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Posts Tagged ‘wife

Jul

We love you Ryan

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Cooper, CourtTV, Guilty, Iowa, joy, Karina, Life, mother, murder, Ryan, sentence, Tama, Traer, Trial, wife

Four years. It is a long time. Longer for some than others. Many of you that read my words understand exactly why I pick that amount of time. Yesterday we got the answer we wanted and like all of you I wasn’t surprised when I heard the word “Guilty”. In fact I felt a large weight come off me as I realized that a part of the nightmare is over. I hope all of you join me today to say a prayer for the Cooper family and all of his friends that miss him every single day. They’ve earned your respect and thoughts many times over.

I don’t want to talk much about the trial because in my opinion she is over. No more thoughts in my head about her as she goes into a dark hole in a prison someplace to live out her days alone. I understand a life sentence. I got one on April 1st, 2002 when I was paralyzed after making a stupid decision to ride a motorcycle I wasn’t qualified to be on. This blog isn’t about me, but I have a point to make so please be patient. It is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with and most likely will be, but I didn’t and don’t have to do it alone. I was blessed to have family and friends “walk” beside me every step of the way for the last 23 years and without them this life sentence would be truly unbearable.

When Karina murdered Ryan (I won’t type that phrase again ever) she also murdered her relationship with the world. Now she is alone. I take comfort in that thought. She might get a visitor someday, but all of us carry on enjoying a beautiful world, and getting to enjoy the AMAZING children she abandoned for incredibly stupid and selfish reasons. I’ve gotten to know one of them fairly well and he is such an awesome human and truly a strong young man. I call her stupid because how could she not see the amazing blessings she had right in front of her and foolishly threw them out for what?? A dark lonely cell for the rest of her life. Only someone with true evil in their heart could make such a decision and now we can forget all about her.

Please join me in remembering Ryan Cooper as he would want us to. Please block out the evidence of a trial and think about the smiling man with a cold Busch Light in his hand. A lifetime member of the Busch Light Brotherhood that none of us will forget. Please join me in committing to taking care of the children that so unfairly had their lives turned into chaos thru NO FAULT of their own. We will keep Ryan’s memory alive by telling them the stories and memories we have of him as they grow up so that we can remind them daily at how many people on this Earth truly loved their father. It is important we do this.

Please join me in saying a prayer for Aaron and Heather (sometimes known as Ashley – inside joke) who rose to the challenge without hesitation to take care of Ryans family. Many people say they would, but words are meaningless. The language of actions is all that matters in life and A-A Ron (couldn’t resist) stepped up in the most amazing ways imaginable. He is a hero in my book and everything that came out in the trial proved it beyond a reasonable doubt to me.

We have another trial to go thru, but just maybe that dipshit will grow a pair and simply plead guilty like the “egg donor” should have. Sorry (not really) that is mean, but I still have the anger in me even if I try real hard to take the high road. I’ve wanted to write about this for a while and I’m not sure why I haven’t. My only thinking was I honestly didn’t know if I had the words in me, but they are pouring out this AM with ease. I guess I just had to get started. I urge many of you to talk about Ryan often. I know it hurts, but it is important to not let PAIN/EVIL win and make the effort to let JOY come thru. Remember the good times and only let the bad ones live in that cold dark cell she will spend eternity in.

We are the light. We are the joy. All of us together make the world special and beautiful.

Busch Light Brotherhood for life. We love you Ryan Cooper. We will not forget. Ever.

FknBucky

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Apr

My Friend named Grandma

By Bucktown Leave a Comment

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: anger, bad, blog, call, Celebration, family, farm, friend, garden, Grandma, grandparents, happy, Hard, hartd, Hate, help, Iowa, Life, love, Mom, personal, phone, respect, sad, strength, wife, work

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Just boarded another airplane for another flight home. I’ve done this dozens actually hundreds of times before, but today is different. I’m flying home to say goodbye to one of my dearest friends. I’m so thankful for the time I was able to spend with her and will remember all the wonderful conversations we had over the last 20 years. For those of you that know me personally you know I have friends all over the world and I’ve been blessed to have so many of them. This friend was all alone in her category simply because of her name. Grandma.

