Posts Tagged ‘yoga

22
May
25

Overcome

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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The fight continues. The show must go on. Never give up. Blah blah blah Just words. Maybe a poster one of your co-workers has up in their cubicle. My personal favorite is the one of the frog refusing to be eaten. It really does embody the thought of “never give up”. I’ll google it and put it at the start of the next paragraph. Pictures come last if you didn’t know.

If you’ve been absent the last few months let me catch you up. I’m fat. There you go. Okay now the rest of the story, shout out to Paul Harvey. After dying and coming back to life in May 24’ I was almost 300 lbs. I see photos from back then and I’m amazed at how much weight I allowed myself to gain, but my health issues made life extremely hard. I am paralyzed so the extra lbs caused me a lot of problems. I had to make some changes so I did. I started exercising, changed my diet, and set goals. Setting goals is as important as the other two. It is foolish to start a journey with no concept of a destination.

My first goal was to lose 50 lbs, then 75, now 100, and eventually 125 which will put me around 175 total. I also decided that I wanted to be able to do a pull up. Strap my chair to me or me to it rather and get my chin above the bar. Not the bar you take Jame-O shots from. Ha. To reach this goal I have to lose weight and gain strength. Hello weight lifting. I started with some dumbbells at home. 10 lb curls. It is a lot when you come off of life support so 3 sets of 10 with those small bells were all I could do at the beginning. I stuck with it. This AM I did 5 sets of 21 with 20 lb dumbbells. Sometimes I do 5 sets of 12 with 25 lbs. That is a massive improvement for about 7 months.

Yesterday I decided to hit the gym at my apartment complex to work on my chest using one of the machines. After my second set I probably pushed a bit too hard, I lost my balance, and fell off the darn machine to the floor. I was the only one there and screwed. I looked around to see what I could use to get back up and saw nothing. To myself I said “Oh Shenanigans, this is a bummer!” I was surprised as well. It isn’t very often I use such language…… I decided to crawl to a machine nearby with a little lower seat and of course I had to drag my chair along with me. I bet you didn’t think about that did you…..

Once there it became clear that plan was not going to cut it so I started to search again. I saw a treadmill and thought if I can get on that, scoot to the other end, I could be high enough to transfer back into my chair. Then I thought about other people walking into the gym and seeing my crippled ass sitting on the treadmill. Let that sink in for a second. Plenty of one liners would be good for that. I could say:

“Never hurts to try right??”

“I didn’t think this thru!”

This is how my brain works. Even while laying on the cement in the gym completely eff’d, I thought of jokes and made myself laugh. I would love for you to comment what you think I should have said. Be creative and remember it is only cruel, if it isn’t funny.

On my way to the treadmill I saw a different option. There was a bosu ball and a bench. I thought I can get on the bosu ball, climb onto the bench, scoot to the top, and then back into my chair. I made it over and the planned worked out perfectly. I worked up a sweat and about three minutes later another resident walked into the gym completely unaware of the absolute carnage I had just been thru. She smiled at me kindly seeing how sweaty I was and must have thought “Wow, that super insanely handsome wheelchair guy is really getting after it!” I’m not mind reader, but I’m pretty sure that is what she was thinking.

I was worried about using the machines in the gym because I might fall off one. It held me back. Was that fear justified?? Of course, but something beautiful happened yesterday. I learned that I have nothing to be afraid of. The worst happened and I over came it. Alone. I also know why I fell so I won’t make that mistake again, but if I do, I know how to handle it. We don’t overcome our fears by avoiding the things we are afraid of, we become stronger by facing those things head on and then making them our “beach”.

Know what else I learned?? How to spell Bosu Ball. Hmmmm. It was a really informative day.

FknBucky

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05
May
25

No Twix for the win

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Monday morning. Welcome back to reality. Hopefully the hangover isn’t too strong today and if it is, I hope it was well worth it. I’ve had plenty of hard Monday mornings back in the day and yeah they were worth it. Ha. I’m waking up in a hotel this AM and decided to write a blog instead of working out. Is that the best use of your time Bucky? Great question and normally I would say NO, but today there is a message I want to share ASAP.

I’ve been blogging about my journey to do a pull up. To achieve this goal I have to lose weight and get stronger at the same time. Only way to get there is to make better choices and some real sacrifices in my daily life. Very easy to say, extremely hard to start implementing, and dang the world is stacked against making these changes. I spent time with family last night telling stories and explaining to all of them for the 17,394th time about why I’m the most awesome human ever to live. I can assure you they never get tired of hearing about how great I am….

