What up? Its Friday and I have no idea what the hell I want to talk about today. Just feel like typing and I guess we’ll see where this goes. I don’t create the title until after I write the blog so it is wide open right now. Looking around the room for some inspiration I see a fish, almost naked chick, can of diet pepsi from yesterday, and my bag of nuts. I have some berry’s in my nuts and not the dingle kind you sick bastard.
So we might as well talk about something I know nothing about. Nutrition. I’ll make it up as I go and you can cruise along laughing at the punchlines like the good little bitch you are. Ha ha. You like it rough don’t you. I was pounding whiskey and Miller Lite’s last night watching basketball when the guy next to me was explaining how he beat cancer 7 years ago. You know because I’m in a wheelchair I instantly want to know about whatever shit storm you’ve been through in your life. To be honest I usually don’t care, but I nod my head and drink a bit faster hoping the alcohol will make you interesting.
He said for a year he quit drinking, smoking, and eating shit food. Then he decided that was stupid and started drinking, smoking, and eating bad food again. I’ll let you be the judge of when the stupid line was crossed. I’ve mastered the “agree with you in hopes you’ll stop talking” method of mingling in the local pub, and thought this would be the best way out of the situation I faced. It wasn’t. It only gave him more fuel to explain why getting wasted, smoking cigarettes and eating Jack in the Box is great idea and makes life worth living.
I asked him at one point what he thought about the healthcare bill, and he said that “healthcare is for sick people.” I was lucky to get this nut of knowledge from my new drunken friend. How would I have made it through today without knowing that healthcare is for sick people? Fuck nutrition, that is boring. Someone send me some internet pictures of a celebrity getting out of a car without panties. That is the real point of high speed internet.
So of course when there is a discussion about something the “all important US government” is the one that has all the answers. You as a parent are too stupid to know what is ok to give your child. We now have towns in California looking to outlaw happy meals from fast food restraurants because the toys encourage bad eating habits. I don’t know about you, but if I had to relive my youth without the batmobile coming with my chicken nuggets I’d cut my own throat.
Do we really need a beauracy telling us not to eat salty, fatty, processed foods? It is my right as an American to digest whatever the fuck I want to and if that includes snorting a line of salt, banging a shot of tequila, and then squirting lime in my eye so be it. Not a very intelligent idea, but extremely funny and makes for some great pictures Jeff.
It all comes down once again to the very fact of personal responsibility. I read about a lady that only allowed her kids to drink soda because she heard once it was “more nutritious than water. It must be because it has more ingredients” she said. If you are going to open your legs and allow a man to impregnate you, you then have the personal responsibility to learn how to raise those kids. I can scream this for a month into the ears of these people and when I’m done they are going to look at me crosseyed and ask me if I want to buy extra stamps.
Seriously people… the fact that we allow this is very troubling to me. Her toothless, diabetic, soda drinking children just got healthcare that you are paying for, so its now your responsibility also. Who is to blame for the complete stupidity of your neighbors? We all are, we let “stupid” become ok so that we don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. Screw your feelings, the gene pool is polluted and we are all going to become sugar addicted crack babies. No idea what that means.
Say goodbye to your rights to do whatever you want because we have to pass laws to protect the stupid people. Do you ever see an entire herd of gazelles rallying around the one retarded one that stepped into a hole and is about to get eaten by a pride of lions?!? Nope, you see them run away and say good riddens to cousin Charlie that was too lazy to look where he was going. I’m winging this so bear with me.
My parents, as crazy as they might have been made sure we learned to eat our vegetables, drink milk or water, and excerise so we didn’t become fatasses. It is not the schools fault that little Timmy brings chocolate cake to school for lunch and his parents let him wash it down with a juicy juice. Then little Timmy grows up and bangs lazy Sarah who never heard of birth control and now we have little Timrah’s sitting around eating crap food. This isn’t rocket science, be responsible for yourself and leave me alone. If you can’t figure out how to ration what you put into your body, then you pay the consequences and deal with it.
Not much to learn today. Just be careful who you sit next to while drinking beer watching basketball. Oh and if you meet a fat chick named Sarah, run like hell.
FknBucky 
something tells me that, that kid does not give a shit about the batmobile that comes with his nuggets…