I have always been close to my Dads father. I was named after him and that was a small club to be in. I probably don’t deserve his name as he was one of the greatest men I’ve ever known. When he was 80 yrs old I watched him carry a large metal tub filled with corn down to the hog barn to feed the chickens. Ha. Just kidding. There are pigs in the hog barn you fools!! When I would visit my Grandparents, Grandpa and I would sit at the table having tea and thoseamazing chocolate chip cookies only Grandma could make, while G-ma waited on us. Naturally most of the conversation was between us men. It was just the way it was. I mean we all know the golden rule. Women have to be quiet while the men are talking.

My Grandpa passed away 17 years ago and while back visiting Grandma she mentioned she is awake until 2-3 am most nights. I started volunteering at the children’s hospital in San Diego around this time. Every Tuesday night I would open and run a playroom for the kids to get out of their rooms and have some fun. My drive home was 30-40m min and almost always after 9 PM. I like to talk to people when I’m driving, but 9 PM is a little late to call friends to just say “hey”. One night I thought Grandma is awake, I’ll call her. I called, she was up, and we had a great talk. As time went on, week after week, I would continue to call G-ma on my drive home. She looked forward to it and so did I. Something happened during those calls. My Grandma became my friend.

She told me so many stories. How she first knew my Grandfather was the man she would marry. He was at her place to help do some sort of work and as he left the house with the others, my grandma handed him a pair of gloves and their hands touched. Not a quick touch, but long enough to gaze into each others eyes and decide I’m going to marry this person. Simpler times. A hand lingering just long enough to relay the message, but not too long to be creepy.

She told me about her wedding day. They were going to “honeymoon” in Waterloo planning to eat a fine dinner and then going to see a movie. For reasons not discussed the young married couple were running late and had to smash a couple burgers quickly so they could still make the movie on time. The best part was the happiness in her voice as she relived these memories with me. I felt and still feel honored she shared these stories with me. I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to know her so well.

Grandma had so many pictures and was a rock within the family. Doing all she could to keep the family together having family reunions and always encouraging everyone to let go of the anger, be open to kindness, and forgive when necessary. It seems fitting that our whole family will be brought together one more time by Anna Pearl. I can envision her and Grandpa (together again!) looking down at us all with smiles knowing they did their best for their family and I’m not alone when I say THANK YOU to both of them.

Just part of Grandmas super army. Love you forever Grandma.

I will say this. MAKE the time to talk with people you love. None of us are that busy we can’t put forth the effort. Well so and so never calls me, why should I reach out to them??? Why shouldn’t you?? Whatever happened let it go. It isn’t worth dragging that anger anchor around with you. Don’t you want to be free of this pissed off attitude that sucks up all your energy so you can stay mad???

I loved my Grandmother without question. She was a remarkable woman. All that came natural. I’m happiest though knowing I took the time to make my amazing G-ma my best friend while I had the opportunity. She taught me so many lessons that I will use the rest of my life. Many times people will say I didn’t know what I had until it was gone. I have learned very hard lessons that way, but this one time I got ahead of the game. I made sure to appreciate my friend everyday.

The world lost a bright shining light of a human, but heaven gained an angel that will forever be looking down at our families.

That is what I wrote on the flight out. I’m currently on the flight back to Charlotte. At the visitation I went by, but purposely didn’t look into the casket directly. I used a bit of side eye, then closed my eyes, and said a private prayer between Anna Pearl and myself. I didn’t want the vision of her in my head overwhelming all the happy mental pics I’ve taken of her during my life.

My family is far from perfect. My Grandma wasn’t perfect. I am so far from Perphekt that I have to spell it wrong. I might name one of my kids that actually…. Truth is like all families there is some drama and blah blah. I don’t involve myself in that. Some people need conflict and thrive on it. I’m not one of those. I prefer if something has your panties all wadded up, say something, get it off your chest, and then move on.

The celebration of life was awesome. Many of my family members made the trip home and we got to visit, laugh, and enjoy the moment. Anna Pearl got us all together one last time.

We are all going to miss her, but I’ve promised myself to replay the great times in my head and share the advice, family history, and the wisdom my dear friend Grandma passed to me.

I love you Grandma and Grandpa. So happy you are together again. I promise to do my best to encourage everyone to drop the anchors and be happy again. At this stage of the game no body is changing. Just accept your family members for who they are and simply love them unconditionally.