I kept this goal of mine a secret to the world for the first few months and only recently decided to share it with all of you. It is scary to open up in such a way and expose myself to a level of criticism that isn’t necessary, but I’ve found it to be a useful tool. Holding ourselves accountable can and will make you a better person forcing you to stay on task even when nobody is watching. How Bucky?? Stop asking so many questions and just pay attention.

I read my blogs over and over after I write them. Many times wondering what kind of an idiot actually reads this, but then I look in the mirror and say “Oh yeah”. I understand there are millions of people just like me that want to be better, work at it, and yet still struggle because the world fights us every step of the way. I cut out the candy again after Easter with a renewed vigor to reach my goal and have been solid. In a blog the other day I talked about Ice Cream and its powerful grip on my brain. I freaking love that stuff, but it isn’t helpful right now so it has to take a back seat.

When I stay in hotels I’m used to getting a snack from the gift shop by the check in counter. I’m a titanium member of Marriott and that means they love my fat ass. While they make my keys I roll into candy land and ask if I can grab something, and 99.99% of the time they say take whatever you want. Ha. It isn’t stealing because you get a free gift at check in, but I like to do it stealthily so I feel dangerous. An hour before last nights check-in I was telling my Mom, sister, and nephew about how great I’m doing and how diet is really the key to everything. By the incredible looks on their faces I could tell they heard blah BLAh blah blah blah blah, blah, blah, and blah blah.

Me and my big mouth. I stole a Twix. I knew better, but there it was all free and free. I could have taken a free nothing, but nope I wanted that Twix. I put it in my pocket, thanked Eli (front desk guy), and rolled my happy hypocrite ass down the hallway to my room. I planned to unwrap that chocolate, caramel coated cookie and bask in its sugary yumminess, but……. This darn blog. I read Ice Cream Satan and the line of “nobody will know, but I will” stuck out to me. If I ate that Twix, I would know. Sounds stupid, but it is true. What is more important to my life???

Was I prepared to give up my goal for a stupid candy bar?? Just throw in the towel and be done with it all?? Of course I was and that was the best Twix I ever had!!! ha. Just kidding. I didn’t eat the freaking thing. I’m proud of myself this morning and I know I have a new future ahead of me that involves a pull up. Now you understand why this blog is more important than a work out. I will go back and read this when I need a reminder because I will need one. I’ll probably need to be reminded before lunch today, but the point is I’ll seek it out and stay on target. I didn’t quit after I got paralyzed and I’m not going to quit now. Neither should you.

I want to stress this last point. I’m just a guy that has made every wrong decision a person can make. I had to learn the hard way over and over and over again. I know I am special, but so are you. I simply refuse to give up and will try and try and try until the final curtain call. Right now the biggest try is to try and NOT eat this darn Twix. 🙂

FknBucky

If you don’t subscribe to my blog I ask that you do. You have to join WordPress.com to do so, but it does help me. I’m also in the process of making new shirts and SWEATSHIRTS!

25
Feb
25

STRAPPED UP!!

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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6:37 is what the clock said when I looked at it. DANG IT is what I said. Yoga starts at 7 AM and I was going to be late. Annie looked at me with drowsy eyes that said stop moving around I’m trying to sleep here. Nothing like waking up in a hotel, late, and then trying to rush out the door for a yoga session across town. Sounds like familiar territory in my life as rushing is something I’ve become accustomed to. This darn wheelchair makes everything take much longer, but such is life.

Even with hitting every single red light on the way there, I arrived at 7:06 AM, and class was in session as I rolled thru the door. Luckily it is a cozy yoga studio with great people that are happy to see an extra face awake and joining them for the early morning namaste. Class itself was perfect although 17 minutes in, I realized I have a lot to learn about yoga still. I do a session on my own daily and it is clear my form along with my timing is crap compared to what it is when I attend classes. I’m paralyzed from the chest down and have figured out how to do yoga, so what is your excuse again??

My body is a million times better off and I have so much LESS pain when I do yoga daily. A testimonial you didn’t ask for and I didn’t plan on making. Third paragraph is when I usually pivot to talk about what I actually had in mind. Today is no different. I was cleaning up the blocks and straps I used for the past hour. Well 54 minutes if you want bring up old shit about me being late. Moonbeam (yoga coach) grabbed the blocks from me and said she would be back for the strap. I take no orders and decided to take care of the strap myself. I carefully rolled it up tight so it would sit nicely in the strap box. Seems like a pretty boring event right?? WRONG!

I rolled that strap up perfectly. Wasn’t mine. No fee to just throw it in the box. I mean it isn’t Blockbuster and it wasn’t a VHS tape. This took more of my precious time to roll it up with no real benefit to me. Why do it Bucky??

