Posts Tagged ‘try

23
Jan
25

Try Again

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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A quickie for you today. Just in time for lunch so we can even call it a Nooner. Ahhh my juvenile sense of humor knows no bounds and if you can’t smile a bit at some nonsense you’re doing life wrong. I have an amazing dog named Annabel for those of you that live in a cave and never read FknBucky or listen to the podcast. She is a border collie and simply awesome. She picks things up for me and fetches pretty much anything I ask her too including my phone, wallet, and keys when I drop them or can’t find them. I’m proud of that actually, it took a lot of work and patience, but I’m not afraid of work and have no patience. Yeah I meant to say it like that.

If this is a quickie get to the point Bucky. Okay, good call. My border collie has energy forever. Never tired. We play frisbee for 1.5-3 hours a day. Every freaking day. It is challenging sometimes, but I always think, there will be a day when I will wish for just one more frisbee session and on that day I’ll smile knowing I made the most of every single day I had. Okay back on point. Annie will try to play like 50 times a day. If I roll away from my desk for only a moment she takes her shot and runs to me with a ball, toy, or frisbee almost instantly. When I wake up the first thing I see is a tennis ball in my face with hopeful eyes saying “Let’s eff’ing GO!”

47 times a day I say “no, not now, get off me, can’t you see I’m working!” Sounds rough huh? Reality is I can’t play fetch 24/7 even if I wanted to. Doesn’t stop her from trying. Somedays I only say no 42 times meaning she gets 8 play sessions. She gets 2 no matter what everyday day in case you wondered. Sometimes I’ll play for 2-3 min and then stop, but this is harder because it gets her all riled up only to tell her just kidding and I go back to work. You’d think this would deter her from asking so much. Nope.

She never stops trying. I envy it. No matter how many times I say no, she will continue to try again. Sometimes she will leave a tennis ball on the end of my bed and stare at it for hours while I’m working. I’ll finally cave and start throwing it out of sheer admiration. That type of commitment eventually must be rewarded. I think about this in my own life and when I hit a roadblock or get told no, I think “what would Annie do?” Lay down, take a break, lick herself a while, and then try again. I personally skip the 3rd one, but you be you.

That is just frisbee Bucky. So is everything. A $.04 deal is no different than a 4 million deal. Same everything. You just buy a bigger toy with your commission is the only difference. So relax. Enjoy the moment. Try. Then try again. Then try again. Guess what. Try again. Try again. Let the past failures go. Learn the lesson and then forget it. Think Annie thinks about the last 472 days I said “get out of my face” when I wake up or does she think “today is the day!”

Make today the day. Stop crying about the past. Forget and do something new today. Try again.

FknBucky

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30
Jun
24

Same Caramel Different Day

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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ZERO fat???? I asked. “Yes” was the reply. I had just mixed up my scrambled eggs up with butter, bacon, and love. I didn’t even get one bite when the doctor came in and looked at my kidney drain. Not one bite. The drain was cloudy. Cloudy is bad.

I

If I wanted to go home I had to commit to a zero fat diet for two weeks. Not idea what that entailed, but what the heck, I wanted to sleep in my own bed so I agreed. How hard could it be?? Turns out there is fat in Häagen Dazs. The world hates me is my only conclusion. All the things I love have fat in them.

My sister helped clear out the bad and shopped for the healthy before she picked me up to take me back to the apartment. I’m lucky to have a great group of family and friends. I spent yesterday cleaning and organizing my bedroom. You see the last five plus years have been insanely hard on me due to this darn infection, but I couldn’t see it. My energy went down, my pain went up, and life in general slowly began to downgrade allowing my world to descend into chaos. Fancy way to say my home is a mess.

While organizing and cleaning my bedroom I found something the sister missed. A large piece of caramel I bought a few days ago while at the the mall. You know the candy store by the door with insanely yummy everything.. I loaded up before surgery thinking if things go bad my corpse will be full of chocolate goodness. I lived so I was a man with way too much sugar in his system and a leftover caramel in his bedroom.

My first thought was I’m eating this M Eff’er right now. Then I remembered who I am. FknBucky? Nope. Bucky? Nope. Allen? Nope. I am a man of character and self discipline. I haven’t always won every battle in my life, but I’m not losing this one. I take a bite and it will taste amazing. After 57 hours of ZERO fat I’ve earned a little yummy. Bull$h!t. The goal to reach is two weeks.

I take that bite and all I’ll taste is guilt and failure. I’ve done that before and learned that lesson. Not this time. My character isn’t for sale. I will wait two weeks and that bite will be one of power and satisfaction. That little caramel bite will give me strength for the next battle that will surely come.

We all have it in us. Wait it out.