Thank you,

FknBucky

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Nov

UnThankful

By Bucktown 1 Comment

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: apartment, bless, book, dog, family, friend, friends, good, happy, Hate, Holiday, home, husband, Life, love, random, read, sad, thanks, Thanksgiving, turkey, wife

Turkey Day. Family. Being thankful. I drove to Alabama yesterday which sucked. Too many other drivers on the road. I wish I could just zap them all to disappear like ships in the Bermuda Triangle. For the record, I hate people.

I say blah to Thanksgiving. We pass it over and head straight to Christmas anyway. Some say it is racist. A racist holiday to spend time with your loved ones and take a day to express your thankfulness for all the blessings in your life. When you explain it like that, it makes total sense. Stupid racist Thanksgiving people. I say we switch it up from now on.

Take this Thursday in November to be a selfish prick. Eat all you want, diets be darned, and fall asleep with your pants unbuttoned with the NFL games playing on TV. Make it 24 hours of all about you time. Thankful. Not today.

Instead of being thankful one day a year, how about we be thankful 364 days a year. Take the one day to hate on everyone, get drunk on wine all day, and eat a huge meal you most likely did not pay for or help prepare. Don’t thank the cooks. Eat with your hands after 7 tequila shots while cursing in front of the kiddos. I just described every holiday of my 20’s…

I just find it fake. It is like 9-11 when you post a “never forget” meme, but forget about it the next day. Did you donate to a fund to help first responders with illnesses directly from being at ground zero??? I’m making a point. I’m so “thankful” today. Tomorrow AM I will be complaining that I don’t have as big of a TV as my neighbor and that is society’s fault. My neighbor works overtime while I spend my free time drinking beer and smoking weed, but it is not fair he/she has a nicer car than I do.

Okay I’ve beat you up enough. You don’t need a holiday to be thankful and appreciate the blessings you currently have. You can start by no longer measuring your happiness with things. Happiness is a choice, an emotion that cost no money, and if you don’t have a lot of it the only person to blame is yourself. Be accountable for you and own your choices. Best part of that is every single day you can wake up and make new choices. Choose to read a book, take a class, call an old friend, end a feud with a loved one, or anything. Pick someone and do a kind thing for them randomly.

About a year ago I decided to send my niece handwritten letters for fun. Getting mail as a 7 year old is a pretty big deal. It takes 5 minutes to write up a message and maybe $.50 for a stamp. I wait for no holiday or birthday. I just do it. I put some cheap stickers in it and I’m told the excitement is massive when it shows up. I’ve gotten a couple letters in return, and it is pretty exciting to see a crayon colored butterfly mixed in with credit card offers and hospital bills. I’m thankful for those butterflies every time I open the fridge. Best art in my home.

My overall point is this. Make every day of your life Thanksgiving. Appreciate the blessings you have right now. A wife, girlfriend, kids, friends, family, food, clothes, shelter, neighbors, and all the rest. I come across a lot of unthankful people everyday and honestly it makes me sad. Negative energy is contagious. Here is a mind blowing thought. Positive energy is also contagious. What do you want to be known for??? If you want things to be different in the future change the decisions you make today.

I truly hope all of you have blessed day with friends and family.

Love Who You Are Today, Tomorrow is Not Guaranteed.

FknBucky

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Dec

Tragedy and Smiles

By Bucktown Leave a Comment

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: anger, attitude, benefit, brother, Chevy, church, cord, Dad, determine, dog, drive, family, fear, Ford, friends, fund, God, good, happy, Hate, health, injury, kids, kind, Life, love, Mom, motivation, new, para, raise, sad, sister, spinal, strength, stupid, try hard, wife, worthless

I want to share a story with you today. A very important one that I hope will open your eyes, your heart, and help motivate you to count your blessings instead of constantly wishing for more. There is a club that no one wants to join. There is no name for it, it has no leader, and it is guaranteed that all members wish they could unjoin. It is a club of tragedy. Accidents that change the body is the cost of membership. I became a member April 1st, 2002 and have been dealing with it every single day since. This isn’t my story though.

