brain injury (TBI) and has a tough road ahead.  When you first meet her it is heartbreaking as she can’t speak, can’t move, and can’t much of anything.

She is young, beautiful, and is still an active duty United States soldier.  She was hurt serving this country and is paying a price for your freedom that you would have never known about unless I typed these words today.  Meeting her filled me with raw emotion, overwhelmed me with this powerful image, and to me she is an American hero.

The pictures on the wall tell a story of a gorgeous redhead that is full of life and always smiling. Her young daughter with the trademark red hair running around outside with a pack of 4 other kids and 3 dogs.  Quite a sight to see.  She is surrounded by one of the greatest families I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting and that is saying something.  I can’t stress enough how wonderful they all are, which is what it takes to work thru something so hard.

I’ve stopped by and met with the family multiple times now over the last 5 months and it is one of the best parts of my new job.  I work in sales and sell durable medical equipment that helps people like this young soldier.  I know how life changing it can be to find and use the right equipment when faced with challenges in life.  Her mother worked tirelessly with the VA to get the government to pay for certain items that will make a difference in her life.  There should be no red tape in a case like this, but that blog we will save for another day.  I can’t stress enough how impressive this family is.  Never give up should be their last name.

So while you are complaining about the line being to long at Starbucks, the traffic on the way to the office, or what a certain politician said about something remember that the struggle is very real for some. Everyday they wake up to the same hard shit, put on a smile, and do what needs to be done because that is what being American is about.  At least in my humble opinion.

So on Friday evening I was there with the family, a nurse, and this young lady helping them pick out a new shower chair that will makes things easier. This is when I witnessed something astonishing.  This young ladies mother told me I had to watch her give a kiss.  I thought to myself how can she give a kiss??  I sat there watching with my doubts clearly hidden inside of me, and that is when it happened.

Mom leaned over and this United States soldier with an incredible amount of effort slowly gave her mother a kiss on the cheek.  Something you’ve done a thousand times and most likely don’t give it a second thought. Amazed, blown away, remarkable or any other adjectives I can think of simply don’t do enough to describe this moment in my life.  Her head didn’t move, her arms didn’t come up, but her lips unmistakably came together and kissed her mother. It was the most beautiful kiss I have ever witnessed and I can’t imagine anything ever topping it.  I even had these strange puddles form in my eyes that I’ve never experienced before.

I never thought I could be so moved by a simple kiss on the cheek, but it is an image I knew instantly that I would never forget and now I wanted to share it with you.  Life is hard and for some it is extremely hard, but just remember somewhere out there somebody has it tougher and they are not quitting, bitching, or crying all day about why me.  Your problems are yours, own them, and then solve them.  If you’re a good person you will have plenty of people around that will gladly help you. If you’re not a good person, you’ve just identified your first problem to solve.

So thank a soldier, an airman, a Marine, a sailor and hell thank everyone around you for being alive today.  It will make them feel good and you’ll be on your way to becoming a good person.

Godspeed to this young soldier and please keep her and the family in your thoughts and prayers.

FknBucky

16
Feb
15

Tragedy

Support them as you never know when you'll need them!!!  Thank you to all my friends and family that volunteer!!

Support them as you never know when you’ll need them!!! Thank you to all my friends and family that volunteer!!

I have this story that I want to get out, but not really sure how to start so I’ll just do as I always do. Write the first things that come to mind until I can get into it. Life is funny in how it all works out. One day I’m 15, I know everything, and then I wake up at 36 and realize I still don’t know shit. How does this happen?? I have no idea, but somehow all the “old” people in my life that tried to explain things to me when I was younger aren’t as stupid as I once thought.

You see the other night my younger brother and I were watching TV when his wife ran into the room and said “I think I just heard an accident.” We all just kind of looked at each other for a moment, but then sure enough his radio went off. He and his wife are on the volunteer fire department in Lower Alabama. She is a trauma nurse in Mobile and he works for a funeral home. Good person to know if you have anger issues.