FknBucky

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This meme just made me laugh.

09
Aug
23

Hope

By Bucktown 2 Comments
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Time goes by so darn fast. A day here, a day there, a week, a month, and inevitably years.. I just like all of you allow myself to be fooled by the biggest genius I know. Me. If you don’t look up to yourself how can you expect anyone else to?? In this exact moment you still have time to change. I don’t know how much time you have, but as long as you’re alive there is always hope. Hope. Easy word to say, but sometimes when we need it the most, it becomes impossible to find. You look everywhere. In this spot and that spot, in this person and that person, ripping everything you know apart until you sit down out of breath and defeated. Funny and not funny, you had it the whole time. Inside of you. You simply forgot how turn it on.

How do I turn it on Bucky?? By believing in yourself. Confidence. Read the books. Take the classes. Find a mentor. Make yourself better. I write this “message” because I need to hear it. I need to be reminded. I haven’t posted in a long time. I’ve written a ton, but haven’t shared. I have to teach myself that I can get my point across in less than 1,200 words.

Turn your hope back on. Right now. Best way to create that spark is to give someone else hope. A hug. A compliment. A quick “I believe in you.” You are enough. The greatest thing about losing something is the fact you can find it.

FknBucky

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FknBucky the Podcast coming soon!! Listen in as I talk smack on EVERYONE, use the Bucky humor you know you love, and wrap it all up in a wisdom bow just for you.

01
Feb
23

Drop Mind Pollution

By Bucktown 2 Comments
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Here we go. I’ve been tryin to make time to blog all last week, but somehow I kept finding excuses to do something else. It is hard to write when I’m tired. Seems odd, but my mind needs to be sharp and awake. Not the Red Bull kind of awake, but simply analyzing data with speed and ease. I’m sure this is why I have wit and comebacks when talking with others because my brain is working overtime to get the words in, analyzed, and then making my response flow out on time and with the right feeling. Words are only part of the equation. The tone of your voice, the face you make while saying those comebacks, the position your body is in (little harder to do in a wheelchair), the smile must be just right, and finally the eyes. They have to be soft and not threatening when hitting someone hard with words. Calling someone stupid is mean. Calling them stupid with soft eyes and a slight smile is funny. A lot going on in the three seconds someone tries to talk smack with me.

I love it though. The challenge. Everything in my life is a competition and I hate losing. Well, that isn’t true. I hate losing because I failed to bring my best. If I bring it all whether it is a fight, conversation, sales meeting, or anything I want to be victorious. Otherwise why are you there?? If you don’t see yourself standing in the first place spot at the end of the day why are you playing??? Who trains for 2nd place?? Funny answer. Most of you do. You have allowed others opinions to pollute your mind which then makes deals with you. Only try a little bit today. That way when you come up short it won’t be hurtful and no one will make fun of you. To that I want to say this “Fuck you and the mind polluters you hang around!!” I know Mom no swearing, but that point has to cut deep.

My nephew is at some training right now. He finished boot camp and now he is doing some additional training that will get his body in shape to go do the actual thing he is planning to do in the military. I’m being vague because it is none of your business what he is doing exactly, but this story requires you to know he is doing it. When he does it that means he is doing something that we are proud of cause he does that thing we know he is doing. Sorry I had Kamala help me with this paragraph. She won’t make it at FknBucky so back to something she won’t need intelligence for. Lighten up Francis.

I was talking to the nephew the other day and he was describing the training he was doing. A lot of everything with no sleep is what it boiled down to. He told me a whole bunch of kids have already quit. They started with 160 and by last count they only had 104. 56 people quit before the end of week 3. I don’t get it. Why did they even go?? I guarantee everyone of them in the back of their head heard the voice before day 1 saying “you won’t make it.:” I killed that voice a long time ago. He has unlimited lives like playing video games with my 8 year old niece. She makes sure I have 99 lives while playing the Simpsons with her. If I go below 90 lives it is an emergency that she fixes very quickly. Where was I?? Oh yeah. Quitter voice. It gets easier to kill him the more you do it. Pretty soon you can just Plan B that prick.

I’m proud of the nephew and hearing the intense crap they were putting him through made me have a deep respect for what he is going to accomplish. He asked what I have been doing and I replied truthfully without thinking “I made a cherry pie.” It isn’t often I wish for words back. I’m such a pansy these days…. He says “I just did a 7 mile hike with a 50 lb pack on.”

I respond with “ Lame, I made a pie. From scratch.” Can’t eat a hike with ice cream. Here is the deal. He rocked that hike. There is no chance he will quit. Zero. I tell him every time we talk “you don’t have to be first, but you better out work every other person there.” Never stop trying. I can’t hike. I can make a pie and it will be the best darn pie in Charlotte.