I volunteer because I am able to help and I know that. I offer my everything to the people I talk with at the rehab hospital. I will answer any questions no matter how personal, help with any equipment they may need or want to know about, and I’m happy to talk with family members that want to learn/understand how to best help the loved one that is going thru this physical nightmare. I’ve probably talked with at least few hundred confused/scared people over the years and I’m very proud of that.

Travis and Staci Hoyle gave me permission to use their real names in this blog. Travis was injured a couple months ago and is currently using a wheelchair. I want to express one thing here very strongly. It isn’t your business how it happened. Don’t ask. Ever. It is not okay. Don’t say I’m one of those people that just blurt it out. Travis will tell you if he wants to. Instead do something easy. Talk to him like you would without the chair. He is the same person today as he was 6 months ago. Bust his balls, call him ugly, give him a hard time about driving a Nissan, or whatever else you normally do.

The Hoyle’s have a tough road ahead. It isn’t impossible, but it is hard and they will need that 4 wheel drive of his F150, (it is actually a 2004 Nissan 4×4 Supercharged) to get thru it. “Travis made sure I corrected that.” I have no doubts that they will. This is a strong family from what I have seen. Leave your pity at home. Nobody needs that crap. Bring your happiness, smiles, never give up attitude, and instead of asking for details on what happened say ”I know you got this and I’m here if you need anything.”

I see strength, fear, and determination in Staci and Travis’s eyes. It is okay to have fear because everything is new and we fear what we don’t know. The strength they have has nothing to do with lifting weights. True strength is in a persons mind, it is strong to accept reality, it is strong to smile first thing in the morning and say I can do this, it is strong to remember you’re not the only one going thru this, and most importantly it is strong to acknowledge other people are hurting as well. Pity parties are stupid and worthless so have a strength party. Challenge everyone around you to use the strength God gave them to overcome this obstacle. Once again I will say I have no doubt they will overcome this, but friends and family have a HUGE role to play to make that happen.

Unfortunately bad things happen to great people all the time. It is unfair and makes me want to scream at nothing sometimes. 20 years of membership and yes sometimes I still have moments of extreme weakness and anger. The key is to not live there. Accept the emotions, work thru them naturally, and get back to living your best life. Avoid the ”what if” hole because it simply leads to depression, anger, and regrets. What if I didn’t go, what if I didn’t stop for coffee, what if I didn’t date her, what if what if, and more what if. That is pointless because no matter how much you torture yourself it will not ever change the outcome.

You don’t have to be Travis and Staci to use the advice above. Everyone has hardships in life, hardship plays no favorites, and facing it head on is the right course of action. There is a benefit for Travis on Sunday. I’m told the 300 available tickets sold out very quickly. Money is always welcome and helpful, but kind words and genuine caring is fuel for the fighting spirit alive inside of Travis and Staci. This is not an easy road, but once again it is not impossible. The only thing different is Travis got a lot shorter and won’t be running up any stairs for a while.

Remember as this battle goes on that smiles and laughter are okay. In fact they are a must. Focus on the things that make you smile. Watching your kids succeed at anything. Holding your partner in front of a fireplace on a rainy night. Laughing with your friends while telling old stories. One of my best friends growing up and I would always yell when Welcome Home (Sanitarium) by Metallica came on. It is a random thing, but after my accident while having a tough moment in life that song come over the radio. I was instantly transported back in time and smiled gratefully that I was still alive to enjoy that memory. It is okay to be happy while dealing with tragedy. To this day every time I hear this song, I’m instantly 19 years old again, yelling at the radio with my friends while drinking a Busch Light.

It is easy to find reasons to be unhappy, mean, and ungrateful. True strength is when you put all those aside and find one reason to smile. You only need one. Kids, wife, family, friends, pets, food in your stomach, warm place to sleep, and so on. You can choose to be happy in horrible situations. In life when we are forced into situations beyond our control it is important to concentrate on the one thing we always have control of. Your Attitude. It is easy to smile at the end of the trip, but more important to keep that smile and positive attitude going during the journey no matter how long it may be.

I hope everyone who reads this will share it. You never know who needs to hear the message above. If you can donate money please do and then share this message. If you can’t send money I only ask you share this message so others will see it and be able to help.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/257mk-help-travis-hoylespinal-cord-injury?member=14697887&utm_campaign=contacts-v2-invite-to-donate&utm_medium=sms&utm_source=twilio

Count your blessings. Be grateful for the people in your life. Truly grateful for them.