The radio said a car was in the ditch and my brother left. The accident was only about a quarter mile from us on the highway that runs in front of his house. This is where things get serious and why I had trouble figuring out how to write this out. You see there were four kids in the car that wrecked and they were just out having fun like all of us did many many times before.

There was 2 girls and 2 guys in the car with a boy about 24 years old driving. They cruised by my brothers house and might have been going a bit faster than the posted speed limit, but who isn’t guilty of that. A dog was in the middle of the road and the driver of the car decided to swerve and miss the dog at the last second. This is something that you should never do. Hit the dog. Any of you that know me know I love my dog like a child, but if she was standing in the road and you can’t stop in time, you have to hit the dog. Swerving leads to much worse consequences. In this true story though the driver swerved and lost control. He went left and then hard right ending up in a big grassy ditch.

The grass was wet and no real traction to be had there. This isn’t a movie or a video game. It is real life and shit happens very fast without a warning. That is why you need to pound certain things into your kids heads while you have the chance and pray that they listen. I never listened and I think back wondering how in the hell did I survive?? I never wore my seatbelt and always said “I don’t want live if I’m all messed up.” How ironic is that?? Well this car could not control where it was going and hit a very large cement telephone pole. These poles do not give and the car stopped immediately.

The driver hurt his arm a bit, but was able to get out of the car. My brother showed up a few moments after it happened and described it to me later. The girl that was in the front passenger seat was not wearing her seatbelt. She was ejected from the car through the windshield. He checked her pulse immediately and could not detect one. This is when he got on the radio and said they may need a flight for life helicopter and there might possible fatalities so others coming to the scene would know what to expect. In other words things are very bad. Everyone hurry up. My sister in-law handed me their new baby and raced out of the house knowing she was needed on scene. The boy in the back seat had severe head trauma and was not able to comprehend what was going on.

The girl in the back seat was injured, but not life threatening. I had a very sick feeling while I was holding the baby and waiting for news on what was going on at the accident. The girl who had been thrown from the car started to gasp for breath a few moments after not having a pulse and my brother was there to help her until paramedics arrived. Being in that situation is awful enough, but to be there alone would be much worse. Please remember to support your local volunteers as they are regular people that can instantly be put into very hard positions. The girl was 17, smart, well liked in school and the community, and only guilty of not wearing a seatbelt. She did not live. Her last name was McKinley although no relation to my brother or I.

The boy in the back seat was her boyfriend for the last 2 years and was 16. He was not wearing a seatbelt and after some time passed with the volunteer firemen using the Jaws of life to get him out, he was on his way to the hospital. He and his girlfriend spent 2 hours fighting for their lives. Both of them passed away. There was no alcohol in the car or in anyones system. They were simply out riding around and swerved to miss that dog which cost them their lives. It bothered me greatly as I pass by that pole everyday and if they had been 5 feet to either side they would have missed it, hit some small trees/shrubs, and hopefully have lived to tell about it later.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to write about this, but I felt like I had to. First to get it out of my head as it is the only way I know how, also to help you start the conversation about wearing seat belts, and teach those you love to not swerve their cars. Real life has real consequences and I felt truly sick thinking about those poor parents that were going to be woken up at 2 AM to be told the one thing every parent fears the most. Lives were ruined in a split second. It is truly a tragedy. The boy who was driving the car is in real bad sorts. He can’t get over the fact he was the one driving and if he doesn’t it will certainly kill him as well.

http://www.al.com/news/mobile/index.ssf/2015/01/teen_couple_killed_in_fatal_ca.html

I can’t pretend to know what its like to be in his shoes, but I pray he finds a way to deal with the demons. It was simply an accident and sometimes the only reason is there is no reason. Have the conversation with your loved ones and make sure they understand that seat belts matter, swerving is not your first option, and speed limits are there for the things you don’t see. If you are driving a car make sure everyone buckles up as it is you that will “feel” responsible regardless. Driving fast seems easy when the roads are clear, but when the unknown happens YOU CAN’T STOP. And most importantly tell those around you that you love them every chance you get. It makes you and them feel better unless you’re on a first date. That can make dessert awkward.

Fknbucky




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