We all have dreams. Chase them. Go for it. Stop worrying about failure. It only exists if you allow it. I try and if it doesn’t work, I analyze why, and then try again. I gain knowledge every time so it isn’t a failure, but another step up closer to my goal. If you are going to California from Ohio and one day you make it 800 miles, but the next you only make it 50. Is that a failure or are you closer to your goal. Fix the way your mind uses information and kick to moron out that is crying you only made it 50 miles. They will sit down and wait for some other idiot to pick them up. Unfortunately the world is full of idiots. It is easy to be one. You don’t have to be one though. You read FknBucky that is like making it 2,000 miles a day.

Funny I had a blog in my head about mentors and heroes, but my heart decided to write a different message. I want to write forever. I want millions to find inspiration and hope in my message. I’m not there yet, but in my mind I have been there since I wrote the first sentence on the first blog. Somedays I make great progress and others I make very little, but the fight continues. Quitting will never be an option. If it was that means I never actually started.

Whatever you want start now. Right now. Sign up for the online class. Research starting your own business. Go volunteer. Mend a broken friendship. Most importantly stop listening to people and voices that say “you can’t.” They are wrong. They are scared to try. They are nothing to you. Just start and you will see how quickly all those negative influences become a sentence in a paragraph somewhere that eventually gets edited out.

Love who you are today. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

FknBucky

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25
Jul
22

Squeeze those you Love

By Bucktown 4 Comments
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Been too long since I’ve posted a blog. I’ve got about 10 typed up, but get sidetracked and don’t finish them. I am kind of busy, but not as busy as I like to think. Regardless of what I do, I always feel like it isn’t enough. I can give more, volunteer more, work more, mentor more, and just about everything more. It is a good/bad thing. I don’t feel satisfied or fulfilled very often, but I’m also driven to push on and keep chasing my goals/dreams. Sometimes life has a way of hitting the “reset” button and reminding us that the only important thing is spending time with people you care about.

I moved to Charlotte 7 years ago. I knew no one in this city. Verno (great friend from high school) was 1 hr away, but in the city I was alone. The guy I replaced (job) took me around for training my first week. I was living in a hotel because I hadn’t found an apartment yet. This guy and I went for beers one night when his brother (Eddie) joined us. We clicked right away and I was no longer without a friend in Charlotte. That same week they had a birthday party (the group photo is from that day) and invited me so I ended up meeting a great group of guys that like to have some beers and laugh just like me.

Eddie and Ed

Getting to know these guys I call my Married Friends (cause they are all single) was awesome. We went on a tubing trip up in the mountains drinking a lot and floating down a river. I got to know Eddie’s best friend Ed. You read that right. Ed had the same sense of humor as me and we had plenty of bad jokes to go around. I was invited to come up for poker night and went. Nobody’s home was accessible and we had stairs to navigate on the way inside. No problem early in the night. After poker was a different story. My friend Ed insisted on being the guy to help me down the stairs. A few moments later Ed and I were spooning each other in the mud with my chair rolling down a hill somewhere. Ed was a bad wheelchair helper after drinking.

Fast forward to another poker night in a different house. We ate wings, drank beers and played cards. When it was time to leave Ed wanted redemption. You know me. Lets party. There were two stairs, not seven, this time so I thought lets do this. A few moments later Ed and I were cuddling on the garage floor. Maybe he liked spooning me and this was all on purpose…. I fell slow and wasn’t hurt so it was just funny. My man Ed didn’t want the others to see cause they would bust his balls for another 5 months just like last time. He was determined to get me back in my chair on his own.

I’m fat now. I weigh more than I look like. Ed grabbed me around the waist/belly and LIFTED with all he had. He also squeezed me so hard I shit myself. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that part of the story. Ed thought I farted and the look on his face was the same as if someone punched him in the nose. He got a good deep whiff of the Busch Light poop that he had just squeezed out of me. I thought well that is one way to make sure he doesn’t volunteer for chair duty again…

We lost Ed. He passed away a week ago. I’d given any amount of money to have him dump me onto the floor again. I just found out today. It isn’t fair. He worked hard. Took care of his wife. Was a great father to his young kids. At the beach on vacation he fell and passed away in front of his family. The thought of it breaks my heart. When you travel and meet people like I do, it becomes easy to identify good people that are fun to be around. It made no difference how long it was since we last hung out, the moment we started talking and giving each other crap all that went away.