Well….. I don’t do things half assed. Ever. Not even a stupid strap after yoga. If you can’t do tiny little tasks with precision, how or why would anyone trust you to do big tasks perfectly? It is a mind set and I see many people in this world that don’t have it or refuse to use it. How do you tackle inconsequential projects throughout the day?? Do you put care into them and pay attention or simply throw whatever into the box while thinking about that TV show you watch that no one else cares about?

Success is in the details. I didn’t roll that strap up for the yoga studio. I did it for myself. It is a form of intangible character that one must possess to have a successful happy life in my opinion. Pay attention to the small things and the larger problems in life become much easier to overcome. Look at what you are doing and think “how can I do it better?” Once the answer becomes “no possible way to do this better”, you will have mastered the task and just might unlock the door to a fulfilling life in the process.

Namaste

FknBucky

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13
Feb
25

a poo story

By Bucktown Leave a Comment
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Imagine you get up at 5:40 AM, eat some quick fruit, do some exercise with dumb bells, a bit of yoga, and then after a few more bites of fruit take your bestie out for a morning walk. The world is very wet from 24 hours of rain the day before, but at least it isn’t falling from the sky. My fur coat wearing friend takes off running for the park area only pausing at each drive way to see if I’m going to yell or let her go full speed today. It was a full speed kind of morning.

I only throw the frisbee for a good 10-15 minutes because my receiver has had a bum leg for the last few days and today was the first day back in action. I’m stoked. Feeling great to have so much accomplished and the day has barely even started. My spasms have been SO MUCH BETTER since getting the kidney out in July allowing me to actually exercise and have a life again. More on that some other day.

I see Annie drop some treasures by the mailboxes and like I do every single time, I make my way over to pick it up. I am obsessed with picking up after my dog simply because I can’t stand other people that don’t. I don’t want to be a hypocrite so wheelchair be damned, I’ll get that poo. I’ve fallen more times than I’d like to admit, but luckily that didn’t happen today. Nope I did not fall out of my chair picking up dog poo.

I did however roll thru some other persons dog poo getting to my dogs poo. I didn’t realize it of course until it was all over my wheels, then my sweatshirt, my gloves, and finally the rest of my clothes. If your windows rattled in NC this AM it was probably me yelling “Oh darn”. I’m pretty sure I saw some children start crying at my “darns”. Children know more curse words than I do.

I was pissed. I started to yell at Annie even though it wasn’t her fault. I stopped and realized I was allowing something stupid to mess my day up. What is the point?? The person who left the literal crap behind didn’t care I was mad. They will most likely never know cause they suck. Karma should kill them. Soon I hope. I stopped being mad, but never said I wasn’t holding a grudge.

I went home, stripped down (let that image soak in), got into the shower, pulled my wheels in and scrubbed them down, dried everything off, and in about an hour was all cleaned up. It took longer than just swapping shoes like most people if they step in some dog poo, but my life carried on just fine. I thought of the monk carrying the woman and decided to leave that shit where it belonged. Behind those mailboxes three blocks away.

FknBucky

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23
Oct
21

Movie Set Sadness

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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Hello Saturday. I started my day volunteering with the college to help future OT’s learn to diagnosis future patients. A fun thing to do and very informal environment. Lots of things going on in the world today, but I’ll save those for another blog day. I feel obligated to talk about this ”accidental” shooting on the movie set with Alec Baldwin. Most of my friends and certainly my family understand firearms because our parents made sure of it. Best way to be hurt by a firearm is to have ZERO knowledge of them. You may not drive a car, but you know to wear your seat belt, look both ways before crossing a street, and respect cars because to not means you will be killed by one. Cars aren’t guns Bucky. Thanks for pointing out some obvious crap.

First rule in firearms. If it isn’t your gun, DO NOT TOUCH IT. Ever. Leave it be. A gun sitting on a table can’t kill or hurt you if no one touches it. Easier said than done you say?? Not really. I was raised with guns everywhere. I never played with a gun. I understood at a very young age that they weren’t toys, they were tools built for a job. No further explanation needed. If you know something can kill you, a sane person doesn’t play with it. Kind of like deciding to take your pet cobra on a walk. Yeah stupid.

Second Rule in Firearms. Anytime someone hands you a gun regardless of who it is, always assume it is loaded. ALWAYS. I don’t care if the Pope himself hands you a pistol and says “its okay, it is unloaded”, you still treat it like it will fire and blow your big ugly head off. I am assuming your head is big and ugly for this message. Now you are holding a gun that you believe is loaded, so what to do now. Simple. Check it so you can know for yourself that it is not loaded. If you are not 100% certain how to do this ASK. Put the gun down and say how do I unload or check it?? If anyone laughs at you, get up and leave. You don’t want to be around stupid people and guns. I love to talk smack as everyone knows. There is no time for that when handling firearms. Zero exceptions.