FknBucky

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We still need Justice for Ryan Cooper. Please come forward if you have any information. As Russell Crowe said in the Gladiator “We will have our vengeance, in this lifetime or the next.”

Feb

CRIKEY

By Bucktown 1 Comment

Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: australia, big, binda, camera, crikey, crocodile, hunter, inspire, irwin, man, passion, perfect, PETA, snake, spiders, Steve, wife, woman, zoo

Funny where I find inspiration. I just saw a commercial about the Australia Zoo getting to open finally making the Irwin family super happy. The world became a little less fun the day Steve died. I personally go out of my way to murder sting rays now to avenge him. It is never enough. I vowed a lifetime of service to make sure the Earth is rid of these murderous bastards. Yeah none of that is true. I do miss that guy though. I don’t remember if I was still smoking pot the first time I saw him on TV, but I do remember the exact time I was channel surfing and stopped on this guy.

He was in this tiny boat cruising around crocodile infested waters. I was into it right away like what is this crazy SOB about to do. He comes upon this crocodile that has to be 5-6’ long when he says it is “perfect” to which I thought perfect to kill. My kind of show lets kill something!! Just kidding PETA, I only murder cute animals. This guy looks at the camera and says this is the part where he jumps in the water to catch the crocodile. I didn’t even have time to process the statement he just made when he legit jumped into the water and started to wrestle this prehistoric beast. Obviously I’m like WTF is going on here?? I’m glued to the TV at this point.

I kept thinking this can’t be real. Who the hell is this crazy SOB??? He starts yelling “it is bigger than I thought” and screams for his WIFE to jump in the water with him to help wrestle this man killer. No freaking way I thought. Wrong again. She stands up like Rick Flair, flexes like she on the top rope, and drops an elbow on the crocodile trying to eat her husband. This is absolute carnage. I assumed it had to be the drugs and made a mental note to call the weed man and get some more of this stuff. Now that I’m telling the story I have no idea how it all ended. I think I was in such a “what just happened” phase that I couldn’t possibly register more at the moment.

That is how I learned who Steve Irwin was who we all know as the crocodile hunter. This guy was crazy. He was entertaining. We all watched him at some point. The guy would be semi sexually aroused by a 2 lb spider that can kill a human just by looking at them. You or I would be running away, but not Steve, he would chase the thing down, grab it, and proceed to tell the camera how flipping cute it was. I don’t know about you, but that is a guy I want to have some beers with. Can you imagine the stories he could tell?? I was genuinely sad when the news broke that he had been killed by a sting ray. The world lost something special that day.

This was a guy that had a passion for creepy crawly things and just went with it. He deserved all the success he got in my opinion, but somehow I know he would have been just as happy in life living in a rented double wide trailer somewhere in Oklahoma. To me this guy got life. He didn’t conform to anything. He went and found a wife that loved these disgusting animals as much as he did. AND!! She jumped into the water out of a very safe boat to help him wrestle a crocodile. Ladies take note…. That is how you get a man to propose. You want a ring?? Jump out the damn boat and help your man wrestle a 400 lb crocodile. Haha. I know a couple girls that would do it if it meant getting a man!

I hope everyone learns to love life as much a Steve Irwin did. I’m glad to see his widow, daughter, and son are keeping his legacy alive and hope to someday go to their zoo and support what they do.

So don’t be afraid to yell “CRIKEY” every once in a while and get excited about something most others don’t care about. Show some passion about things you love and who cares what others think. I am passionate about writing and still have nervousness about will people like my writing, topics, or any of the other stuff that goes along. I tune that out though and do me. Every day I write something I feel better and have no plan to stop anytime. This blog is my crocodile and I hope if you enjoy it, you’ll share it and tell others about it.

I appreciate you all. Do some random kindness because it is the right thing to do. Buy the maintenance crew pizza, send a funny card to someone you haven’t talk to in a while, or tell a stranger a compliment because it is true. Don’t tell someone wearing sunglasses they have pretty eyes. Yeah unfortunately some of you (people in the world) are that dumb.

FknBucky

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