Ed is the only man on Earth to literally squeeze the shit out of me. I’m sure he will be remembered as a great father, great husband, great son, and great friend, but for me he will be remembered for the poop squeeze. I am sure he would want it that way. This news was my reset button. Tomorrow is not guaranteed no matter who you are, how much stuff you have, how much money you have, or any other measurement you want to bring up. Treat the people you come in contact with like it could be the last time. Be remembered for laughing, helping, loving, caring, being genuine, or my new personal favorite be remembered for squeezing the shit out of a cripple. Something tells me Ed is a on short list with that one.

This photo was taken 5 minutes before he passed. Your time here in this life is not guaranteed.

There is a GoFundMe page, link below, for his widow and kids. Please give what you can. Everyone I know can give something unless you decide to ignore others that need help. To me that is a character thing. Do what is right. My hope is to remind the people lucky enough to know Ed of how fun and funny he was. The world was better with him in it, and I truly know it is a little less bright without him. That said the memories live on forever. He is in our hearts, he is in our stories, and because of this Ed will never be forgotten.

I have an opinion on losing great people too soon or just in general. To miss someone means you had to spend time with them, get to know them, and appreciate them. To grieve for a loved one means you had the pleasure of knowing them well. The harder we grieve simply means we loved them a lot and we are blessed to have so many great memories with that loved one. Without love there is no grieving. Be proud you recognized the greatness in Ed and he felt the love from you everyday. Your love and time are the greatest gift you can give to another human. That is right. Read it again. The best gift you can give is free. Cost zero dollars.

My love and prayers to his family. There are a lot of people that will miss him dearly. I hope all of them remember Ed with happy funny stories because that is what he was. A happy funny guy.

FknBucky

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https://www.gofundme.com/f/ed-studer-memorial-fundraiser

18
Oct
21

Leash or no Leash…

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Every blog I write from now until someone is convicted of murdering our brother Ryan Cooper will have this message at the top. Please contact the police if you saw or heard anything. There is a reward now, not that should make a difference, but to some it does. Have no fear of someone trying to keep you quiet as an army of Busch Light brothers are more than willing to protect you from some low life piece of shit murderer. Justice for Coop.

Monday night. Sometimes I watch the game, but no interest tonight. I’m actually just tired. I had a ton of things going on over the weekend so there was no down time. I go back and forth. I’m so busy blah blah, but when I take time to do nothing I feel bored and restless.. I assume many of you are the same way. As I lay in bed throwing that darn pink ball every three minutes I realize after all I’ve been thru in life, I am a ball thrower for my leader. I wish she could talk for a day to tell me exactly what she is thinking. Probably better she can’t. I used to tell people if Murphy could talk I would muzzle her. She knew where the bodies are buried.

Annabel is around 18 months now. She is a great friend and very smart. I enjoy getting to teach her things and see her do more and more. I don’t have kids so I guess this is what I have. I almost never use a leash anymore with her. She doesn’t need it. She knows not to go out into a street until I say okay. She will run ahead of me, but always waits right on the curb. It didn’t happen overnight and took a lot of work and patience. Every single time we would cross a road I make her sit down over time it sinks in that there is a danger and she does it without me telling her. There is a bunch of things like this I can list out, but maybe another day. I have a point I want to get to.

So tonight while playing frisbee with her I was thinking about the no leash thing. I’m sure I’m breaking a couple laws in Charlotte, but I make a point to break a few laws everyday just to make me feel young again. Annie is a different dog when I put the leash on her. It is like she becomes this dumbass dog that just wants to make me insane. Part of me thinks she does this to make me want to take the leash off. I don’t blame her as I’d hate to have one too. Leashes for people. Sounds crazy, but does it?? When Annabel is off the leash she has some skin in the game. She makes a mistake and wham the consequence could be death. I know this game. 20 years ago I made the mistake of getting on a motorcycle. Still paying for that one. Consequences are hard.

When she is free she gets to run fast, sniff what ever she wants, jump around, and be a fun happy dog. It does come at a price as she is now responsible for her own well being. I can watch her and scream if she is about to get on a motorcycle, but at the end of the day she has the power. Now she can give up that chance of death and being hurt by allowing me to control her. I can put her on a leash and she can never get more than 5’ from me. No danger, but no running ahead. No sniffing outside of the 5’ mark. We all have choices to make in life and even small choices can have long lasting consequences.

We tell people that we will take care of them. We will give you low rent housing. We will give you food money. We will teach your children what we want them to learn. You can have all of this, but you have to stay within the 5’ mark. Don’t go over there. There have been so many generations now that only know the leash. They have never smelled the air without the musty stench of the leash 3” away from their nose. They have never had the chance to try something, fail, try again, fail, try again, fail, try again, and fucking NAIL it. That is a feeling EVERYONE on Earth needs to have at least once. It is more addicting than any drug you can shoot up. They have no idea where to start because it is completely foreign to them.