Third Rule in Firearms. NEVER point a gun at anything you are not ready to shoot. Ever. I don’t care if it is unloaded, safety on, or any other dumb thing you want to say right now. It is never okay to point a weapon at someone or something you aren’t willing to shoot. The second a firearm is in your hand, you are responsible for everything that happens with it. If you follow the above rules you will never have an accident and no one around you will be hurt or killed because of a firearm in your hand. As mentioned I have been around guns my entire life. Pistols, shotguns, rifles, and grenade launchers. We only use the grenade launchers when hunting rabbits because it is funny to watch them blow up into little rabbit pieces. Suck it hippie. No time for your BS today.

Shooting guns is fun, but only when done safely. There are no second chances. No saying ”my bad”. Mistakes with firearms simply can’t happen. If you choose to not have firearms in your home that is your decision and in this country you are free to make it, but that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook for making sure your kids know the above rules. At some point in their life they will be in the presence of a weapon. Knowing the rules above will save their life or someone near them. Not your gun, do not touch it. If someone points that gun at anything unsafe you simply leave. More people are killed by stupid people than anything else on this planet. If you are in a group of people and you can’t tell who the dumb one is, then unfortunately for you, it is you.

I wasn’t there on set when Alec did this. I can say if he had followed the above rules one person would still be alive and another would not be hurt. I have done a lot of dumb things in my life, but none of them were with guns. I don’t drink and then shoot guns. Never. Now dropping a lot of acid and shooting a fully automatic AR-15 at baby deer in the summer time is the greatest fun a man can have. Ease up PETA person, I ate a vegan chicken nugget today so I’m like at peace with Earth and stuff. Okay I guess we managed to put a couple jokes in here.

This is crazy unsafe. Everyone knows babies should only shoot revolvers.

I don’t care about politics when it comes to situations like this. No one else should either. Tragically a woman lost her life. That should have never happened. I hope no one else ever gets hurt or killed by a firearm, but I can promise you ignorance is not bliss. They are not going away anytime soon or ever if I have my say. You have a responsibility to make sure your children and loved ones are protected from themselves. Guns are not toys. They are not ”cool” like in a music video. They are tools used by responsible men, women, and some kids under proper supervision. I think there will be some changes on how people use firearms on movie sets and what not.

Be part of solutions.

FknBucky

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15
May
21

All about that Gummy Life

By Bucktown 1 Comment
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A short blog this AM. The world is burning down all around us if you believe the panic peddlers. Thing is you can’t let that get to you. Same as the left vs right BS. It is not really a secret which way I tend to lean, but the reality is I believe the government is not the answer to every problem. We can disagree. It is okay with me if you want to be wrong. Ha. I’m old now. I used to be cool back in the day and to be honest I enjoyed it. I haven’t had a drink since New Years Eve 2020. That is almost a year and a half. It is longest I’ve gone since I was 13 I believe. Maybe even 8. I used to sip the foam off the old mans beers when I would get him one.

That is for me. In fact unless you are personally involved in my life you wouldn’t know anything about that. I quit for me and it isn’t anyone else’s business until now I suppose. I didn’t plan on sharing that 5 minutes ago, but feels right to do so. Maybe someone that reads this blog needs to know that it is okay. You can stop. I will write something up someday detailing all of this, but not today. If you or someone you know wants to talk about it with me please reach out. I will give anyone my time if they ask for it.

So gummies. You all know how much I enjoy having my nieces and nephews around. Kids in general. I just love hanging out with them and dropping little bits of wisdom on them from time to time. Funny I’ve wasted a lot of time in my life being wasted, but I never feel like time spent with kids could have been better spent some place else. Before my nephews came over a couple months ago I asked my sister what type of food or treats they enjoy so I could purchase them. You know that whole think of someone else thing I try to pound into your head. She simply said one word that changed my life. Gummies.

When I think of gummies the first thing that comes to mind is worms. Now when I was young our gummy worms doubled as fish lures. In fact I really think they might have been. We didn’t have a lot of money so lets just say I didn’t care for “gummies” all that much. Fast forward 30 years and holy smokes. The Gummy world has changed. Lifesavers makes Gummies!! Who knew?? The Trolli glow in the dark freaking sour gummy worms… Little piece of wormy heaven. What was the point of bringing up the no drinking FknBucky?? The sugar. I love sweets all of a sudden now that I don’t drink.

