FknBucky

So this big thing exploded and screwed the world up and who cares right?   It is a volcano and because my roommate is complaining that I write about politics to much I’ve decided to blame the worlds problems on this volcano.  I bet that somewhere there are people protesting erupting volcanoes and on the other side of the street a different group of Earth loving ass clowns protesting the volcanoes right to erupt.  That’s right I hate the Earth. 

The airlines lost 2 billion dollars because of this eruption and that means we must do one thing.  Nuke the crap out of every volcano on the planet to make sure none of them erupt again.  Otherwise the airlines won’t make a profit and some people might get stranded for a week.  I know a whole week, crazy huh.  Wait for it…   MSNBC & FOX interview some genius for breaking news: 

Reporter: How does it feel to be stuck at the airport?

Genius:  This sucks.

Please give me back the last five minutes of my life, seriously why does this get on the air over and over.   It is a fucking volcano, they are supposed to erupt.  This breaking news is enough to make me want to shoot myself in the face.

Don’t worry soon they will pass a law against shooting yourself  in the head because you are too stupid to know that is bad for you.  I mean if we have a law that says you have to wear a seatbelt shouldn’t we make laws against all stupid things people do?  If you shoot yourself in the head, you will be subject to a $500 fine and/or a year in jail.  There should be a law that you can’t jump into a volcano although it would be some awesome live TV and I would watch.   What if we just let stupid people die off from now on??  Just a thought….

Volcanoes are cool and I think we could use them to our advantage.  I mean sacrificing a few virgins every once in a while might do the world some good.  Of course it would be a hassle to get them up there, but I’ll take a couple vacation days and drive them.  Take one for the team because I care about the world.

99% of you will never be affected in any way by this, but it is a headline.  Ever wonder why useless shit like this is all over the place?  Wait….  Don’t worry I’m not going to make you think today.   You know who I really blame for this damn volcano….

Jehovah witnesses.  If these freaks stayed home and stopped knocking on doors then volcanoes would not explode and make the world a safer place.  Why aren’t these people ever hot chicks in lingerie?  I would sit and listen for hours if you had a big set of knockers hanging out in my face.  Just saying maybe at the next board meeting someone should say “Hey if we want to recruit more members lets buy some tits for our door to door sales women?”

Alright we are on a roll today.    It’s great that I can join the rest of you with my head buried in the sand and my ass up in the air waiting for the next George Soros to come by and throw one in me.  Feels great doesn’t it.  Wow this is amazing you don’t even have a clue who is fucking you, in fact most of you are drunk enough on stupidity that you don’t even know you’re being fucked.  Stupid volcano.

Maybe we can cruise out there and bag up this smoke from the volcano and sell it to poor people somewhere and hope they get addicted to it.   Just give me one more hit volcano, I’ll suck your…  What does a volcano have?  Maybe a big fat hole like the one your checkbook represents. 

Tiger Woods banged 15 chicks that weren’t his wife and you can name 8 of them.  What’s your senator’s name?  Your Representative’s name?  What the fuck is your name?  Good now I’m going to hunt you down and throw you in the volcano, get drunk, and make out with the virgins.  You know what else pisses me off.  Schools. 

The schools in this country are a joke as well and yep you guessed it.  It  is because of the volcano.  When volcanoes erupt and shoot tons of pollution into the air, it messes up the membrane of the band teacher who then decides to make everyone play the trombone; which makes no sense.  Neither does this blog dipshit.  How is it being married to a blood relative by the way?

You know if we luck out by the end of the year we can have no civilization at all.  Kids are a bunch of pricks these days, parents are too lazy to do anything about it, and the guy writing this blog is a stupid crazy asshole.  One day two volcanoes are going to erupt at the same time and then we will be really screwed, but don’t say I didn’t tell you so.  You’ve been warned nuke the volcanoes before they nuke us. 

Fknbucky