Now before you go freaking out that I am a monster that doesn’t want to help people. First – I do more charity work, donate my time and money than anyone else I know. That is just a simple fact. Feel free to do more than me. I would welcome that with open arms. I don’t do it to be number 1, I do it because it needs to be done. It is that simple. Secondly there is no action in the world that happens without consequence. Ever. There is always something that comes from something else. I’m using small words because I think you are stupid. haha. When you give someone everything you think they need to survive, you take away that desire to be off leash. Not right away, but over time day in and day out, the drive to see what it is like to run ahead kind of disappears in a sad poof of nothing.

When you have kids that grow up watching you be on the leash your whole life, what do they learn?? Stay on the leash and don’t bite the hand. There is no self confidence in that leash. There is no brighter future in that leash. Just a simple existence that is neither dangerous or remarkable. It is just there.

This is how my brain works. I see things like this and then I wonder about them for a while until I move on to a new thing to ponder. Where do you want to be?? Off leash? On the leash and know about the free life, but choose the leash?? Or on that leash without the knowledge or even a taste of what the other side is. Sadly I think we have a massive growth in this category. People so checked out that they don’t even know what they are missing. They fail once, Mommy comes to dry the tears, and together they vow to never try something hard again.

Every single day you wake up you get to make the choice. Leash or no leash.

FknBucky

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24
Sep
21

What if vs when

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Another week comes to an end. Summer 2021 has come to an end. In a week we will be in the last quarter of this year. How does time go by so fast?? I do quite a bit of reflecting on my life. I don’t mean looking back with regrets, but looking back to see how much progress I’ve made on my goals for life. I only have one question for you. If not now, then when??? When will you start your own business, when are going to travel to the place you dream of, when are you going to talk with the cute girl at the office?? If you start looking at life with ”when” instead of “what if” you will find it to be more rewarding.

What if is what dreamers ask. They secretly wish this and that happened or will happen with no real plan. Days, months, and years go by without any tangible progress towards the ”what if” you keep saying to yourself. What if I move? What if I go back to school? What if I talk to her? What if I go out on my own? While asking yourself these questions can be useful, it can also lead to negative thinking that always finds a way of coming true. In life you ALWAYS get what you think about. Read the book ”The Secret” if you haven’t already. If you have read it again. The issue of asking “what if” is the answers you give yourself. If I move, I won’t have friends there, if I go back to school and fail, if I talk to her she might not like me, and if I start my own business and don’t make it????

The negative answers always come and now you have already been unsuccessful without doing a darn thing. Seems like a bad plan to make your life awesome. Change your way of thinking by simply using a different word. When I move I’ll have the opportunity to start with a clean slate and the reality is your friends aren’t going anywhere. When I go back to school I’ll be on my way to building my self confidence, learn new skills, and be on way to making more money doing something I love. When I talk with her I may find out she has been waiting on my dumbass to say hello. When I start my own business I can finally start to do things my way and stop making others money.

I started my own business 2 years ago. COVID didn’t help, but there will always be challenges. If it wasn’t COVID there would be something else to overcome. Regardless of skin color, gender, rich, poor, sexuality, or any of the other labels media and politicians use to divide us there will be problems. If your parents did their job you will have no problems identifying them and solving them. You don’t understand Bucky. Some random guy called me a racist word in the grocery store parking lot. Perfect now you have an excuse to be angry and complain the world is against you. You give a lot of power to some ignorant moron you’ll never see again. I say ”Fuck that guy.” Not literally. Move on and forget it. Explain to me how arguing with idiots helps you reach your goals…

The beauty of being a ”when” thinker is you will subconsciously start to put a date on it. When I talk to that girl tomorrow I’ll know if she is interested or not, allowing me to stop wasting energy on the ”what if”. You might find out her Dad is the racist you ran into at the Piggly Wiggly which helps you decide if you want to raise little white power babies. Racism isn’t funny Bucky. Thanks for pointing out some obvious shit. Now move on and take this big sack of worthless anger with you. I hope one day you learn to just leave it and not fill that sack up in the first place. Lots of great people in this world, don’t waste time on crappy people, and learn to ask yourself “when” instead of “what if”.

Many times the things that I write are a reminder to me instead of a ”lesson” to you. I get caught up with the anger, the sadness, the fear of failure, and the worthless habit of blaming others for my problems. That last one will be another blog coming soon, but for today I really hope you use this blog as motivation to reflect on your own life to see what questions you’re asking.

I wrote this at 4 AM this morning, but just getting around to sharing it now. Not sure where this all came from, but it sounded good to me. I’m a when person and not a what if.