I had no idea. No one told me. There is a whole gummy section at the store! Everything is gummy. Only need Jack Link to come out with beef jerky flavored gummies. Think about it. Yeah that is gross. I’d probably buy them though. Yesterday I told you to eat all the ice cream and hate everyone like Chrissy Teigen. That woman is a bitch. I don’t find her attractive either. Not even kinda. No matter as now it is time to buy a bag of gummies and share with others.

Take the time to be kind to one another. We only have one life, one planet, and why spend it hating people you don’t know. Find common ground instead of drawing lines in the sand. It is easy to hate someone. It takes strength and character to love people we disagree with. Are you strong or weak?? Kind of a deep question for a blog about gummy worms huh??

I wrote this before I left for a hot yoga class this AM. Just got back from my first class since the world shut down and I feel AMAZING. Covid can suck it. I’m never stopping hot yoga again. I’ll blog about that tomorrow.

Find ways to love people you disagree with. That is true power.

FknBucky

25
Feb
21

Round 2 Un-flippin-believable.

By Bucktown 2 Comments
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I think I have to stop writing. The world is just not working for me. I can’t make this stuff up and honestly who would want to. This day has been going awesome. I got a ton of work done this AM, had a fantastic Yoga session with Moonbeam (greatest yoga/life coach ever), and ate healthy all day cause FknBucky needs to lose some FknWeight. Yesterday I took a pretty hard fall which happens but not that often. It sucked and I had to let go of the anger immediately or I would be pissed off all day. Wow that is strong Bucky. Yep, not easy, but very necessary to live a happy life.

I have no idea why as my spasms are usually much more manageable in the afternoon, but today like a rogue wave in the Bering Sea my legs decided Ef You Bucky and went for it again. Luckily I went over backwards this time so I could use the back of my head on the concrete floor to soften my fall. Yeah that will and did leave a mark. I can only assume it happened again so I can write it up for you to read. I just don’t understand sometimes why everything has to go to level 10 with me. It is always that way and I just accept it, but damn some days it just plain sucks.

Luckily the screen on my IPAD PRO got smashed this time. Having nice things is weird to me so thankfully it is now cracked and broken. Not just the screen protector, but deep down the screen is dust. Keeping my awesome lucky streak alive I called around to see about getting my IPAD repaired and it will be at least $650. $650 I didn’t need to spend 15 minutes ago. Thanks leg spasms. You’re the best at making sure I never get ahead. This sucks a lot, but hey this is FknBucky and we make sure shit is really jacked up when we screw up. The screen and parts needed are indefinitely back ordered, my warranty time with Apple Care is past, and my only option is to buy a new IPAD. To replace this one with the same features is going to cost me $1,500 that again I didn’t have to spend 20 minutes ago. If I try to give myself the “let it go” speech right now there is a good chance I’ll beat myself to death with my broken IPad.

That isn’t true. I am literally allowing the anger and frustration melt away thru this keyboard right now. I haven’t fallen in a while so to have it happen two days in a row is baffling, but I can’t change it. Crying about it and feeling sorry for myself isn’t going to make it all better or allow me to go back in time and stop it from happening. I remind myself that it is only money. The bump on the back of my head could have been worse as a lot of people hit their heads and don’t wake up. I am refusing to let this ruin my day. I did plan to meet a friend at the dog bar, but I backed out of that plan simply because I need to shower and I’m not ready for the carnage that goes on there.

Whatever it is in your life I promise you can overcome it. No matter how badly you want to stay mad at that person you need to just let it go. That anger is robbing you of precious time not the person you are mad at. I am not going to let my leg spasms take control of my emotions and let them waste my time. There is no difference in what I should do today from yesterday. Letting it go immediately yesterday was the right thing to do and it is the right thing to do now. But it is two days in a row Bucky. Yep it sure was and that sucks. Giving more energy and time to the “fall” will not change a thing.

If letting go was easy I wouldn’t need to write a blog about it. I will get a new screen or IPad finding the money somewhere. Who really needs two kidneys? I mean really I’m just being greedy having a spare around. I’m sure after all the drinking and drugs I did in my past I can get $30-40 bucks for the left one. The right one and I go way back, we actually dated the same girl back in the day. There is a history there. Here is the end all deal. I will figure it out. I always do and today will be no different.

So let my fall be your teacher. Letting go is a skill and one that you have to practice or it doesn’t work.

I am going to tie myself down tomorrow as enough is enough. For the record I had a great blog idea before this happened. Guess it will have to wait for tomorrow.

Be kind to others.

FknBucky

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