FknBucky

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12
Apr
21

RIP DMX

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Hello blog readers! It is Monday. Fresh start. We will get to an amazing dog story here, but first I’d like to take a moment to remember DMX. I actually met him while in LA a little over 10 years ago. I drove up to Hollywood to try out for last comic standing. I was kicked out because I can’t stand. That is not even kinda true, but in this believe everything world go ahead and run with that. Ha. It rained HARD the entire drive up from San Diego which is obviously not the norm for Southern CA. I was on the elevator and noticed a couple walking towards the elevator. I didn’t see who it was until he and his woman were in the elevator. I had just held the elevator for DMX. Mind you this was when he was very famous.

I talked about the stupid rain and a couple other brief things that had nothing to do with him being DMX. We got to their floor and off they went with me wishing them a good night. I thought it was a cool thing and was looking forward to telling my friends about it. The next morning I went down to the lobby and there was DMX with about 4-5 other people. He was trying to fly one of those cheap remote control helicopters that were popular at that time. I’m not into bothering people just to say I did so I let him be. To my surprise he actually came up to me and introduced himself as X.

He was just a cool guy. We talked for about 10 minutes while I waited for my car to come up. My car never came. Turns out it had a flat tire in the parking garage. That was a bummer. You know I forgot about the flat tire part of that trip. Oh well it happens. I pride myself on being able to read people when I meet them. I can usually tell if I’m going to like someone within a few moments. I’m not as good as women when it comes to this as they know within 4.87 seconds if they will sleep with a guy upon meeting him. That whole first impression thing. Anyway I found DMX to be genuine and I thought it was pretty cool for him to leave his people behind to come talk with me for a few minutes. I honestly don’t remember what we talked about mainly because it didn’t matter. We were just a couple of guys bullshitting about anything and everything.

He left in a hurry though when I asked to borrow money. Okay that didn’t happen. We are still in Dog Week so I gotta bring this full circle yet. I did some reading about X the last couple days and turns out he had a tough time growing up. His real father was nonexistent and his Moms taste in men was simply put “Crap”. These men she brought into their lives were not good men. Each one treating DMX worst than the one prior. Turns out he spent a lot of time in the streets of New York. When he was young the Yonkers part of NYC was not a nice place to be. For a teenager to be out in those streets night after night had to be extremely hard.

It is said that he would befriend stray dogs finding food in dumpsters to give the dogs. Their loyalty and friendship was never in question. He was right. A lot of people find salvation in animals. They don’t judge, they don’t worry about bad decisions in your past, and they just want to make you happy. It is so genuine that anyone that could hurt them in anyway has no heart and is most certainly evil. I don’t know if you can come back from that. Michael Vick was a flipping psycho and the things he was found to be guilty of made my stomach turn. I hope for his soul he really did change inside.

I didn’t “know” DMX. I did meet him and have a 10 minute conversation with the guy. I liked him, but I tend to like everyone until you give me a reason to not like you. I look for the good in others. Everyone I meet I just assume they are one friend away from being great. I could be that friend. Think about that. You could too. All you have to do is say hello. Remind people that they are not alone on this life journey. It means more to people than you know. Ever had a complete stranger improve your day. I have and I look for opportunities everyday to do that for others. Get ready to have your mind blown!

Dogs do that naturally. It is in their DNA. They will run up to a stranger and beg to be petted. Ever seen a sad person petting a dog?? Nope it is an instant smile machine. I have a feeling that is what teenage DMX found in these stray dogs. We came up a step from yesterday. You don’t have to sniff a butt to be dog like, you simply have to find a way to make a stranger smile. Be that one friend that gets them over the hump. You’ll surprise yourself at how great you can be even when you’re not getting credit for it.

Be kind to each other, be kind to animals, and find ways to make the world smile. That is the secret formula to a fulfilling life.

FknBucky

***Some articles talked about DMX being involved in Dog Fights. I truly hope this was not the case. I didn’t see anything that was actual proof and in America you are innocent until proven guilty.***

28
Mar
21

When Kids Fail, we all win.

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
Categories: Uncategorized
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Disclosure: I wrote this blog a couple days ago, but my real life job (the one that pays for all my luxury items like my chick magnet mini van) got in the way of my writing career.

I like the blog I wrote yesterday. Sometimes the next day when I read them again I’m like “Eh, it could have been better.” That is okay though. Nothing is perfect every time. It is okay to fail and in fact it is good when you do. I say often and as far as I know I’m the only person I’ve heard say it so it is my quote. I expect credit every time you steal it. Here you go. Bad days are great, without them how would you know you’re having a good day??? Wow my crippled ass oozes wisdom. Just remember if you call me crippled I’m going to stab you and get away with it. I am just faking being paralyzed for the chicks. I used to tell that joke on stage and one of the worthless crap bag other comics actually started to BELIEVE it. Damn people are dumb. He literally grabbed me and pulled me out of my chair in front of the Comedy Store in La Jolla. Sure wish a couple Iowa/Wisconsin friends were with me that night. Dude would still be using a straw to eat steak. Someone did punch him in the face, but not nearly enough times. Okay way off course now. That guys sucks at life. His name is Gordon. Feel free to punch every Gordon you meet just in case it is him. How many can there be???

Failing is good. I just proved it isn’t always a good thing. Gordon failed at life. Like completely. Don’t take failing to that level. When I used to snowboard (I MISS IT SO MUCH) I would often say “if you aren’t falling you’re not trying.“. You have to push the limits to grow and sometimes you just miss the mark. I love to make people laugh, truly it is quite possibly my favorite thing to do. If you know me personally you know this to be true. Sometimes though my jokes fall very flat. It is kind of embarrassing and a few times are burned into my memory like “Oh shit, I really wish I had that comment back..”. I wouldn’t change a thing though. When this happens I usually say “they can’t all be zingers..”. You have to put yourself out there or be happy hugging the wall, riding the pine, or any other analogy about not getting into the game.

How you deal with failing is a massive part of the character you have as a human. If you throw a fit and whine to anyone that will listen well lets just say that is not the right way. Accepting the failure and then analyzing it to learn from it so that you are better next time is the right reaction. Not always the easiest option, but it is the right one. When we jump in to save our kids the pain of failure at ANY age you are stealing the lesson from them. Our first reaction is to protect them which is a noble one, but you have to fight that urge and let nature do its thing. Learning to fail correctly can start at any age. We never stop failing/learning as we grow older, but the problems and consequences get a lot bigger as we age. This is where wisdom comes into play. Learning the lessons at age 3, 4, or 12 years old lets us develop the skill of coping with failure. When you “protect” a child from this hardship they miss out on the lesson which leads to much harder times later on in life.

All of a sudden you are 20 years old and failure feels like the end of the world because you’ve never dealt with it. Let the lego tower fall and break so little Timmy learns to go thru the motions. First is the disbelief the tower feel, then anger at the thought of the stupid tower, depression because it sucks to have to start over, and then acceptance that it happened and the lesson of why it happened. Next time Timmy will build a larger base to keep the tower steady as it gets taller and taller. Grabbing the tower as it starts to fall and handing Timmy a cookie is wrong. He learns nothing and becomes fat. Not a horrible thing cause when Pippa comes out with a need for children burgers I’m coming for fat little Timmy first. Read the blog “Royals” if you want to understand that last line. You really do have to read every blog.

Timmy Burch lego. Google it.

None of this means you can’t help. In fact quite the opposite. You should be there to help point out the lessons learned and guide a young person in the correct way to accept failure. Help them see the lesson. Now here is the big one. If no one ever let you fail you don’t have the wisdom needed to teach this ever important life lesson. This leads to the snowball effect that continues for generations. Every time it gets a little bit worse until some catastrophic event happens leaving many to ask “What happened?? How could this of happened??” You heard it here first. All of the problems in the world lead back to Timmy and those darn legos. How do you prevent this?? First of all don’t name your kid Timmy and never let them play with legos. Easy enough. I’m here to help.

Life is awesome. It is also very very hard sometimes. Learning how to cope is a big part of having a happy life. I guarantee you that at some point in your life you will experience failure that seems overwhelming, but if you have had practice your whole life you’ll be ready to deal with it. No one goes thru life without stupid mean challenges hitting us in the face sooner or later. Take the punch and learn to duck next time, but also learn how to punch back. Exactly. Violence solves problems. Another great lesson for young kids, but I’ll write that blog another day. Right after I write the “Your kids should only be friends with other kids that look like them and think like them” blog. A lot of sarcasm there unless your name is Gordon. Then get ready. We are coming for you.

Remember young people are always watching. What kind of example are you???

Be kind to others. Not for them, but for you. You will love the person you become when you put the feelings and needs of other people in front of yours.

FknBucky

01
Apr
12

The Day. 19 Years today

By Bucktown 2 Comments
Categories: Uncategorized
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My physical scar is much smaller than the emotional ones I carry with me.
The only difference is now I sit down to smile.

I wrote this blog 9 years ago.  It is just as relevant today as it was then.  I’ve been paralyzed now for 19 years.  It is hard, life is hard, and for one stupid decision I have a lifetime sentence.  There is no parole, just more days guaranteed to be filled with pain, filled with depression, and filled with regrets.  I make a conscious decision every day to not allow myself to go down this pain, depression, and regret highway.  I don’t always succeed in stopping myself from spending time on this very lonely road which is never healthy, but it is always there begging me to come take the drive.  It will let me go as fast as I want, no morons camping out in the left passing lane, and a plethora of other whiners waiting for me to start the ”Poor Me” conversation.

I could have easily died that day.  Kind of a miracle I didn’t.  Many of you wouldn’t have gotten to know me.  So please read below.  Take a moment to put yourself in my shoes.  Please share it if you think others might benefit from reading this message.

April 1st 2002.  I was paralyzed in a motorcycle accident at 1:32 PM riding home from snowboarding at Copper Mountain.  I should not have been on a motorcycle that day, but I did it anyway.  My inner voice that I usually listen to was drowned out by my ego and irresponsibility.  I accept the outcomes of the choices I make because I’m an adult, a man, and a person that believes it is the only option.  Those that spend their days finding ways to blame others for their problems are only wasting time.

I was in the median of the freeway and I saw the oncoming traffic and thought to myself “this is how I am going to die.”  I accepted it and was strangely not afraid.  I have never really had a fear of being dead, but I don’t want to die early, I just accept what happens.  Then I was in the air.  Flying & flipping head over heels.  I was told later by a witness I did three full flips, but obviously I didn’t stick the landing.  My head hit first and I broke the helmet that was saving my life.  I believe the helmet pushed into my spine and smashed it.

I was awake the entire time and remember every detail.  It was the hardest moment of my life to date.  I knew I was paralyzed and I was scared.  My feet and legs were point up, but my chest & head were twisted around.  I had to take my arm and push against the ground to make my body look “normal” again.  That was scary as well.  A man from Africa got to me first.  He didn’t speak English, but just looked at me.  He tried to take my helmet off, but I told him not to with hand gestures.  A woman ran up to me and held my hand, while her husband parked the car.  While he was running over to me I could hear him say “Is he breathing.”

Then another woman showed up and held my other hand and proceeded to tell me that “she loved me”.  This is when I started to think I was dying.  That is what you say to people that are dying, and it started to freak me out.  The first woman saw this and told her to stop, but the 2nd woman argued back that I needed to hear it.  I was laying in the median of a freeway freshly paralyzed and still had women fighting over me.  It is the cross I bear…

An ambulance came and took me to a hospital.  What happened in that hospital was the scariest, hardest, and worst hour I can think of.  The questions and answers are something I wish I could forget.  You don’t need to know those details.  I was then taken by a helicopter to Denver where I was in critical condition for a few days. I told the lady on the helicopter to give me some serious drugs because I didn’t want to be there right then.  I said “I’ll deal with the rest of this tomorrow.”  She did.

Every time someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, this is what runs through my mind.  Still think it isn’t rude to ask somebody that question.  I get asked by complete strangers multiple times in a day sometimes.  Make sure your kids know better.  It was ten years ago and my life has changed substantially.  My views of the world, the government, and the way I represent myself.  Being in the hospital was like attending my own funeral.  People came from everywhere just to stand in that room to say nothing while saying everything.  They came to stand there and say “I care about you Bucky”.  This saved my life and ensured I would do everything I could to stay ME.

Doctors and nurses tried to trick me into taking antidepressants daily.  I would get a little cup full of pills, but I would ask everyday what each one is.  They would tell me not to worry about it, those were all good for me.  I refused to take any until I knew what they were.  After a week my sister told them to knock it off because I was getting pissed.  I was supposed to be depressed, I had just been fucking paralyzed.  It is natural.  Somehow I still found time to smile in that hospital bed, and even tell jokes to ease the tension of everyone.

Life is a journey and sometimes it is fucking really hard.  I don’t know what problems you have and personally I don’t care.  I will care if you ask me too, but way I see it, until you do it isn’t my business.  What I do know is that we all have problems no matter what race, religion, tax bracket, gender, age, or whatever other category you want to use to separate people.  That is what we all are, just one plain label.  People.

I’m not sure how I want to close this one.  I’ll just leave you with this.  I have overcome this and I’m a productive member of society.  The man I have become is because I faced my problems and solved them on my own. Those challenges took a cocaine abusing, drunken, womanizing, snowboarder into a drunken womanizing guy in a wheelchair.  I am proud of the man I am today, and who knows what I would be doing if it weren’t for those hardships.

As a community, country, and world we need to teach people that facing and solving your problems will make you a better person.  It will make you a stronger person and teach you things that you never even knew existed.

Be kind to others.  Don’t worry about the car that cut you off, the rude comments made online, or the outrage the 24/7 news channel is telling you to have.  Just be kind to everyone.  Not just the people that think like you do.

Fknbucky

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